This May, I spent two weeks in England with my mom. She hadn’t been on a plane since the late 1960s, so needless to say I was incredibly proud of her! We even got matching tattoos that say “ONEN HAG OLL,” which is Cornish for “ONE AND ALL”. We are all connected, so it seemed like a beautiful tribute to our adventures.

We spent three nights glamping in Illogan, drank lots of locally brewed pints of Cornish ale, and walked numerous miles just about every day we were abroad. We saw three ancestral homes, may have engaged in some moderate trespassing, and stood in the center of Stonehenge on an early, sunny Monday morning. We didn’t meet any living Tremaynes (my mom’s surname), but we met plenty of deceased Tremaynes in Kresen Kernow, the county archive of Cornwall.

I brought one of my favorite decks on this trip, Megan Wyreweden’s “Anima Mundi.” Sadly, or perhaps because of all of the natural and ancestral wonders that this trip brought to mind, I didn’t open the box even once.

Cornwall didn’t magically cure my phone addiction. While I spent less time on my phone overall, I didn’t stop wasting time altogether. I was disappointed in myself.

The day after I got back home, I made a snap decision. I deleted every single time-wasting app from my phone. No more games, social media feeds (I kept messaging-only platforms), or other distractions.

At the worst point in my addiction, I was spending upwards of eight hours on my phone every day. Since deleting most of my apps, that time has been more than cut in half. I now log an average of under three hours a day. I feel more alert, less dulled, and ready to return to the things that I know I never stopped loving.

I am ready to offer readings again, and to play music. I’ve been going to karaoke and not even taking my phone out of my bag. I forgot my phone on Saturday and, as a result, spent an entire day without it. Guess what? I didn’t die, I didn’t panic. In fact, I felt calmer than I have in a long time.

If you’ve made it this far, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I’m not going to edit this article, which I would normally do to a degree of personal torture. I’m going to let imperfections not only slide, but sparkle.

If you’re in the Cincinnati area, come see me this weekend! Witchstone TAROT will be at RebEarth Festival 5.0 in New Richmond, Ohio, on Saturday, June 5, starting at 10am. I’ll be at Sunshine Sessions in Washington Park on Sunday, starting at 2pm. I’ll be offering Tiny Tarot readings for a suggested payment of $15, and I’ll have a curated selection of new, used, and vintage new age books and self-published zine and decks for sale.

Have a beautiful weekend, wherever you are!

With love,

Margaret Estelle

P.S. My heart is broken over the sudden loss of Anthony Head. I dedicate this post to my favorite fictional librarian, Rupert Giles—your presence will never fade.

Dear subscribers,

I’ve been quiet for a while and intended to resume a somewhat regular publication schedule, but some major changes in my life necessitate a more lasting hiatus.

I wish each of you a productive 2026, and I hope to return to sharing with you again in the near future.

With love and light,

Margaret Estelle, The (formerly Secular) Tarot Witch

I’ve been feeling anxious lately. Anxious about, of all things, Tarot.

If you’ve been reading my posts for a while now, you know this is a weird vibe. I’m the “Pay What You Like, Pay What You Can” Tarot reader, after all, so why am I suddenly (or not so suddenly) anxious about the very thing that has been, since I started this publication a year ago, my Substack bread and butter?

I love Tarot. I love the traditions, history/histories/myths, archetypal associations, artistic choices, energies, everything about it. I carry a deck with me everywhere, because you never know when you or someone else will need a reading. I’m partial to the Eight Coins Mini Tattoo Tarot at the moment.

Lately I have also found Tarot to feel limiting. I say this as someone who has practiced the art of Tarot reading for many years.

There are incalculable depths of spirituality to be mined that overlap with and go far beyond what Tarot is capable of saying on its own.

Here is an example of such spirituality. I recently learned that my great-great grandfather, William Henry Harrison Breitenbach, used peach tree branches to dowse for water. As a Cancer Sun, I find myself sinking into the metaphorical waters of my mind and spirit as I meditate on this new-to-me information that my direct ancestor was what some might call a water witch. While I wish that my family had kept dowsing alive in my lineage, I also know that I can pursue this art on my own.

I am also deeply interested in spell work. During a recent trip to Hierophany & Hedge, one of the finest purveyors of magickal supplies in the United States, I added three new volumes to my reference library (affiliate links support Witchstone TAROT):

• The late, great Scott Cunningham’s 1989 classic, The Complete Book of Incense, Oils & Brews, now in its 46th printing. This is the second copy I have owned in my lifetime, the first having been culled from my library at a time when I thought I was done with magick (it was not, however, done with me!).

• Arin Murphy-Hiscock’s Spellcrafting: Strengthen the Power of Your Craft by Creating and Casting Your Own Unique Spells. The author of The Green Witch book and companion oracle deck brings together many aspects of spellcrafting such as magickal timing, correspondences, common ingredients, substitutions, and more. An impressive little volume!

• Steve Patterson’s Spells from the Wise Woman’s Cottage (link to publisher) shares spells and charms used by a Cornish wise woman known as Old Joan. Patterson shares information about the Museum of Witchcraft & Magic in Boscastle, where Old Joan’s magickal practices come to life once more.

Tarot cards are a powerful addition to spells, especially when they are selected face up. If your aim is to draw romance into your life, why not work with The Lovers? To renew energetic vitality in your workspace, how about the Eight of Pentacles?

Four Directions Harmonious Home Spell

This spell can be used to clear negative energy, rebalance unresolved conflict, and remove energetic clutter.

Ingredients:

• Four of Wands Tarot card

• Four small twigs (found on your property is best)

• A white candle (for clarity)

• A black candle (for protection)

• Matches or a lighter

• A compass

Set-up:

To banish negative energy from your home, light your black candle, saying:

With this flame, I banish negative energies from this place. I burn away bad spirits.

To set your intention in this newly protected space, light your white candle, saying:

With this flame, I invoke a clear head and heart. I burn away clouded thoughts and emotions.

Close your eyes and imagine the inside of your home. Focus your intention on a pure ball of light. Inside this ball of light, visualize a happy scene such as a dinner party or a quiet evening around the hearth.

Calling the Four Directions: take the North-facing twig, saying:

I call to the North, keeper of Earth, to heal and harmonize my home’s foundation.

Pass the twig over each flame, black followed by white. Return the twig to your ritual surface, with the burnt end pointing North.

Repeat this fire-cleansing ritual for each of the remaining three Directions, returning each twig to the ritual surface with the burnt end facing the Direction called upon:

I call to the East, keeper of Air, to heal and harmonize my home’s thoughts.

I call to the South, keeper of Fire, to heal and harmonize my home’s activities.

I call to the West, keeper of Water, to heal and harmonize my home’s emotions.

Meditate on the Four of Wands card, allowing the flickering flames to warm and blur the corners of your vision. Allow your breathing to slow and deepen. Allow the sense of harmonious energy all the time it needs to feel complete and pure.

To close the ritual, simply thank the Four Directions in your own way, then extinguish both flames.

To make a talisman from this ritual, tie together the four twigs with a piece of string and hang it over the door most used by guests, with the burnt ends facing toward the doorway.

Repeat this ritual any time your home’s energy feels stale, combative, or otherwise negative.

If you tried this spell, or have cast a similar one, please let me know in the comments!

- Margaret Estelle

P.S. It’s never too early to start thinking about the holidays. Giving the gift of reading or Tarot decks this year? Tap/click on the purple door to step into my bookshop!

To book your Pay What You Like, Pay What You Can Tarot reading, please visit my date book.

It’s been roughly two months since I stopped charging a set fee to my Tarot clients. I’ve received a lot of questions about this pricing model, so I thought I’d write up a response, along with some personal insights about how the experience has felt from a reader’s point of view.

I used to charge $50 an hour, but I only saw a couple of clients a month. I had so little business that it didn’t even feel worth the effort to advertise. Reading so infrequently also made me feel rusty. Like, I know what I’m doing, but do I really know? Then I got a crazy idea: Stop charging!

So, how’s it going now, and what’s next?

Since July 29, I have read for 26 clients. If you’re a full-time reader, this doesn’t sound like a lot. You may be booked out several weeks, or even months, in advance. You may charge a little, or a lot, more per hour than I once did. Considering I read as a secondary income source and, prior to this experiment, read for sometimes as few as 1-2 clients a month, I see this as a wild success. I have 12- to 13-fold the number of clients, and I’ve more than doubled my income.

What’s more, I’m enjoying myself immensely!

Where are my clients?

Most of my clients hail from the US. I read for lots of folks in the Midwest and South. I also have clients in the UK, Continental Europe, Russia, South America, and Australia. If you’re somewhere in Asia, I want to hear from you!

What payment types do my clients use?

Of those clients who pay for readings, most use Venmo, followed by Stripe and then PayPal. My preferred payment method is Venmo since there is no fee to initiate a standard bank transfer. However, Venmo is not available in all areas.

How much money am I making?

On average, a little over half of my clients pay for readings. I never ask for optional payment upfront (that would be presumptuous and, frankly, weird since you might end up not getting what you need out of the reading), and I always deliver a consistent experience that is not transactional.

Counting no-payment readings, I earn an average of $16.64 an hour. Excluding no-payment readings, I earn $30.90 an hour. The most common amount that people pay for readings is $50.

Since July 29, I have earned $432.57. I have been able to keep $424.55 of this amount, while the remaining $8.02 went toward Stripe and PayPal fees. On top of the few hundred dollars I make a year from paid Substack subscriptions, I’d say this experiment hasn’t been too shabby!

What’s next?

I think it’s too early to say for sure, but I have no immediate plans to start charging a set fee again. I’m fortunate to be in a position to offer Pay What You Like, Pay What You Can readings, and I don’t take my fortune lightly. I love what I do, so why change it?

Not everyone who could benefit from a Tarot reading can afford one, so those of you who are able to pay allow me to hold space for everyone by funding not only my time, but also my budget for new decks, books, and other Tarot and oracle resources that I incorporate into future sessions.

To everyone who has booked a reading with me, thank you from the bottom of my heart! You have made me a better reader, showed me new ways to see the cards that I thought I already knew so well, and confirmed my belief that there are beautiful people all over the world who want to be the light in the darkness!

Be well,

Margaret Estelle

P.S. I started using the sign-off “Be well” during the early days of COVID-19. It felt like a gentle way of wishing good health to others without specifying what wellness means. I hope that all reading this are well in your own ways, and I wish you a beautiful start to Autumn!

P.P.S. To book your Pay What You Like, Pay What You Can Tarot reading, please visit my date book.

The Lo Shu Square (or Luo Shu, 洛書), also known as the Saturn Square or the Nine Halls Diagram (九宮圖), is a feat of mathematics. The three digits in each row, column, and even diagonal add up to 15:

• 4 + 9 + 2 = 15;

• 3 + 5 + 7 = 15;

• 8 + 1 + 6 = 15;

• 4 + 3 + 8 = 15;

• 9 + 5 + 1 = 15;

• 2 + 7 + 6 = 15;

• 4 + 5 + 6 = 15; and

• 8 + 5 + 2 = 15.

This 3 x 3 grid is not the only so-called “magic square.” A 4 x 4 magic square first referenced in 12th-century India contains all of the digits two through 16; each row, column, and diagonal adds up to 34. Its name, Chautisa Yantra, means “thirty-four device.”

The Lo Shu Square derives its name from a Chinese legend dating to the late third century BCE. Yu the Great, aka Yu the Engineer, said to have founded the Xia dynasty, was known for his efforts to control flooding throughout China, which gave him intimate knowledge of the Chinese terrain. As emperor, Yu used this knowledge to divide China into nine zhou, or provinces. When third-century Chinese people made offerings to the god of one of the flood sites, the Luo river, in hopes of stopping the flooding, a turtle emerged from the water. Groupings of circles, which represented the digits one through nine, appeared on the turtle’s shell in a distinct pattern, which some people took as a sign that they were safe from future flooding.

In addition to its ability to sum to 15 in every row, column, and diagonal, the digits 1 through 9 add up to 45, which reduces to 9 (4 + 5 = 9).

Nine comes back to nine. Nine squares. Nine numbers. Nine zhou. The Nine Halls Diagram.

Divination

For purposes of divination, you can take any sequence of numbers and map it to the Lo Shu Square. Many people do this with dates. Catherine Yronwode (2019) gives us an example. The Lo Shu Square for someone born on February 15, 1928, looks like this:

Lo Shu Squares contain messages, which are based on whether specific rows, columns, or diagonals are completely filled in or completely empty. For example, The Arrow of Skepticism occurs when numerals 4, 5, and 6 are empty:

It is important to point out that, so long as 4, 5, and 6 are empty, it doesn’t matter whether or not the remaining numerals are filled in. Even if the above square didn’t contain an 8 or a 3, for example, The Arrow of Skepticism would still be present in this Lo Shu Square.

Tarotcasting in the Lo Shu Square

What happens when we map a Tarot reading to the Lo Shu Square? I say the results are nothing short of… well… magical!

There are 18 basic line and arrow patterns in Lo Shu Squares. Here is a preview of what these patterns can do to further enhance your readings.

The 9-Card Lo Shu “Tableau”

For this spread, you will need a single deck of Tarot cards, a writing implement, and a writing surface, preferably a Tarot journal or some lined paper.

Prepare Your Space

You’ll need a reading surface that can accommodate a Tarot card sized 9 x 9 grid. Lay down a large cloth, mark off each section with washi tape, or think of another creative way to map your grid. Felt squares will also do the trick.

Prepare Your Journal or Page

Draw a simple 9 x 9 grid like the example shown above. Give yourself enough space to note the names of each card you draw. Use a ruler or lined paper, or let your lines be a little crooked—this is your reading, so have fun! If you’re fairly new to Lo Shu, you may want to write the corresponding number in the top corner of each square for reference.

Shuffle Your Deck & Place Your Piles

As you shuffle, think of a question you can ask in three parts. For this example, we will think of a Situation, and Action, and an Outcome. Divide your deck into three face-down piles.

Situation (Cards 1-3)

Turn over the top card from each pile. Reversals can be ignored if that’s not your jam.

Before you do anything else, just look at the cards you’ve pulled, exactly as you’ve placed them. What do the images say individually or collectively about your situation? Jot down your initial reactions. What patterns or duplications do you notice? Are all three cards associated with the element of Water? Are any of the cards consecutive (e.g., 2 of Cups and 3 of Cups)?

Next, think about which Lo Shu number each card corresponds with. Any number greater than 9 is reduced by adding its digits together. For example, 13 reduces to 4, because 1 plus 3 equals 4. 19 reduces to 1; 1 plus 9 equals 10, and 1 plus 0 equals 1.

A Note About Court Cards

Most Court Cards are not numbered, and so their numerical values are based on their positions in the Minor Arcana:

• Pages are the 11th cards of each Minor Arcana suit. 11 reduces to 2, because 1 plus 1 equals 2.

• Knights are the 12th cards of each suit. 12 reduces to 3.

• Queens are the 13th cards of each suit. 13 reduces to 4.

• Kings are the 14th cards of each suit. 14 reduces to 5.

Map Your Cards to the Lo Shu Grid

Next, place your cards in the physical Lo Shu Grid you’ve laid out on your reading surface. Copy the names (or abbreviations) of each card in your journal grid. If your cards form a horizontal, vertical, or diagonal line, they have extra significance in the Lo Shu. Optionally, underline or circle these patterns to refer to later.

Action (Cards 4-6)

Return to your three card piles and pull another sequence of three. As before, write down your initial responses to the cards. Place the physical cards on your reading surface and note their names on your journal grid. Again, note any lines formed by these three cards.

Outcome (Cards 7-9)

Repeat the previous steps as above.

Putting It All Together

Make a list of every line that contains at least one card in every position. Make a separate list of any rows, columns, or diagonals that are empty; these are known as Arrows and reflect a more shadowy energy. Refer to the notes at the end of this article for a complete list of Lines and Arrows.

A Sample Reading

You (or your client) want to identify two possible directions a creative project might take. You have the budget to do a limited print run or publish a website, but not both. Your reading will look at Audience (What Your Audience Wants), Cards 1-3), Print (Pros and Cons, Cards 4-6), and Web (Pros and Cons, Cards 7-9).

Audience

Cards: King of Cups, Fool, and Ace of Cups

Numerology: 14, 0, 1, 15/6

Your audience craves an emotionally charged story (Cups) that has a clear beginning (Ace) and end (King). They want a main character whose desire to see the world outweighs their knowledge of what lies ahead (the Fool).

Print

Cards: Emperor, 8 of Pentacles, and 8 of Cups

Numerology: 4, 8, 8, 20/2

You are certain (Emperor) your audience would like a print edition, but are you correct in concluding that this is the best path? What about people who can’t afford to purchase a copy? The process of creating a print edition will be labor intensive (Eight of Pentacles). If you rush into this creative direction, backing out won’t be an easy option (Eight of Cups). Use your best Judgment (20/2) and choose well. A pair of Eights usually indicates lots of movement.

Web

Cards: Justice, 2 of Cups, and 5 of Cups

Numerology: 11, 2, 5, 18/9

A website would be more affordable and accessible (Justice) for your audience. If you include a way for your audience to communicate with each other, meaningful connections are likely to form (Two of Cups). A website will not be everyone’s cup of tea (Five of Cups), but you have to take the bad with the good.

The Lo Shu Map

Additional insights come to the surface when you map your cards to the Lo Shu Square:

Continuing with our sample reading, we get three Lines:

1. The Line of Intellect crosses the Plane of Observation (4-9-2), which has to do with intellect, memory, and mental processes. The presence of this Line indicates noticing the here and now and processing sensory input.

   1. We pulled three Major Arcana cards, the Emperor, the Fool, and Justice, and one Number card, the 2 of Cups (2C).

   2. What comes up when you consider the mental aspects of your creative project? The mind is associated with the Air element, and we have two Air cards in the Line of Intellect, the Fool and Justice. If this pair carries more weight in the reading, perhaps the Universe is telling us to focus on approaching this project equitably. While a print run would be nice, the Fool isn’t one to wait around. The web version can go live sooner rather than later, and you can leverage your audience’s participation to get meaningful feedback about how you can improve as you go.

2. The Line of Certainty crosses the Plane of the Self (9-5-1), which bespeaks desire, power, and survival. This Line is all about personal achievement, endurance, and follow-through.

   1. We pulled three Cup cards—the King of Cups (KgC), 5 of Cups (5C), and Ace of Cups (1C)—and the Fool.

   2. Lots of emotional energy comes through the Line of Certainty. Kings are generally associated with assurance, at least from a leadership perspective, but this certainty can sometimes get us into trouble. Are your decisions based only on emotion? You don’t want to write a check that you literally can’t cash. Pay attention to your budget and do what is within your means. The Fool is a literal “Air head” (they are associated with the Air element)—lean into their playful approach to decision making!

3. The Line of Determination crosses the Plane of Silver (8-5-2), which has to do with resistance, challenge, advocacy, and hope.

   1. We pulled a pair of 8s, the 8 of Pentacles (8P) and 8 of Cups (8C). This Line contains four Cups altogether: 8, King, 5, and 2. We also pulled Justice.

   2. 8s are all about movement, a quality that is particularly useful when you’re working to get a creative project out into the world. A majority of Cups, in combination with Justice, indicates that we need to pay attention to our audience’s emotional fulfillment. Which format will satisfy the greatest number of people, print or web?

What do you think the querent should do, a print run or a website? How might you use the Lo Shu Square to enhance your Tarot readings? Please consider leaving a comment or restacking to take the conversation to your followers or subscribers!

The Lo Shu Planes

• The Plane of Observation (4-9-2)

  • The Line of Intellect

  • The Arrow of Memory

• The Plane of Emotion (3-5-7)

  • The Line of Calm Balance

  • The Arrow of Sensitivity

• The Plane of Foundation (8-1-6)

  • The Line of Practicality

  • The Arrow of Abstraction

• The Plane of Imagination (4-3-8)

  • The Line of Planning

  • The Arrow of Envisioning

• The Plane of the Self (9-5-1)

  • The Line of Certainty

  • The Arrow of Doubt

• The Plane of Manifestation (2-7-6)

  • The Line of Action

  • The Arrow of Contemplation

• The Plane of Gold (4-5-6)

  • The Line of Belief

  • The Arrow of Skepticism

• The Plane of Silver (8-5-2)

  • The Line of Determination

  • The Arrow of Contemplation

Pay What You Like for a Tarot Reading!

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This essay is a letter to my most important ancestor of blood, Magdalena Seipelin Breitenbachin (1800-1884). Lena lived in a time and place when women’s surnames were appended with the “-in” suffix, which I take into consideration when doing arithmantic readings. What follows is a close reading of our names, the dates of our travels, and some astrological underpinnings about which I have a working knowledge.

Dearest Oma, for that is what I call you,

My name is Margaret Estelle. I am your great-great-great-great granddaughter. When I moved to Cincinnati, Ohio, in the summer of 2011, little did I know that you would be my neighbor. Your final resting place in one of the largest cemeteries in the Midwest is just 10 minutes from my first Cincinnati apartment.

July 1, 2011, was an auspicious day. Nothing feels quite like starting over, wissen Sie?1 The Sun was hot in the sky and the endless parade of moving boxes spelled possibility. The date on which I moved here (reduced without zeros since they have no bearing on the final arithmantic value):

7 + 1 + 2 + 1 + 1 = 12/3

A 12/3 date embodies the Hanged One (Major Arcanum 12, also known as Perspective) and the Empress (Major Arcanum 3). Shifting points of view and rebirth. Moving here is the best decision I ever made.

174 years earlier, in the summer of 1837, you boarded a ship bound for the United States. You traveled from Bremen, Germany, how you got there from Hessen I would love to know, and arrived in New York on August 30, 1837:

8 + 3 + 1 + 8 + 3 + 7 = 30/3.

Also a date of rebirth (3). And 30 is the number of someone who possesses a high level of knowledge about religion. You were a member of the Evangelische Kirche (Evangelical, or Protestant, Church) in Hessen, and you found a spiritual home in a similar congregation here in Ohio.

You came with 14 family members, including your brother-in-law and his wife and their five children, and your seven living children: Margaretha, Johann, “Velty” (Valentin), Friedrich (my great-great-great grandfather), Paul (sometimes misattributed as Powell or Parnell; that is another story altogether, and an important object lesson in transcription and genealogical research), Benjamin, and Georg.

Dearest Oma, I am so sorry that Opa could not come with you. I learned that he died before your trip, as did your mother and one of your daughters. How I wish that I could go back in time and do something to protect them. I have wept for you and for them, and for your children.

Here were are, you and I, in Cincinnati.

MAGDALENA (27/9); everyone called you LENA (14/5). You were named a seeker of knowledge and wisdom (The Hermit, Major Arcanum 9). Others recognized you as someone with great respect for finding balance in life (Temperance, Major Arcanum 14) and knowing how to impart life lessons to others (The Hierophant, Major Arcanum 5). You demonstrated this tempered approach to life by the very act of traveling thousands of miles with seven children! No easy task by any stretch of the imagination.

MARGARET (22); I briefly went by MAGGIE (17/8), not the best chapter in my life. I was named with a Master Number. 22 is the Master Builder, the one who knows how to alchemize dreams into reality. I came to Cincinnati with barely two nickels to rub together and a small voice teaching practice with virtually no clients. Now I earn a middle class income as a library worker and I am fortunate to have the time to devote to my Tarot practice. As Maggie, I had given myself false hope (The Star, Major Arcanum 17) that middle school would be easier with a new name. I soon realized that performing Strength (Major Arcanum 8) as Maggie was not the same as living into the real strength of Margaret.

You were born to a SEIPEL (25/7). As a daughter, you were born a SEIPELIN (31/4). Our patrilineal men were mystics (interesting to ponder!) and our patrilineal women were practical. I don’t think this made them any less mystical. I sense that these women were both spiritual and pragmatic.

You married into the BREITENBACH (35/8) family. As a woman, you took the married name BREITENBACHIN (41/5). What was strong (8) became hardship (5). Please do not feel guilty! You married for love, I firmly believe this, and the hardship that followed impacted thousands of agrarian Germans. Our family’s suffering was acute and personal. Within the number of challenge (5), we find 4 (stability) and 1 (power). You found your way back to safety, and most of our family came with you. I am grateful.

Oma, we were both in our thirties when we took huge steps to change our own lives. An entrepreneur with whom I am close says your thirties are the decade when you get to prove yourself to the world. I did that. Now that I’m in my forties, I’m proving myself to me.

Back to our adventures!

You traveled aboard the BRIG FRANKLIN (35/8) and I a MINI COOPER (43/7). For you, Strength (8) came from your own determination to seek out a better life. Vormärz—a term we now use to describe the period in German history between the “beginning of the end” for a primarily agrarian economy and the eve of the 1848 March Revolution throughout the German Confederation—was here. Crops were dying. Trains travel was burgeoning. Some people were calling for universal suffrage. The world was changing, and your family—our family—would not be left behind.

Lena

The Brig Franklin arrived in New York during a Balsamic Dark Moon (Waning Crescent), a time of mystical and otherworldly alignment that punctuates endings and beginnings. Saying goodbye to our family in Hessen must have been one of the hardest experiences of your life. You surely knew in your heart, even if you never said it out loud, that you would likely never see each other again.

Both the Sun and the Moon were in Virgo, signaling a time of safety and security. Stepping off of the ship and onto terra firma must have felt like release and trust mixed with some healthy trepidation.

Margaret

Our Mini Cooper arrived in Cincinnati during a New Moon, a mystical and quiet portal between endings and beginnings. Moving a couple of hours by car in the 21st century was simple compared with your weeks-long 19th-century ocean voyage, Oma, and I never had to worry that I would lose touch with our family for good. Once I discovered your final resting place, I never forgot my respect for the sacrifices you made.

Both the Sun and Moon were in Cancer during my move, signaling a time of emotional vulnerability and craving to be home. I felt that I was home after moving here, and I felt it right away. I always knew something was missing, and I am so fortunate that I didn’t have to lose so much in order to be here today.

Synchronicities

On both of our auspicious days, 174 years apart, the Moon was in the 1st House. Emotions ran high, and you and I were deeply attuned to the energies of those around us. Both of our 1st Houses also contained Mercury, which added wit and observational skills into the mix. I like to think you could tell a joke much better than I.

Both of our 3rd Houses featured Saturn. We tempered our wit with clear communication. Leaving home was a big deal, and it required a lot of attention and clarity. We both knew what was needed, and we weren’t afraid to speak up.

Dearest Oma, I hope that my words honor you, and that what I’ve shared with you today is a reflection of who you were and are. I feel that I know you, profoundly, through the many ways that I have communicated with you. Nothing compares with walking the grassy family plot, finding your patch of ground, and just sitting with you, auf Deutsch plaudern,2 sharing with you my biggest secrets.

Ihre Enkelin,3

Margaret

Witchstone TAROT is a free publication. (I’m steadily unpaywalling archived articles.) If you enjoy what you see and would like to book a free Tarot reading, please subscribe and send me a DM (direct message). This publication is a true labor of love, and a significant investment of my time. If you want to support my work and enable my Tarot deck habit, you may leave a little something in my cauldron. ♡♡♡

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When I began this Substack newsletter in October 2024, I was determined to be a voice of “reason” and “logic” in the Tarot community. I saw an opportunity to apply my research skills to a practice that I saw as “overrun” by people who were too “woo woo.”

The more I studied the cards over the next few months—because we never stop learning—and the more I read and was inspired by the writing of my fellow Tarot readers here on Substack and elsewhere, the more I began to realize that “secular” no longer fit. I realized that I, too, am woo woo.

Routine became ritual.

For years, my morning routine was shuffling a deck and pulling some cards, focusing on the intellectual side of reading. I looked for patterns and approached the cards as text.

One day I realized that I hadn’t actually been looking at the cards. Once I started doing so, what I saw alchemized routine task into ritual practice.

What followed was a months-long period of contemplation—trying on new names, testing their numerological values, checking to see whether another reader or writer out there was already using a name I really like (“Tarotmancer” is a book series!). I wanted a name that would honor both my past as a “secular” reader and my present as a cunning woman who is coming into her own.

I chose Witchstone TAROT because, for me, Tarot is a sacred portal. It’s a place that exists both within and without our multidimensional selves (inspiration, heart, mind, body, soul). I was looking at my new(ish) Substack banner, which is a photograph I took of a real witch stone that I found at my work, and I thought: “This is it!”

So, welcome to Witchstone TAROT, where all readers, writers, and curious folks belong. I’m looking forward to this next chapter.

- Margaret Estelle, The Secular Tarot Witch

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I am not a medical professional, licensed counselor, or addiction specialist. I am simply someone who has found that Tarot cards help me with recovery. I dedicate this flagship essay to Dana Leigh Lyons and the rest of the Sober App community—you found me at exactly the right time.

This post contains references to alcohol use and phone addiction.

It’s Sunday morning, or maybe Saturday. The details don’t matter. The first sensation I feel is the unforgiving rigidity of the dirty linoleum tile against my matted hair. My tongue is course grade sandpaper, my mouth a vat of acid.

I open my eyes. Someone left the blinds up, or maybe they’re broken. The rent is only $300, so what am I expecting will happen? The Sun’s laser-like persistence snakes its way between the cracked slats, meets my irises, and bores into the back of my skull.

I am hung-the-fuck-over.

With great effort, I push my head to the side. I haven’t moved a muscle save for my eyelids. The weight of my face is Sisyphus’ boulder, my consciousness his mountain.

I tell myself that my hangover is a badge of honor, because here I am, alive to tell the tale, having enjoyed great conversation long into the night. The pros choke the life out of the cons. It’s 2006, I am 26 years old, and I tell myself that I am invincible.

The Sun is a giant star found at the center of our solar system. In a universe that is mostly darkness and emptiness, it is the most important source of energy for life on Earth. Energy gives off light, which produces heat. Heat, in turn, evaporates water. Scientists project that, because the Sun’s brightness increases at a rate of about 1% every 100 million years, in about a billion years, maybe longer, the Earth will dry up.

We are incredibly lucky to be alive. Life is not infinite. Human consciousness is the exception. I don’t know about you, but the fact that life didn’t have to happen at all makes me appreciate it even more.

We encounter the Sun on the 19th card in the Major Arcana of the Tarot. The Major Arcana, or majors, are the special cards that juice up the 52 minors that we can think of as echoes of standard playing cards. If the Minor Arcana are the altos who transmute the beauty of everyday life into artful storytelling, the majors are the coloratura sopranos who reverberate otherworldly messages that both transcend and validate our experiences. The Sun is two heartbeats away from the top note in the musical scale, the final star in a series of celestial bodies that watch over our mortal and spiritual paths.

The Sun’s rays shine a light on the best and most simple aspect of life: just being. We are here, impossibly—we are alive, we have consciousness and are free to notice and appreciate beauty. Lisa Sterle, creator of Modern Witch Tarot, tells us that “There is wonder and warmth everywhere” (29), and we have been given an opportunity to be present for it.

When we are in active substance use or compulsive behavior patterns, waking up mid-afternoon to bright lights doesn’t exactly inspire awe or a lust for life (even though we often mistake our “badges of honor” for these more worthwhile feelings). Instead we might experience shame, guilt, or physical pain, and our negative self-talk puts us at greater risk of relapse.

Rather than rationalizing our withdrawal symptoms as a sign that we had a good time, or telling ourselves that our two hours of first-thing-in-the-morning doom-scrolling is the best medicine to calm our anxious thoughts, the Sun invites us to shine a light on the parts of us that are hurting, and to find a healthy way forward in this consciousness that is inexplicably and gloriously ours to navigate.

Good Morning, Sunshine Mindfulness Spread

This Tarot spread is dedicated to anyone who feels called to reconnect with recovery in any form, whether it’s distancing yourself from alcohol, social media use, a toxic relationship, or any behavior that is negatively impacting your life.

Grab a tarot deck. (For some fantastic deck recs, please visit my Secular Tarot Witch Bookshop.) Flip through the cards until you find the Sun. Set it aside.

As you shuffle the cards, I invite you to be present with the physical sensations you experience. What do the cards feel like? Are they flimsy or stiff, smooth or worn? Do they fit in your hands easily, or do you find yourself putting extra effort into corralling them? What do they smell like? (Weird, I know, but bear with me.) Bring at least two adjectives into your mind.

Now I want you to close your eyes and picture the actual Sun and the sky surrounding it. Is the day in your mind’s eye bright, partly cloudy, or stormy? What shades of blue populate the atmosphere?

Open your eyes and spend a few moments studying your Sun Tarot card. What is your initial reaction to it? What parts of the image bring you joy? Do any aspects of the image ask you to sit with pain?

Using any method you like, pick a card and place it to the left of the Sun. This card represents your compulsions or addictions.

Pick another card and place it to the right of the Sun. This card represents your recovery.

Some questions to consider:

• Do you notice any common themes when you look at all three cards? For instance, do they all feature people? Is one color or shape predominant? Without consulting any written information, what do these commonalities say to your intuitive self?

• Do either or both of the cards you drew seem out of place with the Sun? If so, why do you feel this way?

• Does your addiction/compulsion card suggest anything about your past choices that you hadn’t considered before? Do you see a message of compassion that helps you forgive and love yourself?

• What actions does the recovery card illustrate? Can you connect this card with tools or skills you’ve learned from a sponsor, trusted friend, support group, or another recovery resource?

A Good Morning, Sunshine Reading for My Phone Addiction

For this reading, I’m working with Lisa Sterle’s Modern Witch Tarot Deck.

The publisher, Liminal 11, uses super heavy card stock. I didn’t like the way the cards felt until I’d broken them in a little. Now I love their weight. They feel constant, sure. Because I grew up in a card playing family, I wanted to figure out how to shuffle Tarot cards just like any other card deck. My hands have grown accustomed to the extra stretch. The cards smell plastic-y and a bit like musty fabric softener. I am thinking about my grandmother, Phyllis, card player and shuffler extraordinaire, and someone who I’m certain would have had a TikTok account to show off her tap dancing and singing skills. She and I shared so much, both interests and personality traits. I wonder if she would have faced the same struggles with phone addiction that I do?

When I close my eyes and think of the Sun, I imagine its rays peeking through a dark gray cloud in a dull sky. Shades of blue range from cobalt to dimmed aqua. A storm is coming, or has it already passed?

The Modern Witch Sun depicts a young girl sitting on a white horse. She holds a giant red flag off to her side. How is she so strong? Her smile is infectious. She and her equine companion make me think of playing with My Little Ponies when I was little. I am certain that I believed they could talk to me. I miss that girl. She didn’t know that one day she would grow up to be someone who constantly stares at a glowing rectangle.

My phone addiction: The Empress

My recovery: 10 of Pentacles

My observations:

• One thing that stands out for me is the warm colors on all three cards—lots of yellows and reds. These colors have an activated energy. There are people on all three cards, so I am reminded that my journey to recovery is about human connection. I can use my experiences with addiction as a way to commune with others who face similar struggles.

• I think both cards I drew align beautifully with the Sun.

• The Empress card is all about feminine energy and connection with the physical realm. I immediately think of the Moon and menstrual cycles. I have missed out on so many opportunities to tap into a conscious awareness of my alignment with the Moon because I have not been present. The Empress reminds me that I am still here, there is still time, I still have feminine energy inside of me, the Moon isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

• The 10 of Pentacles reassures me that recovery from phone addiction is possible, and it shows me that there are people in my life now, and in the future, who will show me healthier ways to interact with the world by being present with family, friends, my group therapy ladies, and now anyone reading these words. I am hopeful and excited for a future without phone addiction, and I am building the steps to this future simply by bringing attention to my present struggles.

Comments from the Archives

: “This is such a cool use of tarot within navigating our addiction stories! Excited to meet the next sponsors!” : “Next week's chapter, "(Don't Get Behind) The Wheel," is a real doozy. I'm still working out the details, because I want to offer more than just bumming people out with my past. Some fresh ideas are bubbling as we speak!”

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The Secular Tarot Witch is a free publication. (I’m steadily unpaywalling archived articles.) If you enjoy what you see and would like to book a free Tarot reading, please subscribe and send me a DM (direct message). This publication is a true labor of love, and a significant investment of my time. If you want to support my work and enable my Tarot deck habit, you may leave a little something in my cauldron. ♡♡♡

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(Emeth and The Keystone) nominated me to answer his five questions, which makes me a Sunshine Blogger! This is sure to be a whole lot of fun.

Here’s Cameron’s post in which he answered questions from Angela Morris (Irrational Sage):

Emeth

The Sunshine Blogger Awards

Angela Morris over at the Irrational Sage nominated me to answer her five questions, deeming me a Sunshine Blogger. It’s fun to play along, so here we go…

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a year ago · 10 likes · 18 comments · Cameron M. Bailey

Here are the rules:

• Display the award’s official logo somewhere on your blog.

• Thank the person who nominated you (Thanks again, Cameron!)

• Provide a link to your nominator’s blog.

• Answer your nominator’s questions.

• Nominate at least five bloggers.

• Provide up to five questions for your nominees.

  ---

Cameron’s Questions (& My Answers)

What drives you to write, and make your writings available to the world?

This is a huge question! My drive to write comes from accepting that I have been chosen to transmit. I don’t always know where my ideas come from; I just know that they are mine to share because they come from something/somewhere unseen. I share my writing in hopes that it connects with or helps at least one person.

What is your proudest accomplishment or moment?

One of my proudest moments (not sure how anyone can pick just one!) was walking at commencement to receive my Master of the Arts in History diploma. (The diploma was mailed to me a few weeks later, but I digress). I spent nearly 15 years convinced that I didn’t belong in school, that I was too scattered and not disciplined enough. It turns out that I just needed to connect with the right program and topic! My research about Marie von Bonin von Kracht genuinely saved my life. She gives me a higher purpose every day, and in fact her signature is memorialized in tattoo form on my forearm!

What do you want to learn more about in the future?

I tend not to plan too far out when it comes to what I want to learn. Right now I’m working on developing a more nuanced and universal phonetic system of arithmancy, based in part on Leeya Thompson’s The Wisdom of Sound and Number, the only book I am aware of that takes a serious look at arithmancing language without the added layer of standardized spelling, a relatively recent invention.

Where do you do your best writing?

I do my best writing either on my couch at home, surrounded by cats, or in a busy and noisy coffee shop in a nearby college neighborhood, surrounded by the Pages energy of students.

How do you feel about hot dogs?

Hot dogs are delicious, and I don’t need them to be fancy. Ketchup and some shredded cheese and I’m happy as can be.

I nominate the incomparable:

My five questions are:

1. Which is more important, intuition or knowledge?

2. What is something you disliked learning about when you were younger that you enjoy learning about now?

3. Do you prefer reading fiction or nonfiction?

4. Who is someone you disagree with in at least one fundamental way who you also consider to be important in your life?

5. Beatles or Rolling Stones?

Thanks again, Cameron!

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This month’s roundup is a little unusual in that every essay I’ve included departs from our conventional ideas about what an essay should be: “story-fying” the Tarot, an online Tarot card directory, discovering what kind of pendulum worker you are, and exploring fandom, the Gilmore Girls, and what it means to be “well read.” I hope you enjoy!

“The King was dead”

I thought this was going to be a standard, step-by-step, “this is how you do visualization in Tarot” kind of post, but has a delightful habit of not writing what you think he’s going to write.

Instead, he’s given us a piece of short fiction about a man named Perceval who, upon reaching the Tower, has discovered that, as the heading says, “the King was dead.” What Perceval does next is as unexpected as the story itself. Check it out below!

The Keystone

A Blast From The Past No. 4

I had three days almost entirely away from all things electronic. Today I took my first steps back in. But, not entirely. Hence this republishing of something I posted here in November of 2022…

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a year ago · 8 likes · 6 comments · Cameron M. Bailey

A Digital LWB (Little White Book)

Attention Tarot readers, you need to bookmark this post, like, immediately, and please don’t forget to subscribe! ’s “Tarot Index” is thoughtfully conceived, clearly organized, and both concise and deep. This one needs to go viral.

The Laughing Mystic

Tarot Index

Introduction…

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a year ago · 6 likes · Sarah Dewhirst

“What’s Your Pendulum Personality?”

is at it again, gifting our community with another super fun and equally useful quiz! I recently shared another Nancy quiz, “What’s Your Soul Job?”, which I found to be quite clarifying. My Pendulum Personality is the Witch. What’s yours? Be sure to check out the second half of the article, which includes rituals and spells for each “pendulum personality” type.

The Hidden Path

What's Your Pendulum Vibe?

I use pendulums in all of my ancestral work…

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a year ago · 27 likes · 12 comments · Nancy Hendrickson

Rory Gilmore and the Literary Imagination

asks, “How well read is Rory Gilmore compared to how well-read we want her to be? What does it say about us that we the fandom imagine a Rory Gilmore who doesn’t entirely exist? What can we learn from the imaginary Rory, the more literary Rory, who we would all rather remember?”

Check out the bubbling thoughts of a medievalist who loves the Gilmore Girls (and a damned good blank notebook) here:

Thanks for reading! -Margaret Estelle

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If you’re a regular Tarot user, you’ve likely thought, divined, channeled, or recorded statements like these:

The 6 of Pentacles means I need to be more generous.

The 4 of Swords is telling me to rest.

The 3 of Cups says to celebrate friendship.

What if 6, 4, and 3 aren’t just numerological archetypes? What happens when we treat them as invitations to seek countable nuance?

What are six ways that I can cultivate generosity this year?

What are four boundaries I can set to prioritize rest?

What are three kinds of activities I can schedule soon with friends?

Notice that, in each example, the number of clarifiers doesn’t feel overwhelming. The progression through each Minor Arcanum Suit, from Ace to 10, is a metaphor for the ways that new energies, factors, events, or people complicate or complement our lives. Just as beginning something (Aces) doesn’t ask us to come up with every possible scenario, discovering new ways of seeing (the mystical 7, perhaps?) doesn’t ask us to be reductive about our observations.

Number Card Clarifier Spread

Let’s get right into it!

Ingredients

• Tarot deck

  • While I prefer to work with decks that depict scenes on all of the cards, if unillustrated pips (numbered cards) are your jam, do your thing!

• Large, flat surface

• Optionally, writing implement and paper—no artistic skills required!

The Burning Question

What aspect of your life would you like clarification about? Here are some examples for inspiration:

• How can I renew intimacy with my partner(s)?

• What might be interesting to write about this summer?

• Where can I set firmer boundaries?

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The Anchor

This card functions like a significator, the card that some readers use to represent the querent (the person receiving the reading). In this spread, the anchor card signifies your question. It represents the whole shebang.

Choose a deck whose number cards you particularly like. You can either choose a specific card to work with (inductive reading) or pull a card at random (deductive reading a.k.a. sortilege).

Deductive Method

Separate the number cards out from the rest of the deck, shuffle thoroughly, then pick your card by flipping over the top card, swirling the cards around on a flat surface and seeing which card your cat steps on first, etc. Dogs are excellent intuitives as well!

Inductive Method

The following are powerful anchors to use with the sample questions mentioned earlier:

Renewed partner intimacy: 2 of Cups (getting freaky?) or 4 of Wands (…in your awesome house?)

Summer writing ideas: 3 of Wands (pen to paper, baby!) or 7 of Cups (so overwhelmed, but in a good way??)

Firmer boundaries: 6 of Swords (I’m leaving on a jet plane) or 8 of Cups (drop everything and head for safety)

Place your anchor card on your reading surface and look at it. Really study it. What visual cues or features stand out to you? Is there some detail that you’ve never noticed before? What color are the subject’s shoes? What do you imagine the weather feels like? Are figures in the background standing, sitting, walking, or running?

Make a sketch of the card if doing so feels right.

If a person or animal is prominently featured on the card, what do you notice about the position of their body, the look on their face, etc.?

Next, note the placement of the Wands, Cups, Swords, or Pentacles (or their equivalents, depending on the deck) around the featured person or animal. Are the Pentacles floating in a vertical line beside the person? Do the Wands overlap at a particular angle? This placement will be a visual guide for the remainder of your reading.

The Clarifiers

Shuffle the entire deck together (minus the anchor card) thoroughly. Pull the number of cards that corresponds with your anchor card’s number (e.g., if your anchor card is the 8 of Swords, pull eight cards) and lay them out to mimic the positions of the Wands, Cups, Swords, or Pentacles on the anchor card.

Let’s say you’re working with the 5 of Cups, which features a person standing in the middle of the card. Three Cups are knocked over on the left side of the image, and two Cups remain upright on the right side of the image:

Translating the positions of the robed person and their Cups into a spread, here’s your layout:

Notice that some of the card overlap. Does it feel like certain aspects of this reading are blocking each other or trying to crowd others out? For the first three clarifiers, since they represent toppled Cups, do they feel like they want to be read as reversals? Depending on the specific cards you pull, how does each image orient to the Anchor card? What does it seem like the Anchor is paying the most attention to? Which clarifiers feel neglected or overlooked?

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Here are some more examples of clarifying questions:

If your anchor card is the 4 of Wands: What are four communication strategies I can try right now to bring my partner(s) and me closer together?

For the 3 of Wands: What are three writing ideas that I feel really passionate about?

The 6 of Swords: What are six places in my life where I may not see yet that I can set better boundaries?

A Sample Reading: Summer Writing Ideas

For this sample reading, I’m working with a favorite deck, Chris-Anne’s Light Seer’s Tarot. I’ve chosen to do an inductive reading using the 7 of Cups as my anchor card:

Here’s what I want to know:

What seven writing ideas are bubbling to the surface right now? Do some ideas feel more fully formed than others?

After shuffling the rest of the deck together, here are my seven clarifier cards, all upright (no reversals):

1. 6 of Swords

2. 6 of Wands

3. The Lovers (Another 6! I’m sensing a theme here…)

4. Ace of Wands

5. The Hanged Man (12)

6. Judgement (20)

7. 5 of Wands

To place the cards, I’m mirroring the configuration of the cups in Chris-Anne’s 7 of Cups card:

Here is the resulting spread (minus the anchor card, which I struggled to fit into the digital image):

First Impressions

Since the focus of this spread seems to be positions 3 and 4 (the person on the anchor card gives these the most attention), the querent might be especially drawn to the Ace of Wands (Position 4; Fire element, Minor Arcanum card) and The Lovers (Position 3; Air element, Major Arcanum). The two people on the Lovers card are oblivious to everything else around them, which may explain why, of these two card energies, the querent is most drawn to the Ace of Wands, a figure that, in the Light Seer’s Tarot, is in a trance-like state.

Most of the scenes depicted in the cards I pulled for this reading are active: a race to the top (5 of Wands), a quiet escape (6 of Swords), a riveting performance (6 of Wands), an out-of-body experience (Judgement), the throes of passion (Lovers). Even the Hanged Man feels activated; the flexibility and core strength required to strike the pose depicted above requires a hell of a lot of energy! The Ace of Wands truly stands out as the sole depiction of stillness.

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Ratios and Numbers

Arcanum:

• 4 Minor Arcana (6 of Wands, 6 of Swords, 5 of Wands, Ace of Wands)

• 3 Major Arcana

The majority of Minor Arcana invites us to consider starting small. Our writing ideas are mostly about things in our control, things that come from our immediate experiences.

Elements:

• 4 Fire (Judgement, 6 of Wands, 5 of Wands, Ace of Wands)

• 2 Air (Lovers, 6 of Swords)

• 1 Water (Hanged Man)

• 0 Earth

This is a fiery reading! There is loads of passion, not only in Judgement and the Wands, but also inherent in The Lovers.

Numbers—The right arrow (“→”) means “reduces to,” as in “15 reduces to 6” (or 1 + 5 = 6).

• 20 → 2 (Judgement)

• 12 → 3 (Hanged Man)

• 6 (Lovers, 6 of Wands, 6 of Swords)

• 5 (5 of Wands)

• 1 (Ace of Wands)

This entire card set relates to the number 6:

• In their reduced forms, Judgement (2) times Hanged Man (3) equals 6.

• Multiple the Ace (1) of Wands by either Lovers (6), 6 of Wands, or 6 of Swords and you get 6.

• Ace (1) of Wands plus 5 of Wands equals 6.

Liz Dean (2019) writes that Six is the number of “harmony and passivity… two themes or ideas that work together productively… a sense of evolution and history” (p. 128). In The Secret of Numbers Revealed (2019), we learn that Six is the number of humanitarian work and social justice.

In Tarot, 6 is about survival, overcoming challenges, and walking toward something more meaningful and fulfilling. It’s also about remembering, not as a passive reflection but as an act of reclamation.

Seven Writing Ideas

Without further ado—and, let’s face it, there’s been a lot of ado!—here are seven writing ideas based on both the energies inherent in each card and the energies inherent in the interplay among the cards.

1. What If Recovery Isn’t Sobriety? (6 of Swords)

Crows pulling my boat forward, and crows behind me. Last year, I walked away from alcohol for good, or so I thought. Then I learned about harm reduction in my addiction studies program. Now I’m redefining my relationship with alcohol, a process that has helped me redefine my relationship with my body.

2. Why Does Being Seen Make Me Feel Fake? (6 of Wands)

I’ve gained lots of new subscribers recently, and I truly appreciate all of your encouraging comments and interaction. Sometimes I feel like my responses to kindness make me come across as phony. Why do I feel like saying “thank you” makes me seem like I’m humble bragging? There’s lots of weird shame and guilt to unpack here.

3. The Tension Between Insularity and Expansion (The Lovers)

How do we resolve the conflict between the security of home life and the need to be out in the larger world? Can a healthy relationship thrive both domestically and publicly? Where is the ideal balance in my own relationships?

4. Who Am I At My Core? (Ace of Wands)

Am I fully myself when I am with others? Am I only truly myself when I am alone? When I close my eyes as does the woman depicted on the Ace of Wands, who do I see myself as now? Who do I see myself becoming?

5. Another View of Judgment (The Hanged Man)

In this spread, a woman hangs upside down and faces Judgement—literally. What does she see? Does she recognize her own faults? Does she only see her flaws or does she also see her unique strengths? Does another view illuminate how she can bring her best self into the world?

6. Rising Above the Noise (Judgement)

The woman depicted on Judgement watches as five people race to the top in the Five of Wands. When all we see around us is competition, what steps must we take to conjure a sense of personal judgment about where we fit in the grand scheme of things?

7. Is It Better to Win or to Play Fair? (5 of Wands)

The top two competitors in the 5 of Wands reach up toward the Ace of Wands. Perhaps they know something the others don’t. Where can we redirect our competitive energies so that they yield something good?

Keep Reading

Neither of the work mentioned in this article are available through my bookshop, but there’re still plenty of Tarot and numerology books to be found! Check out this curated list of some of my personal favorites. As a Bookshop.org affiliate, The Secular Tarot Witch earns 10% of every purchase, and an additional 25% is profit-shared with independent bookstores.

Dean, Liz. (2019) Understanding Tarot: Discover the Tarot and find out what your cards really mean. CICO Books.

Yronwode, Catherine. (Ed.) (2019). The secret of numbers revealed: The magic power of numbers. Lucky Mojo Library of Occult Classics.

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Starting today, I’m offering all of my Tarot services for free! I’m not saying this will last forever; it just feels right for right now. I don’t need the money, and I want to divorce my Tarot practice from my finances.

Cartomantic Menu

• Standard card reading (video)

• Augmented card reading (PDF)

• Arithmantic reading (standard or augmented, plus numerological layer)

• Triangulated reading (a deck and another resource in conversation with each other)

That’s right—you can book any of these options for absolutely free!

What do I get out of this?

• I get to give back to our community;

• I gain more practice with new reading modalities;

• We both stand to gain a new friend!

To book a session with me, please send me an DM with some info about what you’re looking for in a reading. I can work with you to help you decide what type of reading will best help you gain clarity around your question.

While readings are free for all subscribers, if you’d like to make a contribution, please leave me a tip. All funds will fuel my Tarot deck and book purchases!

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Be well,

Margaret Estelle

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This post features a number of affiliate links to my Bookshop. Today is the last day of my Anti-Prime Sale—FREE shipping, most items priced below retail value, and 25% profit sharing with independent bookstores. Win-win!

Today’s post was inspired by a desire to pay tribute to both my favorite celestial orb and favorite Tarot card, THE MOON. What follows is a mixture of passages from the works of Tarot scholars and esoteric writers interspersed with some fun pop culture references. All featured Substack articles are hyperlinked so you can click/tap the image for the full article. I hope you enjoy!

“Many people believe that the phases of the moon have profound effects on human behavior, and historically the moon has been linked to madness and recklessness. In a creative context, this interpretation could be a prompt to get a bit weird and wild, to make creative choices that feel ‘crazy’ or mysterious, to let the light of the moon transform and shape-shift your heart.”

- , Tarot for Creativity: A Guide for Igniting Your Creative Practice (Chronicle Books, 2024)

LUNAR SUPERSTITIONS

• “The time of the full moon is said to bring about prophetic dreams, especially if you sleep in the moon’s rays.

• “It is said to be unlucky to point directly at the moon, but blowing her a kiss will bring good fortune your way.

• “Seeing the full moon swathed in mist is a sign of trouble to come, which can be alleviated by saying ‘Mother Moon in the mist, blink clear your eye and send no sorrow to my loved ones and I’.

• “Spotting the moon over your shoulder is bad luck. You should turn around and face the moon directly, giving her a nod, to turn the bad luck away.

• “Brushing your hair in moonlight is said to enhance your allure.”

  - Marie Bruce, Moon Magic: Lunar Spells to Attract an Enchanted Life (Arcturus, 2024)

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“The combination of formal religion and astrology continues to coexist in harmony for many Appalachian people. They have strong ties to a cosmology that guides numerous daily and seasonal activities. Old-time Appalachian Christians I have known find no contradiction in planting by the signs, planning by the moon, and faithfully attending church.”

- Gerald C. Milnes, Signs, Cures & Witchery: German Appalachian Folklore (University of Tennessee Press, 2007)

Kevin Malone’s perfect Valentine’s Day?

What describes above reminds me of the tension we see in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) between emotional mind and rational mind, the balance of which is called Wise Mind. Click/tap the quote above to experience Marcy’s journaling session!

Jimmy Stewart does youthful optimism. I love this scene!

“I like creating a sigil corresponding with the moon phase of my natal chart, a waning gibbous. If you’re connected to moon energy or work your magic by moon phases like Granny did when planting vegetables, this might be something you want to incorporate as well.”

- , Ancestral Tarot: Uncover Your Past and Chart Your Future (Weiser Books, 2021)

“This secretive moon is the gloomy wreckage of a long-dead planet, pummeled by fragments of space debris.

“It is little wonder the moon expresses a mixed character in the tarot tradition.”

- Matt Stansberry, Rust Belt Arcana: Tarot and Natural History in the Exurban Wilds (Belt Publishing, 2018)

Here’s an original Tarot spread “for the road”:

Margare Estelle’s Full Moon Proximal Tarot Spread

Shuffle a deck that contains a favorite Moon card. Turn over the cards, one by one, until you reach the Moon. The card immediately preceding the Moon is Position 1, the Moon is Position 2, and the card immediately following the Moon is Position 3.

1. What is the overall feeling of my last-minute preparations for the Buck Moon in Capricorn?

2. In what ways am I invited to enjoy the Moon’s fullness?

3. What lessons or revelations will I take with me as the Moon recedes once more?

Please ♡Heart♡, Restack, Comment, Subscribe, or Leave a Tip! No amount is too small, and every penny goes toward sustaining my Tarot offerings. —Margaret Estelle ♡♡♡

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• It’s the Summer Solstice here in the Northern Hemisphere

• The 78 Sponsors Support Community launches today at 4:30pm Eastern time

• I’m starting a new endeavor that I’m calling “Tarot Test Kitchen”

What is Tarot Test Kitchen?

Tarot Test Kitchen is a space for experimenting with Tarot spreads and rituals suggested by other Tarot readers. I’ll always link to the original spread and attribute the author. Please heart and restack the original posts I link to—our community depends on mutual support!

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Today’s Tarot Test Kitchen experiment is based on a 3-card Summer Solstice spread by . Here is Amy’s bio:

Therapist for overthinkers, perfectionists and quiet high-achievers who never feel like they're good enough 🌼 Helping you slow down, soften self-doubt & finally feel safe to be yourself.

This spread was published in 🍂 Slow & Seasonal (Hey Overthinker), where Amy writes about slowing down, saying no to the hustle, and learning “a kinder, effective way to live and work through slow and seasonal living.” So-called “talented and gifted” kids (IMO, a weird label that assumes other kids are neither talented nor gifted) will benefit from Amy’s invitation to resist the constant grind.

Without further ado, let’s head to the test kitchen!

Amy Thomas-Owen’s Summer Solstice Spread

1 Tarot deck

I’m using the only Thoth deck that I like, which happens to be my very favorite deck, Hannah Elizabeth Fofana’s The Field Tarot (you can pick up a slightly discounted, new copy of this deck in my bookshop; 10% of the sale feeds my cauldron, 75% is profit shared with independent bookstores, and 0% goes to Bezos).

Shuffling and cutting the deck is a deeply personal ritual. For this spread, I felt called to cut the deck into three piles. I placed the piles in this order: first, last, middle, then I turned up a card on top of each pile, reading the cards from left to right.

Well, this was unexpected! Three reversals, two Major Arcana. I’ve been working diligently to develop my Name-and-Key arithmancy system based on Pythagorean numerology, so let’s see what it reveals here.

Name-and-Key Arithmancy

Step One: Card Name Values

THE TOWER = T(2) + H(8) + E(5) + T(2) + O(6) + W(5) + E(5) + R(9) = 42, which reduces to 6.

SEVEN OF DISKS = S(1) + E(5) + V(4) + E(5) + N(5) + O(6) + F(6) + D(4) + I(9) + S(1) + K(2) + S(1) = 49, which reduces to 13 and then to 4.

DEATH = D(4) + E(5) + A(1) + T(2) + H(8) = 20, which reduces to 2.

Step Two: Card Keys

In an earlier post, I talked about how some Tarot scholars, notably Benebell Wen, refer to the numbers of the Major Arcana as Keys. We can combine Major Arcana card name values with Keys to “alchemize” deeper meanings.

The card name value of The Tower is 6, and its Key is XVI (16). 6 + 16 = 22, which reduces to 4.

In The Field Tarot, keywords complement each Minor Arcanum. The keyword on the Seven of Disks is Perseverance:

PERSEVERANCE = P(7) + E(5) + R(9) + S(1) + E(5) + V(4) + E(5) + R(9) + A(1) + N(5) + C(3) + E(5) = 59, which reduces to 14 and then to 5. When we add the base value of SEVEN OF DISKS (4) to the keyword value (5), we get 9.

The card name value of Death is 2, and its Key is XIII (13). 2 + 13 = 15, which reduces to 6.

What does all of this mean?

Good question! I’m still figuring that out. I think that, ultimately, Name-and-Key Arithmancy is simply a way to deduce the presence of additional patterns. In the case of our trio of reversals, here are my two cents, card by card, following Amy’s spread questions.

1. What can I feel proud of right now?

The Tower is known as the card of sudden destruction or upheaval. In reverse, perhaps this is not the case. When we alchemize “The Tower” with its Key, we get 4, the number of structure and stability, so maybe this means that, considering Amy’s first question, I can feel proud of the fact that I am still standing! In the time since the last Summer Solstice, I have faced some personally significant events that were sudden and beyond my control, and I have lived to tell the tale.

2. What pressures do I need to release?

On its own, “Seven of Disks” reduces to 4, but with the addition of our keyword, we come to the penultimate 9. This Disk (or Pentacle) is often regarded as the card of continuing to put in the work, but when I think of Amy’s call to us to abandon the daily grind in favor of slow living, the appearance of the Seven of Disks in reverse strengthens the invitation to take my foot off of the proverbial gas pedal. The “nine-ness” of my situation says that I’m almost there anyway, so going at a leisurely pace is not only healthier, but also won’t have a negative impact.

3. How can I honour where I am?

Death and The Tower are strange bedfellows! And, I know that I have nothing to fear. 6 is another Key alchemization that beautifully answers Amy’s question. 6 is both the survival of a test (we all know how challenging those Tarot 5s can be!) and the knowledge that I honor myself best by saying, “Hey, I did it!”

Additional Thoughts

In The Field Tarot, Death and the Seven of Disks have nearly identical background imagery. The idea that perseverance is somehow connected with death, at least on a visual level, is intriguing. I’ll have to ponder this connection more by looking at other decks.

The stormy nighttime scene in The Tower reminds me of a crazy wind storm we had a couple of days ago. A huge branch broke away from a tree in our backyard just minutes after I safely made it inside!

Maybe the Tower in reverse is symbolic of close calls. What do you think?

If you’ve come up with a unique Tarot spread or ritual that I should feature in Tarot Test Kitchen, please send me a message or comment below! I want to help our community grow through mutual support and dialogue that moves the Tarot forward and stretches our ideas about what a deck of cards can do for our world.

Please ♡Heart♡, Restack, Comment, Subscribe, or Leave a Tip! No amount is too small, and every penny goes toward sustaining my Tarot offerings. —Margaret Estelle ♡♡♡

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Ich habe deutsche Vorfahren beiderseits meiner Familie, nämlich meinem Vater: Breitenbach, Brandenburg, Vollmer, usw. Obwohl ich in keiner zweisprachigen Umwelt aufgewachsen bin, ist Deutsch meine zweite Sprache dadurch viele Jahren unabhängige Untersuchung sowie die immersive Plauderei. Absolut kein AI benutzt wurde, um diesen Beitrag zu schreiben.

I have German ancestors on both sides of my family, primarily my dad’s side: Breitenbach, Brandenburg, Vollmer, etc. Though I did not grow up in a bilingual environment, German is my second language as the result of many years of independent study and immersive conversation. Absolutely no AI was used to write this post.

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In Johann Wolfgang von Goethe’s masterwork, Faust, the eponymous character states in part:

„Nenn es dann, wie du willst,

Nenn's Glück! Herz! Liebe! Gott!

Ich habe keinen Namen

Dafür! Gefühl ist alles;

Name ist Schall und Rauch,“1

Whether you understand German or not, sounding out the text is its own sort of magic. The magic also works in translation. Here is my English-language rendering, for which I only consulted an idiomatic dictionary:

Call it what you will!

Call it luck! Courage! Love! God!

I have no name

for it! Feeling is everything;

What’s in a name?

So, let us consider Faust’s question!

Berechnungen / Calculations

Name-Based Arithmancy

In the first installment of this series on Name-Based arithmancy, I made a case for calculating each card’s Pythagorean numerological value from its name alone. One advantage of this approach is its simplicity. No matter the cartomantic system (e.g., Rider-Waite-Smith/RWS, Thoth, or Marseilles), the word “Strength” will, according to Wen’s table captioned above, always equal 3:

S (1) + T (2) + R (9) + E (5) + N (5) + G (7) + T (2) + H (8) = 39 → 12 → 3

Strength can feel a bit like juggling: 1, 2, 3, how long can you keep three pins in the air? Or bowling balls??

How about another example? The word “Death” always equals 2:

D (4) + E (5) + A (1) + T (2) + H (8) = 20 → 2

Death is one of those concepts that we tend to see a black and white. 1 or 2, dead or alive. But is it really so simple?

Name-and-Key Arithmancy

In this installment, I propose a more nuanced arithmancy, one which also takes into account each card’s numerical value (in the Major Arcana, what Benebell Wen and others call its Key). An advantage of this approach is that various Tarot systems will impact certain card values differently. We can perform a simple, additional calculation by adding a card’s Name-Based Arithmancy numeral to its Key value.

Let’s return to the Strength card. In RWS decks, Strength is Key 8, while in Thoth decks, Strength is Key 11:

STRENGTH (3) + RWS KEY (8) = 11 → 2

STRENGTH (3) + THOTH KEY (11) = 14 → 5

Depending on which Key we use to “unlock” the Strength card, we get two different numerological values.

Language provides yet more variation. In German, Strength is Kraft. Once again, we can use each Key to unlock two different values:

KRAFT (2) + RWS KEY (8) = 10 → 1

KRAFT (2) + THOTH KEY (11) = 13 → 4

So, looking at just one card, we now have four unique Name-and-Key combinations. And this example doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface! There are over 3,000 languages that use the Latin alphabet (the individual letters you’re reading right now) and close to 300 writing systems in the world. And the Marseilles Tarot uses completely different names for certain cards. The possibilities with Name-and-Key arithmancy are limitless.

Besondere Überlegungen / Special Considerations

The standard Pythagorean numerology table excludes special characters. In German, we have ä, ö, ü, and ß (eszett, or double-s), which we can substitute with ae, oe, ue, and ss.

To locate “ä” on our German numerology table below, we combine A (1) and E (5), which gives us 6. For “ö” we add O (6) and E (5), which gives us 11 → 2. Can perform the other two calculations in your head? Check your answers in the chart below:

Artikeln / Articles

Numerologically, there is no difference between the feminine “die” and masculine “der,” both of which reduce to 9 by way of some combination of 4, 5, and 9. Only the neutral “das” differs in its reduction to 6. All three of the three-letter articles reduce to numerals that are multiples of 3.

der D (4) + E (5) + R (9) = 18 → 9

die D (4) + I (9) + E (5) = 18 → 9

das D (4) + A (1) + S (1) = 6

The standard German-language Tarot is predominantly masculine. It contains 12 “der” cards, 8 “die” cards, and 2 “das” cards.

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Nummern / Numbers

For each card, I provide the German Card Name (and in parentheses, the arithmantic value prior to reduction, and the equivalent English Card Name). In each section, the cards are organized by arithmantic value prior to reduction, from highest to lowest, which may place the cards in an unexpected order. I prefer to organize numbers from highest to lowest, because this order always brings us back to one, back to something more familiar.

Next, I highlight noteworthy patterns. Finally, I use each card’s Key to unlock additional layers of meaning. In most cases, I make no distinction between RWS and Thoth Keys. The Tarot Keys presented here only differ in the cases of Strength (Key 8 or 11) and Justice (Key 11 or 8).

Neun / Nine

Nine is penultimate, the final action just before resolution, rest, or restart. We receive a pair in perfect balance, Der Gehängte (63, the Hanged Man) and Der Turm (36, the Tower). 63 and 36 are inverse values, which not only reduce to 9 individually, but also add up to 99 and further reduce to 9: 63 + 36 = 99 → 18 → 9. Suspension and destruction, pause and pandemonium. Nine and nine ad finitum.

By unlocking each “9” Arcanum with its respective Key, we break the spell (or perhaps cast a more powerful one):

DER GEHÄNGTE (9) + KEY (12) = 21 → 3

DER TURM (9) + KEY (16) = 25 → 7

Our Keys inserted, now Der Gehängte (3) plus Der Turm (7) make 10, the number immediately following 9, the number of finality, ceasing, completion, stillness. We neither hang in the balance nor fall from the burning rafters. The curse is broken.

Acht / Eight

Eight is the final push, doing the hard work, acting on the tough decision. Die Herrscherin (89, The Empress), Der Magier (53, The Magician), and Mäßigkeit (44, Temperance) are in motion. Our German Empress contains the energies of both 8 and 9, exertion and release, creation and birth. The Magician alchemizes 5 and 3, the potential energy of the Five Elements (Fire, Water, Air, Earth, and Spirit) which produces the kinetic energy of the number 3. Temperance combines like elements, 4 and 4, stasis and stasis, perhaps an exercise in futility.

Unlocking our cards produces three separate resolutions:

DIE HERRSCHERIN (8) + KEY (3) = 11 → 2

DER MAGIER (8) + KEY (1) = 9

MÄßIGKEIT (8) + KEY (14) = 22 → 4

Die Herrscherin, post-creation and post-birth, finds herself back at 2. One and one is anything but lonely, and the stirrings of 2 are never far from her natural “3” state of being. Der Magier has cast their spell, and a result of 9 indicates resounding success. Temperance continues its futile search for perfect balance. Instead of mixing the stagnant Fours, she cuts the weight in half. 2 and 2 is much lighter, and she is able to see that what needs balance in her life is her connections with others. 2 plus 2 equals Self plus Friend, or Self plus Child, perhaps even Self plus Self.

Sieben / Seven

Seven is the mystical number, the inner quest, the search for that which is beyond and within the Self. Name-Based arithmancy reveals two pairs of cards, Die Hohepriesterin (106, The High Priestess) and Die Liebenden (61, The Lovers), and Der Eremit (52, The Hermit) and Gericht (43, Judgement). The High Priestess (106) and The Lovers (61) are a near-inverse pair. What might that Zero signify? Is our High Priestess holding space for the Divine, maybe even The Fool (Key 0)? Connection with others on any level, whether it be spiritual, sexual, or romantic, is the Divine. To embody The Lovers is to embody the Higher Self.

On the Hermit’s quest for knowledge, he begins with a challenge (5) and ends with a unity of ideas (2). Along the path, he exercises Judgement (43). 5, 4, 3, and 2. He does the inner work.

By unlocking our Major Arcana pairs, the Tarot Keys offer a mixture of resolution, stability, and the never-ending search for truth.

DIE HOHEPRIESTERIN (7) + KEY (2) = 9

DIE LIEBENDEN (7) + KEY (6) = 13 → 4

DER EREMIT (7) + KEY (9) = 16 → 7

GERICHT (7) + KEY (20) = 27 → 9

The High Priestess attains enlightenment, or something close to it, as she reaches the highest numeral, 9. This attainment sustains The Lovers, who finds themselves in a place of long-lasting connection (4). The Hermit, who has plumbed the depths and heights of the Universe as he reached the limits (9) of his own, human Judgement, has expanded his sense of right and wrong, and in so doing, discovered that life remains a mystery (the mystical 7). Perhaps true enlightenment is knowing that you cannot know, and answering questions with bigger questions.

Sechs / Six

Der Hierophant (78, The Hierophant), der Teufel (42, The Devil), der Narr (42, The Fool), and die Welt (33, The World). The German Hierophant’s Pythagorean numeral is equal to the number of cards in a Tarot deck: 78. In a German-language deck, he is our ultimate guide.

The Devil and The Fool share the Pythagorean numeral 42, which is, according to Douglas Adams, the Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, The Universe, and Everything. While Adams’ comic science fiction writing postdates the Rider-Waite-Smith Tarot by about 70 years, I think the archetypical Devil and Fool (neither of whom takes themselves all that seriously) would feel “prefectly” at home in A Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

The number 33, when the first digit is inverted (Ɛ3) and both numerals are rotated ninety degrees, reminds me of a world map I came across recently that incorporates and minimizes numerous distortions present in earlier map projections of the globe. The World as 33 is much waterier than the classroom maps we grew up with, and a bisected African continent takes center stage.

Unlocking our Keys separates The Hierophant from the other three cards. 2, 3, 6, 9; one of these is not like the other.

DER HIEROPHANT (6) + KEY (5) = 11 → 2

DER TEUFEL (6) + KEY (15) = 21 → 3

DER NARR (6) + KEY (0) = 6

DIE WELT (6) + KEY (21) = 27 → 9

The Hierophant as One-and-One is our private tour guide through the wisdom of the 78 cards. Three and Six are lower vibrations of Nine. The Fool (6) finds herself halfway between The Devil (3) and The World (9). If we’re being literal, the halfway point between the Keys of The Devil (15) and The World (21) is The Moon (18). What does The Fool see when she and her guide, The Hierophant, look up at the night sky?

The Fool’s Key Zero on its own has no effect. Maybe it’s just a toy. As der Narr (German), Le Mat (French), and Narri (Finnish), she remains a Six. As The Fool (English), she is Nine. Who is she in another language you know?

Fünf / Five

Der Wagen (41, The Chariot) rides alone in this system. 4 (or two) wheels plus 1 driver. As a Water element card, we see Der Wagen as someone facing an emotional challenge head on. They may feel afraid, broken, all but defeated, and yet they ride on.

Unlocking der Wagen with Key 7, our sense that this card is in motion is confirmed.

DER WAGEN (5) + KEY (7) = 12 → 3

As a Three, our Chariot may be at the start of their journey. They’ve made a plan: one. They’ve gathered their supplies and checked their engine: two. They’re off in search of answers: three.

Vier / Four

The Name-Based system reveals a pair a celestial Fours: Die Sonne (40, The Sun) and Der Stern (40, The Star). Both heavenly bodies arrive at Four by way of 4 plus 0, structure and void, the seemingly fixed positions of the stars and the nothingness that surrounds them.

When we unlock our stars, what is revealed to us is difficult news or information and the impetus to do something about it.

DIE SONNE (4) + KEY (19) = 23 → 5

DER STERN (4) + KEY (17) = 21 → 3

The Sun shines light where we do not wish to see. Five is a challenge, a test, a mountain that either wasn’t there before or that we somehow didn’t see. As a Three, The Star invites us into radical hope, the notion that we can both grieve and fight, gather and speak, hope and plan and make change.

Drei / Three

Der Herrscher (75, The Emperor) and Tod (12, Death), the reign of the king followed by his demise. What lessons are hidden in this pair of Threes?

Unlocking our king and his casket transmutes both into Sevens. A mystical message awaits.

DER HERRSCHER (3) + KEY (4) = 7

TOD (3) + KEY (13) = 16 → 7

As a ruler in the Spirit/Seven realm, the king becomes the Higher Self, the Divine, the God/dess, the Universe. His death becomes the death of our previous notions of Deity. Does this Major Arcana pair, transformed by Name-and-Key arithmancy, remind you of a time that you questioned the nature of existence?

Zwei / Two

We have reached our penultimate number, Two. Rad des Schicksals (56, The Wheel of Fortune) and Kraft (20, Strength) appear. The Wheel is Five and Six, test and survival. Strength is Two and Zero, strong bond and nothing else required. To say that Strength powers the Wheel is perhaps too simplistic. Maybe it’s that our own strength is what allows us to endure the machinations of the wheel of life.

The Strength card has different Keys, depending on the deck used. In RWS decks, Strength is Key 8, while in Thoth decks it is Key 11.

When we unlock our RWS Twos, we find a wheel in motion and a primordial force.

RAD DES SCHICKSALS (2) + KEY (10) = 12 → 3

DIE KRAFT (2) + RWS KEY (8) = 10 → 1

Three is what Liz Dean calls “one, two, three, go!” Our wheel turns without ceasing. As a One, Strength comes from within and nowhere else. We are more powerful than we think.

In Thoth decks, the Wheel turn as above, while Strength feels supported.

RAD DES SCHICKSALS (2) + KEY (10) = 12 → 3

DIE KRAFT (2) + THOTH KEY (11) = 13 → 4

Four is foundation, fortress. It’s building something that protects you from whatever The Wheel decides to throw your way. It’s safety and security.

Eins / One

We began our story with inverse pair Der Gehängte (63, the Hanged Man) and Der Turm (36, the Tower), which, when unlocked using our Keys, transformed into Der Gehängte (3) and Der Turm (7).

Now we end our exploration of German Name-Based and Name-and-Key arithmancy with another inverse pair who start as 3 and 7: Gerechtigkeit (73, Justice) and der Mond (37, The Moon).

Whereas Hanged and The Tower (as Nines) represented suspense and destruction, Justice and The Moon (as Ones) are the first whispers of something intuitive and good. I believe that most people are good, and Justice is humanity coming back to center.

Like the Strength card, Justice also has different Keys, depending on the deck used. In RWS decks, Justice is Key 11. In Thoth decks it is Key 8.

Unlocking our cards with RWS Keys, The Moon retains its intuitive whispers while Justice takes an early step toward equity.

GERECHTIGKEIT (1) + RWS KEY (11) = 12 → 3

DER MOND (1) + RWS KEY (18) = 19 → 10 → 1

Unlocking our cards with Thoth Keys, the Moon’s intuitive whispers are carried along the powerful waves of Justice’s Key 8, which brings us much closer to our goals.

GERECHTIGKEIT (1) + RWS KEY (8) = 9

DER MOND (1) + RWS KEY (18) = 19 → 10 → 1

As a Nine, Justice is nigh, not only for ourselves, but also our communities. The Moon’s whispers, as a One, encourage us to hope and dream and create things that are unexpected and kind and just.

Abschließend / In Conclusion

Unlike long-established cartomantic and arithmantic systems dreamed up by the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn, the Theosophical Society, and others who sought overarching numerical order within the Tarot, Name-Based and Name-and-Key arithmancy are only concerned with interpreting what is immediately in front of the reader. Where no pattern is present, no adjustments, such as the Strength-Justice Key switch discussed above, are made. These new arithmantic systems tell stories, some of which contain just one or two characters. In future installments, I plan to write about a Finnish-language Thoth deck, a French Marseilles deck, and my favorite deck of all time, The Field Tarot, a Thoth-based deck that features unique names such as Perspective in place of The Hanged Man.

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Using a Pythagorean numerology calculator, I’ve determined the numerological value of the name printed on each Major Arcana card:

Example: THE FOOL

T (2) + H (8) + E (5) + F (6) + O (6) + O (6) + L (3) = 36

3 + 6 = 9

I’m comparing the Original Rider-Waite-Smith (hereafter, RWS), arguably the most impactful cartomantic tool in the world, and Nicolas Conver’s Tarot de Marseilles (TdM), a French-language deck that more and more readers are exploring today. All French card names appear in italics (with the corresponding English name in parentheses).

Of special consideration is the article—in English, “the,” or French, le, la, or l’—that precedes most card names. These seemingly insignificant words play an equal role in determining which number each card corresponds with. On its own, “the” adds up to 15, which reduces to 6 (1 + 5 = 6), but this reduction is only part of the total picture. Let’s dive in, shall we?

The Nines

72 = 7 + 2 = 9: La Roue De Fortune (The Wheel of Fortune)

54 = 5 + 4 = 9: The Magician

45 = 4 + 5 = 9: L’Hermite (The Hermit)

36 = 3 + 6 = 9: Judgement, The Moon, and The Fool

In traditional Tarot arithmancy, we know the Nines as The Hermit (9) and The Moon (18, which reduces to 9). In our name-based system, however, the RWS Moon and the TdM Hermit (but not the RWS Hermit) reduce to 9. Additionally, the RWS Magician and TdM Hermit reduce to 9 from inverse combinations of the numerals 4 and 5 (the Magician’s adage “as above, so below” comes to mind!).

The value of all four RWS Nines reduces to 9 (9 x 4 = 36 ; 3 + 6 = 9). Cool! The value of the two TdM Nines also reduces to 9 (9 x 2 = 18 ; 1 + 8 = 9). Mind blown!!

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The Eights

89 = 8 + 9 = 17 = 1 + 7 = 8: The Wheel of Fortune

53 = 5 + 3 = 8: The Chariot

35 = 3 + 5 = 8: Le Soleil (The Sun)

Traditional Tarot arithmancy tells us that Strength (or, in Thoth-based decks such as TdM, Justice) and The Tower (16) are 8s. In our name-based arithmantic system, three different cards show up as Eights, and they all contain circular and/or wheel-based imagery.

The Sevens

52 = 5 + 2 = 7: The Hermit

43 = 4 + 3 = 7: The Lovers

In traditional Tarot systems, our sevens are The Chariot (7) and The Tower (16, which reduces to 7). By contrast, the name-based system gives us the RWS Hermit and Lovers.

The Sixes

87 = 8 + 7 = 15 = 1 + 5 = 6: The High Priestess

60 = 6 + 0 = 6: The Emperor

51 = 5 + 1 = 6: La Maison Dieu (The Tower)

42 = 4 + 2 = 6: The World and The Tower

33 = 3 + 3 = 6: L’Étoile (The Star) and La Force (Strength)

24 = 2 + 4 = 6: The Sun and Justice

15 = 1 + 5 = 6: Le Mat (The Fool)

While Tarot-based arithmancy tells us that our sixes are The Lovers (6) and The Devil (15, which reduces to 6), the name-based system reveals a much larger cast of characters, including The Tower in both decks. Our four TdM cards reduce to 6 (6 x 4 = 24 ; 2 + 4 = 6), further reinforcing the potency of the number 6.

The Fives

50 = 5 + 0 = 5: L’Empereur (The Emperor)

32 = 3 + 2 = 5: Le Monde (The World), Le Diable (The Devil), and Le Pendu (The Hanged Man)

In traditional Tarot-based arithmancy, we know the fives as The Hierophant (5) and Temperance (14). Named-based arithmancy gives us four TdM cards and no RWS cards.

The Fours

40 = 4 + 0 = 4: The Devil; Le Jugement (Judgement) and L’Amoureux (The Lovers)

31 = 3 + 1 = 4: La Papesse (The High Priestess)

Traditionally, the Major Arcana Fours include The Emperor (4) and Death (13). One could even argue that The Fool (0) is a four of sorts—if this card is read as the final, 22nd Major Arcanum (22 reduces to 4).

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The Threes

75 = 7 + 5 = 12 ; 1 + 2 = 3: The Hierophant

66 = 6 + 6 = 12 ; 1 + 2 = 3: L’Impératrice (The Empress)

39 = 3 + 9 = 12 ; 1 + 2 = 3: Strength

Traditional Tarot arithmancy indicates that our threes are The Empress (3), The Hanged Man (12), and The World (21). The TdM Empress is also a 3 in the name-based arithmantic system. The pair of RWS cards reduces to 6 (3 x 2 = 6), which is a higher vibration of 3.

The Twos

47 = 4 + 7 = 11 ; 1 + 1 = 2: The Empress

38 = 3 + 8 = 11 ; 1 + 1 = 2: Le Bateleur (The Magician)

20 = 2 + 0 = 2: Death; La Lune (The Moon)

Our traditional Tarot Twos include The High Priestess (2), Justice (11, or Strength if you are using a Thoth-based deck), and Judgement (20). Our name-based system associates 2 with The High Priestess’ earthly counterpart, The Empress. The pair of RWS cards reduces to 4 (2 x 2 = 4). The TdM pair yields the same result. In both cases, 4 is a higher vibration of 2.

The Ones

55 = 5 + 5 = 10 ; 1 + 0 = 1: The Hanged Man

46 = 4 + 6 = 10 ; 1 + 0 = 1: Temperance; Tempérance (Temperance) and Le Chariot (The Chariot)

28 = 2 + 8 = 10 ; 1 + 0 = 1: The Star; La Justice (Justice) and Le Pape (The Hierophant)

Our traditional Tarot Ones include The Magician (1) and The Wheel of Fortune (10). In the name-based arithmantic system, we get two of the “virtue” cards (RWS Temperance and TdM Justice). Of note is that Temperance is the only Major Arcanum that reduces to the same number in both decks.

Other Considerations

In Convers’ Marseilles deck, the Death card has no name and thus does not correspond with a number.

Any deck can have an overall numerological “vibe.” If you combine and reduce the numerological values corresponding with every Major Arcanum in the RWS deck, you get 2 (1,028 = 1 + 0 + 2 + 8 = 11 ; 1 + 1 = 2). Performing the same arithmantic calculation with the TdM, you get 3 (813 = 8 + 1 + 3 = 12 ; 1 + 2 = 3).

Buy These Decks

The Smith-Waite Centennial Tarot Deck is available below retail price at my bookshop. I get about 10% of the sale, and another portion of the sale is distributed to independent bookstores. Bezos doesn’t get so much as a single penny.

You can get Marseille Vintage Tarot (Anna Maria Morsucci and Mattio Ottolini) from my favorite indie publishing house, Microcosm Publishing.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this post! While I strive for accuracy in my arithmantic/numerological data, human error is a real possibility. Please let me know if you catch any inaccuracies.

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This morning an essay about AI caught my eye, not because it was about the technology itself, but because it was about AI’s impact on our very sense of self:

The essay, written by (Pack Light Live Full), rocked me to my core, and I thought: There’s a Tarot reading in here.

Toward the end of her essay is a section titled “How to unhook your worth from your resume” which considers five sets of questions or ideas to mull over. It’s worth sharing this section in its entirety (numbering added for clarity):

1. Question your status hierarchies
   What assumptions about "good jobs" versus "bad jobs" have you internalized? Where did those beliefs come from? Challenge your own biases about professional prestige. Ask yourself honestly: if your current role lost its social status but kept its pay, would you still want it?

2. Identify peak experiences outside work
   When have you felt most alive, most yourself, most in flow—completely separate from your professional achievements? These moments hold clues to your identity beyond your job title.

3. Invest in relationships that have nothing to do with your career
   Not networking contacts or industry friends, but connections based on shared values, interests, or simple enjoyment of each other's company.

4. Develop skills for their own sake, not their marketability
   Learn something purely because it fascinates you or brings you joy, with no thought to how it might advance your career.

5. Practice introducing yourself without mentioning your job
   This simple exercise can be surprisingly revealing—and uncomfortable. If you can't easily describe yourself without referencing your professional role, that's valuable information.

In the Cards

What follows is my attempt to map Carmen’s five conceptual areas to a five-card Tarot spread.

1. PRESTIGE: What are my feelings around the concept of prestige in a career?

2. PRESENCE: What is an area of my life, unrelated to work, that makes me feel truly present?

3. CONNECTION: Thinking of a friend who doesn’t work in the same field as me, what is something I enjoy about our connection?

4. JOY: What is an activity that brings me joy without the need for compensation or validation?

5. SELF: If I couldn’t talk about my job, what would I tell people about myself?

Here are the cards I drew:

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Big Themes

Using a variety of pattern identification methods, I see a lot of difficulty and stress in this reading.

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Card by Card

PRESTIGE: Queen of Cups reversed

In order to stay focused on my career, I have made a lot of sacrifices, many of them at the expense of my happiness. I used to think that, in order to be successful, you had to give up as much of your free time as possible. I thought the only way to make any headway in a career was to say yes to every opportunity, even when it meant barely sleeping, seeing my family, or having the time to rest or play.

PRESENCE: Empress reversed

I am fundamentally uncomfortable with this Empress card. I do not have children and never wanted them, and so the idea that the Empress is “pregnant” does not resonate with me. I have often felt inadequate because I was also taught, in school and elsewhere, that of course women want children. This image reminds me that the things other people find joy in are not a part of my life (mainstream religion, living in the suburbs, working the same job my entire career, having kids) nor do they have to be.

I used to find joy in making music. When gigging became synonymous with feeling like every venue wanted to underpay me, I became fundamentally unhappy. I haven’t played music consistently in several years. I am keenly aware that I don’t remember how to do things just for fun.

CONNECTION: 10 of Wands

This card coming up in this exact position in this exact reading is deeply personal for me. I recently did a reading for my best friend, and when the 10 of Wands—from the same deck, no less—came up, she cried. I will keep the subject of her reading private; what I will share is that the experience of reading for her brought us closer. She is truly my anchor ♡♡♡

JOY: Ace of Pentacles

Making things with my hands is something I struggle with, in large part because of a repetitive stress injury followed by phone addiction. Making something without a greater “purpose” in mind is difficult for me to imagine. This card is challenging me to dig into my past to find times that I used my hands for activities unrelated to work or school. When I was little, I loved digging in the garden for rocks, coins, anything except for grubs! I need to go trilobite hunting soon (this is a real thing in my county).

SELF: Seven of Pentacles reversed

I can’t give up on myself. There is so much living to do! Easier said than done, that’s for sure. All I can do is give it my best shot, at least on the days that depression doesn’t eat me alive.

Final Thoughts

I hope you enjoyed this attempt at mapping some big career and values questions to a five-card spread. Thanks in large part to , I’m incorporating a lot more numerology into my work now.

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- Margaret Estelle, The Secular Tarot Witch

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I’ve always felt a magnetic pull toward the stories of historical women living in the margins of society. Historians don’t always have ample evidence to base our theories on, which is where esoteric research methods come in. Where we are unable to reach data-driven conclusions, we can use numerology, Tarot, astrology, and more to ask new questions.

In addition to my work as a librarian, I also have formal training in historical methods. You can check out my master’s thesis on the travels and secret courtship of a mid-19th-century noblewoman named Marie von Bonin for free here.

For this flagship essay in my new Esoteric Research Methods series, it is my absolute honor to introduce you to a working-class Cornish woman named Anna Maria “Pinkey” Merrin.

Early Life

Anna Maria Merrin was born in about 1840 to Elizabeth and Richard Merrin (a stay-at-home mother and a copper miner, respectively) in the parish village of Redruth in Cornwall, England. The Merrins lived on Basset Road just north of the village. Anna Maria was born into a large family:

1. Thomas Merrin, c. 1826-

2. Elizabeth Merrin, c. 1828-

3. James Merrin, c. 1830-

4. Mary Merrin, c. 1831-

5. Jane Merrin, c. 1834-

6. Hannah Merrin, c. 1836-

7. Anna Maria Merrin, c. 1840-

8. Henry Merrin (baptized January 4, 1863)

Anna Maria was officially the seventh of eight children, though vital records suggest additional, illegitimate siblings. There is Eliza Merrin, baptized the daughter of Elizabeth Merrin on May 23, 1824, in the Redruth workhouse (a handwritten note referred to Eliza as "a natural child," meaning one born out of wedlock).1 And we have Matthew Merrin, baptized the son of Elizabeth Merrin in Redruth on August 23, 1829 (a note confirms that he was also illegitimate).

In 1851, while 12-year-old Anna Maria was still in school, her 23-year-old sister, Elizabeth, worked in a copper mine with their father. Her other sisters, 20-year-old Mary, 17-year-old Jane, and 15-year-old Hannah, worked at a nearby tin stamping mill. It was not unusual for teenage girls to work. And, few of Anna Maria’s neighbors attended school past the age of twelve. For instance, 13-year-old Ann Penrose worked in the copper mines. Schooling started as young as four or sometimes three, while only a handful of children were in school as old as 14 or 15.2 Anna Maria most likely attended Mrs. J. P. Magor’s “school for poor girls,” the sole option for Redruth’s poorest girls at the time. At Magor’s, she would have learned not only reading, writing, and arithmetic, but also Biblical scripture and sewing skills.

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A Lengthy Record

Between the spring of 1855 and the autumn of 1865 or 1866, “Pinkey,” as she was known in nearby Truro, spent more than two years in a prison called Bodmin Gaol (“jail”). During that time, she was sentenced to more than 700 days of “hard labour,” most often washing but on occasion oakum picking.

Historian Suzie Lennox assures us that oakum picking was one of the worst jobs you could be assigned in a Victorian prison. You were made to sit in silence, and a length of coarse, worn ship rope, about two feet in length, was placed at your feet. There would be remnants of tar, and you’d be forced to “pick” out the strands of clean fiber so they could be sold back to shipyards and reused. This arduous task lasted up to 12 hours each day, and adults and even children who were forced to do this work often had bloody fingers before the job was even half over.

What exactly had Pinkey done wrong? Police charge books almost always labeled her a “common prostitute,” a term introduced into English law via the Vagrancy Act of 1824. Prostitution was criminalized and carried a sentence of up to one month of hard labor. You didn’t even have to be “caught in the act,” so to speak. Section 28 of the Town Police Clauses Act of 1847 made it illegal for accused prostitutes even to assemble in public places. On multiple occasions, Pinkey was picked up for nothing more than “wandering and behaving in a riotous and disorderly manner.”

Jail records tell us great detail about Pinkey’s physical appearance, behavior, and education. She could not, at least according to these records, read or write, which, if true, means she either did poorly at Magor’s or dropped out. An esquire who processed one of Pinkey’s several arrivals at Bodmin (this one on April 21, 1856), noted that she “misbehaved” upon arrival and then again in her cell. She had “hazel eyes, brown hair, fresh complexion, [and a] round visage… Scar over right eyebrow, on right elbow & 2 on forehead.” She was “stout made” and “slightly pockmarked.” She had a flat nose, a scald mark on the back of her left hand, scars on her forehead, neck, and right thumb.

Most intriguing was a mysterious tattoo: the letters “S J S” marked the skin below Pinkey’s right elbow. Later arrest records, starting in 1858, note the letters “J P” below that, separated by a dot:

The tattoo is described consistently in sixteen separate jail records, leaving little doubt about its general appearance. But what—or whom—do these letters symbolize? Were S J S and J P lovers, clients, or perhaps other sex workers who became friends? Were they a reminder of something lovely or something sinister? I’ve scoured hundreds of pages of vital records looking for an S J S or J P and, so far, have had no luck.

Making Our Sources Count

We can apply Pythagorean numerology to ask, who might be behind these initials? In this section, I rely heavily on the research of noted Tarot scholar Benebell Wen, who has also written extensively about numerology.

Who was S J S?

Our numerical substitutions, based on the Pythagorean numerology table above, are S = 1 and J = 1.

S + J + S = 1 + 1 + 1

Wen writes that specific sets of human characteristics are associated with each letter. The letter S indicates “Spiritual roots often expressed in unorthodox ways. Independent. Audacious,” while J means “Leader, but tends to be more cautious than ‘A’. Industrious. Dependable.”

With two instances of the letter S, this person may have been deemed a spiritual fanatic. Perhaps they were someone who was rejected by the Catholic church for practices or beliefs labeled as heresy. They may even have thought of themselves as Christian; 1 + 1 + 1 is a mathematical expression for the Holy Trinity of Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.

1 + 1 + 1 = 3

In the Tarot, the number 3 is the Empress and the Minor Threes. 3, which Liz Dean characterizes as “one, two, three, go!” indicates a period of creation or taking action. No matter their biological makeup, S J S might have had children of their own or stepped in to nurture other people’s children. What if they were someone who cared for the illegitimate children of working women? Or maybe they were someone who conjured or channeled their own unique belief system and got themselves into trouble when they shared it with the wrong crowd.

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Who was J P?

J + P = 1 + 7

Turning once more to Benebell Wen, J, again, is a “Leader, but tends to be more cautious… Industrious. Dependable.” P is “Introspective. Introverted. Great depths of perception.”

J P may have been someone who assessed a situation or energy before acting. Perhaps they were a close friend or lover who tried, and sometimes failed, to keep Pinkey and others from getting arrested. They weren’t necessarily a martyr who offered themselves up to the authorities in her place. Maybe they were someone who knew when the police were on their way and would warn Pinkey and her friends to lay low for a while.

1 + 7 = 8

In Tarot, 8 is the number of Strength and the Minor Eights. The Minor Eights are unique to the number cards of the Tarot in that they indicate a period of movement rather than arrival or stillness. While Wen’s descriptions of the letters J and P don’t exactly scream “active,” I would argue that J P had the quality of vigilance, which requires heightened energy and attention. J P may have been someone who was on guard at all times. Maybe they survived repeated childhood traumas or witnessed a singular traumatizing event that forever changed them.

Who was Anna Maria Merrin?

Because her given and surname are spelled inconsistently across various written records, it makes the best sense to use the same initial-based approach that I applied to S J S and J P. Using her given initials, A M M, we get the formula:

A + M + M = 1 + 4 + 4

Wen writes that A is a “Born leader. Assertive. Confident. Motivated. Independent thinker,” while M is the “Keeper of the home and hearth. Protective nature. Protective over family and friends.” The double energy of M suggests that Anna Maria was the protector of other women who worked in the sex trade. Her leadership qualities, combined with a fiercely loyal spirit, say that she may have been the one to martyr herself to protect other women who were also accused of breaking the law.

1 + 4 + 4 = 9

In the Tarot, 9 is the Hermit and the numerical embodiment of arrival, finishing touches, and final hurrahs. Nine is the moment just before mastery, the heightened concentration required to survive a particularly difficult challenge or earn the distinction of “expert.”

I wonder if, because Anna Maria was still in school around 12 years old, there was pressure put on her to exceed expectations for women and girls in her family? Maybe she hated school and couldn’t wait to escape to life in any place larger than a village. When she got to Truro, I wonder if Anna Maria felt like a little fish in a big pond? Did she internalize the pressure to “succeed”? Did she experience a moment (or several moments) of failure that led her to believe that sex work was her best option?

Who was Pinkey?

Because Pinkey is spelled consistently in all records in which it appears, and because this is a name that she chose for herself, I’ll end with a deeper look at who Anna Maria Merrin was during the decade of her life in Truro.

P + I + N + K + E + Y = 7 + 9 + 5 + 2 + 5 + 7

From Benebell Wen:

P: “Introspective. Introverted. Great depths of perception.”

I: “Sensitive. Intuitive. Emotional. Deeply perceptive of others and surrounding.”

N: “Always seeking excitement and variety. Spontaneous. Tendency to be too proud.”

K: “High potential for achievement. Inspires others. Powerful. Warrior spirit.”

E: “Versatile and inspirational. Interested in spiritual matters. Energetic. Motivated. Noble.”

Y: “Committed to uncovering mysteries and the hidden to bring understanding.”

As Pinkey, I sense that Anna Maria was an “ambivert,” someone who was equal parts passive and active energies. She was larger than life, in love with learning (on her own terms, not the Magor school’s), an HSP (highly sensitive person), and someone who deeply and profoundly believed in justice.

7 + 9 + 5 + 2 + 5 + 7 = 35

3 + 5 = 8

I have already discussed some of the qualities of the Tarot 8s in my analysis of J P above. I will add that, while it seems that J P may have been someone who lived and died by “fight or flight” mode (perhaps they were too vigilant), Pinkey’s strength and sense of movement came from her ability to thrive amid constant change. Each time she was arrested (a total of 23 times by my count), she was plucked from her familiar environment. She only played along as much as was necessary. Each time she gave her age to the person in change of intake at Bodmin, she aged herself up or down to suit her unknown-to-us purposes. She may not have been able to read or write, but she was no fool. She knew how to act in order to get released on time, sometimes even getting out early for “good behavior.” If I had to describe Pinkey in one word, I would call her adaptable.

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Keep Reading

Cornwall OPC. (n.d.). Murren, Ann Maria, in Institution inmates [database search]. https://www.cornwall-opc-database.org/extra-searches/institution-inmates/

Vagrancy Act. (1824, June 21). https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/Geo4/5/83/contents/enacted

Then I moved to a much larger city and met so many wonderful queer people. I have never for even a second wondered whether trans* (the asterisk denotes the expansiveness of transness) people are who they say they are. Trans* women are women, trans* men are men, nonbinary people are valid. Period.

When I returned to Tarot in 2020, I was in the midst of questioning my gender. Sharing this so publicly is… oof.

I spent 18 months living wholly differently. I wore binders, stopped shaving my underarms (still don’t, because gender norms can die in a fire), and worked with a personal trainer. Physically I had never felt better, but mentally I was in record levels of distress. It look several months of therapy, DBT mindfulness practices, and learning to be present again to discover on my own that I had been dissociating.

Two things are true. I am not trans*. And, trans* people exist and are beautiful.

My therapist specializes in affirming care for people in the queer community. I don’t have to hide or edit any part of myself, including that I am a polyromantic person with two partners. My therapist never pushes me toward any belief or conclusion about myself. Being her client is a ton of work, and it’s worth every moment. My cis-ness in no way erases anyone else’s experience of gender, and as I enter my second month of total sobriety, I have never felt more comfortable with myself. It is my sincere hope that all people reading this believe the same. People are who they say they are.

*Steps down from soapbox about loving yourself and others* The deck that led me back to my self was Hannah Elizabeth Fofana’s The Field Tarot. It is no coincidence that the cover image for her groundbreaking (IMO) deck is her take on the Hanged Man, which she has renamed Perspective:

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I love so many aspects of this image: its symmetry, grounding, celestiality, and open space. What is obviously missing is a human embodiment of Hanged, which we see in Pamela Colman Smith’s classic interpretation:

Is one version of Hanged better than the other? Nope. They’re simply proof that Tarot is multifaceted and layered. Hanged can be gendered, genderless, human, celestial, floral, and any other descriptor your mind can conjure! Hanged can feel stuck, jolted out of stagnancy, in-between, drowning, or like quite literally dying. I am confident you will enjoy the amazing Substackers whose writing I have handpicked to share with you this week.

Hanged as Do-Nothing

This week I stumbled upon an absolute gem from (Ayame Strothers):

Ayame あやめ (pronounced eye-yah-may) isn’t afraid of the Swords or Death. And it turns out Ayame isn’t afraid of Hanged either. Ayame reminds us that pausing, whether by choice or by force, is medicinal. When we stop to feel, we have an authentic opportunity to heal.

When I first stopped binding because of rib pain, it took a while for me to see that it wasn’t something that I needed any longer. Binding, which is literally life saving for so many trans* people, was an 8 of Swords practice for me. I was unconsciously trapping myself in a dissociative state. Once I stopped, I started to feel like I could breathe again, both physically and emotionally.

Ayame’s writing reinforces my belief that Hanged is an honorary Four. The figure’s proper left leg creates a mirror image of a “4” and the act of suspension is one of rest, stability, and reflection, all aspects of this powerful numerical symbol. Hanged is lengthened from head to toe, a practice that facilitates profoundly deeper breathing and knowing.

Hanged as Creator

Then there is this beautiful, profoundly Hanged insight from (So Glad I’m Me), who writes of the influence of Hanged on her work:

Hanged is the moment of suspension between creating and created. It is the work of not working. Hanged is all of the ways that we pass the time when we aren’t in active creation mode.

During the summer of 2020, I was laid off for six weeks. I experienced my most profound healing during long walks. Sometimes I walked upwards of eight miles at a time. (Again, I was in the best physical shape of my adult life.)

What are some “steps” (see what I did there?) that you can take today to facilitate your own healing or creating?

Hanged as Between

You know that feeling of dread, or maybe excitement, that floods your stomach when you know things are about to be different? Katy Wheatley of and describes Hanged much as I might describe the Wheel: a period of turning, cycling, and changing.

The difference between the cyclical nature of my Wheel and Katy’s Hanged is that while Wheel changes are the nitpicky stuff that happens around us that we barely notice, such as missing a light or finding a spare pencil, Hanged changes are big.

Not working for six weeks was the foot-off-of-the-gas-pedal that I needed in order to see that my old way of life no longer worked. My year and a half dissociative state was the big Hanged change. It was a period of stretching, testing out, experiencing, falling, falling in love, and ultimately falling in love with myself again.

Hanged changes are the deep realizations about missed opportunities, second chances, and profound synchronicities. What big realizations might you encounter if you took the time to pause?

Hanged as Water

(M. Fortune) has shown me a side of Hanged that I never considered, that of the seeker (or querent, or self) drowning in whatever psychological or emotional mess plagues them:

The “blurriness” of M. Fortune’s relationship with Hanged evokes Water, Hanged’s elemental association. Hanging upside down in a tree is not necessarily a joy-rooted choice (importantly, has written numerous times about this card’s association with violence toward people of color in the form of lynching). Hanged might also be a drowning heart, one which we need to tend to with great care and gentle love.

I grew up in a time and place in which the concept of “woman” was extremely rigid: polite, “demure” (how could I not?), delicate, in need of men holding doors and pushing in chairs (if I offered the same to a man it was weird, even unacceptable). A woman’s physical appearance was equally rigid: big boobs (which never happened for me), a perfect and large smile (also nope), wavy blonde hair (strike three). I have spent a lifetime of being other than the “ideal” woman.

Does this association with potential heartbreak mean that Hanged has to feel like the Three of Swords? Maybe. Not all of life’s experiences are glitter and puppies. Or, maybe the sensation of drowning is the realization that you need to empty out the proverbial Six of Cups (a card that, in reverse, calls us to the catharsis of healing our oldest traumas).

Hanged as “Death’s Waiting Room”

Let’s just say that, if you haven’t yet subscribed to Oak Moon Tarot (), you are missing out on some timely, gentle, vulnerable insights. This is the oh-my-god passage that made me come back to my own reality:

When I think of my own sacrifices of dignity, I think of verbally abusive relationships in my 20s, that time I dated a raging alcoholic in my early 30s, and cross-fading so hard that I had to be put on a bus (luckily a random stranger helped my mom figure out which stop we needed). The end of those relationships, the end of my out-of-control drinking and smoking, were more than wakeup calls. They were cries for help from my Hanged One. When I think of my gender identity, I suppose the cry for help came when I stopped avoiding my own reflection in every mirror. When I finally, really looked at myself, I felt like I was fading away. Eventually I began to see my dissociative states as a gift, an empath superpower, nothing to be ashamed of or hide. I reunited with my sense of dignity when I finally accepted that not being trans* and being perceived as de-transitioning was not some huge slam against the queer community. I am a cis woman who fiercely loves my trans* friends.

I even love my not-so-big you-know-whats, imperfect teeth, and wildly curly hair.

♡♡♡♡ What parts of yourself do you feel are unloved or unlovable? Who in your life can support you with their unconditional love? What does Hanged teach you about self-love? ♡♡♡♡

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