In case you missed it, Reese Witherspoon is shilling for AI under the auspices of…feminism?

Obviously, this made me go full flames on the side of my face.

If you know me or follow me here or on the socials, you are aware of how much I ABHOR generative AI like ChatGPT and its brethren. I’m down for some sort of Scarlet Letter type situation for th…

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Hope your weekend involves feeling not the total worst about all the things, including your March Madness brackets.

I did it, Tyrese. I went with one WBB and one MBB bracket for all my pools this year. As I type, I’m doing quite well.

I’m sure it will have all imploded by the time you read this missive.

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HS4 AT MIDNIGHT. HS4 AT MIDNIGHT. HS4 AT MIDNIGHT.

At last, it’s a true statement.

We are indeed mere hours away from the release of Kiss All The Time. Disco, Occasionally. so I’m obviously beside myself and have barely slept all week.

It’s the best.

I dare someone to have more fun than I do whilst fangirling out.

Obviously, I’m dressed for the occasion1 right down to the tips of my fingernails. As you can imagine, we take release day aesthetics very seriously in this household. But we’ll get to all that in a sec after handling some other Fruit Witch-related biz.

Every day this week has revealed new delights for the fandom and the world writ large, should they choose to engage with this delightful man.

ICYMI, this album cycle’s unexpected cover choice is Runner’s World.

It’s as clever and brilliant and unexpected as Better Homes & Gardens ahead of Harry’s House.

Footage from ye olden days of 2022.

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I would be obsessed even if I wasn’t the self-appointed leader of the Gen X/Elder Millennial Harries aka my beloved Coven of Psychos. It pleases my magazine-loving heart greatly and is such a pristine example of Pop Culture, Storytelling, and Media—the name of the class I created and teach at IU.

I’m kicking myself that I didn’t anticipate the running angle, though I never would have guessed the added (wonderful) layer of Haruki Murakami. (Read the whole story here, which I’m sure I’ll pull from when discussing the album in more detail. It’s great.)

Chef’s 💋 and congrats to all involved.

A few more thoughts on that angle…

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I hope you had a vaguely nice weekend, in spite of the horrors.

I’ve been retreating in fixations and obsessions of the pop culture variety for as long as I can remember. It’s the only way I know and core to pretty much all that I am and pretty much everything I’ve ever done.

All or nothing. Scorpio shit.

And…as I learned well into my 40s, extrem…

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So, I debated whether or not hiking into the moors of the Wuthering Heights discourse was worth it. Not because I’m concerned about my own personal take, but simply due to the disastrous state of cultural discourse on the internet, as evidenced currently by online chatter when it comes to matters involving Emerald Fennell1.

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Everything is awful. Want to not talk about ***waves hands wildly*** all that for a quick spell?

Before we dissociate in ways that help me personally survive the hellscape of current day America:

Fuck ICE.

Fuck all the monsters in the Epstein files, regardless of their political party.

Fuck Ticketmaster.

Fuck whoever kidnapped 84-year-old Nancy …

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Um, hi? (Again) (Sigh)

You know that clip of Gwyneth and Amy Poehler making barf sounds on Good Hang recently?1 That’s how I feel right now.

First, if anyone’s still here—fucking thank you. And for never doing anything but give me space …

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Are you hanging in okay out there? Because I get it if you’re really damn exhausted.

Life is chaos.

America is chaotic evil.

My own life is currently chaotic good meets chaotic are you fucking kidding me meets chaotic I don’t even know anymore.

.

But that’s 2025 for you. At least I’ll have a new Taylor Swift album in my ears realllllllly soon.

Though I don’t know that I’ve ever been more offended not to be asked to be part of something than I am this Substack hub of Taylor conversations.

Interestingly enough, I was just talking about the lack of expertise in content during my IU class this morning. There are quite a few names here that I call absolute bullshit on. I guess if your subscriber base is big enough, that doesn’t matter.

The Substack Post

The Substack Lives of a Showgirl

As the world braces for the release of Taylor Swift’s The Life of a Showgirl this Friday, Substackers are sharpening their takes. Is she a digital mastermind? How does her wardrobe double as narrative arc? And how, exactly, does a billionaire still manage to seem relatable…

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8 months ago · 231 likes · 19 comments

I don’t give a flying fuck how petty I sound, but I can tell you I won’t be tuning in to a singular bit of that programming.

My side-eyes are side-eyeing.

But enough of those bad vibes. I’m currently on a flight to Denver where I will land and have very little time left to wait for TS12, The Life of a Showgirl. Tomorrow night, I’ll be back with the Sisters Haim1 and two of my dearest friends. Plus, my server at the airport said to me, “I hope you take this as a compliment but you have witchy, Florence vibes and energy.” Then we talked about astrology + tattoos + covens for about 10 minutes.

Basically, nothing can bring me down now.

✨❤️‍🔥✨❤️‍🔥✨❤️‍🔥✨❤️‍🔥✨❤️‍🔥✨❤️‍🔥✨❤️‍🔥

I’ll be back here with thoughts on the new album as soon as I can, but for sure will be all over my IG Stories in real time.

In the meantime, here’s what I’ve been occupying my mind with of late.

1. Rihanna’s bebe girl

I meannnnnnnnnn.

2. This scarf styling video

3. Connie baby edits (yes, still—and always)

LOL if you thought I’ve moved on from The Summer I Turned Pretty.

But I’m v. glad so many people are equally unmoored and ready to come hang with me over on Unwell Girl Avenue.

As we know, I love a man who can really WEAR a pair of pants—short hems and long pooling silhouettes alike.

Sidebar: Obvs we are v. v. proud of the British Fruit Witch for slaying the Berlin marathon in under three hours. Elite!!!!!!!!!!

I would love a “Running on Empty” cover from the BBC1 lounge during HS4 promo, pretty please.

Leo!!!!2

4. Abbey Lee

Abbey Lee is forever one of my favorite models, even though she spells her name a lil bit wrong. She was a cornerstone of my time at Fashionista and I’m very happy to have her back in my life in a bigger way.

She plays a small, but pivotal role, in that new Jason Bateman/Jude Law show, Black Rabbit. The show’s low-key a mess, but I think she’s quite good in it while she’s on screen. Can the same be said for Jude’s accent or the story itself? No, it cannot. But I watched it all anyway.

Because she is a cool girl, Abs is also spending time with other cool kids (Harry + Zoe!) in Paris. Can I play the role of “fourth”?

5. Regina Hall + Amy Poehler’s impromptu bits on Good Hang

I mean, really anything on Good Hang—including this week’s gem with Kristen Wiig. But I feel that almost every single person reading these words is already aware of the marvelous delight that is this podcast.

6. Mitch Rowland’s new album filled with chill Americana/folk vibes

Faves so far: Really Ready, One In One Out, In the Morning, Be Your Man

7. Imagining what the fuck this movie is about without looking it up.

8. Charlie Puth + my fellow NC Panther, Kenneth “Babyface” Edmonds

9. Olivia Dean’s new album, The Art of Loving

Have I screamed at you about this woman enough over the past year? Well, the full album is as good as expected. I can’t wait to see her open for Sabrina next month.

She’s also on the Today show tomorrow (Friday) morning and the new face of Burberry Her.

10. Revisiting Redford

Did Robert Redford lead one of the most fulfilling creative lives ever? At least from an outside perspective? I feel like you could certainly make a very strong case.

Plus, he’s one of our OG watch guys.

Here’s what’s on my personal rewatch schedule:

• All the President’s Men

The movie that made me fall in love with reporting/journalism movies, natch.

• The Way We Were

Duh.

• Legal Eagles

If you’re of a certain age, you know what’s up with this banger and probably watched it on cable 1000 times.

• Sneakers

I very much need this movie NOT to be lost to time. How could we let that happen when the cast includes Redford, River Phoenix, Sidney Poitier, Dan Aykroyd, Mary McDonnell, David Strathairn, Ben Kingsley??????

• Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid

Another, duh. But never a waste of your time.

• Up Close & Personal

I love this movie so much. Real ones know it was written by Joan Didion and John Gregory Dunne and started as a straight-up biopic about Jessica Savitch, another obsession of mine back in the day.

Tally Atwater + Warren Justice Forever.

11. This NYT Cameron Crowe interview

I feel like I haven’t read a Hollywood profile this interesting and insightful in quite some time.

ALSO, THE VANILLA SKY HIVE IS THE BEST HIVE.

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12. Shady rich lady stories like Amy Griffin’s

I never fucked with Elizabeth Gilbert, who has her own buzzy (but not necessarily in a good way) narrative going. I couldn’t even get through the “Eat” chapter of that book and never saw the movie. And I’ve been saying the vibes are so off with that Mel Robbins lady since she arrived on the scene. Apparently, Amy Griffin might just be a bit of a story grifter, too. Katie Rosman and Elizabeth Egan from the NYT really did the reporting work here and I thank them for it.

13. Charli + George wedding content

Inject it into my veins. The limit does not exist. If we’re choosing simply based on vibes, hobbies, interests, and aesthetics, this is the pop girlie friend group I’d fit in best with…

Italy, cigarettes, Matty Healy spinning some “Call Me Maybe”? SOLD.

@hollieamberheartsThe best DJ #mattyhealy #the1975 #charlixcx #georgedaniel

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@hollieamberheartsThe best DJ #mattyhealy #the1975 #charlixcx #georgedaniel

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See you on the other side, Showgirls❤️‍🔥

xA

Happy Saturday eve, my friends.

I hope this finds you filled with whatever whimsy is for you and ready to embrace the glory that is fall.

Before we dive into some music and pod talk, let’s hit play on The Engagement (Abby’s Version). Don’t worry, like The Life of a Showgirl, it’s a tight 12 tracks. I know the world has been inundated with wedding content. But unlike so many outlets reaching for an angle, at least I’m on brand.

• She looks beyond glowingly happy. We love to see it—and the joy it brought to so many people all over this dark, gloomy world.

• The ring is EXCELLENT. I’d love to know how Trav found his way to the designer, Kindred Lubeck. Because given his own jewelry choices over the years…let’s just say, PHEW.

• I’m glad she got to do her engagement post like a basic normie. It was pure Taylor the Millennial Dork (complimentary).

• The caption was perfect: “Your English teacher and your gym teacher are getting married 🧨.” No notes, other than to call out that she went with English teacher, not music teacher. That’s the writer girlie I adore.

• Thank god Blondie didn’t do the nails like that one manicure that will haunt me for the rest of my days.

• Yes, I’m deeply concerned about the wedding dress. Deeply, deeply concerned1.

• See also: the Lady Mahomes 🙄

• Ed Kelce2. Sir. You’re going to need to STFU. First, why are you doing interviews with Australian radio stations, just in general?3 Second, how did that call from Tree go after you spilled proposal details and said Taylor had been “antsy”? He reminds me of Justin Timberlake’s grandma back in the peak *NSYNC/Us Weekly era. That woman would answer her phone to any unknown number and start yapping. Not in an intentionally harmful way, but still.

• This made me cackle.

Nothing will ever beat the Leo/MGMT lore, but man bros love that fucking band.

• This made me want to dieeeeeeeeee.

• But this was perfection.

• Lastly, I had to use autopick for my fantasy football draft this season because I ended up having a conflict and couldn’t hop online. In all my years, Riggins Rigs has never done this. Guess who the universe drafted as my TE? Yep. The spirits, the coven, Stevie, the whoever is trying to bring us together on common ground. First Taylor, then the otters, now a literal (yet imaginary) football team.

I had Trav on my team many years ago, back in his prime, and he crushed it for me even though I could never erase Catching Kelce promos from my brain. Still can’t—this is part of the problem.

Now he’s an “old man” in football years and likely playing his final season, but I’ve seen Tayvoodoo do stranger things than make a Hall of Fame athlete perform like his younger self. So we shall see how he contributes and what this all does to our (one-way) relationship.

Now it’s time to put your headphones on and listen to my favorite songs. I mean, if you feel like it—and in whatever sort of headphones you prefer. Personally, I deploy different modalities for different activities and/or moods. As one does. Teamwork makes the dream work. OG Wireds, AirPods, and AirPods Max are all starters and role players.

Playlists are indeed one of my love languages. They are also infused with a low dose of covert narcissism disguised as altruism. I am nothing if not self aware and make no apologies for a lifetime of forcing my pop culture will upon others 😉.

The Lake Vibes playlist really clocks in to work during a midwestern summer and we love that work ethic. It continues to ebb and flow and grow, as vibes are wont to do. I pretty much treat it like a living, breathing entity that never knows stasis.4

I also believe it timeless and seasonless, while remaining perfectly calibrated for time spent on a pontoon boat or a pier. I do have to get used to sharing the aux during our fam time at Lake Wawasee. But luckily my dad, brother, and I have plenty of overlap to which we each had our own special sauce.

Bonus: The whole fam loves an evening dance party.

I don’t think it will surprise anyone to know that I love being able to see what’s going on listening-habit wise with my Apple Music Replays throughout the year.

The summer looked like this:

JUNE

Top 5 Artists

1. HAIM

2. Taylor Swift

3. Addison Rae

4. The Beach Boys

5. Mumford & Sons

Top 5 Albums

1. I quit — HAIM

2. Addison — Addison Rae

3. Reputation — Taylor Swift

4. Virgin — Lorde

5. Pet Sounds — The Beach Boys

Top 5 Songs

1. “Relationships” — HAIM

2. “Headphones On” — Addison

3. “Fame is a Gun” — Addison

4. “All over me” — HAIM

5. “WTHelly” — Rob 495

JULY

Top 5 Artists

1. HAIM

2. Taylor

3. Justin Bieber

4. Addison Rae

5. Beyoncé

Top 5 Albums

1. I quit — HAIM

2. SWAG — Justin Bieber

3. Singles soundtrack

4. The Clearing — Wolf Alice

5. The Black Album — Jay-Z

Top 5 Songs

1. “DAISIES” — Biebs

2. “GO BABY” — Biebs

3. “All over me” — HAIM

4. “Relationships” — HAIM

5. “There’s A Rhythm” — Bon Iver

AUGUST

Top 5 Artists

1. Taylor

2. HAIM

3. Olivia Dean

4. Sabrina Carpenter

5. British Fruit Witch

Top 5 Albums

1. Man’s Best Friend — Sabrina6

2. Who’s the Clown? — Audrey Hobert

3. Lucius — Lucius

4. SABLE, fABLE — Bon Iver

5. 1989 (Deluxe Edition) — Taylor

Top 5 Songs

1. “All over me” — HAIM

2. “GO BABY” — Biebs

3. “There’s A Rhythm” — Bon Iver

4. “Nice To Each Other” — Olivia Dean

5. “DAISIES” — Biebs

PREVIOUSLY ON WHN

In effort to curb my own completist instincts, I’m attempting to only throw out some notes on stuff I haven’t previously discussed in much detail on WHN. Plus, some pods I’ve been loving, too.

Let’s get to it.

• Man’s Best Friend — Sabrina Carpenter

Welcome to our newest diva in the villa: Man’s Best Friend.

It’s very much a companion (ha!) album to Short n’ Sweet, which came out in late August last year.

I saw some (extremely chronically online) discourse (before I scrolled away) around her releasing too much music. We saw this last year with Tortured Poets and I once again call bullshit on telling artists how and when they are “allowed” to release their art.7

This is not to say the output is not open to critique or that said art is not connected to commerce and capitalism. But the blanket statements from people who have nothing substantive to add to the (or really, any) conversation make me eye-roll so hard. Don’t want? Don’t like? Don’t listen. It’s really quite simple.

Anyway, I just adore Sabrina’s wit and sense of humor and how effortlessly8 it seems to flow into her music. This album is a smutty, clever, hilarious, Scorpio-coded delight in my book. (She’s a sister sign Taurus, so this tracks.) I like the giant wink that is MBF—and lord knows I love an aside, which this album is chock full of. Sometimes I feel like whatever’s happening inside my head is just an endless series of asides that eventually loop back around before jutting off in a new, uncharted direction.

I love the sound of the album and how it pings around between ‘80s retro-synth, country, disco, R&B, and pop sounds. I concur with all the musical influences in this TikTok and I’d throw in some ‘80s Whitney stylings9, Shania meets the Mandrells, certain Prince eras (like the energy of “Starfish and Coffee”), Babyface, OG #1 Olivia (Newton-John), and

Thematically, it’s a delightfully funny and petty fuck you to straight men. (Ahem, Barry Keoghan, I have never been on board with you and now I know how right I was.) I kinda love the corner Sabrina sits on that projects the frustration and exhaustion of being attracted to men. Not, of course, in any way that is trying to compare it to the serious exhaustion and the emotional lift that someone in the queer community faces while simply trying to exist as themselves in the world.

She may be teeny tiny, but her pen is devilishly mighty.

My early faves:

“When Did You Get Hot?”

I live for the cadence on this track—and the idea of a “prospect convention”.

Congratulations on your new improvements
I bet your light rod's like bigger than Zeus'
Hey, wait, can you lift my car with your hand?
You were an ugly kid, but you're a sexy man

Sorry, I did not see the vision
Thank the Lord, the fine you has risen
Big riff coming, I need a minute
(Wait, I need a minute, ehmm)
(Okay, here it comes)

“Tears”

The thesis of this song cracks me up.

I get wet at the thought of you
Being a responsible guy
Treating me like you're supposed to do
Tears run down my thighs

It’s truly, like, GUYS, it’s not that hard. Get it together.

A little initiative can go a very long, long way
Baby, just do the dishes, I'll give you what you want
A little communication, yes, that's my ideal foreplay
Assemble a chair from IKEA, I'm like, "Uh"

It’s technically the next single, complete with a music video co-starring the great Colman Domingo.

It’s so delightful when my interests collide and the algo serves them directly into my eyeballs.

“Don’t Worry, I’ll Make You Worry”

I feel very seen.

Silent treatment and humbling your ass
Well, that's some of my best work
Thought sleeping with you might help me decide
But it was annoyingly good, so thanks for making it worse

But on the 40-minute drive home
You're internalizing my jokes
And your mother even agrees
That emotional lottery is all you'll ever get with me

So don't worry
I'll make you worry like no other girl can
So don't worry
Damn sure, I'll never let you know where you stand

“House Tour”

This absolute bop is my most played on the album and even though “Tears” is the next single, “House Tour” is everywhere.

I continue to have grave concerns about media literacy as I saw wayyyyyyyyy too many people thinking they were utter geniuses for understanding these lyrics. Um, it’s hilarious and so well written to me. But the comparative language is not complex, nor is it intended to be. I’m not saying one has to realize every single thing in the moment, but the virality and comments sections of some posts I saw had me logging off and taking calming breaths. You did not solve something.

Anyway, I love it and the rushed whisper “take your shoes off” is a perfect way to open this bop.

Thank you for dinner, baby, I had a really great time
I really loved the conversation and that your car self drives
The pineapple air freshener is my favorite kind
Well, this is me, but if you have time

Do you want the house tour?
I could take you to the first, second, third floor
And I promise none of this is a metaphor
I just want you to come inside
Baby, what's mine is now yours

The couch is really comfy, comfy
Got some Chips Ahoy if you're hungry, hungry
You don't need to love me, love me, love me
I'm just so proud of my design

Do you want the house tour?
I could take you to the first, second, third floor
And I promise none of this is a metaphor
I just want you to come inside
But never enter through the back door

House tour
Yeah, I spent a little fortune on the waxed floors
We can be a little reckless 'cause it's insured
I'm pleasured to be your hot tour guide
Baby, what's mine is now yours

My house is on Pretty Girl Avenue
My house was especially built for you
Some say it's a place where your dreams come true
My house could be your house too

So, uhm
Are you coming in or what?

Leave a comment

It’s always a good sign when different clips from the same song are blowing up on TikTok. The perfect Toks are certainly hitting my FYP on Pretty Girl Avenue.

Refer a friend

SIDEBAR: CURLY-HAIRED BOYS FROM CHESHIRE WHOSE MUSIC I LOVE, PT. 1

Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

That’s what I say to myself—out loud—every time a new photo of Harry Edward Styles and Zoe Isabella Kravitz10. So hot. So chic. I want to throw up (in a cool way, maybe on the side of the PCH).

But, my god. The perfection of the NYC hangs and fits. Also, Harry is not a shortie by any means, but these jeans and their height differential is giving Jacob Elordi heights. The move to put the arm around the shoulder almost ended me.

THIS is the cinema we bring our pop to, H.

Here’s a clip from my socials when we only had the Rome stuff.

I did a brief search of WHN and I had stop counting the number of times I’ve referred that Zoe as the coolest person ever or some variation thereof. And, the grooviest, chicest, most beautiful. She truly seems like the best hang, whether you’re drinking wine and/or tequila and smoking cigs or getting utterly stoned and bed rotting, ordering in minimum three times in the same day. Her tats are constant inspo. I lived for High Fidelity and think about it and how mad I am at Hulu for canceling the show after one season at least three to five times a month.

I was really into Blink Twice, her directorial debut, and also LOL’d at myself in looking back at what I wrote:

I think it was a very strong debut for Zoe as a director and I was totally entertained the whole time. There is a lot of excellent stuff in there. It looks fantastic and some of the performances are quite good. I’m excited to see what she does next.

I think thematically (and here’s where I really don’t want to give stuff away) it was a bit surface-level and on the nose in what it was trying to say about culture and feminism and whatnot. Like it thought it was making more of a deep statement than it really was. That said, it was much more successful around those same themes than Don’t Worry Darling was—or tried to be. Plus, the movie makes hella more sense.

It was also wildly more successful in terms of the vibes of the press tour. The Blink Twice cast has been an utter delight in every clip I’ve seen and I would very much love to hang with Zoe and Channing.

I also thought of this photo set from back in the day…

Anyway, whatever they’re doing seems sexy AF and awash in immaculate vibes. I’m so into it.

Lastly, I think we can confirm this was The Summer I Turned Into A Person With A Watch Kink thanks to Harry and Connie.

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• I quit — HAIM

I never gave this banger of an album its proper due here, but I love it SO much and haven’t stopped playing it heavily since it came out on June 20.

I’m a prettyOG Haim girlie. We know I loved that beauteous Tumblr era. Their catalog is filled with so many memories for me. The last album—Women in Music Pt. III or WIMPIII—was so fundamental in getting me through the pandemic. So it holds a really special place in my heart. I feel so safe and comfy inside their albums. And I quit is no different. I think it’s fucking fantastic and while I have hyper fixation favorites, it’s really no skips for me. It’s both very old school HAIM and an evolution at the same time.whenever I love how unapologetically horny it is while also being super emotional. This is a sweet spot for me, natch.

As you could see in my most played lists, “Relationships” is as beloved as ever. Remember, this was a song that was first teased by a 15 second clip that a whole lot of us were playing on a loop for days until we got the real deal.

I absolutely agree with Past Me from back in March:

I wrote about the other pre-release singles when they came out, too. You’ll find “Everybody’s trying to figure me out” here and “Down to be wrong” here. My as-not-yet-named current fixations are:

“All over me”

“The farm”

“Cry”

Este, Danielle, and Alana kicked off the I Quit tour this week, but I’m about to hit the road with my fake sisters this weekend. Stay tuned for more on the live front soooooon. If anyone is going in Chicago or Milwaukee, let me know!!!!

In the newfound tradition (which I love) of creating an interactive moment at shows like Charli’s “Apple” dance and Role Model’s “Sally”, the sisters Haim are picking a “Relationships” girl at every show.

Mrs. Haim adorably got the nod opening night.

✨I NEED TO MANIFEST THIS FOR MYSELF✨ Please feel free to join in if you’re so inclining. I’ve been redoing the gallery wall in my living/dining room and recently found the girls a nice lil space. Will this help, universe?!? I took the Travis Kelce draft thing really well, too. Gold star for me????

• SABLE fABLE — Bon Iver

“There’s a Rhythm” has been my favorite since the album came out in April and I can’t get enough of it. Hard recommend throwing the whole thing on while you work. And I wouldn’t be surprised if SABLE fABLE ends up quietly snagging an Album of the Year Grammy nom.

• “Go Baby”, “Daisies” — Justin Bieber

I fucking love the SWAG11 and R&Bieber. But those two are my faves since SWAG dropped. For the first few days, “Go Baby” made me burst into tears every time I listened, so um yeah I’m fine.

• The Art of Loving — Olivia Dean

Or I should say, the songs from The Art of Loving currently available before the full album drops on September 26. I have been pushing Olivia on people for well over a year and I just knew she was about to take off in the US. I’m so excited because she’s opening for Sabrina when I go in Nashville in November.

Her voice is so dreamy and pure and soulful and jazzy but with this lightness to its fullness, if that even makes a lick of sense—combined with some great, great songwriting.

“Nice to Each Other”

Olivia Dean is another lovely and talented young woman who seemingly spent some time hanging out with a certain British Fruit Witch last year—though this is not how I heard of her. I was already a fan. Bless. It seemed super casual and fun. Some London hangs that were spotted. A music festival in Madrid. And based on this song, some time in Italy.

If the one thing Blondie was gonna do during early dating days with a new guy was meet his mom, Harry’s is inviting someone to Italy. An excellent play12. No notes. The other thing he’s gonna do? Inspire bangers.

I love love love love these lyrics and the way she sings them.

Here we are, back again
Fighting what's in front of me
There's so much to unpack again
But if I come to Italy

We could be nice to each other
Nice to each other
Wrong for each other
Right for each other
And rise to each other
Rise to each other, mm-mm-mm

I don't know where the switches are
Or where you keep the cutlery
And I'll probably crash this stupid car
And make your life a misery

But we could be nice to each other
Nice to each other
Wrong for each other
Right for each other
And rise to each other
Rise to each other, mm-mm-mm

'Cause you know, I've done all the classic stuff
And it never works, you know it
So can we say we'll never say the classic stuff?
Just show it
Meet me on the mountaintop
I'll be in the shallow wind
And wait for you to call it off
'Cause I don't want a boyfriend

I’ve had this tee on pre-order since back in June.

You def need to check out the new Wolf Alice album if you haven’t. It’s excellent, as is this cover.

“Man I Need”

Both NTEO and this one have gone prettttttty viral on the Tok. It makes me so happy to watch someone’s career level up in a big way.

I think my favorite line is, “I kinda like it when you call me wonderful”. So simple. So romantic.

Looks like we're making up for lost time
Need you to spell it out for me
Bossa Nova on all night
It's like a type of alchemy
Introduce me to your best friend
I can come and slot right in
A satellite ain't even that far13
I kinda wonder where you are

Already know I can't leave it alone
You're on my mind, mm
Already gave you the time and the place
So, don't be shy

Just come be the man I need
Tell me you got something to give, I want it
I kinda like it when you call me wonderful
Whatever the type of talk it is, come on then
I gotta know you're meant to be the man I need
Talk to me
Talk to me

Also because my brain is broken—and it’s what I would do if I could—I fully had an LOL the promo billboard in Manchester (the city closest to Harry’s hometown). I have not a singular piece of real evidence that it was strategically placed, but not that it wasn’t either. And that it’s all in good fun too even if it was. I believe she’s dating Clairo’s drummer now.

Olivia just sold out four nights at the O2 and they announced this week that she’s doing a Today show concert on 10/3. It is, in fact, all happening.

Here’s what else I’d put in your starter pack.

“The Hardest Part”

You may remember this from the end of an And Just Like That episode this season14, making it one of the maybe five good things that happened on the show’s final run.

“Touching Toes”

“Messy”

“Password Change”

“Crosswords”

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• “Golden” + “Soda Pop” —HUNTR/X aka KPop Demon Hunters

My four-year-old nephew Teddy was a very early adopter to what has become Netflix’s most watched film ever. I watched the first 15 minutes of what he initially called “dance party movie” countless times at the lake in July. I finally sat down and took the whole thing in last month.

I mean, concerts and lady demon hunters who use the power of music and concert communities to safeguard the world? I’m fucking in. And the music slaps. Which is why so many of the songs soared up the Billboard charts.

Golden is my #1 for sure.

But I’m not mad at any of these tunes. We def got down to “Soda Pop” on the regular. It’s the Bear’s fave.

You gotta just let the K-bops take you wherever they’re going to take you.

I love Andy so much.

I’m very much not a Djoker fan, but this was a cute, funny moment at the U.S. Open.

SIDEBAR: CURLY-HAIRED BOYS FROM CHESHIRE WHOSE MUSIC I LOVE, PT. II

Matty Healy at James Taylor??? I cannot. It’s so delightful and, my god, the layers.

“You said you never met one girl who had as many James Taylor records as you, but I do.” My lore, Blondie’s lore, Matty’s lore, now Matty and Gabbriette and that TikTok girl’s lore. Also, look at this from ye olde FB mems today.

• “A-Lister” — Romy Mars

I’ve had a draft started positing that Romy Mars is the Dakota Johnson of her nepo gen since the end of May 🫠, just after she dropped this bop. I promise I’m going to finish it soon.

@r0mymarsToo wordy to release, but wanted to share this one I wrote a while ago #songwriting #fyp

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• “Outside”, clips from court appearances — Cardi B

“Outside”15 is fun and all, but mostly, I’ve listening to/wawtching clips from Cardi’s recent court situation. She is so gd funny, I cannot.

@cameronjerrardReplying to @teesqrd20 and that’s all I know pertaining to the matter #fyp #foryou

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LOLOLOL.

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Oh, and…

Lena Dunham’s memoir, Famesick, comes out in April and is available for pre-order now … I’m really excited to watch the John Candy doc, I Like Me … I miss Bungalow 8 … I also miss Barneys … Alexa Chung in new Céline on the cover of Elle UK? Yes, please … Lauren Sherman at Puck has the best reporting on Chloe Malle and Vogue if you’re interested.

Until next week, I leave you with the trailer for the new season Real Housewives of Potomac, premiering 10/5. It’s framed within a letter Gizelle is writing to Karen Huger in prison. I die. This show is so GD funny. Plus, Monique + her bird are back!

xA

PS: If this tweet means anything to you, let’s talk because OMG, RIGHT?

2

I am livid that Donna Kelce is going to be on the next season of Traitors and honestly might not be able to watch. I don’t wish her ill. I just wish her off of my screens because WHY?????? (I mean I know clicks-wise, but you get what I’m saying.)

Never forget:

So, it’s been a minute and for that I sincerely apologize.

When I say I feel like absolute garbage about it, know that I’m being fully transparent while also in no way looking for someone to make me feel better.

I’m also furious at myself for the book stack I didn’t finish, the projects I never even started, the laps I didn’t swim at the lake…Greta gets me.

This is all giving classic Abby.

That is to say that there was only one source of anxiety and imagined disappointment of others and creative paralysis and and and…that would be:

Abigail Carey Gardner’s fucking brain.

Now, when I finally decided to talk about this with my therapist about 10 days ago, it cracked some sort of code, opening doors into places that even after 11+ years together we haven’t been. So…yay, I guess?1

Contrary to many a past post, I do realize this Substack is not an actual therapy session, but it’s not not therapy either. For that I thank all of you for this lil safe, nonsense-welcome space.

Anyway, I don’t know if you ever find yourselves in that sort of state of paralysis, even about something you LOVE to do—which WHN very much is. Then the more you don’t do it, the more you can’t do it.

Stick with me for a second and then we’re gonna be right back in our pop culture sweet spot.

When I was little, I was SUCH a picky eater. Like down to the brand of peanut butter2, aka one of the few things I’d eat. There was a family taste test involved, which is a story I may have told on back in the podcast era, but I’ll save it for another day. Basically, I was a nightmare to feed and I did NOT like chicken (what????) Sometimes my mom or dad would give me the old, “Okay you have to eat three bites before you can leave the table” bit and I would sit there and chew that GD chicken until you, like, couldn’t swallow it.

There’s definitely a whole lot of stubbornness involved. But also the longer I didn’t do it, the more daunting the doing of it seemed. Here’s the thing, I’m nothing if not extremely self-aware. Even when I can’t stop (or start) doing whatever it is I’m self-aware of.

Like when you haven’t gone to the gym in so long you simply cannot go to the gym. That’s a bit what this felt like inside my head.

It’s like a shame pile-up, but you’re the only one doing the shaming. You’re also the only one who can take action and you know it will bring relief. But you still can’t. I fell into a version of that cycle mid-July when I missed a week and then it just snowballed.

The thing is, I wasn’t depressed. (Summer has been a blast! Promise! No need to worry about your girl!) Or even necessarily creatively stuck. It wasn’t writer’s block in the traditional sense. But, like, action block.

Then you can layer in the “Well you obviously needed a break even though you didn’t realize it, so why didn’t you just send out a little note?” “Oh you know you’ll feel SO good if you do, but you still just…don’t?” Friends, great questions.

But I feel like some of you with a degree of spice to your neuro might understand.

There are also myriad layers of perfectionism, seeking validation and affection through “grades” and achievements, feeling misunderstood which leads to over-explaining and completionist tendencies. The list goes on.

I swear to god I was soclose to getting my shit together after the aforementioned therapy conversation when BOOM…Taylor Alison Swift “Oh, hi”-ed in to inject me with her very special brand of narcotics.

Every last one of my creative synapses sat up and took notice. Siri, play “Daylight” because “I've been sleepin' so long in a twenty-year dark night. And now I see daylight.”

We all know I’m never more prolific (and absurd) than when one of my faves is activated. This is a key component of who I am—or my particular combination of mental illnesses. Depends on who you ask.

So, here we are, and bless you for always indulging me in wherever this addled brain takes us. I missed you. A whole lot.

But the accidental hiatus is now as over as I hope Harry’s very deserved one will be sooooooooooooooooon.

Ed note: Given how much H and Blondie historically like to torture me (complimentary) in unplanned tandem, I’d say we’re getting real fucking close to a public-facing Fruit Witch.

Here’s what I’m thinking:

I’m going to throw some random thoughts and takes and whatnot at you that have been on my mind and my screens since last we talked. I was jotting down notes in draft posts this whole time, but some of that stuff stopped being interesting weeks ago—and that’s on me. Sigh.

There’s a tiny bit of other music stuff in here today, but I’m going to do another post about what I’ve been listening to, which should cover some of the new stuff we missed chatting about. Along with what I’m looking forward to that’s been announced over the past six weeks or so and isn’t called The Life of a Showgirl. I’ll save the TS12 of it all for the end of this post, so my non-Swifties can easily skip it if they so choose.

Sidebar: I see you, my Taylor-averse friends. I see you. To quote another of my favorite writers from Nashville, Ms. Kacey Musgraves:

You can't be everybody's cup of tea
Some like the bitter, some the sweet
Nobody's everybody's favorite, so you might as well just make it how you please

If you’ve been here for a while, you know I am never mad3 if we’re not into the same things—or at the same level of mania even if we are. Make your WHN how you please!

All that is to say: We. Are. Back. Baby.

Just like Jay-Z was during the Cowboy Carter Tour, Atlanta N3. I don’t expect thousands of people collectively losing their shit like we did that July night, but a girl can dream 😉.

LFG ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

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• Now, I did actually write during the month of July, for my friend Amber’s excellent Substack, Things I Buy As A Civilian. I was extremely honored to be asked and had so much fun doing it. If you’re into beauty and not already subscribing, it’s a hard recommend from me. Actually the RŌZ + THE GREAT Sweatshirt Hair Towel I swoon over in the post factors into the fangirl mania I experienced this week upon the TS12 color palette reveal, as you’ll see later. I’m still OBSESSED with this towel and I love the story of how it came to be4.

Things I Buy As A Civilian

What Abby Gardner buys with her 🇺🇸 $

What a treat we have today! Abby Gardner (writer of We Have Notes) is one of my favorite people on the planet. She’s a former beauty editor, a fabulous writer and a pop culture savant. Her enthusiasm for everything from Harry Styles to fashion to disliking Aidan (co-sign, P.S.) to her local sports teams is something to behold…

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10 months ago · 14 likes · Amber Katz

• STEVIE + LINDSEY. STEVIE + LINDSEY. STEVIE + LINDSEY.

I low-key still can’t believe that I opened Instagram one day to see a suspicious post from Stevie Nicks with old lyrics from a song called “Frozen Love” off of Buckingham Nicks. Think, “If Lindsey follows with the next lyric, I’ll die”, only to have him do JUST THAT.

Especially after quickly remembering Mick Fleetwood had posted with a snippet of said BN song the day before.

But, happen it did.

Buckingham Nicks is the album my favorite chaos couple released in 1973, before joining Fleetwood Mac. Unless you had an OG vinyl copy, it has been ostensibly for 50 years. It was never released on CD or digital. There are bootlegs, natch, and more recently you could play it on this random YouTube channel.

Turns out the Taylor Swift + Matty Healy of the ‘70s (and beyond) learned a thing or two from the youngs about teasing a release. Because on September 19, we shall be blessed with the gift of a fully remastered Buckingham Nicks in all the formats.

I love this album so much and cannot wait to have the full thing streaming. (Of course, I pre-ordered the vinyl, too. This is a perfect example of why buying physical forms of art matters!)

The first two singles are already streaming: “Crying in the Night” and “Don’t Let Me Down Again”.

We will get into more detail on it all when the album is out and if they ever end up on a stage together again, that may finally be the thing that turns this woman to gold dust. I was meant to see Stevie later this month, but our beloved coven leader had to reschedule some shows due to a shoulder surgery. So now that Cincy date is November 30.

✨Get well soon, Stevie ✨We love you.5

• Speaking of Harold, my favorite fruit-loving Aquarian finally launched a Pleasing vibrator which I’ve been waiting for him to do since he announced the brand.

A Scorpio Harrie’s dream 🥵💦🫠.

I was prepared for this launch like it was a Ticketmaster pre-sale and thoroughly, um, frustrated when those babies sold out in under a minute. Who knows how many were in the original run, but I was able to score the lube and a few days later got a pre-order in for the device. Stay tuned…

Meanwhile.

One day he’s BABY6.

The next he’s DADDY.

But always, he’s Limeboy.

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• And Just Like That, the woman was on her own wondering…wait, are those literal turds on my TV screen?

I’d never be able to list all the myriad ways I hated the episodes of AJLT while I was away.

But wowowowowowowowowowow was it awful.

There is absolutely NO WAY they knew this show was ending until way late in the game. Don’t believe otherwise.

It was always a structural mess, filled with plot lines left a-hanging all over Manhattan, character decisions that made no sense, and fucking Aidan. But even still, they would have built a final season differently. There would have been a whole goodbye tour. Our main ladies, who we’ve known for DECADES might have had more screen time together in the series finale.

Meanwhile, they had SJP on a full-on press tour (from Call Her Daddy to bestie Andy’s WWHL) midway through the season with nary of a whiff of goodbye. That’s giving, HBO pleeeeeeease keep us around.

But seriously, why was there rampant toilet humor on this show? Brady’s farting baby mama. Victor Garber and a clogged toilet with lingering shots on pieces of poo. The indignity! That’s SpyDaddy!

To everything its place, but this is not it. Aidan, forever The Worst, became more insufferable than ever before. Everyone finally came around to where I’d been all along.

Though credit where due for a well-placed Taylor song —”How Did It End?”— during the breakup.

Also, Carrie: YOU WERE NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH THAT MAN FOR 22 YEARS. YOU HAD A WHOLE HUSBAND WHO YOU NEVER TALK ABOUT WHICH IS SUPER DUPER WEIRD. I get it that Chris Noth is persona non grata, but that doesn’t mean Carrie can’t acknowledge the evolution of her grief over her dead husband.

I feel like we should treat this show like that season of Dallas when Patrick Duffy left and I grieved his death deeply, only to have it erased.

Let’s pretend AJLT was Carrie fever dream that never happened. Thusly, all of the beloved characters they assassinated in new ways each week can be remembered as they should have always been. Kim Cattrall must be somewhere cackling, as only Samantha remains her fabulous self.

I could go on for fucking ever, but I’ll leave this dumbass show’s section with a parting thought*. Well, really it’s for AJLT Carrie, a once-savvy, super riche woman who didn’t know how to order decent runners to her apartment…IN MANHATTAN.

*Read in the style of Rachel Green’s “It's not that common, it doesn't happen to every guy, and it is a big deal!”

You’re not this meek. It doesn’t take a year to buy furniture. And it is a big deal to clomp around in your shoes.

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• I also hate everything about the existence of The Devil Wears Prada sequel—including the already breathless coverage and pap shots. We don’t need this. The magazine industry is now depressing AF. They’re going to try so badly to force a moment like the cerulean blue speech and it will flop terribly.

It’s giving AJLT and, as just discussed, that ended with a literal toilet of shit, so you do the math.

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• RIP, Frisbee. If you know about Andy Samberg’s running bit about Seth’s dog, these comments will delight you.

• I legit thought this was an old clip while scrolling. But, no. It’s simply that Rachel Bilson + Hayden Christensen’s daughter stole her mom’s entire face.

• Fit for TV: The Reality of The Biggest Loser on Netflix is pretty riveting.

I was absolutely obsessed with this show in its heyday and often wept my way through eps. While I did so earnestly, and in good faith, I’ve long since recognized how fucked up the whole thing was. Seeing it all laid out in front of you though, oof.

I can acknowledge being part of the larger societal problem, even if I didn’t realize it at the time—and was harmed in my own ways by those same toxic “norms” around weight and bodies. Jillian Michaels has found new ways to be a total problematic asshat over the years. But I was a bit surprised that Bob Harper took NO accountability in the doc and acted like such a prick in his sit-downs. (Jillian didn’t participate.)

• These Trainwreck installments on Netflix are essentially longform Inside Edition episodes. I cannot in good conscience call them documentaries. But that’s not to say I’m not watching. I very much am. American Apparel, Rob Ford, Woodstock ‘99, Astroworld, The Real Project X, and, of course, Poop Cruise—I’ve seen ‘em all. But we have to call a spade a spade.

• I really have been watching a lot of this genre lately, more so than usual. I find it…calming for my brain???? This includes Amy Bradley Is Missing. I didn’t know much about this case and find the concept of a cruise horrifying in a million ways, which this did not alleviate. But it also got a bit boring at the end??? I feel so awful for her family of course, but I think we needed a stronger edit.

I got really fixated on this woman giving alt Kate Hudson in a gritty role she’s hoping will win her an Oscar.

Tell me I’m wrong!!!!

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• Obviously, I’m obsessively watching the third season of The Summer I Turned Pretty. Who do you take me for???

Team Jeremiah, go stand in the corner with Team Aiden and think about what you did.

What an unserious doofus cacao-loving fuckboi spoiled brat with bad credit. I mean, Belly sucks too and merely hooking up with the two brothers of your family’s closest friends is pretty fucking wild in general. We just fulllllly suspend the disbelief on that and, frankly, it’s easy to do in the world Jenny Han created.

I’ll be over here with Team Connie Baby, where I’ve been since day one, standing in my rightness.

Sabrina gets it. Because she’s a clever girl and doesn’t suffer a manchild gladly.

Obviously the music on this show continues to be elite and extremely seated in every section of my wheelhouse. “You’re Losing Me” + “Lacy” + “Mystery of Love” in the first two eps? GTFO. You should understand Conrad is IT based on the musical selections alone. That run of “Cherry” > “Linger” > “Songbird” > “Wild Horses” nearly took me out.

(See, I really was thinking I was gonna do posts and content this whole time. Or I’m just a covert narcissist. Probably a little of both.)

And, of course, the return of “False God”.

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Facts.

Swoon.

Please don't ask me how many edits I’ve watched about Conrad’s slutty lil watch. I’m not sure anyone can handle the truth.

• The Gilded Age really found its groove this season.

I absolutely delighted in it every week. Though, my queendom for JP Morgan (as played by Bill Camp) spouting off about the Morgan Letters. That would have been so fun. I felt like all the storylines were seriously humming and Train Daddy’s opioid addiction which is definitely going to be a thing is gonna be so dramatic next season. I can’t wait. Plus, more Audra McDonald v. Phylicia Rashad showdowns please. Who among us was not utterly charmed by where Peggy and Clock Twink ended up (separately, though that really would’ve thrown society for a loop if they had somehow gotten together!)

• I thought I was going to hate Bravo’s Next Gen NYC and I FUCKING LOOOOOOOOOOVED IT.

We gotta get Gia into the city if she’s to stay on this show. Riley + Ariana’s friendship truly moved me. Dame Dash’s daughter needs to give me more. Charlie is the worst but that means the best for our viewing pleasure. Of course, he thinks he’s Chuck Bass meets a Bret Easton Ellis character when he’s really a whiny rich brat who does crypto, has parents who don’t love him, and maybe has no soul. Delish. But Georgia is my fave for sure. That is absolutely a type of girl in NYC and I am very here for it. Brooks Marks is such an unexpected anxious delight and we thank the editors for all those inner monologue moments. Seth Marks, however, needs to stop acting youths about their sex lives. He’s so weird. Nobody wants to see you here, sir! We should have gotten a reunion!

• The Valley remains the darkest show Bravo has ever produced. I’m all in, but understand those who are very much not. As I’ve stated previously, I truly believe Jax is dangerous and possibly a family annihilator. Albeit one who can’t even name his burner account correctly. His reunion behavior was so gross and Bravo took too long to fire him, but he’s byeeeeeee now.

  

  Other brief notes:

  • I think maybe bad stuff happened to Danny when he was a child actor. Like, all that Quiet on the Set doc era trauma. Also, the child star to LA mega church pipeline remains strong.

  • I have never once had so much as a passing thought that I should be involved in one of my close friend’s proposal moments the way everyone on reality TV does. Unless you are specifically asked to help, I mean. That’s different. But otherwise, HUH?

  • I am very happy for Kristen and I stand with her against Janet. But Janet was good for the show. PS: Jason is not a good dude either, and I don’t mean all that wedding ring nonsense. This is the woman he chose and they also cut Jax ALL the slack. Barf.

  • Andy dressing Jesse down at the reunion over his thirsty-ass girlfriend was perfection.

  • I will never understand Zack’s hair.

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• On that dark reality-adjacent front, is anyone else embarrassingly riveted by this Real World Kelley + Bailey Salinger situation?

• The Buccaneers is better this season but still ridiculously absurd. No spoilers, but I had fun .

Blair Waldorf arrived as Joan from Mad Men’s younger sister. This pleased me greatly.

• Obviously I watched The Hunting Wives which made some real wild pacing choices and had terrible wig work on Malin Ackerman. But it was fun. It’s as soapy and ridiculous as I anticipated. Plus, I’ve been rooting for Brittany Snow since I was an OG American Dreams stan.

Here’s me and Katie Lowes back in the glory days of Scandal—and my broken hand.

• Project Runway is soooooooooo back, too. Law Roach’s cut-a-bitch energy and honestly has reinvigorated everyone else, including Nina. The casting is great for TV, if not for fashion overall. And it’s comforting to have Heidi back.

Now, Law Roach’s styling of that Travis GQ cover story shot by Ryan McGinley? Nahhhhh. A mess. Law is…not always the best stylist. There, I said it. My friend Elizabeth and I agree that it should have stayed more slutty beefcake like these two pics—and she adores Trav, which we know I do not.

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• I swear to Stevie I’ve had this Showgirls merch in a draft since Elizabeth Berkley posted it on her IG. It simply said, “Versayce merch tk” and had this post embedded. Now, my delay makes sense ❤️‍🔥 (in my head). You can peruse all the offerings here.

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• I love this guy so very much. One of my fave new(ish) follows on TikTok. He doesn’t know me, but he gets me.

• Is Gen Z going to be able to handle the brilliant cringe of Valerie Cherish?!? THE COMEBACK IS COMING BACK!!!!!!!!!!! I’m so damn excited. I have very little faith in Michael Patrick King right now, but all of it in Lisa Kudrow.

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• This Soulcycle podcast is pretty juicy and also felt like a retelling of my own life during that period. I miss that era so much sometimes.

Soul was my whole personality for a while (shocker!)

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• If you enjoy things that are joyful, specific, hilarious, and brilliantly executed and have not already watched the Las Culturistas Culture Awards, fire up Peacock and get on that ASAP.

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• As someone who is deeply connected the number 17, I concur.

And that feels like a perfect transition into the mania the tall blonde lady I like a lot hath wrought once again.

Let’s Show, Girls ❤️‍🔥

I still sorta can’t believe all the things that happened in the Swiftverse over the past week+. I don’t think I need to break down every minor detail and theory at this point. The Swifties know and if you’re not one and would like more info, hit me up in the comment section and I’ll go on and on and on.

Essentially, Taylor Nation threw up a post while I was on a reformer last Monday morning that was Easter egging all over the place in a way that felt VERY significant, with a 12 image carousel of Taylor in various orange attire from The Eras Tour (with the final shot being her and Sabrina Carpenter on stage together) and the caption, “Thinking about when she said “See you next era…” ❤️‍🔥”

Each album (or era) has its own color heart emoji. So…all of us started spinning out that TS12 was actually, like, now.

The thing is, when Taylor wants to drop clues, they are pretty straightforward (to a Swiftie). You will not need to do complicated math equations and such.

This was coordinated with a teaser (including orange sparkle) about a special guest on the Kelce pod (on the 13th!) I’d know that silhouette cutout anywhere…

A countdown began on Taylor’s website. I lost my mind. Made TikToks. You know, the usual drill.

On August 12 at 12:12 AM, a teaser clip from the pod dropped wherein Taylor pulls out her next album (cover blurred) and the TS12 era begins.

The Life of a Showgirl.

We’re working in a mint green + orange as our main palette.

When the pod dropped, we got the full visuals, shot by Mert + Marcus (who she also worked with on Reputation).

I don’t love this image, but that’s fine.

I like some of the others much more. And she looks hotttttt ❤️‍🔥

As soon as we hear the title, a Spotify playlist called “And, baby, that’s showbiz for you ❤️‍🔥” is published from Taylor with a number of her biggest pop bangers. Within minutes a Swiftie has discerned that each song on there was produced by Swedish pop gods, Max Martin + Shellback.

(I reproduced it for my fellow elite Apple Music girlies, natch. It’s here.)

At this point, it feels like I’ve done 47 lines of coke.

It’s me. Hi.

The pod airs the next evening and it’s two fucking glorious hours of listening to Taylor talk. I died dead. I kept saying/texting variations of “I wanna barf (complimentary)” all night long.

My friend Maria came over and bore witness to my own fangirl mania. Honestly it looked a lot like me watching a Pacers playoff game with all the pacing, crying, shouting, and occasionally collapsing to the ground.

We put the food out on the orange tray I happen to own.

My rings were specifically selected for the occasion, as per usual.

Speaking of rings, I have to get this now, right?

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Oh, and the album comes out on 10/3.

In keeping with my personality and just the mere fact that I’m still not quite coherent because this woman is so goddamn prolific and wonderful, here are a bunch of random musings, thoughts, and such from the past 8ish days—in no particular order:

• Swifties, we need to align that when we shorten this album title, we call it Showgirl, not TLOAS. TTPD worked as an acronym. This one does not. But goddamn how lucky are we?????????????

• I am still fully in the (possibly clown) camp that believes we will be getting a tour documentary along with this album. It’s all about the life she was having off the stage, so it makes perfect sense.

• The 47s are 47-ing. She used 47 twice on the podcast and it popped up during the vinyl variant drop on Monday. This means something. I have no doubt. (Ophelia does in face die in Act IV, Scene VII, which you can note for when we get to the tracklist.)

Like Taylor, I’m a numerology/signs in numbers person. I found an old high school paper I wrote recently called “All Things Are Numbers” fully about the topic. You are who you are from the jump. My lord.

Anyway, I’m also one of the biggest Alias nerds to ever exist. Here I am [redacted] years ago on my 35th birthday with the Arvin Sloane piñata my sister made for me, complete with Page 47 of the Rambaldi manuscript. I still have both.

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47 is VERY key to all the Rambaldi lore on Alias and pops up all the time on the show, in ways that Taylor likes to give lil winks and nods to parts of her lore, numerical and otherwise.

The aforementioned sister and I legit send each other photos of 47s in the wild all the time. Like on your gas pump or your inbox or your dryer, when you take clothes out after a few minutes to go onto the drying rack because you do laundry exactly how your mom did.

I have a whole batshit theory (for shits and giggles) that I need to put into a video too. It’s around Taylor being a fan + relating to Jennifer Garner’s double life on the show as a normal girl/spy in comparison vs. the onstage/offstage life of our titular Showgirl. There’s the JJ Abrams/Gracie Abrams of it all. Is SD-6 the media? Is the real CIA the fandom? She can name her next cat Sydney Bristow, in keeping with badass female TV characters.

Truth Takes Time, which IYKYK.

• The orange and mint green speaks to me. I have so much of it already in my apartment, which I walked around cataloging like a fucking psycho.

I’m an absurd person. I know this.

This isn’t even everything.

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• I just love her so so so so fucking much and I’m glad some casuals (and haters) got to learn how truly funny and adorably dorky and normal (given her life) she is. Along with being a straight-up one of one brain.

• But god dammit, she made me engage with the New Heights pod on so many levels. Her power.

• She was obviously very comfortable in this space with her boyfriend and his brother, but she’s great at talking about her work and self in general. This was longer than I’ve ever heard her talk in a setting similar to this (like a Zane Lowe chat) and it felt very intimate, which was the point. Please don’t think for a singular second that this interview wasn’t mapped out and edited extensively. That’s not shade and it doesn’t mean people weren’t being real or that answers were scripted. It’s just the way a superstar (and a Tree Paine) with this level of power and control of her image and brand is going to be. See also: Beyoncé and Yvette.

It was certainly way more interesting than the written equivalent of celebs interviewing each other for magazine cover stories.

For the majority of Swifties, myself 100000p included? It was everything. She gave so much more than I ever expected. We were FED. I could have done another 7-10 business days. It was quite compelling for a number of non-Swifties too.

She had all her hints curated, natch. I love that. This is just one set that ended up aligning to the album variants.

• Jason Kelce did a totally fine job, given all I’ve just discussed. I’ve got absolutely zero beef about how the pod went. In football parlance, I’d call him a game manager QB. I simply cannot have people on the internet earnestly shouting he’s a GOAT INTERVIEWER and the next Barbara Walters. Please kindly STFU and spend some time searching for your missing critical thinking cap.

• There are many places on the internet to swoon over every relationship moment from the pod. This ain’t one of them. But I’m not a heartless monster. Taylor and Travis are totally cute together and obviously very much in love. He will never be my thing (nor will the fucking Chiefs, ew, even when the Colts suck I’ll never leave them). Not that my opinion on this subject matters in the least. Her happiness, however, has always been a top priority. That will also never change.

• But, guys, he’s such a dummy. Albeit a nice + nice-looking one. (I understand that he is objectively “very handsome”.) Now, as I’ve said in the past, maybe my life looks different if I’d dipped my toe in the charming dingdong pool in a serious way. I did not and have no plans to do so in the future.

Travis is also a bit of a unicorn. You gotta be very tall, so excellent at your job that happens to pay you millions + involves focused hard work combined with a spotlight that energizes you, and have hella charisma to pull off what Travis has here. I get that it does something to a girl when the dude you’re into thinks your big brain and big words are hot hot heat.

But I’m the kind of person who let out some sort of horrified sound when, at one point, she cupped his chin and said, “You’re so handsome” while talking about what words he did or didn’t know. Or “you know what that means…he knows what words mean.” Or how “he hasn’t read Hamlet but I told him what happens.”

That’s a full flirt mode for both of them.

Their corny really seems to align. My corny is a different flavor. We don’t all share the same turn-ons and offs, which is great because how boring would it be if there was only one frequency of human? Also, since this is not my relationship and I don’t know these people personally.

My friend sent me this and just said, “Taylor.” So real.

I also can see how a person you describe as a “human exclamation point” is one you want around and fell in love with. Duh. That he brings up the vibes in every room is awesome7. I love those kind of guys! I just don’t typically find myself physically attracted to them in that boyfriend way unless there’s another layer of smarts (and it doesn’t have to be book smarts!) Though I also recognize that man definitely knows how to fuck, which I think we’ll probably hear about on this record in some form.

I am who I am, which doesn’t mean I’m right. Tortured still, I guess, about IRL romance. But also not even wanting to live that dating life AT ALL currently. It’s really blissful. And my outlook on most other things is often the opposite of tortured. Therapy is a hell of a drug.

Again, I’m very happy they seem so very happy.

• Travis and I are, in fact, aligned on loving Taylor Alison Swift, football, and otters. I know we don’t appropriate sp*r*t a*im*ls anymore (a fine thing!), but circa 2007 when we did, my friend/coworker Tanya said mine had to be an otter. Because we both have shiny coats, cute noses, and love the water AND the land. I concurred.

Great PR era for the otter! They definitely make the whole place shimmer.

• Every brand is already being the MOST annoying with the memes and the orange and mint and the clout-chasing. But there were many fun, unbranded moments, like this banger take on one of the main TS12 viral memes.

• I cried many times, but the biggest emotional daggers came when she talked about her dad’s surgery and how she found out she got her music back. Of course, Travis was playing video games. I told y’all “So High School” was just deadass what it’s like at his house. No metaphors needed.

• PS: True Swifties are not in the least pissed that our money helped get those masters back for her. We knew what we were doing the whole time and had a BLAST with the TVs and the vault tracks. Nobody needs to be outraged on our behalf. A whole lot of us are also capable of feeling joy around this album and outrage/heartbreak/anger etc over the horrors of our time.

Now, I’d like to respectfully and politely ask Andrea and Scott’s lovely daughter to simply consider not doing countdowns for album variants8 or merch drops during an active album cycle. It’s a just a thought sponsored by all of our nervous systems. You can be the biggest fan and not spend money on her drops if they bother you so.

Refer a friend

• Yes, I’ve seen the hoops people are jumping through with Super Bowl performance theories. Here’s where I’m at: Thematically this album makes a ton of sense for the SB + I think it’s going to be a massive hit. But, I bet the halftime show hasn’t been booked yet, just in general. I have a not-small amount of doubt that she’d do it this soon after the giantness of the Eras Tour and during what might very likely be Travis’s final season in the NFL. There’s no guarantee KC is there (please god not again) and things could be annoying for them if he is playing or if he isn’t. Not necessarily in their personal, private lives—but in the culture there would be so much BS and gross media. Also, the sourdough comments were the realest Taylor shit ever. She is the dorkiest of millennials and it’s a huge reason why we love her. That was not a false flag. That said, nothing is ever off the table with this woman and it’s one of the huge achievements she hasn’t added to her resumé yet. It certainly WILL happen at some point. I don’t know if now’s the moment.

• I am so fucking excited she’s working with the Swedes again. She confirmed on the pod that the whole album was done with just the three of them. Think the pop parts of Red, the entire vibe of 1989, loads of Reputation. This is what Max Martin, Shellback, and Taylor have already done together.

We’re getting a tight 12 songs (more on those titles in a sec) which is really thrilling. As a fellow data-dumper, I appreciate when Blondie goes loooooooong. But I GD love a tightly curated pop album like nobody’s biz. This woman is insane though—flying to Sweden in between Eras stops.

HOW IS SHE HUMAN?

Some non-Taylor music from Max Martin and/or Shellback you might know like the back of your hand:

…Baby One More Time, Oops, I Did It Again, I’m Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman, I Want It That Way, Can’t Feel My Face, I Kissed a Girl, Wide Awake, Teenage Dream, So What, Break Free, God Is a Woman, Can’t Stop the Feeling, Love Me Like You Do, Raise Your Glass, DJ Got Us Fallin’ in Love, Payphone, Kiss You, Heart Attack

And that’s just scratching the surface. I cannot fucking wait for these bangers of the happy, sexy, melancholy, and everything in between varieties.

• Which brings us to the tracklist. She didn’t take my advice from back in May, but she did essentially say “y’all do too much” when it comes to Easter eggs during the pod, so I’ll take it. People seriously need to learn the difference between one that is a clue and one that’s just a fun wink or nod for fans to discover.

Here’s the back cover where all was revealed. I’m so glad we didn’t have to wait long for this!

Initial notes on each:

1. The Fate of Ophelia

Listen, certain kinds of girlies are always going to be suckers for Ophelia imagery and themes. Taylor and I are two of them. I don’t care if it’s basic or whatever. I would pay money to hear what questions Travis asked while she told him about Hamlet.

2. Elizabeth Taylor

“And he can be my jailer, Burton to this Taylor” remains (to me) one of her most incredible lyrics. Back with the Swedes, back on that Taylor energy? I like it a lot.

My friend/fellow hardcore Swiftie/brilliant writer and editor, Rakesh, called out that it’s giving Furious Love and fuck yeah it is. He edited that INCREDIBLE book about Liz + Dick that I have recommended many times here over the years. I’ve read it twice and might be about due for a third.

3. Opalite

As an October baby, opal is my birthstone which is just so right for me. I didn’t know much about opalite (typically man-made) until last week. I dig the vibes I discovered around it and there’s lots more to dive into out there on Al Gore’s internet.

From Wiki:

When opalite glass is placed against a dark background, it appears to have a blue color. When placed against a light background, it is milky white with an orange or pink glow. Since it is glass, it may sometimes contain air bubbles, an after-effect of the forming process

From some site called Crystal Age, so judge that source as needed:

Opalite is a wonderfully serene crystal good for depression and relationships.

Opalite is a wonderfully serene crystal. It is a stone of love, but only rewards faithful lovers. It is said to help form lasting romantic bonds.

Opalite is believed to alleviate depression, soothe frayed nerves and help us to step away from anxiety. It is said to bring inner peace and a sense of calm in any situation.

4. Father Figure

When I heard there was speculation she’d sample George Michael here based on…just the name of the song and pop music, I guess? I harrumphed because I don’t think so, honey. If she does, that’s way too on the nose for me. I told my friend I was sorta embarrassed even thinking about it. But that’s just me. And I reserve the right to change my mind if she does, and it’s a bop 🙃.

5. Eldest Daughter

Um. Yeah. So for the uninitiated, Track 5s are very important in Taylor’s discography and in our fandom. It’s typically the most lyrically vulnerable, emotional song on any given album. This doesn’t mean they’re all slow or crazy sad, btw. But always personal and deeply significant, both to her and to many of us.

Here are all the previous Track 5s along with the lyrical section I find most devastating today, so you’ll understand why I AM FUCKED (complimentary again) on October 3.

• Taylor Swift: “Cold As You”

You have a way of coming easily to me
And when you take, you take the very best of me
So I start a fight 'cause I need to feel something
And you do what you want 'cause I'm not what you wanted

• Fearless: “White Horse”

'Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't our fairytale
I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well
This is a big world, that was a small town
There in my rear view mirror disappearing now
And it's too late for you and your white horse
Now, it's too late for you and your white horse
To catch me now

• Speak Now: “Dear John”

You are an expert at sorry and keeping the lines blurry
Never impressed by me acing your tests
All the girls that you've run dry have tired lifeless eyes
'Cause you burned them out
But I took your matches before fire could catch me
So don't look now
I'm shining like fireworks over your sad empty town

• Red: “All Too Well”

And maybe we got lost in translation
Maybe I asked for too much
But maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up
Running scared, I was there
I remember it all too well

And you call me up again just to break me like a promise
So casually cruel in the name of being honest
I'm a crumpled up piece of paper lying here
'Cause I remember it all, all, all too well

• 1989: “All You Had to Do Was Stay”

People like you always want back the love they gave away
And people like me wanna believe you when you say you've changed
The more I think about it now, the less I know
All I know is that you drove us off the road

• Reputation: “Delicate”

Third floor on the West Side, me and you
Handsome, you're a mansion with a view
Do the girls back home touch you like I do?
Long night, with your hands up in my hair
Echoes of your footsteps on the stairs
Stay here, honey, I don't wanna share
'Cause I like you

• Lover: “The Archer”

I've been the archer
I've been the prey
Who could ever leave me, darling?
But who could stay?
(I see right through me, I see right through me)

• Folklore: “my tears ricochet”

You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same
Cursing my name, wishing I stayed
You turned into your worst fears
And you're tossing out blame, drunk on this pain
Crossing out the good years

• Evermore: “tolerate it”

While you were out building other worlds, where was I?
Where's that man who'd throw blankets over my barbed wire?
I made you my temple, my mural, my sky
Now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life

• Midnights: “You’re On Your Own, Kid”

I hosted parties and starved my body
Like I'd be saved by a perfect kiss

• The Tortured Poets Department: “So Long, London”

You swore that you loved me but where were the clues?
I died on the altar waiting for the proof
You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days
And I'm just getting color back into my face
I'm just mad as hell cause I loved this place

For so long, London
Had a good run

So yeah, the eldest daughters are cooked. And this fandom is fucking filled with them. I made this a year ago this week after my first Wembley Eras show.

This monster. I love her diaobolical ass. One thing about eldest daughters is we very much don’t feel seen. Except by fellow eldest daughters, including Taylor Alison Swift.

Triple (at minimum) that feeling if you’re Gen X/elder Millennial

A sampling of what was going on in real time upon learning about this song.

My question posed here remains:

Help, slash I can’t wait.

6. Ruin the Friendship

People are trying to say this will be about Blake and that feels too obvious to me on the surface. But also, this phrase feels more romance trope than friendship betrayal. I could be wrong. This woman did write an absolute dagger of a song about John Mayer called “Dear John”.

7. Actually Romantic

Is this going to be about all the small things that don’t feel like out of a romance novel, or an early Taylor Swift song?

8. Wi$h Li$t

If she wants to bring some peak Ke$ha energy to a track, I won’t complain.

9. Wood

I absolutely think this album is going to be pretty horny. I don’t know if she’ll be so direct about wood innuendos, however.

10. CANCELLED!

LFG, MY PETTY QUEEN. LET’S FUCKING GO.

11. Honey

Honey feels super horned up, right? Smut-tastic perhaps?

12. The Life of a Showgirl (feat. Sabrina Carpenter)

A glittery glistening banger or a melancholy bop? I could see it going either way. Also, I’m seeing Sabrina in Nashville on Nov. 5. Just saying. And…HAIM in Nashville. 9/309. which adds up to 12. And is the week the album drops. Not that I won’t be in heaven at all of those shows seeing the people I bought the tix to see.

I’m still spinning. I feel so alive. As always, thank you Taylor 🫶💋❤️‍🔥✨. Is it October 3 yet?

And thank YOU for your patience + your kindness + all that jazz. You’re the bestest.

I love you like a Taylor Track 5.

xA

PS: If there’s anything you want to discuss further from the time I was away (or Taylor lol), let me know in the comments or a message and I’ll get right on top of that, Rose.

Lord knows I’ve been trying to write this for a minute now.

I mentioned last week I was working on a post about the Pacers and the beauty of community through fandom—a core pillar of We Have Notes, the class I teach at IU, and my own actual life, natch. This is (hopefully) that, but also…maybe more? It’s definitely a fuck ton of words.

Who am I without a sidebar and/or a side quest? Plus, the way it all ended had me processing differently, for sure.

At first, I was in a grief fog. Now I realize I might also have subconsciously been putting it off because once I finished writing, this magical, mystical ride of a basketball season would be well and truly over. I wasn’t quite ready to say goodbye. I will be missing it always and that would have been true even if we’d won.

But I’m a real tough kid, I can handle my shit…lights, camera, bitch write! Right?

The Venn diagram of pop culture fandoms that intersect here in the WHN community is more than I could have hoped for and it should surprise not a singular regular reader (or friend of mine) that I’ve been using my other myriad fandoms to help ease my pain. I don’t know any other way to be. But maybe that also gives more entry points to this post for those who didn’t watch a second of the NBA playoffs.

So, yes, it all culminates in a playlist. And I’ve played this clip 10000000x to self-soothe since Game 7.

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I don’t think my fan experience was unique, but I do take pride in trying to contextualize it all in a way that either makes somebody else feel seen, or perhaps gives some insight into an unhinged fan—of anything—in your own life.

My heart is broken, my gut wrenched for my beloved Pacers—especially our young superstar, Tyrese Haliburton, who fell to the ground with a blown Achilles during the first quarter of what was shaping up to be an absolutely epic Game 7 of the NBA Finals against the Oklahoma City Thunder.

A tragic ending to a magical run.

We all knew right away what it was.

If I was betting on how many texts came out of the greater Indianapolis area with some variation of “That’s the fucking Achilles isn’t it?”, “Tell me I’m wrong in what I’m thinking I saw ripple up his calf,” or simply “nonononononononoonnononono,” I would automatically take the over.

Maybe you’re not a basketball person, or a sports person at all. Not to fear, I’m not here to write a breakdown1 of the Xs and Os or a referendum on officiating in the NBA. Though this mad woman wouldn’t mind one last “fuck you, forever” to Scott “The Extender” Foster for his nasty work in Game 4.

Just as I will never come from the perspective of a music critic when I discuss a new album, I am not a professional sports analyst. Forever a fangirl at my core, the focus is on the emotions, the layers, the invisible strings.

Love, loyalty, pride, grief, elation, devastation, connection.

These are universal feelings. You don’t need to be a Sporty Spice or a Pacers fan to relate.

But seriously, how could the sports gods do this to Hali2 after what had transpired in every round to get the Pacers here?

All the massive, unheard of comebacks. The “WHAT THE HALI? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?” game winners that the “overrated” 25-year-old kept making round after round. Every time people thought, “There’s no way…” the Pacers found one. Togther.

To land in Game 7 of the motherfucking NBA Finals? What a dream.3 A level nobody except that glorious band of brothers, the coaching staff/organization, and this fandom thought they could achieve.

In 49 states, it’s just basketball. But this is Indiana.

Nothing could be more true, but we’ve still never won an NBA4 title. We haven’t been in the Finals since 20005—and never a Game 7. Those are rare, but we were there, goddamit.

Along the way, you could see this team changing hearts and minds in real time because they were just so damn fun to watch. The bandwagon was open for business. The ending was so devastating, people who hate the Pacers couldn’t even be mean about it in the comments sections.

I loved that as much as I enjoyed calling ignorant online NBA bros “soft”. They enjoy that kind of engagement on their posts so much 😉.

It wasn’t about US as we watched in stunned silence as James Johnson did the most JJ thing ever and helped carry his teammate, his lil bro, off the court.

It was about Ty6 and the team.

But this beautiful group kept fighting until the clock hit zero, just as they’d done through this entire run. Even leading at the half! A lesson in never giving up. Those boys apologized to the fans and to the city through tears after the game, but nothing could have been less necessary. WE ARE THE PROUDEST.

Every time I thought about their hearts and minds, I hurt more.

This will probably go down as my personal biggest sports what if?7 And I’m just a fan. Albeit one who has never been able to not feel stuff like this in the deepest parts of her soul and has quite literally broken a bone watching one of her teams play.

“I knew you’d linger like a tattooed kiss, I knew you’d haunt all of my what ifs…”8

I drowned myself in sad TikTok edits—and live bidding during an online estate sale9—the day after.

Don McLean! Come on!!!

Listen, judge me all you want. It’s fair…but Morgan Wallen has some good ass songs and this Tok took me out.

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I hope to live a very long time and I know the years will be filled with many highs and lows as a sports fan—and definitely a title for the ‘Cers. But I’ve been around long enough to understand it’s unlikely I’ll experience something quite like this again.

That’s how special this season was.

Lightning in a bottle, indeed10.

I’ve taken to recording little vlogs and voice notes for myself lately, with no plans to do anything with them in particular other than revisit them myself. I think of it much like I do my Instagram Stories—as a sort of personal journal that maybe somebody else will enjoy. But I am also the girl who actually DOES rewatch her shitty concert videos all the time and would absolutely feel compelled to relive the pain of June 22, 2025.

There is video to these, but maybe I’m not comfortable getting quite THAT vulnerable. The extracted audio was recorded just before + after 11 PM on that fateful night.

Sad Abby, Pt I11

Sad Abby, Pt II

I think I was mentally prepared for a lot of endings, but not this one.

Even knowing the calf strain »»» Achilles tear pipeline. I was gonna be devastated if we lost, be it by blowout or last minute shot. But this? Hali going down in the first—losing him for the entirety of next season. When he’s just 25 and gave it ALL for us and his teammates. Knowing this meant there was a good chance the band would never be together again because this is how it goes in the NBA12? I wasn’t ready.

To use another quote I go to often (from Vanilla Sky): “The sweet is never as sweet without the sour.” Sure, true. But this felt too cruel, especially to Tyrese. Even still, as I believe I said on my Stories at some point, I don’t think we’d change a thing that didn’t involve an Achilles or Scott Foster in Game 4.

It’s not often you get to feel like you’re living inside the movie (or fanfic) version of the thing you love so dearly. But that’s absolutely what the past couple months have felt like for me, my hometown, and the rest of this awesome fandom.13

Many times along the way, I’d hear Beyoncé’s voice in my head singing, “Have you ever had fun like this?” NO, NO I HAVE NOT, MY QUEEN14.

Our season started out rough, to say the least. We were 10-15 at one point, but come January the Pacers turned into a serious problem for the league. Real ones knew that we could make some shit happen in the playoffs, but my god the voices against us were loud.

Then you throw in the whole “players voted Tyrese the most overrated in the NBA” narrative. Media literacy would lead one to learn that not even that many players voted, but it matters not. The ‘Cers fandom thanks each one because our guy took that personally and shoved it back in everyone’s faces round after round, clutch moment after clutch moment.

This team collectively let ‘em know. Again and again and again. With a beautiful, electric style of play. A deep love of the game and each other…and the city of Indianapolis, the whole state of Indiana. They know the lore—and that much of this fandom, myself included, lived through a whole lot of it and never left the team’s side.

I mean, the only time I got myself into a lil trouble with the law15 was after the original Reggie Miller choke celly game. And #31, our forever guy, was on the call for all of the Eastern Conference Finals16 in a redux of Hicks v Knicks, but make it 2025. He was there for every Finals game, along with so many of his former teammates and other ‘Cers of yore—dating back to the ABA days, when my Grandpa Harold was an OG season ticket holder.

He gave special love to the Malice at the Palace team through some jersey choices.

That team also happened to be coached by the legendary Rick Carlisle, now in his second time around here in Indy. You can start to understand how much it felt like the stars were finally aligning. Hell, we won the ECF on May 31 and Game 7 was the literal anniversary of the day Reggie was drafted.

That camaraderie and reverence for team history is not performative. Those guys ride hard for the Pacers and are held in the highest esteem by the organization and all of us.

THIS is Indiana basketball. Reg is here alllll the time. That man loves a bike ride on the Monon like nobody’s biz. To see him giving hugs in the hallway17 as the players came off the court after Game 7 was everything, but unsurprising to any Pacers fan.

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It’s a bit hard to explain how deeply woven into the fabric of our lives and the city of Indianapolis the Pacers are. It’s part of the reason why I struggled to really talk to anyone who wasn’t a hard core fan for a few days after Game 7. I just couldn’t handle hearing anything (no matter how nice) from people who didn’t GET IT.

That may sound silly to some, but I guess my wish is for everyone to love something sooooooo much that its ending can crush you at least once in life. Not permanently, but crush no less.

I know, I know…Every team has a unique relationship with its city and their fans. However, this is where I think the “small” market of it all matters, in the best way.

Everything here is kinda normie. I love that for us.

The players are, of course, huge celebs, but they’re integrated into daily life in a way that does feel different. I’m guessing people in OKC would feel similarly. We were on the same side of that narrative!!

Tyrese lives in a neighborhood I’ve known people in my whole life. It’s super nice, but not out of touch or out of reach. One of my nephews ended up playing 2-on-2 with Obi and JJ the day before we dropped 80 on the Cavs in the first half…at Obi’s house, down the street from his little best buddy. They wandered over and got welcomed into a bday party for one of the Toppin cuties. My dad volunteers as a starter at a golf course where Obi plays pretty often and he’s always a real gem to Gary G. Andrew Nembhard, Ben Sheppard, and Bennedict Mathurin frequent my fav downtown restaurant: The Garden Table on Mass Ave, a casually chic spot owned by dear family friends/besties of my bro and sis-in-law/giant Pacers fans—as evidenced by this shot from the Game 6 broadcast. Def hit it up for breakfast/brunch/lunch if ever you’re in town.

The thing about a city like Indianapolis is we’ve never been under the impression we have the same things to offer as a massive place like NYC or LA. But that doesn’t mean we have NO things….she writes from her giant apartment, the rent for which doesn’t suck up all her money every month.

We’re not trying to be you all, by the way. I say this as someone who considers herself both a coastal elite and a proud Midwesterner. I’ve clocked plenty of time living both of those lifestyles. They are both extremely me.

I revel in good ole sports shit-talk and nothing is more fun for me than the reboot of the Hicks v. Knicks rivalry of my youth. But there was SO much out-of-pocket nonsense yapping. And boy oh boy did some people dish it out only to find they couldn’t take it.

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So you’re damn right if you think I’ve always had a defensive chip on my shoulder about my hometown18. Boy did it fire up during the playoffs.

People who lack wit and creativity to cling to “there’s nothing to do in Indiana” insults like the low-hanging fruit that it is. YAWN. Oh, you think we’ve never heard that before? GTFO.

That’s like thinking you’re insulting me by saying Taylor Swift isn’t the best dancer. Um, did you think we were here for the dancing? Please.

Nobody knows this state and this city’s flaws better than, um, the people who actually live here/are from here. I have never been afraid to call them out and that’s not changing. It’s very, I can talk shit about my family, but if you do…get the fuck ready. Because you don’t know all the great things.

My friend Bonnie once asked me a million years ago if everybody from Indy was this proud and I was like, um, a lot of us are but I am generally a woman of extremes and intense protectiveness over the people, places, and things that I love.

And for the record, Indianapolis is the 16th largest city in the US—and a blue dot in a red state with a diverse population. Fuck off to the people who act like Indy isn’t a city, that there’s nary a piece of culture to be found, that only white people live here. It’s insulting and telling when you can’t come up with anything original to say. Let’s not act like MAGA hasn’t infested every single state in the union, either. We have a lot of bullshit, but we’re not alone.

See? I’m all chippy again. But when you’re in the flyovers, it can be like that. I have very close friends with no idea how geographically close this state is to New York. It’s embarrassing (for them), but true.

When your team is fighting that same disrespect—but make it basketball—on the national stage and proving everyone wrong about their assumptions? It means a whole goddamn lot.

When you get to see your city shine at what it does best—hosting big events and knowing hoops—it feels gooooooooooood and validating. I love showing Indy off. The same pride coursed through me when we got an Eras Tour weekend, which was essentially like hosting a Super Bowl. Cities bigger than ours did NOT. Just sayin’.

People come for a game or the race or Blondie and almost always leave thinking Indy and its people are not what they expected, in a cool way.

So, yeah, in these dark ass times, it was fun as hell to have a bright golden light shining through the city. Everyone dressed in gold and blue. Chatting with strangers in line for a coffee (or a DC, in my case). Walking out of any store with a “Go ‘Cers!” and hearing it echoed back. I really miss the monoculture sometimes, when everyone at least feels like they’re on the same page, culturally.

For a couple months, we were living in this a beautiful bubble of community and unity. That doesn’t mean it was utopia or that we were oblivious to issues big and small, here and elsewhere. But we were one for our team.

Even the Yes ‘Cers motto for the year felt like a nod to us, the fans. That’s inside lingo that we took outside to play this season.

It gave us all SO much pride to share our ‘Cers with the basketball world. To let them in on why we already knew how special this team was on and off the court. Why the Pacers are such a fantastic organization and an integral part of our city, whose growth since the ‘80s was quite literally built around sports.

Sure, not everyone is as much of a lunatic fan as I am, but even the least sporty of folk here are all in for the Pacers. That’s even more meaningful in 2025 when our country is divided AF and we are all much more isolated in general because of tech and algorithms.

At its best, fandom brings real human connection.

You’re texting with your fellow fan friends and fam more often, speaking the same language. You’re reconnecting. You’re remembering the nostalgic moments from seasons past, perhaps featuring loved ones who aren’t here anymore, but would have loved the shit out of this season 🥹. You’re checking in on your people because my god none of these games came easy—and they’re checking in on you. You get to see a new generation of fans come into their own, in the same way you once did.

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This is my little brother with Reggie and Detlef Schrempf back in the day. I mean it when I say the Pacers are a part of so many Hoosier family memories. Now Nick has kids around that age who love the team just as much. It’s just the coolest.

To do Game 6 with that guy is a forever core memory for me.

What a gift to get to experience this run with his boys. We know I love cross-generational fandom like nothing else.

I cried pretty hard thinking of them after Ty got hurt, but I’m still so glad they inherited the fan gene. It’s gonna be a ride, but I happen to think the pain is worth it in the end. His middle (he of the Obi pickup game) told me he had to go in the other room after it happened and cried so hard he had to change his jersey. His oldest wrote the sweetest note for “#0 the Hero” that included the line, “Remember to do it for Tyrese, if you get better, he will heal faster.”

I can’t think of a better hero for him to emulate on and off the court. Same goes for Obi and TJ and Spicy P and Myles and Nemby and the Bens and the rest of the crew.

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I got to host a friend from elementary school and her husband who came in for a game—and share it with one of my nearest and dearest I met more recently, but who loves the Pacers just as deeply. Happy Abby indeed!

ALWAYS GO TO THE SHOW, WHICH IS SOMETIMES A BASKETBALL GAME.

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I hope we can carry this feeling with us, Indy. I’ve never experienced anything quite like what we all just lived through, but it’s a version of the high I chase going to live shows of my faves. The letdown is totally similar to post-concert depression, too.

I keep thinking of the lil doc Harry released at the end of Love On Tour and the community and the acceptance that comes when you’re all in a place for the same joyful reason. Though, Pacers games are hella harder on ye olde nervous system.

“It’s such a different atmosphere and you can feel it when you walk in. In a room full of strangers you can feel like you’re really in a family….and that doesn’t end just because the tour’s ending. That’s always going be there.”

When you know you’re A Lot™ and have been told you were too much countless times over the course of your life, fandom can be a place that feels so safe.

Everyone19 in that space or bubble (online and off) is either leading with the same kind of passionately unhinged intensity—or they’re comfortable with it, even if more reserved. There should be a sign flashing, “BIG FEELINGS WELCOME HERE.” You shout and sing and scream in unison, aligned in your goals, and looking out for each other when things are happy and when they’re sad.

To have that with your hometown, your family, your friends in 2025…it feels heaven sent.

I want to bottle up those feelings and pass them around, just as I did the ones from HSLOT or Eras. The world would be a whole lot better if more people felt these feels. This I know. I watched our city and the people in it reap the benefits.

The 2024-25 Indiana Pacers WILL be remembered.

I’ll never be able to thank them enough for what they gave to us. We were so lucky. I can’t believe they were ours.

@oemzzynever recovering 😭😭😭 #gopacers #weshouldvewonthat #fokc #heartbroken #indy

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If you’ve made it this far into an opus nobody requested, thank you.

You all have created a space where I feel like I can be so sincerely myself, even if that means more words than you ever wanted about the Pacers playoff run or The Tortured Poets Department. It’s a real gift and my therapist and I are both v. grateful.

In true me form, I made an annotated playlist that was also a part of processing all the emotions and paying tribute to this magical team. You’ll find it listed out below—and avail on Apple Music (including songs referenced earlier in this post.) Ed Note: I might be convinced to make a Spotify version if you’re really nice. I’ll be accepting requests for songs to add, too.

To all of you who had never cheered for the Pacers before, but fell a little bit in love with them this spring/early summer or just sent victory vibes because you knew it mattered to your girl, I’ll never forget that either 💛.

Thanks for always letting me be me.

xA

PS: If you want to send a note to Hali, a man who came out of the locker room on crutches to embrace every one of his teammates after Game 7, that’d be super cool too. The Pacers set up a digital bulletin board or you can send snail mail:

Indiana Pacers - Hearts for Hali
125 S Pennsylvania St
Indianapolis, IN 46204

I can’t tell you how happy it made all of us to see him smiling and joking in posts from his awesome girlfriend, Jade. Plus, they’ve got the cutest pup to cheer him up when he needs it. He’s got a whole fandom behind him forever, too.

++++++++++++++++

Yes ‘Cers 4EVA

• Long Live by Taylor Swift

No song is more perfect for all that transpired than this one. I cried again pulling the YouTube video and pasting in the lyrics below. No notes.

I said remember this moment
In the back of my mind
The time we stood with our shaking hands
The crowds in stands went wild
We were the kings and the queens
And they read off our names
The night you danced like you knew our lives
Would never be the same
You held your head like a hero
On a history book page
It was the end of a decade
But the start of an age

Long live the walls we crashed through
How the kingdom lights shined just for me and you
I was screaming, "Long live all the magic we made"
And bring on all the pretenders
One day we will be remembered

I said remember this feeling
I passed the pictures around
Of all the years that we stood there on the sidelines
Wishing for right now
We are the kings and the queens
You traded your baseball cap for a crown
When they gave us our trophies
And we held them up for our town
And the cynics were outraged
Screaming, "This is absurd"
'Cause for a moment, a band of thieves
In ripped up jeans got to rule the world

Long live the walls we crashed through
How the kingdom lights shined just for me and you
I was screaming, "Long live all the magic we made"
And bring on all the pretenders, I'm not afraid
Long live all the mountains we moved
I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you
I was screaming, "Long live that look on your face"
And bring on all the pretenders
One day we will be remembered

Hold on to spinning around
Confetti falls to the ground
May these memories break our fall

Will you take a moment?
Promise me this
That you'll stand by me forever
But if, God forbid, fate should step in
And force us into a goodbye
If you have children someday
When they point to the pictures
Please tell them my name
Tell them how the crowds went wild
Tell them how I hope they shine

Long live the walls we crashed through
I had the time of my life with you
Long, long live the walls we crashed through
How the kingdom lights shined just for me and you
And I was screaming, "Long live all the magic we made"
And bring on all the pretenders, I'm not afraid
Singing long live all the mountains we moved
I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you
And long, long live the look on your face
And bring on all the pretenders
One day, we will be remembered

• Small Town by John Mellencamp

No, I cannot forget from where it is that I come from
I cannot forget the people who love me
Yeah, I can be myself here in this small town
And people let me be just what I want to be

• Yellow by Coldplay

Look at the stars
Look how they shine for you
And everything you do
Yeah, they were all yellow

• Scarlet Begonias by Grateful Dead

Wind in the willow's playin' "Tea For Two"
The sky was yellow, and the Sun was blue
Strangers stoppin' strangers, just to shake their hand
Everybody's playing in the heart of gold band, heart of gold band

• This Is How We Do It by Montell Jordan

This is how we do it, all hands are in the air
And wave them from here to there
If you're an OG mack or a wanna-be player
You see the hood's been good to me
Ever since I was a lower case G
But now I'm a big G

• Birds of a Feather by Billie Eilish

Birds of a feather, we should stick together, I know
I said I'd never think I wasn't better alone
Can't change the weather, might not be forever
But if it's forever, it's even better

And I don't know what I'm cryin' for
I don't think I could love you more
It might not be long, but baby, I
I'll love you 'til the day that I die

• Catch These Fists by Wet Leg

Can you catch a medicine ball?
Can you catch yourself when you fall?
You should be careful, do you catch my drift?
'Cause what I really wanna know is can you catch these fists?

I know all too well just what you're like
I don't want your love, I just wanna fight

• Single Ladies by Beyoncé

I need no permission, did I mention?
Don't pay him any attention

• Children’s Story by Slick Rick

• WTHELLY by Rob49

What the Heliantte?
What the helly on?
What the helly Berry?
What the helly 'Burton?
What the helly 'Bron James?
What the helly Cyrus?

• Play That Funky Music White Boy by Wild Cherry

• Hard to Handle by The Black Crowes

Baby, here I am, I'm the man on the scene
I can give you what you want, but you gotta come home with me
I've got some good old lovin', and I got some more in store
When I get through throwin' it on you, you got to come back for more

Boys and things that come by the dozen
That ain't nothin' but drugstore lovin'
Hey, little thing, let me light your candle
'Cause, Mama, I'm so hard to handle now

• Everything Is AWESOME (From The LEGO Movie) by Tegan and Sara

Everything is awesome
Everything is cool when you're part of a team
Everything is awesome
When we're living our dream

We’re gonna miss you big time, big guy.

• Spice Up Your Life by the Spice Girls

When you're feelin' sad and low
We will take you where you gotta go
Smilin', dancin', everything is free
All you need is positivity

Colours of the world
Spice up your life
Every boy and every girl
Spice up your life
People of the world
Spice up your life

• Golden by Harry Styles

I can feel it take a hold
I can feel you take control
Of who I am and all I've ever known
Lovin' you's the antidote
Golden

• Top That by the cast of Teen Witch

I'm king, and they know it
When I snap my fingers, everybody say show it
I'm hot, and you're not
But if you wanna hang with me, I'll give it one shot
Top that, top that
You can give all that you can, but you will never top that
Top that, top that
You can dream until you're blue but you can never top that

• Follow You, Follow Me by Genesis

With the dark
Oh, I see so very clearly now
All my fears are drifting by me so slowly now
Fading away
I can say
The night is long but you are here
Close at hand, oh, I'm better for the smile you give

• You’ve Got a Friend by James Taylor

If the sky above you
Grows dark and full of clouds
And that old north wind begins to blow
Keep your head together
And call my name out loud
Soon you'll hear me knockin' at your door

You just call out my name
And you know, wherever I am
I'll come runnin', runnin', yeah, yeah
To see you again
Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there, yes, I will

We are now entering the cry it out with Taylor portion of the program which is a part of every grief journey I’ve ever had. I put the non-Long Live tracks at the end for those of you who are less interested than others lol.

• Down Bad

Did you really beam me up?
In a cloud of sparkling dust
Just to do experiments on
Tell me I was the chosen one
Show me that this world is bigger than us
Then sent me back where I came from
For a moment I knew cosmic love

Now I'm down bad crying at the gym
Everything comes out teenage petulance
"Fuck it if I can't have him"
"I might just die, it would make no difference."
Down bad, waking up in blood
Staring at the sky, come back and pick me up
Fuck it I can't have us.
I might just not get up…

I loved your hostile takeovers
Encounters closer and closer
All your indecent exposures
How dare you say that it's -

• loml

Our field of dreams engulfed in fire
Your arson's match, your somber eyes
And I'll still see it until I die
You're the loss of my life

• Illicit Affairs

And you know damn well
For you, I would ruin myself
A million little times

• Hits Different

I find the artifacts, cried over a hat
Cursed the space that I needed
I trace the evidence, make it make some sense
Why the wound is still bleedin'
You were the one that I loved
Don't need another metaphor, it's simple enough
A wrinkle in time like the crease by your eyes
This is why they shouldn't kill off the main guy
Dreams of your hair and your stare and sense of belief
In the good in the world, you once believed in me
And I felt you and I held you for a while
Bet I could still melt your world
Argumentative, antithetical dream girl

• The 1

But we were something, don't you think so?
Roaring 20s, tossing pennies in the pool
And if my wishes came true
It would've been you
In my defense, I have none
For never leaving well enough alone
But it would've been fun
If you would've been the one

I, I, I persist and resist the temptation to ask you
If one thing had been different
Would everything be different today?

• Death by a Thousand Cuts

Saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts
Flashbacks waking me up
I get drunk, but it's not enough
'Cause the morning comes and you're not my baby
I look through the windows of this love
Even though we boarded them up
Chandelier's still flickering here
'Cause I can't pretend it's ok when it's not
It's death by a thousand cuts

I dress to kill my time
I take the long way home
I ask the traffic lights if it'll be all right
They say, "I don't know"
And what once was ours is no one's now
I see you everywhere
The only thing we share
Is this small town

You said it was a great love
One for the ages
But if the story's over
Why am I still writing pages?

14

But did I take your use of a sample from Rob 49’s “WTHelly” as a tacit endorsement of the Pacers over OKC? Absofuckinlutely. Plus, we all know Texans don’t root for Oklahomans.

@bopcheckBeyoncé used a snippet of Rob49’s “WTHELLY” during her ‘COWBOY CARTER’ show in London. 🎤

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16

We did get Kylie Jenner to the Midwest, too. You’re welcome for the content, internet.

I’m finally putting the finishing touches1 on this post mere hours before the tip-off of the biggest professional basketball game of my lifetime, after one of the most fun playoff runs the NBA has ever seen.

All by our Indiana Pacers.

ONEMOREONEMOREONEMOREONEMOREONEMOREONEMOREONEMORE.

The city of Indianapolis2 is palpably pulsing and has been for the past two months.

I’m both exhilarated and exhausted. I wouldn’t want it any other way. This is community through fandom at its finest and nobody does it better than Indy. I’m working on a post about all that this run has meant—no matter what happens tonight—so I’ll save some of my sappier shit for that.

But my goodness do I love this team. I fully wept this morning watching this video. Twice.

Thursday morning, I decided it was necessary for my brother and I to be at Game 6…and so we were.

Core memory formed.

ALWAYS GO TO THE SHOW (WHICH MIGHT BE A BASKETBALL GAME)

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Yes, Hoosiers on the big screen during a timeout. Duh.

I would just like to call out that we were in row 17 and ended up winning by 17. Witch shit maybe?!?

In case you3 need a few more reasons to hop on board for one last ride…

We have a coach who is a single mom and she is hella supported by the organization and her colleagues. Our head coach Rick Carlisle is a real one in a million ways.

Coach Jenny 🙌

Reggie. #31. Our forever guy.

But I wanted to make sure all the non-Pacers lifers (or those whose lives don’t date back to the 1900s) are aware that he had a local late night talk show in the ‘90s on WTHR.

It just so happens that on this day (June 22) in 1987, we drafted Reggie Miller with the 11th pick4—and everything changed.

TJ. McConnell.

Our two young superstars are besties and go on double dates with their significant others. Oh, and swap some hoops tips now and then.

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So, this is basically me rn. I apologize if there are extra typos I missed either in writing or editing. Blame it on the b-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-sketball.

All the focus on Indy got me thinking about what I’d be discussing if there was a We Have Notes segment about the city (and Indiana, in general) during the pre-game show5.

I think most people know that the Jackson family is from Gary, Indiana, David Letterman is from Indy, and that we host a big ass car race every Memorial Day Weekend.

But I thought I’d give those of you less familiar with Naptown a few more names of people who almost certainly know how to play Euchre—the Midwest card game of choice. You can throw them out during the game like you’re a clever girl, or boy.

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Fellow North Central High School Alums ❤️🖤

• Kenneth “Babyface” Edmunds6

• Augustus Waters from The Fault in Our Stars7

  • In fact, the gas station Gus goes to buy one of his symbolic pack of cigs near the end of the book is where I, too, oft bought (um, less symbolic) packs of cigs.

• Marc Summers, of Double Dare fame8

• Gary G, aka my dad

• Priyanka Chopra9

• Um, and Jared Fogle. Yes, Subway Jared. You gotta love the NCHS Wiki ⬇️

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Other boldface names of interest—to me and the culture—from Indy.

• Mike Epps, always + forever repping the ‘Cers

• Jane Pauley, a fellow Halloween-born Scorpio with a love for media

Here I am doing my first-person famous Hoosier presentation in fourth grade, as Jane who was then co-hosting the Today show. Shout-out to Dayle Jacqueline and Tim Otis for standing in as Jane and Garry Trudeau’s fraternal twins.

• Ryan Murphy, who I have some choice notes for later

• Kristina Wagner née Malandro

Frisco + Felicia 4EVA

ALL I NEEEEEEEEED. I can still sing every word. Do we need to rank famous soap opera love ballads from the ‘80s?!? Mayhaps.

• Trista Sutter

• Madam CJ Walker

  • If you don’t know about America’s first female self-made millionaire (as a Black woman at the turn of the century!!!), get thee to a research hole stat. Her imprint is all over this city and the world of beauty. She made her fortune on hair and cosmetics products for Black women.

• Joyce DeWitt, aka Janet from Three’s Company whose niece (or was she a cousin??) went to my high school.

• Abraham Benrubi who you may remember from Parker Lewis Can’t Lose or a little show called ER. My friend’s dad was high school bffs with his dad which was a very cool thing to young us when he appeared on our TVs.

  

Okay, we’ll move on from basketball to the things that have tried to tether me to some sort of sanity the last couple weeks.

All Over Me

Haim’s new album—I Quit—arrived on Friday and I am SO IN. Because I love it, and them, I want to wait until my brain isn’t NBA Finals mush before I properly write about it.

But get on it, if you haven’t listened already.

The Sisters Haim also dropped the MV for the latest banger of a single “All over me” on album release day—complete with paparazzi-inspired cover shot and another one of the internet’s boyfriend (Will Poulter) in the video.

Obsesssssssed with this song.

It took me a mere millisecond to recognize the inspo for the single art.

I have pretty much every public photo of Gwyneth and Brad catalogued in the recesses of my addled mind. I think about this photo ALL the time.

This would have been a dream situation for me. Can you imagine?!?

@chrisschramelA @haimtheband singalong in the streets of NYC on a Tuesday night?! SAY👏🏻LESS. #haim #iquit #haimtheband #nyc

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I Promise I’ll Believe

Speaking of Este, Danielle, and Alana, one of the earliest musical cues in the Amazon adaptation of E. Lockhart’s We Were Liars is “Forever” from their 2013 album Days Are Gone.

I loved this book SO much. I read it immediately when it came out in 2014 because I will always, always, always be a YA girlie. But I didn’t really remember the plot or the big twist. To be honest, so much of 2014 is really fuzzy for me because…deep grief. But I do know I recommended this book to everyone I knew for a spell.

I will not give away anything here and it was kinda great going into the series essentially fresh because I’m guessing if I had remembered more details or read the book more recently, I’d have many more nits to pick.

But basically, you’re going to a fancy, riche east coast locale a la Martha’s Vineyard with the Sinclair family and trying to figure out what went down during a summer that our main girlie, Cadence (Emily Allen Lynd), can no longer remember because of traumas both physical and emotional.

There’s a big old cast that includes…

One of the girls from the Gossip Girl reboot, a Gummer10, Caroline from Vampire Diaries, Serena from UnREAL S3, Ravi from iZombie who is also in lots of the brilliant Mike Flanagan horror series.

There are also some very heavy bangs and other questionable hair choices. I really don’t get so many of the decisions, not just based personal preferences but what I think would make sense for these characters in this timeframe. Now, I understand they needed to do some delineation to help us know which timeline we’re in. But OOF so many misses both conceptually and in execution.

This choppy ‘do is not a 2017 haircut, nor do I buy this character (Mirren, with the terrible fake hair above) having it then or now.

The bangs all go so far back on the head! Why????

If you mash up Cadence and Mirren, it’s giving the maddening hair from the lead detective on Cold Case—a show I absolutely watched as it aired and in reruns. I think about how confounding her hair styling was at least 4x a year.

So much styling up front and on top….tiny bun or pony in back. Confusion pour moi.

Anyway, I binged the eight episodes and didn’t have a bad time. Though I feel like yet again we have a show that is tonally in a lot of different places. We’ve got some strong performances and some that are less so, but I would definitely recommend a watch if you’re looking for something with some mystery and (at least wannabe) big feels.

That said, adaptations are hard. Especially with twists and timelines. A book works better in that way, so there’s always that option too. Did anyone else watch yet?

And Just Like That…Yep, It Can Get Worse

I was chatting with a friend the other day who said she might be done with this terrible show. I totally get it—and that was before this week’s god awful ep. AJLT is indeed becoming more insufferable by the day, but I’m still hate-watching away. I reserve the right to change my mind on a moment’s notice however. You do whatever feels right for you.

Below, a mixed bag of haterade statements/questions/concerns from eps 3.4 and 3.5.

Stabby

• Is Aidan fucking MAHA? Because that’s what he’s giving with this whole Adderall storyline though at least it isn’t that Rosemarie DeWitt is addicted because that’s one thought I had after she called Carrie for pills (WHAT?) for Wyatt. That toxic ass motherfucker. How’s Team Aidan doing these days? You all should be ashamed.

• Wyatt. Everything about Wyatt. They didn’t give this kid one redeemable quality and I do not watch this show to see Aidan’s family dysfunction.

• Evergreen: Aidan’s words and delivery of said words, .

  • The way he talks to his kids, calls his son “Tater”, and makes jokes like “Goober, Hillbilly Uber” is vomit-inducing.

• Carrie sleeping in the guest house at Aidan’s yet referring to her place in Gramercy as “theirs” “ours” what the fuck ever. No, it’s YOURS, Carrie.

• So Aidan just has his kids painting the guest house in the morning when he knows Carrie’s in there and wouldn’t let her sleep with him because he hadn’t laid out the plans for his teen and up sons the night before? Jesus. Also, does he think he’s Mr. Miyagi?

• I am totally fine suspending disbelief for many of my programs, but on what planet would Seema not know how old her business partner is? Her name is on the GD door which also makes it so weird that the old man could sell anything without speaking to her or that someone would want to buy it but not include this person we’ve been led to believe is one of the best in the biz. I cannot.

Irked

• Why is everyone’s bed so small??? These people are rich and you don’t even have to be to sleep in a queen or a king.

• Wait, so Carrie and Seema didn’t go get their luggage out of the rental car last week? Then why was it dark by the time they got to dumb Aidan’s dumb house?

• Miranda’s Buzzfeed era meme. It’s not that deep girl, but it’s also not 2012.

• Inviting people over to an apartment in NYC that isn’t yours and doesn’t have furniture. It’s Manhattan. Just go out.

• This.

• SATC was built on many a clever (and corny) pun or metaphor but they are hitting us over the head too hard on AJLT. I hate it so much.

  • Seema and the “don’t go back” sign almost sent me into a huge rage spiral

  • Oh, are there things unsaid in LTW’s marriage? Is that why she’s talking in her sleep. Because my god what a dumb storyline. I at least thought she was going to mumble something about the hot new editor. NOPE.

• Is Harry gonna have prostate cancer? Is that where we’re going with peeing himself and not being able to get it up?

Sure, Okay

• Apples to Apples — a banger of a game.

• Bob, Aidan’s ex Kathy’s boyfriend. I’m with Bob.

Other Things That Made Me Chippy

I’m on the edge of, um, everything right now. And I’m more feisty than usual after two months of having people come for my basketball team and my city.

• The moral panic and pearl clutching and slut/kink-shaming of both the low and high key varieties over the new Sabrina Carpenter album cover is pretty embarrassing. Especially when so many people don’t know how to properly use a term like male gaze or, frankly, feminism.

I did refrain from popping off in so many comments section though and that calls for another of my go-to MVP: GIFs…

My algorithm at least brought me some generally like-minded folk.

@hallehalllelike yall the same people who was screaming about a brat summer and loving her lil positions on tour make up your minds #sabrinacarpenter #sabrina #manchild #fyp #madonna

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@girlsgirleEDITED bc upon reflection/feedback i worded the caption poorly: would there be backlash if doechii had the same album cover? yes. BUT would the backlash involve language like “abuse” and “victim”? i don’t think so. that’s what my caption was alluding to. ORIGINAL CAPTION FOR ACCOUNTABILITY: yall wouldn’t be nearly as mad if it was doechii and imma leave it at that #sabrinacarpenter #fyp #mansbestfriend #xyzbca #popculture #womanism #feminism

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• HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO CBK?

As I’m sure many of you saw, the first images from Ryan Murphy’s American Love Story series about JFK Jr. and Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy emerged and they were…an abomination.

What a fucking mess. I was and am furious. So is every fashion and costume design person I know.

How can you miss this hard???

The hair is so deeply wrong in many ways, but most dramatically, the color. Carolyn’s hair was not an icy blonde AT ALL. One of my very first thoughts was, “OMG, what must Brad Johns think?”11

I was so glad to see that Vogue got him on the horn. This is the kind of story I would love to do or assign back when I was running websites. Like, here’s this big trending conversation, what can our unique day 2 (metaphorically, if not literally) story angle on it?

I’m very happy to see that type of story is not totally extinct. Vogue is exactly the right publication to do it, too. For a second it felt like the old days when the magazines and their sites actually had discernible identities.

Lauren Sherman also got some time with Ryan Murphy as the internet rage continued to swirl. You should def read their chat. He sounded about as defensive and pissy as I’d expected. Really, Ryan Murphy? You didn’t know how invested people are in Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy while putting together a show about her and John? Really?

Ughhhhhh. What a PR misfire with the photos. Lordy.

• Jax Taylor should not be on The Valley any longer and we won’t miss him. It’s the darkest show on Bravo and I love reveling in it all. But I’ve clocked enough time with Olivia Benson’s Special Victims Unit to say that Jax is fully giving family annihilator. He’s so full of shit and absolutely terrifying. PS: Do we want to delve deeper into this season of the show? I’ve fully been watching but I keep bumping the notes. LMK!

He’s full of shit, has learned nothing (esp because that “rehab” was so not “rehab”), and is essentially a rage-fueled stalker. Don’t even get me started on his face.

Vibe Shift

We cannot leave the energy in such cranky place and so we shall cleanse the pop culture palate.

First, just some real CBK style.

I’m sure many of you saw clips from Blondie’s visit to a children’s hospital in Florida. But just in case you haven’t…and I can speak from experience that they never get old.

Felicity and Ben will make me happy on even the most stressful day.

And finally, Chicken Shop Date is almost always a good idea and I loved this cute one with the newest it girlie of pop.

Sidebar: I love how little makeup Addison is wearing on this press run.

Until next time, ‘CERS IN 7 LFGGGGGGGGG!

xA

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See also:

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He also has a highway!

How ‘bout those ‘Cers, huh? I will not bore you once more with the play-by-play of my basketball mania. Today, anyway.

A few quick notes for the handful of people that get a kick out of this sort of nonsense:

• I made sure I had the comeback ‘fit in case it was necessary for Game 1.

Fans are playing their roles across ‘Cers Nation and we are grateful for all sacrifices feeding the basketball gods and the greater good. I hope this gentleman heals quickly and I feel his pain.

• The signs are signing. I see you, H. In this world, it is just us…against all the haters and the underestimators.

• I will also be taking Beyoncé’s incorporation of a “WTHelly” snippet into the Cowboy Carter Tour as a nod to my guys. Also, people from Texas aren’t typically gonna fuck with a team from Oklahoma. So, shhhhhhh. Just let me have this.

• I will be holding the pattern and present in the building for Game 4. On Friday the 13th. I’ve never been to an NBA Finals game in my life. So this is hugely exciting on many levels.

Standard texts with my brother.

• I might need to make some bracelets.

• This shirt was delivered on the day of Game 1 and I am wearing it as I typed.

Sidebar: How did I miss this fantastic Abby-coded outfit on James Johnson earlier in the season?!?

• Nails? Also ready for it.

Four yellow/gold nails for four Ws to take the title, natch.

Thank you to all who have joined the bandwagon. Isn’t it fun?????

Now, onto the rest.

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And Just Like That…They Try to Get Meta

We all see what you did there with Miranda’s comment about understanding hate-watching. It didn’t change a singular thing about how I view the show.

I’m trying out some categories to organize the self-imposed rage I feel—and enjoy.

Stabby

• Aidan’s face. Aidan’s voice. Aidan just showing up out of nowhere after he told Carrie they should be apart for five years, but then made her listen to the most horrifying phone sex sounds anyone has ever heard. Aidan’s dumbass explanation of their relationship status and its rules, which are toxic and manipulative. Aidan’s emoji use. Aidan’s continued existence on this show and in the culture.

• I don’t think we’re really at a “play school shootings for laughs” place in America. Or at the very least this isn’t the show with enough comedic deftness and dexterity to do so.

• Are we just dropping the whole Carrie and Samantha text now thing? I need at least one Sam line about how asinine all this Aidan stuff is and how Carrie is settling for a mansplaining idiot with bad taste in jewelry.

• It would appear Carrie’s not gonna do a lick of research for this historical fiction novel she’s writing from the rat cave. Thanks, I hate it.

Irked

• Carrie’s kitchen in this manse of a Gramercy house is about the size of the one in her 1BR. That’s gotta be a back kitchen, right?

• Why is Carrie so much more skittish all the time? Since when would Carrie Bradshaw be deer-in-headlights timid about making her way through a crowded, chic restaurant?

• There has to be a turn wherein Cheri Oteri comes back and doesn’t try to change Seema right?

• Shoe should not play this big a role in the plotting of the show 🙄. Get the fuck outta here Chekhov’s cat.

• I absolutely believe two helicopter moms on the UES would be psychotic about college admission tutors, but I hate that this is what we’re doing with Charlotte and LTW. There’s nary a hint of a fun or fresh take on an overwrought stereotype. Or is that what they think the slapstick is doing? Pass. I did, however, giggle when Herbert Jr. asked his mom if he was inauthentic.

• Speaking of not a fresh take in sight, Lisette’s dating rant was also tired AF. Can we really not do better than this and a phone throw?

Sure, Okay

• Is this my favorite thing the AJLT version of Carrie has ever worn? I think it just might be.

• The hot garden guy who she better fuck!

Listen, did I think I’d one day be attracted to Trey Atwood (low-key cosplaying as Tom Hardy), Ryan’s troubled older brother who Marissa kills on The O.C.? No, but here we are.

What an iconic scene. Ah, the Imogen Heap of it all.

Of course, this dumb show had to suck a bit of the charm and hot out by calling him Adam Gardens, which I assume is the name of his business, but henceforth the only way he shall be known. Whatever. I’ll take anything I can get here.

• Tableside guac at Rosa Mexicano. Always a good idea.

• Cheri Oteri, in general.

• Miranda becoming obsessed with a TV show her friends aren’t into. Bi Bingo is the new Jules & Mimi1. We love to see an actual character thread woven into this new mess.

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Do I Provoke You With My Tone of Innocence?

Addison Rae’s debut LP—Addison—dropped on Friday and in my opinion it’s a gauzy, floaty summer dream of a pop joint.

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I’ll get into what I love in a sec, but first…

I get v. frustrated with the way people often use “I’m too old for [INSERT ANYTHING HERE]” in relation to art and music and pop culture. It’s typically very dismissive, even if someone doesn’t intend for it to be. As if you must outgrow certain things or genres you once enjoyed—which is just a dumb, reductive concept. No, you’re not too old to consume something you enjoy2. Ever. And I don’t simply say this because I have a lot of interests outside of the demographic norms society would like to place upon us.

It also sends a shitty message to younger people. About aging, sure. But it also subconsciously labels their stuff as somehow more frivolous, which is bullshit and goes against every underlying principle of We Have Notes.

Now, you may be at a point in life where you are not interested in partaking in a part of the culture. That’s a very different framing. It also doesn’t mean you have to speak about a “younger” part of the culture in the WAY actual youths do. Nobody wants to be a “how do you do fellow kids” gif.

I simply don’t believe you ever have to diminish your own love of something because of its primary audience. And you should never dismiss an album or a show or a social media platform on the basis of people younger than you loving it.

You can hate or ignore anything you want. Maybe just think about how you frame that in your own brain—and certainly in conversations IRL and online. I would never think you didn’t like a thing because of your age, but because of your preferences and tastes. Remember: You don’t have to age into apathy. Stay curious and passionate about…anything!!!

But back to my girl Addison Rae.

I am riveted by everything she is doing: the music, the clothes, the glam, how her body moves, the branding decisions, the vibes. I can’t take my eyes off her and don’t want to.

Um, and she loves Co-Star.

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She is VIBES and I am eating it all up.

I love the way she talks about her music.

And how self-aware she is at just 24.

Don’t make assumptions based on what she looks like or how she came to fame. TikTok is an avenue for that in many industries now. She has over 88 MILLION followers, by the way. Why are we acting so dismissive of it? This is what we did with YouTube too. Sure, there’s schlock on any social platform but that doesn’t mean there also isn’t a fuck ton of talent. Why punish someone for finding a way to get that seen? Um, what do you think writers were doing on Twitter back before it was a cesspool?

I also get so frustrated when there’s a ton of pushback to someone really WANTING IT. It’s especially bad for young women, but you saw some of this same pearl clutching when Timothée Chalamet gave his SAG acceptance speech and talked about striving to be one of the greats.

There’s a big conversation happening around Addison and authenticity that I think is fascinating to dissect. The entirety of her NYT Popcast interview is really culturally interesting and I highly recommend even if you’re not super into the music itself. I also pulled some clips sprinkled below if you’re all tl:dr.

Sidebar: The leg warmers and the entire outfit and the glam are so good I can’t.

Something that really stuck out for me (and lots of others) was when Addison said “Choice and taste is kind of a luxury in a lot of ways.” She was discussing her rise to fame dancing on TikTok as a teen and how she saw that as a means to an end…the music career she always wanted. And, yes, fame. Addison unabashedly wants that too—which she gets into on the album. Spoiler alert: Lots of our faves wanted it just as badly. Is that a crime? We put famous people on a pedestal (for better or worse) and then shame people who want to climb up there too. It’s weird.

She obviously had a LOT of ideas about the kind of musician and pop star she wanted to be, but she had to get out of her small town in Louisiana first. I respect that perspective immensely and would feel that way even if I didn’t like the music. Why are people so quick to assume this current version is the inauthentic one? I mean, I know why…but it pisses me off.

God forbid a woman have a plan right? It makes me think of this Taylor clip.

Or evolve in her late teens and early 20s.

I stan a confident young queen and wish to be more this way myself about my work. The art you make should be your favorite. But we aren’t taught to act that way, especially as girls.

Addison is a student of her influences and doing the opposite of trying to run away from that. I think she’s done a very cool 2025 interpolation of a number of people. From the obvious Britney comparisons (small town Louisiana girls, both), Marilyn, Lana, Gaga, Charli, and of course, Madonna.

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I’m not out here saying she’s defined a whole new kind of pop, but I think she’s definitely taking it with this album. It’s a whole fucking vibe and very much an easy summer listen. She’s a cool girl’s cool girl and I think she’s going to do many a cool thing for years to come.

Oh and did I mention Addison did the whole album with just two collaborators/co-writers/producers. Both women: Elvira Anderfjärd and Luka Kloser.

So what songs are IT for me? Well, they did a brilliant job on the singles for this one. If you haven’t gone in on them previously (as I’m guessing many reading this have not), have at it now.

“Diet Pepsi”

Hate the drink, love the song. Straight banger.

“Aquamarine”

What I wouldn’t give to be able to move like this.

“High Fashion”

Scorpio-coded AF. (She’s a Libra sun, Aquarius moon, Gemini rising.) Or…maybe just my brain-coded?

A sampling of lyrics that I enjoyed a whole lot:

Have you ever dreamt of bein' seen?
Not by someone, more like in a magazine
Wantin' somethin' more than just a hit
Nothing else can make me feel like this

I know I'm drunk, but
I don't need your drugs
I'd rather get, rather get high fashion
I don't want cheap love
I'd rather get high fashion
I don't need your drugs

I'd rather feel the sun kiss on my skin
With a cigarette pressed between my tits
You know I'm not an easy fuck
But whеn it comes to shoes, I'll be a slut

Spiraling into you
I'm into you, denial
You make it hard, so hard to choose
Desire
I know how to make the hard things look really easy

These two feel very much a part of the song of summer conversation, whether you hate that or not is all up to you.

“Headphones On”

This has been in steady rotation in my ears since mid-April. We talked about it here, for sure.

“Fame Is a Gun”

She dropped this one just before the album came out and it’s gonna be a club banger for a while.

As for the non-singles on the album, my early faves are:

“Summer Forever”

I just love the sense of dreamy melancholy she seems to evoke with ease.

“Money Is Everything”

You know I love a pop song with a sense of humor—and a sense of sadness.

The live show at The Box in NYC Friday night looked groovy and I will now move on from this pop girlie to some others.

I am available for all Addison discussions and good faith critiques!

party 4 u (2025)

If you listen to Addison straight through, there’s a good chance “party 4 u” will stream up next after the final track. Charli’s been all in on Addison for a while now, after all.

If you spend any time online, you’ve likely been hearing this a bunch. But maybe you don’t know its lore.

The song is actually not new, which is news to many. Think Cruel Summer jamming up the charts years after Lover, thanks to The Eras Tour. It was once a very “just for the fans”. We knew what we knew.

“party 4 u”’s recent success follows that trajectory, with Charli’s fan base growing exponentially during the brat era. Then it recently went super viral on TikTok.

But it goes back further than that. The song was recorded and included on 2020’s How I’m Feeling Now. But it had been written years before that (circe 2017) and she’d pull it out during DJ sets and some live shows. Sorta like if “Medicine” ever ended up on an actual album. Harries would lose their shit and it would trend so hard on the clock app. So it was way popular with the real Charli stans. That was not me. I def heard it at some point after How I’m Feeling Now came out. But I dug it then, for sure. And I knew some real Charli gays who filled me in on the rest. Bless.

File it under: Abby’s favorite melancholic bangers pt. 17311301923483133101.

You could watch me pull up on your body
Like it's summer, take my clothes off in the water
Splash around and get you blessed like holy water
I don't know what you were waiting for
You know that I've been waiting for you
(I only threw this party for you)

This slays my heart.

Yeah, if you saw my tears, would you touch me?
Kiss me on the mouth, say you love me?
Leave a message, tell me you're sorry?
Hit me right back, hit me right back

Now, in 2025, she made a music video for it.

There’s also a larger message here. I try to remind myself of these sorts of examples all the time.

Brat turned one.

Charli popped up with Air to do “Cherry Blossom Girl” in Paris. European festival truly is upon us.

In Other Pop Girlie News…

Sabrina

What a week for our wee blond pop princess to drop a song called “Manchild”.

It’s totally fine! I like it, but I’m not currently OBSESSED. It sounds a lot like the album, but not quiiiiiiiite as good. There’s some clever stuff and it’s fun and sassy, but in my opinion this won’t be a song of summer.

LOL to Barry Keoghan though.