A demand to show up. Carry grief as if it does not exist.

Bear the weight of a world where death is the cost of living.

I shall pay that toll, not only for myself, but those before me who died trying to live.

I shall be reborn as who I truly am.

This body I did not get to choose, never fit correctly. I shall hang up the burden of performing for your comfort.

Chris has done what he was supposed to do. Survive so others may live. I am putting him away, for he provided the shelter needed.

I will no longer accept the box the world tries to put me in. Instead I’ll craft my own and bury your understanding in it.

On that box a new name shall be carved with care.

A name chosen with deliberate intention to build a new world.

I have always been feminine, even other men have sensed it.

To free others, one must free themselves.

Undo the chains of thinking in order to grow a new.

My name will bring honor to the ones who have walked before.

My name will bring comfort to the ones who are scared.

My name will stand strong, a lighthouse guiding ships to shore.

My name will be freedom

For those lost to time

My name will be liberation

For those who have yet to come

My name will be Saoirse Fiain O’Shae and you will approach me as such.

A divine goddess, here to birth a new world. A doula of death to the old.

May we grow together as these ashes of the old fall around us. They will sting and they will burn, yet we shall dance in them.