Maybe that person who tried to dim your light today did so because long ago, someone convinced them they weren’t worthy enough to shine. So when you shine so damn bright, it hurts. What if you spent some time today drawing them out of the shadows, proving that when you glow from within, you can light up the world. The critique isn’t an invitation for you to dim, it’s for you to share. Let them bathe in that shimmer, understand how good it feels in the light, help them reignite their own fire so they can bring others to bask in their glow. Before you know it, we’re all shining.

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In case you need the reminder: you are worthy of great things. You are deserving of everything you’re working so hard for. The pay off may be taking longer than expected, but that doesn’t render this part of the journey, that is laden in graft and doubt and frustration, any less necessary. Even in your second guessing, your daily declarations of quitting, you keep getting back up. See? Right there. Somewhere inside you, remains that fire that guides you back to that singular truth: you are worthy of it and it is already yours. And it’s sexy as hell when you don’t back down from your truth.

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I’m coming to you from the land of exhaustion.

Listen, I’m grateful for life and understand I experience many privileges as I walk through it.

However, I’m tired.

Tired of this high ass rent.

Tired of being responsible for every single bill.

Tired of barely having a cent left over once the rent and bills are paid.

Tired of digging my way out of debt.

Tired of trying to save for retirement.

Tired of my introvert tendencies that make me so hesitant about being social.

Tired of doing everything alone but also being petrified to put myself out there for genuine connection and friendship.

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Stop talking yourself out of sh*t before you’ve even tried. The idea exists within you because on some level, you know it’s possible. You know damn well you’re capable of whatever you put your mind to, so don’t let that annoying naysayer within try to shut you down. Dream big, be ambitious, be delulu, be outrageous, be relentless in the pursuit of the things you want. You are worthy of all the lavish, insane, seemingly out-of-reach things you dream of. They’re only out-of-reach because you haven’t bothered to extend your arm yet.

Go get it, babe.

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Maybe this part of your journey is just meant to be for learning. You’re frustrated because you think you’re supposed to have it all figured out, you want it all yesterday. No, no, no. Slow down. Pay attention. Take it all in. Assemble the puzzle pieces. You’re gathering intel, finding your flow. Everything is unfolding exactly as it should. Enjoy the ride, baby.

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I’ve seen some well worn, classic, child-free hating tropes floating around the internet recently. You know the types; the ‘People without kids, what do you do on a Friday night?’ ‘When child-free people say they’re ‘busy’ *^insert eye roll emoji here^’ or my personal favourite, ‘I get irrationally angry when child-free people say they’re tired.’

As a child-free woman, I navigate the subtle hatred of my choices daily. These takes are ten-a-penny. The undertone of all of them is essentially that I’m not truly inhabiting womanhood, my life has no meaning or purpose and that I spend every waking moment bed-rotting and lamenting my empty existence.

At this point, I’ve heard these things so often, I’ve downgraded them to in my life to water-off-a-duck’s-back status, or at best, mildly irritating if I’m having a bad day. But over the years, as I’ve rooted myself in my decision more and established comfortability and confidence in it, I now hear these takes for what they really are; desperate jealousy from mothers that I wish we would hold more space for.

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Today, take a moment to shout out the thing that almost broke you. That battle you fought that maybe no one knew about. That thing that kept you up at night and made you cry big, heavy tears. That thing that took up entirely too much brain space and tied your stomach in knots.

Look at you! Still here, thriving, strong like ox. Sure, it sucked while it was happening and felt like it was taking so much from you. But really, it gave you resilience, it built your problem solving skills, steadied your resolve and gave you another layer of swagger. Even in your biggest moments of doubt, you stared that thing down and said ‘come at me, bro!’ Life really tried it, messing with you. Does it not know that you’ll come out victorious every time?!

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Daily, right now, I feel the frustration with which AI seems to be forced down my neck at every turn. It feels like we are being put in a collective choke hold, being told by this technological bully ‘Submit! I am the inevitability!’ The fact that the charge is being led by the billionaire class should be enough to give us all pause and cause for concern. But what is achingly depressing is the willingness with which so many seem to be content to sacrifice their creativity for convenience.

We are seeing this in all sectors of society as technology encroaches on every element of the human experience, but AI is fast tracking it at an alarming rate.

We’re supposed to be so enamoured, so razzle dazzled by the notion of not having to lift a finger and just letting AI do it all. Here, just cut out all the steps and let this thing, that has absolutely devastating social and environmental impacts, churn out the final result for you.

But what if you like the steps? What if you want them? What if they’re VERY FUCKING ESSENTIAL TO ANYTHING GOOD BEING CREATED, EVER.

Why are we in such a rush to become completely unskilled? If this thing truly does take off (which believe it or not, does not actually have to be an inevitability. You can actually opt out, you can reject it, you don’t have to use it. You do still have free will, a conscience, an internal moral guide, ethics and a duty to do right by the physical environment in which you live….but I digress!) If it does take off, what’s the end goal here? Fifty years from now, we’re all sitting around, a bunch of babbling, drooling idiots, completely incapable of doing anything that requires a modicum of thought?

Eliminating the process and just churning out final results is doing nothing for us. I remember in maths class at school, we’d always be told to ‘show our work’, i.e detail the road map of how you came to the result. Without the process, the road map, you do not have an understanding of the conclusion.

In writing, in maths, in science, in anything, it is the learning that comes with draft after draft, mistakes, improvements, corrections, tweaks, birthed from your own mind or with a collective of your peers, that makes the result so satisfying. You are building a skill, a craft, a mastery of your process and honing of your talent.

As AI grows, it eliminates people’s desire to master a craft. It eliminates humans having any skill whatsoever.

Why would we want that?

I can take my own notes, write my own emails, brainstorm my own ideas. The day I give that up, I would consider a huge cause for concern, but people just seem to be mindlessly surrendering, convinced that this is inevitable and if we don’t get on board, we’ll be ‘left behind’.

Cool. Leave me.

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Life isn’t always going to make a grand announcement that it’s time for change. Sometimes it’s a whisper, a quiet nod, a gentle nudge. It might not make you spring into action and make seismic shifts, but it plants a seed. And to not listen to that, is to betray yourself.

You can take your time with the watering, but water it, you must. Eventually, that seedling will sprout something. Your job is to hold steady and stay curious until the answers come. You cannot rush your becoming. The beauty is how you bloom into it.

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I was having a chuckle over on IG a couple of weeks ago when a post came up in my feed for a ‘Pilates & Planes’ class, which was a class held in….an aeroplane hanger, because, of course it was. I’ve been doing Pilates for a good 20 years and lemme tell you what I’ve never, not once, thought to myself? ‘You know what would really elevate this experience? A f*cking aeroplane hanger.’

It’s an issue with Pilates, for sure, which since the dawn of the ‘Pilates Princess’ era (which I hope dies a spectacular death, very soon), has been pushing the boundaries of the class experience. And that’s what everything in fitness seems to have become now; the experience.

God forbid you want to just rock up and get a good sweat in. Now, the entire thing must be curated. The equipment must be top notch, your outfit should be a matching set (bonus points if it cost you a month’s rent), insert your city’s current DJ du jour who will be playing a live set, lighting is designed to line up with every beat drop and if we can squeeze a brand sponsorship in there too, that’s the cherry on top. Everything must be Instagrammable and TikTok ready, because if you don’t post about it, DOES IT EVEN MATTER?

The actual workout itself seems to have become an afterthought in a lot of places. You have instructors who did a weekend certification somewhere and are now leading rooms of 40 participants, praying they don’t get someone navigating a complex injury because past ‘listen to your body,’ they wouldn’t know what to advise.

We’ve become so concerned about what the workout looks like online that we’re not focusing on what is actually happening in the room.

I’m hoping it’s nearing the tipping point now where people are craving less hype, more substance. When I started doing Pilates, I went to classes where the teacher rented a room in a gym. It was classical Pilates, no props, the same playlist every week. She would do it in 6 week blocks, which you paid for up front. It was the same sequence, building the progressions each week, so you saw and felt your progress. She didn’t advertise anywhere, but her 6 week courses were booked out well in advance.

I appreciate, it was a different time. The landscape has changed. To some degree, we have to engage with social media to promote ourselves, but I can’t help but think the entire point of our workouts is being lost to all the online hype that surrounds them.

So here’s my appeal; to bring back simplicity, bring back sense. Let some of the bells and whistles go and if you’re curating anything, may it be a safe and effective workout!

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If it feels like everything is falling apart right now, I hope you feel excited. That seems counterintuitive, I know. But usually, things not panning out the way we wanted is life showing us what’s not for us, even if it’s something we really wanted. Maybe it would’ve involved you sacrificing too much of yourself, forcing things, becoming someone that’s not truly aligned with your life’s purpose.

So, during the disappointment that comes with a set back, maybe you let go a little, put your guard down, stop forcing, stop resisting and be open to receiving whatever lies on the other side of that. It might not be what you expected, but most of the time, it’s better than whatever you were trying to do in the first place.

Life just has a funny way of doing that.

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An ex of mine said to me, during our breakup, ‘maybe you’re just not a relationship person.’ As I stewed about our uncoupling in the months that followed, I’d found that to be such a profoundly shitty thing to say to a person. Especially so, coming from a guy who cheated, was uncommunicative and was just generally not a great partner. It was a comment that stung and really stuck with me.

But now, 12 years on from that breakup, with multiple flings, numerous dates, some semi-serious dating and one broken engagement under my belt, I’ve come to realise, he was right.

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Sometimes you must acknowledge for yourself what a bad bitch you are. And I’m not even talking about whatever traditional pillars of success we choose to shine a light on. Yeah yeah, you’re slaying your career - beautiful. But have you ever just revered the bad bitchery of your day to day? You pay your bills, you recycle, you stay on top of your skincare regime, you send cute memes to your friends, your fridge is stocked, you remember people’s birthdays, you tuck in the label that’s sticking out of that random girl’s shirt - all bad bitch activities. And you’re doing all that in this economy, while under the crushing weight of capitalism and the patriarchy? Wowzers. Salutes.

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It starts when we’re kids; the incessant ‘so, what do you want to be when you grow up?’ questions. Inherently, built into that, is that by ‘be’, we mean ‘do’. We’re talking about career paths. And the adults will hype up the kids when the astronaut, policeman, doctor, lawyer answers come back. Socially, we’ve been solidifying the buy in to capitalism fr…

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All that energy you put into your counter-argument, all the reasons it’s not gonna work, it can’t happen, you’re not ready - what if today, you just decided to rest that voice? Put all your energy into the part of you that says ‘fuck it, I’m gonna try anyway.’ Flood that part of you with belief that it’ll go better than you could ever imagine. Because that party pooper side of you is really killing the vibe. You’re allowed to be great. Let yourself.

Podcast recommendations

Looking for some juicy podcastery for your ear holes? I’ve got you.

The producers of Serial have done it once again. Their new series, The Idiot, is a fascinating listen. It’s a five-episode, very-bingeable story. Highly recommend.

If you prefer something on the more bat shit crazy end of the spectrum, Love Trapped is an absolute must-listen. Holy Moly. My jaw hits the floor with every new episode. Just when you think it can’t get any more bat shit, it out-bat shits itself. Absolutely wild and salacious. Enjoy!

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Back in early 2025, after a prolonged period of life kicking my ass with no respite in sight, I had, what the youth might call, a ‘Menty B’. I was making plans to end my life. Thankfully, I had family and medical intervention in time and managed to get things back on track.

During that medical intervention, I was diagnosed with severe anxiety. It was the first time it had been pointed out to me that living with crippling existential dread every day was not, in fact, normal.

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If you think you don’t matter, consider this your reminder that someone, somewhere is thinking about you at this very moment. They’re remembering a conversation with you and smiling. Someone, somewhere, is doing something with their life because you inspired them to, without even knowing it. Someone right now is wishing they could be spending time with you because your presence lights them up. You are a person who has made countless people’s days better.

Thank you for being you.

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I know you’re tired. I know what you’re striving for seems a million miles away. I know you feel like it’s never gonna happen, it’s not for you, the dream is foolish. But amid all your doubts, that buzz is still there, that light hasn’t gone out yet - you have more to give. Even on the days it doesn’t feel like it, you’re making more progress than you think. Please keep going. You’re so close. And we’re all waiting to see you finally get your moment.

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Today’s my birthday. I’m 45. I’m not sure how that happened, but life, as they say, comes at you fast.

As we tend to around our birthdays, I’ve been doing some reflecting. I’ve had a pretty varied life - a few rough years thrown in for good measure, sure - but all in all, I’ve been having a pretty solid ride. Born in Canada, grew up in England, lived in New York, Tokyo, London and eventually found my way back to Canada. I’ve been a sales assistant, a waitress, a call centre operator, a really bad travel agent, a writer, a spin instructor, a manager of boutique fitness studios and even managed a few hours as a door-to-door sales person (much respect to anyone who does that because WHEW. I. Could. Not)

I’ve had relationships (good and bad), friendships (good and bad) and two dogs, who rapidly became my entire world.

All that to say, I’ve lived a bit and learned a thing or two.

Here’s hoping I have at least another 45 years ahead where life will continue to teach and humble me, but if I were to condense down my biggest lessons thus far, here are my top 5:

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You can be in the depths of your darkness and still feel inspired to find the light. From the pit of your despair, you are still entitled to hope. It’s not a betrayal of your sadness to seek a way out of it. You can honour it while believing that the good you yearn for may happen in the next breath, be around the next corner or find its spark in the next conversation. Because that is the human experience. To find yourself laid out on the canvas, assumed to be down for the count and still be able to find that voice within that whispers ‘I’m not out yet’ - that is where the best of you is born.

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