Fast forward to last month, and something has completely shifted. Without even trying, I started doing things that started to feel more aligned, and true to me. It doesn’t feel like work, and it feels fun and easy to me.

The irony is not lost on me that on page 188 of OVERRIDE! the first permission I wrote was PERMISSION TO DO THINGS DIFFERENTLY. The second one was PERMISSION TO DO THINGS ON YOUR OWN TIME.

What happened wasn’t anything I planned to happen. It was the unexpected spontaneity that revealed a new pathway. It was a post from a then stranger that came into my Instagram feed that I commented on. There was no ulterior motive. It lead to mutual follows. And exchange that we should chat. (There’s something about being an other that bonds you!). And soon followed a crazy idea.

A month later I found myself co-hosting an author meet up in London with Lauren Currie (who I’d never heard of two months prior). The irony was that neither of live in the UK, but when I saw that she was going to be there for work, and I had a train ticket I needed to change, I realized I could pop over for the day.

I love asking WHAT IF (see OVERRIDE! Chapter: What if…? Page 111.). And the next what if was, what if we invite all the awesome authors we know (and don’t know). And see what happens.

We both put together posts to attempt to capture what happened when we brought our simple idea to life. We both kept saying how proud we were of doing this. (It was seriously low lift, max joy!). We did NOT do this with the intention to get new followers and more online visibility, we did it because we wanted to meet. But something about how we did this helped open up possibilities for others too. (It felt like a cue from OVERRIDE! Chapter: Other ways. Page 201.)

My post (you may need to click into IG to see all the carousel slides):

Lauren’s post (you can even see screenshots about how it unfolded):

It was THE BEST day trip. We picked a time, and place. It was not lost on me how grateful the locals were to us for doing this. In theory they could do this any time, but instead it took two outsiders trying something new. (All the authors are tagged in the IG post!) It’s true sometimes you need a fresh perspective to break away from “how things are done.” We didn’t even coordinate or strategize with our posts. We just shared what felt true to us, in the process celebrating each other, and all the authors who joined.

When you’re having fun and enjoying what you’re doing things just flow.

Just being in Lauren’s orbit has shown me so much about not waiting for permission and just going for it, and having fun with it! (I mean she wore a sandwich board to launch her book!). Her book BE UPFRONT is an invitation to build that confidence. (As I read it, I can’t help but feel like it’s a sister to OVERRIDE! - so many parallel, supporting ideas shared through our own lenses.) She also self-published a children’s book called Taylor Meets the Trick, which explores how we’ve all been tricked to believe certain things are true. It’s a brilliant and creative perspective for exploring these outdated rules we live by.

This nothing fancy, no cost, low lift, fun for us gathering has been the reminder to me that there are so many ways to do things. And everything in life does not need to be strategic. Experiments are often the best—especially the ones where there’s no time to overthink it. (Anne-Laure Le Cunff of Tiny Experiments was able to join us too!)

Staying open can unlock some of the most magical experiences. It’s a reminder to return to my mantra (that I got from my grandfather): THIS SHOULD BE FUN.

This meet up has become a domino for how I’m approaching everything these days. If you’re in Paris, I hope you’ll join me and writer Elizabeth Evitts Dickinson for our twist on a book party. Inspired by the fact that her book is about the designer who added pockets to women’s clothing, and my book is a pocket playbook designed to fit in most pockets, Elizabeth (who will be visiting Paris the day her paperback edition comes out) and I are hosting a POCKET PARTY! in appreciation of pockets :) We’ll be hosting it at Treize, a charming pocket of Paris, across from the Luxembourg gardens.

Books tend to get attention when they first come out, and authors tend to burn out quickly with all of the promotion. For me, I always knew I wanted to play the long game with OVERRIDE! Teaming up with Elizabeth is such a joy (I know her from my Baltimore days.) Her book Clare McCardell: The designer who set women free, has already received so many accolades, including gracing the cover of the NYTimes Book Review and being named book of the year by TIME and NPR.

Tell your Paris friends to come to the Pocket Party! You can share the Instagram post, event listing, or share the post on my Biz Blog.

If you’re looking for your own permission to GET CREATIVE check out Mapping Your Path: UNCHARTED. It’s an invitation to change your mindset, and maybe even make a change. You don’t have to have anything figured out to start. You just need to take the first step! There’s something extra powerful about doing this in community.

The fun kicks off June 5th! 🚀

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On May 23, 2024 I celebrated my book launch in Paris. The next morning I was on the next flight to NYC for the funeral of one of my best friends (who asked me to facilitate her celebration of life).

It’s not a combo I’d recommend but Lauren was such a key part of the creation of my book I knew she wouldn’t want me to miss my launch. (She’d seen previous draft versions but sadly the final book was en route when her cancer went terminal.)

I went to my friend/energy masseuse Camille that week who reminded me I can do this. I’d be like a diplomat who got off the plane, attending a ceremony. Much to my amazement I was able to shine in both settings.

That day was sad but beautiful (but that’s not what this post is about). This post really is a reminder that two things can be true at once (there’s a whole chapter in OVERRIDE! to remind us of that). I was truly honored to facilitate because so many beautiful stories were shared. 🐞

Here’s the thing about books, even when they’re not hot off the shelves, we still need help sharing.

On the 2nd anniversary of my book, I’d be honored/grateful if you would:

1. Order a copy of OVERRIDE! 📓 (It’s available worldwide in paperback, e-book, and audiobook. You can also ask your local bookstore to order it.)

2. Tell a friend about the book or gift a copy! 🎁 (Sure you can share online but text, letter, or in person work too.)

3. Leave a review. 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 (Yes! You can leave a review on Amazon even if you didn’t buy it there!… Good Reads and StoryGraph work too. The more the merrier! This helps more people discover the book.)

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Stay tuned. I’m cooking up some new events to honor OVERRIDE! in 2026. The next one will be in Paris on June 16th—a totally new fun theme + collaboration.

To make sure you don’t miss anything, subscribe to my Connect the Dots newsletter, and follow me on Instagram at @pretavoyager and @overridebook.

A version of this post is also on Instagram.

You may also enjoy:

• Why I decided to self-publish rather than go the traditional publishing route

• My favorite resources for (self)publishing

• Real-talk on self-publishing interview with London Writers’ Salon

• A peek at the OVERRIDE! events + podcasts I’ve done

• Episode 26 of “Enter the Portal” podcast where I talk about the launch and loss, and the wild timing

• BUY THE BOOK!

In non-book news:

• I’m hosting free 30-min JOURNALING SESSIONS Mondays in May (and the first Monday in June). All are welcome! There are three sessions each Monday so sign up for a time that works for you.

• The next Mapping Your Path: UNCHARTED 3-mo creative workshop + global community is currently enrolling and kicks of June 5th! It’s an invitation to make time for what matters, with direct support from me and an incredible community.

Last week I ran a full day in person experiential workshop for masters students studying to be perfumers in Paris that involved visiting an exhibit, mapping futures that integrated reality and imagination, and a team challenge inspired by the day. So much stuck out at me from the day, but the surprising thing that had the biggest impact was the concept of “zooming out.” (See OVERRIDE! chapter: Zoom in. Zoom out., Page 136).

As a facilitator, I’m always thinking about how we enter the day and giving people enough information to anchor them, while not overwhelming anyone, and leaving some mystery. We’ve all been to museums, but in a day devoted to capturing and documenting creative inspiration, we started off with an exercise where I gave the students 30 seconds to draw the same view zoomed in, middle level, and zoomed out (for context/bird’s eye view). It didn’t matter what you drew, or the quality of your drawing—the goal was to see one thing from three different perspectives and vantage points. And I wanted to get these digital first students using pen and paper.

Going through the exhibition—Cartes Imaginaires [Imaginary Maps] at the BNF François Mitterand—I noticed myself looking at things that other people were pointing too. I started to see a new perspective in getting curious about what others were seeing. The delightful thing was that I saw so many details I would never have noticed if I was trying to see everything and soak it all in. The value wasn’t in seeing it all, but the delight in seeing.

Fast forward to the end of the day, where I always have groups circle up to reflect. One of the students reflected on how powerful the idea of “zooming out” was and it was something they wanted to remember. This workshop came the day after exams officially ended. I reminded them that this idea of “zooming out” is not just for seeing at the museum. It applies to our lives as well.

Often we can get stuck focused on the nitty, gritty details of something and that’s not always helpful. In life, it’s also important to remember to zoom out and look at the larger picture. It helps put things in perspective and reminds us of the bigger “why.” While a paper or exam can feel like the biggest thing in the world in that moment, in the grand scheme of things, that’s one minor blip.

Is there something in your life that would benefit from zooming out?

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📝 Throughout May, I’m hosting free 30-min journaling sessions every Monday. I’ll be sharing new prompts each week, or bring the prompt above, and come write with us in community. I’m hosting three sessions each Monday, so sign up for a time that works for you—or come for them all! There’s something powerful about coming together and quietly writing in community. (If you join, you’ll also honor OVERRIDE! Chapter: Journaling. Page 151.)

Psssst! Heads up, the next 3-mo Mapping Your Path workshop + community opens soon and kicks off the first Friday in June! Make sure you sign up to be the first to know.

OVERRIDE! What if there was another way? 📓 is a small but mighty book designed to help shake up that status quo. It fits in your pocket so you can return to these reminders at any time as you take action. Available worldwide in paperback, e-book, and audiobook. You can even ask your local bookseller to order a copy.

As I was putting the finishing touches on OVERRIDE! in 2024 it was the same time that AI and ChatGPT was becoming bigger. At the time I hardly knew what AI was, but shortly before going to print, I decided to add a footnote to the bottom of the copyright page of my book. It was a way for me to honor just how many hours were poured into this seemingly small, straight forward book.

I’m not sure that anyone has noticed it. No one has mentioned it to me. I had a friend years ago who told me they always read the footnotes when reading, and it’s a habit I’ve taken on. This book became a labor of love and way of processing the world, so it felt important to make a note that this was coming from me, and not a machine. I’ve always wanted this book to feel deeply human.

So in case you’re not someone who reads the small print—yet—I thought I’d call your attention to it in this post.

My words weren’t intended as an anti AI message so much as a reminder that life is messy and not always something that can be outsourced. This is true for so many aspects. I see people frustrated that the thing they’re working on isn’t out in the world yet, and instead of acknowledging things take time, they’re hard on themselves. (Oh how imagined reality doesn’t actually match real reality.)

I also wanted to honor the other humans [editors] who I invested in who supported me on this journey. (Shout out .) The process of writing my book was one of those things that took longer than I expected, despite it not changing drastically from the first draft. Life is designed to teach us lessons along the way. It’s through working through the messy parts that we get to the good stuff. Rather than just understanding a concept roughly, we integrate it into our being and raison d’être.

As humans we want answers and to be validated by our choices, yet we rarely talk about how there are phases in our life where we don’t have that, but we have to keep going anyway. (See OVERRIDE! Chapter: The need for external validation. Page 86.) We rarely talk about how life feels messier than how it may look to someone on the outside. This is the piece I wanted to normalize. (See Chapter: Life is not linear. Page 59.)

Furthermore, I was always aware that the ideas I explore in OVERRIDE! What if there was another way? are nothing ground breaking, but that’s also what makes them powerful. The challenge is we want quick fixes and instant gratification (See: Chapter: The dopamine of instant gratification. Page: 88), but fully integrating and embodying the inner override can take time, feel messy, or uncomfortable. We can feel like a failure because that’s the messaging we’ve received, when really, it’s not because we’re doing anything wrong, it’s often a sign we’re doing something right. (See Chapter: Dancing with discomfort. Page: 61).

Since my book came out (nearly two years ago now), it’s been interesting to discover just how divisive AI is as a topic through the perspectives shared inside my Mapping Your Path workshop + community (yes, it’s far more divisive than politics in my orbit).

If you’re hanging out around LinkedIn you tend to be in a bubble of people sharing all the amazing things AI is doing for them as they optimize and outsource their work and life. Meanwhile, I see a much stronger split which also includes folks who refuse to touch it both for the environmental impact and water use, as well as what it does to critical thinking. There is a greater divide than most people realize.

This post is not intended to be a debate on AI, so much as a reminder that we all have aspects of life where we live in bubbles that inform how we operate in the world. We often don’t question things because a certain point of view is supported in surround sound. It’s much easier to go along with “group think” than going against the grain. Just because everyone else is doing something doesn’t mean you have to too.

We tend to view the world in an either/or black or white point of view rather than seeing what may lie between the two. (See: Chapter: It’s all a spectrum. Page 134.) There’s often more nuance—and mess—than one would expect.

It can feel uncomfortable to ask questions that go against the mainstream perspective. (See: Chapter: Ask more questions. Page 113.) Someone may respond in a way that makes us feel judged (also not comfortable). However, more often than not that says more about them, than us. (See Chapter: We are all mirrors. Page 120.)

So, if life feels messier than anyone led you to believe, CONGRATULATIONS! You are human! You have feelings, and emotions, and are alive. These are the very elements that help us grow, think differently, and give us the courage to show up in the world differently than has been modelled in the past. Your journey is not one that can be outsourced.

Wherever things are feeling messy in your life, it’s OK to embrace it. It’s won’t last forever. There are tools that can help you. Most are within you, but there may be seasons where some outside support can be helpful. When we zoom out and see how far we’ve come and what we’ve worked through, we can take pride in the journey and steps we’ve taken. (See Chapter: Zoom in. Zoom out. Page 136.)

There are so many stresses in life, don’t forget to enjoy the journey. Mess and all.

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OVERRIDE! What if there was another way? A pocket playbook for possibility is available in print, e-book, and audiobook worldwide wherever books are sold. (And yes, you can ask your local bookstore to order your copy too.)

When I was young I grew up figure skating. I was never the highly competitive type, it was something I enjoyed doing with my childhood best friend. Still, every time the Olympics came around, figuring skating was what I looked forward to. (Yes, this is little me.)

I grew up in the 80s/90s before we had television on demand at our fingertips or social media. I distinctly remember the broadcasts and the way narratives were presented, at least in the US. Nancy Kerrigan was the “ideal” skater reflecting traditional beauty and grace. Tonya Harding was not.

If you missed this era of history, I highly recommend the 2017 film “I, Tonya” (for me it was Margot Robbie’s breakout role—she was Tonya before she was “Barbie”). This Hollywood biopic captures the rivalry between the two American skaters, including an attack to Kerrigan’s knee in the lead up to the Olympics. It was high drama reality TV before that was a genre at all.

These were the stories imprinted on me. If we look to OVERRIDE! (Chapter: Stereotypes and representation. Page 67) we can see what narratives the media normalized, the way women were represented (to this day it’s easier to cast some as the villain), how beauty standards were upheld (both by the media and by judges), to commenting on women’s clothing rather than their talents.

During that same era, Surya Bonaly, a strong, muscular, Black, French skater was the first woman to do a back flip in competition and land on one foot. However, instead of being celebrated, she was punished (she did it anyway). When someone doesn’t fit the bill of expectations the system likes to work against them. (See Chapter: Rigged systems. Page 68.) There are double standards. This happens all around us all the time, but we have to pay attention to realize what’s going on and start to question who, what, and why. Is there something else at play?

Fast forward to 2026 and US men’s figure skater Ilia Malinin was the heralded for his backflip in Olympic competition and celebrated by the media as the first. Although he was not the first, Surya was. My generation remembered it. But skating rules have changed, and Ilia is a man who more closely fits the mold of “who can be a figure skater.” When we open our lens of awareness we open our eyes to the bias and privilege that applies to some, but not all. (See Chapter: On bias and inherent privilege. Page 40.) There can be room for everyone to succeed and be celebrated—“Shine Theory” (See Chapter: Scarcity vs. Abundance. Page 132).

The OVERRIDE! framework invites us to:
– Name and acknowledge what’s at play
– Reframe to a more empowered mindset
– Take (aligned) action to reflect the new view

So now that we’ve established the context for the times that shaped me and so many, it’s become abundantly clear that there were toxic, misogynistic narratives running so much of the programming—both literally on TV, and also imbued into our own internal programming. Often it can feel like “this is the way it is/things are” but then there are moments in life designed to remind us that there is indeed ANOTHER WAY.

I hadn’t watched skating in years until this year’s US Nationals caught my attention where the three female skaters who made the Olympic team—Amber Glenn, Alysa Liu, and Isabeau Levito stood out to me as different. They soon after became dubbed “The Blade Angels” where they creatively held the role of co-supporters who raise each other up, rather than the competition.

A “60-minutes” interview with Alysa Liu (who’d go on to win gold in both the team and women’s individual skate) emerged sharing her journey. After her first Olympics in Beijing in 2016 at the age of 16 she realized she was miserable and retired without telling her dad. She did the unthinkable. She took time off. For the first time she got to be a kid and travel and spend time with her friends and siblings. She got to live a life not centered around skating.

Then she got the pull to return to the sport, but this time on her terms where she’d have a voice—in her training, in her music, in her costume design. And then the “unthinkable” happened. She made it back to the Olympics, and she WON!

But this wasn’t even about winning, it was about having fun and performing for the crowd. Watching her long program [watch it here] which would take her to the top of the podium, sure she was doing amazing moves, but what she was really doing was so much bigger than that. She was SHOWING us there was another way.

The performance was electric, the joy was palpable. Rather than playing the role of a modest, dainty figure skater coming off the ice, she had a giant smile on her face and to the camera said, “That’s what I’m f**k-ing talking about!”—not to prove anyone wrong, but to celebrate a great skate proving you can take a break and have fun and still come out on top. Simultaneously she was rewriting new programming in my brain as a viewer (See: Chapter: Reprogram your brain. Page 128.).

She did what others don’t even dream to do—she took the pressure off. When asked in an interview about the pressure, she almost naively responded, what pressure? Who’s putting pressure on? I’m not, I just want to skate for the audience. It was as if all the programming that’s been projected onto us throughout our lives was just proven to be invalid as long as we make the choice to not give it power. And maybe it’s simpler than it seems…

Meanwhile, teammate Amber Glenn didn’t have a great short program. A medal contender coming into the Olympics (and the top US finisher) she found herself in 13th place. That meant she skated before the top seeds going into the long program. She had the skate of her life that put her in the top spot for a long time. But rather than celebrating the falls of others, she became the biggest supporter elevating them on down moments. She still managed to finish a most respectable 5th place.

She wasn’t trying to steal the limelight, but when the cameras were trying to focus on a Japanese skater crying after her final Olympic skate before retiring, she stepped in to usher them away. There were so many micro-moments where she proved her sportsmanship was unrivalled.

There was a special bond between team USA and Japan where the new narrative was everyone rooting for the success of others, rather than wanting to be the best. The final skater to go was a 17 year old Japanese skater in her first Olympics. The points were announced, but it took Alysa—now the official Olympic gold medalist—going over and hugging the new bronze medalist and celebrating her for the skater to understand what just happened. Rather than gloating and soaking in her win, Alysa Liu with her signature striped hair was reminding us that sport is so much more than winning.

Even rewatching these clips and typing these stories I find myself getting emotional (in the best way). These athletes didn’t just perform, they allowed us to feel. The tales of these athletes (who I was lucky enough to see in person during a skating training session in Milan!) seemed to in a matter of days rewrite and override all the toxic narratives that I grew up around.

It was a beautiful reminder that we can cross generations and we don’t have to do things the way they’ve always been done. There is a beautiful opportunity to all learn from each other. Instead we must ask ourselves, “What if there was another way?” and then take action to rewrite our futures.

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Pick up your own copy of OVERRIDE! as an invitation to remind yourself to ask What if there was another way?

Here’s my flashback to the Paris 2024 summer Olympics and what they taught me about OVERRIDE!

In case you missed it featured me in a post on “The Anatomy of a Viral Instagram Post.”

Did you know? I also have a regular “Connect the Dots” newsletter with bi-weekly inspiration and news on my latest offers and workshops?

The acknowledgement of this reality is why I wrote the chapter “Diversify your bookshelf” (OVERRIDE! page 157). Since then I’ve made a concerted effort to expand who I’m reading but what I’m reading. I’ve not only shifted gender and background, I’ve opened myself to reading more fiction. I think when we only live in one world and one way of seeing things we limit ourselves. Sometimes I also like to read a book because I know I don’t agree with the author or a review, but I’m curious to read it with my own eyes and make a decision for myself. Diversifying our bookshelf helps remind us that indeed there are OTHER WAYS of seeing the world.

My practice of doodling the books I’ve read over the years also helps me see how the scope of my interests has expanded.

2019 reads

2020 reads

2021 reads

2022 reads

2023 reads

2024/25 reads

My other pondering is why women tend to read lots of books by men, but how many men are making an effort to read books by women? I know in the podcast world (and suspect it’s true in publishing too), it’s well known that women listen to podcasts by both women and men, but men don’t cross over. Why is that? What would happen if we normalized more cross-pollination?

In a future post I’ll invite you to pay attention to who is cited as an expert in the books you’re reading (start your tallies now!). It’s staggering how many men only cite men as experts, but that’s a post for another day. And yet another reason OVERRIDE! is essential as we open our awareness and acknowledge bias and privilege, as we intentionally invite OTHER WAYS.

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In the meantime, here are a few more ways you can connect with me, yourself, and the world at large coming up:

• Subscribe to my Connect the Dots Sunday newsletter for inspiration and upcoming workshops.

• Reflect + Connect free 30-min journaling sessions Mondays in January. Show up as you are, I’ll provide the prompts (or come free write). Three sessions each Monday. We’ll quietly write and then check out in the chat and set an intention for the week.

• CreativeMornings Make a Map! FieldTrip Wed, Jan 28th. We’ll make two maps in one hour. Be sure to bring a banana! 🍌 (This is a creative variation of the Substack workshops I hosted last year.) Free! Limited time replay if you can’t join live. Sign up!

• Get ready for the Feb–April cohort of Mapping Your Path: Finding Direction, a three-month creative experience to make time for what matters—and see your path differently. Open possibility for what’s next. Early bird enrollment opens next week. Sign up to be notified when doors open! This round will have a spirit of OVERRIDE! embedded inside.

On the final day of the month, of the final day of the year, I’m writing a post. Not the one I intended to post last month (I skipped), or this month. Still, I wanted to post as a reminder that even when life doesn’t quite go as planned, there is still much to be grateful for.

In OVERRIDE! I write “When we’re feeling down or overwhelmed, gratitude can be a great tool to help override whatever is in our way while reinforcing more supportive neural pathways. It shifts the energy.” (page 177)

We’re wired to see all that we haven’t done rather than celebrating what we have done and where progress has been made. In the spirit of give yourself some credit (OVERRIDE! page 191) a lack of posting is not a failure. Other things happened in this time. Progress may look different than we expect. Maybe what we really need is to grant ourself grace.

After getting sick and losing my voice not once but twice at the end of 2025 I have a new appreciation for the simple act of speaking again. Gratitude needs not be big and lofty, but rather something that is right in front of us that we may take for granted.

I’m also grateful for each and every one of you who are open to overriding old, outdated ways that no longer serve us. Thank you to everyone who was curious enough to come try banana mapping with me this year. (Those monthly workshops are on hold right now.)

As we close out the year, my invitation to you is to consider how you want to practice gratitude today, and every day. (Let us know in the comments below.)

The world is not always easy to navigate, but finding appreciation in the mundane (or grand) can help shift everything.

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P.S. Here are a few FUN ways to support yourself and those around you in the New Year:

• 📝 Free REFLECT & CONNECT 30-min journaling sessions Mondays in January (multiple sessions per day, prompts provided, all are welcome!)

• ✂️ Vision Board WorkshopJan 10 (limited 2-for-1 tickets if you want to bring a friend; replay available if you can’t join live)

• 🗺️ Make A Map FieldTrip through CreativeMornings global (listing isn’t online yet—tentatively Jan 28, make sure you’re subscribed to my newsletter for updates)

• 🗺️ Mapping Your Path 3-mo workshop + community opens for enrollment mid-Jan for a Feb 5 kick-off (sign up for access to the earlybird discount)

P.S.S. One final ask. If you’ve read and enjoyed OVERRIDE! 📓 I’d be grateful if you could leave a review on Amazon. I know, I know. But it’s immensely helpful as an author to spread the word and increase visibility. You don’t have to have purchased your copy on Amazon to leave a review there.

Psst! Banana mapping this Sunday! 🍌✍️ Get it on your calendar now. 🍌

When I was writing OVERRIDE! I was around a lot of writers working on books of their own, encountering the regular challenges of writers’ block, tight deadlines, and questioning every word on the page. For many books can be a grind, for me, working on the book was a joy. It’s the getting it into the world that feels soul crushing.

Don’t get me wrong, there was lots of joy and celebration, but I also want to explore how twisted this industry can be. This post is not meant to complain, but enlighten folks who may be considering putting a book into the world—through the traditional or indie path to publishing, or are just curious.

I think so much is masked from the public because at the end of the day, writers need to sell books, either to get paid, or sign their next deal. No matter how convoluted, backwards, or frustrating a process is most writers keep their mouth shut. (The beauty of befriending fellow authors is you hear the story behind the story.)

What I’ve learned is that no matter how much research you do, you can’t fully understand the process until you live it. When you hang out around rooms of writers you hear talk of different aspects of getting the book out. There really is a formula, and that formula can be aggravating and exhausting. It also takes serious manpower to get it out, whether it’s hiring a publicist, creating social media content, or putting together events.

The most fascinating example to me is bookstores. And let me tell you, I love bookstores and whenever possible I support local ones instead of buying online.

The way information was presented by the leading global distributor (how you get into stores!) led me to believe certain things would happen (ie. book sales, getting into bookstores). At the London Book Fair I was told “metadata, metadata, metadata.” Yes, my book is findable, but does that translate to representation in bookstores or sales? No. Pas de tout.

That’s where the magical reader comes into play—they’re even more essential than the author to moving books. Readers don’t realize how powerful they are because that’s not the mainstream narrative. The popularity of recommendations on BookTok (yes, it’s huge on TikTok), speaks to the power of sharing favorites. Dearest, readers, please shout your favorite books from rooftops, and leave a review (you don’t have to buy your book on Amazon to leave one there.)

Let’s say you’re a new author and you want to do an event at a bookshop. First off, you’re expected to already have built the relationship with them by the time you reach out to do an event. (Ok, that’s fair, but also not always possible, and chances are you’re juggling a million other things too.) Depending on the city, they may want exclusivity. It needs to be booked 2-3 months in advance, but that also entails deep prayers in most cases that someone will actually respond to you. Bookstores get lots of demands like this too, so it’s a lot to keep up with.

I’d absolutely love to do more book events, but here’s the other catch with bookstores (at least in the US)—they are more interested in hosting you within the first three months of your book release. Novelty is what sells. Now, I get that businesses need to be smart about their resources and staffing, but the question remains, where do authors go?

I’m traveling to Austin for work in December. I reached out to two book stores. One responded that they’re busy with holiday rush, and I’m still waiting to hear from the other. I’m stuck in a catch-22. You need your book to make money to afford going places, and you need to go places to sell your book. And how do you get new audiences in the door?

It’s not uncommon for traditionally published authors to hire their own external editors and publicists in addition to what the publishing house provides (the reality is most of the efforts and resources goes to celebrity authors in those instances). It’s hard to do any of this without external support. That’s why I’ve always framed my book as something I want to nurture long game—I don’t want to pretend to keep up.

Recently a traditionally published author friend was in LA to promote her book. The bookstore not only told her they ran out of time to make the graphic (fair enough, why I make most of mine, to take some pressure off), but if she didn’t bring 25 people to the audience they would cancel. Mind you, my friend does not live in LA, nor is she from there. Yes, she knows people there, but I don’t know if there are any cities in the world where I could get that many people. There’s A LOT of pressures on authors to do and be everything.

Most authors are burned out before their book even hits the market. Traditional publishing needs all the pre-launch marketing to sell books. That’s how you get on lists (ie. NYTimes), and pre-sales also help factor how many copies bookstores buy.

The way I released my book, you can find it at any bookstore in the world—in theory. Except it’s only available at one—Messy Nessy’s Cabinet in Paris, where I hand deliver signed copies (and have been fortunate to host a couple awesome events: here + here). That relationship between a small shop owner and an indie author feels magical. Sadly, I don’t feel that magic elsewhere. Other efforts feel more like hitting my head against the wall, but that doesn’t stop me from trying.

What you can do is go into your favorite bookstore and ask them to order a copy of OVERRIDE! What if there was another way? It’s far less risky for a bookstore to order a book with a home to go to than to stock a book by a new author or indie author. Books are a business after all, but what if there was another way to nurture books?…

If one thing is true about putting a book in the world, you have to be its best advocate and cheerleader.

Most traditional books (and some indies) are printed and housed in warehouses. My book is printed on demand. It makes sense for my international audience base, and I like that it’s less waste/more sustainable (and when you’re an indie author you can update your files if you find a copy, or want to add an ISBN number for your new audio book). But in the system of bookstores, it’s a bigger risk.

Bookstores can’t send the book back to publishers when it’s print on demand. Regardless, bookstores end up destroying loads of books—it’s just how it works when you have limited shelves. (I’m telling you, there’s so much nuance to this industry that most people will never tell you, and you discover it in the back end when listing your self-published book.)

We hear stories and see book covers of millions of copies sold, but that is the exception rather than the rule. (One day we’ll get into the reality of book sales that no one talks about.) It’s not to say that it’s impossible. I think the biggest myth of independent publishing is that of instant gratification. Really, putting a book into the world is a long game. Many authors are ready to move onto the next thing once it comes to life (it’s usually a couple year cycle just to get it into the world, then you have to talk about it endlessly).

In September, I was part of a London Writers’ Salon panel discussion on self-publishing. You can watch the replay here. There’s so much nuance in this industry it’s hard to have a direct answer at times, but like most of life, it’s nice to know what questions to ask and factors to consider. In some respect, I’m grateful I didn’t know some of this going into it—I so easily could have talked myself out of it. This post is more to say, yes, this is true, but go for it anyway!

I know that I’m interested in doing this journey my way, and enjoying the process. I’m not just here to do book signings, I’d rather create banana mapping events where attendees cross-pollinate and meet each other (see below how you can experience it too!). Some of understanding how the game is played is allowing yourself to do the opposite. I’m still learning from readers just what this book is capable of and I’m excited to see where it takes me.

As an indie author I feel like I’m in a unique position to speak about the industry—which is in need of a major OVERRIDE!—with nothing to loose. I have more ideas for how I want to break down and demystify publishing, so if you have any questions, leave them below!

I’m curious! Does any of this surprise you?

P.S. OVERRIDE! The audiobook read by yours truly is coming very soon! It’s stuck somewhere in the convoluted, not so transparent world of publishing and approval processes. Fun times!

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P.S.S. The first Sunday of the month I host a free Banana Mapping Workshop. The next one is this coming Sunday, Nov 2nd at 7pm CET/Paris, 1pm EST/NYC. (Time differences go back to normal Saturday night.) Sign up here to get it on your calendar!

I’m only running this series through the end of the year for now. All you need is a banana (or anything with a peel or something non-traditional to draw on from your recycling bin) and a ball point pen. Oh, and bring a journal too if you have one!

When I first doodled this lobster to include in OVERRIDE! What if there was another way? I didn’t know it was going to become a “thing.” I first drew it for the chapter “Dancing with discomfort” (page 61) inspired by the Dr. Abraham Twerski YouTube video “How do lobsters grow?” that a friend had shared with me.

I liked this analogy as a reminder that life isn’t always comfortable. We can think that we’re doing something wrong when things feel uncomfortable, when really we’re doing something right.

Rather than avoiding discomfort, we can dance with it.

Over the summer in my MAPPING YOUR PATH: OVERRIDE! Playground I was pleasantly surprised when the community all started spotting lobsters in unexpected places (without explicit direction from me). It became our summer trend to share them in all sorts of forms from sandals, to hanging at camp sites, to logos on restaurant menus.

Lobster spotting became code for things are going to be all right. Feeling this way is completely normal, so we might as well embrace it.

I don’t know about you, but I keep spotting lobsters nearly daily!

Do you ever feel like a lobster that’s outgrown its shell?

If you’re ever looking for some extra support, accountability, and connection, check out my 3-month workshop + community, MAPPING YOUR PATH. Mapping Your Path into 2026 is kicking off on Friday, October 3rd. It’s an incredible global community of people navigating journeys of their own, and I would LOVE for you to join us!

And this Sunday, is the first Sunday of the month, so that means free OVERRIDE! Banana Mapping Workshop! 🍌✍️

I’m only committing to running these through the end of the year (for now), so put it on your calendar (sign up here!) so you don’t miss out.


A version of this post was originally published on my Biz Blog.
Lobster doodles by me!
Buy the book. 📓

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I always said I wasn’t a journaler, but back in my childhood bedroom I uncovered journals from so many chapters of my life. For most of my life they were chronicles of my day rather than anything deep, reflective, or juicy.

It wasn’t until the pandemic that journaling got solidified as a (almost) daily practice for me. My hunch is that it became part of the collective too—we suddenly had more time, and more to process. Around that time I’d also hear more entrepreneurs, CEOs, and leaders talking on podcasts about how they journal. Maybe they were onto something?

It turns out that journaling wasn’t something silly that society trained me to judge (girls with their cute little pink diaries writing about boys). Journaling was something far more powerful.

The fact of the matter is I don’t think this post would have gotten written today (or at all?) had I not journaled this morning to help clear my head. I use journaling all the time to help find clarity in the workshops I’m leading. Thirty minutes here can save hours later—and protect my sanity.

We can tell ourselves that we don’t have time to journal, when really journaling is the simple act that can super speed everything else coming together.

Journaling has evolved into something much deeper over the years. Many people became converts after reading Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way where she presents the idea of “morning pages” which are three pages of longhand stream of consciousness journaling as a way to “unclog the gutter.”

While I’ve come to savour the blank page as an invitation to ramble, allow things to be messy, and see what comes out, having a prompt to guide you can be helpful too. It allows us to ask questions we may not have otherwise considered.

In OVERRIDE! What if there was another way? I present journal prompts throughout the book, and have a chapter devoted to the subject (See chapter: Journaling, page 151). Flip to any page on any day to guide you on what to explore that day. The book is intentionally small in order to free up time for you to (re)write your future.

I’ve come to see journaling as a tool for checking in with ourselves and self-reflection, something we so rarely allow ourselves to do. Journaling is one way to take action rather than accepting the status quo. Even when we can’t change the outcome of a situation, we may be able to find some inner peace.

of has shared how journaling has saved her life. During the pandemic she provided a place for people to connect through weekly journal prompts. Her new book The Book of Alchemy shares small essays from influential voices along with journal prompts.

Just this week the Wall Street Journal featured Suleika and her book in an article entitled “How Journal Writing Went from Solo Reflection to a Group Activity.” Her IG caption goes on to describe how book clubs, bachelorette parties, and even family reunions have blossomed into journaling clubs. In a world that needs connection, even this once solitary act can be a new way to connect us.

The timing of the article made me smile knowing that I was feeling this pull, desire, and necessity for connection and decided to try something new this fall. This September, I’m hosting free 30-minute sessions I’m calling REFLECT + CONNECT where we’ll spend the first part quietly journaling with different prompts I provide each week, followed by time to connect.

Over and over I see people wanting to do something but not making the time for it, so I created a new system where people sign up and put it on their calendar as if it’s a doctor’s appointment or meeting with a VIP (that VIP just happens to be themselves).

While finding an hour in the day can be challenging at times, my hope is that 30 minutes can help folks start their weeks off right. And because I have such a global community, I’m playing with times I’m offering the sessions so hopefully there’s at least one that people can join (or join them all!).

It’s also something where I want you to invite friends and colleagues! It’s the more the merrier, and a way to feel less alone in this wild world we live in. You can reconnect with yourself, while connecting with others. You never know what clarity or connection you’ll make.

Speaking of connection, don’t forget to mark your calendars for Sunday, September 1st at 7pm CET/Paris (1pm EST) for our 1st Sunday of the month OVERRIDE! Banana Mapping Workshop! 🍌 ✍️

BYOB = Bring Your Own Banana and I’ll walk you through our creative banana mapping exercise inside OVERRIDE! Whether you’re curious or skeptical, you can’t “understand” banana mapping until you come try it for yourself.

Come to think of it, banana mapping is like a 3D, ephemeral version of journaling!

Don’t be fooled. Journaling doesn’t have to be only for the heavy, dark stuff. It’s an invitation to allow our creativity to flow.

More journaling tips from the Biz Blog archives:

• How to journal (one woman’s approach)

P.S. Journaling is just one of many tools we use inside MAPPING YOUR PATH. The next round—Mapping Your Path into 2026—opens for enrollment in mid-September. It’s a 3-month guided experience and creative reset to help you finish the year strong and step into the next with intention. Stay tuned and sign up to be the first to know!

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Recently I had an exchange with a friend about social media breaks. She was wondering if she should announce that she was taking one when a friend of hers said, “Why would you do that? You hardly post anyway.”

I get that, but I also had a different response. More often than not when I’m not posting I am scrolling, and it’s not a healthy relationship. I choose to announce my social media breaks and post (and update my profile) that I’m taking one for a few reasons.

First, it’s part of my own accountability. Inevitably, before I take one I’m getting one last hit of scrolling until I sign off and instantly feel relief. Second, I like to normalize to others that it’s OK to step away—others can do it too and the world won’t end. We can acknowledge we’re addicted, and do something about it. Finally, in case any opportunities come along (or even my friends writing) I want people to know why I’m not responding. (Although, I am skeptical that people read or see much these days.)

I always start small—one week—but my latest extended to nearly four! It shows the power of starting small, and allowing shifts to grow organically. I wasn’t ready to come back, but I did have things worth sharing.

Small moments, like going to the gym and seeing everyone glued to their screens, act as mirrors. They remind me: this isn’t the world I want to live in. I choose to opt out of it.

Pressing pause is an intentional, and increasingly radical act. Action is how we OVERRIDE!

The other day I was waiting for a boat ride on the Seine. While waiting I enjoyed the view rather than the view of my screen. It was a micro moment of remembering presence and what it feels like to be in the moment. We’re so in autopilot these days, it feels like a silly example to share, but at the same time I wonder when the last time you felt you were present instead of defaulting to your phone?

What’s been most amazing is the flow I’ve had recently. It seriously took me four weeks, but learning to wean myself off my phone has given me space and time to think, and find the clarity for a couple writing projects to click into place. As I say in OVERRIDE! somethings things take the time they take, but I can’t help but believe that creating intentional space makes all the difference. Patience is also a key ingredient we often forget in this world of instant gratification.

It wasn’t really intended to be like this, but just as I’m getting back to finding a better relationship with my phone, I’m getting ready for a full, forced disconnect. It’s not only that the family cabin doesn’t have electricity (we also hand pump water and there’s an outhouse) but in the past, my phone has never had a signal in the region. This time I’m staying longer than usual. I think it will be an interesting experiment.

Many of you are fortunate to have yards and trees and greenery around you in your everyday. Yes, I live in Paris, and it’s gorgeous, but it’s not exactly known for being a capital of nature. I also happen to live in the neighborhood with the least amount of green space.

I write about forest bathing in OVERRIDE! and I’m very much looking forward to the therapeutic effects of nature and my total disconnect.

PONDER: Is there anything you want to disconnect from in the week to come? It can be a small experiment and low stakes. See what happens…

A few chapters from OVERRIDE! What if there was another way? A pocket playbook for possibility you may want to revisit if this post resonated with you:
Press pause. (page 159)
Head to nature. (page 154)
Go for a wander. (page 152)
Dance with discomfort. (page 61)
Dopamine of instant gratification. (page 88)

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P.S. If you’re looking for some added support navigating change, transition, or stepping into your next chapter, Mapping Your Path is for you! The next 3-mo workshop + community— Mapping Your Path into 2026—will help you wrap up 2025 with intention and step into the new year on your own terms You’ll get creative tools, space to reflect, and the support of an incredible global community. Doors open in September— sign up to be the first to know!

🗓️ First Sunday of the month at 7pm CET / 1pm EST — check your local time + mark your calendars NOW!
📍 On Zoom (link emailed 1 hour before)
🍌 Bring a banana + a ballpoint pen
💛 No prep required—just come as you are
✍️ We reflect, we connect, we map, we move forward
➡️ Invite a friend by sharing this Substack!

There’s really no point in trying to “understand” banana maps. You really should just come experience it for yourself!

“Anne has found a way to dive deep into problem-solving and creativity with her banana mapping workshop. There’s nothing like play to trick our minds into doing the hard work. I thoroughly recommend attending one of her free (!!) workshops on the first Sunday of the month.”

— Miriam Calleja, 1st time workshop participant + creativity workshop leader & poet

“People are juggling a lot—but that just means they need more of what you do.” Last month after my monthly banana mapping workshop one of the participants messaged me on Instagram and shared this sentiment. I needed this reminder and reframe.

There are so many days when it feels “why bother” or “this shouldn’t be so hard.” It’s tempting to give up. But every day there is a reminder in the world of why we can’t afford to wait for others to change things.

From the outside, so much looks glamorous, but we rarely see the struggles or the work that really goes in behind the scenes. As I write in OVERRIDE! social media makes it too easy to tell ourselves stories about what someone else’s life looks like. (See OVERRIDE! page 36, chapter: An incomplete list of what shapes us.) Truth be told, I feel like I’m writing into the void a lot of the time.

I’ve been spending more time on LinkedIn lately and you see “leading voices” and more often than not I wonder if they wrote it, or if an AI bot did. Everything can feel so performative. And now we have to live in a world where we have to wonder if that’s a bot or a human responding in the comments too. I’m also catching glimmers of dissenting voices calling out the factory of mass engagement and likes as a metric of success in favor of ANOTHER WAY (see here + here).

In my bi-weekly Connect the Dots newsletter this week I called out this general sense of disassociation and lack of engagement from humanity, and a wonderful thing happened: I received wonderful, personal, honest responses from real humans who responded.

The title of this piece is a bit ironic given the fact that Sunday night I declared a social media break. I know that using my voice is not about mass output or being connected 24/7 or chasing the algorithm. I know that the only sustainable way forward is to take breaks and make sure I’m checking in with myself, and not just stuck in the rat race.

We forget how much change can happen right in our own communities. Even in a mundane interaction with a stranger. The simple joys of life we keep forgetting to make time for. Engagement online does not equal real-world connection.

In OVERRIDE! I write about mirrors (See OVERRIDE! page 120, chapter: We are all mirrors.) where I write “The world provides many opportunities to learn about ourselves. This could be anything from an interaction that makes us self-reflect to encountering someone who helps show us what’s possible (or perhaps showing what we don’t want).”

In my MYP community participants are mirrors for me too. They share the frustrations in their own lives, often stemming from the broken systems in the world around us (healthcare, service, caregiving, and more; See OVERRIDE! page 73, chapter: Chronic systems. In need of update.). And at the same time I can see how the human-centric work they’re doing in the world is more important now than ever. It’s the very reminder I need too.

Recently, I attended VivaTech, a leading technology conference in Paris. For me it was the conversations they weren’t having more than the conversations they were having that were giving me clarity on my direction forward. I keep returning to the need, desire, and necessity for human connection that seems to be an afterthought in too many of the larger conversations.

None of the concepts in OVERRIDE! What if there was another way? are complicated or earth-shattering. Yet there’s a difference between understanding them and actually embodying them—living, and acting by them in a way that feels truly aligned with you.

Perhaps I was guilty of thinking I’d write the book and people would get it and implement the process. I underestimated how much repetition the concepts require.

Repetition is not a bad thing or a failure. I know very well that repetition is required to reinforce neural pathways in order to integrate new belief systems. (See OVERRIDE! page 128, chapter: Reprogram your brain.)

You might think I’m writing this for you—but really, it’s a reminder for me.

The world is moving fast. People are more distracted than ever. We’re becoming numb and passive. And when we notice that happening, that’s our cue to OVERRIDE! and bring us to the world, even if everything around us tries to tell us it’s unimportant or unnecessary.

We're in the swirl of all the things. I know I need to take a beat, and a break, from the online noise and make sure I remember how to think for myself. I'm not checking out from being connected to the world. I'm connecting with myself to better engage with the world.

I wrote 'OVERRIDE!' and even I forget that nothing will change if we don't do something different in order to have a better outcome. It's definitely worth that initial discomfort.

In case you need to hear it, the world needs you and your ideas more than ever.

Join us on Sunday to explore what’s coming up for you in the world in a creative way. Come map on a banana to help uncover how you’ll take empowered action for the times we live in. It’s a powerful way to connect.

I’m not convinced that things are going to shift if we keep doing things the way we always have.

It’s time to get creative if we want to live in a better world. Unprecedented times require new ways to show up in the world.

See you Sunday—JULY 6th—bananas in hand! 🍌 (What am I talking about? More here. There’s a connective power to banana maps that the world needs right now.)

Make sure you’re subscribed to get notified and receive the link to the Zoom room. (Check your promotions folder if you don’t see it.)

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P.S. OVERRIDE! 📓 makes a thoughtful gift if you have a friend who feels stuck or frustrated by the world we live in. It applies to workplaces too. It’s also great for travel and fits in your pocket.

Pick up a copy here, or ask at any independent bookstore and they can order it for you!

WHAT IF THERE WAS ANOTHER WAY?

So much in life is a moving target. We wait to celebrate the finished product, the achievement, the big thing. All too often we never celebrate at all, as the finish line keeps moving, we’re too caught up in the grind of life, or we’re too tired to enjoy it. For many people it’s also uncomfortable to celebrate themselves.

Life is really made up of a series of small steps that all add up. When we learn to celebrate the progress along the way—no matter how small or seemingly insignificant—we can better appreciate the journey, and our accomplishments. What if it wasn’t really about the outcome, but how we got there, and how we showed up for ourselves along the way? When we can let go of external validation, the journey tends to be far more enjoyable. What if we rethought our metrics for success?

It’s hard to believe it’s been ONE YEAR since I introduced OVERRIDE! What if there was another way? A pocket playbook for possibility. On May 23, 2024 I invited everyone I knew in Paris to celebrate my launch party, except at the time no one even knew I had written a book until they got the invite (and were told to wear black and white!).

Like many things in life, this endeavour took much longer than expected. Along the way, I chose not to take certain short cuts, instead, playing the long game. I savoured the journey, loving learning along the way (self-publishing and publishing is a wild world of its own). I knew I needed to mark the occasion.

Today I wanted to celebrate that journey by looking back at the launch party in Paris. I’ve written about it in the past, but I thought a video would be fun to bring it to life. It was a BLAST!

{Click to play}

We can tend to put something into the world and then move onto the next. For me, this book is something I’ve known needs nurturing, and time. And that’s why I wanted to take a moment to celebrate another milestone, and note a plot point in this journey. I can even acknowledge that it’s taken me a year to put together a video. (It’s a good thing I operate by the mantra, it’s never too late!)

I have to admit, May 2024 was one of the stranger, more intense moments of life. I not only was celebrating putting a book in the world, but the next morning after this party I flew to NYC, got off my flight, took a taxi to the cemetery for the funeral of one of my best friends (and one of the people the book is dedicated to) and later that day facilitated her celebration of life. It was a reminder that Two things can be true at once (See page 168). We can experience intense joy, and sadness all in the same sentence. (It’s also why I spoke about grief in On loss. (See page 98).

With time I want to write more about this side of the journey. For now, I share this as a reminder that we never know where our lives will take us. We can’t wait to celebrate. There is so much worth celebrating, even in a challenging world. I very much encourage people to Celebrate small wins (See page 179). The big wins are worth celebrating too.

PONDER: What do you want to celebrate in your life today?

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P.S. Our next monthly FREE banana mapping the first Sunday of the month inspired by OVERRIDE! is Sunday, June 1st at 7pm CET/Paris (1pm EST). Make sure you mark your calendars NOW. I’ll email everyone the reminder 1 hour before kick off (check your promotions folder if you don’t see it; and I’ll add the Zoom to the comments of this post). You must be subscribed to this Substack to receive the link.

P.S.S. If you want to experience banana maps in a different context, I’m doing a takeover during this year’s 2-day World Wide Wander hosted by Street Wisdom. You can sign up for my banana mapping session (different prompt) on June 27th or if you’re in Paris, I’m hosting an in-person wander on June 28th where you can go on your own quest (space is limited). Free to join.

P.S.S.S. This summer’s Mapping Your Path: OVERRIDE! Playground 3-month workshop + community uses OVERRIDE! as our framework to help guide you as you move the needle forward on whatever you’re working on (along with direct support and cheerleading from me!). We have an incredible community joining us around the world, from diverse backgrounds, and facing different challenges and chapters of life. We officially got started one week ago, but it’s not too late (yet). Now is your last chance to join before doors close for good!

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There’s this strange thing about change: it can feel slow, and then one day something shifts (perhaps perspective?), and suddenly everything is in motion.

For the past months—even years, really—I’ve felt a strange relationship with time and awareness of myself inside it. In the past, I’ve written about the season of slow, the discomfort of transformation and the journey of evolution.

These are all things I had to figure out on my own (aka “the hard way”). From the outside, journeys can look seamless, but inside it’s very different. (See OVERRIDE! page 59, chapter: Life is not linear.)

If I were to name the core feeling I have most of the time it’s WILD DISCOMFORT. No one ever warns you about discomfort, so we’re often made to believe we’re doing something wrong—or that something is wrong with us—when in fact, this is all part of our growth. And that growth takes courage and bravery. (See OVERRIDE! page 61, chapter: Dance with discomfort.)

Still, we keep showing up and trusting the process.

Last week felt pivotal for me in some internal shifts. I attended the 3-day ChangeNOW summit for solutions for the planet in Paris. I was surrounded by change makers, activists, and purpose-driven entrepreneurs. In a world dominated by doom and gloom, let me tell you, being in that room (the stunning Grand Palais!) was a brilliant re-wiring. There are so many people actively working towards change. Hope is contagious. Even more so when it’s backed by action.

The following day, I found myself at The American Cathedral of Paris in the presence of Bishop Mariann Edgar Budde. To be honest, I don’t feel a big pull to the church, and I wasn’t familiar with her work until inauguration day but there was a curiosity in me to follow it. I recently read How We Learn to Be Brave, her book that was published in 2023, in two days. I never read books that fast! Something resonated—perhaps her honesty and vulnerability of her own journey that so few people share.

Before her sermon I attended the church forum to witness her navigate a conversation with the congregation. She opened by sharing how she tries to live her life. (As a facilitator I love witnessing people in different domains navigate hard conversations—she was a beautiful listener.)

One of the things that struck me most was that she said she’s been in her role as Bishop at the Washington Cathedral for fourteen years. And in those fourteen years that she’s been making bold statements all along about treating people with equal dignity. Yet she can count on one hand the number of times when she has actually been heard. One of those rare days was inauguration day.

While her words felt audacious to some, for her and her church this was no different than a typical sermon she would give. But in this context her words had ripples.

She said she never can predict if or when something she says will be heard. I think that’s the beauty of bravery. We keep going despite not knowing the outcome. We keep going despite the fact it often feels like no one is listening. (See OVERRIDE! page 52, chapter: Change is hard.)

I’ve often had to tell myself that things will take the time they take. During the wrap-up workshop of my most recent Mapping Your Path cohort I found the message “it’s worth the wait” coming through.

Bishop Budde reminded us there’s no guarantee for success for anything in life, so pick what you would do anyway. (See OVERRIDE! page 63, chapter: Redefining success.) She went on to say that transformation happens in relationship, so she wants to create safe spaces to be yourself.

Perhaps being brave isn’t pushing through at all costs, but being consistent, and keeping going. You never know who’s listening—or when your message will finally get through.

I hope to see many of you Sunday for banana mapping! 🍌✍️ If you can’t make it this time, I’ll be back the 1st Sunday in June for another round.

You may also be interested in my new round of Mapping Your Path: OVERRIDE! Playground. This 3-month workshop + community is designed to support you as you make change in your life, and in the world—all while having fun and the support of an incredible community.

This round has an extra special twist as we’ll be weaving in exercises and concepts from OVERRIDE! What if there was another way? as our companion for the journey. Check it out! We officially kick off May 13th—I’d love for you to join us!

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“Anne has found a way to dive deep into problem-solving and creativity with her banana mapping workshop. There’s nothing like play to trick our minds into doing the hard work. I thoroughly recommend attending one of her free (!!) workshops on the first Sunday of the month.”

— Miriam Calleja, first time workshop participant

Earlier this month I announced an experiment (see here) hosting a mini workshop inspired by the exercises in my book, OVERRIDE! What if there was another way? I didn’t know if anyone would show, but they did! All 9 of them :)

We had participants from three countries, first-time banana mappers, and even a surprise guest my dad met on a train! Some mapped from their cars, others from home, and one participant swapped a banana for a grapefruit (it happens!). One banana map was instantly devoured—they do make great snacks!

A page from OVERRIDE! What if there was another way? which helped set us up for the workshop.

The first workshop took place on March 2, 2025 after what felt like a particularly intense week in the US. Now that it’s our “new normal” for the time being, I was reminded that it’s so important that we need to gather in these times and not feel powerless.

In Priya Parker’s recent newsletter “Apathy to Action” she wrote about how essential gathering is for the exchange of information. It’s also how we inspire each other. In heavy times, we need spaces to gather, connect, and do something unexpected—like mapping on a banana!

Image via @priyaparker’s Instagram.

In the world we live in it can feel like there’s no point to do anything. “It won’t matter or make a difference.” That is just a story we’re telling ourselves (see part 2 of OVERRIDE! on mindset). We must gather to inspire. I want to leave people feeling hope and empowered, to leave the hour with an action they want to take. Over and over the workshops I’ve run remind me of the importance of the invisible forces that link up in community.

My 2025 word is CONNECTIVITY to serve as my own reminder of why this is how I want to show up for the world. (My 2025 map is another reminder.)

Priya’s work is all about The Art of Gathering: How we meet and why it matters (the title of her first book). The day before I ran my first workshop/experiment, as I was putting my slides together I was inspired by the concept of the Town Hall I’d seen in the news where everyone is welcome to share their concerns, and we learn from different perspectives and how others see the world. Sharing is part of the equation. We don’t just passively listen to leaders—everyone can become part of the conversation. As with everything I do, I wanted to give this concept my own twist.

Each month, we’ll begin with the same prompt—the first banana map exercise in OVERRIDE!—so we can track change over time. The conversations, insights, and connections will always be new. This is not to dwell on the hard, but over time we’ll both be able to see the evolution of the world and how we show up in it. I want people to keep retuning month after month. You also never know how you’ll inspire or be inspired by others who join! That’s where the magic lies. ✨

During the first workshop I realized I need to identify my own bias and lens of influence (I’m American by birth, and have lived in France for over 15 years), which is something I address in the book. It was interesting being in an international room and being reminded we’re all coming into these gatherings from different vantage points. Participants have agency to take the prompt in different directions.

I’m also an active participant in all my workshops. I never know what may come up on my banana map. This day was more words than doodles.

My banana map definitely had recency bias. I was highly influenced by just having watched British filmmaker Adam Curtis’s “HyperNormalisation” documentary (available to watch on YouTube and Vimeo), listening to the Meidas Touch podcast (which had just surpassed Joe Rogan for the #1 spot), and being reminded of Robert Putnam’s work Bowling Alone: The collapse and revival of the American community (most recently featured in the Netflix documentary “Join or Die: A film about why you should join a club”). (All three I had featured in my Connect the Dots newsletter that day.)

On any given day or any moment, something very different or unexpected may come up on your banana map. Banana maps can be highly cathartic at a most basic level, or they may help reveal new connections, wisdom, or intel to help you keep going forward. You never know until you try… Stay open!

I recorded the March workshop for my own records but won’t be sharing the replay. Since this series is an experiment, I want to keep it live-only for now—people tend to share more openly when they know it’s just for those in the room. My Mapping Your Path workshops are always recorded for those who can’t join live, but for now, I’m keeping this free series simple and sustainable. If I launch a paid private Substack community, I will introduce recordings—but we’re not there yet!

So without further ado….

MARK YOUR CALENDARS! 📆
Join me for a free OVERRIDE! banana mapping workshop / Town Hall on the first Sunday of every month at 7pm CET/ Paris (1pm EST/NYC, 10am PST/SF). The next one is Sunday, April 6th—I'll send a reminder + Zoom link to all subscribers an hour before we start!

This is a BYOB [Bring Your Own Banana] 🍌 event. Note: Bananas and ballpoint pens make for the ideal mapping experience (come see why for yourself!). However, “banana maps” are an all inclusive term which can also be applied to anything with a peel or something non-traditional to map on that you grab from a recycling bin. The joy of banana maps comes from letting go of perfectionism.

This monthly series is free to join. There’s no pressure to have read or purchased OVERRIDE! 📓 to participate in a workshop. If you are interested in picking up a copy, you can support me directly by purchasing a copy at override-book.com. The book is available worldwide (it’s printed and shipped locally to be more sustainable). It is available in print and e-book.

Friends are invited too! Encourage them to sign up for my Substack so they get notified as well (and get the link to the Zoom!)

I hope to see you the first Sunday in April (April 6th)! of next month!

P.S. Want to help more people find their way back to center? Forward this post to a friend—or better yet, invite them to join you!

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A quick note to say I’m experimenting with hosting mini workshops inspired by the exercises in OVERRIDE! book. My hope is they can be a way to gather and feel supported in the world we live in. The first edition will be this Sunday, March 2nd at 7pm CET (Paris), 1pm EST (NYC), 9am PST. BRING A BANANA!🍌 All subscribers are welcome to join. Information is linked below. [FOLLOW THIS POST for all future banana mapping on the first Sunday of each month.]

If you run in creative circles, chances are you’ve heard of The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. First released in 1992 it’s become a “Bible” for creative unblocking that has changed millions of lives. But here’s a confession: I’ve never made it all the way through.

Even if you’re not familiar with the title, chances are you’ve heard of two of Cameron’s key foundational ideas: “morning pages” (3-pages of long form journaling each morning to “unclog the gutter”) and “artists dates” (taking yourself somewhere each week for inspiration). Throughout the book, which is broken into a 12-week guided program with weekly assignments, these two foundations are the common thread.

I’ve had multiple friends swear by this book and cite it as a key force between making a big life change. One went on to write her own book. Another pivoted her career to photography and painting.

I’ve met countless people who have bought or started The Artist’s Way—but far fewer who have finished it. And the ones who haven’t? They often feel a twinge of guilt, as if they’re somehow “failing” before they even started. But what if the issue isn’t them? What if the book itself doesn’t fit how modern life works?

My personal belief is that even when we do things imperfectly, it still all adds up. Trust the messages you receive to be enough. It was that approach that I took when writing OVERRIDE! What if there was another way? A pocket playbook for possibility. I wanted the reader to have discernment to go through it in a way that worked for them.

Because The Artist’s Way is so widely celebrated I think many people feel shame around the fact that they’ve never gotten through it, or may feel a bit “broken” because they have not found the secret to life. It can become overwhelming quickly, which of course is not helpful when you’re feeling blocked.

The way that I’ve seen people work through it most successfully is in doing it in community, whether someone is hosting a group, or a book club reads it together. This kind of work can be isolating. It’s a book that needs accountability.

I’m not sure if Cameron ever addresses it in the book (more likely in later editions), but community is something I wanted to address in OVERRIDE! It was also the impetus for creating this companion website for the book out of the gate, as well as creating facilitation resources so people can gather, connect, and realize they’re not alone in many of the ideas they feel.

One of the first decisions I made when imagining OVERRIDE! was to create something light, portable, and easy to engage with.

The Artist’s Way is dense. It’s not the heaviest book in the world, but certainly not the lightest. The content has you do some deep excavation too. When a book feels overwhelming, it’s easy to drop off.

I wanted OVERRIDE! to be different. A book you could travel with, slip into your bag, pick up and put down anytime. Recently, I was at a networking event when a woman pulled OVERRIDE! out of her purse and said, “Look what I was reading on the metro here.” That’s exactly what I hoped for—something that fits into real life.

It was also important for me to create a book which had a structure that allowed creative freedom. Not only do we have limited hours in the day, we have brains that function differently. OVERRIDE! encourages breaking the rules, experimenting with different approaches, and finding what works for you. I’ve loved hearing from readers that are intentionally going through it slowly. There are multiple ways forward.

I want the reader to have agency in the change they want in the world. No prescribed steps—just invitations to explore. Write your own permission slip. Flip to any page on any day to receive a message/reminder you may need to hear, or read it straight through. OVERRIDE! invites playfulness, drop-in engagement, and the idea that there’s no “behind.” You can start anywhere, anytime. (In creating a shorter, easier to digest book, it also makes re-reads for reinforcement more accessible.)

While The Artist’s Way is highly introspective, OVERRIDE! encourages creative action and interaction with the world. The focus is on staying open, trying, and doing (not just thinking about it). The entirety of part three is focused on taking action and getting out of our head so we can show up in the world in a way that feels true to us.

I wanted to be accessible, and invite in a range of tools that readers can experiment with, as well as invite a sense of play. It’s not about doing it all, or doing anything perfectly. I didn’t want OVERRIDE! to feel like school. In fact, I want people to undo so much of how they learned in school, and question how things have always been done.

One of the biggest things The Artist’s Way doesn’t address? Privilege and societal programming.

So many of our creative blocks aren’t just personal—they come from the messaging we’ve received since childhood and the world around us. From school, family expectations, media representation—these all shape what we think is “possible” for us.

While I firmly believe everyone is creative, creativity (of even doing “self work”) isn’t equally accessible to all. A bookseller once told me she never felt like The Artist’s Way was “for her” because she didn’t grow up with means. That hit me. Cameron assumes everyone can carve out time for morning pages or artist dates, but not everyone has that luxury. This isn’t limited to financial means. Parents and caregivers have responsibilities that pull their time, energy, and attention. We are all human.

This isn’t about shaming privilege—it’s about naming it so we can break free from limiting beliefs we’ve inherited that inform the actions we take—or don’t take. Once we see these as constructs, we don’t have to hold them as truth. And that changes everything. Acknowledging what is at play is part of our liberation. It can be a complete game changer when this becomes apparent, as if to free us. If we miss a day of morning pages, we’ll still be OK.

This isn’t a post to shun or dump on a book that has changed millions of lives. It’s a reminder that there are always OTHER WAYS forward. It’s an invitation to ask more questions.

Times change. We evolve. Creativity isn’t a one-size-fits-all process. Life certainly isn’t. Maybe OVERRIDE! can be the next-generation The Artist’s Way.

Just like OVERRIDE!, The Artist’s Way started as a self-published book. We never know where pathways may take us…

It’s a bold ask. But then again, so was The Artist’s Way when it first began.


I’m curious. Have you read The Artist’s Way? Tell me in the comments.

🌟 YOU’RE INVITED! 🌟

I hope you join me this Sunday, March 2nd for a mini workshop in community, my latest idea I’m playing around with, and the one is free to join. We’ll gather on Zoom at 7pm CET (Paris), 1pm EST (NYC), 9am PST, (that’s 9am Monday in AEDT (Sydney)). (Be sure to add it to your calendar!) It will run between 30min-1 hour.

Join the Zoom

We’ll be working through the first banana map exercise in the book, so you’ll need to 🍌BRING A BANANA🍌 and a ballpoint pen! (No banana? Grab anything with a peel, or something from the recycling bin. Anything non-traditional to map on works, although bananas will give you the maximum experience.)

UPDATE: Learn more about the workshop series here + subscribe to receive access to the Zoom room each month.

I will be recording the session, but TBD if I’ll be posting the replay or not. As this is an early prototype and I’m not giving you a lot of notice, I want to see how it goes before over promising. (When you buy the book, there’s access to a pre-recorded workshop in the back for those who are interested.)

Haven’t read the OVERRIDE!? 📓 Come anyway! (You can pick up a copy here if you do want one!). Curious minds are welcome. Have friends who are curious to join? Tell them to subscribe to this Substack!

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There’s no way I could have predicted the future, or what the state of the world would be right now when I wrote OVERRIDE! What if there was another way?. I wrote it to be timeless. As I was writing it I noticed how variations on the themes kept emerging. Editing this book could have gone on forever, but instead, I wanted to present ideas that could be explored well beyond the pages of the book.

It’s really easy to be distracted and lose focus in the times we live in (turns out distraction and chaos is a real tactic in authoritarian rule), but in order to OVERRIDE what’s no longer working, we’re going to have to be intentional about our actions. (Remember, OVERRIDE requires new action so we don’t keep repeating what’s not working.)

OVERRIDE! was written with the intention where you could open to any page on any day to have the reminder that you need. I’ve pulled out six reminders from the pages of the book to serve as for the times. I know there are countless perspectives related to these themes to learn from others. My perspective is one side, which is always evolving.

1. ASK MORE QUESTIONS.

(Page 113)

Stop making assumptions. Question everything. Ask questions. And more questions. Start valuing questions over answers. Be OK not having answers, questions can still be progress.

2. LISTEN. REALLY LISTEN.

(Page 115)

Listening is one of the most undervalued skills out there. We put pressure on having answers, and we get too stuck in our own response that we forget to actually listen. We need to listen to the voices of others (without judgment). Even if we don’t agree with someone we still have something we can learn from, or it may shift how we respond. (We must get outside of our [naive] bubbles to understand the world and make real change!) Listening lends itself to remind us to PAY ATTENTION.

3. DEFINE TERMS.

(Page 169)

We may think we’re speaking the same language or about the same subject as someone else, but often there’s something “lost in translation.” We may feel shame if we don’t know what something actually means (or take the time to look it up). It never hurts to take a few extra moments to define a term. Even if it’s in everyday language, defining terms can help insure we’re all talking about the same thing.

4. THE POWER OF THE COLLECTIVE.

(Page 54)

Together we are powerful. We are most powerful when we focus on ourselves and the part we play. We can’t change others, but we can help model how we want to show up in the world. The collective has the power to spread like a virus for good. Let’s come up with small ways where our actions can inspire others to do their own part.

5. CONNECT WITH OTHERS.

(Page 193)

We need connection. We’re not designed to do life alone. When we connect with others we soon can see that we’re not the only one who feels this way (and that there is indeed ANOTHER WAY). Not everyone has to become your new BFF, we all can play different roles. Keep in mind when you start overriding ways that no longer serve you (or society), not everyone in your life will understand at first. This is where community is key. We can inspire each other to keep going.

6. WHAT LEADERSHIP LOOKS LIKE.

(Page 78)

What is leadership? What does it mean to lead? What qualities do the best leaders possess? How do they communicate? Are they looking beyond their own personal interests? Are they the loudest in the room? Do leaders look the same way today as you saw them when you were growing up?

I’m curious what reminders have been helpful for you—from the book, or otherwise—in these times.

I’ve come to see a lot of mainstream media can miss the mark of how we present information. Here are some of the voices I’m turning to for information and expanding my world view:

• Tressie McMillan Cottom — writer, sociologist, and professor (see this clip on “The Daily Show”, and more of her writing for The New York Times)

• Matt Bernstein is a queer culture reporter with his own platform, known as @mattxiv on Instagram (incredibly informative), and hosts a very informative podcast, A Bit Fruity . (Don’t be fooled by the fancy nails, or handstands. He is is a force to be recokoned with and is self-financed on Patreon.)

• is a former Secretary of Labor who uses his online platforms including to explore (and expose) where power lies (@rbreich on Instagram and Substack)

• – breaks down government through her Substack so you can understand it (She goes by @sharonsaysso on Instgram and has written a book, The Small and Mighty)

• — is an American historian writing “Letters from an American” on Substack

• is a culture and tech reporter who has recently started her own publication on Substack to bypass gatekeeping and report honestly. (You can often hear her on A Bit Fruity with Matt Bernstein.)

• Courier Newsroom

• Teen Vogue

• Rolling Stone

Please amplify other voices for these times in the comments of this post.

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Get your own copy of OVERRIDE! What if there was another way? A pocket playbook for possibility at override-book.com.

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I think we can all agree that 2024 was a wild ride. Without dwelling, I think it’s important to look back on the year and give ourselves credit (page 191; chapter: Give yourself some credit) for all we’ve gotten through and navigated this year. I know me 5 years ago would not have fared as well, nor would have my nervous system. And while negativity bias often means the bad and hard stuff is what surfaces first, I think it’s important to zoom out and be able to see—and celebrate—our real progress and just how far we’ve come. (See page 179, chapter: Celebrate small wins and page 136, chapter: Zoom in and zoom out).

My goal is to get where I’m sharing regular round ups, but until we enter a magic world where there are endless hours in the day to do everything else, I’m allowing this post to be good enough. (See page 187, chapter: Write your own permission slip). Instead, this is my invitation to you to help me complete and build out the post by sharing your own insights and observations in the comments.

We’re not only capturing the bad and the broken, but the beautiful examples too—examples of ANOTHER WAY. Even if you haven’t read the book, I think you can come up with something to contribute.

OVERRIDE! is broken down into three main parts: A world of illusions (where we acknowledge the imperfect world we live in and why we believe what we believe; there’s a whole list of things that are broken/systems that are rigged), An empowered mind (where simple shifts in mindset can help change how we see the world and open new possibilities), and Strategies for action (change is not possible unless we take [aligned] action; small steps count!). (And if you haven’t picked it up yet, all the page numbers and chapters are references to the print edition of my book.)

In no particular order these are some of my “made me think” moments of 2024:

SPORT

After seeing several UVA (my alma mater) swimmers medal in Paris, I’ve become hooked to the podcast “Unfiltered Waters” hosted by former Olympic swimmers Missy Franklin and Katie Hoff. As I listen to their interviews with elite athletes (mostly, but not all swimmers), I can’t help but see so many themes from OVERRIDE! come up in their conversations, particularly regarding mindset. To be able to compete at that level every athlete must overcome something. (See page 109, Part 2: An empowered mind.)

There was so much complaining and naysaying going into Paris 2024 it was easy to get caught up in it as the truth. As someone who was here and on the ground, it was pure magic. It was an excellent reminder to me that we need guides and vision holders to show us ANOTHER WAY is possible. For Paris it was former Olympian and gold medalist in slalom canoeing Tony Estanguet who became the face of the Paris Games. In a culture known for c’est pas possible (See: page 15; chapter The uncommon choice), Tony became a leader who made the impossible possible from the Opening Ceremonies on the Seine to beach volleyball and blind football in Eiffel Tower Stadium, and taekwondo and fencing in the Grand Palais. He no doubt had an incredible team, but it takes the right leader to stretch and be an ambassador to the people. (see page 78, chapter: What leadership looks like.)

Simone Biles normalized prioritizing mental health when she pulled out of the Tokyo Olympic Games to a mix of admiration, and criticism. Her Netflix documentary, “Simone Biles Rising,” came out shortly before the Paris 2024 Olympics (where I had the honor of seeing her do her thing!) giving us a peek inside just how not only scary, but dangerous the “twisties” were. It allowed her to give her side of the story a voice. In part 2 we see how she really has moved on from what other people thing, and has FUN! (See: page 117, chapter: Logic + intuition. and page 182, chapter: Talk to a professional.)

The 2024 Paris Paralympic Games were incredibly inspiring to see first hand. However, it was much more challenging for an interested public to find where to watch it. The Opening Ceremonies of the Paralympic Games was incredibly powerful and I so wish the world could have seen it in full for the beauty and representation. I had to follow my own curiosity to understand the different types of disabilities competing and various classification systems. The stories of these athletes need to be elevated, thankfully I was able to learn so much by following many online. It was a powerful remind that we have to be our own advocates if we want our voice and story heard. (See page 67, chapter: Stereotypes and representation and page 137, chapter: Creative constraints and page 150, chapter: Follow your curiosity.)

“America’s Sweethearts: The Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders” documentary [Netflix] revealed that the dancers who help the franchise earn millions don’t get paid much more than Chick-fil-a workers, have expectations of volunteer opportunities, and most have to juggle another full-time job to make ends meet. It makes one wonder, would men this visible ever be paid so little? (See page 68, chapter: Rigged systems.)

I loved discovering USA Rugby 7s (a sport I did not know existed) Ilona Maher via her Instagram reels where she normalizes the duality of being a rubgy player who loves to tackle and also loves wearing red lipstick and feeling beautiful. After the Olympics she went on to finish second place in “Dancing with the Stars,” again, promoting the message that women can do anything, and you don’t have to have a certain body type. This was the first Olympics where the athletes really got to give a voice to themselves, not just what was crafted by the media. Most recently she’s been giving a voice to the fact that she can’t just play her sport, she needs to do the other things (including social media) in order to make a living because of the massive pay discrepancy in women’s sports, giving a whole new meaning to influencer. (See page 67, chapter: Stereotypes and representation and page 138, chapter: Alternative narratives and page 168, chapter: Two things can be true at once.)

I read soccer star Megan Rapinoe’s memoir One Life. She was part of the US Olympic team in the past, and became known to me during the 2019 FIFA Women’s World Cup when she had pink hair, and team USA won the tournament. Her role in working towards equal pay in women’s soccer was eye opening and pivotal. (Their FIFA win was still a $370 million shortfall with the men. Mind you, the US women’s team is regularly winning on the world’s stage—including this summer when I saw them take gold in Paris!—and the men didn’t even qualify for the Olympics). Her voice has long been one to stand up for social justice issues, and she was one of the first athletes to follow Colin Kaepernick’s lead to kneel during Black Lives Matter. Athletes go far beyond sport these days, reminding us all that we don’t all fit into one identity. (See page 68, chapter: Rigged systems and page 82, chapter: Work and identity and page 100, chapter: An incomplete, unofficial list of that which is broken.)

BOOKS

I thoroughly enjoyed Glynnis MacNichol’s book No One Tells You This about life as an unmarried, childless 40-something navigating the world (she’s on Substack too at ). She’s one of rare voices to acknowledge actually being happy breaking beyond society’s blueprint of get married and have kids, while also addressing that our close friends can be such an incredible support that one person can never satisfy. In addition to trying to navigate her own life, she’s navigating a parent with dementia, and the health care system. The book is an inside look into what so many people feel, yet feel ashamed to say in the juggling act of it all. Life is hard, but she also finds the beauty in redefining what is true for her. (See: page 43: chapter: Societal norms and page 73, chapter: Chronic systems. In need of update.)

I read Maisie Hill’s Period Power and I’m just in awe (not in a good way) of the lack of research and education about women’s health. This is not what I learned in school. My friends and I are navigating things where no one has answers. It’s not like women don’t compose of ~50% of the population!? It does a disservice when men aren’t educated too. (See: page 45, chapter: The missing curriculum.)

I tried to read a book by a wildly popular male business/thought leader this spring after hearing him speak, but started to do my mental tally of how many women were cited in it, and had to put it down. It’s mind boggling how few men can cite women as experts in their books, except for sprinkling one or two for good measure. (I really want to make a whole post about this where we can crowd source different books and what the breakdown is!) (See page 67, chapter: Stereotypes and representation.)

THE NEWS

Gisèle Pélicot became a feminist icon at age 72 after winning her trial against her ex-husband who drugged and raped her along with 50 other men. In a deeply disturbing case (how could so many neighbors and people from the town participate and no one reported it), she chose not to hide, but to be vocal, and visible. Justice was served, but it’s crazy to think the outcome is only what it is because there was video proof. Still, it’s a bit staggering how few men shared this case or acknowledged the outcome. Like so many things, rape is not just a “women’s issue.” (See: page 65, chapter: The role and desire for control and page 162: Speak your truth.)

Billionaires only became richer after Trump won the election. What do billionaires need with more money? Why is it the male billionaires who seem to be hoarding the money, while women give it away? Why is having so much money celebrated when so many people in the world are in need? (See: page 100, chapter: An incomplete, unofficial list of that which is broken.)

U.S. headlines on any given day, continued gun violence and death of innocent people going about their daily life, dissolution of French government …. It’s impossible to keep up! (see page 78, chapter: What leadership looks like and page 192: Take a nap!)

MOVIES/TV

Season 3 of “Bridgerton” (Netflix) came out this year where we saw Penelope (Nicola Coughlan) as a full figured woman we’re led to believe is the black sheep of the family fall for Colin Bridgerton, which some would argue would never happen to a girl “like her.” It’s one of the rare moments where we see a body like hers as desirable in the mainstream, in a most refreshing way—beauty does not mean looking like skin and bones. (See page 67, chapter: Stereotypes and representation.)

”Nobody Wants This” became very talked about in my circles as Adam Brody’s character represented an emotionally mature male character who is open to hard conversations and is not threatened by a woman bringing her full self. It looks seamless, but it rarely represented. This series also normalizes that we’re all creating stories in our head. (See page 122, chapter: The story I’m telling myself… and page 182, chapter: Talk to a professional.)

The smear campaign against Blake Lively during the movie premiere of “It Ends With Us” emerged months later after the film came out. Her side of the story was broken by The New York Times and (and a legal filing) where there were many references of her “showing her receipts” (going to HR, asking for standard practices to be put into place, filing complaints). It reminded me just how much society as a whole doesn’t believe or trust women, and the problematic nature of social media where even PR experts were sharing they fell for the smear campaign despite knowing how the machine works behind the curtain. (See: page 113, chapter: Ask more questions.)

“Wicked,” the new major motion picture, had eerie parallels to fascist leanings in the world in late 2024 (as captured by Matt Bernstein aka @mattxiv). I was riveted by his solo podcast episode of “A Bit Fruity” asking, “Is Glinda good?”. “Wicked” is a brilliant, captivating movie (one that I did not expect to LOVE), and it’s been so inspiring watching the actors shine during promo and interviews. (Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo negotiated contracts together and got paid the same amount—talk about Shine Theory in action!) (See: page 113, chapter: Ask more questions and page 132, chapter Scarcity vs. abundance and page 194, chapter: Invite in MAGIC!)

One of the most beautiful posts I’ve seen for the end of the year is from Suleika Jaouad (of The Isolation Journals with Suleika Jaouad). She reflected on her ritual of going through her entire camera role at the end of the year, and was able to prove to herself that despite her third cancer diagnosis, there still can amazing moments, and much beauty amongst the darkness. One of those beautiful moments was celebrating the powerful documentary “American Symphony” which was intended to —and does—capture her wildly talented husband, musician Jon Batiste’s road to play at Carnegie Hall, while paralleling her unexpected second cancer diagnosis. Everything in Suleika’s life seems to speak to the multiplicity of truths. (See: page 73, chapter: Chronic systems. In need of update—where Suleika gets a mention! and page 168, chapter: Two things can be true at once.)

Once the themes of OVERRIDE! What if there was another way? are in your head, it’s hard to stop seeing them. That’s a good thing. As the author, the themes are deeply engrained in me, and I want them to be in yours too. It’s why I encourage readers to return to the book repeatedly as part of our collective rewiring. It helps take a lot of pressure off of life too when you realize it’s not you, it’s the systems, and you are not alone. When we can name and acknowledge what’s going on in the world we stop giving it so much power, instead, taking the power back for ourselves and the collective good. (Then we take small steps towards real change, one small step at a time.) (See page: 178, chapter: Take small(er) steps.)

Ok, your turn! Share an event, person, moment, observation, or reflection from 2024 in the comments. Let us know how something/one opened your mind, or how it’s showing you what’s possible—for good! (See: page 54, chapter: The power of the collective.)

Getting this book into the world MY WAY was my ultimate OVERRIDE! of 2024. What hurdles did you overcome this year that were worth it? What stories did you rewrite? What was your biggest OVERRIDE? ⚫️

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Stay tuned in the New Year. Every month I’ll be offering monthly mini-workshops to dive deeper into the exercises in the book for paid subscribers (forthcoming). There’s power in doing this work together. You are not alone.

WHAT IF THERE WAS ANOTHER WAY? is the question I bring to all of my work. It’s also the question I invite clients (and readers) to ask themselves. We all can get stuck in our ways, but when we allow ourselves to shift our mindset, let go of some control (and outdated ideas of how things should be done), and even invite in a sense of play so much can change.

No matter what path you take when publishing a book, there’s never a straight path without twists, turns, curveballs, and probably a bit of wanting to bang your head against the wall. There is no one way and there is no right way. We also live in a constantly changing world.

My first dance with the idea of publishing a book was about a decade ago. I’d put together two proposals for two unrelated books and knew the exact agent I wanted to work with. She was very kind about what I put together, but said she couldn’t take them on (one she really liked but told me it would never sell—funny, I see loads of books these days with that theme now!). That’s where that journey ended.

Looking back, I realized I was too set in my ways thinking—thinking I knew the best publisher for what I wanted to do (it was all based on my external optics with no internal information). I also had no clue that it often can take a dozen tries to find an agent who is the combination of the right fit, right time, and right level of belief in what you’re working on. The timing of the subject also matters.

A couple of years ago a different agent reached out to me after having seen a feature about my work in a mainstream magazine. We went back and forth a couple of times, and a writer friend helped me refine my proposal, but ultimately agent #2 decided not to move forward either.

I was a bit naive to the process at the time (hanging out with writers through has been eye-opening in more recent years), but also I think subconsciously both of these events didn’t make me eager to knock on doors for more rejection. Heck, getting an agent is no guarantee that a publisher would say yes either! (Or that there’d be a big advance.) I never even considered going an indie route. I had too may assumptions and I believed too much of the judgement others projected that wouldn’t be taken seriously. I just gave up.

As for traditional publishing, we don’t always hear the stories of traditionally published authors told out loud as authors need to put their best foot forward and make sure their book gets into the world, and they often hope there are more to follow. (The best part of befriending fellow authors is that you get to hear the inside scoop!).

Honestly, I hadn’t heard some of the horror stories (that really were more stories of disappointment and underwhelm) when I decided to self-publish. My number one reason for self (or rather independent) publishing was that I felt like this book needed to be in the world sooner rather than later, and I didn’t have the energy to wait a year or more for a book to finally get published. It felt like a bigger gamble to go the traditional publishing route than to go it on my own.

When it came to the book I’d ultimately self publish: OVERRIDE! What if there was another way? A pocket playbook for possibility I didn’t even know I was writing a book when I started. I let it be an organic process, one step at a time. I’ve shared the story on a couple podcasts, but the honest truth was I just felt pulled to write. I took myself to a café most afternoons and that’s what I did.

It was probably about a month into it that it donned on me that I may be writing a book. And perhaps this is why I wasn’t so set on getting a big name publisher—it all caught me off guard. It wasn’t any of the other books I mentioned above, but an entirely different one. I’m still not sure if it’s a book a friend and I started brainstorming a couple years prior, but at least a lot of the ideas in terms of form/format carried over.

That’s where my design background came in handy and it was great I could design my own mock-ups (sample books) along the way, which helped inform the content and direction of my book as I went. The design mattered if I wanted to get my ideas across that felt accessible and actionable (change only happens when we take action, after all). Not every book I write will have the same considerations, but the “creative constraints” helped me shape the book I wanted to create. (More on that in this post.)

My background, skills, and professional experience played a big role in the decision to go the independent publishing route too. I will be the first to admit that having so many skills was both a blessing and a curse. (When you can do it all, you don’t outsource and you think you can figure everything out.)

Different seasons of life have different needs, so it’s not like I’ve completely slammed the door on traditional publishing either. There’s definitely no one-sized-fits-all answer to publishing. What’s cool and exciting is now we have options.

Here’s the breakdown of key factors behind my decision making to self-publish:

1. I didn’t want to go through a million rounds of rejection to get an agent. (See above.)

2. I didn’t have the full clarity on what the book was about. (A traditional route requires a proposal.) I needed to write my way through. Wow, was this healing! It also allowed the manuscript to evolve and I got to savor the process. I knew the only way I could do this was if I was the one making the shots.

3. The book is about doing things differently and finding other ways so it only felt fitting to self-publish. I didn’t know all the other ways when I started. I allowed myself to learn as I went. (Even if you’re traditionally published, I’ve heard of authors who were left in the dark about many parts of the process—there are a lot of unspoken assumptions in this process.)

4. I knew I had a background in graphic design (I have a MA in Publications Design, although ironically I never had to design a book) which would give me more creative control to do it myself. It’d also save me money from having to hire a designer.

5. I felt like I wanted a different format (a smaller book that’s travel-friendly and fits in a pocket). Most business and self-help books I read feel unnecessarily big/thick just to fit the genre’s standards. (Bigger does not make something better! In fact, as I learned it’s actually far more challenging to keep things succinct. So many books I read in self-help and business I feel like need an editor by the last third.)

6. There are way more resources and tools for self-publishing now than in the past, making it more accessible and feasible. (It cost me less to print and ship one sample copy of my book than to buy someone else’s book at the bookstore!)

7. Friends who have traditionally published have had a mixed experience in recent years (and I’m not a celebrity name that’s going to get the royal treatment). Not only are budgets stretched, but so are people. Publishing traditionally is not a guarantee of success.

8. Whether you traditionally publish or self-publish you still have to talk about and promote your book for it to sell. (A friend who traditionally published spent her entire advance on a publicist after seeing her publisher was doing nothing to promote her book.)

9. Writers in general don’t make a ton of money, at least not out of the gate. Yes, big name writers do, but they also get the biggest marketing budgets. Everyone I’ve known who has gotten traditional book deals has still had to keep their day job as they write, and after their books come out. I decided to invest up front for bigger returns in the long run.

10. I knew I had the design skills and online business skills and existing platform to do much of it myself. (This is part of my choice to not only independently publish, but sell “direct.”)

11. I can earn more margins per book by self-publishing, and by selling direct [Lulu vs. Amazon]. This is something I only did because I already have a long, established online platform and community. (I understand now why many authors wait until book 10 to start selling directly—it’s an uphill learning curve getting started. I wouldn’t necessarily recommend my nuanced path for most first-time authors. Setting up an e-commerce shop is another kind of mountain.)

12. When people buy from me directly I am more connected to readers. (I have access to their emails so I can invite them to special events, ask for reviews, and keep them posted about new updates.) It’s a whole ecosystem.

13. I was able to “go global” out of the gate and not stress about international rights and licensing. I know I have an international, well-traveled audience so this made sense for me more than some others.

14. My book is “printed on-demand” [POD] meaning there is less waste and I don’t have to pay for storage. It’s also printed around the world making it more sustainable, and not have to travel huge distances—the cost of shipping can be killer! (One friend who traditionally published had delays in receiving her books because the ship they were on was rerouted because of pirates!!!)

15. There are existing platforms that make distribution easy now (Amazon, IngramSpark). The other perk of these challenges is it makes international taxes easier. (In addition to selling direct, I’m on these platforms and wider distribution networks now. I chose to keep a sustainable pace and rolled them out over time rather than having everything ready on launch day. Yet another reason it helps to be the one in charge of your own book!)

16. I attended the London Book Fair in March (long after my decision to self-publish), and wow, I didn’t realize just how set in its ways the publishing industry was! It can be very challenging to break into, and honestly it needs some serious updating. A lot of folks attend the fair to try to sell international rights and translations too. I will say was wonderful to see tons of representation of indie authors in the Author HQ showing times are changing.

17. I wanted to be able to ENJOY THE PROCESS. I didn’t want insane deadlines and external pressure. This book like many things in life needed to take the time it takes. (Despite my desire to get it out in the world sooner rather than later, it was still an active process over 1.5+ years, and that didn’t include the year pause from an earlier conception.)

18. It is not unheard of for authors who self-publish to get publishing deals. Did you know the wildly popular The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron was originally self-published? Nir Eyal also had a book he self-published that got picked up. It is true that traditional publishing can be easier to get into bookstores if that’s your end game.

19. I had a strong conviction that the world needed this book now (or sooner rather than later). I couldn’t wait a year to get an agent/publisher, and another year to get out into the world. OVERRIDE! is ultimately about asking WHAT IF THERE WAS ANOTHER WAY? so that is definitely the spirit I brought to all of my choices.
    

In the spirit of OVERRIDE! I wasn’t caught up with the idea of success I grew up with. The assumption was to be taken seriously as an author I had to be picked up by a big name publisher. I was willing to take the risk, take a path aligned with my values, and see what happens when I tried something another way, my way. Let me tell you, after this process, I have SO much respect for every author—traditionally published and indie. It is no small feat to put a book into the world. We should celebrate them all!

I embraced the journey of getting my work into the world and grew because of it. Are there downsides, frustrations, and challenges for self-publishing? Of course. But that’s for another day, and another post.

No matter what path you take there will be ups and downs, roadblocks, and frustrations. KEEP GOING anyway!!!! Let go of the idea of instant success and enjoy the process. You will inevitably learn a ton. I’ve fully embraced the journey of the long game over instant gratification. (See OVERRIDE! page 88, chapter: The dopamine of instant gratification.)

The cool thing is no matter how you publish there’s so much we can learn from the other ways—both in terms of what’s working, and what’s not. No matter what publishing track you take, get real comfortable with having to ask for help A LOT! 😜 Publishing takes a village regardless of the route you take. It’s impossible to do it alone.

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You may also enjoy this comprehensive post of “My Favorite Resources for (Self)publishing.” I knew NONE of this going into the process—I learned as I went. It also breaks down why I’m still grateful if you buy my book directly from me rather than the other distribution channels.

BIG FAVOR: If you’ve read OVERRIDE! I’d be grateful if you could leave me a review on Amazon (and/or Goodreads). It’s OK if you didn’t buy it there! Reviews are essential for visibility and getting the word out, especially when it comes to first time authors.

Learn more about OVERRIDE! Connect, one of the creative ways (it even involves banana mapping!!!) and subvert “how things are done” in publishing. I hope to tap into existing communities, both online and offline, to bring change to the world through my little book with big ideas, while bringing value and connection to those you gather with. Please reach out if you have a book group or gathering that might be game for something like this.


Have you self published? Are you thinking about it? Anything in this post surprise you? Share your thoughts in the comments!

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If you’ve read OVERRIDE! What if there was another way? one of the early exercises is the mindmap of influences playground page (p. 39) in the chapter An incomplete list of what shapes us. I love mindmaps because they help us extract information and explore ideas in a non-linear way. Every time I make one I have new unexpected insights as I see new patterns and connect the dots.

I shared a template base for the mindmap in the book to spark some ideas and explore influences in our lives. I intentionally didn’t want to share my mindmap in the book because I didn’t want to influence people too much. I always remind participants in my workshops that the way that I respond to an exercise doesn’t mean it’s the only way or the right way. I always love seeing how you take the prompts and put your own spin on them.

I like to think of all the exercises in the book as a first draft. Often people can hesitate to start because they want it to be perfect. Really, it’s more important to get something out and onto paper than it is to have a “perfect” map (there is no such thing)! You need to start somewhere if you’re going to make change.

It was intentional to make a book that is pocket-sized so it’s light and easy to travel with. However, I acknowledge that makes the pages smaller to write on (and not everyone practiced writing in tiny handwriting like I did as a kid). You have full permission to get creative on how you do this. You may want to add post-its, or even slide in a tri-fold piece of paper which you can unfold to see your map. You also can keep a separate folder of exercises on full-sized paper so you have more space to play with. (Please comment on this post with your mindmaps! I always love seeing what people come up with.)

For me, I always work in pen or marker to start as a way to not overthink it. Because I can’t erase it, it means I’m less precious about it (handy for overriding perfectionist tendencies). I also love using my Bic 4-color pen for the exercises in the book because I could use different colors to mark up my mindmap, and surface themes and the influences that really shaped me. (Future dream collab: Bic pens + banana mapping event! Bic ballpoint pens are also ideal for banana mapping.)

Without further ado, here’s my mindmap! As you can see, it’s OK if it gets a bit messy or you have to turn the page to make something fit.

Psst. Did you notice that there’s a black triangle in the corner on the playground pages? You can fold it down to help you find the exercise!

Here’s what my mindmap reminded me of:

• Travel is a huge influence in my life. Both parents traveled extensively before getting married (on the older side). It’s second nature to me. (Ironically, my brother doesn’t have the same travel bug.)

• I saw the insecurities I had (self-inflicted) as a kid from having “older” parents (funnily enough when I reconnected with childhood friends last year after 30 years, I realized multiple other friends had similarly aged parents).

• Where I’ve lived has shaped me a lot (DC, Minnesota, Kansas, Idaho, Virginia, Maryland, and Paris) and meant I had to learn to adapt and readapt a lot over the years (and probably why I’m not eager to have to start over as an adult—unless it feels right). It’s also where on a friend level I first learned to feel disappointed, disconnected, and longing when friends didn’t keep in touch to the level I did. I wasn’t able to articulate that sadness at the time.

• My two semesters abroad in college very much shaped me and how I see the world. (My mom had studied and worked abroad, and I always knew studying abroad was more exciting than where to go to college). Both helped me see the city as my classroom, which very much influences the work I do today.

• Exploring friend dynamics made me reflect on the importance of feeling part of a team, particularly through sports (swimming and rowing), and I also felt part of something when I did theater in high school. The friend category also made me reflect on how much I was or was not exposed to people with ideas and backgrounds different than mine.

• I grew up knowing going to a good school was the goal. I was a top student, but my standardized test scores were not stellar. It’s no wonder many of us grew up with the “I’m not good enough” mentality. I’m grateful I always knew I was more than a test that required filling in bubbles that were read by a machine. It’s also clear how we were trained in high school to “do it all”—sports, activities, clubs, not to mention actual school work. Did we ever rest? Thankfully I think I did most of it because I wanted to, not because I felt like I had to to feel included.

• Religion doesn’t resonate with me in a major way. It never fully clicked for me. I’m also not sure that having to take sex ed through a church group was super helpful for me (it wasn’t directly shaming, but it didn’t normalize pleasure). In hindsight, it was very non-memorable for me, but probably played into early shame of not wanting to talk about the subject.

I’m curious. What came up for you?

Here are some more reflection prompts to get you thinking:

• What did you notice?

• What themes, threads, or throughlines do you see? (Take another colored pen, marker, or highlighter to bring attention to some of those key influences.)

• What surprised you? Did anything bubble up that you had forgotten about?

• What has shaped you that supports you?

• What has shaped you that you’re ready to let go of?

I do encourage you to try to think back to when you were young (a kid) as you explore on your mindmap to see if there are any memories that shaped you. In writing that sentence, I was reminded of second grade when I’d cry because I didn’t want to go to school. This was particular because I actually liked school. There was something anxiety-inducing about actually getting there. (The solution at the time was having a neighbor girl in our carpool drop me off at the classroom—it worked!). I was young at the time, but I’m curious if I was picking up any of the energy of schooling that didn’t work for me (early seeds of override!). To explore….

Another thing to keep in mind is what other categories would you include on your mindmap (hopefully you already added them!). After I “finished” my mind map I realized MEDIA or even POLITICS would have been interesting ideas to explore.

Did your family get the newspaper growing up? Were there multiple channels in which you received the news (newspaper—national/local, magazines, radio, tv—public/private/certain voices)? Was it balanced or did it have a political slant? Do you felt like you were exposed to a wide variety of world views, or one set perspective? How did where you grow up link to what news and media you received? (See, it’s all connected!) How did the news link to politics in your family? Have you always voted like your parents? Have you ever veered? Have you been encouraged to do your own research on candidates? Was there tension in your family growing up? What is talked about openly in your family? What is not?

See! Your preliminary mindmap just touches the surface. We’re never truly finished with these explorations, but having something will give you new information as you make decisions moving forward. Hopefully it will help bring more unlocking ideas to the forefront.

You’re welcome and encouraged to revisit your mindmap at any time and add to it. You also can make a new one, or take one of the categories and make a mindmap unique to that idea in order to dig deeper.

OVERRIDE! is all about unlocking layers. How you get there doesn’t matter. It often happens gradually over time. It’s why the book is designed to come at ideas from different directions through the exercises inside.

The possibilities are endless! The key is taking action (in this case write it down to start, get it out of your head) rather than only thinking about it. Action is how change happens.

When you share with a friend or talk through insights with someone else we often get new ideas that we can add to ours. Sometimes it’s the same idea, and other times something someone says will spark a totally different path for us to explore. The more honest we are with ourselves and with ourselves, I’ve come to see good things happen!

Continue the conversation!

If you’re open to it, share your mindmap in the comments of this post. (Bonus points if it’s a photo of the page in the book!) Otherwise, I invite you to share a reflection or insight in the comments (be as specific or general as you feel comfortable with) from doing the exercise.

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Here’s some other fun stuff linked to OVERRIDE! coming up soon:

+ It’s not too late to join this weekend’s La Vie Creative Book Club with Krystal Kenney (RSVP required—linked at the bottom of the post. Don’t worry if you haven’t read or bought the book, you’re still welcome!). I’ll be Zooming in on Sunday, September 29th at 5pm CET/Paris to talk all things OVERRIDE!, answer any questions, and of course, banana map! Be sure to catch the recent podcast episode of “La Vie Creative” where I talk about how the book came to life.

++ I’m part of Jenner Linden’s 8-day ReWilding (online) retreat starting on October 7th. It’s free to join my workshop (Oct 10) and all the workshops if you sign up before midnight MDT on October 7th. I take a spin on a couple of exercises in OVERRIDE! for the workshop (hint: you’ll need a banana!). There’s also an episode of Jenner’s podcast “Enter the Portal” where I discuss OVERRIDE! coming soon!

+++ Mapping Your Path into 2025 is kicking off very soon! October 4th to be exact. It’s a 3-month workshop + community that embodies so many of the ideas explored in OVERRIDE! Each month we’ll explore different creative exercises in live workshops, and connect in small group calls and the community space. It’s seriously the most incredible global community! Use the code FOLLOWYOURCURIOSITY at check out for 111€ off.