But what is it about summer that just doesn’t do it for me?

Here are my Top 3 reasons I don’t love summer.

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And in case you think I’m just a scrooge, I will follow these reasons with 3 things I actually can dig about summer, so worry not.

Too hot - I know.

Seems ridiculously basic and obvious. I mean, only for the northern hemisphere, though, right? In all honesty, I am not terribly impacted by weather fluctuations physiologically. I don’t feel terribly annoyed if it’s hot out and I have been to Israel and Africa and Dubai in the summer when temperatures literally are in the 120s. I mean, I wouldn’t go jogging in that weather, but I’m a person who can handle extreme heat better than some people I know who get overheated and ferklempt even when temperatures are in the 80s or 90s. That’s not my issue.

My issue with the heat is I don’t like summer clothes. I like heavy clothes and I don’t like to show skin. I have a very Manhattan-adjacent dark heavy wardrobe and have for most of my adult life. I like layers and coziness and scarves and socks with cute sayings and animals on them. I like boots and high-top sneakers and clunky chunky Creepers. So hot weather means all of that stuff can cause me to overheat. I hear so many comments from people all summer because ... I don’t dress like it’s summer.

Too sunny

I already mentioned I don’t like to show skin so it’s clear that sun is not helpful because of the heat as I discussed above. But the sun is another added issue because I am not someone who likes sun exposure. I already have sun spots here and there on my face and I am not terribly disciplined about sunscreen so the sun just makes the summer a bit of a chore to go out in. I do love hats and have a few I like to wear in the summer, but I honestly really would rather not have to deal with it at all!

Also, some people - especially those who grew up in cold places - THRIVE in the sun. I don’t know if it’s because I grew up in California, but I think it’s more about personality. I just don’t love the sun, especially if it’s hot. I really like cool sunny days and crisp sunny days, but sunny days in summer just feel like a drag.

Too hard

I wish I was more easy-going. I really do. I have wished that literally since I was in preschool and girls said they didn't want to play with me because I was too bossy. I’m not easy-going and I’m not terribly flexible.

So when it comes to summer, all of the expectations feel overwhelming to me. Wearing a bathing suit, not wearing a bathing suit but being comfortable with that, not having my toenails painted when everyone is wearing sandals and has a pedicure, looking effortlessly chic at a beach party, people drinking and enjoying themselves when I don’t drink and oftentimes struggle to enjoy myself when everyone is drinking and enjoying themselves… all of these things cause a lot of noise in my head!

Name any other season and I guarantee you it does not have these kinds of expectations! Sure winter has Chanukah, Christmas and Kwanzaa and Valentine’s Day, and Autumn has Thanksgiving, and Spring brings with it Passover and Easter. But those things are isolated activities and holidays with specific expectations that are culturally, religiously, or colloquially understandable. The amorphous summer possibilities - picnics, beach outings, beach houses, lounging aimlessly in the sun, volleyball in bikinis - it’s just too much uncertainty for me!

Okay, now that we’ve gotten the things I don’t like about summer out of the way, let’s throw some positivity in here with…

My Top 3 Things I Like About Summer.

More kids

My parents were teachers and spent every summer with me. I thought all parents got summer off when I was little, and I was happy to imagine we lived in a culture that wanted families to have time together. (I later found out that Europe tends to value family time in the summers, but indeed, in America, we sadly do not have the structure for that). We didn’t have a lot of money when I was a kid, and I also was aware my dad could have taught summer school to make money, but, frankly, he needed the summer break to recharge from being a middle school teacher. It was nice we had summers together.

We often took road trips or short trips to Palm Springs where we stayed in dingy motels. One year we went to Lake Powell. A few times, we flew to Ft. Lauderdale to see my father’s parents. Summer was a lot of playing with kids on my block, going to the beach with a friend (I liked it then!), and reading and watching TV with my brother. Now that I am a mom, summer means time with my kids that I am grateful to get to have. I have one kid in college who will be home for a lot of the summer, and my younger one will go to camp and then we will have time to camp and go bowling and connect on the daily before the school year starts. This is my first summer with a kid in college, so I’m especially eager to have him home and have a summer with my kids.

More beach

I love the beach. I just wish it wasn’t so hot and sunny there! While I don’t love the heat or the sun, summer is when it’s most predictable to go to the beach and be able to swim without freezing. Here in Southern California, you theoretically can swim year round, but it sure is more comfortable in the summer. I cover up and slather on the sunscreen and love to sit on the beach and watch the waves and the occasional dolphin or sea lion swimming in the waves.

My boys enjoy each other’s company and I love watching them play at the beach. I like to collect shells and look for crab legs spit out by the ocean. Jonathan and I love taking Archie the dog to the beach. He loves romping in the waves and I love to watch him playing in the surf.

More melon

Summer fruit is something I get very excited about. I find that it’s a lot easier to provide fresh healthy snacks for me and my kids in the summer. We cut up melon a lot and it’s a great snack to have. There are so many kinds of melons to experiment with, but we favor cantaloupe and watermelon in my house. Crossroads Kitchen here in Los Angeles makes a watermelon, feta, pistachio salad that epitomizes summer for me so I’m always excited when their menu switches to “summer” for this reason!

How do you vibe with summer? Are you pumped for the beach or counting the days with me until Autumn...? Let me know in the comments below. And happy summer!

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And then this happened.

A cactus I did not even know flowered...flowered! I wrote a piece here about all of the amazing things happening in my garden which included flowering cactus..but this one was all the way on the other side of the house.

I do not know the name of this beauty. I don’t have that app people have and I tried googling it, but there are just way too many pink flowers on cactus images and lists. I could not figure it out at all.

I got this particular cactus from my parents years ago when they got rid of some of my dad’s cactus collection. If I’m being perfectly honest, I’ve tended to it by mostly doing nothing. A lot of the time I forget it’s there. Actually, in full disclosure, I often forget it exists.

And then the other day, I was walking near the path where it lives in its happy little pot, and there were these two huge flowers on it. So pretty. So delicate but so sturdy at the same time. And the flowers are almost disproportionally large; like when you put a headband with a huge flower on a baby. This cactus was basically a baby with a headband with a flower on it.

And I was so startled by it that I figured I needed to report on it here and find the ‘lesson’ in it. The lessons of this flowering cactus:

1. Surprises happen - and they can be pleasant!

2. Sometimes you forget about things and these things will oftentimes remind you of their value in the most startling ways.

3. Don’t assume that just because something is unassuming that it does not also hold incredible beauty.

I thought of moving this cactus. Because it’s so pretty - especially right now when it’s in bloom. So why should I keep it where it is if it can have a more front-and-center existence? But then something occurred to me. It’s happy right where it is. It’s likely it would bloom anywhere, but maybe it’s happiest exactly where it is and that environment is exactly the environment it needs to bloom exactly as it wants to.

And so this leads me to yet another lesson this cactus brings:

4. Sometimes it’s best to leave well enough alone.

There’s an expression for this that comes to mind: don’t “gild the lily.” It’s an idiom, for those of you familiar with grammar from the 5th grade. It means: “to unnecessarily decorate or embellish something that is already beautiful or perfect.” So I’m not moving it.

I’m going to leave it right where it is and the only thing I plan to change is how often I take it in. Because:

5. Things don’t last forever. Especially beautiful things.

6. Enjoy things right in this moment, exactly when they’re happening.

I wonder if this cactus will flower yearly. I hope so. And also - I need to hold onto its beauty, but not too tightly.

Thank you, cactus, for all of your continuing lessons.

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I have some new cactus blooming in my yard and had to show you!

I don’t know what kind it is and Shabbat is approaching so I don’t have time to do the correct research, but I am open to any suggestions as to what these beauties are.

Also, I am posting an update with more open flowers on my other cactus which is opening more and more.

AND… the birds flew the nest! They grew up and survived and the nest is still there but they have officially moved on LOL.

Also, Jonathan and I have been doing some LIVEs from the Mayim Bialik’s Breakdown page so please follow us over there and subscribe there since my writing is going to live over there. I’ll post some stuff here but my writing will be hosted from the MBB page so head on over there!

Ok, I hope this post works.

Thanks all and have a nice weekend

:)

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CACTUS

This cactus - which I am pretty sure is Mammillaria pilcayensis (Bristle brush cactus), is totally leaning over and I’ve tried to straighten it but...it’s ... very painful to do so. Because, cactus… needles.

I know they make “cactus” gardening gloves but I don’t have any handy and every time I remember to order them, I figure, “I’ll figure it out” and I never do so now it’s the leaning tower of cactus.

But these flowers! They only come out this time of year and only when it’s sunny. Every evening they close up and every day when the sun hits them, they open up again. They haven’t opened all the way, but every day I wonder, “Is this as open as they’re going to get!?” I keep checking.

TRANSPLANT

My friend, Timber Hawkeye, (check out his episode of MBB here and his website which is fantastic and inspiring) lives in central California on some beautiful land. I visited him this time a few years ago and he asked if I wanted to take home some transplants from the yard. These are Aloe swynnertonii.

At first I thought it was nuts to dig up plants and drive them home with me, but I do love gardening and I love trying to keep things alive. So, we got out a shovel and some boxes and loaded them into my car. They bumped along on the long drive home but I planted them and... they lived. It didn’t take much effort. I’ll admit it. But every spring when these bloom, I remember my friend and the patience it takes to grow something new.

PLUMERIA

And then there is this plumeria, pua melia, also known as frangipani. I love the smell of plumeria, a beautiful tropical flower most associated with the islands of Hawaii. I love the whole family of smells in this family: Jasmine, Gardenia, Plumeria - they are all very sweet but not polleny, which is great for someone like me who is allergic to pollen but loves rich sweet smells.

When I bought this, it was full of those sweet-smelling flowers and I loved it so much. The blooms fell off, but I was told that was normal. The next spring, what looked like a dead plumeria tree sprouted tiny buds, and the gardeners reassured me all would be well. We got some flowers, and then this past year, they fell off. As did the leaves. And I was hopeful.

Thus far, no buds have burst forth. I don’t know if it’s dead. I keep waiting. Every day, I check to see if there’s any sign of buds. I will keep checking.

BOUGAINVILLEA

These plants are often used as deer deterrents because they have spikes all along their stems. Ouch. They grow in bush shapes and more of a tree shape, and “they come” (aka “Gd makes them”) in various colors.

My older son is color blind and he would argue with this fact, but Gd makes them in this stunning fuschia color as well as at least 2 other shades of the pink family, a sherbet-y orange and even white, although I’ve never seen those in person. They bloom in the spring with such vibrancy and they make the whole yard explode with joy.

NEST

One of the most incredible things I get to witness in the spring is birds using my house to make nests. This year, we have two. Some years we have one, and some years we have had none.

The birds get very busy for weeks and weeks leading up to the presumptive egg laying that occurs. There’s a lot of flying back and forth. Every time I go out the door the nest is near, the bird flies away and I am startled over and over again. Every time, it is absolutely thrilling to think that all of evolutionary history has led to this moment - these birds instinctively nesting so they can incubate eggs that become baby birds. Some will die, some will live, but it’s a miracle every single year.

I can’t guarantee pictures of the babies because I try to keep my distance. Sometimes, I get to hear tiny chirps and see tiny wet heads and baby beaks chirping madly. Sometimes, it happens without me seeing it. I assume that sometimes the nest may be abandoned before the eggs are even laid. No matter what, I am grateful I get to witness any phase of this incredible process.

THIS SUBSTACK

We are most thrilled that this spring has given birth to this Substack. Thank you for being here! We have literally been talking about ways to engage more deeply and more intimately with our audience FOR YEARS.

Jonathan initially envisioned a platform when we started the podcast which would allow for community conversation, personal connections, and more depth. It didn’t exist back then and we simply did not have the infrastructure to build it. We see Substack as a perfect match for what we do, what we want to do, and what we hope to allow you all the space to do.

We can’t wait to see what every season of Substack brings, but for now, we have really enjoyed writing, gathering up all of the bonus content we are excited to post, and learning better ways to connect with you all. There’s so much Jonathan and I are eager to share about our journeys, our experience learning about the intersection of science and spirituality, and the myriad ways we can grow as a community. We are so glad you found us here!

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Not my literal breakdown. It’s the way I start every episode of the podcast I started with my partner and BFF, Jonathan Cohen. Mayim Bialik’s Breakdown (our podcast or MBB as we call it) is available on my YOUTUBE channel and anywhere you listen to podcasts.

I have decided to come over to Substack - and bring the podcast with me! - because here, I am excited to connect in deeper and more meaningful ways with a community of like-minded individuals. Some of you may know the podcast, some of you may know me from my acting career, but no matter how you got here, I think we are all on a journey to figure out who we are, what we can do to feel and live better and how opening our minds and hearts can help us achieve things we never believed possible. That’s what our podcast seeks to do and that’s what I hope to share with you here.

Here’s a bit more about our podcast: We have 75M downloads and almost 300 episodes released to date, and every episode has me and Jonathan bringing insightful, inspired, and often hilarious conversations exploring the intersection of science and spirituality.

In addition, I am sooooo excited to get back to writing, sharing the lesser-known aspects of my time as an actor and public person since the age of 11. Most of my writing will live over on the MBB substack, so I encourage you to subscribe and follow so you don’t miss anything!

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In addition the MBB substack is where you need to be subscribed to to receive our weekly newsletters and watch me do weekly lives - you don’t want to miss those! We will review episodes, talk about current events, answer your questions, and provide surprise content! I’ll mostly be going live from that account so make sure you are subscribed there for all of that fun stuff. . If you choose to be a subscriber to MBB (which I hope you will!), you will also get Monday check-ins, a ton of fun bonus podcast content and a variety of other awesome features!

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I’m excited to build a community here at a time in our lives when social media and the news cycle can feel destructive and hurtful and dialogue can become so politicized and hostile. I’m eager to have this be a fun, creative space where people are focused on growth, understanding, creativity, friendship, and learning new things together. Thanks for being here!!!!

I’m so glad we found each other.