You’ve all no doubt watched the famous final scene of the 2008 Iron-Man movie, where Tony Stark boldly reveals he’s actually Iron-Man to an astonished press corps:

However, back before it was cool to unmask on international television, a superhero’s secret identity was guarded with the utmost care and vigilance. Ostensibly, the importance of heroes hiding their identity was to protect their loved ones from an enemy’s retribution, but for those of us reading their adventures, the true appeal of the secret identity was….well…that it was a secret!

Secrets have a powerful kind of currency in the world of children, so the concept and sanctity of a hero’s secret identity was easily grasped and solemnly supported. It naturally followed that whenever we spied a comic book cover depicting a secret identity threatened or even (gasp!) exposed, we’d snatch ‘em up, no questions asked. After all, a secret ID in jeopardy was some heavy drama, pal!

As I see it, the fine art of blowing a secret identity often fell into three distinct categories:

Category 1: The “What?--Is he CRAZY?!!” Self-Reveal

The first, and in some ways, most disturbing category is when the hero apparently loses his mind and reveals his own secret identity.

The cover of Flash #149 (1964) shows Barry Allen doing just that, earning a CCA-approved “Jumpin’ Jets!” exclamation from his freaked-out kid sidekick Wally (Kid Flash) West:

Years later, renowned Flash artist Carmine Infantino handles the cover for another startling self-reveal, this time on Nova #21 (1978). Even more puzzling than Richard Rider’s decision to unmask is how he managed to keep his hair so Shampoo Commercial Perfect under that helmet:

Peter Parker fesses up to his friends on the cover of Amazing Spider-Man #87 (1970), complete with a towering, slump-shouldered Spider-Man image that seems to mirror the reader’s dismay with Peter Parker. (“Hey! What gives?...”):

In Action Comics #237 (1958), Clark Kent appears to pop a bolt while angrily insisting that he is, indeed, Superman…only to be brushed off by Lois Lane and Perry White (who doesn’t seem too alarmed by the imminent pulping of his legs):

Category 2: “Et tu, Brute?” Friend or Family Betrayal!

The next category of the blown secret identity is when a close friend, family member or otherwise trusted figure reveals a hero’s secret to the world.

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I seldom let more than a few weeks go by before finding a place for them in those familiar white boxes. Ahh, but sometimes...well, sometimes I don’t quite keep up. When I don’t keep up, things can get ugly. Really, really ugly. Like this past weekend, for example.

First, a little background. Prior to building our current house in 1995, I’d always kept my comic book storage boxes out in the open within my home art studio. Not only did they take up precious space, but they were also a big eyesore. When my wife and I were designing our home in ‘95, I took the opportunity to include a cute little room (well, basically a glorified closet) just off my studio that could be used exclusively for comic book storage. Using sturdy steel shelving, I’ve been able to expand my collection while keeping all of those bland looking boxes out of sight (not to mention climate controlled and out of the sunlight).

So...maintaining and growing the collection while preventing it from dominating the room? Best of both worlds, right? Well...yeah, most of the time. When I’m on a “discipline jag”, it’s a great thing. Buy comics, bag ‘em (if necessary), then box ‘em. Just like clockwork. However, when an extremely busy time hits (like summer or the Christmas season) or, frankly, when my discipline runs out of gas, the comics I need to file start multiplying like rabbits. Really affectionate rabbits.

Adding to the stack of new comics to put away are older comics that I, as an active Substacker, occasionally remove from their boxes to reference, scan, or skim for material. The logical thing would be to put away any comics I use for that purpose, but when I’m in the middle of gathering material for an article, it’s easy to set them aside to put away at some nebulous future date.

Which brings us to this past weekend. After ignoring the messy stacks of comics to file (or “CTF’s”) for months, I finally broke when I realized every single storage box had comics stacked on top of them...which had to be shifted out of the way to remove the box lids...which pretty much defeats the entire purpose of having storage boxes, right?

Having seen the light, I grudgingly began the time-consuming process of sorting, bagging, occasionally boarding, taping, alphabetizing, and...yes...filing away nearly four months of CTF’s (both old and new). Two hours later, as I placed the final comic book into its proper box, I vowed, “Never again will I let it come to this!“

Yeah....right!

What about you? I don’t really see this sort of mundane “housekeeping” stuff discussed in comic-centric sites and Substacks...but at the same time, every collector has to do it, right? So, how often do you “Attack the Stack”? Let me know YOUR modus operandi by clicking the button below to take a brief 3-question survey:

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Everyone’s played LIFE, right? You know, the classic Milton Bradley (now Hasbro) board game that simulates a person’s journey from early adulthood to retirement? Players navigate a winding board, making decisions about college or careers, marriage, having children, and investments. The objective is to retire with the most wealth.

As a recent retiree myself, I’ve been pondering about how the game of LIFE might be retooled to reflect the heightened twists and turns only a comic book character can experience. The guy who immediately came to mind was, of course, Peter Parker, a.k.a. Spider-Man! Think about it: The Game of LIFE, only with all the unique miseries, misfortunes and muted triumphs that have characterized Peter “Hard Luck” Parker's long career as Spider-Man. I've even worked up a little concept to pitch the Hasbro execs:

The only problem? The game never ends!

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Starting in 1951 with Strange Adventures #8, the editors of DC Comics began noticing that comics with gorillas on the cover seemed to sell better than others. In fact, editors began doing so many gorilla covers that their boss Irwin Donenfeld allegedly stepped in and declared that only one gorilla cover per month could appear in their line of comics. However, even with Donenfeld’s limitations, gorillas and other primates continued popping up in DC Comics throughout the 1950’s and 60’s...so find yourself a grooming partner, peel yourself a banana, and let’s get to our first Monkey Business profile, shall we?

The Bat-Ape!

Name: Mogo, a.k.a. “The Bat-Ape”

First Appearance: Batman #114 (1958)

Powers and Abilities: Super intelligent trained circus ape.

History: When a circus box office is robbed, an ape trainer named Arthur Harris is mistakenly arrested for the crime.

As a skeptical Batman investigates the robbery, Harris’s super-intelligent ape named Mogo befriends him and follows him back to the Batcave.

Discovering and donning a spare cowl, Mojo tags along with Batman and Robin as Bat-Ape and helps capture the real thieves!

Freed from police custody, Harris decides to return the favor by bringing Mogo back to his African homeland and setting the heroic ape free!

Stay tuned for future installments of Monkey Business!

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If we’re to believe those TV commercials for sunbelt retirement communities, growing old is a non-stop conga line of carefree living and frivolity....cleverly disguising the fact that getting old sucks!

As children, the gripes and groans of aging parents and grandparents suggested that getting old was no picnic, yet it was the spectacle of Senior Citizen Superheroes that really drove home the grim reality that “all things must pass away”. Witnessing perpetually young superheroes reduced to the state of feeble oldsters often got a child thinking about his or her own mortality, in a way older real-world relatives never could. In other words, if Superman could grow old...kids could too, right?

Superman did just that on the cover of Action Comics #251 (1959). Note the long white beard, the shorthand indicator of advanced age, perhaps dating all the way back to Rip Van Winkle himself:

Speaking of the legendary Mr. Winkle, Batman #119 (1958) finds a tattered “Rip Van Batman” standing in the shadows witnessing the grown-up Dick Grayson as Batman, accompanied by a new (and very blond) Robin:

In Flash #157 (1965), the Scarlet Speedster becomes “The Oldest Man Alive” when he gains 100 years (and his own Van Winkle beard) from….a trick top?

Meanwhile, Action Comics #270 (1960) shows an elderly Superman (sans beard) as a forgotten “has-been” with Lois still busting his chops for not marrying her:

Perhaps it was Superman’s status as the patriarchal “granddaddy of superheroes” that inspired so many Old Superman covers, as yet another Action Comics story features an aged Superman of the far future. This time around, the story spanned a whole three issues…quite a rarity for DC Comics during that era.

Action Comics #385 (1970) kicks it off with a 100,000 year-old Superman who, while “mightier than ever”, yearns for death’s sweet release. “When will I die?”, despairs the immortal Man of Steel:

The next issue finds the immortal Superman in “The Old Heroes Home” (actually a Retirement Planet), along with an assortment of fellow oldsters, such as “Electroman”, “Atom King” and even an ex-Green Lantern. No word on who the coot with the cane was. As you can see, nursing homes of the far future are every bit the exciting, stimulating environments they are today:

The final chapter of this depressing trilogy depicts a one million year old Superman close to death, with what appears to be a 1950’s television camera attempting to revive him:

Lest we think DC cornered the market on futuristic senior superheroes, Marvel features an elderly (and decidedly NON-feeble) version of the Hulk in the two-issue Future Imperfect mini-series (1993). Taking the concept of the “old curmudgeon” to an entirely new level, this alternate future version of the Hulk, now known as “The Maestro”, conquered Earth following a nuclear war (which had also killed most of the planet’s superheroes):

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"Take, for example, that fateful evening when a single errant bat flew through an open window and inspired a young, fully-trained, yet still-unfocused Bruce Wayne to fight crime as The Batman. This is the reality that you know…"

"However, in an alternate reality, comic book history is irrevocably altered when the invading bat triggers a somewhat different reaction from young Bruce!"

Editor’s Note: I would totally be the alternate Bruce Wayne.

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To kick off the first installment of Superpowers That Time Forgot, I've got not one but two obscure superpowers that appeared in Superman #45 (1947). In The Case of the Living Trophies, Superman was captured by an inter-dimensional alien (whom Superman classified as "the most powerful enemy I've ever tackled") and placed into a collection of living beings. Paralyzed by a numbing gas, Superman launched an escape plan by using...telepathic will control?!!

With the alien distracted, Superman tipped over and shattered his trophy case. Then, only a few panels later, exhibited yet another shocking new superpower!

Now, Superman had occasionally twisted his facial features into clever disguises before (as early as Superman #26, 1944), but he’d never “morphed” into an entirely different and much larger body type...Plastic Man style!

After turning the tables on his alien captor, Superman freed his fellow captives and returned to Earth...without even a peep of explanation for the bizarre new abilities! As you might have guessed, this was the one and only story featuring Superman’s telepathic mind control and shape shifting powers...though, rest assured, there were plenty more Superpowers That Time Forgot. Stay tuned!

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So…is the old saying “opposites attract” really true? If we’re talking romance? Probably not.

But if we’re talking about me and “Opposite Number” supervillains? Absolutely!

Rest assured, I love all the obvious A-List bad guys like The Joker, Green Goblin, the Doctors Doom and Octopus, and all the rest. However, there’s just something about those Evil Duplicates, Dark Reflections, and Twisted Doppelgangers I’ve never been able to get enough of.

What could be the Deep Psychological Underpinnings for that fixation? Could Opposite Number villains mirror the struggle between good and evil that rages in every human heart? Are they symbolic reminders of just how easy power can corrupt? Is it the sense of cosmic symmetry these equally powerful yet morally twisted characters represent and maybe even demand?

Frankly, I have no idea. But here’s what I do know:

One of the first dozen superhero comic books I’d ever read was Marvel’s Greatest Comics #57 (reprinting Fantastic Four #75), which dropped me right in the middle of nothing less than The Second Coming of Galactus! As you can imagine, 9 year-old me had absolutely no idea what was going on…but thanks to the charismatic scripting of Stan Lee and the eye-popping Kirby-Sinnott art, it didn’t seem to matter.

Then, about midway through the story, the off-world Galactus creates a distraction to occupy Reed, Johnny and Ben (Sue was pregnant and on bed rest at the time). Rising from the ocean shore like zombies, an eerie trio of dark duplicates ruthlessly attacked the boys using powers identical to their own.

Of course, the evil counterparts were eventually defeated, but not before sparking a fascination with Opposite Number villains that continues to this day.

So, what exactly is an Opposite Number Supervillain? As I see it, we’ve got four broad categories:

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Giant nemesis of the original Green Lantern.

Supernatural swamp zombie.

Proud poodle owner.

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In the dawning years of comics fandom, the comic book letters page was a popular place for fans to share their opinions and ask questions about their favorite heroes. While most letters dealt with the usual topics...praising or panning an issue, story suggestions, or nit-picking minor errors...there were occasionally letters that defied classification. Sure, you could probably file the Flash-Grams letter from England's Bruce MacTwaine under a fairly common heading: questions about the Flash's powers or mode of operation...but Bruce took things in a rather…unexpected direction (especially for 1961)...

A pretty smooth recovery from editor Julius Schwartz there...especially with the volatile words “female” and “sex” in such shockingly close proximity (remember, this was 1961, people)! However, even though ol’ Julie artfully directed the discussion away from Barry Allen speedily stripping down in front of the ladies, the explanation still doesn’t quite add up, does it?

But then again, we’re talking about the topsy-turvy world of superheroes here....so I guess it makes perfect sense that a man who could run faster than light and kept his costume scientifically shrunken-down inside of his ring could also wear that costume over his suit coat, slacks, street shoes and bow tie...yet somehow get it to appear skin tight. Right??!!

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Part of the fun participating on Covered was the freedom of approach, ranging from staying relatively close to an original cover’s layout or, alternately, blowing it all up with a different emphasis, a new camera angle, or adding other comical elements and Easter eggs. Guess which approach I took? Since we don’t see his face on the original cover, I thought it would be fun to not only show Loki’s face, but also to invert his confidence level in the face of that rapidly approaching “tidal wave” of superhero wrath.

BTW: This is my first post featuring my cartooning, which I plan to feature each week (sometimes for all subscribers, sometimes just for paid). Hope you enjoyed it!

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We’ve all heard it at one time or another from the Anti-Superhero snobs: “Marvel and DC Comics are as different as Coke and Pepsi”...the familiar charge that America’s two largest comic book publishers have product as indistinguishable from the other as the famous Cola Giants.

True, there have been some superficial similarities (such as their mutual focus on superheroes), but the educated fan can easily rattle off key stylistic differences between Marvel and DC Comics...and that’s what it’s all about here at the Fortress of Ineptitude. Educating the comics fans of past, present, future, and assorted alternate futures...so let’s get to those differences.

Sure, there’s the standard differences you find in all the comic book histories, such as DC’s traditional preference for plot-driven, squeaky-clean stories vs. Marvel’s more character-driven melodramas...or DC’s anonymous “editor” figure vs. Marvel’s affable “crazy uncle” figure of Stan Lee, and so on, and so forth. You’ve heard it a thousand times. Then there’s the subtle, yet truly profound difference that will forever drive a cosmic stylistic wedge between these two publishing titans.

Of course, I’m referring to The Floating Head Cover!

However, before we fully analyze this strange phenomenon, a little background first.

Covers for superhero team titles were tricky devils to market. Beginning in the early 1940’s with DC’s Justice Society of America (the original superhero team), the first several decades of team covers typically featured the entire lineup jam-packed into every square inch of real estate. This approach would often result in confusing “mob scene” covers, such as these early Silver Age (i.e. 1960’s) examples from both DC and Marvel:

Note the lack of focus and how, despite the heavy action of the tiny battling characters, the covers still come off a bit dull. In short, it was a bit like viewing the action inside of an ant farm.

A few years later, both Marvel and DC seem to have solved the “ant farm” dilemma by featuring a large attention-grabbing scene using only a few main characters, surrounded by small head shots of the team (which almost resembled drivers license or high school yearbook photos).

This new approach could now grab the reader’s attention with a dramatic central image, while simultaneously communicating “team book” with the handy sideline mug shots.

A few early examples of the Mug Shot Cover:

Now that they had the dramatic central image and snazzy team roll-calls, “Mission Accomplished”, right?

Not quite. Marvel, as the Brash Young Brando to DC’s Jimmy Stewart, quickly abandoned the Mug Shot Cover for something that was.....you guessed it....supercharged with melodrama!

Thus dawned... The Age of the Floating Head Cover!

The Floating Head Cover, as the term implies, featured disembodied heads of team members that were not only observing the dramatic event unfolding below them, but reacting to it as well!

Here’s one of Marvel’s earliest examples from Avengers #9 (1964), which I believe may be the very first Marvel Floating Head Cover:

We’re not only privy to the creation of Wonder Man (who would become an Avenger himself many years later), but we also get to see the reaction of the Avengers themselves. Granted, it’s difficult to tell what’s on Iron Man’s mind (a problem that would be partially rectified later), but the rest of the Avenger heads managed to muster enough mild concern or vague unhappiness to indicate there was something not quite right going on here.

That’s the beauty of the Floating Head Cover: Its ability to symbolically amp-up an already dramatic cover by adding yet another layer of emotion to the scene. A “drama sandwich”, if you will.

As it turned out, The Avengers would go on to set the world record for the most Floating Head Covers...racking up a whopping twenty-three covers over a (roughly) thirty year period:

While the Avengers seemed the most inclined to use the Floating Head Cover, the rest of Marvel's team books quickly jumped onto the Floating Head bandwagon:

So what was the response of DC Comics to Marvel’s Floating Head innovation?

In a word? Nothing.

DC continued to slog along with the standard Mug Shot Cover, despite the markedly more dramatic central images of the late 60’s and early 70’s covers. This usually created a bizarre disconnect for the reader, as the Mug Shot Heroes often seemed indifferent to the cover’s central drama and, in some cases, strangely cheerful.

As you can see from the cover of Justice League of America #91 (below), despite the apparent death of the Flash, his helmeted predecessor and mentor Jay Garrick, is smiling ear to ear. C’mon, Jay....show a little respect!

Yes, DC Comics eventually (perhaps grudgingly) featured a few Floating Head covers....but those examples can quite literally be counted on one hand. It’s clear that the DC editors never really approved of this melodramatic (yet weirdly effective) technique, as their cross-town rivals embraced it with their usual histrionic gusto.

While Marvel’s Floating Head covers were used primarily on their team titles, they occasionally snuck onto some solo-titles as well:

Of course, no analysis of the Floating Head Cover would be complete without covering the final twist Marvel would add to the phenomena: The Talking Floating Heads Cover!

These covers, while extremely rare, are also extremely entertaining. Not only did they feature alarmed floating heads of teammates observing the action, but their running commentary as well!

Here’s a perfect example from Avengers #154 (1976):

The normally calm-under-pressure Captain America can’t believe this is happening! Stoic Wonder Man snaps Cap back to reality! The Scarlet Witch desperately begs for anyone to save The Vision, while Iron-Man…well…states the obvious!

Speaking of whom, note the amusing little “frowny face” Jack Kirby gives Iron Man and how it helps convey at least some degree of emotion from the guy. The downcast eye and mouth slits had became standard operating procedure for Iron-Man’s Floating Head appearances, though Kirby (of course) gives it an endearing, extra-dramatic flair on this particular cover.

Was the Floating Head Cover cheesy? Definitely! Was it over-the-top? Of course! Yet the Floating Head Cover was representative of the many qualities that helped make Marvel so distinct from DC Comics during their first few decades of competition. Of course, DC had its own unique and quirky qualities, but when it came to covers packed to the rafters with melodrama, Marvel was the clear winner....made possible in part by their generous use of the Floating Head Cover!

NOTE: This article is an example of the longer-form content that will only be available to paid subscribers. This one’s a “freebie” for everyone!

My story goes all the way back to very early childhood (5-6 years old), specifically my Grandma & Grandpa McClure’s house. Grandma had a modest stack of comic books for us grandkids to read whenever we visited. Although most of them were Gold Key Disney and Looney Tunes “funny animal” comics, there was one comic book that wasn't at all like the others. SUPERMAN (by way of Superman #187, published in 1966) was, most likely, the very first superhero I’d ever laid my eyes on:

So here was this caped and costumed “Superman” guy, hefting a huge golden key to unlock the ultimate secret clubhouse??!!

A “Fortress of Solitude”? What’s this? A city in a bottle? An Interplanetary Zoo? An undersea Fortress in addition to the Arctic Fortress? Even the phrase “80-page Giant” seemed cool beyond all understanding!

Obviously, my imagination was reeling. I was in “Kid Heaven” with concepts like these...and can you think of any better crash-course introduction to superhero comic books than this specific issue?

I can’t tell you how many times I read and re-read this comic book when I visited my grandparents. A few years later, I started collecting comics and eventually bought my own copy of Superman #187. Needless to say, it’s still one of the treasures of my comic book collection. Not only for its status as “my first superhero comic book”, but also for its association with my grandparents (now long gone). In a way, it almost feels like a “souvenier” from a very happy childhood.

Obviously, it’s no coincidence my little newsletter is titled “Fortress of Ineptitude” and Big Blue is still my favorite superhero. (wink)

Well…that wasn’t Uncle Marlon’s exact quote, but you get the general idea. Welcome to Mark’s Fortress of Ineptitude (not to be confused with Superman’s Fortress of Solitude), where this newly-retired cartoonist/illustrator is going to pontificate, bloviate, and maybe even educate on all things comic books and their closely related nerd-realm cousins from an "historically humorous" or "humorously historic" perspective (I can never decide which one it is).

Free subscribers will get my once or twice-weekly shorter ramblings, while paid subscribers will receive longer-form articles examining the vast panoply of printed panels we call “Comic Book History”. Looking for discussion or news on the current comic book scene? Well, this probably isn’t your particular clubhouse (there are literally hundreds of Substacks and websites for that). What I’m really interested in is exploring both the vast, wide-open spaces and obscure nooks & crannies of superhero comic books, primarily from the 1960’s through the 1980’s (as any good Gen-X’er is wont to do)….in my own uniquely inept way. Along the way, I’ll also post some of my personal artwork, particularly the stuff that directly relates to this unique hobby of ours! I hope you enjoy the journey!