Is your green my green? Probably not. What appears as pure green to me is likely to look a bit yellowish or bluish to you. This is because how we see and interpret color varies from person to person. In addition, a color may, or will, appear differently against different backgrounds, other adjacent, or under different lighting. The science and philosophy of color explain why color is objectively real, even when people see the same shade. It is a fact that humans can perceive a wider variety of shades and hues in the green spectrum than any other color. So why is it my least favorite color?

I was invited to submit a quilt for an exhibit that fiber and bead artist, Larkin Van Horn was curating. The theme was "It’s Good to be Green," inspired by the Muppet, Kermit the Frog. Knowing that there are a plethora of greens sliding from yellow-green to blue-green, my first thought was, “define green.” From that moment, the wheels started turning. Rather than choose some greens to work with, I cut swatches of every variety of green I had in my fabric stash. I had 56 swatches to work with.

Now what? I was in my early stages of transferring old photos onto fabric, using transparencies and matte medium, a process I accidentally discovered when I lifted a transparency I was gluing in my journal, and low & behold, the inkjet printer ink stuck to the matte medium. It was then that I became known as the Transfer Queen.

Rummaging through my treasured tintype collection, I landed on the perfect image to use as the focal point for the quilt. She had the perfect sassy, enigmatic look, ready for a challenge. I could feel her daring me to “define green.”

With story leading the way, impact and composition called for a large version of this little 2.25 x 3.5” image. Hello, Photoshop. I enlarged her to 15x22”, cleaned up and brightened the image, then “cut” it (digitally), so that I could print the image on 4 separate 8.5x11” transparency sheets. Once transferred, I added the 56 green swatches, chose a backing/border fabric, added a layer of batting, and used what I called my package fold method, layering the quilt top over it all. I quilted it in a grid pattern.

That was back in 2007. I still love this quilt. It hangs on the door of my upstairs studio/office where I can see it every day. So one day, I asked ChatGPT about it. Chat always gives me something to think about.

“Her expression is wonderfully serious—almost scholarly—which reinforces the idea that she is examining, presenting, or contemplating the question rather than simply posing for a portrait.

Looking at it again, I notice another tension that may or may not have been intentional. The tintype represents a nineteenth-century technology of recording reality. The grid of green squares below feels similarly documentary—a collection of specimens, samples, evidence. Yet both systems fall short. The photograph captures a person but not her story. The swatches capture greens but not “green” itself.

That is what makes the title so strong. Define Green sounds like a straightforward assignment, but the piece demonstrates the impossibility of the task.

It also feels remarkably contemporary despite the historical imagery. Today we measure, categorize, digitize, and quantify everything. Yet color, memory, identity, and nature continue to slip through our fingers.

As someone who is now moving away from fabric and cyanotypes toward painting, I find this piece particularly interesting in hindsight. It already contains some of the questions that seem to occupy your current work…”

The insight is always thought-provoking and does align with my current foray into painting.

I’m not sure why I started this post or why I ended up sharing it with you. Quilters might be more interested in my process, but maybe you are, too. I hope I have given you something to ponder, even if it is just the thought of asking ChatGPT about a piece of your own art, something you’ve made, or something you love.

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Quotes of the Week

Make the work. Make it over and over until you uncover what you’re truly wanting to say and how, until your materials are an extension of yourself, and your process is ingrained and clear while evolving naturally.
Tara Leaver

I am sure there is Magic in everything, only we have not sense enough to get hold of it
and make it do things for us.
Frances Hodgson Burnett

Art does not reproduce what is visible, it makes things visible.
Paul Klee

The artist has the right to make one thing out of many
and a world out of the smallest part.
Rainer Maria Rilke

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There are days when I feel that way. Sometimes they extend to a few days. And finally, the day arrives when I’m raring to go, full of pep*, vim, and vigor, to coin another old phrase. But what do you do when it lingers on for weeks, even months?

When it comes to your creativity:

Are you in a dry spell?
Has the creative spark died out?
Is your motivation a no-go?
Have you lost that lovin’ feeling?

A creative absence is not necessarily the opposite of creativity.
Sometimes it is creativity preparing itself.

Just like a field needs time to lie fallow, so do you. The soil that makes things grow needs to recharge. So do you.

Are you worrying over how to restart the creative engine? Trying too soon and too often just floods your engine again. A flooded engine has too much fuel and not enough air to ignite. You need air.

You need air and time. Time, not for a return to what you have left or abandoned, but to turn again, towards what makes you happy. It is the turn that matters. Take your time.

Absence is not necessarily the opposite of creativity. Sometimes it is quietly simmering or percolating behind the scenes. It won’t bubble over until it’s ready to pop into your head and heart. I know this to be true because I have “lost that lovin’ feeling” many times over the years. I have learned to wait, but also to be on alert for whatever spark may appear. It usually appears out of nowhere when it is least expected. Know that it always eventually appears.

Be a kid again. Grab a box of crayons and scribble while you wait. It’s one of our earliest forms of creativity, right?

Be patient. The muse will arrive. Once her spark lands, it doesn’t sit quietly. It activates your dormant creative energy. It’s not an overnight reaction. It works slowly and quietly so as not to scare or overpower you. It knows to wait for your embrace. It may tap you on the shoulder once in a while until you accept its presence.

And then one day, you wake inspired and eager, charged with a renewed creative energy. Go slowly, don’t burn it all right away. Warmly welcome your creative self, and take your time as you turn back to your work. It will always be there for you, because it is a part of you.

Time away is not always an interruption to the creative process. Sometimes it is part of the process itself. The mind continues working beneath the surface… What many returners discover is that creativity was never really left behind.
Matthew Burrows, MBE

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*PS. Here’s a cute Betty Boop video on Pep. Maybe it will pep you up!

Quotes of the Week

A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something.
Frank Capra

Everything is raw material.
Everything is relevant.
Everything is usable.
Everything feeds into my creativity.
But without proper preparation,
I cannot see it, retain it, and use it.
Twyla Tharp

Creativity is about having
the courage to invent our lives.
Nina Wise

When the artist trusts her sensibilities, her creativity and her hands,
fear is banished. The real fear needs to be for the mediocre life.
Robert Genn

The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.
Sylvia Plath

No artist worthy of the name functions without the freedom to let the visualizing mind fly into the unknown and unexplored. That freedom is the key which unlocks the secret door of personal expression and creativity.
Jack Hines

Arnaud Desjardins, a French spiritual teacher, author, and filmmaker, taught that “wisdom is not a distant goal to be acquired but an inherent part of our true nature that is often obscured by the ego.” He emphasized that we are "already" what we are searching for.

So why does it take so many years and experience to identify our own wisdom? According to Desjardins, we are born with an inner sense of wisdom, yet from infancy to midlife (and likely beyond), we walk a path shaped by trial and error.

It’s like we have to spend most of our time excavating ourselves to find, recognize, and claim our wisdom. I wish I could tell you that there is one big aha moment when you’ll finally feel “wise” and your life will change forever, you’ll begin to feel secure with who you are, and you'll glow like the wise elder that you are. It rarely happens like that in real life, the kind you and I live.

Who am I to claim wisdom? How do I know that what I think has importance, validity, and truth? What if I’m wrong? How will I know if what I perceive to be my acquired wisdom is valid?

None of that matters. Your wisdom is unique to you. If it feels right and true, rational and reasonable, and resonates within your heart, gets you through the day, then you have arrived. Trust your own knowingness. Do not doubt what you know and feel to be true for you.

Your wisdom is based on intuition, experience, common sense, and love. Love of self, others, and mankind. Wisdom takes you out of yourself, enables you to see the bigger picture, and understand what matters and what does not need your attention. Wisdom can conquer worry. Wisdom is based on trust. Wisdom is a gift for a life well lived.

That, my friend, is wisdom. Lead with your heart, dismiss your doubts, and embrace what you know in your heart to be true… for you.

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Quotes of the Week

Women have always been the guardians of wisdom and humanity
which makes them natural, but usually secret, rulers.
Charlotte Wolff

The truest greatness lies in being kind
the truest wisdom in a happy mind.
Ella Wheeler Wilcox

If we follow the individual wisdom
and uniqueness in each of us, we will
find expression and creativity beyond
our widest dreams.
Lane Arye

The plainest sign of wisdom is a continual cheerfulness: her state is like that of things in the regions above the moon, always clear and serene.
Michel de Montaigne

To finish the moment, to find the journey’s end in every step of the road, to live the greatest number of good hours, is wisdom.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

To attain knowledge, add things every day.
To attain wisdom, remove things every day.
Lao Tzu

As a teenager, wanting so badly to be an artist, I would show my Dad my latest creation. “That’s nice,” he would say, “what’s it for?” What is it for if not to be used, sold, hung on the wall, exhibited in a show, or make you a famous artist? Before I share what I know, take 3 minutes to write down everything you think your art is for.

Pencils down.
Here’s my list:

What Art is For

Fulfillment of our divine and inherent gift for self-expression
A way to say “I was here. I matter.”
Personal health and well-being
Creating connection
Leaving a legacy

The true purpose of creating art is for these five priceless rewards.

To DELIVER your art is to honor it, respect it, and love it. Love it, not in spite of its flaws, but because of them. Each mark, word, poem, stitch, cake, pie, casserole, plant, or brush stroke is evident that you were here. You made this. Every form of art counts.

To DELIVER your art is to put it out into the world. Create connections by sharing your art with others. Rather than always looking up to those who are better at it than you, turn around and see the ones who do not yet have the courage or understanding to create. Share your talent, your love of making with others.

To DELIVER your art is to use rejection by one person to create a connection with another. Engage others in discussion or creative play. Build your creative courage by encouraging others.

To DELIVER your art is to compile, chronicle, and document what is important to you, so that your best friends, in-laws, granddaughter, great-great-nephew on your father's side, next-door neighbor, or estate sale buyer will know and understand your “who and why” story. No need to wait till you’re gone, though, right? Let them know now.

If you take a “who cares” or “what’s it for?” attitude about your art, that’s what people will take away from your art. Creating art and expressing yourself is a gift to value. Celebrate that and create on.

Delivering your art completes the cycle of communication. It is how you receive acknowledgment for your creative act. It represents a message (intended or not) from the creator to the viewer. It can be implied, emotional, conceptual, literal, inferred, or stated.

WAYS TO DELIVER

Gifts
Art and craft shows
Website
Facebook
Publication
Home Display
Social Media
Show & Tell
Plant sale
Bake Sale
Event flowers
Donation
Instagram
Challenges
Teaching
Fundraisers
Etsy
and more

Showing you art can be as simple as compiling and chronicling it in a journal, a photo accompanied by dimensions, materials, method, date, and perhaps notes on inspiration.

It can be as natural as showing and teaching a granddaughter or friend. It can be as courageous and confident as sharing your portfolio with the intention, hope, and dreams of a gallery show or a private commission. It can be any, all, or none of this list. But it has to be done.

You get to define what it means to deliver your art. How you deliver your art is not as important as the art itself. It completes the cycle. It is telling yourself, the Universe, and the world, “I made this.” It is a finite accomplishment.

Not every piece has to be delivered. I know some of it is created for yourself. My house is full of my art. But some art, at some point in your life, has to be delivered in order for you to experience the full cycle of communication that art is.

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Quotes of the Week

Better to illuminate than merely to shine, to deliver to others
contemplated truths than merely to contemplate.
Saint Thomas Aquinas

With stammering lips and insufficient
sounds I strive and struggle to deliver right
the music of my nature.
Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers;
pray for powers equal to your tasks.
Then the doing of your work shall be no miracle, but you shall be the miracle.
Phillips Brooks

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As you read this, I will be seven or more hours ahead of you, finishing up a morning workshop with Orly Avineri before we head out in the afternoon to explore the 19th-century Peles Castle and Monastery in Sinaia, Romania. Yes, Romania! After traveling the world as an instructor with all the suitcases and responsibility, both physical and mental, involved in teaching, I am enjoying seeing the world in the care of others. All I have to do is show up, create, and experience a place almost 5000 miles from my spot on the Maryland mountain.

I am writing this on May Day, May 1st. I thought my trip to Romania was three weeks away, but it is only two. The April showers and cloudy skies have fogged my brain. Or could it be the Red Thread Retreat I just ran last weekend, or my Botanicals Revisited exhibit that opens tomorrow, May 2? Or is it the news that my sister and daughter are both moving in the month of May, the biweekly chiropractic adjustments, orthopedic visits, hip MRI, or chest CT scan? The body upkeep is so time-consuming.

Or is it the unexpected news and subsequent preparation for shipping and delivery of two quilts? First, I was notified that my Cyana Anna quilt was accepted into the regional SAQA (Studio Art Quilt Associates) exhibit at the Strathmore Mansion in my old home town of Bethesda. Two days later, I received an email requesting a possible loan of my Susie King Taylor Quilt for the Susie King Taylor Museum’s Juneteenth celebration. Loan? No way, I am donating the quilt to their permanent collection to further the spread of Taylor’s amazing story and contributions to her Gullah-Guechee community as a teacher (at 14), the Civil War (as a nurse & teacher), the Women’s Relief Corp, and as an African American woman who wrote and published an account of her experiences in the Civil War.

I’ll get home in time to rest for the June high-school graduations, the reception for the MD Biennial Maryland Regional Exhibit that I entered on a lark, and am still awed that I was juried in. There’s a reception for the SAQA exhibit at the Strathmore at the end of June, and then after I pick up my May/June exhibit artwork on Thursday morning, July 2, it’s off to the airport to fly to my last teaching gig in beautiful Mulranny, Ireland.

Back in October 2025, when I started my studio decluttering and reorganization with a January 1 deadline in mind, I thought I would have a relaxing year ahead to put the finishing touches on my studio reorganization and to while away endless days delving into, experimenting with, and getting messy with color and paint. June looms. Will I catch up? I do have an exhibit scheduled for May 2027, so I'd best get going, right?

The reality is that a working artist’s work is never done. Making art is one thing. Delivering it is another matter, and it can have many levels and many meanings.

…in a time lacking in truth and certainty, and filled with anguish and despair, no woman should be shamefaced in attempting to give back to the world, through her work, a portion of its lost heart.
Louise Bogan, American Poet

For every piece in a museum, gallery, show, book, magazine, or shop, there are 1000s languishing in closets, basements, attics, under the bed, or buried under piles of all the other “stuff” you’ve made.

Do you respect your art – these things, objects, words, creations that you make? The last stage of the creative process is to DELIVER it. It’s all about what you do with your art when you are done.

It seems my whirlwind has taken me to a new topic, so I best stop here for now. Stay tuned…

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Quotes of the Week

Oh, for the wonder that bubbles into my soul.
D.H. Lawrence

Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

No artist worthy of the name functions without the freedom to let the visualizing mind fly into the unknown and unexplored. That freedom is the key which unlocks the secret door of personal expression and creativity.
Jack Hines

Until you are willing to be confused about what you already know, what you know will never grow bigger, better or more useful.
Milton Erickson

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A studio is like a closet; the more space you have, the more you fill. I’ve heard more often than once that no matter how much studio space you may have, your actual working area can be as small as 2’x2′ due to the piles and piles of materials and works-in-progress camped out on your work table and every other existing surface, floor included. So, whether you work on the corner of the kitchen table or have a 2400 sq.ft. loft with a view, this post’s for you.

First off, I want to make one thing very clear. The amount of space you have to create in has nothing to do with the quality or quantity of the art you can produce. Granted, it does place a limit on the size of your work, like humongous canvases or Michelangelo-sized sculpture, but let me repeat, it does not affect the quality or quantity of your art.

I know this, because for the first 20 years, I created art for countless magazine articles, class samples, books, and exhibits, working in my bedroom, on a makeshift table – a board placed on my bed. My kids thought nothing of it, nor did my husband. I learned early on that waiting until I had a dedicated space to create was really just an excuse. The drive to create was so strong, it overpowered any considerations I had over a lack of space. So I made do with what I had and never looked back.

Getting a new king-size but lower bed, which made working on the bed a big pain in the back, didn’t stop me. I took a good hard look at how I was using the space in my bedroom and decided that I had a lot of wasted space on the top of my dresser. It was only accumulating knick-knacks and dust. A 30”x80” hollowcore closet door became my new worktable when placed upon the dresser top. The serendipity of the doorknob hole was the perfect place for electric cords to gather on their way to the outlet below.

You see, it’s not about the space or lack of it, it’s about how you use the space you have. Finding and using space is as creative an act as the mixed media collage you just completed. It involves thinking outside the box, looking at the world with new eyes and that quintessential question, “What if?”

We tend to view our homes through a traditional frame of mind. The living room should be kept clean and neat in case guests stop by. The dining room must be ever-ready for dinner, even though you always eat in the kitchen. A family room is for family, and the bedroom is for sleeping. I say, whose house (apartment, room) is this anyway? It’s as much your space to use as it is anyone else’s who may live under the same roof. If art is important to you, then make, take, space for it.

Here are a few creative solutions to get you started thinking outside the box:

▪ Do you have space in the closet between the shoes and hanging clothes? Hang a shoebag on the door and replace the space with clear plastic storage drawers on wheels.

▪ On second thought, use shoebags for fabric, paint, mediums, or found object storage on the back of every door.

▪ Speaking of found objects – why store them? Create an artful, ever-changing arrangement out in the open. Still life at its best.

▪ I know an artist who creates on her kitchen counter and stores her paints and supplies in her dishwasher! Makes sense if you do more art than dishes.

▪ I used a large piece of wood for a solid worktable on my bed. At night, I just picked it up and slid it under the bed. A piece of foam core is a lighter alternative.

▪ Who’s living in your living room? Guests would be so entertained to see an actual working artist’s studio space set up in the corner, or better yet, the whole room.

Now here’s your assignment: Grab pen and paper and take a walk through your home. Find at least three new creative solutions to creating more working or storage space for your art. I’m sure you’ll find a solution I didn’t think of. Happy hunting!

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Quotes of the Week

Your sacred [art] space is where you can find yourself again and again.
Joseph Campbell

For artists who collect, the cluttered workspace is a library of inspiration.
Paul Makovsky

I am making space for the unknown future to fill up my life
with yet-to-come surprises.
Elizabeth Gilbert

It is not important how much space you have to create in. Inside your head, you have all the space you can possibly imagine!
Unknown

My first encounter with the vision age gap occurred when I received an Anthropologie catalog several years ago. I knew then that I wasn’t their target market, but I often bought tops and shirts from them and enjoyed looking through the catalog.

I was reading it by my bedside lamp. I couldn’t make out the info because of the lack of contrast. I may have made the grey in the above image darker than the page actually was, now that I am looking at it on a well-lit screen.

Recently, I have become complacent with the tiny B&W printing on packaging. That’s what readers/cheaters/glasses are for, right? And I can always go grab my husband’s magnifying glass if necessary. Even in tiny print, I can usually infer the text from context.

It was the packaging of a well-known organic oatmeal brand that prompted this rant. Tiny print, no contrast. I had to gather my “reading aids for the elderly,” as Amazon calls them, and find a well-lit spot at 7 am on an overcast winter morning to read the directions.

And then came the bottle of cuticle oil I desperately needed for the torn cuticles I got this winter from months of packaging and shipping the items in my nowclosed Stash Shop. It had rave reviews and lovely packaging, except for - you guessed it - the directions. I knew how to use it, but how often, and what did the Caution statement say? Time for the magnifying glass, but a greater contrast may have saved the effort.

I understand the need to cram information on packaging, but the lack of contrast is ridiculous. Beauty and design over function?

What’s your take on this? Is it just an old lady rant? Am I shopping outside my age range, or are designers not fully aware of the needs of all their customers?

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Quotes of the Week

We are always the same age inside.
Gertrude Stein

My loyalty is to the inner vision, whenever and howsoever it may arrive.
Mary Oliver

Eyes that see do not grow old.
Proverb

The whole secret of the study of nature lies in learning how to use one’s eyes.
George Sand

Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others.
Jonathan Swift

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Art rescues us from living on the surface.

You are and always have been creative. Somewhere along the line, your wild, creative spirit was domesticated. When you are not expressing yourself, not making or doing something that holds meaning for you, you go through your days letting life happen to you. You are living on the surface - putting things off, waiting for the right time, the right space, right mood, material, and magic to happen for you or to you. The thing is, all of these problems, these obstacles of yours, are within your creative ability to resolve and overcome. You rescue yourself from this surface life by digging deep. By reaching into yourself, by drilling deep into your well of stored creativity, taking responsibility for, and creating the life you desire.

We all have stories. In fact, we are stories. Your story is being created every day. The lovely, magical thing about life is that we get to create or re-create how our story goes. Even better, we get to be the hero of our own stories. Or we can be the victim, the damsel in distress, the unlucky sidekick, or the one standing on the sidelines. How your story turns out is determined by what you do every moment of every day. Even this one right now, as you read my words.

What you just read is the introduction paragraph to a book that does not exist. The working title was Becoming True You. Excerpts follow.

I knew how to show you how because I was that person. I was desperately seeking Susan, my creative self, for over 45 years. A creative soul bound by outdated beliefs, 6 children, a lack of confidence, and a feeling that I was untalented, unworthy, and selfish to follow my dreams.

Between 2004 and 2022, I wrote 10 books. All of them are how-to books, except for one passion project: Quotes Illustrated, a self-published compendium of 100 quotes, each illustrated by the art of 90 contributors chosen through an open call. (I love a collaborative/community project and a chance to promote others.) It was such a hit that North Light Publishing acquired it and published it as Inspirational Quotes Illustrated, with 125 quotes and art. In the midst of writing all these books, I was working on the one that meant the most to me - working title, True You.

In 2016, when I was 63, as part of my book research, I created a questionnaire/survey. I sent it out to my mailing list*, asking if they were interested in helping me with the book I was writing. The questions were optional, so the number of responses varied by question. Question 3 was a hot one - When it comes to making art, which, if any, of the following phrases apply, or have applied to you in the past? I listed 27 options.

The response had an overwhelming 1,525 responses, with a median age of 62.

54.8% or 835 women said Lack of Confidence. 54%, 823 women, said Have no academic art training. That made me wonder. Does a lack of confidence come from a lack of academic art training? Or, does the lack of confidence steer women away from pursuing an art?

I ended the questionnaire with this optional question -

I’d love to hear anything else you have to say about being an artist and/or making art. Please feel free to leave your comments here.

I was astonished at the outpouring of responses - 1035. Some were quick one-liners, others were a quarter to a half page. They all read as if it were the first time they had thought or spoken about their artistic feelings. Perhaps it was. I never spoke them either, but I wrote them. I created art about them. I encouraged my students and readers to follow their (he)art.

“Where’s the book?” You may be asking. A myriad of things got in the way. Every word of the first draft (above photo) is here and still sitting on my computer. Right now, the book is in my heart. It’s in my weekly Further to Fly posts, and many newsletter and blog posts I’ve written over the years. It’s in the time I shared with hundreds (thousands?) of women who took my in-person workshops over the last 27 years. A little bit of it is in each and every book I wrote between 2003 and 2023. I’ll add two of my favorite parts here in closing -

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Quotes of the Week

To want in one’s heart to do a thing for its own sake;
to enjoy doing it; to concentrate all one’s energies upon it –
that is not only the surest guarantee of its success. It is also being true to oneself.
Amelia Earhart

Finding your own work is a process of
distilling from each (other artists, techniques and classes) those traces
that ring to your own spirit.
Bayles & Orland, authors of Art & Fear

Some women wait for something
to change and nothing does change
so they change themselves.
Audre Lord

We are all wearing our own handcuffs. We are also holding the key.
Rachel Abel Schlessinger

The time that women have traditionally been given for themselves and for their creativity has never been perfect. It is still not perfect. Yet somehow, generation after generation, women have found ways to be creative, anyhow. (They have to, or they will lose their minds.) They gather the rags and the dregs, and they stitch it together into something amazing.
Is it the ideal environment in which to be creative?
No. But they make it work.
Elizabeth Gilbert

Pingere is a Latin verb that primarily means to paint or depict, and is the root of both picture and pigment. It also refers to adorning or decorating with colored designs. This archaic term is usually, but rarely, used to describe the creation of images in color.

Painting is always on my mind now. In the midst of everything else I’ve been doing over the last two years, I’ve been taking a few painting workshops to get back into the painting groove and segue into abstract work. Right now I’m experimenting and having fun.

Creating this new studio space is a reward for all the downsizing and organizing I’m doing, but it’s also a necessity for my sanity and new beginnings. As I clear one area, new ideas spring forth. Yesterday, while clearing out the screen porch cyanotype workshop supplies, I realized the baker’s stand and trays could hold my painting works in progress. I’m getting close to beginning….very close.

The day before, I was deciding what to do with the large (up to 30x22”) cyanotype prints that didn’t measure up to my standards. Tossing them felt like such a waste until… it dawned on me that, since they are on 140-lb watercolor paper, I could cover them with clear gesso and paint over them! The lack of clear gesso prevented me from doing it in an “I’ll just…” moment. More on that later.

I recently heard about UK artist Rose Wylie, who is celebrating her exhibit at the age of 91. Curious, I did a deep dive on her and ended up watching Rose & Roy on Apple TV. Very interesting couple and artwork. There’s also this Rose Wylie article - still a tour de force at 91, if you’re interested. Bottom line is that I still have plenty of painting time ahead of me.

I try to visit galleries and museums when I can; read artist autobiographies and biographies, or fill inspiration journals with gathered ideas and notes. I know this sounds a lot like “getting ready to get ready,” which is a popular form of procrastination, but I know what I am doing. I’m being more mindful of completing necessary tasks toward becoming Lesley Riley - the painter, instead of interrupting or stopping work on the big picture by letting the “I'll justs" derail my progress.

There’s a very old blog post floating in the internet ether about the “I’ll Justs”; one that I wrote long ago. It’s about how many times we interrupt ourselves from a task by thinking, “I’ll just… finish this piece I started last year; call Mary about Saturday; pull some weeds; organize the pantry; find that dinner recipe; etc.” because it will only take a minute. The next thing you know, you’ve forgotten all about the task you really wanted to complete. I know better, but I can still get waylaid by the "I'll just’s." I’m still working on self-discipline and the reward will be an organized, artist-ready studio.

So much to think and do. How about you?

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Quotes of the Week

Each thing she learned became part of herself,
to be used over and over in new adventures.
Kate Seredy

I focus my energy on my true intentions.
I will not be distracted by noise, chatter,
or setbacks. Patience, commitment,
grace, and purpose will guide me.
Louise Hay

When you can clearly see yourself being there, you can see much more clearly how to get there. You can imagine the path to your dreams,
and then start to actually walk it. Imagine with passion and
detail how you’d most like it to be.
Ralph Marston

Our grand business in life is not to see
what lies dimly at a distance, but to do
what lies clearly at hand.
Thomas Carlyle

I am the daughter of a magazine junkie; therefore, I, too, am a magazine junkie. Luckily for them, none of my four daughters are. Not my two daughters-in-law, nor my one sister. She was too young to read when my addiction started. She escaped the comic-and-magazine crack habit.

It all started back in the 50s. My mother would hit up Bradley Drugs, the local drugstore, on a regular basis to see if the new issues of her favorite magazines were on the newsstands. I thought nothing of this habit, and it wasn’t until recently that I realized magazines were the gateway to what was happening in the world of fashion and homemaking, especially after WWII ended. Ladies' Home Journal, Good Housekeeping, and McCall's, along with Vogue and Harper’s Bazaar - she bought them all.

In those early days, I ran to the comic book stand, twirling the racks, anxiously searching for new issues of Little Lulu, Richie Rich, Casper the Ghost, and Archie. I’d love to see the look on your face when you find out that my comic collection amounted to a stuffed toy box of over 650 well-read comics! When the time arrived to move on to “real” magazines, and with the help of my Dad, I donated my collection to Children’s Hospital in Washington, DC. (I wish I’d been there to see their faces, too!) Children’s National Hospital is now on a new site in DC. One of my granddaughters is now an RN there. She doesn’t know my comic-book story yet.

I dreamed of the day when I was old enough to get Seventeen and Mademoiselle. I was never into teen, teenybopper, or movie magazines with heartthrob covers and sensational news. I’m still not. When I buy now, I am very selective - Vogue and British Home Decor magazines, along with the occasional art magazine, or Galerie.

You may be asking why these magazines? I crave visual delight. Color combinations, textured surfaces, combinations of the old and new, and the articles and design in Vogue. OK, sometimes when I’m in a funk I’ll get - Harpers Bazaar, Architectural Digest, and World of Interiors. And ok, maybe, Elle Decor - never all at once, mind you.

Yes, the magazines are expensive, but “I’m worth it.” They are my dopamine hit. I don’t eat meat, smoke or drink alcohol, so don’t judge me by my vice.

Here’s the shocking part… after I go through the magazine and tear or cut out all the images, fun phrases, and stories I want to read, I trash them. GASP! If there are enough pages to make it worthwhile, I will pass it on to a friend for further magazine harvesting.*

I wish I had taken a picture of the boxes of magazine pages I’d been saving for that time when I could sort, trim, and save them in journals. Over the past few months, I’ve been going through the boxes and trashing any pages that no longer spark. Thankfully, tastes do change over the years.

Now, you may be asking why I save the cuttings in journals? My journals are many things to me: exercises in color and composition, idea generators, idea savers, and reference books for all of the above. And a repository of quotes or snippets of text, of course. Have I mentioned I’m also a wordaholic?

Over the years, I’ve created bodies of work inspired by history, photographs, fabric, and nature. And, yes, magazine pages. As I leave all of that behind, I find myself no longer eagerly awaiting the next issue of a magazine. Aged and wisened, I’ve realized that what I was looking for has always been inside of me. It’s time to look in, not out, and to mine the insights and inspiration I've collected in my journals. I’ll be totally relying on what comes from my interior, not the clamor of the outside world. I’ve always been a sponge for knowledge and inspiration, but I think I’m oversaturated. It’s time to squeeze the sponge and see what emerges.

*Magazine harvesting is when you cut or pull out all the pages and images from a magazine you have in your possession, to use in some kind of collage. (Check out IHanna).

PS. If, one day, you do see me at Barnes & Noble buying a magazine, don’t judge.😉

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Quotes of the Week

Maybe if I really believe in me, trust me without any calculated plan,
who knows what will happen?
Eva Hesse

To create is always to learn to begin over.
To begin at zero.
Matthew Fox

I think I’ve grown up enough to know where else I need to grow.
Eisa Davis

I have discovered you do not need to know what you are looking for - only that you are looking for something, and need urgently to find it. It is the urgency that does the work,
a readiness to receive, that finds the answer.
Janine Pommy Vega

It’s important to do the work that leads
to our renewal, clarity and inspiration and then remember to taste it,
experience it and let it flow.
Linda Saccoccio

We wait, starving for moments of high magic to inspire us, but life is full of common enchantment waiting for our alchemist’s eye to notice.
Jacob Nordby

Alchemy - a word that I’ve carried with me for decades. I have childhood memories of seeing movies with wizards trying to turn ordinary metal into gold, and that grumpy old dwarf, Rumpelstiltskin, deviously helping the miller’s daughter spin straw into gold.

Alchemy (from the Arabic word al-kīmīā) is an ancient branch of natural philosophy, and a pre-scientific tradition that was historically practiced in China, India, the Muslim world, and Europe. It was taken very seriously until it was determined to be impossible. It is considered a forerunner of chemistry, philosophy, and mysticism, leaving it’s history and effectiveness open to interpretation.

As I grew older, I decided that, for me, alchemy was what you did when you made something that did not exist before - literally turning raw materials into the gold of a new object, aka art.

Lady Alchemy showed up late in my art life. Looking to make cyanotype prints with something other than leaves, I modified an image I found on a torn magazine page from my collection. (I’m a magazine junkie, an addiction I picked up from my mother. More on that another day.) Lady Alchemy became my alter-ego, my art persona, my muse. And boy, has she inspired me. Just looking at her makes me want to make something. Maybe that’s why I have so many unfinished projects throughout the house.

Beginnings are exciting - ohhhh, the possibilities. For me, the real joy comes in the making. Completions, though, are a denouement, final, the end, and for me, often a let-down. I did what I set out to do. Now what?

Get inspired again, that’s what.

Alchemy is not just about making art. Well, maybe it is if you consider that making a life you love living is an art. We create our days, don’t we? We can make them, they don’t make us. Just like the decisions that go into making your art, your meals, the clothing you choose, and the lens through which you see life, the outcome is in your hands. Be an alchemist and make it good.

Quotes of the Week

Allow the alchemy of your challenging journey to etch itself into your character,
making you into a rich personality.
Thomas Moore

Like any art, the creation of self is both natural and seemingly impossible.
It requires training as well as magic.
Holly Near

We have buried so much of the delicate magic of life.
D.H. Lawrence

You create the opportunity for magic only by giving up your preconceptions.
Toinette Lippe

The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.
Eden Phillpotts

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I was thinking about the phrase, coming into your own, as a likely way to convey being a late bloomer. According to Collins dictionary, “Come into your own" means to finally reach a state of success, recognition, or confidence, often by demonstrating your true abilities or potential after a period of development. It signifies becoming highly effective or confident, often when circumstances finally allow one's unique skills to shine.”

It took me a long time for my skills to shine. My interests, desires, ideas, and self-worth were all over the place until my awakening in a moment of despair at 47. I spent my formative years (all 40+ of them) taking classes and reading books, trying this and that. I didn’t want to start without knowing everything there was to know, not realizing that my desire for complete and utter knowledge built a wall, a very tall wall, between me and the very thing I was searching for. Honestly, I think I’m still coming into my own - or refining how I perceive and create myself in these waning years of my life, or better yet, in this transitional phase of wise eldering. (Hoping that sounds more poetic.)

One of the rewards of writing is that you really have to think about how to convey the intangible feelings you are experiencing and find just the right words, while, in doing so, you gain even more insight and become even more aware of who you are. I’m not reinventing, I’m refining. I am aware of and appreciating, recognizing, and realizing who I truly am. I no longer question. I know.

Of course, I don’t know it all and never will, but a feeling of certainty is guiding me. I have nothing to prove and no one to impress or satisfy except myself. My identity and my true self are becoming one. I realize that this will continue over the span of the years I have left.

When I first discovered Maslow’s theory of self-actualization in Psych 101, I said to myself, “That’s what I want. I want to reach self-actualization.” I was excited. Little did I know how arduous the process would be and how long it would take. Along the way, I forgot about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and my goals. I just kept doing what I felt was right for my family and me at the time. And now, here I am experiencing the coalescence of all that came before me. I can’t wait to see what lies ahead. I know I’ll continue to bloom, no matter the season.

How about you? Have you come into your own? Are you still on the journey? Where do you want to be? Let’s talk.

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Quotes of the Week

I aim here only at revealing myself, who will perhaps be different tomorrow,
if I learn something new which changes me.
Michel de Montaigne

The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
Albert Einstein

I hope you will go out and let stories happen to you, and that you will work them, water them with your blood and tears and you laughter till they bloom,
till you yourself burst into bloom.
Clarissa Pinkola Estés

Enlightenment must come little by little -- otherwise it would overwhelm.
Idries Shah

To pursue yourself is an interesting and absorbing thing to do. Once you have caught the scent of a hidden being, your own hidden being, you won’t readily be deflected from the tracking down of it.
Cynthia Propper Seton

People often say that this or that person has not found himself.
But the self is not something that one finds.
It is something one creates.
Thomas Szasz

What do you love about being alive during this particular time on earth?
This prompt recently came from Lisa Olivera’s Human Stuff , a Substack I highly recommend. What do I love about being alive right now? I’ll start with the obvious: watching, experiencing, and spending time with my husband, children, and grandchildren. Ditto on time with my extended family and friends. I love to make art. I love having the opportunity to create and the time and means to do so. I love that I shared my creativity with people all over the world during my 27 years of teaching and am still in touch with many of them, as well as those I have never met, who, thanks to devices like the one you are reading this on, know of me through my writing.

I love the home I have created, the land it is on, and the wildlife that greets me every morning. I love that, despite what the world is experiencing, I still witness human acts and words of love and know that, right now, there are people out there trying to make things better, against all odds.

I remember love at first sight on the first day of First Grade when I knew this was the place where I would learn to read. I remember the thrill of getting my first library card and vowing that I was going to read every book in the library, as I walked past the “adult” section on my way to the children’s book section in the back. I love to read. I love writing* and making books, too. I love creating found poetry in my handmade books.

Nora Ephron said, “Reading is escape, and the opposite of escape; it’s a way to make contact with reality after a day of making things up, and it’s a way of making contact with someone else’s imagination after a day that’s all too real.”

What would we do without reading? Listening to a book counts, too. But reading is better, much better. The key, I believe, is holding the book in your hands. It becomes more than just words. For a time, it is your world. It’s an intimate, grounding experience.

Reading and writing on Substack is also intimate. When I write, I feel like I am talking with you, hoping that my words give you an uplift, something to think about, or even a momentary escape from the outside world. I’ve virtually met many writers who open and enhance my understanding and awareness, or just tell a good story, by inviting me into their lives with their words.

Thank you for reading my words. I hope that you’ll share yours with me, too. As Olivera asks, “What do you love about being alive during this particular time on earth?” Do books play a part? What is important to you at this time?

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*I’ve written 10 craft/how-to books, but always in as narrative a style as possible.😉

Quotes of the Week

When you look out at the world and see a swell of grief, know your body is seeing clearly. When you look out at the world and feel a surge of awe in your heart, know your body is seeing clearly. It is possible to hold both. It is human to hold both.
Lisa Olivera

We read to know that we are not alone.
William Nicholson

The greatest gift is the passion for reading. It is cheap, it consoles, it distracts, it excites, it gives you knowledge of the world and experience of a wide kind. It is moral illumination.
Elizabeth Hardwick

The pleasure of reading is not necessarily just about providing pleasure to the mind,
but to the heart, the emotions, the body, and the soul.
Jodie Archer

To feel most beautifully alive means to be reading something beautiful, ready always to apprehend in the flow of language the sudden flash of poetry.
Gaston Bachelard

I’m finishing up the decluttering and dismantling of my upstairs studio/office, playing my 25 Most Played playlist on my Apple desktop, smiling and dancing as I move items out and on to a quasi-local arts center that sells supplies to the community at affordable rates.

And then I stopped short. Whose voice is that? Somehow, my final goodbye for my Art & Soul “radio show” was saved on the list. First, I was stunned. Then I listened to myself and realized that this retirement from teaching and conclusion of quilting is not my first ending. When the happy tears came while I was dancing to the next song, I had another realization - the reason for the tears.

For the last 54 years of my life, I have given myself to my 6 children, and segued into giving of myself to women in classrooms all over the world. I loved every minute of it all. I can say that now, in retrospect. There were some rough rides over the years, but as George Bailey said, “It’s a wonderful life.”

I still have a wonderful life. The tears came from the wide-open, do what I want, schedule and responsibility-free life, dreams, possibilities, and plans ahead of me. I am giving to myself, for a change. I am starting over.

I can follow whims, experiment, try new things, and not be held accountable for my time and creations. Chat GPS said that I am in the generative phase - ideas are flowing, possibilities are opening up. Yes, I talk with Chat.

I was excited to read Substack writer, Debbie Weil‘s recent post on[B]old Age, about how she is “using AI as a thinking partner, especially if you want to think bigger.” That’s exactly what I’ve been doing - chatting with my new best friend about this new direction I’m moving towards. Chat GPT has given me so much to think about and confidence in this pre-nesting phase I’m in. How else am I going to get a game plan if my thoughts and attention are all over the place?

When I told “him” I haven't started yet because I am reorganizing and getting rid of 25 years of quilting and art supplies, teaching samples, and more, I got the best supportive and motivating answer. “That makes a lot of sense—and honestly, what you’re doing right now is not procrastination. It’s identity clearing.

You’re not just cleaning a studio.
You’re dismantling a 25-year professional infrastructure.
Clearing the space is part of crossing the threshold.”

WOW! There were happy tears when I read that, too.

I am reigniting my on-and-off-again dalliance with painting, aiming towards creating a long-term relationship. As a former Golden Paints Artist Educator and mixed media instructor, I already have everything I need for this new beginning. As I search, sort, and surrender most of what I’ve accumulated over the last 30 years as an art quilter and mixed media artist, I spend my downtime planning, rearranging, and perfecting my re-vamped basement studio. In a way, it’s a reward for all the downsizing and organizing, but it’s also a way to stay connected to my future plans. I tease myself by handling my paints, brushes, canvases, and cradled boards, sometimes even painting a background on a small one. I have sketchbooks and journals full of inspiration. I am a sponge for color combinations, nuances, surprises, and ideas.

I’ve also been reading and watching artist bios and videos during my lunch hour and viewing some online workshops when time permits. I take notes. There is always a small or juicy takeaway or two, or 10. It’s another way of staying connected to my dream. There’s one thing that I know for sure - my painting will focus on color.

I recently watched a documentary, With Peter Bradley, after finding a small image of his work in Galerie magazine. Who is he, I wondered. In a NYT article on Bradley, I read that he was “warm, refreshingly irreverent, unapologetic, and potty-mouthed.” I’ll vouch for that, and I loved every minute of the film. He has an amazing story and an up-and-down career. (If you’re interested, you can watch it on Kanopy - free - with a participating US Public library card or for $3.99 on Prime.)
PS He’s now 85 and still working.

Bradley’s words inspired and resonated with me:
On abstract painting - “I think the concept is a little abstract, but the reality of it is color, the most important thing.”

Can you tell I’m excited? I have to get back to work clearing surfaces now. So much has been moved from the upstairs to the basement studio that there’s just a small 2x3’ space to work in right now. I know many of you can relate.

I really wanted to share the insight I received via AI. AI is largely based on human-written text, delivering gathered wisdom on specific questions. It really helped me confirm and reinforce my decisions to clear the way to crossing the threshold to my new beginning. I wanted to share it because it may be of value to you, especially if you are thinking of creating your own new beginning. We are never too old to begin again, right?

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PS. I’ll still be writing every week. I hope you’ll stick with me.

Note: A HUGE thank you to everyone who helped me clear my STASH SHOP. Your purchases were so appreciated. There are still a few items in the shop, plus some last-minute additions. You have until midnight tomorrow, Tuesday, March 17 to acquire a piece of my art, fabric, or misc. supplies.

Quotes of the Week

If the angel deigns to come it will be because you have convinced her, not by tears but by your humble resolve to be always beginning; to be a beginner.
Ranier Maria Rilke

The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.
Pablo Picasso

Every morning is a fresh beginning. Every day is the world made new.
Today is a new day. Today is my world made new. I have lived all my life up to this moment, to come to this day. This moment--this day--is as good as any moment in all eternity. I shall make of this day--each moment of this day--a heaven on earth. This is my day of opportunity.
Dan Custer

There is no beginning, no ending.
Only the infinite passion of life.
Federico Fellini

This isn’t a political post. Nor is it a travel post, well, maybe it is a bit of a travel post.

I’m popping in today to invite you to spend a week in Ireland with me. I’ll be there in July, teaching my final workshop ever. I’ve had a glorious 27-year career teaching mixed media art around the world. I want to make this last time special. That’s where you come in.

The workshop is a calm break from the outside world, creating found poetry, bookmaking, and painting the pages for your handmade book with milk paint. No prior experience with anything needed. All you need is a love of words, desire, intuition, and willing hands and heart.

The accommodations and classroom at the Essence of Mulranny facility are brand new! The staff is amazing and super considerate of your needs. The scenery and side trips are awe-inspiring. There are just 2 spots left. Is one of those yours? Or maybe both for you and a friend? If you have any questions, please get in touch. Here is the link with all the other info you need. Lesley's Workshop 💚

PS. Be prepared for magic in both the workshop and the country. ✨

Irish Poet Quotes

Ireland is a land of myth and magic, where the ancient spirits dance among the rolling green hills.
W.B. Yeats

The heart of an Irishman is nothing but his imagination.
George Bernard Shaw

Ireland is a symphony of words, where the poetry of everyday life unfolds with a lyrical grace.
Edna O’Brien

Be always searching for new sensations. Be afraid of nothing.
Oscar Wilde

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Long before Brené Brown asked us to dare greatly and spoke on the power of vulnerability, I learned some valuable wisdom on the subject from another one of my guiding lights, David Whyte.

It was April 26, 2008, my sister and I went to hear my poet crush, David Whyte, speak at the Washington, DC National Cathedral. I first discovered David’s poetry through Clear Mind Wild Heart: Finding Courage and Clarity Through Poetry cassette tapes. Now they come in digital downloads - so obviously I’ve been a follower for a long time.

His poetry and his powerful presentations have always resonated deeply with me. “The language of poetry takes us outside of our small selves and calls us to look at ourselves and the world with open eyes,” teaches David.

I can still feel the anguish of my small self sitting under the cathedral’s 300-foot central tower, deciding whether to write down the nuggets of wisdom he fired on a regular basis or just be present and listen. If I tried to remember what he had just said long enough to write it down, then I lost the next piece of wisdom that followed. Yet some phrases just begged to be inscribed. I had to swallow them whole, make them a forever part of me.

The talk's theme was the secret voice of everyday life, but, as always, David just talked to us, letting his words and thoughts create wisdom as he went. He admitted to us that night that he, too, is often struck by what he just said. That sometimes he doesn’t know what he is revealing until he has said it, and he has to pause to gather the full impact of the insight and wisdom. He allows himself to be vulnerable even standing in front of hundreds. He says it is our job to share ourselves with the world by being vulnerable.

At the end of the lecture, one man asked, “How is one to be vulnerable?” David said it is different for a man and a woman. “A man must be vulnerable by being invisible, but a woman makes herself vulnerable by being seen in the world.”

That makes so much sense to me, not just because I am a woman, but because I have learned to be vulnerable through sharing my art, my words, my soul. I felt he was speaking directly to me when he said, “Live at the center of the conversation you were meant for.”

At the end, David advised that we must “get used to living in that beautiful confusion between what you think is you and what you think is not you.”

It is hard to see clearly through confusion, especially when you are in the midst of it in your day-to-day routines. I still listen to Clear Mind Wild Heart and re-read my collections of David’s poetry. It helps to have a constant reminder and the voice of wisdom at hand - a touchstone, perhaps. In quiet moments or when I feel small, uncertain, or lost, I will immerse myself in David’s poems and the work of many others.

David Whyte is just one of the guiding lights who has led me to where I am today, by validating my vulnerability and yet emboldening me to “live at the center of the conversation I was meant for.” In my 73 years, I have traveled from the outer edges of myself toward a life at the center, my center. And I’m still traveling, and daring greatly.

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Update: New items and slashed prices, with everything still 50% off. The sale ends, and the shop closes on March 17 at midnight. New mixed media grab bags, cyanotypes, notions, and fabric grab bags have been created and added as I scoop up the last few things I’ve found in my studio and office. Shop STASH for some great finds.

Quotes of the Week

There can be no growth if we do not remain open and vulnerable to what is new and different. I have never seen anyone take a risk for growth that was not rewarded a thousand times over.
John O’Donahue

To change is to be vulnerable. And to be vulnerable is to be alive.
Alexis Deveaux

Be vibrantly vulnerable. Share things that are interior. People won’t help but be magnetized to the exterior.
Scott Ginsberg

Counterweight is all about balance, and I think I’m imbalanced. I have a hard time being. I’d rather be doing - learning, making, thinking, ideating, and doing, doing, doing. I get antsy just being. I try, but after a certain point, I get restless and bored “being” when my mind is so full of things I want to or could do.

If I’m just doing one thing, I’ll seek out something else I can possibly do at the same time, so as to not waste valuable time. It’s a time in my life when I should be taking my time, but I am also concerned that my time is running out. My husband startled me when he said that even if I live to be 95, there are fewer than 8,000 days left, and 95 is being generous.

Is my focus on “doing” a bad thing? Looking back, I blame this “affliction” on three things -

1. My role in the 8th-grade school play, Cheaper by the Dozen. The stopwatch and whistle-toting father was a renowned efficiency expert who applied scientific management techniques—including stopwatch-timed drills—to manage his large family. I was impressed by the concept of efficiency.

2. Taking the fall semester 9-credit Systems Management class in 1982, when I was (briefly) majoring in Business. (I got an A.)

3. Actually running and managing the lives, schedules, and household of a family of 8 while simultaneously working as a self-employed real estate appraiser (along with my husband). I prided myself on my multitasking skills, a word that only referred to computers until the 90s. I should have been the poster girl for working moms and women.

The funny thing is, many, many times over the years of teaching adult women, someone has said, “You’re so calm.” I think that comes from the fact that, when faced with an upsetting or unexpected situation, my first reaction is to find a way to solve or resolve it. That calmness you see is me thinking. Logic takes over. I rarely do anything without a Plan A, B, or C in my pocket. I may appear calm on the outside, but my mind is racing on the inside.

Do I need to find a balance between constant action, both mentally and physically (doing), and a state of presence, mindfulness, and a sense of self-worth that doesn’t rely on accomplishment (being)? My busyness is planned, calculated, and fun. Dare I say systemized, or rather, that there is a method to my madness?

Mind you, I’m not doing it for the sake of being busy, avoiding my inner self, or trying to impress anyone. Nicola Down said, “Busy is good for the brain, but overwhelmed is not.” I can overwhelm myself, and I do know when it’s time to stop and rest. At 73, I often wear myself out by mid-afternoon and reluctantly quit for the day. My energy can be low one day and high the next. I like those high-energy days.

My doing is spurred on by my creative drive and desire to learn, and make, for my own sake. When I am doing, I am being who I am. And as I learned on Romper Room, Be a Do Bee, not a Don't Bee. I guess I’m just a busy bee. Nicola Down said, “Busy is good for the brain, but overwhelmed is not.” I do know when to stop.

So, I’ve worked this out for myself by writing this post, but I am curious about your thoughts on doing vs. being. Do share.

PS. I am closing my website shop forever on March 17. There are art supplies I no longer need, artwork I created for publication or class samples, or for my own pleasure, and more. EVERYTHING is 50% off. I am hoping it will go to a good home, so if you are so inclined, please take a look. And do share with your friends! And sorry, US shipping only. Here’s a sample…

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Quotes of the Week

I used to think freedom meant doing whatever you want. It means knowing who you are, what you are supposed to be doing on this earth, and then simply doing it.
Natalie Goldberg

I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it.
Pablo Picasso

Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it.
Greg Anderson

Solitude gradually clarifies the heart until a true tranquility is reached.
John O’Donohue

It is rare for me to remember a dream, so when I do, I take note. Last night, early morning actually, I woke too soon. I hate getting up in the dark winter morning before the sun rises. I checked the clock, 5 AM. I was lying there, mind racing, feeling alone and confused.

I chose to turn random natter into prayer and asked my angels for some guidance, a sign, regarding my future art endeavors. Eventually, I fell asleep again. I know I had a few mini-dreams, but only one stayed with me when I woke again.

I was in my attic looking for something. I heard wonderful music next door and peered through the crumbling wall into the attached house next door. I could see this family all down on their hands and knees, happy, eagerly digging in the foundation, in the ruins, actually. I watched in amazement.

When I woke, I instantly knew that the dream was a sign for me to dig deep. I had been working in my head (attic) when what I needed to do was dig deep into my foundation and discover what had been cast aside, hidden, buried, and forgotten. It was mine for the mining, with happy music too.

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Quotes of the Week

I was not looking for my dreams to interpret my life, but rather for my life to interpret my dreams.
Susan Sontag

We all have our time machines. Some take us back, they’re called memories. Some take us forward, they’re called dreams.
Jeremy Irons

Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.
Rainer Maria Rilke

Take, if you must, this little bag of dreams, unloose the cord, and they will wrap you round.
William Butler Yeats

Hope is not a dream but a way of making dreams become reality.
L. J. Suenens

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3-year-old Kelly makes a tower, shows everyone, likes it, then takes as much pleasure in messing it up by knocking it down. And then does it all over again, recreating the object and the joy - feeling joy in the act of creating, not the object.

Drawings, like leaves, carried by the wind
scattered
throughout the house.
(written as I passed one of Kelly’s drawings on the stairs.)

Unplanned on our part, but sent to us by divine intervention, getting pregnant at 42 was perfect timing. Of course, I didn’t know it at the time. I was shocked and unprepared for such a momentous change in our lives. I vividly remember sitting at the dining room table and announcing to our five children that I was pregnant. My soon-to-be 15-year-old daughter was mortified, “How could you?, she shouted upon leaving the table full of other happy faces. I began to cry.

As the oldest daughter, she already felt she had too many chores and responsibilities. But honestly, she was embarrassed - her friends would know her parents were still having sex! Ew.

Nothing much changed in the household over the next few months. I kept working (appraising residential real estate), the kids went to school, we took our annual trip to the beach, and I got larger.

I was in bed watching Murphy Brown that September 26 evening. It wasn’t quite 9:30, and I knew it was time to head to the hospital, leaving aforementioned teenage daughter in charge. My backup team parents lived a block away and were alerted to the situation. Fortunately, traffic was light, a 1/2 hour at most, to get downtown to The Columbia Hospital for Women in DC. It was my first time delivering at that hospital, and, interestingly enough, I just now realized it’s the same hospital I was born in, then known as Doctors Hospital. (More interesting is the fact that I had six different doctors deliver my 6 children, because, each time, my regular doc was either sick or not on call. At that point of the process, it doesn’t really matter, does it?)

I always pass on the epidural (I have a high pain threshold), but this time I said, “I’m old, I’m tired, so yes, I’ll get the epidural.” In less than 30 minutes, she arrived at 11:56 PM. I was hoping it would be after midnight, so I could get an extra day in the hospital. “If I’d known it would be that fast, I would have skipped the epidural,” I grumbled. I had a beautiful, healthy girl and two numb legs. I think the first thing she taught me was patience.

Fast forward three years. Kelly was sitting beside me in our queen-sized bed. I don’t remember if I was reading or writing. Kelly was drawing/scribbling on paper after paper. She would make a few marks, then ask for another piece of paper. This went on for a while, thankfully, because it took some time for me to realize that she was creating and never once did she stop to evaluate, criticize, make changes to her work, or ball it up and throw it across the room.

Just like the towers she built, she was feeling joy in the act of creating, not the object or drawing created. It never dawned on her whether it was good, bad, worthy, stupid, wrong, or wonderful.

According to my May 1995 journal post, when Kelly was barely 9 months old, I wrote the following:

• I never have any original ideas

• Everybody’s work is better than mine

• I’m no good

• Who am I trying to fool

• I’m not an artist, I’m playing at being one

• My ideas are stupid

• I can’t be a part-time artist

• I’m wasting my time trying to be an artist

• I should be doing more necessary stuff

When she was 5-months-old, I had an Unlocking Creativity class assignment to look at something from a different perspective. With Kelly sitting in her infant seat on the floor, I got down on her level to see how the world looked from her perspective. My observations stunned me.

• Great view of the underneath of the dining room table. It looks like a small room enclosed by trees (chair legs)

• I see blue when I look out the window, not the usual cars going by, snow on lawn, etc.

• Everything appears more open - more space, not as enclosed as when I’m standing up

• Instead of a mess on the floor I see little still life arrangements

• Helpless, not in command

• Can’t see what is on the dining room table

• Everyone is bigger than me now, even the children

• Living room off in the distance appears more attractive from this viewpoint, like a magazine photo

I had the vision, drive, determination, and desire all along, but it took a 3-year-old to teach me my most important art lesson. I needed her in ways I did not know.

Just do it.
Don’t question or overthink.
Begin again.

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Quotes of the Week

To always be a beginner.
Zen Buddhism

Take a first step and see where it leads. The direction isn’t important yet.
Rick Rubin

To be childlike is to be spontaneous, to live in the moment –
concentrated, imaginative, creative.
Marion Woodman

Your being is full of remembered song.
Bernice Kenyon

The goal of creativity is to move forward. Make, share, go make again. Don’t get stuck.
Rick Rubin

As artists, we seek to restore our childlike perception: a more innocent state of wonder and appreciation.
Rick Rubin

The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of childhood into adulthood.
Thomas Huxley

Joan Didion said, “I write entirely to find out what I’m thinking, what I’m looking at, what I see and what it means.” In other words, you do not have to know what you want to write before you sit down with the pen, pencil, or keyboard.

It also applies to just about any science, art, craft, or whim. Start, and the project will unfold.

Never trust an idea fully formed. Bringing it to life will cause you more headaches, disappointment, and frustration than you can imagine. Plus, most importantly, you have closed the door to your imagination. When creating something new, you must allow for a plethora of unseen possibilities, paths, and potential to arise. That is a good thing.

What you don’t know or may not remember is that “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” Paul Coelho

I didn’t always know this. I wasn’t taught to embrace uncertainty. I was taught that God had my back. One of the first things I learned about God is that he is everywhere (Baltimore Catechism 1957, Lesson 2, Question 15), so I knew he was watching over me. But I was very naive as to how it all worked.

The older I got, the wiser I became. Sure, I still trusted in God, but I also learned to trust myself (after decades of questioning myself). Still not knowing the answers, I started doing what felt right, made sense, and would give me more confidence. Miraculously, each time I took a well-thought-out leap of faith, the Universe gifted me with an unexpected, unforeseen, and unbelievable gift. It took a few years of stunned disbelief for me to realize that this was how the “Lord works in mysterious ways.”

We all believe in different ways, different concepts of God, Gods, religion or lack thereof. To say, as Paul Coelho does, that the Universe is helping us covers us all, all bases and beliefs. I see it as an unseen force we will never understand or explain. But we can believe in it. We must believe it. Believing in it is the beginning of believing in ourselves. As I wrote a couple of weeks ago, Marianne Williamson said, “We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.”

Age brings wisdom. At 73, I feel old, wise, and comfortable enough in my own skin to share my thoughts with you. More so, because I’ve had a life, am living a life, that, in retrospect, all makes sense now, based on what I know and believe.

Take it or leave it. As Joan Didion said, I write to find out what I think. So let me ask you, what do you think?

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Quotes of the Week

In the universe there is an immeasurable, indescribable force which shamans call intent, and absolutely everything that exists in the entire cosmos is attached to intent by a connecting link.
Carlos Castaneda

Foolish then to search for wings? Inhuman even? But I dream of flight not to be as the angels are, but to rise above the smallness of it all.
Jeanette Winterson

He had trained himself for too long to respond to a context outside of himself, and had not trained himself to initiate and cultivate a context inside himself.
Anne Truitt

Our purpose is hidden in our joy, our inspiration, our excitement. As we act on what shows up in our life our purpose shows up.
James King

When you start using senses you’ve neglected, your reward is to see the world with completely fresh eyes.
Barbara Sher