Obscure facts interest me. And apparently, they interest many of my readers. Of course, the expression, “many of my readers” may seem like an oxymoron, but I digress. I’ve done some pieces about strange scientific facts and so decided to branch out and do some strange historical facts.

“How accurate are these?” you ask. I figure they are about as accurate as what you see on the nightly news. Keep in mind that, generally speaking, I wasn’t there to see this stuff actually go down. So, there’s my disclaimer. And here we go.

1: In 1913, Vienna was a hotbed for dictators. Stalin, Hitler, Trotsky, and Tito all spent some time there during that year.

They were no doubt drawn there by their love of Vienna sausages. I too like them okay, (the Vienna Sausages) but I don’t share other characteristics with them. And I’m being told that’s not at all true.

2: Richard the Lionheart reigned over England for 10 years and yet spent only seven months in England during that time.

He spent much of his time in Scotland playing golf during his reign. And I’m being told that’s bogus and to watch it.

3: Japanese samurai had some odd behaviors before going into battle. They painted their faces, teeth and horses. They also left a hole in their helmet so their souls could escape.

So, did some of them have bigger souls, or did one size fit all?

4: George Washington is called ‘The Father of Our Country,” but Genghis Khan is big daddy to the world. There is no record of how many kids he fathered, but estimates range from several hundred to over one thousand. Because of that DNA evidence suggests that one of every 200 people on earth is a descendent of his.

No wonder we have so many Khanmen and women today.

5: President Woodrow Wilson and his wife Edith kept sheep on the White House lawn during World War I.

Amazingly, they didn’t serve in his cabinet.

6: A laughing epidemic spread in the country of Tanganyika (now Tanzania) in 1962. It started in a girls’ school and spread to neighboring villages until thousands of people were affected.

I didn’t start writing for Medium until many years later, so I have no explanation.

7: Contrary to popular belief, Thomas Crapper did not invent the flushing toilet, nor is the word “crap” named after him. He did, however, popularize the flushing toilet. he enhanced with related devices such as the ball cock.

There’s joke there, but someone braver than me will have to write it.

8: In 1800, 40% of brides were pregnant when they got married.

Some really had to hurry because it’s fashion faux pas to wear white after labor day.

9: Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the telephone, decided the proper telephone greeting should be, “Ahoy!”

The only time I want to hear “Ahoy” is when it preceded by the word “Chips.”

10: Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini were both nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize in 1939. Joseph Stalin was nominated in 1945 and 1948.

That sort of takes some of the glow off a nomination.

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Over the years I’ve had a decent relationship with Spam, the alleged meat. While Spam may be the butt of jokes, it is not without its virtues as a food. For example, my wife makes a rice and Spam dish that is tasty. Plus, fried Spam with eggs is not without its merits.

As I mentioned previously, Spam has been the butt of jokes. For example, Monty Python memorialized Spam in a song by the same name. But beyond that, what do we really know about Spam? Let’s delve into Spam, figuratively. Here are some facts about Spam.

1: While we consider Spam a lower class of meat product in the United States, but that’s not the case throughout the world.

For example, in South Korea, Spam is considered a luxury. And that could be the case here in a few months.

2: Treet is a canned meat product similar to Spam.

Who would have thought there would have been a Spam knockoff.

3: Hormel changed the Spam recipe in 2009. Potato starch was added to improve the appearance of Spam in the can.

Personally, I’m more concerned about the appearance of Spam out of the can.

4: Residents of Hawaii eat more Spam per capita than any other state.

Hawaiians eat about 7 million cans of Spam per year. Maybe that’s the cost of living in paradise.

5: Going along with point 4, because of Spam’s popularity in Hawaii. it’s a favorite object of shoplifters.

In some cases, it’s actually stored behind the counter. It sounds like it’s just a step or two away from being a controlled substance.

6: Hormel, producer of Spam, also loves Hawaii. After the 2023 wildfires in Hawaii, Hormel gave inhabitants affected more than a million dollars in cash and product.

And no, I would ask if those victims hadn’t suffered enough.

7: There’s a Spam museum in Austin, Minnesota.

No doubt going there would be a Treet.

8: No, Spam isn’t good for eternity. Hormel recommends you eat your Spam by its best by date. Usually that date is 2–5 years into the future.

So, if your Spam is nearly five years old, you probably need to eat it, even if the world isn’t in a post-apocalyptic state.

9: During World War II, Spam had a mascot, Slammin’ Spammy. SS was an angry, gun-wielding pig.

I’m not sure how long Spammy survived after the war. I would hate to think Spammy wound up in a can of Spam after his war efforts were no longer needed.

10: During the 2000s there was a kosher Spam. It was part of the Israeli military’s field rations.

My first thought was, “how do you circumcise Spam?” but it turns out that it wasn’t made of chicken or beef, not pork. Maybe that’s why it’s kosher. It was phased out in 2008.

11: Not surprisingly, Spam isn’t particularly healthy.

Actually, the list of ingredients and nutritional values look like they were written by Stephen King.

12: During World War II, Hormel sent Hormel Girls around the country to promote Hormel products and the war efforts.

Hormel Girls sounds a lot better than Spam Girls.

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In both situations, the result can be taxing. In this case the guy might have an easier time dealing with the IRS. His best bet might be to determine who’s in the wrong, and then he can apologize and see if that helps.

Cartoon by Lambert-King

Bookkeeping for this particular type of business might be challenging. Do donors wonder about the ultimate result of their “contributions?” For what it’s worth, society seems to have no shortage of guys who distribute this “product” for free. Professional athletes and Elon Musk spring to mind.

Cartoon by Lambert-King

Here’s a guy having a hard time making the transition from Saturday night to Sunday morning. Maybe Saturday night made him feel the need to engage in another activity on Sunday morning.

Cartoon by Lambert-King

This is becoming more and more of a thing. And not just for touchdowns. Anymore, any type of decent play seems to be cause for a joyous celebration. Apparently, just doing your job is not enough in today’s NFL.

Cartoon by Lambert-King

The terminology is similar, but the meaning is very different. This reminds me of the play/movie ‘The Producers.” The whole thing was supposed to close the show, but the opposite proved true. Today that project would find some real supporters who didn’t realize it was satire.

Cartoon by Lambert-King

I see all sorts of ads talking about products supposed to improve a guy’s performance in the bedroom. Ironically, none of them seem to involve acting.

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The Cubs are in the middle of their second ten‑game winning streak of the season. They’ve done it while losing an entire tier of pitching talent: ace Cade Horton gone for the year, former ace Justin Steele stalled in his elbow‑surgery rehab, Matthew Boyd sidelined with a knee injury, and a bullpen held together with tape and hope.

And yet—win after win—the Cubs keep pushing. Why?

The starting pitching has held the line

Shota Imanaga has been a revelation after a bumpy 2025. He’s sitting at 4–2 with a 2.28 ERA and pitching like a frontline starter every time out. Trade addition Edward Cabrera has matched that steadiness with a 3–0 record and a 3.27 ERA.

The rest of the rotation has been “good enough,” which is all they’ve needed with Imanaga and Cabrera anchoring things.

A makeshift bullpen that keeps delivering

The bullpen has been a rotating cast of whoever’s healthy enough to throw, but Craig Counsell has navigated it well.

Ben Brown has been one of the unexpected anchors. After working as the Cubs’ Swiss Army knife in relief, he stepped in for a four‑inning start and delivered four scoreless frames. His role going forward will be one of the season’s more interesting subplots.

And then there’s the offense

Moises Ballesteros and Nico Hoerner carried the offense early. Even with recent cooling, their hot starts kept the Cubs afloat until the rest of the lineup found its rhythm.

Hoerner, in particular, was playing at an MVP level—mixing increased power with elite defense and banking a 2.0 WAR already.

Now that Pete Crow‑Armstrong, Ian Happ, and Seiya Suzuki are all swinging the bat well, the Cubs have turned into one of the best lineups in baseball.

Decisions are coming

The Cubs’ once‑deep farm system has thinned after callups and trades. Both Ian Happ and Seiya Suzuki are set to hit free agency after the season.

With Pete Crow‑Armstrong and Nico Hoerner already extended, the question becomes: do the Cubs lock in Happ and Suzuki as well? That answer may hinge on how far this surprising, resilient team can ride this wave.

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Sometimes scientists have a different take on this. Here’s one eating his sub in a carefree way. His description of what’s going on varies from that of his wife.

Gag by Lambert/ Cartoon by AI

Some discoveries take a while to reach their full potential. Of course, I’m a real fan of this useage of the wheel formation. In this particular cartoon, I’m not sure if it’s by coincidence or not, but AI did a great job of depicting the inventor of the doughnut.

Gag by Lambert/ Cartoon by AI

I’ve heard of different strains of viruses. How do they come about? Lack of exercise? Not warming up before engaging in sports? Maybe this is something science can look into.

Gag by Lambert/ Cartoon by AI

Maybe you can tell which group is which. In science we often hear about control groups, but it seems out of control groups don’t receive much attention. Maybe because out of control groups are prevalent in politics.

Gag by Lambert/ Cartoon by AI

It does seem like our curiosity regarding chickens is out of control. What is it about them that inspires so much curiosity. And how boring are our lives that we pay this much attention to chickens?

Gag by Lambert/ Cartoon by AI

You have to respect this guy’s ability to find a silver lining in a bad situation. I would think that personal hygiene would be an issue for these guys. I can also see where participating in sports might be an issue. But they do have that check thing going for them.

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Creative Commons: DonkeyHotey

I’ve done series of articles on a lot of subjects, states, planets, sports teams, etc. I’ve decided to start with another group of subjects, years. And I’m going to start with 1955. “Why 1955?” you ask. Well, that’s the year I was born. Of course that was the big event of the year, but I decided to see what was playing on the undercard.

These articles will feature news events from that year, including notable births and deaths. It won’t necessarily be the most notable news stories of the year but will center on things I find interesting and quirky. So, let’s get started.

1: Albert Einstein passed away on April 18, 1955.

He passed away in April, I was born in June. It’s the cosmic Circle of Genius. I know what you’re thinking, Lambert is no good at math. But hey, I don’t think Einstein tried his hand at writing humor, so we’re even,

2: Ray Kroc opened the first McDonald’s on April 15, 1955, in Illinois.

This led to the opening of Hamburger University in 1961. Today a degree from Hamburger University may be deemed even more prestigious than a degree from a Clown College or Trump University.

3: On April 5, 1955, Winston Churchill stepped aside as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom due to health concerns.

This marked the last time and old guy in power realistically assessed his health situation and acted accordingly.

4: Israel received four of the seven ancient Dead Sea scrolls on April 7, 1955.

It has been determined that Dead Sea scrolls are far more valuable than freshwater scrolls.

5: On July 18, 1955, Disneyland first opened its doors in Anaheim, California.

The opening was marred by reports of large rats in the theme park. Hold on, being told those large rats were Mickey and Minnie Mouse.

6: Rosa Parks refused to give her seat on a bus to a white person on this December 1, 1955. Ms. Parks was subsequently arrested

This led to the Montgomery Bus Boycott. Ultimately, the bus wound up in the Henry Ford Museum. This makes it the only bus I know that is in a museum.

On a more serious note, you might google Rosa Parks. That bus incident has a lot of layers.

7: Doctor Joyce Brothers won $64,000 on “The $64,000 Question” game show. She correctly answered a question about boxing.

She then encouraged people to talk things out rather than resorting to violence. Okay, I just threw that in there.

8: Harlow Curtice was the Time Man of the Year.

“Who’s that?” you ask. He was the head of GM. His leadership philosophy was “The best committee is the committee of one.” Which is also the leadership style of many dictators.

9: Marilyn Monroe starred in one of her more famous movies, “The Seven Year Itch” in 1955.

That was also the year her underwear made its big screen debut.

10: On April 12, 1955.Dr. Jonas Salk’s polio vaccine was declared safe and effective.

Subsequent charges that he actually created the polio virus in a lab in China were never confirmed. Wait, being told that never happened. I must be getting that confused with another vaccine.

11: Coca-Cola began selling its product in cans.

The original cans were made of steel. In 1965 the company covered to aluminum cans which made crushing them with your bare hands less impressive.

12: The Brooklyn Dodgers won their first world series on October 4, 1955.

This goes way back to a time when the World Series was played before Halloween.

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This is particularly true of the US government today. You get the feeling if an olive branch was extended it would be to attempt to poke out the eye of a political opponent.

Gags by Lambert- Cartoon by AI

This is probably one of the most asked questions. Also, “Have you seen my Keys?” ranks high up there. Further down the list comes stuff like, “What is the meaning of life?”

Gag by Lambert- Cartoon by AI

Sure, some financial advisors might talk about money management, but this guy has a different approach. By advising his client to adjust his lifestyle, his longevity and bank account can run out at the same time.

Gag by Lambert-Cartoon by AI

Regardless of how much of an environmentalist grandpa might be, I don’t think paper is an option here. His grandson is thinking of the future of the planet. And hopefully, grandpa’s as well.

Gag by Lambert-Cartoon by AI

Sometimes football players and coach can seem out of their element when the talk shifts from football. Actually, in both cases, both SECs might have cause for concern.

Gag by Lambert-Cartoon by AI

Here’s another example of spin. It’s where the financial world meets romance. And it will lead to substantial financial loss for the diversification.

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Ted Turner passed away today. Regardless of what your personal opinion of him is, he was one of a kind. And he did make my life more enjoyable. Let me explain.

Ted Turner came to my attention sometime around 1980. My wife and I were living in Antlers, Oklahoma. I was surfing through our meager supply of TV stations available on our cable system, and lo and behold, an Atlanta Braves baseball game! WTBS had come to our cable system!

That might not sound like much, but to me, when it came to entertainment, it was a big deal. WTBS, or as it’s now known, TBS, was easily the best entertainment available on our cable system. There were Atlanta Braves baseball games, Atlanta Hawks Basketball games, and Atlanta Flames hockey games.

In addition, there were syndicated comedies and some cool old movies. WTBS was a real nice addition to the Antlers, Oklahoma entertainment venue. Thank you, Ted Turner,

But there’s more to Ted Turner than that. Here are some things you might not have known about Ted Turner.

1: Ted Turner launched “The Goodwill Games.”

The idea was to give poor people access to good clothes an thrift stores. Sort of like “Hunger Games,” only with clothes instead of food.

Wait, being told that’s not right. Actually, the Goodwill Games were designed to promote good will among nations.

2: In Ted Turner’s early days as the Atlanta Braves owner, he was very hands on.

Sort of like the George Steinbrenner of the South, without as much success.

3: Ted has been married and divorced three times.

Notably, Turner was married to Jane Fonda for 10 years. That’s actually 20 years in non-celebrity years.

4: Turner is the second largest landowner in North America, owning two million acres.

Ted won’t be fenced in.

5: Some of Ted’s land is used to raise bison.

Give Ted a home where the bison roam.

6: Turner had an ongoing feud with Rupert Murdoch for years.

At one point, a drunken Turner challenged Murdoch to a fist fight. I’m thinking that would have made a lucrative pay per view event.

7: Ted’s father was Robert Edward Ted Turner II, a billboard magnate.

So, billboards were attracted to Ted’s father? Wait, being told I’m thinking of magnet, not magnate.

8: In addition to WTBS, Turner also founded the Cable News Network, aka CNN.

Not a fan of CNN? Well maybe you liked Fred Hickman and Nick Charles on CNN’s “Sports Tonight.” It was a nice alternative if you didn’t have ESPN.

9: Turner was suspended from Brown University in 1959 when a woman was discovered in his room.

I find the term “discovered” interesting. Was there an expedition looking for women? If a woman was found, did the searchers send up a flare? If a searcher discovered a woman, did they claim her? I feel I have digressed from the point.

10: Turner loves sailing. In 1977 he won the “America’s Cup.”

Turner was also inducted into the America’s Cup Hall of Fame in 1993. He was named to the National Sailing Hall of Fame in 2011. Popeye gave a particularly moving introduction speech on that occasion.

Whoops, that didn’t happen either.

11: In 1980 Tuner was named one of Playgirl’s 10 sexiest men.

Apparently, I was number 11. Again.

12: Ted has also done some modeling.

He was a model for the Dressed to Kilt charity in 2005. He wore a khaki kilt, wax jacket and knee-high brown leather boots. Unlike, Gisele, he didn’t have a horse walk. He did, however, look like he was walking a horse. Okay, maybe not.

13: Turner managed the Braves for one game on May 11, 1977.

They lost 2–1. Ted took over after the Braves had lost 16 games in a row. Ted no doubt figured he had nothing to lose. Excerpt more ballgames.

14: Ted’s divorce settlement with Jane Fonda was huge.

Included was a 2,500-acre ranch and $100 million in other assets. Jane calls Ted her “favorite ex-husband.” I can see why.

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The Twilight Zone was any many ways ahead of its time. The series creator, Rod Serling, wanted to address deep subjects that were often considered taboo by network censors. To do that Rod had to be really creative in his writing.

I still watch episodes of the series today, though not every episode is my cut of tea. I don’t care for the episodes dealing with the supernatural, but I find the ones dealing with science fiction or other genres to be interesting. So, here are some things you didn’t know about The Twilight Zone.

1: Rod Serling was not the original choice to be the show’s narrator.

CBS had their eye on someone with more “name recognition.” In other words: Orson Welles. Unfortunately for them, Welles came with a Hollywood-sized price tag — and, according to Serling, a delivery style that was a little too pompous.
Imagine anyone other than Serling welcoming you to “a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind.” Yeah — hard pass.

2: Rod Serling sold his rights to residuals for a lump sum payment.

The check was big, but not Twilight Zone big. In hindsight, Serling lost millions. You could say his profits… vanished into another dimension

3: The “Twilight Zone” was somewhat of a steppingstone to “Star Trek.”

William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, James Doohan, and George Takei were all “in the zone.”

4: “Nightmare at 20,000 Feet” starring William Shatner is one of the most famous of the episodes.

You might remember that’s the episode where airline passenger sees a gremlin on the wing of the plane. It seems the gremlin was part of an experimental sub-coach ticket plan.

5: George Takei was in the most controversial episode in the series.

Takei starred in the most controversial episode of the entire series — so much so that it was pulled from syndication until 2016.
As Takei might say: Oh my.

6: A Big Tall Wish” was the first TV show to feature a predominately black cast.

The first TV episode to feature a predominantly Black cast — and race wasn’t even the story. Serling just treated representation as normal.
Revolutionary, quiet, and purposeful. That’s The Twilight Zone.

7: While Serling wrote 94 of the 156 episodes of the series, he did farm some of the writing out to other gifted writers.

One of those writers was Charles Beaumont. Beaumont contracted a mysterious brain disease which aged him tremendously. He died at the age of 38 but looked like he was 95. It was like a tragic episode of The Twight Zone.

8: One of the episodes was considered a springboard for a sitcom, and even had a laugh track.

“Cavender Is Coming,” starring Carol Burnett, actually had a laugh track. In syndication, CBS quickly realized: nobody laughs in The Twilight Zone.
(Except maybe the aliens.)

9: How many dimensions are there?

When Rod did the first voiceover for the show he said, there was “a sixth dimension” to explore. When Rod was questioned about it, he was surprised to learn there were only four dimensions. Unless you count the musical group with Marilyn McCoo and Billy Davis Jr.

10: “To Serve Man” featured a James Bond villain and a memorable catch phrase.

The alien ambassador, Kanamit, was played by Richard Kiel who went on to play Jaws in a couple of James Bond movies. And while the phrase, “It’s a cookbook!” may not be, “It’s people!” it’s still memorable.

11: Dream a little dream.

Some of Rod Serling’s dreams ended up as episodes of The Twilight Zone.” It was really hard to tell if Rod was sleeping or working.

In the end, The Twilight Zone wasn’t just a TV show. It was Serling’s playground for morality tales, imagination, and just enough nightmare fuel to keep you thinking long after the credits rolled.

Submitted for your approval: one man, one show, and eleven strange facts from another dimension.

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Gag by Lambert/ Cartoon by AI

Fred was probably looking for Nassau but had a hearing issue. He not only not in the right place, but he was also there at the wrong time. Maybe it was some sort of time travel thing.

It’s All About the Optics

Gag by Lambert: Cartoon by AI

Even barbarians can be concerned with branding. I actually asked for Atilla the Hun from AI, but I think I got a Viking. Regardless, the point remains. Or maybe Attila cast a wider net than I realized.

And that hasn’t changed

Gag by Lambert/ Cartoon by AI

And bugs aren’t the only unsavory ingredient in hot dogs. It seems that producers are allowed a certain level of rat dropping to find their way into their product. Seems like there’s a song in there somewhere. Something like, “One Rat Dropping Over the Line.” Or maybe not.

A question that raises ethical and practical concerns

Gag by Lambert/ Cartoon by AI

This seems to be somewhat of a trend. There are some questions about the long-term welfare of the child and health concerns for both mother and child. Bad reasons to have a child could be a subject for another post.

What’s in a name?

Gag by Lambert/ Cartoon by AI

We can tell which one of these felines is the thinker. It seems like thinking is synonymous with worrying. Sometimes “courage” and lack of awareness go hand in hand.

The mother of invention

Gag by Lambert/ Cartoon by AI

After this, Wolfgang could at least know what time a woman was brushing him off. I’m guessing Wolfgang would have preferred a different outcome. A lack of romantic success led to Wolfgang having time on his hand. Literally.

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As a longtime White Sox fan, I’ve been conditioned to expect the worst. It’s not pessimism — it’s muscle memory.

So when the Sox signed Japanese slugger Munetaka Murakami, my first thought wasn’t optimism. It was: What do the other 29 teams know that we don’t?

That’s just how this works on the South Side.

But here we are. Murakami is leading Major League Baseball in home runs, and for once, it doesn’t look like the White Sox are the punchline. It almost looks like they knew what they were doing.

I don’t want to overreact, but this has all the markings of the blindest of hogs — namely Jerry Reinsdorf — stumbling into an acorn.

And there’s more, which frankly makes me uneasy.

The Pitching Looks… Legitimate?

Longtime Sox fans know this is where things usually fall apart. But at the moment, the rotation is doing something unusual — it’s resembling a Major League rotation.

Rookie lefty Noah Schultz has been as good as advertised. Davis Martin has been lights out, and Sean Burke is suddenly pitching like a guy who expects to stay in the rotation.

Even Erick Fedde — who hasn’t exactly dominated everywhere else — has turned into something resembling a reliable starter.

I’m not saying this is a staff that strikes fear into opponents. I’m just saying it’s a staff that no longer strikes fear into its own fan base, which is a step forward.

Granted, not everything has gone right. Anthony Kay has been less than scintillating, carrying an ERA north of six into his latest start. But compared to some recent Sox pitching staffs, that barely registers as a crisis.

Out of the bullpen, there are actual signs of life. Brad Hudson has been a find, and Grant Taylor looks like a closer straight out of central casting.

And then there’s Seranthony Domínguez, who got off to a rough start — at one point looking less like a reliever and more like Anthony Hopkins preparing for a demanding role — but has since settled down to rack up saves.

Help Is on the Way (Which Usually Means Trouble)

Center field has been a problem for the Sox for what feels like several administrations, but Braden Montgomery is tearing up Double-A pitching with an OPS north of 1.000.

Of course, White Sox history suggests this means one of three things:

1. He’ll be rushed

2. He’ll be mishandled

3. Or, in a bold organizational twist, both

On the pitching side, Hagen Smith is striking out more than 13 batters per nine innings in Charlotte and could find his way to Chicago sooner rather than later.

Again, this is all encouraging. Which is exactly why it feels suspicious.

A Strange New World

For the moment, the White Sox look… competent.

They have a legitimate power bat in Murakami. The rotation is holding together. The bullpen isn’t an automatic adventure. There’s even help coming from the farm system.

In other words, things are lining up in a way that longtime Sox fans don’t entirely trust.

The future actually looks promising.

Which raises the obvious question:

How will Jerry Reinsdorf manage to butcher this?

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Creative Commons: Super-Nerd

Over the years the Bears have had an eclectic bunch of coaches, most of whose work I grew to dislike. I liked Mike Ditka during the Bears heyday during the 1980s but grew disenchanted with him as time wore on. I loved the 1985 Bears, but that group of players should have won more than one Super Bowl. Marc Trestman started off fast but quickly completely lost the team.

The Bears coach that inspired the least confidence was Abe Gibron. Watching Abe confer with starting QB, Bobby Douglas wasn’t exactly faith-inspiring. Actually, I thought Gibron was to head coaching what Douglas was to quarterback play, a square peg in a round hole. Or in Gibron’s case a round peg in a square hole. Regardless, it was a poor fit.

In addition to guys that stand out and not necessarily in a good way, are some run-of-the-mill guys like Neil Armstrong and Jack Pardee. Over the years I’ve also taken note of other NFL coaches I like that coached other teams. Most of these guys are good to excellent coaches, but sometimes other factors came into play on this list. Look it over and let me know your favorite NFL coaches who coached teams other than your favorite NFL team. And here we go.

10: Bill Walsh. Bill Walsh was the coach of the 49ers during the 1980s. Walsh just seemed like a smart guy who wasn’t overbearing. That’s the type of guy I want coaching my team. He seemed to coach a sophisticated offense. Of course, having Joe Montana didn’t hurt. I’m sure Abe Gibron would have seemed smarter if he had coached Joe Montana instead of Bobby Douglas.

9: Marv Levy. Marv got the Bills to four consecutive Super Bowls and won none of them. Still getting to four Super Bowls is a great accomplishment and Levy comported himself with class. I’d be fine with a coach like Levy.

8: Don Shula. Shula coached the only perfect season in NFL history. In his day, Don was the prototype of what a great NFL head coach should be.

7: Bud Grant. Like Marv Levy, Bud Grant also made it to four Super Bowls but won none. I like the way Grant coached discipline and controlling emotions. Unlike other coaches, Grant didn’t see the need to work around the clock. I kind of like that.

6: Vince Lombardi. Lombardi makes this list because of his discipline and attention to detail. Because of those qualities, Lombardi coached winners. I don’t know how Vince would have fared in today’s game, but he was the greatest coach of his time.

5: Don Coryell. Watching the Chargers during the days of Air Coryell was a treat. It was something a Bears fan could hardly imagine.

4: George Allen. George is the guy that should have followed George Halas as head coach instead of Jim Dooley. Allen worked with veterans known as “The Over the Hill Gang” with the Redskins with much success.

3: Tom Landry. Remember The Captain of Captain and Tennille fame? Remember how a lot of his personality came from his hat? That kind of reminds me of Tom Landry. Tom was coach of the Cowboys when they really were America’s team. His teams were innovative on defense and dynamic on offense. But mostly, Tom came across as classy, a commodity that is much rarer in today’s game.

2: Hank Stram. Hank was a great coach, but what gets in this high on this list was the way the Chiefs would “matriculate the ball down the field.” No team matriculated the ball like Stram’s Chiefs did.

1: Bum Phillips. Bum was an excellent football coach, but he was also down-to-earth and extremely entertaining. When Bum was asked about Earl Campbell’s inability to complete a mile run, Bum replied, “When it’s first and a mile, I won’t give the ball to him.” While on the Johnny Carson show Bum said he took his wife on road trips because she was too ugly to kiss goodbye. You don’t see that type of humor coupled with political incorrectness anymore. Bum was one of a kind.

So, who are your favorite NFL head coaches?

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I had a pretty good day for an old guy.

Now that I’m older, a good day isn’t quite what it was when I was young — but still, I’ll take it.

Looking for a good day when you’re old is like panning for gold (inadvertent poetry). You’ve got to sift through a lot of debris to find what you’re after, but it’s worth the effort.

A Good Day at the Nursing Home

My mother is 85 years old and lives in a nursing home. I went to see her today, and she was in a good mood — possibly because I brought her something from the bakery.

I also picked up a little something from the same establishment for myself and thereby freed some of my endorphins.

So, my day was off to a good start.

The Joy of Driving and Oldies

Driving home, I got to rock out to some great oldies. Of course, after I’d gone a few miles, I realized I still had my turn signal on — but still, driving and listening to the radio was a nice little respite.

It was like being young again. Except for that turn signal thing.

Not to Be Gross, But…

It seems like seniors spend a lot of time talking about bathroom issues. There’s this constant battle between diarrhea and constipation.

Well, today I had a great bathroom day.

It was one of those times when, after taking care of business, you immediately want to step on the scale to measure your success.

Suffice it to say, my wife was unimpressed with the news.

I Won a Debate with My Wife

We were watching TV when I saw a guy with a buzz cut that revealed a serious widow’s peak. The troops on the flanks were in full retreat.

I mentioned to my wife that the guy’s hairline looked similar to mine. She disagreed. I pulled back my hair, she looked, and said:

You’re right.

Steak Dinner and a Smile

To top it off, my wife cooked us a nice steak dinner.

Afterward, I sat back and thought yeah, that was a pretty good day — for an old guy.

Getting older isn’t always easy, but days like this remind me there’s still gold in the pan… if you’re willing to look.

And if you’re lucky, there’s steak at the end.

So, what constitutes a good day for you?

Amazon.com: Trickle Down: A Blue Collar Cartoon Look At Ecomonics eBook : Lambert, Larry, King, Jerry: Books

We all have little things that make our blood pressure tick up a notch. Some are common to humanity; others are uniquely ours. Here are a few of mine — file under first-world irritations.

1. People who speak about themselves in the third person.

What’s with that? The only good reason I can think of to refer to yourself in the third person is illustrated perfectly in that cartoon of the guy in bankruptcy court. If a bill collector asks, “Are you Larry Lambert?” the proper reply is, “Who wants to know?” If it’s a debt collector, you say, “Larry’s in Florida. You might want to check there.”

2. People who get upset when you mispronounce their funky name
I get it.

Everyone wants their name pronounced correctly. But if your name is spelled like a Scrabble rack, don’t get furious when people try and fail. Save that energy for whoever gave you the name.

3. People who don’t flush.

Who are these people? Leaving a public restroom unflushed should carry a fine or a mandatory cleanup shift. Community service — with gloves.

4. People who honk in the drive-thru
Yes, because honking will absolutely make the chicken sandwich cook faster. Genius move.

5. Unnecessary meetings

Bosses who call meetings to figure out why we’re not getting more done might want to start by… not calling meetings.

6. People who recline their airplane seats

It’s like they’re saying, “I don’t have enough space, so I’ll just take some of yours.” Their head ends up practically in your lap, which does make it easier to choke them — but that would be wrong. Probably.

7. People who blare their car music

When your car stereo doubles as a neighborhood alarm system, something’s gone wrong. The irony? They’ll be deaf soon enough.

8. People who are habitually late

It always seems like another way of saying, “My time matters more than yours.” Spoiler: it doesn’t.

9. Dog owners who don’t pick up after their dogs

If it’s beneath you to clean up after your pet, maybe pet ownership isn’t for you. Years ago, a neighbor’s giant dog liked to use my yard as its personal outhouse. One day I caught it mid-squat and yelled, disrupting delivery. The owner got mad at me. Incredible.

10. Cashiers who chat with a friend while you’re waiting

Read the room, people. It’s a power play — just not a very powerful one.

11. People who use the word “literally” wrong
It literally drives me crazy. And yes, that might actually be the correct use.

We all have our petty peeves, and mine could probably fill volumes. But maybe recognizing them means I’m one step closer to enlightenment. Or one headline away from, “George Loses It in Drive-Thru Line.” Either way, I’ll call that growth.

Amazon.com: Trickle Down: A Blue Collar Cartoon Look At Ecomonics eBook : Lambert, Larry, King, Jerry: Books

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I’ve been getting quotes on a new heat/air unit. One dealer asked if I had gotten their email. I said no and thought it might be in the spam file of my computer. That email wasn’t there, but what was there was amazing, and possibly life changing. Like Smalls, my spam filter has been killing me.

Fabulous wealth has been kept from me

Some time back i mentioned that some royal from Nigeria had 18 million dollars waiting for me. I still haven’t come up with the money to process that transaction, but it turns out the Nigerian Royal Family was really shortchanging me.

I had much more money in my spam filter.

It seems the US government had $28 million waiting for me. The UN had $2.5 million also ready for me to claim. Apparently, all I have to do is verify my personal information, bank account number, and possibly the name of my first pet.

So, I don’t have to count on a foreign government. I can count on the government of the United States to treat me just as well as the Nigerian Royal Family does.

As for that offer from the UN, it’s touching that despite the financial woes of that organization, they thought of me.

Other offers were deemed inconsequential

The spam filter also had offers to help me improve my audience and improve my seo ranking but with all the money I have coming to me, why worry about that?

Sorry guys, you’re too late. This eagle has taken flight!

And other types of offers were also in there

It seems that some alleged babes also wanted to meet me. I suspect it’s because they’ve seen my profile picture on Medium. Of course, a guy can’t be too careful. It’s possible they’re just gold diggers and are after the money I have coming to me.

Too bad for them I’m just not gullible.

And I’ve also been happily married for 50 years, so there’s that.

So, the bottom line, check your spam filter. Your fortune could be waiting.

Amazon.com: Trickle Down: A Blue Collar Cartoon Look At Ecomonics eBook : Lambert, Larry, King, Jerry: Books

Many marriages suffer from a lack of communication. Sometimes thoughts aren’t conveyed because the right words aren’t used, or the words aren’t articulated well. Maybe a speech therapist would help in some cases. And remember, the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plains.

Gag by Lambert/ Drawn by AI

Fred will never feel the exhilaration of a runner’s high, but he does seem to be getting the satisfaction of a napper’s peace.

Gag by Lambert/Drawn by AI

Based on my experience, I’d take Yelp reviews, or pretty much any review with a grain of salt. I know those reviews, in some case, can and have been manipulated. The term for that is “astroturfing.”

Gag by Lambert/ Drawn by AI

Some people crave recognition no matter what they have to do to attain it. Here, ‘Number 6” is happy to be recognized and singled out of a crowd after perhaps a lifetime of anonymity.

Gag by Lambert- Cartoon by AI

This is a throwback to the 50 sand 60s when guys used to always be drinking, smoking, and shooting the breeze with each other. Back then the biggest influencers seemed to belong to the alcohol family. And lots of guys were influenced by members of that family.

Gag by Lambert/Cartoon by AI

At a certain point, what is age appropriate. It’s like saying somebody looks good for the age when they’re in their 90s. If I make into my 90s, I’ll feel like I look good for my age if I’m above ground.

So, these are examples of cartoon ideas I’ve had in the past, but for various reasons, never could get drawn up. While an actual cartoonist would probably enhance the cartoon, at least with AI they’ll see the light of day.

Look for a number of cartoon books in the future. I’ve actually had a few in the past.

Amazon.com: Trickle Down: A Blue Collar Cartoon Look At Ecomonics eBook : Lambert, Larry, King, Jerry: Books

If you’ve enjoyed what I’ve written, how about buying me some coffee? https://ko-fi.com/larryelambert89220

The last month or so has been a whirlwind for me and my family. We moved back to Clearwater, FL. to be near our youngest son. Posting on Medium has been a challenge. During this time, I’ve made a couple of writing decisions.

I’m shifting from primarily writing to much more emphasis on publishing. I’ll be concentrating on creating books and Tee-shirts. I’ll still be posting on Medium as I’ll want to promote my stuff and Medium has given me a base for that. Plus, I really do appreciate the support Medium readers have given me over the years. and I’ve come to another decision. I’m going to use AI in my publications and tee-shirt business.

AI is coming for all of us

That’s a fact. How it will change our lives remains to be seen. For years I’ve had cartoon ideas I wanted to get drawn up but was unable to get a cartoonist to take them on. With AI, I can have them drawn up almost instantly. Is it as good as having a cartoonist draw them up? That depends on the cartoonist. For example, AI is not nearly as good as the cartoonist I work with the most, Jerry King. But it is as good or better than some cartoonists I’ve worked with.

When you’re a gag writer working with other cartoonists schedules. AI gives me much more freedom and flexibility.

How does a gag writer work with AI? Pretty much the same way a gag writer works with a cartoonist. You write the gag and have AI do its thing. For example, I’ve wanted this gag drawn up for a while now. I think it exemplifies how watching some “news shows” can make a person dumber. I could write that, but I think adding a visual element enhances the point.

Limitations of working with AI

Generally speaking, markets that accept AI generated cartoons are pretty limited. medium and Substack allow it and if you’re doing your own project such as a book, your good to go. As far as I know.

There is some thought that using AI diminishes your brand. I actually got that from AI.

Of course, as a gag writer you usually get anywhere from 25% to 50% of the take. And often lose control of your material. That’s not good for your brand either.

Interestingly, it seems that most musical artists use AI to varying degrees in their creative process.

Look for a number of cartoon books in the future. I’ve actually had a few in the past.

If you’ve enjoyed what I’ve written, how about buying me some coffee? https://ko-fi.com/larryelambert89220

Are you good at trivia? Are you good at Jeopardy? How good would you be if the questions were being asked in 2054? Let’s find out. This trivia quiz is like Nostradamus meets the late, great Alex Trebek. With no further ado, let’s play Futuristic Trivia 2054!

1: At 97 this man was the oldest actor to ever win the Best Actor award.

Harrison Ford. In 2038 Harrison won the award for his performance in Indiana Jones and the Nursing Home of Doom. As usual, Harrison performed all his own stunts including feeding himself and taking care of his own bathroom needs.

At the time of the award, Ford was working on another project close to his heart, Blade Shuffler.

Ford created quite a stir when he landed on a nearby golf course while attempting to fly himself to the ceremony.

2: On August 28, 2040, presidential candidate, Otis Schrump, made news by doing this in a debate.

Schrump shocked the nation when he gave a direct answer to a question. When asked how he was going to deliver on the bill of goods he promised, Schrump responded, “I have no idea.”

3: This man set a record by scoring 132 points in the 2031 NBA All Star Game.

Clarence “Basketball” Jones. Jones led the West to a 321–299 win over the East. A 46-year-old LeBron James came out of retirement and added 82 points. The game was the death nell for the NBA All Star has even the NRA decried the amount of shooting going on.

4: Desperate to end their five-war losing streak, the United States declared war against this nation in 2029.

Ishtar. Despite the fact Ishtar is indeed a fictional nation, Fox News viewing Americans were proud to embrace the victory. Many wanted Dustin Hoffman and Warren Beaty convicted of war crimes.

When confronted with the fact Ishtar is a fictional nation, these same Americans replied, “So were the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. What’s your point?”

5: Senator Strom Foghorn caught flack for using campaign money to invest in this tropical paradise.

Fairbanks, Alaska. Alaska is now known as, “The Florida of the North.”

6: This NBA star became the first player in league history to be paid one billion dollars not to play for the team he was under contract with.

Shamus Anderson. Shamus signed a five-year, five-billion-dollar deal with the Boston Celtics in 2032 but became disenchanted with management when an assistant coach suggested he get his butt back on defense.

Anderson said the karma in Boston was bad and was affecting his mental health. The Celtics decided to let Anderson stay home and cash his checks rather than risk alienating potential free agents from signing with the franchise.

7: Political newcomer, Jarvis Chance was the victim of this unusual attack by political opponents in a 2036 gubernatorial race.

Opponents accused Chance of appearing in blackface at a party during his college days. The attack proved unsuccessful when Chance pointed out he was black and that was his actual face. Strangely, opponents still used this life of attack.

8: This 2030 political slogan proved to be one of the most unsuccessful in political history.

“Johnson, for the discriminating voter,” was initially thought to be a subtle appeal to highbrow voters. When Johnson’s affiliation with the KKK surfaced, things went downhill.

9: In 2048, the US Supreme Court in a landmark decision, made these records public.

In a 27–24 decision that broke along all five party lines, the court ruled that anybody still alive and who cared, could take a peek at Donald Trump’s tax returns.

10: The New York Post won a Nobel for journalism for this action in 2035.

The Post killed a story featuring nude pictures of an 81-year-old Madonna. In an attempt to revive her sagging career, Madonna shopped nude pictures of herself to various outlets. In a rare act of benevolence, The Post bought the pictures and then killed the story.

So, how did you do? There may be more installments of this feature in the future.

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As I’ve mentioned before, I lived in Oklahoma City for a number of years. One thing that struck me about the area was the large number of panhandlers. I saw a number of different techniques employed. Some impressed me more than others.

By the way, not all panhandlers aren’t the same. Do I think all panhandlers are scan artists? No. Though no doubt some are. Have some people fallen through the cracks in society? Yes. With that disclaimer, we’ll consider some observations about panhandling and give the appropriate awards.

The award for the worst performance by a panhandler goes to…

The woman who approached me outside of a McDonald’s. As I pulled up and got out of the vehicle, I could see her putting on her game face. The woman appeared to be pregnant. I say that because some panhandlers have been known to fake a pregnancy.

Anyway, I saw I was in her sights and felt running wasn’t a viable option, so I braced myself for verbal impact. Her story was simple. She was pregnant and said her boyfriend was abusive.

I’ve got to say I wasn’t impressed by the story or performance. This lady needed a better scriptwriter. Personally, her story indicated she needed more help than a couple of bucks for a Big Mac. Asking someone to pay for your bad choices seems like a poor sales pitch.

As for performance, I found watching her prep for her performance detracted from the performance itself. It’s almost like listening to an opera singer warming up.

And the award for the best use of a prop by a panhandler…

The guy who had a dog with him. I admit, I felt bad for the dog. I thought the man was robbing the dog of his dignity. Then I thought that maybe I had things completely wrong. Maybe he was extremely conscientious in training his dog.

Perhaps this guy was teaching his dog to beg by using the method technique. I just hope he doesn’t decide to teach his dog to play dead.

The award for best use of a physical disability goes to….

This award goes to the guy who used his toeless foot to enhance his panhandling prowess. The guy had a chair by a red light had his leg crossed to give drivers stopped by the stoplight to observe his plight. Of course, in his case, no shoe, no sock, no problem.

Still, I don’t want to be judgmental, after all, who wants to be Lack Toes Intolerant?

And finally, the award for the best sign goes to….

The guy, or guys who had a sign that said, “Why Lie? I Need a Beer.” Actually, I have an acquaintance who gave the bearer of that sign a couple of bucks. While I might not be impressed, it is a welcome departure from the generally sad stories most panhandlers display.

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Cartoon by Jerry King

Of course, the downside of getting rid of these phones is they can double as dressings rooms for superheroes. It’s interesting that Superman used a phone booth whereas Wonder Woman just spun really fast. Made she saw change was on the horizon.

Cartoon by Jerry King

While it might not be efficient, this delivery system can also be used to transport livestock a la Monty Python.

Cartoon by Jerry King

I actually heard some classical music while I was on hold while calling my insurance company the other day. I recognized it because it was also used on a Buggs Bunny cartoon. That’s actually the venue where I absorb culture.

Cartoon by Jerry King

And it’s a relic from the past I miss. It was amazing how many people can fit into a car. Assuming you have some of them in the trunk.

Cartoon by Jerry King

And the sad thing is, even if it did, he wouldn’t know how to use them. He’d have to ask the young guy.

Cartoon by Jerry King

The generation gap has extended to our appliances, with some of the same dynamics. I will say if the young guy would listen, he might could learn something.

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Written by Larrylambert

11.5K followers

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You probably don’t know my name, but have likely seen my work. I’ve written for numerous syndicated cartoon strips and my gags have appeared in national pubs.

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