Disappointing Day: Definitely Do Not Recommend (In the Theater)

Is Spielberg Washed? Has he joined the league of former greats who now need to retire? He’d be in good company along with Ridley Scott and Francis Ford Coppola. Unless Gladiator II (2024) and Megalopolis (2024) are considered peak cinema and I didn’t get the memo. Scorsese, you aren’t far behind. We didn’t forget about The Irishman (2019).

As hard as it is to say, Steven Spielberg might actually be washed up. The brilliantly gifted, technically skilled, ludicrously talented, iconic, legendary, visionary genius that is Steven Spielberg might be past his prime.

After watching Disclosure Day (2026), I think it may be time for the massively famous, popular, influential, accomplished, and crazy profitable director to hang it up. He’s still a master of technique - each shot and every scene is crafted with expert precision. The stylistic and creative choices for storytelling? Well, some things aren’t Always (1989) going to stay the same.

Def Rec is, of course, ultimately about movie and television recommendations but not necessarily a review blog. After my screening of Spielberg’s latest film about propaganda and worldwide secrecy, I made the unfortunate decision to publicly declare that I do not advise watching Disclosure Day… in the theater. This is a “wait for streaming” situation.

Since I do think the movie is worth watching at least once, I will keep spoilers to a minimum (more on those later).

Like many other moviegoers, the prospect of Spielberg revisiting sci-fi was exceptionally intriguing. The movie’s marketing kept the story’s details on a need-to-know basis, adding to the fascination. The ad campaign’s subterfuge worked on me and I was sold and seated. Leading to my viewing, I tried to avoid any spoilers or learn any additional aspects beyond the little I already knew. Still, I caught glimpses of comments and headlines proclaiming Day to, well, be a bit of a letdown. Despite my determination to not let any outside opinions sway my experience with the Emily Blunt-starring spectacle, I entered my local theater of choice with a hint of apprehension. I didn’t want someone else’s evaluation to make my decision for me about how I felt. That twinge of worry, though, was like “Bruce” the shark from Jaws (1975) in its pursuit of devouring my joy.

To the naysayers of this motion picture, I must acquiesce and confirm that the lackluster is real. Long story short, this story was too long. You’re sitting through the entire picture waiting for the big result of the reveal. The final ten or so minutes of the runtime is basically where the movie should’ve started. The buildup hinges on what happens when the top-secret deets get broadcast across the planet. The footage and info presented in super dramatic fashion does indeed shake up the global status quo. But this is where the adventure ends. Well, it ends with a fairly corny message. Scratch that - this film is downright preachy. The fallout of the mass reporting is basically the promise of the premise yet it serves as the climax instead. The main meat of Day feels like a prequel that isn’t entirely crucial but nice to have for those who want it.

Here’s where I’ll delve into a tad more spoilers:

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So, it’s aliens. Josh O’Connor plays Dr. Daniel Kellner who managed to steal nearly a century’s worth of confidential UFO-related content from a clandestine organization. How did this data-driven dude walk out the door with a backpack full of precious thumb drives and alien artifacts? Well, he can speak “math,” so… In other words, I don’t know. There’s a lot about this movie I didn’t care for but I do admit that its opening sequence where Kellner attends (under duress) a pro wrestling match immediately qualifies it to become one of the greatest feature films of all time. The other movie that started out with grapplers in the squared circle? Highlander (1986) - it is because of this similarity I can’t be a total hater.

Kellner and his ex-nun girlfriend Jane Blankenship (Eve Hewson) rather easily dodge the super secret agency troopers while the evil leader Noah Scanlon (Colin Firth) hunts them down using dangerous alien mind control tech. Meanwhile, the, er, interestingly named Margaret Fairchild (Emily Blunt), a local Kansas City weather reporter, can speak any (and I mean any) language as well as subdue anyone by appearing as a loved one or sharing some private secret that no one else would know. Kellner and Fairchild are linked because they were both abducted together as children and experimented on by the aliens. I’m glad probing was not brought up.

The CGI for the aliens is atrocious. The way the grays “present” as animals looks comically fake. The projection as wildlife is said to put kids at ease. They appear in a kid’s bedroom like in Monsters, Inc. (2001), except these woodland creatures are way scarier. Spielberg made the computer animation of dinosaurs look real in Jurassic Park (1993) but a little Area 51 extraterrestrial looked like a cheap cartoon here. What does the badly rendered fox say? Probably “kill me…”

Despite the story details I have already disclosed, I’ll refrain from providing a full breakdown because I really do suggest you give it a stream eventually. Still, you ought to know going in that the messaging and imagery used in this film is annoying. In the aforementioned wrestling sequence that kicks off the film, the nefarious gatekeepers of the alien footage use the wrestling match’s raucous public setting to proceed with an exchange. Kellner returns the stolen data and otherworldly materials and he gets his boo back. The henchmen and women pressuring Kellner are dressed so you’ll know they aren’t trustworthy. One woman wears a red ball cap with an American flag on it. Call me a conspiracy theorist who is watching a movie about cover ups, but I think that if you put someone in a red hat in this manner, you know what you’re doing. Maybe I just find any overtly political insertion in fiction to be obnoxious.

I’ll say a positive thing of this Day - it could’ve really leaned in harder on religion but it chose to be way more polite than I was expecting.

The final sequence of the film has a poorly animated alien (who really should’ve been E.T.) whisper some arithmetic-laden gibberish to Kellner who translates the message to Fairchild. The weather lady-turned-news anchor states the one-word communication to the world: “Listen.” It is a cringe-inducing, not-so-subtle plea from the “Hollywood Elites™️” to get us Joe Schmoes to be empathetic and play nice with each other. Keep in mind, we don’t know much about the alien visitors/prisoners other than I guess they “bring us love” not unlike Mr. Burns’ inebriated message from The Simpsons episode “The Springfield Files” (1997).

The way the aliens speak in this film is utterly ridiculous. In an early trailer, a moment that is supposed to give us goosebumps instead gave me the giggles. Blunt regurgitates what is intended to be alien talk in a series of clicks, guttural belches, and scatting. I knew as soon as I heard it that there was going to be trouble. My curiosity got the better of me so I braved the Seinfeld theme song beatboxing and endured adequacy at its finest. If we’re being honest, the Spielberg warning signs have been there long before he officially became a boomer.

War of the Worlds (2005), Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008), The Fabelmans (2022), and The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997) - when Spielberg wins, he wins so big it changes culture and society itself. But, as indicated by this list of misses, when Spielberg strikes out, it’s a big disappointment.

The *other* Disclosure Day screenwriter David Koepp scribed such big picture classics like Mission: Impossible (1996), Spider-Man (2002), Snake Eyes (1998), and Jurassic Park. But he is also credited with The Lost World: Jurassic Park, Jurassic Park: Rebirth (2025), Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. The real message here is they all can’t be winners, but the hit/miss ratio is also nothing new.

Disclosure Day is ultimately a “what could have been” indulgence, but more importantly, it’s a sign that this should be Spielberg’s last close encounter.

Def Rec Podcast coming soon!

Books by Jon McBrine

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For over the top performances and being kind of a weird dude in general, it could only be Jared. Mr. Leto has graced screens from an early age, delivering characters that range from young and in a fight club to finding infinite possibilities as *a* Nemo. Mr. Nobody (2009) is, in a word, trippy. Fight Club (1999) is a classic. But what are Jared Leto’s roles that stand out as the absolute craziest, most out there, and unexpected choices? Urban Legend (1998) may indeed be legendary (depending on who you ask), and Requiem For A Dream (2000) is critically acclaimed, but I’m talking about big swings that leave you questioning Leto’s sanity. Or rather, the mental stability of motion picture studios that still rely on his drawing power to make some box office bank.

For this Top Three list about putting the “meth” in method acting, I’ll dive into the broad and bonkers cinematic world of Jared Leto. Joke(r)s aside, I am genuinely a fan of his band Thirty Seconds To Mars and have legitimately enjoyed much of his acting. From high school drama in My So-Called Life (1994-1995), the yuppie fever dream that is American Psycho (2000), to his cornrow criminal caper in Panic Room (2002), Leto has committed his all to every project. For the trio of movies I’m focusing on, though, the characters have to be big and baffling. I have combed through his eclectic IMDb page and determined the best of the worst of Jared Leto’s powerful personifications. Each of these acting outings have laid on thick makeup and prosthetics, upped the ante with costume outlandishness, and popped with peculiar personalities.

Honorable mentions: Jared Leto going for it is truly a spectacle and when it comes to grandiose portrayals, House of Gucci (2021) blessed us with his take on Paolo Gucci. Leto’s design of this emulation of a real life guy resulted in a strange combination of Ron Jeremy, Waluigi, and a dash of Tony Clifton. The dedication to really making this Gucci black sheep look and sound like a cartoonish loser is greatly appreciated by me.

Tron: Ares (2025) presented us with a sentient computer program person. Gotta love the hologram hustle. Did this count as an A.I. allegory? I don’t know, but I liked that that living digital entity would choose the long hair and beard combo.

Blade Runner 2049 (2017) was another example of Leto in a fantastical futuristic legacy (and belated) sequel. Niander Wallace is sight impaired and a tad eccentric and is all in on replicant reproduction. Maybe he could’ve created Ares! Like Hulkamania, my imagination is running wild.

I’ll break down the Top Three Best of the Worst (and back to Best) roles of Jared Leto. And then I’ll reveal which is the number one pick I recommend.

If you agree with me or think I’m a psycho, let me know in the comments - or visit jonmcbrine.com to find all the ways to contact me and make some recommendations of your own.

The Worst (Best?) of Jared Leto

Number Three: Skeletor - Masters of the Universe (2026)

Full disclosure: as of this writing, I have not seen the 2026 Masters of the Universe movie. Why include it on a list intended to showcase significant performances? Well, despite Leto’s appearance being heavily manipulated and altered by CGI effects, him playing Skeletor is the latest in a long line of wonderful Jared-brand wackiness.

Director Travis Knight’s rendition of the enduring He-Man franchise features Leto as the evil blue-skinned wannabe dictator of the fantasy realm of Eternia. The aforementioned computer animation and augmented visual effects essentially replaced much of the actual actor. Determined to make his skull-faced villain as nefarious as possible during shooting, Leto was said to have smeared blood-like makeup over his face and chest. Whether or not it added to his role’s intimidation and performance with scene partners, it beats having a dead pig around (more on that later).

I have mixed feelings about the MOTU trailer, but simply knowing that Leto is still up to his avant garde antics warms my heart.

Reason to Rec: If you grew up a fan of the original cartoon, you’re sure to enjoy this latest big screen toy commercial.

Number Two: Morbius - Morbius (2022)

It’s time. The time to morb. It is, in fact, morbin’ time.

Sony’s then-vigilant pursuit of MCU-adjacent solo Spider-Man villain movies produced an icon for all the wrong reasons. Jared Leto donned a lab coat as Dr. Michael Morbius in Morbius (2022), scientist cured of a rare blood disease who accidentally transforms himself into a “Living Vampire.” In an interview, director Daniel Espinosa revealed that Leto utilized crutches and a wheelchair on set even during bathroom breaks to maintain his character’s non-vampiric physical fragility. The filmmaker also explained how this methodical technique significantly slowed down production. Even though it is pretty much an insane thing to do, living vampires have to answer nature’s call just like everybody else.

When vamped out, Morbius formed rigid forehead protrusions, a set of proper fangs, and a sliver of a nose that would make Michael Jackson’s plastic surgeon jealous. The outrageous makeup and wardrobe added to the dark and dreary backdrop of the very loose comic book adaptation. While not intentionally a comedy, Morbius inadvertently spawned an Internet meme phenomenon with the infamous “It’s morbin’ time” joke. Though not actually uttered in the film, a time to morb is now synonymous with the character. The online gag of this being a fake catchphrase created such a stir that the film execs misinterpreted this attention for affection, mistaking the social media trend for a genuine demand for a theatrical rerelease of our pal Morbius. On screen, Leto sank his teeth into his enemies, but in reality, the box office numbers sank once more. It’s actually impressive to bomb back to back like that.

Reason to Rec: If you can’t get enough solo villain movies that set up a franchise that leads to nowhere - ultimately being a waste of time - then it’s time for you to morb.

Number One: Joker - Suicide Squad (2016)

When I first saw the promotional image of Jared Leto as Gotham’s Clown Prince of Crime from 2016’s Suicide Squad, my initial thought was, “Sorry, Joker, we’re not hiring.”

Seeking to capture the psychological volatility of Batman’s longtime nemesis, Leto dropped into fully immersing himself as the crazed character. News outlets reported odd stories of the actor sending bizarre “gifts” to his co-stars, including a live rat to Margot Robbie (“Harley Quinn”), bullets to Will Smith (“Deadshot”), and a dead pig to the entire cast at a table read. If Joker Jared ever wants to send me a token of affection or appreciation, tell him a gift card is fine.

On screen, Leto’s performance was an extremely stylized detour from the familiar. This was an edgelord gone overboard. Adorned with a “Damaged” forehead tattoo, a chrome grill, and a cackle that sounded like a struggling engine refusing to turn over in the winter, this incarnation of the Joker was the epitome of being a try-hard. The erratic body ink, the slicked green hair, and the bleached skin culminated in what Joker would look like if he managed Gotham’s least successful vape shop.

The wannabe toxic gangster attire left a foul taste in audiences’ mouths, but I’ll say this of Leto’s approach - it was memorable. Possibly for the wrong reasons, but people still recall and comment on this DC Comics film. Heck, I’m writing about it a decade after its release. The Joker has long since ascended to zeitgeist immortality, and several notable thespians have put their distinct impressions on the iconic villain. Most of which are beloved, showcasing a wide spectrum of interpretations. For better or for worse, of all the live action, voiceover, and stage/theme park iterations of the Joker, Jared Leto managed to leave his unique mark on the Dark Knight’s arch enemy. He even got to reprise the role in a decidedly different visage in Zack Snyder’s Justice League (2021). This time around, Leto sported lengthier, greasier green hair and the white makeup was more smeared and his overall look was way more haggard. This Joker had been through some stuff. The brief cameo from an extended cut of the superhero ensemble movie served as a sort of redemption for Leto. Many fans praised this version’s vibe as it was taken more seriously than Leto’s previous time with the criminal clown.

Jared Leto has, of course, moved onto other projects so he’ll be fine. His oddball offering as the Joker will live on as what will probably still be referred to as “the worst Joker ever.” However, he will be in the public’s everlasting memory, which isn’t always the worst thing.

Reason to Rec: If you are into DC Extended Universe movies that are strangely similar to Ghostbusters (1984), then the 2016 Suicide Suad is right up your alley. It weirdly wasn’t similar to the 2016 Ghostbusters movie. 2016 maybe wasn’t the greatest year for movies.

Def Rec: Of the three Leto roles listed, the film to make time for is… Well, not all of the 2021 extended cut of Zack Snyder’s Justice League, but the “Knightmare” dystopian dream sequence. That singular scene is worth watching. The rest of the four hour slog, er, saga (slogga?) is up to you.

Def Rec Podcast coming soon!

Books by Jon McBrine

Available at Amazon here

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The main blog (the one you just read) will be released on Mondays and will cover hot topics to niche experimental explorations, as well as being a totally unserious slice of nerdery.

As subscribers to the Jon McBrine Newsletter, you will receive Blog updates as well as info on new works.

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If I could turn back time, I’d do it in the most over the top, outrageous, and simply impossible way I could imagine.

For this Top Three list about out of this world movie methods of time travel, I bounced across multiple cinematic timelines to determine the best chrono-crazy vehicles, objects, police boxes, and superpowers. The Rule of Cool is doing some heavy lifting here as even the most “realistic” films about going backward or forward through time are still far fetched. I don’t want to immediately be a downer but despite my enthusiasm about the prospect, I’m fairly certain it’s simply not possible to travel through time. At least going back, that is - moving at ridiculous speeds can thrust you years past your contemporaries, but even if you achieved this, it’s a one-way trip. Cryo-sleep or extended comas are dangerously unreliable. Space travel will get you some time dilation, if that’s what you’re into. Even a theoretical wormhole isn’t exactly something I’d trust. Physics may have laws, but our imaginations aren’t bound to any rules, so let’s have some fun visiting dinosaurs or seeing what the world is like generations from now. Both settings could have dinosaurs.

The years-spanning methodologies and technologies featured in this list are based mostly on the techniques themselves. The “rules” aren’t necessarily the focus, nor are the repercussions. Timey wimey stuff is convoluted as it is, so my area of attention here is how awesomely amazing - or absurd - a craft, ability, or style is. For example, the device used in Looper (2012) was as good as any clunky, wire-laden metal ball you’d find in sci-fi. The gimmick of a person having a limb or something fade away in real time because of something that happened in “their” past? I’m out of the loop on that one. Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989) shared similar logic when the rocker heroes decided their future selves would create something useful for them and send it back to them at the time they needed it. Not entirely outside the realm of possibility, I guess, but ludicrous enough to knowingly be played for laughs. Bill (Alex Winter) and Ted (Keanu Reeves) outscore Young Joe (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) and Old Joe (Bruce Willis) here due to the Wyld Stallions’ fabulous phone booth being most triumphant and way cooler than the Looper orb thing.

Honorable mentions: Primer (2004), The Time Machine (2002), Doctor Who (1963-???), A Sound of Thunder (2005), Timecop (1994), Hot Tub Time Machine (2010)

Not so honorable mention: The Butterfly Effect (2004)

Okay, so there’s one more detail I’m taking into consideration about what time travel movie I’ll allow on this list - sorry, Terminator fans, but clothing is required when traversing the time-waves. This is a clean blog!

I’ll break down the Top Three Time Travel Techniques. And then I’ll reveal which is the number one pick I recommend.

If you agree with me or think I’m a psycho, let me know in the comments - or visit jonmcbrine.com to find all the ways to contact me and make some recommendations of your own.

Top Time-Traveling Techniques

Number Three: Reverse-Spinning the Earth - Superman: The Movie (1978)

The climactic ending of the Man of Steel’s ’78 silver screen adaptation made us believe a man could fly - as well prove that Superman (Christopher Reeve) can really just bend reality to what he wants it to be. Stricken with grief over the apparent death of Lois Lane, Kal-El soars at super speeds, lapping the globe to reverse time. By flying so fast around the Earth, Superman switches the planet’s rotation to spin the other way, therefore reversing the tragic events leading to Lane’s demise. Assuming that’s just how space and stuff works for a second, by doing this, the Man of Tomorrow showed us that he can basically alter the course of time itself - he simply chooses not to destroy the planet and/or press rewind on your life.

Here’s a twist in the myth: since understanding quantum mechanics is above my pay grade, I shall research “The Internet”:

Supes spinning the Earth backward to turn back the clock would naturally cause inertia to fling every building and human into the atmosphere at 1,000 miles per hour.

Superman is supposedly flying faster than the speed of light, effectively traveling backward through time. The Earth spinning in reverse is just a visual representation of time moving backward from his perspective, not him physically changing the planet’s rotation. Once he arrives at his target time, he flies forward again to snap the timeline back to normal.

- Thanks, World Wide Web. Regardless of whether he was merely shifting the planet or manipulating space and the fabric of reality as we know it, the Last Son of Krypton being able to do this is incredible. What a bold, bonkers choice.

Reason to Rec: The first Reeve Superman film is an all-timer, but for those who may not have ever actually watched it, be aware that it is an unapologetically 70s flick. The fashion alone is super.

Number Two: Solar System Slingshot - Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (1986)

An alien probe has threatened to vaporize Earth unless it can yap it up with extinct humpback whales. Vintage Star Trek stuff right there. Admiral Kirk (William Shatner) and his Starfleet friends are left with the obvious choice of resolving this space-time continuum conundrum, which is to travel back in time. Seeing how bouncing around the chronosphere is old hat for the Enterprise crew, it probably shouldn’t be surprising that this would be an option for them. Heck, the particular theory they use was presented way back in the original 60s Trek series.

In Star Trek III: The Search For Spock (1984), the Enterprise blew up, but they were indeed successful in locating Spock (Leonard Nimoy). In order to pull off this wild scheme of returning to the time of peak Earth whale action, Kirk and company would commandeer a stolen Klingon Bird of Prey which they rechristened the HMS Bounty.

To go from the 23rd century back to 1986 San Francisco, Spock calculates a maximum warp trick that has been dubbed the Slingshot Effect. There is a lot of technobabble about flying directly into the sun, using gravitational pulls, and precision piloting to catapult the vessel into the time stream. I’ll take their word for it.

The return trip to the future employs the same maneuver, except now the ship is carrying a cargo hold completely flooded with water, a pair of whales, and an 80s marine biologist, Dr. Gillian Taylor (Catherine Hicks), who ditches her current time to go live in Kirk’s era. To be so eager to totally abandon her present day life to go stargazing in the future, well, I guess you could say she must’ve had a whale of a time. Sorry-not-sorry.

Reason to Rec: For many Trekkies, The Voyage Home is their fave of the final frontier films. This story is a slice of 80s cinematic fun that has just enough goofball sensibility to not be a total message movie.

Number One: The DeLorean - Back To the Future (1985)

Of course, the souped-up car built by Doc Brown (Christopher Lloyd) is going to make this list. So much has been documented, discussed, and debated about the beloved Michael J. Fox-starring franchise that the only thing left to say is that making a time machine out of a DeLorean turned out to be a pretty fantastic idea. It beats the original script’s concept of a lead-lined refrigerator.

Back To the Future Part III (1990) features a cool time-tracking locomotive, but the OG two-seater reigns supreme as the coolest way to travel across the decades.

Reason to Rec: BTTF exists in its own atmosphere of highly enjoyable and infinitely rewatchable entertainment. The first Future is legitimately one of the greatest movies ever made. While the additional two are also classics, revisiting the original is always a smart use of your… time.

Def Rec: Of the three time travel techniques I’ve listed, the DeLorean drives away as the number one pick. I was tempted to choose the Star Trek trick to possibly subvert expectations, but who are we kidding? There’s a reason BTTF continues to enjoy total time travel supremacy to this day. If you watch any of these movies, feel the power of love and go back to Back To the Future.

Def Rec Podcast coming soon!

Books by Jon McBrine

Available at Amazon here

Available at Amazon here

Read the books? Leave a review here!

The main blog (the one you just read) will be released on Mondays and will cover hot topics to niche experimental explorations, as well as being a totally unserious slice of nerdery.

As subscribers to the Jon McBrine Newsletter, you will receive Blog updates as well as info on new works.

Note: Substack subscribers have been added to the Newsletter subscription. If you do not wish to receive Newsletter updates, you can unsubscribe or contact me directly and I will remove you. Thank you.

Stay in the loop for more details by subscribing to my Substack and be sure to check out jonmcbrine.com for more info about this and my books.

New blog every Monday. Jon McBrine Newsletter first Monday of each month via email.

This is Def Rec, a totally unserious blog about entertainment experiences you will definitely recommend. Movie minutia and television tidbits get ranked, rated, reviewed and skewed, and in the end, you’ll know which one to def rec.

I’m Jon McBrine—I’m an authority on entertainment and pop culture because I have access to the Internet.

Without a great villain, there is no great hero. In TV Land, the noble defender and the sinister fiend are oftentimes connected on a physiological level. Sometimes it’s a cybernetic or inter-dimensional link intertwining characters from opposite ends of their respective spectrums. Sometimes the only way to tell who is good and who is evil is by the presence of stylish facial hair.

Nefarious doppelgängers are a time-honored television tradition, and it’s a nice way to have a performer do double-duty. A cast member portraying two characters at once is an opportunity to showcase their broad range of gifts as a thespian. Or perhaps a leading man or lady gets the same amount pay for twice the work, thus saving the studio money by not hiring any more actors. Whatever the case, as viewers, we are treated to cleverly edited combat scenes where a person basically has to fight themself.

Seeing a different side of a beloved actor is always rewarding, especially if it’s a body-swap story, an amnesia angle, a possession gimmick, or some kind of time travel-related mixup. The best conflicts, though, keep it in the family - but evilness doesn’t end at blood. Be it circuitry or a parallel universe, dark reflections can pop up at the most inconvenient times. Or when it’s Sweeps Week.

For this Top Three list about the bad versions of good guys, I could have easily included all of the Star Trek Mirror-verse’s twisted incarnations of the familiar faces of the final frontier. The villainous counterpart to Spock (Leonard Nimoy) is a classic example of how a goatee can change your whole soul - just ask Thomas Riker (Jonathan Frakes). Buffy the Vampire Slayer is no stranger to creepy copies as Willow’s (Alyson Hannigan) vampiric “Dark Willow” alternate dimension self reigned chaos down on Sunnydale. Superman has faced his odd opposite Bizarro in various forms across different TV and film interpretations. Supernatural had loads of multiversal fun, namely with the pampered private plane-riding doubles of hunter bros Sam (Jared Padalecki) and Dean (Jensen Ackles) from a parallel timeline.

What separates a conniving clone or lethal long lost relative from a run of the mill replicant? More so than even the nastiest of deeds, style points can make a devious duplicate standout. Above all, though, it comes down to the tale being told. But mostly it’s who was the coolest, funniest, or most outrageous outing for an actor getting to play around on the wild side.

Honorable mentions: From the movies it’s Evil Ash (Bruce Campbell) from Army of Darkness (1992); the silver screen also blessed us with Evil Bill & Ted (Alex Winters & Keanu Reeves) from Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey (1991); back to the small screen it’s the “Red K” Clark persona (Tom Welling) from Smallville (2001-2011) despite not being a physically different person (special shout out to the ’Ville’s version of Bizarro and their take on the alt-universe “Ultraman” Clark Luthor); Ursula Buffay (Lisa Kudrow) from Mad About You (1992-1999) to Friends (1994-2004), who may not have been all that malevolent but wasn’t always paying much attention to the needs of those around her; and Hugo (voiced by Nancy Cartwright) from The Simpsons (1989-Forever?) “Treehouse of Horror VII” from 1996 - the secret grotesque twin brother who is eventually revealed and shocks all of Springfield when it’s discovered that the evil one was always the Bart we thought we knew and loved (at least in this episode). After years of the animated attitudinal adolescent telling us to eat our shorts, maybe we shouldn’t have been so surprised.

I’ll break down the Top Three TV Evil Twins. And then I’ll reveal which is the number one pick I recommend.

If you agree with me or think I’m a psycho, let me know in the comments - or visit jonmcbrine.com to find all the ways to contact me and make some recommendations of your own.

Best TV Evil Twins

Alex Drake - Pretty Little Liars (2010-2017)

Pretty Little Liars started out as a novel series of the same name written by Sara Shepard and then leapt to the screen as an ABC Family/Freeform live action series that put at least one of the “a’s” in “drama.” The other “a” could be “absurd” based on the amount of soap opera-tier twists and turns in the town of Rosewood, PA.

The show revolves around five high school BFFs who are routinely harassed by the anonymous “A,” an enigmatic entity who knows the girl squad a little too well. The young ladies’ alpha Alison (Sasha Pieterse) vanishes and the group undergoes numerous challenges throughout the seasons. The besties encounter issues ranging from problematic relationship age gaps, a spell of a ghostly spinoff that wasn’t long for this world, and, of course, murder.

Troian Bellisario portrayed designer trench coat aficionado Spencer Hastings, who, like the rest of the ensemble of characters, endured the unseen A’s numerous threats over the years. After so many extortion attempts and terrifying texts, Spencer thought she just might finally live a peaceful life with her doctor beau Wren (Julian Morris). Welp, turns out Spencer has an identical British twin sister who has been plotting against her under the guise of “A.D.”

Alex Drake discovers her stateside sibling’s existence and is totes jellz of Spencer’s seemingly idyllic life. Alex decides the best way to connect with her sis is to—what else?—steal her twin’s identity. Alex frequently poses as Spencer to fool those closest to her and even goes through the trouble of arranging to be shot in the shoulder to match Spencer’s signature scar. And what’s a little imprisonment between family?

As if Alex‘s devious determination to take over Spencer’s life wasn’t insane enough, the other resident psychopath of the series, Mona Vanderwaal (Janel Parrish) gets a French dude (James Claude Bristow) to aid her in kidnapping Alex and Mary Drake (Andrea Parker) and detains them in a creepy underground bunker designed to resemble a giant dollhouse.

Unbeknownst for much of the saga, Mary is the secret identical twin of Jessica DiLaurentis, the mother of Alison, the original girl who disappeared at the start of the show. Mary is the biological mother of Spencer Hastings, Alex Drake, and Charlotte DiLaurentis (Vanessa Ray). Charlotte was born Charles DiLaurentis and would later be known as CeCe, but fans would recognize her as the first “Big A” antagonist who stalked Spencer et al.

Jessica had an under wraps affair with Peter Hastings, Spencer’s dad. The result of their tryst was the birth of Jason DiLaurentis (first played by Parker Bagley then by Drew Van Acker), Alison’s older brother.

Luckily, there will not be a test on this.

Of all the twinning and sinning going on, why choose Alex as a Top Evil Twin? It falls on Troian Bellisario’s accent. It is a perfectly generic form of Cockney, innit? Roit, and’ oi! Guvna, I reckon for a pint for a quid I’ll have a craic of Harry Potter, I will! Okay, I got a little Irish on the way out, but Alex definitely speaks like what an American raised on TV would think Brits talk like. No shade on Bellisario here as Alex was introduced extremely late in the series, so I don’t know how much time there would have been to prepare. This last-minute entrance from across the pond is the other factor that tips the scale in Alex’s favor. Just when you thought PLL couldn’t top itself, it busts out the secret twin villain story. Perf!

Reason to Rec: With a few spinoffs such as the aforementioned ghostly Ravenswood (2013-2014), the legacy sequel series Pretty Little Liars: The Perfectionists (2019), and the prequel show Pretty Little Liars: Original Sin (2022-2024), there’s a fair share of canon for any teen drama lore hound. For fans of crazy family conflicts that will leave your head spinning, this is the series for you.

Recommended viewing: Pretty Little Liars, “Til Death Do Us PArt” - season 7, episode 20 (2017)

Garthe Knight - Knight Rider (1982-1986)

Party on, Garthe - the epitome of evil brotherness, David Hasselhoff’s performance on Knight Rider as heroic Michael and devilish Garthe Knight is simply iconic.

Full disclosure: I’m only familiar with the general legend of how the Hoff’s portrayal as his character’s villainous double sported the immortal facial hair and trademark sneer. There was no way I was going to ignore such a landmark bad guy, but for this list, I needed to do some research. After reading up and the history of the Knight family, I can genuinely tell you that it is beyond cray cray.

Richard Basehart not only provided the show’s famous opening voiceover narration, but he also played Wilton Knight, the self-made billionaire and father to Garthe. Wilson’s bio-son, Garthe, grew up to be a wealthy international criminal serving a life sentence in a brutal African prison. The G-Man gets out of incarceration thanks to a bribery scheme orchestrated by his mother, Elizabeth (Barbara Rush). Once freed, Garthe learns of his “brother,” Michael. And this is where it gets nuts.

Wilton, being the super weird guy he is, rescued a dying undercover cop named Michael Long. Eccentric is a polite way of describing ol’ Wilt, because his next move was… odd. He organized it so the injured Michael would receive a face transplant, and modeled that new countenance exactly after his estranged ex-con son. If you can’t rely on your progeny to be someone you can be proud of, you manufacture one!

Already a not-so-nice person, Garthe took Michael Knight’s existence personally. He also took his villainy to the next level by even having a sort-of shadow-version of Michael’s classic 1982 Pontiac Trans Am, KITT (Knight Industries Two Thousand). Voiced by William Daniels, this souped-up sentient car used its advanced technology to defend the innocent. Garthe’s counterpart car, KARR (Knight Automated Roving Robot), voiced by Peter Cullen and Peter Frees in two separate episodes, was actually constructed prior to KITT. The automobile rivalry didn’t end there - Garthe would also go big with an armored semi-truck called Goliath. Self-aware vehicles, big hair, facial reconstructive surgery - this series has something for everyone.

Reason to Rec: 80s TV fanatics will be driven to go down the raging road of revenge with Garthe Knight. One could argue that Garthe and Michael aren’t really twins, at least, not by genetics. Semantics aside, if you want to see why so many people associate evil twins with mustaches, then ride shotgun with Knight Rider.

Recommended viewing: Knight Rider, “Goliath: Part 1” season 2, episode 1 (1983)

Lore - Star Trek: The Next Generation (1987-1994)

Androids have feelings, too! If you program them that way, that is. Brent Spiner’s beloved robotic character Data from Star Trek: The Next Generation continues to intrigue Trekkies to this day and his positronic portrayal has graced numerous TV series and movies. The accomplished actor has also had plenty of opportunities to showcase his prismatic performing abilities. Of all the various iterations of Data’s “family” members, the most notable and notorious black sheep is the emotionally charged Lore.

In the sleepy burg known as the Omicron Theta colony, proud parents Dr. Noonien Soong (Brent Spiner) and his wife Juliana (Fionnghuala Flanagan) created several Android prototypes. They named an early, less sophisticated model “B-4,” who I guess they knew wasn’t ever going to be final product. I suppose they also had it in mind that this simple-minded “older brother” would not be talked about until the 2002 movie Star Trek: Nemesis. After B-4, Lore was built and programmed to experience humanlike emotions. Lore’s go-to attitude was that of a data-driven drama queen. Quickly evolving into a binary-speaking bad boy, Lore deduced that he was superior to his flesh bag contemporaries. After a threat of permanently placing him in shutdown mode, Lore thought of the only thing his advanced artificial intellect could produce: he contacted a weird spacefaring crystalline entity to pretty much eat the squishy mortals.

Years later, the U.S.S. Enterprise-D would find Lore’s disassembled body, reconstruct him, and bring on the robo-brother reunion. Lore took no time in taking advantage of his emotionless cyber-sibling’s goodie-two-shoes persona. Lore masqueraded as Data to cause some mirth and ultimately try to serve the starship crew as the latest meal for that bizarre crystal alien life form thing. Lore had a thing for intergalactic minerals.

Much later, Lore would resurface as a cult-like leader of newly individualized Borg. The cyborgs were longtime enemies of Data and his Starfleet friends, and now this radicalized sect of Borg were under the influence of Lore. Needless to say, Lore has issues. His problems are rooted in brotherly jealousy and parental abandonment hangups. Lore just needed a hug. I’m pretty sure he’d use his super-android strength to crush whoever was foolish enough to bring it in for a loving embrace, though.

Lore was made to have feelings and they got hurt, big time. He was eventually deactivated for being somewhat of an untrustworthy psychotron. Despite Lore’s drastic differences in mannerisms and personality traits, he shared Data’s programming of aging and gaining weight. Hey, I might be an android, too, come to think of it.

Reason to Rec: Lore stories were always fun because it was a chance for Spiner to thoroughly chew the futuristic scenery. The two droids together provided perfect good/bad twin energy, even though they weren’t made of traditional flesh and bone.

Recommended viewing: Star Trek: The Next Generation, “Datalore” season 1, episode 12 (1988)

Def Rec: Of the three characters I’ve listed, the Evil Twin episodes I definitely recommend above all else are the stories of Lore’s lore. Picking a smooth-skinned android over mustachioed and/or bearded evildoers may be controversial, but Lore proved that a dark double’s dastardly deeds are more than skin deep.

Def Rec Podcast coming soon!

Books by Jon McBrine

Available at Amazon here

Available at Amazon here

Read the books? Leave a review here!

The main blog (the one you just read) will be released on Mondays and will cover hot topics to niche experimental explorations, as well as being a totally unserious slice of nerdery.

As subscribers to the Jon McBrine Newsletter, you will receive Blog updates as well as info on new works.

Note: Substack subscribers have been added to the Newsletter subscription. If you do not wish to receive Newsletter updates, you can unsubscribe or contact me directly and I will remove you. Thank you.

Stay in the loop for more details by subscribing to my Substack and be sure to check out jonmcbrine.com for more info about this and my books.

New blog every Monday. Jon McBrine Newsletter first Monday of each month via email.

This is Def Rec, a totally unserious blog about entertainment experiences you will definitely recommend. Movie minutia and television tidbits get ranked, rated, reviewed and skewed, and in the end, you’ll know which one to def rec.

I’m Jon McBrine—I’m an authority on entertainment and pop culture because I have access to the Internet.

Sometimes a television series doesn’t stick the landing. There are instances of when a popular TV show drops the ball in its series finale despite the majority of its run crushing in the ratings. There are times when an episodic epic’s final airing is more memorable than the season preceding it. There are endless debates about how Seinfeld, The Sopranos, and even Stranger Things said goodbye - not to mention any “it was all a dream” scenarios from other shows - but what about those series that absolutely nailed their inaugural outings?

For this three-part list, I am examining a terrific trio of televised tales that had superb debut seasons. The remainder of their respective runs, however, don’t necessarily have to match the same opening quality. For example, one could argue that Game of Thrones had a strong start but many fans still feel the chill of how the live action song of ice and fire flamed out. Twin Peaks introduced a mind-bending mystery but after the creepy case was closed, well, you could say the Lynchian drama “peaked” early. A killer kickoff to a series can stand alone as a spectacular and gripping overarching storyline that encapsulates what genuinely amazing TV (or streaming) can be. A fantastic first season reminds us of why we enjoy these serialized adventures and how they keep us coming back every week and/or has us hitting the play next episode button.

Before I get to the main meat of this blog, I want to take a moment to acknowledge the HBO series True Detective. As a one-off season, the intense introductory crime story with backwoods twists and philosophical brain-benders is an all-timer. The only reason this incredible show isn’t on my list is because of my admittedly arbitrary qualifier of no anthologies. This also rules out shows like Fargo. The rationalization behind this is my preference of a show maintaining the majority of its players throughout its existence. Yes, Hart (Woody Harrelson) and Cohle (Matthew McConaughey) are mentioned at other points in Detective, making it so they coexist in the same universe, but I’m a man of principles. And a man of oddly specific prerequisites.

I’ll break down the top three TV shows with the best first seasons. And then I’ll reveal which is the number one pick I recommend.

If you agree with me or think I’m a psycho, let me know in the comments - or visit jonmcbrine.com to find all the ways to contact me and make some recommendations of your own.

Best First Seasons

Veronica Mars (2004)

The early mid-aughts was a golden time for television, especially for The WB/The CW (and lest we forget UPN). During this era, teen dramas continued their rampaging popularity, building off stellar standouts like Dawson’s Creek, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Gilmore Girls, Everwood, 7th Heaven, Roswell, One Tree Hill, The OC, Kyle XY, and Smallville. In 2004, viewers were introduced to Veronica Mars (Kristen Bell), a teenage detective embroiled in classist high school culture clashes in her hometown of Neptune, California. Oh yeah, and her BFF Lilly (Amanda Seyfried) is murdered. Plus, Lilly’s brother, Duncan (Teddy Dunn), was Veronica’s boyfriend. Lilly’s former beau, Logan (Jason Dohring), will eventually develop some backseat-of-the-car-kind of feelings for Veronica. It’s a complex tapestry of hormonal teen antics. Not to worry, though, because Miss Mars is on the case and she got her gumshoe genes from her private eye dad, Keith (Enrico Colantoni), the county’s former sheriff. Assisting Veronica along her journey for justice are her friends - fellow high schooler with hoop dreams Wallace (Percy Daggs III), biker gang bad boy Weevil (Francis Capra), and hacker extraordinaire Mac (Tina Majorino), among others. The colorful contemporary noir vibe contributed to how the show immediately set its unique tone. The episodes were engaging, unraveling the mystery as the whodunit storyline progressed and as the characters’ relationships deepened.

As fun as it was to tag along for all the computer hacking, gym class heroics, and dating dilemmas, the showrunners knew how to get serious. The pilot established that Veronica’s previous year of high school was not a great time. Her bestie, Lilly, was killed and Veronica was assaulted after being drugged at a party. In the face of this trauma, Veronica keeps her snarky demeanor as she further uncovers the secrets of Neptune’s wealthy elite and how enough money can bail anyone out of almost anything.

As a singular season, the sarcastic sleuthing is top-notch. V-Mars isn’t afraid to expose political corruption, teen troubles, and getting right with folks on the wrong side of the tracks. All that and some family drama that really kept in the family. The second season offers more shocking revelations about Veronica’s past, but the first’s finale quite handily solves Lilly’s murder. Additional plotlines were, of course, seeded throughout the freshman season about a sophomore year. This introductory stretch of stories serves as a nostalgic time capsule exemplifying how awesome appointment TV-watching could be. Veronica Mars would go on to air two more regular seasons, a 2014 movie, a 2019 revival season, along with novels and audiobooks that preserved the private eye saga. That initial mystery, though, reigns supreme as one fantastic detective story worth investigating.

Reason to Rec: Even if you’re not nuts about decades-old teen dramas like I am, the 04-05 season of Veronica Mars is a must-watch for mystery buffs. This series proves the first is far from the worst.

Battlestar Galactica (2004)

2004’s dominance of the small screen rages on with the explosive debut of the reimagining of a classic sci-fi series. Fans were reintroduced to Battlestar Galactica with a TV movie that led to the main series about a desperate space military warring against human-hating cybernetic beings. Gone were the beloved but admittedly cheesy costumes and makeup of the original late-seventies show (and its subsequent specials), and in their place were advanced effects, stellar sets, and a darker edge.

This incarnation of BSG arrived around the same time when sci-fi mainstay Star Trek was exploring not exactly strange new worlds with the prequel series Enterprise. Trek vet Ronald D. Moore worked as one of the main creative forces behind BSG venturing into a bolder direction while the former franchise he was a contributor to, well, stalled. Science fiction in general would endure other complicated offerings the following year after Battlestar’s debut: 2005 saw the source of many nerd arguments, Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith, and the final voyage of Enterprise. Blasting off from the black holes left behind from other, more established stargazing franchises, BSG set its course for TV immortality. Fans latched onto the grittier rendition of the Cylon saga, eagerly ready to take sci-fi seriously again.

The galactic reboot nuked any notions of the past by tossing humanity into an AI-powered apocalypse. The surviving humans are loaded into a convoy of whatever spacecraft that weren’t obliterated. Political turmoil, panic-induced disarray, and some good old-fashioned religious visions spark crisis after crisis amongst the haphazard fleet of ships. Commander Adama (Edward James Olmos) has his hands full with leading his makeshift flagship vessel that is a throwback to a time before every cybernetic system was interconnected. The crew of the Galactica hope that their archaic armada’s low(er)-tech designs will shield them from the vengeful Cylon’s advanced Basestar ships.

The evil “Toasters” were still petty about having previously getting owned by their organic creators. Their return to power implemented the Cylon’s next-gen development of spies that were so humanlike that they were nearly undetectable. Even some of the undercover flesh-bags didn’t know that they were indeed incredibly sophisticated pieces of machinery.

Terminally-ill President Roslin (Mary McDonnell) does her darndest to lead the last survivors of mankind while Viper starfighter pilots “Starbuck” (Katee Sackhoff) is determined to break formation by going her own way, and Adama’s remaining son “Apollo” (Jamie Bamber) strives to break free from the shadow of his brother’s untimely demise. With the presidential personnel, fanatical zealots, tough-as-nails servicemen and women, and, of course, the ominous sentient cyber enemies, BSG has a little something for everybody.

The series would go onto spawn a few special presentation movies, and a prequel series Caprica in 2009 that failed to recapture the same interest as its predecessor. All the video games, board games, novelizations, and comic books can be traced back to the ’04 season that set the stage for interplanetary warfare. The show’s entire run was the stuff of televised legends, but it was the initial missions that captivated audiences enough to honor the legacy. BSG set the standard of what mature, hard sci-fi could be and it never relented. It is also a series that keeps its relevancy by making us yet again ponder if creating artificially intelligent beings could lead to our downfall. Nah, we’re probably alright. Right…?

Reason to Rec: Sci-fi fans looking to enlist a slightly more realistic and hard-edged war amongst the stars will move faster than light to watch this show. The biggest reason to check it out is to introduce the word “frak” into your personal lexicon.

Lost (2004)

2004 is shaping up to be the best year in all of television. The premiere of ABC’s Lost sent viewers spiraling into a mysterious ride where the more things got answered, the more questions arose. Much has been said about the show’s finale, as well as the varying opinions of the quality of the rest of the seasons leading up to it. Over the course of the series about eclectic island castaways, highlights included stories centering around quantum mechanics, theological pondering, as well as exploring reality itself. For a show about plane crash survivors learning how to adapt to life on an unknown island, Lost challenged people’s perception of the world itself.

The first season of Lost is essentially what happens when a group of strangers emerge from a catastrophic disaster and decides that maybe tribalism isn’t so bad. Everyone has an enigmatic backstory, and the island itself has an irritable identity. Being stuck in what largely appears to be a tropical paradise might not come off as too worrisome at first, but pesky things like food, clean water, shelter, communication with the outside world, and squabbles over dominance ensue panic. And this is before we meet the polar bears and black smoke entity.

The inaugural season packed in as many puzzling plots as possible while still finding time to squeeze in love triangles and petty grudges. America was on board for each episode’s cryptic unraveling, and water coolers everywhere were the grounds for many discussions about how fatefully intertwined the characters were. All those spooky elements inhabited the crazy island, as well as a whole darn science team and a French woman who had been in the jungle a little too long.

As if the myriad of maddening mysteries wasn’t enough, the primary focus was on the seemingly innocuous yet still altogether bizarre hatch. All season long, while wading in the weird storytelling waters, fans across the country craved to know just who or what was inside that large steel entrance that was oddly just kind of chilling in the middle of the dirt. Lost proved that a singular season can ensnare the imagination of a nation, leading us all deeper into its immersive world.

Reason to Rec: This is a strange saga you’ll gladly get “lost” in. Fair warning, though, the secrets and reveals can be frustrating. The mysteries do get resolved but for me, not every explanation was satisfying.

Def Rec: Of the three shows I’ve listed, the single season I definitely recommend above all else is Lost. Even with such a big cast, the mystifying story stays engaging, resulting in the series’ main appeal - its rewatchability. I can’t sincerely claim that the remaining five seasons held consistent quality, but the first flight is a standalone masterpiece.

Def Rec Podcast coming soon!

Books by Jon McBrine

Available at Amazon here

Available at Amazon here

Read the books? Leave a review here!

The main blog (the one you just read) will be released on Mondays and will cover hot topics to niche experimental explorations, as well as being a totally unserious slice of nerdery.

As subscribers to the Jon McBrine Newsletter, you will receive Blog updates as well as info on new works.

Note: Substack subscribers have been added to the Newsletter subscription. If you do not wish to receive Newsletter updates, you can unsubscribe or contact me directly and I will remove you. Thank you.

Stay in the loop for more details by subscribing to my Substack and be sure to check out jonmcbrine.com for more info about this and my books.

New blog every Monday. Jon McBrine Newsletter first Monday of each month via email

Getting hacked was the best thing that could’ve happened to me. It’s also the most annoying thing. Jonfiction is my “author blog,” and my X account upheaval has already helped my writing habits. Heck, in a mere matter of days, my entire well being has benefitted from my limited access to the platform formerly known as Twitter. And it is so irritating to admit that.

The TL/DR version of how I lost control of my X account is a fairly typical - and a bit humiliating - story. I received an email notifying me about my password having been changed. I dismissed this message as a phishing scam and deleted the email and blocked the sender. Not long after, I discovered that I could no longer access my account. I was able to reset my password and contacted X support. The original email I deemed untrustworthy turned out to legitimately be from X. The automated tech support reply informed me that my phone number and email were still linked to my account. My primary holdup is getting stuck in a loop of two-factor authentication. I was foolish to not have previously set up anything with 2FA but I guess the app thinks I did because I can’t get any further in the credentials verification process unless I can successfully input a code, etc. A code I don’t have, or rather, can’t have. I’m presently in X-support email limbo.

Fortunately, there hasn’t been any suspicious activity in my bank account and to my knowledge, I haven’t sent anything crazy. The only thing I can see from my “@jonmcbrine” account is a generic and pretty fake-looking endorsement of what or who I presume to be a life coach of some kind. It’s honestly less embarrassing than my normal posts.

Ya know, if I regain access to my main X, of course I’ll resume usage. X is the platform I find most interesting and have the most fun using. However, as far as I what I “get” from it in regard to books/engagement/sales/conversion, etc., is very little. That being said, I obviously don’t use X correctly.

I don’t get much from my Facebook but I don’t try as hard on there either.

So, yes, I enjoy using X enough to where I’d have what would essentially be a burner account simply just to access the app itself - hopefully I don’t have to do that.

In the meantime, though, while I haven’t deleted the app or anything like that, I have reordered my iPhone home screen to have Threads take its place as one of my main, most frequently opened apps. Heck, I even updated the widgets on my lock screen to replace X and instead have the Kindle app widget which displays my reading progress and is a quick access to open the ebook I am currently reading.

If it weren’t for the potential security risk of this hack, I would at least consider a purposeful temporary pause from using X altogether. Not because I hate Elon or anything, but my life was immediately enriched after my access was restricted. Still, I’ll go back eventually one way or another.

My hacker is probably somewhere thinking they’ll be able to extort me or something but in reality I’m like, hey this ain’t so bad!

To me, X is really the most entertaining and funny app based on my algorithm, I guess. I will admit, though, that X is basically a cesspool of negativity even more so than any normal comment section anywhere else on the Internet. While I do find much of this humorous, at the end of the day, as far as any of my goals are as an Internet person are concerned, I don’t receive much out of using X. That has a lot to do because I assume I simply don’t know how to use it. But I do get entertainment from it. Still, if it turns out I straight up can’t use it as much or maybe not at all, I mean, ultimately it’s not a big loss. If this was going to happen to any of the apps I use on a regular basis then I guess it’s best it happened to FKA Twitter.

I’m a social media whore but not the kind that can make money - I’m on YouTube, Bluesky, Mastodon, Clapper, Lemon8, TikTok, Facebook, Instagram, Threads, Tumblr, and, of course, Substack.

So, I get my fill. I really like using Insta but I don’t really “use” it right, meaning the weird stuff I like to post doesn’t really get engagement but it’s admittedly niche.

That being said, the recent Star Wars-related video I made on a whim got me a lot of engagement (comparatively) across multiple platforms. I guess the world demands yet another nerd talking about Star Wars.

I’m not on Reddit as much actually. I abandoned Medium, Rumble, Truth Social, Parler, Snapchat, and Twitch. This is mainly because, frankly, I found them boring. In some cases, I just didn’t need them for what I am trying to do.

It’s time consuming but I do legit enjoy making, writing, and designing my current public posts.

Since this Friday blog is intended to provide updates on my author journey and not an introspective on social media itself, I’ll wrap this up. I don’t necessarily condone an exit from X. I don’t condemn X either. I only wish I got to make one of those dramatic posts about how I’m leaving the platform. I certainly don’t blame anyone for using it - again, I’d be scrolling my regular X feed right now if I could. However, since I’m sans-X at the moment, I have to begrudgingly admit that I am better off without it. I don’t know how long I’ll be away from my routine browsing and posting on the app under my primary account, but I won’t miss it while I’m gone.

For anyone who says X specifically is a harmful waste of time, you are right - and it’s so obnoxious to confess this. I’ll be more productive in achieving my online goals now but that doesn’t mean I have to like it!

Jonfiction will be released on Fridays and will be a recap of my word counts, themes explored, challenges, triumphs, studies on techniques, and generally my present status in the crazy realm of being an author.

The main blog will continue to be released on Mondays and will still cover hot topics to niche experimental explorations, as well as being a totally unserious slice of nerdery.

As subscribers to the Jon McBrine Newsletter, you will receive Blog updates as well as info on new works.

Note: Substack subscribers have been added to the Newsletter subscription. If you do not wish to receive Newsletter updates, you can unsubscribe or contact me directly and I will remove you. Thank you.

Stay in the loop for more details by subscribing to my Substack and be sure to check out jonmcbrine.com for more info about this and my books.

New blog every Monday. Jon McBrine Newsletter first Monday of each month via email.

Available at Amazon here

Available at Amazon here

Read the books? Leave a review!

Movie trilogies are beloved by fans across the world for their time-honored traditional form of storytelling. Sagas with a beginning, middle, and end are the truest, most basic style of entertainment utilized by countless scribes, performers, orators, and just about anyone who has ever spun a yarn. From The Lord of the Rings to Star Wars, most cinematic three-part tales all have one major thing in common: they made a lot of money! So much box office cash is made that studios do the only thing they can do in a situation where a finished-off franchise still has earning potential - make yet another sequel that essentially says, “So, we’re really still doing this, aren’t we?”

For the super serious scientific criteria of this Top Three Fourth Franchise Films ranking, I had to filter through a flurry of extra additions to movie favorites. In this list, a solid post-trilogy entry shouldn’t end the series - in fact, a qualifying “part four” should come after a well established tentpole trio. So, a perquisite for this highly sophisticated rating system is that the fourth offering not be what ended the series whether or not it was intentional. This means even some classics and all time faves didn’t make the cut, such as 1998’s Lethal Weapon 4 and 2024’s Beverly Hills Cop Axel F (though the belated Eddie Murphy Netflix flick did shatter a longstanding trilogy which is in itself what I deem worthy of this list). Some franchise chapters are included in an anticipated line of films, as is the case with Harry Potter, Twilight, and the James Bond series, so to me, they don’t count.

Some motion picture placements get a little confusing. The inaugural Star Wars is famously known as “Episode IV” but the fourth theatrically released epic sci-fi film was Episode I in 1999. But where does that 1985 Ewoks movie fit in? Alien is easy enough but the Predator movies got crazy with the Cheez Whiz when they did those “versus” crossovers, so I’ll exclude them for now.

A fourth movie (technically the third sequel) can oddly feel like the middle child of a film series. That isn’t to say there haven’t been some fantastic fourths. 1986’s Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home is widely regarded by Trekkies as one of, if not the best of the Enterprise crew’s silver screen adventures. The time-traveling Trek tale is, however, very much a part of the trilogy of stories started in 1982’s Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. Like I said, it’s a very complex and, like, totally smart ranking system.

Alternatively, there have been fourth movies that simply weren’t the strongest in their series. As much as it pains me to say, 2011’s Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol and 2009’s The Final Destination simply aren’t up to snuff compared to their franchise family. I love, love, love 2000’s Highlander: Endgame but I won’t pretend it’s the best of the immortal epics (but far from the worst). The Hobbit trilogy of films only serves to further muddy the considerations. Then there’s 2009’s Fast and Furious which is the fourth one but also a prequel, I think? It gets confusing.

Honorable mentions:

John Wick: Chapter 4, The Matrix Resurrections, Alien: Resurrection, Batman and Robin, Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers, Psycho IV: The Beginning, Leprechaun 4: In Space, Hellraiser: Bloodline, Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter, Jurassic World, Live Free Or Die Hard, The Bourne Legacy, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, Terminator Salvation, Resident Evil: Afterlife, Mad Max: Fury Road, Transformers: Age of Extinction, and The Next Karate Kid

Top Three: Part Fours

There can be only three!

1996 introduced moviegoers to Wes Craven’s Scream, a scarily satirical stab at the slasher genre. Writer Kevin Williamson scripted a terrifying story depicting the killer entity known as Ghostface on a vengeful hunt that challenged the notion of scary movies themselves. Naturally, the following year debuted a sequel, Scream 2, then the saga was rounded out by 2000’s Scream 3. The first batch of what are essentially Whodunit horror stories closed the casket after the seemingly final flick’s release. Like any masked mutilator worth their salt, evil never truly dies so, of course, another Scream was eventually produced. A little over a decade passed until the fourth movie resurrected Ghostface, and it fit right in with a slew of revived franchises coming out around this era (revisiting famed movie series hasn’t really stopped being a thing). Despite how expected another Scream may have been, eleven years is still a large gap between entries. One would think that after the series had been resuscitated, the studio would be off to the races and churning out even more chapters. A television show was made in 2015, but the filmic resurfacing of the franchise wouldn’t appear until 2022’s Scream. This leaves Scream 4 as an island of terror, alone in an abyss of lengthy waiting periods between theatrical releases. Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox, David Arquette, and Ghostface voice actor Roger L. Jackson were all back in Woodsboro but the tone had changed by 2011. The original three features were a throwback to the mid-to-late nineties and the dawn of the new millennium but after ten years, cinematic styles had shifted. This film wouldn’t make it to any Best Of list if it wasn’t any good, and again, horror sequels are par for the course, but to me, the initial “Screams” were meant to be a singular set. Scream 4 broke a trilogy that was never going to survive on its own, but the memory is unkillable.

Oh, 2008, what a year of film you were. Perhaps the most notable sequel to come out that year was The Dark Knight, but another, more belated franchise offering exploded onto the scene like a fridge blasting off from a nuclear detonation. Years after 1989’s Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Harrison Ford whipped out his trusty whip to go on yet another big screen adventure. Much has been discussed and debated about this bizarre showcase of inter-dimensional beings and CGI monkeys, so I’ll spare you any further redundant reflections about this particular Indy outing. What I will say is that a few years ago I rewatched this movie for the first time since enduring it in the theater and it wasn’t as bad as I recalled. Yes, it’s littered with oddball creative choices, but compared to 2023’s Dial of Destiny, it is immensely more enjoyable. Kingdom presented Dr. Jones as a still believable adventurer and not quite as enfeebled, and Ford perfectly maintained his signature “perpetually kind of annoyed” face. Contributing to the grumbling was the addition of Shia LaBeouf’s Mutt character who thankfully didn’t take over the main hero role. Indiana’s son wasn’t entirely a waste of an idea, it was simply executed extremely poorly. So much so that he was (spoiler) given a proper off-screen death in Dial. Was this film’s mere existence worth destroying the trilogy status first kicked off way back when with 1981’s Raiders of the Lost Ark? Well, the fourth Indy’s only real crime was being a product of its time. There was simply no realistic way to recapture the moment in history, the cultural landscape, the state of the art, and the world itself - the cosmic ingredients that led to the creation of the first three blockbusters had come and gone. The previous movie had “Last” right there in the title, so it isn’t a stretch as to why many fans assumed there would be no more escapades for the aging archeologist. Heck, a lot of folks might’ve thought Indy himself belongs in a museum. People, though, especially actors and other famous filmmakers, for the most part have this tendency to stick around long after the “ending.” After so many decades, perhaps the fact that these icons are still above ground is enough of a reason to dust off the trademark fedora.

Toy Story 4 might be the most prolific “part four” in cinema history because 2010’s Toy Story 3 seemed crazy enough. Nine years after the film that cemented this series as an official trilogy, the fourth animated movie came out to play, making it feel like an even bigger risk. With the fifth premiering this year, it makes it seem as if the Disney/Pixar tandem is run by thrill-seekers who live to push a franchise to its limits. Why do I associate these tales of sentient toys with white-knuckling rides on the edge of a knife? This is due to the fact that not only do these cartoon flicks take a significant amount of time to produce, but each new venture in toy land appears as if there couldn’t possibly be any more to do. But these are theoretically immortal beings, so maybe Woody and Buzz et al can indeed outlive all of their human counterparts and owners.

I guess I’m shocked by each new Story because every movie feels like such a fitting sendoff. The third film shows the main toys nearly escaping what could’ve actually been an end to their plastic lives only to exist another day. After escaping a harrowing deathtrap, as well as coming to terms with the humans that they’re tethered to are growing up, well, it really did seem like the toys would be placed on the shelf.

New owners/characters have since entered the fray, and a new generation of fans has joined in on the everlasting fun. The way the newcomer Forky’s life was created introduced deeper questions about the toys’ existentialism - basically, magic and/or the power of love can animate an otherwise ordinary object. Since these concepts are getting brought up throughout the franchise, at some point I think that even in a fun family movie, some of these puzzling issues ought to be further explored. Heck, Woody straight up talked to the sadistic toy-torturer Sid in the first one in 1995, so maybe we see more of that. A toy takeover could ensue, where the sometimes-inanimate lifeforms demand to take the world they feel is rightfully theirs. They aren’t playing around anymore!

Okay, I’m overthinking things but I don’t assume I’m alone is considering the original three Toy Story films a solid trilogy. Any new sequel is a gamble, but I’m willing to give the creators their due in agreeing that they somehow pull it off each time. That being said, with this newest movie expressing how “aged” Woody is, just how much longer can the articulation hold up? That paint is going to completely chip away and be rubbed off eventually. Maybe they’ll make it to a sixth Story and there will technically be a second trilogy, bringing balance to the Force.

Happy Star Wars Day, by the way.

Books by Jon McBrine

Available at Amazon here

Available at Amazon here

Read the books? Leave a review here!

My author blog, Jonfiction, will be released on Fridays and will be a recap of my word counts, themes explored, challenges, triumphs, studies on techniques, and generally my present status in the crazy realm of being a fiction writer.

The main blog (the one you just read) will continue to be released on Mondays and will still cover hot topics to niche experimental explorations, as well as being a totally unserious slice of nerdery.

As subscribers to the Jon McBrine Newsletter, you will receive Blog updates as well as info on new works.

Note: Substack subscribers have been added to the Newsletter subscription. If you do not wish to receive Newsletter updates, you can unsubscribe or contact me directly and I will remove you. Thank you.

Stay in the loop for more details by subscribing to my Substack and be sure to check out jonmcbrine.com for more info about this and my books.

New blog every Monday. Jon McBrine Newsletter first Monday of each month via email.

In a previous note/post, I mentioned how I wasn’t sure if I could make the mashup of my name and “infotainment” work. Well, I’m not sure how much successful it is but I’m using it regardless. This blog entry is meant to be fun to read but mostly informative, detailing what’s to come in the May Newsletter along with other happenings.

Monday - May 4th, which is coincidentally a nerdly holiday - my Newsletter will be emailed to subscribers. In it, readers will have early access to the new and updated titles and synopses of the four short stories which will be featured in my upcoming prequel anthology release, Eric Icarus: Mythos.

As announced in the last Jonfiction Blog: “…my four-part prequel anthology manuscript(s) project is complete. There will be a round of edits and then formatting duties, but this companion piece to my other novels is close to being released.

I am currently working on interior art for the ‘covers’ of the individual stories of this collection. I am pumped about being this much closer to finally putting this set of stories out into the wild.”

To further recap the last Friday blog in reference to Shorts/Reels: “I’m recording a bunch in advance so there will be a dip in my output, but I’d rather have a temporary lull than a scattered non-schedule.”

Batching and prerecording videos well in advance is frustrating but it is ultimately better than a sporadic release of videos. Social media is a weird thing - despite no one saying anything, potentially not caring or presumably not even noticing, I can still feel bad about not posting. Sure, I enjoy the immediate reward of engagement but it’s also something I said I’d do, and, frankly, I’d like to stick to that.

This blog, Jonfiction, will continue to be released on Fridays on Substack and Tumblr. Why Tumblr? A Tumblr user asked me to and that was enough to get me to post on there as well.

While Jonfiction is the blog about writing, the Monday blog is where I have a bit more irreverent, eccentric, and weird fun. Based on historical data, the Top Three lists perform the best. The numbers aren’t breaking the Internet or anything, but comparatively, they do better than any other experimental exploration I’ve produced. Since I’m sticking with the Top Three lists for the time being, it may make more sense to rename the Monday blog (again) to something besides just my name. I’ve considered this in the past and decided it’s less confusing if I simply refer to it as the Jon McBrine blog. It’s not like the Top Three list thing is permanent anyway - it’s just what I like writing the most. At least for now.

If you haven’t already, join my Newsletter to get those exclusive sweet deets.

Jonfiction will be released on Fridays and will be a recap of my word counts, themes explored, challenges, triumphs, studies on techniques, and generally my present status in the crazy realm of being an author.

The main blog will continue to be released on Mondays and will still cover hot topics to niche experimental explorations, as well as being a totally unserious slice of nerdery.

As subscribers to the Jon McBrine Newsletter, you will receive Blog updates as well as info on new works.

Note: Substack subscribers have been added to the Newsletter subscription. If you do not wish to receive Newsletter updates, you can unsubscribe or contact me directly and I will remove you. Thank you.

Stay in the loop for more details by subscribing to my Substack and be sure to check out jonmcbrine.com for more info about this and my books.

New blog every Monday. Jon McBrine Newsletter first Monday of each month via email.

Available at Amazon here

Available at Amazon here

Read the books? Leave a review!

No hair? No problem! Hair-loss was turned into a time to shine for several balding action stars of the big and small screen. I have selected the top trio who have surpassed all other chrome domes in this showcase of the bald and the brave.

Top Three: Shaved-Head Heroes

There can be only three!

The Commish first aired in 1991 and cemented star Michael Chiklis as an easygoing small town police commissioner, at least, to most people. Even if you never followed the ABC network comedy-drama series, chances are that you’d recognize Chiklis and his signature ho-hum hairline. 2002 ripped that image from the zeitgeist when The Shield hit the airwaves. A TV tough guy was transplanted in the place of the lovable podunk policeman. The new millennium marked the dawn of numerous gray-area-greats, with morally ambiguous to straight-up bad dudes in shows like The Wire, Justified, Breaking Bad, and Sons of Anarchy, while continuing the chaotic character studies such as The Sopranos, Oz, and Deadwood. The biggest takeaway from the Chiklis revival was what he lost: not only was he more fit but his hair also got trimmed - really trimmed. A shaver and some sunglasses transformed Michael Chiklis into a brand new bald bad boy. The talented actor has appeared in numerous projects like American Horror Story, The Senior, and Gotham, but perhaps his most memorable role was as Ben Grimm in 2005’s Fantastic Four. The Thing’s rocky exterior didn’t leave much room for hair which was no issue for this shaved-head hero.

From the hairless Hawk on the 80s series Spenser: For Hire to a Starfleet-approved cut as Sisko in the 90s sci-fi show Star Trek: Deep Space Nine - and back again to bald in the same series. As the commander of a space station near a wormhole full of mysterious aliens, Benjamin Sisko asserted his authority in politically-charged stories that focused on the ravages of intergalactic war and exploring exotic species. Brooks began his interstellar career with hair but would eventually add a goatee beard and then, finally, he kept the facial hair but the top of his head was left bare. DS9 saw many style evolutions in uniforms, makeup, and special effects, but Sisko’s final form as a boldly-going bald captain set him apart from his Trek alum. Hey, it was already working for Patrick Stewart as Picard on Star Trek: The Next Generation, so maybe the final frontier doesn’t need hair at all.

An inspiration to receding hairlines everywhere, the legendary Bruce Willis embraced the baldness and reignited his film star status when he Armageddon’d his hair. The iconic Die Hard movies had three entries with heroic cop John McClane go from having a mostly full head of hair, a slightly thinning ’do, to a state of keeping what was left of his locks with a vengeance. Gradually, Willis bid farewell to the follicles and allowed his trademark character live free of haircuts in the fourth Die Hard in 2007. It wasn’t a good hair day, but 2013’s A Good Day To Die Hard gave McClane the opportunity to properly pass down his hereditary male pattern baldness to his son, Jack, played by Jai Courtney. Not everybody has a head-shape that can pull off looking like a cool customer - Willis was blessed with an eye-pleasing skull, which he highlighted in many motion pictures and television appearances. Willis may have played a dead person in 1999’s The Sixth Sense, but giving up the ghost was the best call for this shaven maven.

Books by Jon McBrine

Available at Amazon here

Available at Amazon here

Read the books? Leave a review here!

My author blog, Jonfiction, will be released on Fridays and will be a recap of my word counts, themes explored, challenges, triumphs, studies on techniques, and generally my present status in the crazy realm of being a fiction writer.

The main blog (the one you just read) will continue to be released on Mondays and will still cover hot topics to niche experimental explorations, as well as being a totally unserious slice of nerdery.

As subscribers to the Jon McBrine Newsletter, you will receive Blog updates as well as info on new works.

Note: Substack subscribers have been added to the Newsletter subscription. If you do not wish to receive Newsletter updates, you can unsubscribe or contact me directly and I will remove you. Thank you.

Stay in the loop for more details by subscribing to my Substack and be sure to check out jonmcbrine.com for more info about this and my books.

New blog every Monday. Jon McBrine Newsletter first Monday of each month via email.

I’m kickstarting the weekend with an exciting update: my progress and schedule outline!

You may be asking, “What are you talking about?” Or, “Who are you?” Or, “Why should I care?” I can safely answer two of those questions.

The big announcement is my four-part prequel anthology manuscript(s) project is complete. There will be a round of edits and then formatting duties, but this companion piece to my other novels is close to being released.

I am currently working on interior art for the “covers” of the individual stories of this collection. I am pumped about being this much closer to finally putting this set of stories out into the wild.

Presently, I don’t have a release date - heck, I don’t even think I’ll do ARCs or anything like that. Sure, I’ll promote this new book, but I always like to just get the stuff out there.

If you follow me, then you might have noticed that my video posts have been erratic and inconsistent. To remedy this, I’ve focused on doing the thing I said I’d do a while back, which is batching my recordings. By filming multiple short videos in one session at a scheduled time, I save myself the grief of hunting for little windows of time here and there for a rushed-recording. I’m starting small with a half hour on one weeknight during the week to film. This doesn’t sound like much, but these Reels/Shorts, etc., don’t take much. By having a dedicated time and place to knock these out, it is a relief as well as simply a more productive way to work.

I’m recording a bunch in advance so there will be a dip in my output, but I’d rather have a temporary lull than a scattered non-schedule. This break between my regular vids will be a little longer due to the fact that I’m pre-recording a project I’ve been developing for about a year…

…a podcast! After careful analysis, I determined that the world needed another podcast. I’m filming video of myself doing these and I’ll also have audio-only versions. After all the editing, this ten-part podcast project will be available on all the main podcast outlets as well as YouTube. From there, I’ll be cutting up clips to share across social media.

I don’t mean to be so precious about not revealing more details, but since it is so early in the process, I’d prefer to show more as I get nearer to the actual release.

New book, new videos, and a new podcast are on the way. I have a couple of live in-person author appearances coming up as well, so do all the follow and subscribe things to stay informed about the Jon Jungle aka Jongle (still workshopping that name).

Jonfiction will be released on Fridays and will be a recap of my word counts, themes explored, challenges, triumphs, studies on techniques, and generally my present status in the crazy realm of being an author.

The main blog will continue to be released on Mondays and will still cover hot topics to niche experimental explorations, as well as being a totally unserious slice of nerdery.

As subscribers to the Jon McBrine Newsletter, you will receive Blog updates as well as info on new works.

Note: Substack subscribers have been added to the Newsletter subscription. If you do not wish to receive Newsletter updates, you can unsubscribe or contact me directly and I will remove you. Thank you.

Stay in the loop for more details by subscribing to my Substack and be sure to check out jonmcbrine.com for more info about this and my books.

New blog every Monday. Jon McBrine Newsletter first Monday of each month via email.

Available at Amazon here

Available at Amazon here

Read the books? Leave a review!

Non-Reader Book Rec: Eye of Destiny: The Starling Chronicles by Tommy Lee-Sexton.

If you’re like me, you’re a slow reader but you still want to add novels to your to-be-read list even if you just skim through the blurb, but how do you choose what you’ll eventually—and maybe never—actually read? I got you covered.

Speaking of covers, this has the three main character brothers in a whirlwind of action, and behind them is a cool-looking logo. The boys range in their level of outerwear, and the least cold brother is front and center so he must be their leader. I am about halfway through this novel and even with my bafflingly slow reading rate, I can genuinely say this book is a ton of fun so far.

My poor reading habits do not reflect the quality of this or any other book. The fact that I’m literate to begin with is a small miracle.

The blurb: This is right up my alley—a teen drama with aliens. Plus, their dad gets plenty of “page time” and is named Jon, so he’s immediately my favorite character.

I don’t know how long it’ll take you to read Eye of Destiny, but I definitely recommend getting a copy—you’re supporting an author, and you look smarter for having more books on your shelf.

What’s on your TBR list?

Buy Eye of Destiny: The Starling Chronicles here

Learn more about Tommy Lee-Sexton here

Books by Jon McBrine

Available at Amazon here

Available at Amazon here

Read the books? Leave a review here!

My author blog, Jonfiction, will be released on Fridays and will be a recap of my word counts, themes explored, challenges, triumphs, studies on techniques, and generally my present status in the crazy realm of being a fiction writer.

The main blog (the one you just read) will continue to be released on Mondays and will still cover hot topics to niche experimental explorations, as well as being a totally unserious slice of nerdery.

As subscribers to the Jon McBrine Newsletter, you will receive Blog updates as well as info on new works.

Note: Substack subscribers have been added to the Newsletter subscription. If you do not wish to receive Newsletter updates, you can unsubscribe or contact me directly and I will remove you. Thank you.

Stay in the loop for more details by subscribing to my Substack and be sure to check out jonmcbrine.com for more info about this and my books.

New blog every Monday. Jon McBrine Newsletter first Monday of each month via email.

My time as a standup comedian wasn’t groundbreaking and I never came close to breaking the Internet. Despite my relatively brief stint in the world of comedy, I did learn a valuable lifelong lesson. Similar to how my story as a comic ended in a cliché - an open miker who eventually didn’t find performing fulfilling anymore and quietly quit - the educational experience gained from being on the stage wasn’t exactly fresh. Though it’s not a new idea, avoiding politics and religion is always the best practice. The attempt to not alienate halves of your potential audience remains a solid concept whether you’re a seasoned headliner or just some guy who decided he’d rather be an author instead of an aspiring comedian.

The literary landscape is fraught with ulterior motives that are seldom subtle. Television, movies, audiobooks, comic books, plays, and essentially all of entertainment are typically mired by a (trendy) philosophical outlook or preference. If you happen to agree with the viewpoints expressed in the episode or film, etc., then you may not be bothered by it or perhaps not even notice. Contrarily, if the story presented is a heavy-handed lecture about how your values are what’s poisoning society, then, well, that can be irritating to say the least.

Speaking of not saying much, I try to keep these blogs on the shorter side. This is mainly due to the fact that I don’t expect anyone who happens to read this to have all day to skim through my ideals. I don’t pretend like I’m doing anyone any favors, but it is still an attempt at respecting readers’ time. Considering the audience and what they may like seems to be a lost art.

In the spirit of actually trying not to meander too much, I’ll get straight(er) to the point: my books were not written with any political stance in mind. I did not intentionally set out to check off politically correct boxes. I did not adhere to any specific diversity quotas, nor did I prioritize race, gender, or orientation. I simply wrote what I thought would be a great story based on the characters and plots that naturally occurred to me. Sure, as a writer, your own personal life history and influences will play a part in developing a signature style. Saying that, though, I do not purposely create any self-insert characters. What I have released is clean fiction—YA sci-fi. My only aim was to make a book everyone could enjoy.

Much like how my standup “career” didn’t break barriers or challenge any norms, my work as an author isn’t out to reinvent any genre. I have added my unique twists and my specific voice, of course, but I didn’t come up with the initial concept of a flying costumes do-gooder. I can promote my stuff all day and talk about how it’s a newer take on the superhero category, but is the true selling point the fact that I’m not out to convert anybody?

Trying not to offend can often be playing it too safe, resulting in a milquetoast waste of shelf space. I get that, but with my novels, again, the mission statement is and always was to tell the best story possible in the best way. For me, this did not involve an agenda or some effort to change your mind about something. With an abundance of entertainment options that are clearly designed to disparage traditions, is simply not having a message a feature by itself?

I, like every other author, just want you to give my book a look. Whether it’s my superhero coming-of-age prose or one of the classics, these stories do all say something. There is no shortage of themes, tones, and vibes in the billions of available books. Fiction, fables, and true-life tales all provide lessons in some way, and deep-seated imagery and messages are common amongst them. The most celebrated tomes and pulps alike usually possess a clearly indicated mindset. The difference with these time-honored favorites is that, well, they managed to tell their stories in more clever ways. To put yet another way, modernity pretty much means “annoying.”

Clean fiction in my case means no swearing, no over the top violence, and no, ahem, intimate encounters. Spice-free does not need to mean bland. My book is not a gore-fest full of curse words. It’s pure - pure adventure, that is. Sometimes you’ll see somebody post “silence is compliance,” or something silly like that. Personally, it’s none of my business how you vote. Frankly, I don’t have to guess how most people cast their ballot because their online presences are dominated by their evident behaviors. Regardless, for anyone who merely seeking something entertaining without the prerequisite preaching, I see you. Heck yeah, I’d love it if you checked out my novels, but honestly, I hope that more and more of us who don’t want an added browbeating with their books will make our voices heard.

Is a book - or anything - not focused on an agenda enough of selling point for you? Sound off in the comments!

Jonfiction will be released on Fridays and will be a recap of my word counts, themes explored, challenges, triumphs, studies on techniques, and generally my present status in the crazy realm of being an author.

The main blog will continue to be released on Mondays and will still cover hot topics to niche experimental explorations, as well as being a totally unserious slice of nerdery.

As subscribers to the Jon McBrine Newsletter, you will receive Blog updates as well as info on new works.

Note: Substack subscribers have been added to the Newsletter subscription. If you do not wish to receive Newsletter updates, you can unsubscribe or contact me directly and I will remove you. Thank you.

Stay in the loop for more details by subscribing to my Substack and be sure to check out jonmcbrine.com for more info about this and my books.

New blog every Monday. Jon McBrine Newsletter first Monday of each month via email.

Available at Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Unsecret-Identity-Eric-Icarus-Book-ebook/dp/B0CJTK86Z5?ref_=ast_author_mpb

Available at Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0F3JQ5H7D?ref_=dbs_m_mng_wim_calw_tpbk_1&storeType=ebooks

Read the books? Leave a review!

https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/40449374.Jon_McBrine

Non-Reader Book Rec: The Resistance by Daniel House

If you’re like me, you’re a slow reader but you still want to add novels to your to-be-read list even if you just skim through the blurb. But how do you choose what you’ll eventually—and maybe never—actually read? I got you covered.

Speaking of covers, we have a pair of survivalist-looking people in cool hazmat-like suits. The fiery orange-ish wasteland background is giving Dio album cover energy which is always a good thing with me. A earlier version of the cover had cool lasers and a dystopian-looking setting. I’m getting some Terminator vibes and that’s never a bad thing… unless it’s any sequel after T2: Judgment Day. Anyway…

The blurb: it’s got a martial artist middle-schooler taking on gangs in a war-torn California. And there’s a precious metal everyone’s fighting over. Gang wars in a west coast wasteland? Sounds pretty metal to me.

My poor reading habits do not reflect the quality of this or any other book. The fact that I’m literate to begin with is a small miracle.

I don’t know how long it’ll take you to read The Resistance but I definitely recommend getting a copy—you’re supporting an author, and you look smarter for having more books on your shelf.

What’s on your TBR list?

Buy The Resistance here

Learn more about Daniel House here

Books by Jon McBrine

Available at Amazon here

Available at Amazon here

Read the books? Leave a review here!

My author blog, Jonfiction, will be released on Fridays and will be a recap of my word counts, themes explored, challenges, triumphs, studies on techniques, and generally my present status in the crazy realm of being a fiction writer.

The main blog (the one you just read) will continue to be released on Mondays and will still cover hot topics to niche experimental explorations, as well as being a totally unserious slice of nerdery.

As subscribers to the Jon McBrine Newsletter, you will receive Blog updates as well as info on new works.

Note: Substack subscribers have been added to the Newsletter subscription. If you do not wish to receive Newsletter updates, you can unsubscribe or contact me directly and I will remove you. Thank you.

Stay in the loop for more details by subscribing to my Substack and be sure to check out jonmcbrine.com for more info about this and my books.

New blog every Monday. Jon McBrine Newsletter first Monday of each month via email.

Let’s learn about villains together. Who is Clayface?

Clayface is the name shared by several villains in DC Comics, each with shapeshifting, clay-based powers. The original, however, did not share the same type of malleable biology—not during his initial storyline, that is. Basil Karlo first appeared in Detective Comics #40 in 1940 as a B-list horror actor who turned to crime with a unique monster mask. Later versions of the character gained true clay powers: Matt Hagen first appeared in Detective Comics #298 in 1961, and acquired shape-shifting abilities from an unknown substance he found while deep diving for sunken treasure.

Preston Payne first appeared in Detective Comics #478 in 1978. Payne suffered from a mutagenic disease that melted others with his touch. Out of desperation to alter his DNA, Preston injects himself with a mysterious agent isolated from the deceased Matt. The result left Preston with malleable flesh.

Others like Sondra Fuller, who first appeared in The Outsiders #21 in 1987, and Cassius Payne, first appearing in Batman: Shadow of the Bat #27 in 1994, added to the overall “Mud Pack” of Clayfaces. Sondra despised her appearance so much she allowed the evildoer known as Kobra to transform her into Lady Clay. Sondra and Preston would later develop a bizarre romance and produce their offspring, Cassius. “Cassius Clay” - get it?!

Dr. Peter Malley first shows up in Batman #550 (1998) - he is shown as a Department of Extranormal Affairs researcher studying a sample taken from Cassius. The remains of the clay-based life form absorbs itself into Peter, turning him into a “Claything.” He morphs into a large muddy creature and effectively becomes a version of Cassius searching for his parents. Peter is the only version of Clayface that only appears in one issue.

Todd Russell is first featured in Catwoman #1 (2002) - his existence formed from a fragment of a previous Clayface entity. Catwoman confronts him after investigating a series of crimes and discovers Todd is essentially an amnesiac who underwent weird scientific military experimentation. Catwoman battles the enigmatic enemy and Todd is reduced to basically a small head on an even tinier body. It remains unclear if Todd is an “official” Clayface, but he displayed similar abilities.

Johnny Williams from Batman: Gotham Knights #60 (2004) - a Gotham City firefighter with no history of crime, he lives a normal life until everything is upended during a response to a chemical plant explosion. The exposure to the mysterious substances mutates his body, turning it into a pliable, clay-like form. The villain known as Hush manipulates Johnny into participating in his latest revenge scheme against Bruce Wayne/Batman.

Basil Karlo was eventually reimagined as the most prominent incarnation, capable of shape-shifting abilities and possessing formidable strength. He is often depicted as both a tragic figure and a gruesome foe of Batman. Karlo would be featured in a story arc in a 2016 run of Detective Comics where he worked to redeem himself and fought alongside the Bat-Family.

The Karlo version of Clayface will get the live action treatment and join the ranks of solo villain movies that keep getting made for some reason.

Books by Jon McBrine

Available at Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Unsecret-Identity-Eric-Icarus-Book-ebook/dp/B0CJTK86Z5?ref_=ast_author_mpb

Available at Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0F3JQ5H7D?ref_=dbs_m_mng_wim_calw_tpbk_1&storeType=ebooks

Read the books? Leave a review!

https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/40449374.Jon_McBrine

My author blog, Jonfiction, will be released on Fridays and will be a recap of my word counts, themes explored, challenges, triumphs, studies on techniques, and generally my present status in the crazy realm of being a fiction writer.

The main blog (the one you just read) will continue to be released on Mondays and will still cover hot topics to niche experimental explorations, as well as being a totally unserious slice of nerdery.

As subscribers to the Jon McBrine Newsletter, you will receive Blog updates as well as info on new works.

Note: Substack subscribers have been added to the Newsletter subscription. If you do not wish to receive Newsletter updates, you can unsubscribe or contact me directly and I will remove you. Thank you.

Stay in the loop for more details by subscribing to my Substack and be sure to check out jonmcbrine.com for more info about this and my books.

New blog every Monday. Jon McBrine Newsletter first Monday of each month via email.

I have a unique relationship with the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. I spent many years avoiding the books, films, and any other related media because I thought it looked dumb. Not that I think it’s all that serious, but at the end of the day, I made and make all of my own decisions. That being said, for a lengthy amount of time in my slightly younger years, I was more than willing to be influenced by key figures in my social and family circle - well, it was really only one who shall not be named. I allowed my view of this beloved franchise to be skewed and I missed out on a whole darn chamber of secret fun. That doesn’t sound right.

Anyway, as I grew older, I have since shed certain negative presences and gradually warmed up to the wizards at Hogwarts. I also abandoned any notion of dismissing Harry Potter as some childish nonsense as well as the idea that I was somehow above anything. During this eventual evolution, I ceased to look down my nose at Potterheads but didn’t do much of anything else. While it was nice that I lost any sense of foolish fanboy snobbery, my attitude toward Potter became neutral.

I’m probably making myself sound older than I am and/or that Harry Potter-mania has been around longer than it has, but after even more time had passed, I finally decided to crack open the first book. Well, in my case, I powered on my Kindle as well as opened the Kindle app on my phone. Potter is such an enormous intellectual property that it’d be near impossible to ignore it. There was no way for me to not have at least some peripheral knowledge of what it is about and even learn of a few spoilers. It’s been out long enough, sure, but still I try to remain dark when it comes to blatantly intricate story info. However, I can’t get too upset if I see some detailed description of something that happens in this mega-popular series.

I’m late enough as it is to the Potter party - I’m in my forties and I’ve only read the first three books. I’m also a notoriously slow reader so it’s taking me ages to get to about halfway through Goblet of Fire, but that doesn’t reflect on the quality of the writing. It’s just that my reading habits are crap. Well, I do have one unpopular opinion confession: all the Quidditch stuff is some of my least favorite parts. Goblet has a ton so far and it was rough to get through. Being on the Triwizard whatever, just get me off the pitch.

Weird side note - due to my unfamiliarity of the books and films, I spent a lot of time thinking Prisoner of Azkaban was the fourth book. It’s like living in an alternate timeline.

I have listened to earlier editions of the audiobook versions of Books 1-3, which helped me remember what even happens because of my aforementioned sluggish reading pace. As of this writing, I have finished listening to the recently released full-cast audio productions of the first three books and am excited to start this new rendition of Goblet. I will probably complete the audio adaptation before finishing reading the book. I am going to read regardless - it’ll take both listening and reading for my brain to commit it to memory.

I still have not watched the super-famous movies. My wife advised that I read all the books before starting the films, to which I agreed. Now that I’m deeper in the books and audio versions, I think I can get away with watching the first one. Don’t tell her!

My late-blooming Potter fandom led me to be very curious and excited to see the new live action series adaptation from HBO Max. I watched the trailer and was stirred. The show has had a very public development from casting announcements to design aspects, so it wasn’t like I went in cold. Perhaps it was my cautious exceptions that caused me to be pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed the preview. My eagerness to watch the new show has also condemned me to not join in on the fun of trashing it.

I have since read and watched reviews and other people’s scalding takes. I agree with some, and others I don’t really have a strong opinion on. But even with agreeing with some takes that eviscerate the trailer, I still maintain my initial reaction of liking it. It’s odd - I agree with and enjoy listening to or watching other fans skewering the released Potter footage. Yet I know I’ll be unironically non-hate-watching. I think that’s called regular watching.

I have been won over before by things I thought I’d despise. Most notably for me was 2022’s The Batman. I was expecting to loathe it, and while it’s far from perfect, I found myself really digging it. Harry Potter as a whole is a similar scenario in my life as an entertainment consumer and overall nerd. I’m getting soft in my old middle-age!

Not that it would matter too much, but I don’t think any less of anyone posting online about how the new Potter looks like garbage, etc. All of the points are valid and it’s not like I love every little thing I’ve seen so far. I came to Hogwarts very late in life compared to many people and I still haven’t even finished the whole thing yet. It’s a rare instance for me to not already have lore-baggage preemptively altering my perception of a new adaptation.

I’m not one to shy away from a meaningless online comment section argument. I will naturally have big opinions and strong thoughts about a geeky franchise. I love to see the endless scroll of memes and other jokes absolutely destroy some terrible modern version of a beloved film, book, TV show, play, whatever. This time, though, I have to look from afar, staring out from behind my window of genuinely liking something as legions of other fans rejoice in the roasting. I envy the purebloods who are already well-versed in wands and wizardry. It’s not like I won’t find a meme funny and I certainly won’t get offended. I will only feel the somber longing of jealousy - the bittersweet bowing out of mocking the new Potter. I’ll enjoy myself either way, but darn it, I wanted to hate this, too. Why am I cursed to actually like this?!

Oh well, in the meantime, I’ll watch from the sidelines as those more knowledgeable than me thrive in the public thrashing of HBO’s latest offering. Hey, it took me a long time to give Doctor Who a chance, and this is no different. I still won’t budge from not watching anime, though. That’s one spell that won’t be broken.

Jonfiction will be released on Fridays and will be a recap of my word counts, themes explored, challenges, triumphs, studies on techniques, and generally my present status in the crazy realm of being an author.

The main blog will continue to be released on Mondays and will still cover hot topics to niche experimental explorations, as well as being a totally unserious slice of nerdery.

As subscribers to the Jon McBrine Newsletter, you will receive Blog updates as well as info on new works.

Note: Substack subscribers have been added to the Newsletter subscription. If you do not wish to receive Newsletter updates, you can unsubscribe or contact me directly and I will remove you. Thank you.

Stay in the loop for more details by subscribing to my Substack and be sure to check out jonmcbrine.com for more info about this and my books.

New blog every Monday. Jon McBrine Newsletter first Monday of each month via email.

Available at Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Unsecret-Identity-Eric-Icarus-Book-ebook/dp/B0CJTK86Z5?ref_=ast_author_mpb

Available at Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0F3JQ5H7D?ref_=dbs_m_mng_wim_calw_tpbk_1&storeType=ebooks

Read the books? Leave a review!

https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/40449374.Jon_McBrine

Let’s learn about villains together. Who is Jadis, the White Witch?

Jadis, the White Witch, is the central antagonist of C.S. Lewis’ The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. A powerful sorceress who usurps the throne of Narnia, she curses the land with eternal winter and no Christmas, ruling through fear and cruelty. The Narnians can’t even get a holiday—truly diabolical work from the Head Witch In Charge. Jadis turns her enemies to stone with a wand and seeks to kill Aslan the Lion who basically represents God.

The White Witch also has it in for the Pevensie children who came to this realm via an enchanted closet. Jadis is ultimately defeated when Aslan sacrifices himself and rises again, leading to her downfall in battle.

In the 2005 film adaptation, Jadis was played by Tilda Swinton, who had her costumes designed to look almost sculpted from ice. So, some of her gowns literally incorporated shards of recycled glass and icicle-like details to emphasize her “cold” persona. With so many sharp edges on her costume, I’m sure that while filming her scenes, Tilda Swinton needed a lot of… cuts.

Books by Jon McBrine

Available at Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Unsecret-Identity-Eric-Icarus-Book-ebook/dp/B0CJTK86Z5?ref_=ast_author_mpb

Available at Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0F3JQ5H7D?ref_=dbs_m_mng_wim_calw_tpbk_1&storeType=ebooks

Read the books? Leave a review!

https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/40449374.Jon_McBrine

My author blog, Jonfiction, will be released on Fridays and will be a recap of my word counts, themes explored, challenges, triumphs, studies on techniques, and generally my present status in the crazy realm of being a fiction writer.

The main blog (the one you just read) will continue to be released on Mondays and will still cover hot topics to niche experimental explorations, as well as being a totally unserious slice of nerdery.

As subscribers to the Jon McBrine Newsletter, you will receive Blog updates as well as info on new works.

Note: Substack subscribers have been added to the Newsletter subscription. If you do not wish to receive Newsletter updates, you can unsubscribe or contact me directly and I will remove you. Thank you.

Stay in the loop for more details by subscribing to my Substack and be sure to check out jonmcbrine.com for more info about this and my books.

New blog every Monday. Jon McBrine Newsletter first Monday of each month via email.

I never wanted this to happen.

I have completed the first draft of a prequel novella which was supposed to be a short and quick project. Instead of a few weeks, the writing took around seven months. The whole point of making a fourt-part anthology of short stories was that it should be a fast turnaround. It was intended to be a product to release between full-length novel publications. I knew it’d take me a geologic age to finish another manuscript. Plus, it’d really look better to have three total books that take place in this fictional universe instead of the current two. Well, technically there are already a pair of ebook prequel shorts available now. These stories will be made in print for the first time when they are collected with the new novellas. The anthology will, of course, consist of four standalone stories, and, yes, two of them have already been made. Yet a year later, after having now completed the two remaining shorts, the full collection hasn’t been released yet.

It’s disappointing for me to have to delay even more and then still have to work on an actual full novel after this. At the same time, though, the experience is too much fun. After all, this is all just me deciding to create content for a fictional world I invented. There are no specific demands and no direct rules.

My eagerness to show new creations pesters me when another day goes by and I still don’t have a brand new piece of literature to share with the world. This same anxiousness tempts me to not even make real promotional efforts and simply release the darn anthology when it is done. The four novella collection is essentially a companion piece to the first two books of the Eric Icarus series anyway. Anthologies aren’t known to be big sellers. Or maybe they are; I don’t know. I have no expectations other than to eventually have three books to showcase that represent this make believe world. That is, until the actual Book Three is out.

As I stated, the first two shorts are available now as ebooks and the other two brand new stories will be exclusively included in this upcoming collection. The four tales will indeed be prequels taking place at different points in time prior to the events of Unsecret Identity: Eric Icarus - Book One. Each novella stands on its own and you wouldn’t be required to read all of the adventures for them to make sense. However, they do exist in the same world and timeline. So, there will be references but I am not relying on anyone to have read any of the other stories or books.

The Supervillain’s Oath and Avenge Her will remain available in their current formats but when they get included in the anthology, that’s when they’ll get put into print for the first time. This is particularly exciting for me because Oath was my very first release. It wasn’t the first thing I ever wrote, but it did launch my little catalog of works. To see it printed and bound in a physical paperback will be surreal. The anthology will also be in ebook form as well.

What is this anthology even about, anyway? This 4-part story collection bridges the gap between the city’s established cybernetic “Super Society” and the arrival of its first naturally powered hero. Before Eric Boxworth became the maskless sensation known as Eric Icarus, the world of New St. Cloud City was already teeming with secret histories and tech-driven heroics.

I never meant for the output to take as long as it has, but I’m hyped for the result. Now that the last two novella manuscripts have been finished, it’s a matter of editing, formatting, and eventually releasing. The technical part about editing shouldn’t last too long, though…

Jonfiction will be released on Fridays and will be a recap of my word counts, themes explored, challenges, triumphs, studies on techniques, and generally my present status in the crazy realm of being an author.

The main blog will continue to be released on Mondays and will still cover hot topics to niche experimental explorations, as well as being a totally unserious slice of nerdery.

As subscribers to the Jon McBrine Newsletter, you will receive Blog updates as well as info on new works.

Note: Substack subscribers have been added to the Newsletter subscription. If you do not wish to receive Newsletter updates, you can unsubscribe or contact me directly and I will remove you. Thank you.

Stay in the loop for more details by subscribing to my Substack and be sure to check out jonmcbrine.com for more info about this and my books.

New blog every Monday. Jon McBrine Newsletter first Monday of each month via email.

Available at Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Unsecret-Identity-Eric-Icarus-Book-ebook/dp/B0CJTK86Z5?ref_=ast_author_mpb

Available at Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0F3JQ5H7D?ref_=dbs_m_mng_wim_calw_tpbk_1&storeType=ebooks

Read the books? Leave a review!

https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/40449374.Jon_McBrine

Let’s learn about villains together. Who is Alexander Vosch?

From The Fifth Wave series of books by Rick Yancey, Colonel Alexander Vosch is a high-ranking military leader working with the alien invaders known as “the Others” - not to be confused with the other Others from the television series Lost. Vosch orchestrates much of humanity’s downfall, manipulating survivors and child soldiers to further the aliens’ plan of eradicating humans. A self-hating human, you hate to see it. Vosch serves as both a mentor and a deceiver, embodying the ruthless, calculating face of the invasion until his ultimate defeat.

In the 2016 film adaptation, Vosch is played by Liev Schreiber. This makes him one of the few alien-sympathizer overlords in YA adaptations who also voices Spider-Man’s nemesis Kingpin in the 2018 movie Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse. Though I’m not sure how many YA overlords voicing Spidey villains there were to begin with. I guess he’s the only one… so far!

Books by Jon McBrine

Available at Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Unsecret-Identity-Eric-Icarus-Book-ebook/dp/B0CJTK86Z5?ref_=ast_author_mpb

Available at Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0F3JQ5H7D?ref_=dbs_m_mng_wim_calw_tpbk_1&storeType=ebooks

Read the books? Leave a review!

https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/40449374.Jon_McBrine

My author blog, Jonfiction, will be released on Fridays and will be a recap of my word counts, themes explored, challenges, triumphs, studies on techniques, and generally my present status in the crazy realm of being a fiction writer.

The main blog (the one you just read) will continue to be released on Mondays and will still cover hot topics to niche experimental explorations, as well as being a totally unserious slice of nerdery.

As subscribers to the Jon McBrine Newsletter, you will receive Blog updates as well as info on new works.

Note: Substack subscribers have been added to the Newsletter subscription. If you do not wish to receive Newsletter updates, you can unsubscribe or contact me directly and I will remove you. Thank you.

Stay in the loop for more details by subscribing to my Substack and be sure to check out jonmcbrine.com for more info about this and my books.

New blog every Monday. Jon McBrine Newsletter first Monday of each month via email.

Are you looking for unsolicited writing advice from an author you’ve never seen before? Well, you’re in luck because I’m a largely unknown writer and I’m more than willing to share tips that no one asked for!

Let’s talk dialogue structure - or rather, setting up dialogue. When composing narration, I try to keep in mind the reader’s flow of info-intake. Descriptive action has, or at least, can have a certain written rhythm to it. Just ask George Lucas about how stories have stanzas and can rhyme much like poetry. Flowery notions of literature aside, when it comes down to it, the beats of a page need to keep proper time.

To make things even simpler, I’ll outline my outlook like this: if you have narration before a line of dialogue, it’s best to usually address or establish who is about to be speaking.

Example:

Bill stepped inside the cramped phone booth, glancing around through the clear, narrow windowpanes. Squinting past the summer sun’s glare across the glass, Bill scanned the otherwise empty street and nearby neighborhood houses.

“Nothing to be alarmed about,” Bill said under his breath. “I’m just a regular teenager doing something totally normal and making a very boring phone call. Absolutely no messing with the universe going on here!”

Once satisfied that no one around the convenience store parking lot noticed him, Bill picked up the glossy black phone. He placed it against his ear, acting nonchalant while straightening his short white sleeves and taking casual looks at his sneakers hiding under his bootcut jeans. He checked out his reflection in the aluminum lining the booth’s interior. He fluffed his curly blonde hair while eyeing the mart’s entrance.

Ted took brisk steps through the automatically sliding doorway carrying an extra large soda in each hand. His long dark hair swung over his grinning face as he moseyed past a few parked sedans and made his way to the booth. He held the drinks away from his chest as to not risk dropping syrupy cola onto his black vest. The aroma of the nachos from inside the store wafted into Bill’s nostrils making him wish he had instructed his pal to also order food, but he knew there was no time.

We’re about to fix the time issue, though! Bill thought with a smirk.

“I spent my last coins getting these,” Ted said, “so I dunno how we’re going to make a call.”

“Ted, dude, we don’t really need quarters to contact Rufus!”

Ted laughed, bucking his head, spilling droplets of soda onto his vest.

End scene!

Okay, regardless of how much you enjoyed that masterful brief bit of prose, hopefully it accomplished its ultimate goal of basic coherency. Achieving the bare minimum of having a reader at least understand what is going on is really what every author is after. Anyway, the point is, even without explicitly establishing that Ted was about to speak before he had his line, it still didn’t come out of the blue that Ted did indeed talk. It is in no way a necessity to do this, and I get even attempting to lessen your total word count. Still, here is what I like to do:

Example revision:

The aroma of the nachos from inside the store wafted into Bill’s nostrils making him wish he had instructed his pal to also order food, but he knew there was no time.

We’re about to fix the time issue, though! Bill thought with a smirk.

Ted lifted the perspiring cups, letting the condensation wet his hands in the afternoon heat.

“I spent my last coins getting these,” Ted said, “so I dunno how we’re going to make a call.”

Bill rolled his eyes.

“Ted, dude, we don’t really need quarters to contact Rufus!”

End scene again!

In this slight rewrite, Ted is given a short sort-of preamble to his dialogue. It adds a modicum of depth to what he is doing and the overall setting. Since I wanted to clarify as much of what and who these characters are in such a short time, I have Bill mention his age as he assures himself that nobody is watching him. Am I the most clever man to ever live? Time will tell.

The small passage also essentially tells the reader that Ted will be speaking next or will have an action of some kind. While the general point-of-view is Bill’s, this shifts the focus to Ted as a way for the reader to (hopefully) more easily track the order of events. Bill also having a tiny setup for his rejoinder is, of course, optional. In this sample, I reckoned it’d be best to have one minuscule setup for both of them. Besides, fair is fair!

Again, none of this required. Some readers and/or fellow authors may scoff at this idea claiming it to be a nonsensical waste of time. I can’t really argue anyone’s opinion on this particular matter. This is merely my preferred method. Now, if you want to point out technical errors and grammatical mistakes, then I’m open to that. This unique technique, however, is nothing more than my subjective preference.

A few other details I’d like to draw attention to: I describe what the characters look like and what they are wearing, at least partially. Identifying every article of clothing would be tedious even for me. Saying that, though, since I write clean fiction, I don’t want anyone to think my characters are hanging out in public in the buff. I try to mix in these outfit descriptions into the narration as part of an action. Other writers straight up take a timeout and list every layer, and that can and has worked for numerous scribes more successful than me. It all comes down to what your style is. Also, I happen to not use adverbs too much, but every now and again you can have one as a treat.

Bill is the “main character” of this bite-size scene, and he has his abbreviated arc, but Ted also has a mini-subplot. He tries to avoid spilling soda but ends up doing so due to enthusiastic laughter. Side characters need their own little stories, too, ya know!

Another tidbit is I like to incorporate smells into the scene. I find it helps add to the immersion.

After Bill rolls his eyes, it was obvious he’d be talking next, so no dialogue tag was deemed necessary by yours truly. Even I have limits when it comes to potentially over-explaining narrative action. Still, I enjoy including a reaction or anything to add more characterization.

Another challenge is not repeating words. This can be a fun puzzle for the writer, and it can help prevent monotony, but sometimes a thing is just called what it is.

Believe it or not, I almost never use “just” in narration. I don’t know, it just feels weird. You can go nuts in dialogue, though, just as long as if that’s how the character talks.

One final thing is I typically don’t let my narrative paragraphs linger too much in pure introspective speculation. I normally don’t drift too far from describing what is actually going on. It’s not first-person POV, and not strictly present tense, but still, I intend to keep the story rolling. Earlier in the narrative, which is designed to be from Bill’s perspective, he ponders about the concept of time. I follow that with inner dialogue. Bill’s thoughts are a direct action that, to me, justifies the meandering descriptive text.

There you have it, my two cents as an author because no one demanded it!

Let me know how much of a silly dum-dum I am in the comments!

Jonfiction will be released on Fridays and will be a recap of my word counts, themes explored, challenges, triumphs, studies on techniques, and generally my present status in the crazy realm of being an author.

The main blog will continue to be released on Mondays and will still cover hot topics to niche experimental explorations, as well as being a totally unserious slice of nerdery.

As subscribers to the Jon McBrine Newsletter, you will receive Blog updates as well as info on new works.

Note: Substack subscribers have been added to the Newsletter subscription. If you do not wish to receive Newsletter updates, you can unsubscribe or contact me directly and I will remove you. Thank you.

Stay in the loop for more details by subscribing to my Substack and be sure to check out jonmcbrine.com for more info about this and my books.

New blog every Monday. Jon McBrine Newsletter first Monday of each month via email.

Available at Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Unsecret-Identity-Eric-Icarus-Book-ebook/dp/B0CJTK86Z5?ref_=ast_author_mpb

Available at Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0F3JQ5H7D?ref_=dbs_m_mng_wim_calw_tpbk_1&storeType=ebooks

Read the books? Leave a review!

https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/40449374.Jon_McBrine

Let’s learn about villains together. Who is Cardan Greenbriar?

Cardi G is a central character in author Holly Black’s The Folk of the Air book series. The youngest and least favored prince of Elfhame, the Faerie Cardan grows up neglected, bitter, and cruelly playful, masking deep insecurity with arrogance. Well, I wouldn’t know anything about insecurity, mainly because I’m so great. Anyway, over time, through his complicated relationship with the human Jude Duarte, the “Cruel Prince” transforms from a scheming, reckless royal into the High King of Elfhame, learning to embrace both his power and his vulnerabilities.

Cardan has a long, expressive tail—something he often uses for dramatic flair, like curling it around himself when sulking or flicking it when annoyed. This makes it as much a part of his personality as his sharp tongue. Like Barf from Spaceballs, Cardan’s tail appears to have a mind of its own.

Drop your corrections and “well, actually’s” in the comments. Who do you want to learn about next?

Available at Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/Unsecret-Identity-Eric-Icarus-Book-ebook/dp/B0CJTK86Z5?ref_=ast_author_mpb

Available at Amazon

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0F3JQ5H7D?ref_=dbs_m_mng_wim_calw_tpbk_1&storeType=ebooks

Read the books? Leave a review!

https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/40449374.Jon_McBrine

My author blog, Jonfiction, will be released on Fridays and will be a recap of my word counts, themes explored, challenges, triumphs, studies on techniques, and generally my present status in the crazy realm of being a fiction writer.

The main blog (the one you just read) will continue to be released on Mondays and will still cover hot topics to niche experimental explorations, as well as being a totally unserious slice of nerdery.

As subscribers to the Jon McBrine Newsletter, you will receive Blog updates as well as info on new works.

Note: Substack subscribers have been added to the Newsletter subscription. If you do not wish to receive Newsletter updates, you can unsubscribe or contact me directly and I will remove you. Thank you.

Stay in the loop for more details by subscribing to my Substack and be sure to check out jonmcbrine.com for more info about this and my books.

New blog every Monday. Jon McBrine Newsletter first Monday of each month via email.