“You might find yourself compelled, upon first coming into contact with Milk Fed, the junior clothing line designed by Sofia Coppola, to dismiss the range as exclusive and ultra-hip; the type of line that is worn only by young private schoolgirls from Manhattan who are in the know.

You might be a little annoyed by the fact that Milk Fed doesn’t seem to both itself with advertising or with any consideration of marketing to your tastes, or even with paying attention to any of the rules that you’ve come to associate with the branding of new fashion.”

— [Originally appeared in metro.pop, Spring 2002]

You know, I could be like 80% of you and ask ChatGPT to “make the intro for my new Substack series called “analyzing” that will be just me ranting and showing my elaborate research of topics i love and care about very much”,but that would spoil the fun, wouldn’t it?

I’m very obsessed with some particular things that happened (not only in the 90s, but mostly in the 90s) in pop culture, and I guess this is my way of validating myself. You must read it. Anyway,

here’s me analyzing milk fed by Sofia Coppola.

One of my closest friends is throwing a karaoke party this Saturday….

and, as one naturally does, you’re kind of obligated to wear a wig. Like, a serious wig. Not the kind of wig your uncle uses cause he’s balding.

I immediately thought about a pink bob wig. The pink bob is a cult classic, but before it consolidated itself into the modern woman’s “I’M DIFFERENT! I AM DRUNK AND IN A WIG AND IT IS A PINK BOB.”, it probably was just a wig sitting in Sofia Coppola’s messy office.

⭑ SOFIA ⭑

Read more

If you're an avid Certified reader, you know that I put a lot of myself into what I do.

My decision to take a step back from writing earlier this year had a lot to do with me needing to heal from many things that happened in my life, but it also had to do with me needing to prepare for this next step, as someone who, in quite a short amount of time, gained a bunch of new friends, and, alongside that, also gained a lot of responsabilities.

This website is my life. It has been (and it still is) a reflection of who I am and what I'm going through, and I wanted Certified's new look to match this new phase of my life.

In the months I was absent, all I ever wished and longed for was to get back here, but I knew that, almost approaching our landmark of 6.000 subscribers, I needed to step up my game as much as I possibly could. Lots of new writers with fresh voices and clean concepts were arriving, and you know I like to innovate, so the urge to create something new was growing, and growing, and growing…

So, we're here!!

Paid subscriptions (and exclusive new paid posts) are back! If you were a previous paid subscriber to Certified and wish to discontinue your subscription, that's ok! I will be so sad to see you go, but your seat will never be taken by someone else!! I'll keep it nice and warm for your return, I promise.

If you are, in fact, going to continue with your subscription (and if you're thinking about signing up for this journey with me), you'll be receiving:

⭑ - Full access to our STAR VAULT

⭑- My famously known monthly writing prompts

⭑- Pieces about all the art I've been loving and consuming (books, movies, songs)

⭑- Exclusive essays (aaaand more pieces)

⭑- Exclusive collabs with other Substack writers

⭑- The possibility of starting new threads in our Certified groupchat

You can say I've been carefully curating, plotting, scheming and dreaming of this. It's worth it. You'll see!

Subscribe now

OH!!!! OH! OH! HEY! Another thing I wanted to talk to you about!!!!!

I know many of you love the elements and ideas I use to create my Substack post covers, it's truly something I ADORE doing, so all of the covers (+ the elements I use) will now be available as stickers/magnets so you can purchase them in my very cute Redbubble shop. I KNOW! You can all put this cuteness anywhere you'd like.

It's a chance to support this one girl only show and own the cutest stickers you've ever seen. Every collab I post with another Substacker will receive it's own special sticker with a design that represents us both, so it's also a chance to support Substack writers in general. I'm calling it STAR SHOP.

⭑ STAR SHOP LINK

The link is also in my bio, if you ever want to check it out!

That's all for today. The creative director finds herself very sleep deprived.

Unknown date (!), 2026.

“I don’t eat.

It’s been months since I last ate a full meal, I've been refusing it. I simply don’t feel like it. Eating (or not eating), well, this relationship with food is the repression of a great, deep Lacanian desire, something I can’t control. It consumes my being. My superego masks it. I desire, I yearn, I beg. And I don’t eat.

I reject everything external, I vomit myself up, I eat myself, I swallow myself and reject myself, just as I do with everything that is unknown to me. I don’t satisfy the physical hunger to be, to feel, to live! I don’t satisfy what I so long for, and I don’t kill what kills me. I wanted to go back to being that girl who saw everything, who felt everything and who WAS EVERYTHING! Who liked everything and hated everything and experienced everything.

All I know is that I don’t eat. I don’t eat because I can’t satisfy my hunger to be with him. I love him and I need to run away from him. He's an illness that afflicts me, knocks me down, but that simply doesn’t surprise me. I, so full of life, have become immaterial. I am something to him, but I swear I don’t know what I am. I wish he would tell me who I am. If I run away from him, maybe I’ll find out. For now, I don’t eat, I don’t sleep, I don’t think.”

I don't come here as often as I could, because this place reminds me that I could be back here sooner, writing as I used to, responding to good energy and to good people. Good words, too. I was lucky enough to befriend all of the so-called “Substack greats”.

I lost so much.

Mary Oliver famously wrote: “In the beginning I was so young and such a stranger to myself I hardly existed”. After a year and a half just surviving a toxic relationship, I can't fully say that I can read that without crying. I guess many people here can understand the feeling of slowly losing the things that were kind of essential to your existence because of someone, or because of something.

When the world is colorful, hopeful, and you love your life when you're with that person, and when they stop replying, and they hurt you purposefully, and you suddenly hate yourself, that's when you know that you need to find yourself again.

Please know that I cried my eyes out when I saw that I (out of nowhere) managed to get six thousand subscribers here, even though I have not been the best friend (and the best writer) I know I could be for months. I don't know, that kind of made me believe in myself again. I felt like coming here again, just for a brief moment.

You can (and you will) find yourself again. Slowly, but surely.

I know it takes some courage to be here, but I've always said that I wanted to help those living situations like these by sharing my own experiences. That's what Certified has always been about.

You're not doing anything wrong by deciding to live and by deciding to reshape your life. You deserve it, you deserve to let it go. You're choosing life, and that's the wisest decision anyone can ever make. Choose yourself, because that's who was always there for you.

That's all I can say for now.

“In the beginning I was so young and such a stranger to myself I hardly existed. I had to go out into the world and see it and hear it and react to it, before I knew at all who I was, what I was, what I wanted to be.”

Mary Oliver, Upstream.

P.S: i'll be back!!!! don't worry! :)

You might know her as that one writer that you see in your mailbox and get instant chills, or that writer who is, in fact, a love-child of Bukowski and Plath. You’ve probably heard of ‘My so-called life’ (if not, what are you doing), and you’ve probably heard of . Amongst the boring alpha male takes on society and random rants from that eighteen year old writer who thinks she might actually be Jesus Christ reincarnated, she’s the shining light in the mailbox. Yes, you might know her as Sudana Krasniqi, but I am proud to say that I know her as my friend Su.

It took me a long time to put this together and write this introduction because I’d like to think that we grew our substacks together and figured it out what the fuck should we write about at the same time period, which can be also called “finding our writing voice”, and we both have walked beautiful paths inside this platform by doing our own thing. I have so much respect for Sudana (the writer) and Sudana (the person), and both versions have been nothing but supportive of this crazy fever dream that I like to call my newsletter.

I’ve honestly been here for so long, and I pretty much can tell that everything is starting to sound the same around this place, but I swear to God that Sudana keeps getting better and better at this. Su, you should start working on your book and I absolutely mean it. This woman is a fucking genius and reading this woman has made me laugh and cry at the same time so many times that I think I might just call her an ex-boyfriend of mine.

I love her to death (you probably do, too), I admire her a lot, I’m inspired by her, and if you don’t know her, you do now.

I couldn’t be happier about that.

1. ‘My so-called life’ is one of the most original, captivating newsletters Substack is proud to have, it genuinely is like a religious text to me and to some of my friends as well, and it has helped us navigate difficult phases and relationships (with ourselves, with other people), and it keeps everyone at the edge of their seats EVERY SINGLE TIME a new post comes out. You could talk about a plastic bag and I’d be devouring it. So, with that being said, how do you come up with ideas/themes to write about?

   : Writing to me is a bit like crochet — I spend days, even weeks, snagging at wayward pieces and stitching them together until they resemble something I can pass off as whole. It can be a vivid memory, a line I heard in a dream, a song I can’t stop hitting repeat on, an eavesdropped conversation, sometimes all of the above. It’s rare that I begin something with clear direction of how I want it to go, and surely this comes with its own frustrations and requires patience I don’t always have, but I find my best work comes from moments where I am not overly cerebral about the finicky details and let the words take shape however they may. Leonard Cohen said it best, “if I knew where songs came from I’d go there more often.”

2. As I’ve said in the introduction I’ve written while eating christmas dinner leftovers and crying over how much I love you and how much I’ve loved what you did with your genius newsletter, I realized we’ve never talked about what made us get here! Much has been said about the path we’re walking, but I genuinely wanted to know: What made you start your own newsletter?

   : The answer to this is both simple and then not — a few years ago, after one too many negative experiences with social media, I deactivated my IG and Facebook accounts. I found Substack a suitable place for me to tap into my writing, set goals, and mingle with like-minded people. The creative, softer side of myself was lost in the shuffle of the “daily grind”, substances with whiskey chasers, and a sea of relationships that wiped out any of my emotional capacity to nurture the poet that lived somewhere inside of me. I’m humbled and grateful to have anything at all that resembles an “audience” and am truly humbled by the response.

3. One of the reasons why we bonded so much is a favorite author we share, our beloved Tony. I know Anthony Bourdain means as much to you as he means to me, and a bond over shared love for someone is such a lovely bond to have. I will cherish that forever. You probably knew this one was coming!! So… I would love to know how much Anthony Bourdain (and other authors like him) has influenced your writing style. I see so much of him in you.

   : When I read this question, I cried for about ten minutes straight on the subway platform and then immediately laughed out loud thinking about how much Anthony would roast me for it. Where do I begin? Tony is the kind of New Yorker, writer, and person I aspire to be — charismatic, warm, passionate, never could say no to a beer, a little ornery and flawed, but always honest. And god, so damn funny! I’ve struggled with a lot of the same demons he did, celebrated each of his successes, and took them as an example that though we may be imperfect, we can still achieve great things.

   One of my favorite Tony moments was sometime after the release of “Kitchen Confidential”. He was invited to speak to a small Florida State writing class and said being amongst a slew of students who care about his craft was the first time he was able to leave a room feeling like an actual writer.

   That look of wonder and gratitude on his face is the way I like to remember him— a great man who’d arguably seen it all, yet still made room for the world to surprise, humble and move him. If I’m being honest, I struggle with his decision to take his own life often, and I probably always will, but that’s not for me to understand. Sometimes loving someone means loving the parts you don’t understand too.

4. So many posts we see in ‘My so-called life’ are about subjects that are not easy to approach, yet you do it masterfully. You’re able to be graceful, funny and very deep while writing about hard things to talk about, something that makes you stand out from everyone else, because everything you write about is extremely important, especially to women. How do you get in a good mental space to write about past situations in your life?

   : I don’t know that there is such a thing as a good mental space when writing about heavy experiences like drug addiction, depression, heartbreak, family trauma, low self-esteem etc. but I find that getting it out on paper brings me some sense of peace afterwards.

   It’s cathartic and freeing to allow your most vulnerable and fucked up parts to live somewhere other than just inside of your head. It’s then that you find that even when you are at your worst, chances are everyone else has been some version of their worst too, and can relate. It’s very important to me that I do this with some semblance of grace and humor still intact because hell, I like to laugh and laugh loudest at myself. Life is equal parts both serious business and absurd, and I think that’s beautiful.

5. Posts like “i miss my collarbones”, “he calls me “babygirl”, and “knocking the stars out of the nightsky” have been major hits (and they are definitely on my list of favorites from you) and people are so in awe of you and so impressed by your writing style and by the way you’re a natural storyteller. I can’t help but ask: What is the future of ‘My so-called life’? Is a memoir/novel coming? Please tell me about it!!!

   : Hats off to novelists because I really think I could never! I don’t know that I’ve got one big ol’ story in me but I sure as hell have dozens of smaller ones I’d love to live to tell. I’m working on a short-story/ essay collection— think Mary Gaitskill’s “Bad Behavior” meets Eve Babitz “Slow Days Fast Company”. Watch this space.

Here are all the amazing conversations I've had in 2025! Who knows, I may have talked to your favorite Substack writer and you didn't even notice it.

In 2025:

I talked to about who's the reader, about referencing all sorts of media in writing, what she hopes someone feels while reading her work and we talked about her biggest influences in writing. Eve puts so much feeling into everything she does, so it was a pleasure to be able to talk to her about it.

I also had the PLEASURE of spending a day at club with one of my favorite writers, ! Everything she does is FULL of thought and I've been wanting to interview her for AGES. We talked about newsletter designing and branding, and my own branding has improved so much after this conversation. It was truly a masterclass from the best.

I was shaking when said yes to our conversation and months later I am still shaking because I can't believe it even happened. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! It definitely was one of my favorite things I've ever done. I also remember writing it in my favorite coffee shop and asking the barista for the playlist that was playing just so I could keep that moment in my brain forever.

If I could give you a list of the 10 most essential writers to subscribe to in here, would definitely be on that list. No words can ever describe all of the feelings that I felt while writing to her, and no words can ever describe how emotional I was while reading what she wrote back to me.

yes, the rumors ARE true, I do have my own cheat sheet! This was one of my favorite things that I have ever done in THE HISTORY of this baby newsletter and I'm so honored to be a part of it! SO EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU !!!!

Ad Hoc

Amanda's guide to empathy and self-knowledge.

AMANDA is a true force!!! Her voice is opinionated, clear, and distinct from any other writer I’ve met on this platform. She writes the Substacks Certified. and Underlined. about literature, writing, and human passion. I am very excited to share her cheat sheet with all of you…

Read more

9 months ago · 70 likes · 18 comments · Arden Yum and AMANDA

It sucks that I have to make this shorter so you can also read this on email but I have talked to my beautiful friend of once again, alongside (I LOVE THEM SO MUCH) and , of !

YOU CAN READ IT HERE!!!!!!

I've also talked to , , and for my 5k special (such a big moment for me)!!!

YOU CAN READ IT HERE!!

I was an infiltrated fashion writer for a day and I spoke to , , , and the LOVELY from .

YOU CAN READ IT HERE!!!

I also celebrated poetry with my dearest , , and , from .

YOU CAN READ IT HERE!!

I also talked to my beautiful best friend about her most recent reads for my other newsletter,

YOU CAN READ IT HERE!!!

Now that you have seen how much I've talked in 2025, I can't help but ask: Who do you want me to talk to in 2026? I'm all ears. Also, who wants to do this with me again?Please let me know, because I'd love to get together again soon.

New overpriced Leuchtturm1917 notebook, new pens, hopefully new boyfriend (cuz the old one kinda sucked), and especially new writing ideas. I don't know if you've been catching up with the news, but we are in the year of the horse, aaaand according to chinesenewyear.net, Horse is confident, agreeable, and responsible. You should be like that with your writing prompts as well.

So, as promised, here are your january writing prompts to start your year wonderfully! Journal away (with me)! I want to be even closer to you this year, so promise we will do these together!!!

To spice things up, each prompt comes with a rule you should follow. Cool, right?

begin - january

Day 1
Prompt: Write one sentence you want to believe this year.
Rule: Do NOT explain it.

Day 2
Prompt: What feels unfinished (or maybe paused) from last year?
Rule: Write for 5 minutes ONLY.

Read more

I also wanted to honor a literature teacher I had in high school, who taught me to be present in everything that I do, and who sadly passed away before seeing all the friends I finally was able to make, not because of social status, or appearance, but because of shared love. I could finally share all the love I felt for my experiences, my favorite authors, Anthony Bourdain (if you know about this one, you have been a part of my life for a long time and that's so scary, but cool), and finally, literature. My reason of starting this newsletter in the first place (funnily enough).

Fast forward to a year later, and we still have so much to talk about, so much to experience together, so much love to cultivate and to grow, so many new people that are going to be so important in my future journey. My beautiful dear A, my favorite teacher, what would you say if you saw all of this? You'd probably freak out over the fact that I'm also studying to be someone else's favorite teacher, one day. Professor, in fact. But I'll never be “Professor” to you. Or to anyone reading this.

Trust me, writing for Substack and seeing so many people I admire just amaze me every time makes me think that there's always something to learn, every single day. That's what we're here for. This is the place to forget about boring titles and tiring daily lives. This is the place to dream BIG. This is the place to talk about your interests like you're a child again and this is the place to be heard. It has certainly healed me, in a lot of ways.

So you should start. I mean it!!!!!!! Even though it's just you and the void for a while. Being here and dedicating a while of your time to write your fiction, recipes, a funny story about your life and truly connecting with people regardless of who you are, or what you do will change you in ways you didn't even know were possible. Your Substack account is YOUR place, your little thought village, your sacred space for sharing what you always wanted to read. Nothing is uninteresting, nothing is too niche.

Before we head into all the amazing things we’re going to do together in 2026, I sincerely wanted to say thank you to every single person who decided to subscribe, like and comment on the posts of this beautiful mess I am proudly to call Certified. Also, thank you so much for sticking around and letting me be your mailman for literature news in Certified’s sister,

Thank you for keeping up with all the rebrands and new things (I promise I'm finally satisfied with what we have now). I’ve also been so very INCREDIBLY sick this 2025, so thank you for the patience. Thank you for the kind words and messages and caps lock dms that say “GIRL ARE YOU OK?”, I appreciate it so much. Turns out I may need to read your words as much as you need to read my words.

You'll watch me grow older with you, once you hit that subscribe button, you know it's forever, right?!

Jokes aside (or maybe not), you make my life better in so many ways, and I am always so grateful to see that I have not been speaking into the void this whole time, never.

There’s so much to do, so much to see, so much to write about. So many cool people to cross paths with… A writer never gets old, my mother said to me one time.

I love you, happy new year.

you should start.

It turns out my personal arcana is The Tower.

I Thought that it was quite strange. I am stable! Are you kidding me? I’m the most rational, logical, normal person I know. Maybe the second most rational person I know, because my virgo father will be reading all of this and he will say its all bullshit (with love). But as my father also says, people have to believe in something. People cannot live purposeless lives, but its hard to see any purpose when you’re constantly working towards an abstract version of your purpose. That is, being in your 20s and overworked by something that you think you should be doing. That’s not my point, sorry.

THE TOWER. The scariest tarot card maybe ever. At least for me.

“The Tower, as Personal Arcana, indicates a mission to build, destroy, and rebuild. Cultivate emotional resilience to overcome adversities and continuously rebuild yourself, working on forgiveness and overcoming grievances.”

Trust me, while living with The Tower, you’ll think you’re ok. Everything is under control. It’s Tuesday. What could POSSIBLY happen on a Tuesday?!

Until you feel it.

That shiver down your spine.

It’s Tuesday, and you’ll never be the same again. Your best friend of twelve years will disappear, your boyfriend will cheat on you, you’ll suddenly find yourself quitting your corporate job because you can’t handle your boss hitting on you, you’ll lose your stable ground. You’ll suffer.

It’s Tuesday and it will be the first day of the rest of your life. It will happen once every three years. It will NEVER fail. Once every three years, the card comes to destroy the arrogance of my youth. The arrogance to think people will never leave me, because I would never do that to them. The arrogance to trust people because they can trust me.

Everything will stay the same once you wake up Wednesday morning, but you will not recognize yourself. You’ll feel UPSIDE DOWN. You’ll know then that you will never be that same version of yourself again, as much as you try to kintsugi the broken ceramic pieces of your life. If that makes any sense. You’ll figure it out.

To offer you a contrast, though, as much as you may think everything falling apart is fucked up, there’s a good thing about The Tower. You somehow end up even stronger. Maybe because you’re less arrogant, if I could take a wild guess.

Once you let go of everything you’re meant to lose once every three years, you feel it again. A new job opportunity miles and miles away, a new subscriber, a new friend, someone on the other side of the planet telling you they love your shit.

That, my friends, is how I am able to change jobs, cities, hairstyles, habits, friends, and anything you can think of once every three years. Not boyfriends, though. I am traumatized. I have lived a thousand fucking lives. So that’s why I want YOUR vote for “Someone who’s the voice of her generation”. I could write a whole book about WhatsApp etiquette, fyi. But that’s something for another post.

Anyway, as I was writing, I began watching these weird ass YouTube videos from a hundred years ago so they could tell me who I am, and they basically told me that I will never know. What I can say is: I am someone in constant change, because life made me that way, inherently. I am a 5’0 sentimental gangster. I have put up with shit I thought I’d never get over.

Funnily enough, the more I am FORCED to change, the more I learn. Maybe that’s it. I can close my eyes, and I can remember every single version of myself with so much empathy. I understand all of them once every three years as well. To change is to grow, and to grow is to change, right?

Who the fuck knew you could get all of that from a card. I’m still a little bit sick (I know you’re dying to know about my long cold-vid-thing), but I actually feel more alive than ever. People do have to believe in something, at the end of the day. I am rebuilding my tower, as one does.

See you in three years, I guess.

My mother sees her life through a lens entirely her own.

The youngest of four, she grew up having to fight for what was hers, against brothers, teachers, entrepreneurs, and every sort of man who tried to claim authority over her. And yet she never fought dishonestly, always carving her path with integrity.

She battled the arrogance of male siblings who believed age or gender made them superior, more qualified. She challenged the dismissive teachers who underestimated her, who would not let her speak. She pushed back against figures of power who assumed she would fold under pressure. And she was even more rebellious. She had two daughters, and she taught them her ways.

She taught me how to look past suffering, past the scars left by men who underestimated or tried to break us.
“There’s always something to be thankful for,” she would always say to me.

She lived that truth every day with more grit and grace than anyone I have ever known. She still does.

I think I’ve inherited that willpower.
I know betrayal. I’ve seen the schemes, the cruelty, the small and large violences people inflict. I have looked at evil with both my eyes and my heart.
But still, I choose otherwise. I choose not to become what has wounded me. I choose the thin, bright thread of goodness that runs through my generation. I endure. I believe in what is decent and tender. I believe in the possibility of beginning again.

Read more

November is the month in which I think about my personal trajectory throughout the year, I get nostalgic even before the year ends, and it’s usually when I think about the people I love the most.

My journal writing prompts for this month are all a huge exercise to work on description since I am in the process of writing my first book (eep!!) and what better way to do it than describing people that I love?! My heart gets so so warm when I remember them and it’s been giving me such joy these last eight days so I hope it gives you as much happiness as it gives me. It also gives me inspiration for characters, since your life is your biggest canvas for your art.

Hope you love them.

Your friend,

Amanda <3

1. Describe someone through a gesture (or the way they make you feel).

His kiss was the best kiss I’ve ever had.

His kiss was like coffee with dulce de leche.

It was only in that kiss that I was completely aware of my existence. I used to spend days not existing until then. I also realize that I only exist within a context for other people. College friend, work friend, classmate. And I feel strangely comfortable like that. I don’t know if I’ve created a palace of self-sufficiency that’s too tall and walled up for the non-psychotic, but rather joyful and satisfied minds I encounter out there.

I couldn’t say.

But I’ve also never found anyone exactly like me. I think if I did, I would hate her deeply. Or perhaps I would feel an admiration bordering on passion. I have many conflicting feelings within myself, about myself, and perhaps that’s why I find it so easy to exist within a pre-defined context. There I have a place. I don’t have a place anywhere else, I don’t fit in properly anywhere. Except for his kiss and his embrace. In them I feel strangely confident. I am someone, even though we both exist in a completely diffuse context. I don’t know what we are, and I love that. I want to exist floating, and learn more from the wind.

He helped me find myself.

He and his kiss.

2. Describe a person you miss without mentioning them directly; let the details reveal who they are.

Despite the various rejections, I still wanted to be near him. Not because I thought about the minuscule possibility of one day having access to his infinite knowledge, or access to his castle built with the fruits of his professional development, or because I envied his ability to abstain from “being” in the workplace (or even in any environment), but because I wanted to be there. I wanted to ‘not be’ alongside him.

Sometimes I reveal too much about myself. Sometimes I cry at romance movies. Sometimes I’m not impressed by the technical knowledge of this great professional that he is. Sometimes I think about the smallness of the being who only exists during the 8 hours of the workday.

Sometimes I think about the greatness he can have despite being. And being a lot. For me, his greatness must be in when he is not. And I wanted to be near him to be able to ascertain that, perhaps, not being is even more important to him. Not being makes him who he is. And who is he, if not a great connoisseur? But a connoisseur of what?

Something he didn’t invent himself, something he didn’t have a say in how it works.

Read more

“May the voices of your ancestors spill from your lips; may their prayers fill your Spirit and their wisdom move your heart. For you are the vessel in which they conjure revolutions and brew powerful medicine.”

- The Altar Within (2nd edition)

It is with this powerful introduction that we start this conversation, honoring not just the words on the page but the living, breathing force behind them. I am about to talk to one of my inspirations in this platform, someone who reminds me that writing is never just putting words in a page, writing can be a reverence to love, reverence to heritage, writing is listening, feeling, being in touch with all of your senses, being in touch with yourself and with who came before you, being in touch with the world and not being afraid to evoke a call to action.

Storytelling is not just an art form, but an ancestral act, a ritual. It is a form of liberation from your own insecurities, from this hateful world, from everything that is making you fall behind.

I think that her literary trajectory up until this moment is about reminding you that you can unlearn everything you’ve been taught about who you are. You can be falling in love (again and again) with yourself, with what YOU know about your own self, and you can offer that love to people around you because they also need it.

Today, we step into that space with , a writer, literary activist, and co-founder of the Literary Craft Society, taking you behind the scenes at festivals, panels, and gatherings where literature is being challenged, reimagined, and used as a tool for liberation and change. How cool is that?! She’s also the author of ‘THE ALTAR WITHIN’ which is a groundbreaking book, loved by SO many.

She’s someone whose work reminds us that literature can be a tool of resistance, a sanctuary for healing, and a catalyst for collective transformation. She is currently the #1 rising in Literature and, most importantly, #1 rising in my heart. I am honored to be able to talk to her (pinch me!!!!!)

Together, we’ll explore how her ancestral roots, creative vision, and fierce dedication to liberation shape not only her writing, but the communities she builds and the revolutions she inspires.

: Your work is deeply tied to your Taíno ancestry and Cuban-American identity. How did your cultural and spiritual background shape the writer and activist you are today?

I come from an Indigenous people who were among the first to experience the brutality of colonization when Columbus arrived. My ancestors suffered not only physical genocide but also paper genocide—the erasure of our existence through misinformation, false narratives, and historical lies that claimed we were “extinct.” But we were never gone, we are still here. Our presence, our stories, culture, and our spiritual traditions continue to live through us and our communities. Being the daughter of immigrants and growing up in a country that rarely acknowledges or values Indigenous people—especially its own. It shaped my worldview and what it means to be in a body like mine, trying to exist in a system that was created to indoctrinate, colonize, and suffocate our spirits. I grew up in marginalized communities, holding multiple marginalized identities, and witnessing injustice from a young age. I became an activist at 13, learning early that my existence itself is an act of resistance

That history and lived experience are at the heart of my writing and activism. To me, writing is a practice of reclamation and truth-telling. It’s about resisting the systems that try to silence us and helping people remember who they are. My work invites people to liberate themselves from the oppressor within, to decolonize their minds, and to re-indigenize their relationship to self, community, and the Earth. My ancestors are the pulse behind everything I do and create.

: To me, you are a vessel for ancestral wisdom. Was there a moment in your life when you felt that calling most powerfully?

: I was five years old.

My parents came here from Cuba in 1980, during a time of deep political upheaval. It was the Mariel boatlift — a moment when thousands of Cubans fled the island in search of safety and freedom.

My mother was pregnant with me when they left. They risked everything and left behind their lives— their families, friends, their homeland land because they didn’t want me to grow up the way they did, under a government that still oppresses Indigenous people & Afro-Cubans. Cuba is still suffering. Little food, little access to medical supplies. And this country — the U.S. — has made it even harder for the Cuban people to survive.

When my parents got here, they were treated like ANIMALS. Because my father was Cuban, no one would hire him. He was a man with a degree that the USA saw as garbage.I remember him crying, holding money in his hands, saying he couldn’t even buy himself lunch let alone provide for us.

He was among the many Caribbean immigrants who came here in the 80s and got trapped by a system that was already set up against us. The government itself flooded these communities with drugs. He became a dealer, then a user, then addicted. His addiction wasn’t who he was. It was what this country did to him. I blame the systems of this country for it.

My father was murdered trying to provide for us.

The night it happened, they didn’t come to tell us with any kind of humanity. A SWAT team broke into our tiny project housing apartment. They ripped me out of bed in my underwear. They handcuffed my mom and smashed everything in our home — the TV, the radio, even my bunk bed. They pushed her face so hard into the wall that the paint cracked beneath her cheek. I remember watching her try not to cry so I wouldn’t be scared. My little sister was screaming from her toddler bed, and they wouldn’t let my mom go to her.

In the middle of all that chaos, I heard a voice from inside me. Calmadita. Tranquila, it said in Spanish, “Stay calm.” I felt this knowing; I knew my ancestors were with me. Immediately after the voice, my mother, who is also a Bruja, started humming the same melody she hummed to me at night when she told me stories about our ancestors.

Those stories were never just stories. They were lessons. Protection. Preparation. After every story, my mom would say to me, “Don’t allow the oppressors to take your humanity. Don’t you ever let them erase who you are.” While she was humming, my entire body felt lighter. The noise around us grew quieter. Everything slowed down.

I gazed into her eyes as they filled with tears, still humming, and I joined her. Until it was over.

That’s when I realized we were connected. To each other. To my Ancestors. To the stories. To the past. To everything. That was the moment I felt the calling most powerfully. The moment I understood that my ancestors were guiding me. Breathing with me. It was also the moment that radicalized me.

: You are neurodivergent and speak openly about it. This is really important to me because neurodivergence changes the way you see the world and you are often met with so many challenges when trying to understand the neurotypical mind, and your writing resonates so much with so many people who look after you and see you as an inspiration, neurotypical or not (this writer included). So, I would really like to know this: How does your neurodivergence influence your creative process and the way you engage with the world?

: This is a hard question for me because I was late-diagnosed AuDHD and I’m still learning about my neurodivergence, still unmasking. I’ve always known I was different, and so did many of my friends — most all of them are autistic, ADHD, or both.

The way I engage with the world is through my entire being. All of my senses are activated and I feel everything. I’m connected, spiritually, energetically, physically. That’s just the way I exist.

I’ve learned that our existence itself is a creative process. We are constantly recreating ourselves — evolving, growing, learning, healing, and making decisions. Our lives are made of many paths in one lifetime, and each season of our lives is part of that creative process.

Because I perceive the world this way, it allows me to see what blocks me from tapping into creative source – which would be the same things blocking me from my connection to self and spirit. So in my creative process, part of that work is decolonizing mainstream ways of connecting to creativity, healing, and making space for joy. Coming back to wholeness. To myself. To my truth. Allowing myself to create for the simple reason of wanting to be in a magical dance with life itself. My neurodivergence allows me to not take the process so seriously and to not force it. It’s more about creating a relationship with creativity than forcing it.

: As an internationally bestselling author whose works have inspired thousands of readers worldwide, I think it can be safe to say that most (if not all) of your readers find your books transformative. It was really revolutionary to me personally because literary activism is something so new to me. When did you start writing with the intention to guide others toward reclaiming their voice, towards helping to build a world that is inclusive and just? When was your “I need to start doing that!” Moment?

: There wasn’t one specific moment where I suddenly decided to become a “literary activist.” For me, it wasn’t a choice but more of a responsibility. I hold identities that don’t have the privilege of waiting out the storm, hoping things will get better on their own. I don’t just come from generations of people who have been oppressed, I live it. I’ve experienced racism, harassment, and injustice firsthand. And I’ve made it my work to stay informed, to read, to learn and unlearn, to properly research, to show up with integrity and with my humanity intact. I work directly with people on the ground. I have years of experience in resistance work, organizing, and in fighting for human rights. I’ve been part of multiple organizations as both a leader, organizer, and a volunteer. And as an Indigenous person, I carry the blood memory of ancestors who survived colonization, genocide, and displacement.

I’ve seen what happens when our stories are stolen or rewritten for us. I started writing with intention when I realized that silence is conformity and a slow death to our existence — I want to remind people that we are not alone, that we are not powerless, that we have a right to take up space, and live, not just survive.

I never set out to be inspirational. I set out to tell the truth — the work of reclaiming our voices is an act of resistance and one that I will continue to do until liberation.

This led me to create the which is on . It’s an extension of this work. We’re a movement rooted in literary liberation. We believe writing is a tool for transformation. Our members grow into writers who are agents of change. Together, we’re nurturing a literary movement that embraces the revolutionary potential of writing and publishing as a living, breathing force for change.

: You’re a person who believes in the power of storytelling (in every craft and form) as a force for resistance, healing, justice, change, and liberation. Your storytelling does just that to me. I love your works with every fiber of my being, so with you being that force to someone like me, I would love to know who was that force to you! What books, authors, or thinkers most shaped your literary worldview?

: Being the daughter of freedom fighters — both my mother and father — meant activism and storytelling weren’t distant concepts; they were part of my daily life. I was raised in a marginalized community where almost everyone was involved in mutual aid, community defense, and care. Elders organized, neighbors showed up for each other.

Storytelling was not something separate from the struggle, but part of it. Stories were how we remembered, healed, how we organized, how we passed down strategy, how we refused erasure. I understood early that books can be medicine, a shield, and a map all at once.

The voices that shaped me, they didn’t just write or speak — they built movements, challenged power, and told the truth. That shaped everything for me. Klee Benally, Assata Shakur, Malcolm X, Octavia Butler, Audre Lorde, Alice Walker, Frantz Fanon, Martin Luther King Jr., Ta-Nehisi Coates, Robin Wall Kimmerer, Nelson A. Denis, bell hooks, Alice Wong, Elaine Brown, the Black Panthers, Rupa Marya, Laura Gómez, Melba Hernández, Mabel Dove, Madame Bing, Grace Lee Boggs, Gabriela Silang… these are the voices and more that I grew up reading, listening to, and learning from.

They remind us that storytelling is not only necessary but vital in shifting the narrative and creating actual change.

: You’ve recently said that your book, The Altar Within (second edition) isn’t just a reprint of the first version, it’s a fully revised, expanded edition of it, with new chapters, new prompts and new practices. I’ve also heard that it is a radical devotional guide for inner and collective liberation, and I think that is definitely something to look forward to. I feel that it is what everyone needs in this moment of history, full of hate and injustice. Can you tell me a little bit more about it?

: In a world that often celebrates individualism, the journey toward liberation is, at its core, a collective endeavor. True liberation cannot exist in isolation. It thrives in the spaces we create together, in the shared values we nurture, and in the collective dreams we cultivate. Centering collective liberation is about reorienting ourselves toward a vision that acknowledges our interconnectedness, our shared responsibilities, and the power that arises when we stand together.

It’s about recognizing that our liberation is tied to each others — that none of us can be free until we all are. Collective liberation calls us to look beyond personal freedom and consider the well-being of our communities, our planet, and future generations. It’s a call to build a world where care, equity, and respect for all beings are the foundation of how we live. A call to dismantle systems that thrive on division and hierarchy, and replace them with relationships and practices rooted in mutual respect, understanding, and shared responsibility.

“We cannot build a world rooted in collective liberation using a colonial mindset or the tools of the oppressor.”

So I offer pathways — joy, transmuting rage, reclaiming our humanity, and integrating practices that support deep, necessary unlearning.

The revolution begins within you.

“A sacred tool for collective transformation. The Altar Within is a luminous guide to navigating the complex intersections of personal and collective liberation. Juliet Diaz blends decolonial teachings, spiritual practices, and fierce love to help us reclaim our magic and humanity. This book is a gift for activists, healers, and dreamers working toward a safer and more just world where everyone can thrive.”

– Kalaya’an Mendoza, Organizer, Facilitator and Head of U.S. Programmes for Nonviolent Peaceforce

“Often, deep within us, we fear liberation, even though our true Self knows there’s nothing to fear. Juliet Diaz masterfully reminds us of this and invites us to connect with our truth for healing, remembering, and reclaiming. Juliet powerfully reminds us that we are the liberation we seek. She emphasizes that this spiritual work must include caring for our community. Juliet’s words are the medicine we need.”

-Natalie Y. Gutiérrez, LMFT author of The Pain We Carry

Memories come in waves.

October is usually the month in which I think about memory the most, and how important it is. We, as humans, have the ability to see lots of moments in history, facts, even lifeless objects in our bedrooms with our hearts. That is memory.

I’ve been thinking a lot about all the people I love and about how they help my life to get fuller, and better, and that has been a big inspiration to me when it comes to journaling. I’ve been looking at my life with so much passion and energy and gratitude after finally being in a good health condition after months of medical observation.

We take some things for granted because we’re not reminding ourselves of how fucking scary life can be, so I wanted to share some writing prompts (and some of my own answers) that can make you remind your own self about how full of love life actually is, and it’s all around, really. In places you’ll never expect.

I would like to make monthly journaling prompts a thing here (because that’s something I do a lot in my life), and to start, memory will be the theme of this month.

Hope you like them!

<3

1. Recall the very first time you met someone who, without you realizing it then, would become deeply important in your life.

I remember meeting my college best friend Lou for the first time.

He was SO nervous on our very first day of class, combing his hair with a little brush a thousand times, wearing a green shirt (that I adored, but it got so old that he doesn’t wear it anymore), grey pants and his favorite pair of shoes. That choice of outfit is so emblematic to who he is, a prepared, careful person in every aspect of his life, always willing to make a good impression.

I remember feeling so impacted by how smart he was, and I could also see his humility through him, somehow. That’s why he’s so smart, because I now reckon that he has the humility to learn about everything else other than his own opinions and his own life. He goes beyond. He still loves me, even when I think that I’m the stupidest person alive and I can’t cook and my posture is a mess. We also went to the same catholic school as teenagers. And they say trauma bonding doesn’t get a relationship anywhere…

I can’t imagine a moment of my college life in which he’s not around. He’s ALWAYS around, always answering all my texts 24/7 and he’s always there when I need him. His confidence was also something I noticed right away, and now, looking back, our friendship has certainly made me more confident in myself, because he is, in fact, the most intelligent person EVER, and i’m honored to have TMIPE (The most intelligent person ever) arguing with me over snacks at 7a.m.

He taught me so many things about history, creative writing, my own self, etc.

You used to teach your own school subjects to your stuffed animals.

I hope I get to witness you becoming a great teacher, one day.

I’ll forever be your student. From day one.

2. What’s one quote you’ve been thinking about lately? Why? What in that quote moved you?

I’ve been thinking about a Christopher Reeve quote ever since I talked to a great friend I have here:

That just reminds me of her, and I’m so glad I told her that.

We should just text people when we see something that reminds us of them, because those small gestures can carry so much weight. I wanted her to know that I was remembering her that day, that she lives in the way I see the world. I am somehow stronger than I was before, all because I met her (even if not physically).

There are some people who enter our lives, quietly or suddenly, and they shift something fundamental in us. They expand our understanding of what human beings are capable of in strength, in resilience, in tenderness. In my case, most of them are women.

When we recognize them in a quote, a song, a fleeting thought, it feels like life’s way of reminding us how lucky we are to have crossed paths with them at all.

So that’s the quote I’ve been thinking of.

Read more

Do you want to know how I figured out how serious this was? I’ll tell you that: when my professor, currently orientating me through a research project I’m doing about Nuremberg interrupted me while I was passionately talking about some old white males and the implications of their actions on the whole world. I’ll try to find a way to tell you all about my project without sounding like Jesse Eisenberg soon. Sorry Jesse.

“Sorry. It’s my jogging club. We’re doing the SM thing on Saturday morning”

The SM.. thing.. is actually running through the whole perimeter of an almost abandoned shopping mall near campus. I actually wanted to write about this to you because I found a way to make sense of it and connect it with my own life, as I write a niche less newsletter and everything is about me anyway.

I wish you could make sense of how many people are actually running through a shopping mall parking lot over and over again when Monday comes. Monday, 06:45am. It’s packed. It’s interesting how there is little to almost no one on Friday. Also 06:45am. That made me think of life.

As I’ve written to you recently and said that writing is that itch on your back you have to scratch (I want 10% if you’re selling that as a bumper sticker), I want to make an addition and say that the gift of writing is the gift of encapsulating everything mundane (apparently meaningless fragments of life), combining that with life changing feelings and experiences you only have once or twice, and creating something you’ll never be able to properly explain. You’ll never put a finger on it.

All of this to say that writing doesn’t have to be about when you really feel like waking up at 06:45am on a Monday, and you’re really excited about life and you really want to just go out and kiss someone and jump and scream and puke afterwards and !!!!!! But also, it really doesn’t have to be about when it’s Friday and you feel like telling everyone to fuck off of the face of the earth.

I wouldn’t say writing is exactly happiness. I mean, it shouldn’t be about that. It’s not the high of Monday morning laps when the world feels lit from within, and it’s not the emptiness of Friday when you want nothing to do with anyone. It lives in that narrow seam: not joy, as you work with writing and being happy with work feels criminal at times, not intense sorrow, because you’re not 13 and writing a dark romance novel because some guy named a)Theo1, or b)Aiden, or c) Dylan or d) all above dumped you. No, we’re past that, you and me.

For those of us who live and breathe words, it’s about the uneasy thrill of something almost indefinable. It’s so uncomfortable at times, it can almost drive you crazy.

Like jogging circles around a mall, writing is mundane until it isn’t. One day, at 6:45 a.m., it will feel different. It has to. It’s a human activity. Right?! I wonder if any of those people have had sudden epiphanies or paragraph ideas while running around in circles. Maybe I should join them.

Writing is jogging.

Read more

We met on the first day of seventh grade. He liked a band called Cannibal Corpse, and I liked pissing off my parents, so we were a great match. He introduced me to some of my favorite bands, and looking back, he shaped a little bit of my personality, and it might be safe to say that I shaped about 90% of his. We dated, I think, all of seventh grade. Then, in eighth grade, he moved to Orange, California (shoutout people from Orange) and I never saw him again.

Just kidding. I did see him again: senior year of high school. He came back, and we dated briefly as well (BOO!), until one day I called him crying. I didn’t know much about how strong and how mature you’d have to actually be to make a relationship work then, but I knew I loved him. I also knew I couldn’t keep a relationship, not even if I tried. I needed space to grow, to see more, to become more. Being with him meant having to constantly update someone about where I was, what I was doing… Until I no longer knew whether I was sharing or justifying my choices. So I let go.

He cried the entire phone call. And yes, he still has my number.

Years later, Louie and I ran into each other on a Saturday night. He was even taller, even more weird-looking, and I was still in love with him. He still wore flannel shirts and old boots with stars on them, very DCC. Hey, he had a beard now. Sick. He looked at me, and suddenly I was sixteen again.

We were at , you guessed it, a local dumpster bar. The place was called something like Beers and Burgers and More, and I guess that “more” part was kind of illegal, because the place was packed. So we stepped outside and caught up in the middle of the street.

It was one of those catch-ups filled with years you can’t quite explain. That weird pause when someone asks, “Are you seeing anyone?” and you both say “No” and sit in silence. Then he asked if I still wrote. I said yes. He asked if I still kept all my diaries. I told him I had a Substack now. I described it as “spicy cultural commentary with some niche recommendations and a little literature nerdiness.”

He blinked. “So… you have an audience now?”

I laughed. “A pretty considerable one,” I said. Sorry, guys. I didn’t mention some of you being closer to me than most of my blood family.

And then he said, “I just can’t believe they’re all keeping up with you trying to figure your shit out. In real time, just like I did.”

He was right.

I went home, took my shoes off, opened my laptop, and started typing. Because that’s what I do, that’s what I’ve always done. Maybe every single thing I’ve ever written, from my silly Oasis-themed diaries to serious think pieces, has been me trying to make sense of myself. Of course. My manifestation journals, my shopping lists, my monogrammed Christmas cards, they’re all little bits and pieces of who I am, who I was, and who I’m trying to be, and they tell you everything you need to know about this writer, more than anything that ever comes from me. No boyfriend could ever have this intimacy that writing provides.

Writing is that itch on your back you have to scratch. It’s the original, most honest thing that comes out of you. Sometimes I write and realize that I felt something I didn’t even know I felt. I’ve had more epiphanies through writing than through conversations or heartbreaks combined.

My relationship with words has always been more stable and more essential than most of my romantic relationships ,which is probably why they fail (also BOO). And why I keep writing. It’s a cycle.

I need to know how I feel, and I write to access that. That’s something I’ve always done. The only difference is that over a year, things became more serious. This newsletter is more than just me, writing for myself, alone in my bedroom. My mom is not the only one reading this.

I am just in awe of the amount of people that look up to me because of my words, but when I remember my words got me everything I’ve ever wanted, I can see why they look up to me.

My words actually taught me a lot about love.

Way more than any romantic relationship I’ve ever had.

The writing process is slow, complicated, complex, and magical. Like the best kinds of love, it needs to be cultivated.

My words come to me without the sacrifice of having to ask (or beg) for them. I use them to navigate through the world, to make sense of all the love that I get, all the loss that comes with it, and everything in between.

Writing is my translation of the unspoken.

My words. As characteristically mine as my fingerprints.

Somehow, what I couldn’t share with him then, I share with you now. In real time.

I finally feel comfortable to be with who I look for to get comfort every time my world crumbles down. My words.

To Bella

EPILOGUE - THE RITUALS

A couple of weeks later, my best friend Sara called me. Half a bottle of wine in, she asked:

“Do you think [redacted celebrity] wrote his book just to convince himself he made the right choices?”

She doesn’t remember saying it ,but I do. That question lit something up in me.

Because yes, we also write for reassurance. Sometimes we just need to believe we’re right ,or at least, that we’re not crazy. We need to explain it to ourselves before anyone else.

Why do we type so fast when something hits us? Why do we rush to get the words out before they slip away? These words ,invented thousands of years ago, somehow become ours when we’re in that moment. Every feeling gets a name. Even a weird run-in with an old boyfriend makes you question your whole life.

Other people live differently than the writer. They run at 5 a.m., sporadically drink half a bottle of wine, make strange questions, cry to superhero movies, go to their 9-to-5s. Meanwhile, I write. They live. I write. But maybe I’ve lived more because of it. An author lives a thousand lives. Maybe love feels deeper. Maybe moments stay longer, it feels even better to think about a memory when it doesn’t exist in real life.

That’s how I live my life, writing and erasing everything I’ve ever encountered in my life in the after hours.

I write, therefore I am.

What a joy it is to be the writer, after all.

To have this monastic devotion to your words that could be seen as intense as obsession, but also as tender as care.

I love the idea of doing something so intensely that it allows me to feel the grip of death once in a while. My devotion for words could kill me one day, I’m certain of that.

The writer hopes their passion kills them.

So original.

Le cygne. End of act II.

If you’re interested in the latest news in the literature world, check out

If not, I’ll see you soon.

You’re not given the chance to interview all the time, so you can totally picture my nervous system having a breakdown.

This is the part of the interview that I start to give you a little bio on her, as if all of you didn’t know her already, but I’d like to start this conversation by saying that besides being many things at a very early age, Erifili is also a friend.

She first messaged me on August 19th, 2024 to tell me how much she loved my work, and here we are, almost a year later, about to start talking about all the amazing things she’s been doing since the last time we spoke. Except now, a year later, I’m the one reaching out to her for this interview (she kindly said yes), and I now have a firm belief that she could actually be president.

But this is my friend Erifili for you, I need to give you a little more of who she is professionally, so you can understand why I am freaking out over our little virtual coffee shop encounter:

When you meet Erifili Gounari, even just through a screen , you immediately sense two things: her sharpness and her warmth. I mean, it’s crystal clear (pun was very intended).

At 25, she’s already the founder and CEO of The Z Link, a global creative agency that’s reimagining how brands connect with Gen Z. She’s helped giants like IKEA, Deloitte, and Pepsi, landed on the Forbes 30 Under 30 list, and somehow still finds the time to write a book (Design Your Life), run a Substack with 18,000+ readers, as I’m writing to you, and co-host a podcast about books and philosophy.

But beyond the accolades, what I really wanted to know from her was: How does someone this young build such an unconventional path, and still sound grounded, curious, and intentional? Over coffee (virtual for me, espresso for her), we talked about building careers that don’t fit into boxes, what brands always get wrong about Gen Z, and the marvelous ideas she has with her bestie Aspa for their podcast, espresso epilogues.

ON GEN-Z AND CULTURE

: Even now, brands get Gen Z wrong all the time, and, in my point of view, that’s why independent media (made by Gen Z, to Gen Z) is stepping in and stealing the show. I’m seeing a large percentage of brands hiring Gen Z Social Media people, or even hiring The Z link’s services, which is all about strategizing and executing great campaigns with a bigger focus on that audience.

When we talk Gen Z, what’s the single biggest misconception you hear in pitch rooms for big companies?

: So many misconceptions! It becomes clear after a while that a lot of big brands just have never really spoken (or listened) to a young person. One I hear all the time is that Gen Z just doesn’t want to work.

It’s a funny one, because as an author who writes about the future of work, my research constantly proves otherwise. Our generation wants to work, they are ambitious, they are great at getting things done - but they don’t want to work in outdated ways that don’t serve them, when it becomes evident that there are better ways to do things. Gen Z is simply disrupting a system that isn’t made to create fulfilled human beings. We’re realizing that we have the tools and resources to create careers that provide us with a lot more freedom, fulfilment, flexibility, and ownership, and follow unconventional paths that may be a lot more rewarding than the default path.

THE Z LINK

: Being a CEO and managing a team of 20+ people in your twenties isn’t easy. What have you learned about leading your peers, and also, about earning the respect of older, traditional clients, as you’re known for your modern approach to marketing?

: Ahh I’ve learned so much! And I’m still learning a lot every day. Leading a team of people my age is very very fun, and also a great learning process.

I’ve learned a lot through previous jobs I’ve had, by working with different people, where I can pinpoint how their management styles made me feel, and then decide how I want to make people feel in my team.

For example, I know it’s so important to me that everyone at The Z Link likes working here, and I never want people to be stressed out or hating their job… So I lead accordingly. No mistake is life-or-death, there’s a lot of room for flexibility, and for people to express how they feel and take ownership over their work, however they think it should be done. Roles are also very flexible, because we’re all young - if someone wants to explore different creative roles in the company, they can tell me and we’ll make it happen.

I want The Z Link to be an environment for learning and creativity - and I’ve been blessed with the sweetest team members.

WRITING AND CREATIVITY

: You juggle running an agency, writing a book, and sending out Crystal Clear to 18,000+ readers, and you do it all flawlessly. I think the question everyone wants me to ask is how on earth do you manage your time to deliver the best work all the time? Also, can you give us some tips on how to be that productive?

: Could it be the ADHD?

: I FEEL THAT DEEPLY!!!!!!!

: Hahaha honestly I’m not sure! My working style is a little bit chaotic, not as busy as it sounds, but I definitely jump a lot between things. I also try to allow myself to act upon my inspiration whenever it strikes, so for example I’ll only write a Substack piece when I know I am actually feeling like it, rather than forcing myself (and because I know that I do feel like it often enough to stay consistent with my posting).

When I wrote my book, my publisher gave me 4 months to write it - which was definitely a tight deadline in terms of writing 65,000 words, but it worked well for me because it allowed me to really LOCK IN and write as many words as I had to every week! It taught me that if you want to achieve ambitious things, just set yourself ambitious deadlines - then you will find ways to meet them.

Another productivity tip is figuring out how you’ll deal with your phone. I’m very conscious of how I limit my phone use, so I don’t procrastinate very much. I have a focus filter on 24/7, most of my notifications are completely turned off except for 2-3 apps, and I fully lock my social media apps using the app Freedom, all morning and all evening, every day.

ESPRESSO EPILOGUES!

: You co-host espresso epilogues with your bestie, Aspa, a podcast where you both discuss about books over coffee. It’s way more than that, for me. Listening to espresso epilogues feels like reading my favorite Substack pieces all at once, it’s always SO interesting and fun. So, my question to you would be: Are you guys accepting a third bestie? Just kidding. I actually want to know about the process behind choosing the subjects to discuss on the podcast! What’s that like? You both explore the most amazing topics ever.

: Hahaha in your case YES we are accepting a third bestie!

: WHEN DO I START?!?!

: Thank you for listening to us yap!

To answer your question, we have a long list of episode ideas we draw from when we don’t know what to talk about, and we both read a lot which helps us bring variety into every episode, and trust that we will both have different books to bring to the conversation. We also make episodes about topics/books we are particularly excited about, like if we both read a book and absolutely love it, that’s our best case scenario, because we can just record a 1-hour deep dive together and have the best time doing it.

DESIGN YOUR LIFE

: Last, but definitely not least, let me remind all of you that I’m virtually sitting down with the author of Design Your Life: Your Career, Your Way, published in October 2024 by Kogan Page.

It is a first-of-its-kind guide for anyone who wants to build a career that offers them freedom, ownership, and flexibility. It guides readers through building their own unconventional and fulfilling career path that doesn’t necessarily fit inside a box. It is available at multiple retailers around the world.

I couldn’t recommend this book enough, especially for young people, a demographic that is still trapped in the dilemma of choosing between their dream career and your average conventional career (Been there).

So, lastly, I wanted to ask you, Erifili, what advice would you give to young Certified readers who are still struggling with designing their life the way they always dreamt of, career wise?

: If I had to choose one piece of advice, it would have two parts:

1. Realize that whatever you want to achieve, whatever dream you think is out of reach, is probably more possible than you think. I spoke to so many incredible, self-made people for my book, that taught me that you can find SO many ways today to be resourceful and make things you want happen. It’s closer than you think. Don’t listen to anyone who says otherwise, if they are not living the life you’re aiming to create.

2. Learn to listen to your intuition, to figure out what YOU actually want. It will help you separate what you think you should be doing, from what you want to be doing. Your connection to your intuition can be strengthened the more you practice listening to it, and it’s what will allow you to come close to your own wants and passions, to figure out what your dream life is, separate from what others are pushing you towards. If you know what you want to pursue, and you feel a physical pull towards it, a spark, momentum, inspiration, passion, then go for it with everything you have. There are always external factors in your way, so just make sure that you are not one of the obstacles in your own way. Become your own best friend by learning to get things done and to put yourself out there without overthinking - and things will go your way faster than you think.

The very first step to achieve this milestone is lie that you made $100k a year by only writing for a platform.

This marketing strategy is what this essay is about.

Read more

is your ultimate dream girl.

She’s a multi-faceted creative living in Brooklyn, NY.

She started writing her newsletter, , after a successful series on TikTok where she would post her monthly intentions and to-do lists with her signature digital collage artwork. I mean, what can be better than that?!

Not only is she a multitalented person, she knows who she is and she transmits her personality flawlessly in her Substack page.

You already know that one thing I love more than watching hot edits of David Corenswet as Superman (DM me for links) all day long is branding.

I’m obsessed with taking something as a newsletter and transforming it into something that is so inherently you that it’s impossible to look away. It’s more than clicking and reading, it’s more than interacting with your subscribers, it’s creating an experience. I love creators/writers who can do that successfully. And Julianna does more than that, it’s a 5 star experience to be subscribed to Keepsake.

As you all know, I famously went through a rebrand, and although it demands a lot of work, it’s all about bringing the best of us to our subscribers, so I talked with Julianna about branding and about offering the best of the best to your subscribers.

: Besides being a very talented writer, you’re also a genius in branding. You do everything masterfully, bringing the Keepsake brand with you at all times in your branding (and being highly recognizable) but it still allows you to express yourself freely while you do it. What role does the Keepsake logo, color palette, or cover art play in your branding choices? Also, how did you settle on this current Keepsake design to represent you and your newsletter?

: Wow, thank you so much! I was very intentional about the branding, I really wanted something that felt fully realized and could easily be used on Substack and beyond, so I went to my designer friend Ahliyah Kim for help. Ahliyah was the perfect partner to discover the Keepsake brand with. We went through a few rounds of color palettes, but the locket was always the centerpiece. It just perfectly communicates everything Keepsake is about: the little things worth holding onto.

We actually started with a more saturated color palette that felt very Julianna, but I wanted to be careful that Keepsake could feel like its own thing. The color palette Ahliyah created is made up of faded blue, warm grey, and dusty pinks meant to evoke the nostalgia that Keepsake so often centers on. These colors reminded me of old magazine clippings, and that’s part of the reason they’re so cozy to me. I’m a very visual person, so design is a central part of my creative process, and often I create the cover art for an article before I even write it. It’s like a warmup for my brain. Once I can see it I know how to write it.

: You’re a superstar. I mean, you write one of the most popular newsletters ever (truly an outstanding success between my writer colleagues) but not only that! You also offer a series of exclusive gifts and bonuses to your subscribers and it mesmerizes me the way you keep upgrading Keepsake.

The Keepsake penpal program is definitely a Substack pioneer when it comes to offering something that goes beyond just writing to your subscribers.

Can you walk us through how the idea for the penpal program came to life? What inspired you to create such an intimate and analog extension of a digital space, and how do you think it deepens the connection between you and your readers?

: Before I even started my Substack I was circling around the idea of launching a quarterly zine. The idea of Keepsake came about from my love for physical items, the things you live amongst and can hold in your hands. Books on your shelf can transport you to another world, a photo album can help you travel back in time. I love making things on the internet, but to bring something into your home is a whole other level of intimacy. I have such a fun community of people on Keepsake who are excited about creating and connecting with one another, so a pen pal program felt like a natural next step! I’d love to do more in the physical world, in fact I’m planning my first IRL event– Keepsake Show & Tell– on August 27th in Brooklyn! We’re going to share our favorite keepsakes with each other, do some crafting, and generally have so much fun I really can’t wait.

I think the future of Keepsake is a blend of this digital and IRL experience. I hope to host more events, send more letters, and maybe even create my own stationery line some day.

: With cool stuff like this and merch (like the cool keychains that inspired the cover of this post), it can definitely be an IRL experience, and that’s why you’re SO good with this. I’m a big fan of newsletter merch, I’m a big fan of letting other people know you’re cool. I read keepsake and I want everyone to know it!

: When I first messaged you about this interview, I said that, when it came to offering cool stuff (fun initiatives, as you’ve said), no one’s doing it like you! You’ve launched your pen pal project (as mentioned earlier), you’re doing exclusive astrology readings for one lucky paid subscriber each month, you also offer Dinner Party Gossip (a monthly feature full of intriguing stories and well-researched deep dives) and Club Keepsake, your monthly email with prompts to inspire making, writing, and living a more creative life. Club Keepsake also offers a shared Pinterest board with the subscribers, offering a full visual experience, full of inspiration.

Keepsake’s paid subscribers are living THE life!

How do you keep coming up with these thoughtful and inventive offerings for your paid subscribers? Do these ideas come from things you personally crave as a reader, or are they shaped more by what you sense your community needs?

: I’m just trying to make Keepsake the comfiest place to hang out on the internet! I really value the fact that so many people have chosen to spend time with me through my writing, and it’s even more incredible that people would pay for a monthly subscription to it. I have a lot of fun creating new things to share with everyone. As far as birth charts go, I’m just super passionate about astrology. I even had a brief stint reading birth charts in 2020 when I was laid off from my job. I think that my understanding of it influences everything I do, and I just love interpreting people’s planets and making graphics for them.

Dinner Party Gossip literally came to me on a park bench chatting with a friend. I initially saw it as some kind of podcast where I host different people as they tell me their most impressive dinner party stories. I don’t think I can add a podcast to the Keepsake universe (for now), but an essay series seems like the right place to start! I also really love sending out Club Keepsake every month. I have a submission form called the ‘bulletin board’ where people can send updates to the rest of the community, or just share something they’re working on, and it makes my day when I get new entries.

I think as far flung as everyone is in my subscriber base I want to continue making it feel like we’re all neighbors, active in each other’s lives and all working toward the same goal: a life lived creatively.

The Archives is a living library of conversations with fellow Substack writers.

It’s a place where we time-stamp the thoughts, routines, obsessions, and creative philosophies of people building something honest online. From voice-finding to burnout, from niche obsessions to community-building, these interviews preserve the messy, magical middle of the writing life.

To love your favorite writers is to know them.

1. meet eve!

You might know my friend .

You probably know her because you read a piece of hers and it completely changed the trajectory of your life. I know. It happened to me as well. She does that to people.

My friend is the testimony of how life changing the written word is.

Naturally, for the writer, writing is that itch on your back you have to scratch. It’s the original, most honest thing that comes out of you. Sometimes I write and realize something I didn’t even know I felt. I’ve had more epiphanies through writing than through therapy, conversations, or heartbreaks combined.

Why do we type so fast when something hits us? Why do we rush to get the words out before they slip away? These words ,invented thousands of years ago, somehow become ours when we’re in that moment. Every feeling gets a name. Every memory gets a frame. Even a weird run-in with an old boyfriend makes you question your whole damn life.

Other people live differently. They run at 5 a.m., drink half a bottle of wine, make strange questions, cry at superhero movies, go to their 9-to-5s. Meanwhile, I write. They live. I write. But maybe I’ve lived more because of it. Maybe love feels deeper. Maybe moments stay longer.

As writers, we have the power to take what we see happening in culture and shape it completely, transforming something that seems to already be engraved in society into something that is uniquely our own.

If you don’t know it, my friend does exactly that. And if you don’t know her, here’s your chance.

: In your own words, your newsletter, angelic dissent, bridges poetry prose, autofiction, and cultural criticism, evoking the push and pull of being a twenty-something in twenty-twenty-something.

That’s SO powerful, and I think the newsletter encapsulates just that, it’s the perfect newsletter for someone looking for a little bit of everything done with passion and excellence. So, as you adventure yourself in a little bit of everything, I was wondering if you write with a specific reader in mind. Who’s the angelic dissent reader?

: You’re too kind! This is such a lovely question.

: I LOVE YOU!

: I do try to balance holding the reader in mind as I write, whilst mostly focusing on putting together pieces that have my voice running through them. In many ways, the reader reflects the newsletter and my approach to writing: they don’t want just one thing. They’re happy, I hope, to read feelings-heavy personal essays blended with cultural criticism, and theory, and autofiction, and anything else that comes forward. It all feels interconnected to me, so that’s the kind of work I like to read and write.

I think something I specifically don’t do is write for Substack, or for the algorithm. I find it all a bit overwhelming, but it’s really important to me that I write pieces I’m proud of, not what’s relevant or goes down well.

I love pieces that discuss things I know nothing about, from writers who clearly know a lot and showcase that, or give snapshots of their life that are written tenderly. I suppose in a way, I’m the angelic dissent reader: I write what I’d want to read. I aim for that and, if I’m being really self-indulgent, it guides the artistic integrity I try to uphold.

: On pieces like ‘I can’t wait to be thin’ (one of my favorite pieces of yours), you reference a 2022 Bella Hadid Vogue interview, Tumblr, TikTok influencers, Foucault, Roxanne Gay’s memoir, Hunger, and Gia Coppola’s The Last Showgirl (2025), to mention a few of your references. You’re able to come up with the most perfect references so your readers can know exactly what you’re writing about, and so your readers can get a reality check of the current culture they’re living in while doing a flawless job of writing about your own experiences. In your writing process, these references come up to you as you write or do you start pointing out these cultural moments first to set the tone of what you’re writing about?

: I’m so glad you liked ‘I can’t wait to be thin’. I found it daunting to post, partly because it felt a little too much like exposing myself, and partly because there are so many essays about body culture, and I didn’t want to oversaturate or overstep.

I definitely collect references each day; everything I encounter goes in somewhere. So I try to engage across types of art and media, physical art, biography, various kinds of theory.

Plus, of course, actually doing things in the real world with real people, that have nothing to do with ‘consuming’.

: Oh, that’s REALLY important to me. I can see you doing that, for sure. Your work just SCREAMS life, in the most beautiful way.

: I think if you just take in things that will later become references but you don’t have one foot in the real world, you won’t be able to see them in the light or fully write about them with any richness.

And I try to see it all as important. Something a friend said to me can hold as much weight as an arthouse film. Something a random TikTok user commented can be as impactful as a field-shifting sociological text- to me, at least. And that’s the key thing, I’m never saying that a reference is or isn’t important in the grand scheme of things, I’m trying to dissect how I got here.

That essay in particular felt like a timeline of all the influences that have helped me figure out how I feel about body and appearance culture, which I’ve been trying to do for years.

It took that exact combination- studying things at an advanced academic level, pop culture references, conversations with people in my life- to get to that conclusion. I’m always trying to map out the process behind my thinking and my world view, not so that it’s justified to the reader and they can take it on as their own, but so we can explore it together and I can reflect on why I came to my conclusion. I love reading essays where I can see how someone’s brain works, so I aim to represent that myself.

: yeah, I can see that as well! “I love how your brain works” is, by far, the most thoughtful compliment a writer can get, because it truly shows that you’ve succeeded in showing your thought process in a cohesive way. With that being said, I love how your brain works.

: While doing my research to talk to you, I read ‘writing without anything to write about’ at least fifty times, and I most certainly cried my eyes out on all of them. I was stunned, slightly melancholic, reflexive and, after sitting with it for a while, hopeful about life. You just move me so much with your gift, and art is so sacred. So, my question to you is: What do you hope someone feels when they read your writing? Maybe to feel like you felt when you wrote that specific piece, maybe it is clarity, or closeness, like I felt?

: I love you!!

: there’s so much love and admiration in this conversation!

: It makes me so happy that you felt that way reading the piece. Closeness is definitely part of it. In some ways I want the reader to feel a little voyeuristic, as though maybe you’ve stumbled upon something you shouldn’t have. It’s all very intimate. And clarity, yes, definitely. Part of the high of writing for me is putting intangible things into words. That’s such a lifeblood of the craft.

Equally…I hear so many writers saying, you know, ‘if just one person reads this and feels seen then it’s all worth it’, and I agree that the reader’s feelings are close to my heart. With that being said (and please don’t think I’m a dick for this): I hope the reader thinks ‘that’s good writing’. The joy of reading and writing for me is the biology of it. I love putting words together and how that makes you feel.

I’m not someone who cares about specific individual words, I love the gestaltness of what happens when you combine them. I obsess over how the combination of syntax, metre, the metaphysical and the mundane, the sound of words, all builds something so much more than each could hold on its own. At that point, the meaning doesn’t necessarily have to resonate with me as a reader. I hope my readers gets that same feeling as though the words are being painted with. I love a Good Sentence, so of course I want the reader to see that in my work. I hope the words resonate with them as a raw material, separately and additionally to how it does emotionally.

: ‘inspo rot (end of shelf life)’, which is also one of my favorite pieces, talks about something I always found interesting: Writers imitating their influences when they start out. Naturally (or maybe not) their writing grows with time, and the hope is to transcend mere replication and find their own voice. With that being said, who are your biggest influences and how are you deviating from them? Do you believe “finding your voice” is a destination, or a continual reshaping?

: It took me such a long time to write that piece, because I wanted to make sure I spoke precisely when I conveyed my point. I think the process of being inspired is really special, but I’m a little tired of artists literally copy-pasting elements of what they like into their work, the kind of mood board writing of evoking an aesthetic or scene rather than saying something.

I love Chris Kraus’s seamless weaving together of theory with plot and prose, and I like to see that in my own writing. I feel like in her work the theoretical and artistic concepts elevate the story, meaning you have to work a little harder to get the full payoff of reading, which I love. In my own work, this looks like using the more everyday or even ‘shallow’ concepts to pull down the theory. I think analysis and pop culture are a match made in heaven, as I’ve discussed. I don’t believe that being able to ‘explain it to me like I’m five’ makes a better writer, I think reading complex writing is essential for growth, but I want my work to bring these concepts to places they wouldn’t typically be.

Sarvat Hasin’s prose is beautiful, she’s such a master of the written word. I want to take what I’ve learned from her and apply it to my more conceptual work, where it’s not so plot and character-related.

Conversely, Eva Baltasar’s work inspires me to write shorter pieces, where stories and interactions speak for themselves, but with my own voice that feels somewhat lighter. Or maybe to let the edge come out of my work but in a way that works for me and the stories I want to tell. I know that’s very abstract, but I think that’s how it feels when it comes to taking inspiration.

Olivia Laing’s non-fiction work has really shaped mine, but not in the sense that I want to aim for that kind of output. More that they taught me how to explore artistic and cultural movements for myself, giving me starting points to follow, and that was really a foundation to that’s led me to a lot of my current influences. I want to take those influences and let them seep into my fiction work. Their book Everybody: A Book About Freedom along with Viv Albertine’s memoir Clothes Clothes Clothes, Music Music Music, Boys Boys Boys opened me up to an excitement about the world, and the idea of being immersed in culture rather than just taking it in.

As for finding your own voice, I think it’s a bit of both. Your voice is always there if you can tap into it. It’s so easy for it to be drowned out, particularly because we do take in so much other media that it can feel hard to tell what’s us and what’s our cultural diet talking. That can get easier over time, but you can also find yourself realising that you got stuck on a path of writing outside of your voice, and you have to reset yourself.

And of course your voice can and should change. Trying something new in writing isn’t necessarily inauthentic, it can be a way to bring out a side of your voice you didn’t know was there. Regardless of how you get there, your voice is important. I’m quite strict with myself, because I know there are topics I could write about that would be more popular than a lot of what I put out, but it wouldn’t be me. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how something will be perceived, it’s about how I feel. And that goes for the potential of positive reception too- if it would go down well with some readers but doesn’t feel true or original to me, it’ll never see the light of day.

: Let’s talk about something FUN: Coy Collective!

: COY, my baby!

: What was the moment or experience that made you decide: “This space needs to exist”?

: I keep calling it my passion project because I think that’s what you do when something takes tons of time and effort (and a bit of stress) and actually loses you money overall. I love it.

I’ve always had a hard time thinking of myself as an artist. Where I’m from, that’s not something you do, because it doesn’t pay the bills. Then suddenly I came into this world where people have no issue fully identifying with being a writer, being an artist, and even have no obstacles to pursuing that. I wanted what they had, and equally, I resented them for not having to have my cautiousness.

I started going to readings, and it felt like they were big parties where everyone knew one another, and you had completely fall in step with their way of doing things to belong there. I really don’t mean to be judgmental, but when I’m in ‘artistic spaces’ where everyone’s accents sound like they’re practically royal, my skin crawls a bit. And it’s felt to me at times like it’s all one big performance of irony and edginess and ‘getting it’. I went to one reading where in all six pieces that were shared, not a single emotion was expressed other than horniness or vague confusion, or some combination of the two. Very dissociative. And I like dissociative writing, and I like the humour, but not where it feels like all there’s space for.

I wanted there to be a space where people who are writing to engage earnestly with the practice could feel they had the stage. I wanted writers like me, who haven’t allowed themselves to identify as writers, to feel legitimised. I wanted it to be clear that there’s no secret trick to being a writer, there’s no special thing other people have that you don’t- what you need is the opportunity.

Something I love about COY is that after each piece, I chat with the writer about anything from their process, to specific themes and concepts, to their feelings about the world of writing. I love to hear from writers, particularly writers who typically wouldn’t get to have that kind of conversation, and I thought maybe other people would feel the same way. Turns out they really do!

That’s why I settled on COY as the name, all-caps even though it doesn’t stand for anything because I’m trying to SHOUT. I felt so sick of undermining my writing and my place in the scene, so I started to reframe it. You know what? I’m not insecure, I’m coy. I know what I’ve got, and you know what I’ve got, and I’m playing any nervousness off as though it’s this kind of flirtation, this coquettishness. At least, that’s what I’m telling myself. I don’t know if I’m there yet, but I want the featured readers to be. I want them to know they have their place, and that their work is special and needed.

: Talking about the first COY event , has there been a reading or conversation there that stuck with you deeply, and if so, why?

: Honestly, all of it. I’m so honoured to know the incredible writers who’ve shared their work at the events. I always have a moment when I’m pre-reading their piece, something comes over me and I get a bit emotional about the fact that they’re sharing it at my event. Because they have been so talented, they’ve shared such impactful pieces, and I just feel so honoured and inspired.

I think rather than a specific reading or conversation (because literally every word is so golden, I couldn’t pick), the moment that sticks with me so much was towards the end of the first reading. At a certain point I realised people were enjoying it. Not just that, but that we were all connected. You could almost feel in the air that everyone felt part of something, and they were all so excited to have been witness to these artists, and the sensation I was trying to create- that the writers were excellent but that writing is accessible- landed. I’d planned and prepared for the whole thing without thinking about what would happen if it went well, and then it went better than I could have hoped.

When I chatted to people afterwards and they’d stumbled upon the event online, shown up with friends, alone, some of them being big fans of the readers, that really made the night for me. Writing can be so much about output and digging deep, so much about yourself, but when I run COY events I feel a bit like I become a vessel for other artists, like I get to shine a light on them. It’s so special, and I can’t wait for the next one (whenever that might be!).

Being “a good person” or “a bad person” was always something subjective to me, but the way human beings measure the “goodness” in someone has never changed. In a very Kafkaesque manner, human beings have their own drawings of Stitch good/ Stitch bad (see picture below) and they measure that on utility.

Your coworker is being rude to someone else, but he’s not rude to you, plus he reheats your food everyday for you, so that’s ok. A villain on a TV show is kinda terrible but he’s hot and he provides you with entertainment, so it’s ok. There’s a toxic contestant on Love Island, he’s very attractive, you forgive him, you invite him to your podcast. People will freak out, they’ll understand!

Humans are naturally morally grey, right?! No one has been perfect 100% of the time, everyone said things they shouldn’t have, and your boyfriend would eventually leave you if you turned into a worm, I’m so sorry. I probably would try to move on if my boyfriend turned into a worm, so I guess I would lose points in the morality game . I’d take care of him so he doesn’t die, which makes me gain at least half a point.

I’ve noticed something, though: Everything I’ve said to justify human beings being morally grey never seems to apply to women. Women are strictly analyzed, constantly measured, endlessly compared to every other living thing on earth all the time.

If you’re a woman, you live in a society where your mistakes define you far more than your accomplishments ever will. Meanwhile, the most vile, disgusting men get away with everything, no regret, no apologies, no change (they even get to be president).

In this society, it’s practically illegal to fuck up, apologize, move on, and do better if you’re a woman. You’re cursed forever. The way people judge women’s actions (especially on social media) makes it seem like everyone’s auditioning for the Vatican.

Here’s how that utility theory me and Kafka share applies to women (in a bad way): In the World Wide Web, it doesn’t matter whether you’re a public figure or not (privacy is a myth here) , you can actually be very useful. If you’re a “useful woman” ,with the perfect body, working at Brandy Melville, all is well. Looking at you is useful. Wishing to be you is useful. But the moment you’re not useful anymore, there’s always the risk of a 67-page document being fabricated, listing every embarrassing thing you’ve ever done (via ChatGPT, of course).

Every mistake you made while simply trying to grow will become content, gossip and entertainment for strangers. Like a court jester. Like a woman. Even when you’re trying to grow, you’re still being made useful in a sick and twisted way.

If I regret the embarraaaaassinnng shit I’ve said on group chats when I was sixteen, I can’t even imagine what it feels like to be sixteen to this day. This curated, fake persona that needs to be cultivated at all times (I’m Amanda! I’m doing amazing! My hair is long and beautiful! I’m wearing sweats everyday , but in a Copenhagen way! My grades are always UP! I’m NOT outspoken about anything at all!) makes it impossible to succeed at being human. This egocentric unilateralist nature of relationships makes me seriously think that human beings are not apt to cultivate interpersonal relationships anymore. As a woman, I’m not who I am. I’m who you want to see at the moment, and that girl does not make mistakes.

When the TikTok influencer you replaced your licensed therapist for tells you that you should immediately cut off a relationship the second that person makes a mistake (emotional/ physical abuse or anything of that sort is not one of these mistakes), that leaves no space for growth whatsoever, and, to me, that is like denying the human essence. That also amplifies the hate women who are outspokenly themselves get, because they’re more prone to not being perfect. These kinds of women are the ones they nitpick the most while looking for flaws and mistakes.

Given that good people do bad things and bad people do good things, and so it fucking goes, I’ve always despised the way the complex, nuanced matter of who gets to be good and who gets to be bad is treated on the internet, especially when:

A) We don’t personally know who we’re talking about.

B) Sometimes, you just hate the fact that a woman is outspoken.

It also breaks my heart when this kind of behavior is encouraged in the “I didn’t do X in my 20s, I didn’t do Z when I was her age, so why shouldn’t I judge this person” form. We should have more empathy with ourselves.

Whenever your favorite white male actor does something… questionable… here you go with, well, you already know what’s coming out of your mouth (repeat with me): “Not everyone was raised the same way and we all have things that we were neglected of that make us act a certain way.” And you know what? That’s absolutely right. I just wish women could receive the same empathy. When you make mistakes as a woman, it’s less about pointing out someone else’s fuck ups in a nice, constructive way, focused on growth, and more about you and about how you would NEVER do that. It’s always like that when it comes to women, separating us into two worlds, the receivers of pristine morality and paternal love, and the antichrists. Clean girl and Messy girl (they also make it seem like the messy girl is dirty and I do not fuck with that).

You see that I’m not defending people who make mistakes, or saying that we should see someone obviously making a mistake and not correct them, I’m just saying that telling other person “You should die” or “I would never ever do something like that… you should… also die!” is not the correct form of constructive criticism for someone you’ve never met in your life. Just because an algorithm is constructed around you and around your personal interests, it doesn’t mean that what people do (or do not do) with their lives has to make any sense, or be appealing to you, but as I’ve said previously, women are relentlessly scrutinized, constantly judged, and endlessly compared to everything and everyone around them, all the time.

Every content you see about famous women online looks like this: “The hidden, ugly truth of [blank]”, “You’ll never look at [blank] the same way”, “You’ll never guess what [blank] did at the bathroom of their little cousin’s bluey themed party”. Everything is about that dopamine from breaking the expectation of the perfect girl that is cultivated on social media, and it feels like everyone is secretly waiting for your downfall. “See? I always knew something was off about her…, “She finally got what she deserved”. “I have always hated her, now I have a reason”.

Call me a bad person, but I certainly don’t want anyone creating this expectation that I’m someone who’s always doing what’s best for me and someone who’s constantly doing better and better, because that’s not life, and when it LOOKS like you’re doing fine and when it LOOKS like you’re evolving, more people will try to break that expectation for you. There’s probably someone out there who’s dying to show to others that ,even though you just got a promotion and even though you’ve been sober for years, you have made mistakes!! People will be out there, willing to expose every single one. Again, not to make you grow, but to make you feel ashamed, or to belittle your accomplishments.

I might not be doing what’s best for me in some ways, but I sure am a person who gives others a chance to get better and evolve, because making mistakes and learning from them is inherent to the human experience. I always say that you can’t change what happened, but you can grow and be a better person every single day so that doesn’t define who you are anymore.

When God (aka Lena Dunham, aka ) touched my heart by writing “Growth isn’t linear, it’s messy, complicated, and absolutely worth every step”, I immediately felt SO present. Fuck!!!!! Besides being a woman, I’m a human being! Can I take off this fucking bra and breathe????? Sometimes, the best thing you can do is just accept your human condition, turn off your phone and live your life.

We tend to think that just because it’s “just the internet” or “just social media culture,” it doesn’t really impact our real lives, but it does. As someone with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder who has been chronically attached to my phone, even going out and trying something new felt like committing a crime, because what if I make a mistake? That’s how deep the fear and guilt can run. It takes very little for a woman with OCD to feel like she’s done something wrong, like she’s a criminal, just for stepping outside the norm. Only we know what we go through.

And when women aren’t met with understanding or compassion while simply being themselves, that fear only deepens. We’re left believing that we have to follow whatever pattern social media culture deems acceptable. It trains us to stay inside the lines, never experiment, never make mistakes, because doing so makes us feel like we’re doing something shameful.

That pressure is incredibly damaging to mental health. It was to mine.

Fellow women: Write about your journey with addiction, even if you relapsed, write about how you feel on relationships, even though you made mistakes when you were in one. You don’t have to be Vatican perfect to write and share what’s in your heart. To me, being good or being bad is not about mistakes, but about what you do in order to grow from them. There’s always time for growth, always.

Live your truth, embrace your mistakes, try to grow from them, don’t beat yourself up, treat others with kindness and respect, Don’t do to others what you don’t want to be done to you, it’s not a crime to fuck up (unless it is).

Be a bad person in their eyes.

If you do some of these things, I’m VERY proud of you, and you’re doing amazing, if you don’t do any of these things, try them and thank me later. I have accumulated a very considerable amount of Substack knowledge over the time I’ve been around, so I’ll make this a series if you’d like.

Promoting your work with teacher Ames (she’s back!)

1) Find your voice and be true to yourself.

Before promoting your work, you obviously have to focus… on your work.

• What will you write about?

• Who is your ideal reader?

Answering these questions has nothing to do with being clear about your niche, I hate that, and I think that you should write about whatever you want. You’ll have an idea on what will be the main focus of your newsletter be as you go, though. It’s usually what you like to write about the most, or what you keep gravitating towards, even though you don’t mean to. You can’t even imagine what a poet’s grocery list transforms itself into, sometimes. They can’t help it.

Either way, if you want my advice, I’d say that your voice matters more than the topics you choose to discuss. Focus on bettering your work and finding your voice first. Whatever it is, don’t forget to be honest. People remember honesty and people remember vulnerability, after all, it is what makes us human and it is what makes us relate to each other. Life.

2) Trust yourself and have trust in your craft.

Once you’ve found your voice, you need to fully trust it. You need to have trust that you did the best that you could with what you had, that you explored everything there is to be explored within that topic in particular.

• Look at your material a billion times!

• Sit with it!

• Perfect it as much as you can!

• Post!

Only post something when your heart can’t hold it anymore, you know you did the best that you could, you believe in your work, you trust it enough.

Before posting, you could do the Coco Chanel method (delete more and more words as you re-read), or you could do the Amanda method (add more and more words as you re-read), whatever your heart desires, and whatever you feel like is necessary to your work, since it’s your work and not anyone else’s (remember that).

3) RESEARCH THINGS BEFORE YOU EVEN POST SOMETHING!

This is an extra one, if you’re about to post something on someone else’s work, whether that is a book, a TV show, a fashion brand, write a draft, sit with it and:

• Take notes on books about it, maybe watch documentaries about it, take notes of all kinds of media there is on what you’re researching, that gives you much more credibility

That’s my favorite thing to do when I read a book that I enjoy and that I feel like writing about, that’s why the posts take months to come out (it’s always a joy when they do). Just because you’re writing for a social media platform doesn’t mean it has to be sloppy. Even people that used to write for Wattpad got book deals. Be organized and passionate.

Taking notes is IMPORTANT, and you can make it as fun and as inspiring as !

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