Establish playful rapport early

Whether you meet a woman through online dating, cold approach, or through a social circle, you want to make sure a level of comfort and rapport has been established before the date even happens.

There’s a balance to this because you also want to save the mystery for the date and not become a hapless pen pal online, but it’…

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Important Note: This post is intended for adults only over the age of 18.

You might be wondering: “I’m not a virgin. This seems like clickbait—why should I read this?” This advice can be applied to virtually any guy who feels like he’s starting from ground zero in his dating life, like guys who are coming out of long-term relationships, where it can feel like starting over.

I’ve seen young (adult) guys post online about being a virgin and wanting to improve their dating/sex lives.

Let’s get right to it—without further ado, this is my advice to the virgins. Keep your heads up, young kings.

1. Stay away from any porn whatsoever and limit masturbation. Unfortunately, porn is the only exposure a lot young guys have ever had to sexuality, and it’s likely a significant contributor to severe awkwardness around women. Porn is a constructed fantasy, and it sets unrealistic expectation of what arouses women, and what to expect from sex. It’s also highly demotivating. Porn is a (destructive) safety net for guys; if you don’t have real sex, there’s always a release. If you take away that release, you’ll be motivated to actually go out there and make things happen. To start, try to go for two weeks without porn and masturbation, and see if you’re not motivated—or if you fear rejection as much.

   

“Neflix and chill? But I only have Hulu…”

2. Treat dating solely as an experiment to hook up and improve your social skills. For now— forget finding a girlfriend, forget any type of commitment. Your only objective right now is to hook up, gain confidence, and build social skills. The relationship stuff will come. You WILL be a better boyfriend with more sexual and dating experience under your belt. You’ll also have confidence that you can attract other women, so you won’t be needy when you meet a girl who has promise as something more.

3. Get good photos and hit the apps hard. This can’t be reiterated enough. Pay a few hundred bucks from a reviewed photographer to get some great dating app photos—for God’s sake, don’t use selfies you took under a dim bulb in your closet. The upfront investment in good photos is well worth it if you are serious about improving your dating life. Don’t just sign up for Tinder, also use Bumble and Hinge. Remember, at this point dating is nothing more than an experiment to hook up and improve social skills.

   Of all the apps, in my experience it was easiest to get dates from Hinge. Don’t overlook it for dating opportunities and just focus on Tinder. Use all your resources.

4. Don’t make your virginity a big issue in your mind. If you go on dates, don’t make having sex at the forefront of your mind. Yes, hooking up is an objective, but don’t be desperate or thirsty about it. Women can sense desperation. Every date you go on is a win because you are exercising your social skills. Be relaxed, have fun. Remove the pressure. This won’t be your only opportunity, trust me.

Don’t bring up the fact that you’re a virgin on dates, or if you’re about to hook up. It’s not dirty secret that you need to reveal to her. If she asks, put a positive spin on it. Say that before you hadn’t put yourself out there much, but you’ve decided to change that. It’s only a big deal or a source of shame if you make it one.

5. Put yourself in social situations where you can interact with attractive women so the intimidation factor is taken away. Pick an activity that you’re genuinely interested in that typically involves attendance with beautiful women—yoga and dance classes come to mind. Don’t come with the intention of even flirting. Just talk to them as human beings and friends—be the chill guy who is good at the activity and wants to learn. You will demonstrate value, and see that attractive women aren’t to be feared or treated differently. This is also a great opportunity to build your social network—having attractive women that can vouch for you to their friends will build your base of opportunity.

6. Maximize your fitness, grooming, and fashion. Perhaps this should have been #1, but so many guys miss out on opportunities because they’re lazy with maintaining their personal appearance—or are afraid to take risks with their personal style. Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone with your fashion. Do some research on Youtube or Reddit forums on examples of style that would make you feel confident. If you have a stylish friend, get their advice. Wear clothes that fit well, get a fresh pair sneakers, a fragrance, regular haircuts, and work out at least three times a week. It isn’t the answer to everything in dating, but maximizing your looks will lead to far more opportunities. It will be on you to make sure your confidence and social skills are on par with your looks, if you want to see real change.

I have my own book out called The Foundation: A Blueprint for Becoming an Authentically Attractive Man, which was inspired partly by Models. Check it out if you enjoy my content.

Mark Manson is best known nowadays as the author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, a Millennial self-help blockbuster published back in 2016. However, he began his early career as a Pickup Artist and eventually a mainstream men’s dating coach.

I was introduced to Manson’s work via Models: Attract Women Through Honesty back in 2020, before I had even heard of The Subtle Art.

That year, I was going through a divorce. I sought advice from one of my close friends, who had gone through a divorce himself several years earlier, and had come out better and happier on the other side. I asked him for some advice on updating my look, social skills, and other ways to re-invent myself. He said, “Dude, you have to read Models by Mark Manson. It’s the blueprint.”

I was very intrigued. At that point, the only dating books I was aware of were based on Pickup Artist tactics and manipulation routines, and nothing out there detailed how to actually be an attractive man.

Models was written during 2011, when dating advice centered almost solely on outward behaviors to attract women, rather than taking personal accountability, being vulnerable, and being inherently attractive.

It is largely considered the best men’s dating advice book ever published.

Let’s take a look and see.

Overview

Although a broad range of topics are covered in Models, I believe the book is defined by the following key concepts:

• Non-Neediness

• Vulnerability

• Polarization

• Re-framing rejection

Non-Neediness: The opening chapters of the book cover the concept of neediness, and why it’s so deeply unattractive to women (and people in general). According to Manson, neediness is “…when a man places a higher priority on other’s perceptions of him than his perception of himself.” Manson’s theory is that a man’s attractiveness is inversely proportional to how needy he is. The less needy he is, the more attractive he will be to women on average.

Now, this may seem like common sense, but Manson does an effective job of providing “case studies” of how men demonstrate neediness through various behaviors. For example, he gives the story of how a sociable, popular guy in college settles down, gets worn down by nine-to-five life after college, and puts all of his identity into his relationship—rather than himself—and his girlfriend slowly loses attraction to him. Regardless if these are ‘real people’ or made-up examples, they help bring the concepts of neediness and non-neediness to life.

Vulnerability: According to Models, the ability to become comfortable with your emotions, faults, and being able express yourself without inhibitions—i.e. vulnerability—is crucial to building attraction and deep connections. This is different than unloading all of your issues on someone; Manson does a good job of distinguishing between the two again through several examples, and gives an honest assessment about learning to become emotionally vulnerable. It’s difficult, uncomfortable, and doesn’t happen overnight, but being real and authentic, rather than trying to be perfect and hide the rough edges of our personality.

Polarization: “Everything that is attractive is polarizing.” This is a bold statement which seems counterintuitive for a lot of guys. Traditionally, we’re taught that we’re supposed to do everything to make a woman like us, as a opposed possibly act in a way that could potentially make us disliked.

Manson clarifies that this isn’t supposed to be an act—if you’re controversial for the sake of a certain reaction, you’re being needy. It has to be rooted in honesty: “A man who is uninhibited about expressing his emotions and what he wants will demonstrate non-neediness, thereby attracting a woman immediately forcing her to decide whether she’s receptive or unreceptive.” Manson concedes that being polarizing will sometimes invite rejection—even harsh rejection—but the more polarizing a man is, the more dating opportunities with women he’ll have.

Rejection: The biggest mental hurdle for many men is the ability to handle rejection. Models argues that rejection is often times a good thing, rather than something that is shameful and should be avoided at all costs. Manson states that most men fear rejection because they’re operating on other people’s truths, and not their own.

Most men with weak grasps of their own truth fantasize about never being rejected, ever. This of the section of the book aims to re-frame rejection as something that is shift away from someone that isn’t good for you to being with, arguing that someone should either be a ‘fuck yes’ or ‘fuck no’ about you.

Ultimately, it’s better to get a ‘no’ rather than a ‘meh, maybe.’ A great point of view that Manson promotes is that most of the time, the rejection isn’t about you. Yes, sometimes men deserve to be rejected, but there often a million extraneous circumstances outside of your control. Although this view of rejection provided by Models might be a little idealistic or avoidant, it’s a better alternative than making every single rejection a personal failure.

Impact and Final Review

Models had a massive impact on me. It undoubtedly started me on my path to become a more attractive man, provided a framework for improving my dating life, and inspired me to eventually write about my own experiences. It was an absolute catalyst for change in my life— and thousands of other men can say the same.

Was Models the primary reason I was able re-invent myself, achieve a superior dating life, and build my self-perception after my divorce? No. That was done through action and being highly observant.

A book—no matter how transformative—can only do so much. Models will inspire you and provide guidelines, but just reading a book won’t improve your experiences with women. You have to actually put yourself out there extensively, and learn your own lessons about rejection, neediness, being vulnerable and polarizing. Manson says this himself in the book.

That being said, let’s cover my favorite parts of the book, my critiques, and final review.

The Good:

Perhaps the best thing about Models is that it simply puts you in a great state of mind and motivates you to take action. You feel more hopeful, grounded, and actually feel like a more attractive man after reading it. If I were to recommend a book to start rehabilitating an Incel, or a guy who is divorced and angry with women, I would start with Models. It can provide a profound mindset shift if the reader is open to it. One of the harsh, yet fundamental truths that men need to hear is: “You are not a victim.”

Although Models was published back in 2011, it doesn’t feel dated in terms of the keys concepts. That’s quite an accomplishment— considering that the dating landscape has changed so much over the decade-plus since it was released.

I felt that the examples the Manson provided in his book— both his own personal stories and the “case studies”—really rounded out the concepts and brought them to life. After re-reading my own book, it’s something I wish I had done more; I might incorporate more personal stories in a revised version down the road. Stories and examples bring ideas to life, rather than straight-forward “do this, not that” advice.

Although the concepts of non-neediness and vulnerability are perhaps what Models is best known for, it contains some really valuable advice about outward physical appearance and presentation. In my opinion, the book has some underrated advice on body language and voice tonality that shouldn’t be skipped.

Although the focus of this book is geared more towards Inner Game and mindset, the logistical dating advice is solid. The best overall concept related to actual dating logistics was Demographics in chapter 7. At a very high level, this is essentially the idea of putting yourself in social circles where you are more likely to meet the type of women you want to date. On the surface it sounds like a basic concept, but the chapter details this crucial component of dating logistics that is never really thought of. After you read it, male Demographics a key consideration of you dating strategy moving forward.

Critiques:

My biggest critique of Models is that it doesn’t delve into how to achieve certain mindsets needed for success. Being non-needy requires a lot of work, self-reflection, and development. So does vulnerability. Although Manson provides examples and stories of needy behavior—what not to do—I wish he would have spent more time on the specific steps or actions needed to achieve those mindsets. To his credit, he’s very upfront and realistic about how it can be a difficult path to be emotionally vulnerable and non-needy.

My other primary critique is that Models can be a little too idealistic for today’s dating world, especially considering what men have to deal with. In one part of the book, it surmises that “She’s rooting for you.” Meaning, that a woman who you just started dating believes in you, and somehow knows that you can be the most attractive version of yourself. Call it cynical, but in today’s world I just don’t think that’s the case. Models was written in 2011, before online dating really became mainstream. The dating world is far more competitive than it was back then, and society in general is more hostile towards men. That being said, I think it’s better to be positive and idealistic rather than paranoid and generalizing of women than a lot of the Red Pill content that is popular nowadays.

My final minor critique is that the sex advice in Models—particularly on dirty talk— is cringe and terrible. Just take it for what it is and move on.

Rating

9/10. An undeniable classic—still the GOAT of men’s dating advice books—and this is coming from someone who wrote my own book on the topic (although The Foundation is close).

Models isn’t perfect, but it should be one of the first books you pick up if you want to set yourself on an upward trajectory to improving your dating life. What’s so impressive is that it was written back in 2011, it still feels fresh and impactful in 2024, although it understandably is missing important logistical advice on topics such as Online Dating.

I would recommend Models to ANY man who is feeling hopeless, bitter, or is just starting from ground zero in his dating life. Simply reading a book won’t change your life, but it’s a damn good start.

Cheers,

M.O.

I first became aware of the concept of Covert Contracts from Dr. Robert Glover’s classic book, No More Mr. Nice Guy.

Covert Contracts are unspoken, unconscious agreements where one person expects certain behaviors from another based on their own actions, without explicitly stating these expectations.

The ‘I Love You’ is my favorite Covert Contract example. Parents and people in relationships do this all the time.

They want to hear ‘I love you’ expressed to them by a loved one, so they’ll say it first in hopes of getting the same response.

They’re not saying it to purely express affection and make the other person feel loved with reciprocation. Sure, part of their motivation is to express affection and make the other person feel good, but it’s not the primary objective. Ultimately, it’s fake and disingenuous.

Dr. Glover explains that Nice Guys are guided by three primary Covert Contracts:

“A Nice Guy’s primary goal is to make other people happy. Nice Guys are dependent on external validation and avoid conflict like the plague. Nice Guys are guided by the following three covert contracts:

• If I am a good guy, then everyone will love me and like me (and people I desire will desire me).

• If I meet other people’s needs without them having to ask, then they will meet my needs without me having to ask.

• If I do everything right, then I will have a smooth, problem-free life.”

However, No More Mr. Nice Guy doesn’t fully explore one crucial component of Covert Contracts, which is their deceptive nature—not from an external perspective, but an internal one.

We already know that Covert Contracts are deceptive because they falsely convey selfless behavior to others. That’s the external component.

However, the nature of Covert Contracts leads to self-deception and delusion—often times, we convince ourselves that we’re taking authentic action, when in reality the primary objective is to elicit response from someone else. That’s the internal component.

My personal definition of Authentic Action is the following:

“An action taken based on personal belief, set of ethics, or an expression of true desire wholly independent of the response from others”

That means to truly take an authentic action, you have to be wholly detached from your desire to receive acceptance, approval, or positive reaction from someone. It’s easier said than done.

Often times, Covert Contracts may initially seem like the ‘right’ thing to do. You may think you’re being a decent person, you may think you’re advocating for yourself, when in reality you’re trying to impress someone and win their favor.

A trap that Nice Guys fall into is the concept of the being a ‘gentleman’ on the first date who spares no expense. He figures he likes a woman, he convinces himself that he’s being giving by showing her the best time possible, when in reality, he’s keeping tally on why she should reciprocate with her affection:

Expensive dinner- 1 point

Holding the door - 1 point

Getting flowers - 1 point

The list goes on. Deep down, Nice Guy knows that his kind gestures come with an unspoken expectation. However, since these are outwardly kind actions that benefit her in some manner, he believes that they are selfless.

It’s reflective of Dorian Gray—behind the gentleman veneer is a hideous, needy man.

When she doesn’t respond with affection, the Nice Guy will often respond with extreme anger. The veil gets lifted. He will accuse her of being ungrateful, using him, being a gold digger, etc. He didn’t take her on the expensive date because that’s where he wanted to go, or because he genuinely wanted to show her a good time.

It was all founded on an unspoken expectation, even if the outward action seemed like it was meant to be selfless towards her.

There’s another side of the coin.

Nice Guys fall into the Covert Contract trap when they try to convey strength and boundaries, when in fact, they are just avoiding conflict and being upfront with their emotions.

In these scenarios, Nice Guys believe they are displaying their own resolve, but they are being indirect and weak. A great example of this is going ‘No Contact.’ A guy feels disrespected or ignored by a woman he likes, and he stops contacting her as a freeze-out strategy, in hopes she’ll come crawling back after he distances himself.

On the surface, this seems like an action based on self-respect and unwillingness to be taken for granted. Intent in this situation matters.

If a guy goes no contact after he’s truly done and is ready to move on, regardless of how she responds, then this is a position of strength. It’s not an action designed to elicit a response, it’s founded in a belief in his own self worth, which is independent of outcome. It’s guided by principle.

However, if he’s going no contact as a ruse to get her to re-establish communication, it’s a weak Covert Contract, regardless if it gets the desired result or not. It is still an underhanded, dishonest action guided by a desired result. That person’s opinions/reaction are still dictating you life.

Another example I’ve seen is a rigid refusal to pay for expensive first dates. As someone who generally warns against expensive first dates, it can seem confusing on why not entertaining expensive dates can be a Covert Contract.

However, the concept is not always simple. Here’s an example.

Guy refuses to pay for expensive first dates because he doesn’t want to be used.

He wants to set a clear message to anyone he’s dating that he’s not there to be someone’s meal ticket. Even if he wants to occasionally take some of his first dates to a higher end restaurant he enjoys, which he can afford.

This is understandable. On the surface, he is advocating for himself and doesn’t want to be used.

However, his action is primarily driven not by his personal enjoyment, not by a personal preference or belief, but by impressing someone.

People think that a Covert Contract always involves trying to get someone to have a favorable impression, or to like you, but it can involve trying to win respect or admiration, trying to convey a sense of power.

This doesn’t work when your frame is inherently weak and there’s an underlying fear or insecurity in your action.

As I mentioned in the beginning, it’s very difficult sometimes to ascertain between what is authentic, self-advocating action versus behavior that is designed to influence others. In fact, I think it’s impossible to live completely without Covert Contracts from time to time. We’re social creatures, and it’s natural to want to influence others with our behavior.

That being said, it is crucial to always be honest with yourself and not let Covert Contracts dictate the majority of your behavior. If you believe you are a people-pleasing Nice Guy, and genuinely want to change, recognizing Covert Contracts and living with integrity will be an essential part of your recovery.

Here are some general guidelines on Covert Contract vs Authentic Action

Covert contract:

- Action based to be liked or accepted

- Not based on personal beliefs

- Manipulative

- Makes people dislike you

Authentic action:

- Action based on personal code

- Regardless of what others think

- Make not always be nice, but true

- Ironically, some will respect you more

Discussion:

1. Is there a time when you thought you were being honest and authentic, but you were really operating under a Covert Contract?

2. Do you have a personal code of conduct? Is it written down, or general thoughts you hold onto?

3. Do you disagree with any points in the article? For example, if a guy wants to set a boundary of no expensive first dates, do you feel there’s no harm?

4. Have you read No More Mr. Nice Guy. What are your personal biggest takeaways about the Covert Contracts concept?

There is a prevailing myth out there that women are enamored with the feelings from their past, and hold onto those feelings forever.

Y’know, history ❤️

Shared experience.

Bonding.

Bullshit.

Reali…

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Negging, eyeliner, feather boas, AMOG, KINO, compliance testing, peacocking, disqualification, push-pull, fuzzy hats…

The bizarre terminology and regalia associated with Pickup Artistry has unfortunately made the movement a pop culture punchline—an early 2000’s time capsule of Cringe.

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Before you dismiss this as Anti-Woman Grift—

In their current position as the Most Valued Consumer in the Dating Marketplace, women predominantly (and mistakenly) view themselves as the most qualified to give advice to men on how to be successful in dating.

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I distinctly remember the first time I saw the power of physical touch on dates.

A dinner date, with straightforward conversation. She was a tall, thin, blonde vegan chick named Allie. The rapport was mediocre. She was wasn’t necessarily cold, but she wasn’t necessarily enthusiastic, either.

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Underrated, Simple Ways To Kill Creepiness and Improve Your Cold Approach Vibe

Get an intense workout in before you go out to approach. You will be riding high on endorphins, your body language will be more on point, as well as your self-perception and confidence. Going straight from the couch out into the public is a transition that doesn’t promote opti…

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I live near Orlando.

Part of the core identity of being a Central Floridian is our city’s association with the infamous Interstate 4, better known as I-4.

I-4 consistently ranks as THE deadlie…

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Tall Women. The true Goddesses in flesh here on Earth; they move about with a quiet burden—a subtle woundedness.

They loomed over most of the boys in their classes during Middle and Elementary school, a discrepancy that would imprint on their psyche permanently.

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1. You Can’t Always Get What You Want- Rolling Stones

2. Teenage Wasteland - The Who

3. Master of Puppets…

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For the Zoomers in the audience: The Cars were a popular New Wave band in the 1980’s. Ric Ocasek was their primary singer.

In addition to his time in the Cars, he was also a celebrated music producer, primarily known for his work on Weezer’s debut album.

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Part 1 - Developing Inner Game: Independence, Charisma, Resilience and Growth

Independence

Independence is the essential element of a powerful, dynamic masculinity. This sense of independence is driven by purpose. Purpose is the one thing that defines you, which you feel incomplete without. Purpose doesn’t include advancing in your career or romantic relationships.

Another key component of independence is embracing the concept that you are on your own. Only you truly understand your desires and ambitions. Friends and family don’t always want what’s best for you; even if they do, they may have misguided thoughts about what YOU want.

Charisma

Charisma isn’t as much about how people feel about you, but rather how you make them feel about themselves. From the Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox Cabane, the elements of charisma are: Power, Presence, and Warmth.

Some general points on charisma:

- Your thoughts define you

- Learn to be an engaged, present listener

- Become a student of non-verbal communication and body language

Resilience and Growth

Gratitude is the cornerstone of resilience. Despite any problem you have, understand relative suffering, that there are those out there who are truly suffering.

The false threshold- the belief that life will be easy once you reach a certain milestone. This is a false belief. There will always be difficulty, and your development as person never ends.

Visualization and self-talk are crucial components of growth. Your mind has difficulty distinguishing reality from your inner dialogue and imagination. If your inner narrative is consistently negative, it WILL be your reality.

Part 2- Understanding Attraction

1. Keep it simple. There isn’t some mystery to being fundamentally attractive. 90% is maintaining your health, fitness, grooming, having decent social skills, and having your life together

2. Self limiting beliefs. Self limiting beliefs that hold men back:

- Leagues

- Alpha Male bullshit

- The One- there’s “one” person out there

3. High value characteristics:

- Having respectful, clearly defined boundaries

- Being able to handle rejection gracefully

- Being truly busy and not always available

- Being what you want to attract and more

4. The world is truly abundant in terms of dating opportunities. There are 7 billion people on the planet. Just purely by the numbers, even if .01 of the women on earth found you attractive, you still wouldn’t have the time or resources to date them all

Tips for cold approach:

- Be outcome dependent, think of it as an adventure

- Smile

- Don’t be timid with your voice

- Don’t drag the conversation along

Tips for online dating:

- Online dating is nothing more than a tool and fun social experiment, don’t get all in your feelings about it

- EVERYONE gets ghosted, flaked, used for attention, NOT just you

- Pictures are the most important element. Only use high-resolution photos, limit selfies. Be somewhat irreverent and polarizing in your profile

Exercises:

The final chapter is more than 10 exercises which out the concepts into practice.

Conclusion:

You have to undergo high levels of discomfort , work and sacrifice. Most modern men want things like a beautiful girlfriend but refuse to get outside of their comfort zone and put in the work.

Don’t forget to be patient with yourself and HAVE FUN. By simply getting out of your head a little, things will naturally fall into place. It’s incredibly important that we lift each other up as men and celebrate each other’s victories.

Bulking God- The foundational rules

Every Day is in fact Arm Day. It’s not just an exaggerated Bro-ism. Your arms will be trained every day if you utilize daily pushups and an effective gym routine, which includes a day dedicated just to arms.

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In my opinion, the term Game is severely misrepresented. It’s often associated with manipulation, lying, and general dishonesty to sleep with women.

Are there elements of manipulation involved on occasion? Sure.

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Disclaimer: Dividendology is not a Financial advisor or licensed professional. The content of this article should not be considered as advice. All content is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Michael Owen and Dividendology are not responsible for any financial losses or gains. Invest and trade at your own risk.

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Pook posted on Sosuave several years ago, and his postings were compiled into The Book of Pook, which is considered to be one of the definitive books on Inner Game.

I highly recommend purchasing the book and reading it in its entirety— as there a hundreds of gems that I likely missed in this summary. Below are summaries from various sections of the book.

A Pook is A Pook!

• Big Change came when I realized that I was the problem

  • The solution to the problems is not the women, but in yourself.

  • Nice Guy: HE is right and the WORLD/WOMEN are wrong. He is backwards. He is wrong and the WOMEN are right.

Pook Man's Advice to a Suffering Newbie

• Women aren't complicated, our feelings just get in the way of what we WANT to do rather than what we SHOULD do

• True passion can only be achieved when the man is willing to walk away.

• Flowers and gifts should be used as a reward, not an item to buy affection.

  • When a woman treats you with indifference, you challenge her.

  • When a woman treats you with disrespect, you withdraw your affection and time

  • When a woman treats you well, you reward her.

Fifteen Lessons

1. Rejection is better than regret. When you find yourself hesitant, always yield to action. In world of Hesitation, you shred off more and more of your manliness until you turn into a full fledged NICE GUY

2. Friendship- Abandon all hope ye who enter! Avoid the friendship route. When you see a woman you are interested in, go for her romantically. For a friend she sees, a friend you shall always be

3. Woman is a sphinx with no secret. It is only our minds that we assign her secrets, mysteries, pedestals, and goddess-like status

4. Patience is the refined sense of confidence. "Hear me, Don Juan! There are women around and other men are hitting on them! What is your reaction?" The Don Juan shrugged his shoulders and laughed.

5. Listen to your gut. "No philosophy in the world can do you any good. You can either flow with the system and get what you want or you can buck in pain. Listen to that gut."

6. Two men have the same origins, yet the destinations are different. First man never broke free of the womb like feeling around his mother. He sought to replicate it over and over. He eventually found a girl, chose the first one that actually liked him, and married.
   The marriage lasted only a few years until the divorce came. He said,"Why did she leave me?" "I cherished her!" She complained, "He disgusted me. The second young man realized that childhood was over. Rather than looking towards replicating that sense of summer vacation, he launched into reality. "I will not live my life as a nothing!" he declared. He was in a constant state of self-improvement. He got to PICK what woman he wanted. He got to PICK what career he wanted. It was because he was a man who chose to ground up the world.

7. Respect is all. "Now let us ask a question to that opposite sex. Arise woman!" Answer this riddle, why do men who are willing to walk away turn you on?" And the woman laughs. "Didn't everyone know this? A man that can walk away means he has his pick of the litter and the woman can easily be replaced." The Great Catch is respect. She is supposed to celebrate life with you, not use you as a peon.

8. Only the Sexual Ones get the girls. "Most men are scared of their sexuality. They are not men; they are androgynous."

9. Do not be contained by formula. "If the rules were successful, why would he abandon them?" "Because he realized he was successful not by the rule and guides, but by the approaching and fun mindset the rules and guides demanded."

10. As you think you shall become. You cannot control the situation, but you can control yourself, your emotions, your life. You can win her until you focus on winning you. You cannot grasp female nature until you grasp male nature.

11. Getting a girl is not success. "Most guys still think like women. They think that by sleeping with lots of women, having a girlfriend, or wife, they are successful with women. Drop the 'getting a girl is success' mantra.

12. All things women want...confidence, humor, spontaneity. These are all qualities of a man living out his imagination. Embrace dreams, stop trying to be perfect in the woman's eyes for you'll wrong the truest commandment with sexuality: Do not bore women

13. Charm is treating women like little girls. "Are you saying that I ought to be child-like?" "Yes!"

14. Always have a back up chick! "The problem is that he is not married or engaged to her! So he is acting married to her when really they are 'dating' or 'just friends'. "Go for MANY or go for NONE"

15. "Opportunities are brilliantly disguised as impossible situations!"

To INCREASE Testosterone

• No more analyzing: Turn OFF your computer and stop reading and re-reading seduction knowledge. The only true benefit of seduction material was not the HOWs of seduction, it was opening your eyes to how Nature works

• Build up the body

• Joining a sport

• Don't take yourself so seriously

• Start doing things 'the awful jerks' do

• A new start: Let us consider the Nice Guy vs Jerk debate to be over. The Nice Guy is a male who is afraid or doesn't embrace his testosterone. The Jerk should be seen as the Testosteronized Male.

On Embracing Sexuality

• Seen plane of sexuality: touching, kissing, etc.

• Unseen plane: Voice tone, eye contact, a connection. Desire is what will get you with beautiful girl. However, this desire needs to be transmitted along this 'unseen' plane. Eye contact is displaying your desire into her eyes.

• In order for a girl to melt, there needs to be fire. Fire in your eyes. Fire in your lips. Fire in your touch.

• There is a reason why women have a fantasy of being in a crowded room and a guy locking eye contact. It is his DESIRE for her. She LOVES being desired. It makes her feel like a woman. Beautiful innocent women's role in nature is to be desired, not desiring.

Let Yourself Fail!

• The reason why you are here on this website was because you failed at achieving what you wanted with women

• Do you allow yourself to fail? Or do you search on posts on EXACTLY how you should act on a dates? Do you try to push your comfort zones or do you read pages of seduction material for the 435473th time?

• Failure is a necessary component of growth. Let yourself fail. Not all the time. You are not the Nice Guy who crashes and burns without a clue. Don Juans are made by failing, not by succeeding.

• "May I kiss you?" the Nice Guy asks. He doesn't want to make her 'uncomfortable'. If this Nice Guy risked failing, he would just kiss her and go for it.

What I've Learned

• Go for the number, go for the date

• Don't talk about yourself (Focus the conversation on her and her interests)

• Demand respect! (She may not give your her company, she may not give you her affection, but she should always give you her respect)

• Don't be afraid to disagree

• Women are never the priority (Your life is more important. Women take a backseat to your passions and hobbies)

• Self improvement will get you no girls. But it does make it much easier. If you don't have the balls to risk than nothing you can do will get girls.

• Confident guys are confident because they know that it will come. If it is not now, then it will come. Patience has been the biggest element to my success that anything else.

Dating is a Win-Win

• Do not look at women as a win or lose game. THE GOAL is to find a woman you love and one who loves you back (without either settling).

• The goal is NOT to make every chick like you. The goal is to make YOURSELF happy. Think of it as a weeding out process where THE ONE is at the end

As You Think, You Shall Become

• Nice Guy: This guy is still acting like a chick, like a henid. He is in the orbit of the hot chick and feels so mystified by her. The Nice Guy is boring but never realizes this, because he feels 'so good' being around her. This is why the Nice Guy keeps doing his stupid dinner dates

• Player: This guy knows how stupid the Nice Guy is and strives to CONTROL the chick. He aims at rapport and 'creating attraction'. He is trying to CREATE FEELINGS in the chick. This guy is still at GROUND ZERO. He is not in the negative world of the Nice Guy, but he still hasn't understood the role Nature has. This path leads only to vanity, never love.

• Don Juan: The Nice Guy is drunk with his feelings. The Player keeps thinking over power and control over the chick's feelings. The Don Juan gives off feelings, unconsciously; he is a sexual light in the world the women flock to.

• The players, seducers, etc. are caught in between. They still don't understand the power of imagination. In fact, they blame imagination for them being a Nice Guy.

Be a Man!

• What is a man? Decades and centuries ago, the question was nonsense. But today in our feminized culture (maybe more in America), most of us have been raised to believe that there is something inherently wrong with being a man and acting the way how a man should act. No wonder males don't know how to act around women. No wonder websites (forums) like these exist!

• The disgrace of men is not embracing your true nature: following your passion and, thus, loving life.

• Women are to enhance your life, not be your life. Nice Guy, stop placing your happiness on getting a girlfriend. Jerk, quit wasting your life on seduction, don't SPEND your time chasing girls. INVEST it by putting it into your interests and desires, thus the whole of your life

• Qualities of a great guy:

  • Deterministic and level headed. If crappy stuff happens to him, he rolls with the punches and learns

  • Has deep convictions: never gives up his morals or ideals for anything

  • Does not go through life walking on eggshells. "Does she like me?" "How do I get her to like me?"

  • Focuses on his dreams

  • Does not apologize for his testosterone, or desires

  • Tries to always win at what he does

  • Has deep convictions that allows him to be a possible leader

  • Seeks to solve problems than to place blame

  • Sees failure as temporary setback

  • Never loses his passion, for that would be the death of his soul

  • Never feels he has to prove himself to anyone

Feminism Put On Trial!

"That is the purpose of feminism: to let women do whatever they want with an air of morality, to turn feminine immorality into virtue. Thus, the problem of feminism is not men but women."

The truth: Feminism is not declaring war on masculinity but on femininity! Feminism is a political Tower of Babylon to escape the truth of Human Nature

The feminist ranted and raved. When she was done, Pook gave a calm and logical presentation, outlining what was already discussed. Feminism is essentially about DESEXULIZATION. This is where Nice Guys, AFCs, come from. This is why feminists are so bitter. But since sexuality is no longer embraced, male-female harmonics becomes disrupted. Androgynous people sport in sex since it is the only way to make them feel male/female.

Talking to Girls

• Don't compliment unless its something you are genuinely impressed by (authenticity is key)

• Everyone likes to feel unique and special in their own way. Show interest in HER and her life. While you are finding out everything about her, YOU have remained a mystery since you are not trying to sell yourself. The chick will love someone asking about herself AND her interest in you will grow because she wants to know more about you. Also, the more information you get, the better off and more precise you can take the next step with a higher probability of success

• DON'T be sweet. LISTEN to her and add in your thoughts (don't try to fix her problems, UNDERSTAND them)

• If she ever makes to mad, tell her EXACTLY WHY YOU'RE MAD. Amazingly, girls love it because girls want HONESTY and DIRECTNESS. Many girls will put up a TEST of standing you up just to see if you will swallow it like a nice guy, or if you will have the strength to put them in their place. Women are not attracted to guys they can control.

• Humor is always good. Always be light spirited, warm, and humorous. But when she is talking to you seriously, always listen and UNDERSTAND how she feels.

Aphorisms

• The difference between successful people and unsuccessful people is this: the former INVESTS his time while the latter SPENDS his time.

• The more divided a man is between his dream and himself, the more he will point to how 'nice' he is, how intellectual he is, and unceasingly inform us on how 'rotten' the world is

• Philosophy is the refuge for those who refuse to be flesh and blood

• Who are truly unhappy males? It is those who live for the women's desire. These include the Nice Guys, the Players, and anyone who dresses, talks, and even puts their profession at what 'women want.' These guys have no sense of self when a woman stands before them.

• Don Juaning works best when you don't think about it too much.

• Men and women fail in their relationships usually because they think they ought to act in some type of way to gain the other person's favor. It never works. And even if it did work, you still aren't compatible. It shows that one person is scared of their own world.

• Ignoring the truth of sexuality is ignoring the truth of life.

• Manners for men: direction of masculine strength, not denial of it.

• Beautiful women and romanticism are like oil and water, they do not mix. Choose one.

• Often a women's beauty will echo your finished world. The unfinished world will get unfinished women.

• People love optimistic people. No woman will want an unhappy guy. She has enough problems already.

• Women will never stop surprising you.

• You are not free to be nothing. Nature has given you a gender, one you did not choose. You must act like a man, look like a man, and be a man. If you refuse to do so, you will not attract the women you want, and Nature will burn you with melancholy.

• If you compare the Nice Guy and the Don Juan, what is the REAL difference? Is it really one has 'game' and the other doesn't? Or is one more HUMAN than the other? When a lady views a Nice Guy and the Don Juan, who will she be more comfortable with? The humanized one. The unfinished men (i.e. Nice Guys) are meant for the unfinished women.

• Sexuality, families, and men did not come about because of society. To the contrary, sexuality, and men are what made society possible in the first place.

• Don't listen to guys who say they can get all the women but cannot write a coherent paragraph

• Some think sexuality and morality contradict each other. They REINFORCE one another. Sexuality is not just lust. It is Man. It is Woman. It is families. It is the life cycle itself.

• The more successful you become in life, the more people will despise you. No one despises the innocent Nice Guy who happily takes orders. But everyone envies the one who knows what he wants and takes it, the guy who won't be played, the guy who manages to unite dream and day.

Edit: Most of this info is solid. But I thoroughly disagree with his recommendation to remove your availability and affection when there is disrespect. This is weak, passive aggressive Nice Guy behavior. I believe you should always be direct and upfront with your boundaries, and demonstrate your willingness to leave if your reasonably stated boundaries are violated. She will ultimately respect you more. If you show that you want to avoid conflict instead of addressing issues head on, she will continue the behavior.

Those who have seen Dexter likely remember The Trinity Killer. Played brilliantly by John Lithgow, the Trinity Killer was a public-facing Nice Guy who was a monster behind the scenes.

He was a teacher, a church-goer, community leader—his family was always smiling and seemed perfect on the surface. In actuality, he abused and terrorized them, and had bee…

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