Before we dive in, catch up on what you might have missed:

This isn’t about getting out of a reading rut, but making peace with it.

It started in May. While things started looking up in every area of my life, my reading fell by the wayside. Aside from We Dance Upon Demons, I all but forgot what else I read, and I think I re-read the entire Innkeeper Chronicles series for the who-knows-at-this-point time. My long-held Storygraph streak broke, and three books - Waiting for Dawn, Autonomous, and Cleopatra - languished on my ‘currently reading’ section for months.

After the initial sting of the breaking a 361-day streak, I accepted it. This is not a reading chapter (no pun intended), and I’ve accepted that.

I lost my reading momentum. That’s okay. Here are some of the jump starts that are helping me find my reading rhythm again.

I listened to Every Day I Read: 53 Ways to Get Closer to Books by Hwang Bo-reum — the most supportive, non-preachy book about reading there could be. Bo-reum enables of all of my “toxic” reading habits: re-reading books, reading multiple books at the same time, reading in every format. Each chapter is two to three minutes, so it’s the perfect thing to read while you’re doing the little things — making the bed, heating up and eating lunch, walking to the subway. I finished it on a long walk through Central Park on Friday and promptly hugged my phone—that’s how calm it made me feel. The book reminded me that it’s not about hitting a reading goal or contributing to the conversation about the books everyone’s talking about. It’s about reconnecting with yourself by what you choose to pick up and asking “Is this what I want to read? Is this what I want to read right now?” I’ve become a big fan of the “pause” status on Storygraph, and I give myself grace when I change that status to “did not finish.”

Life is too short to force yourself to read something because everyone else is. For me, that’s Yesteryear.

I also finally finished my friend Marisa’s book, Waiting for Dawn. I picked up this book when I was, frankly speaking, in crisis. The first chapters mirrored my life at that moment—bad, gray, pain, marathon. I put it down and picked it back up as things steadied, reading about connection, light, love, and flake (that chapter was a necessary reframe for me). With things finally turning for the better (*knocks on wood*), I was ready to embrace the final chapters of help, perform, heal, and hope. For as much as I’m still processing all of the shit we’ve been through this year, I’m glad that this book fell into my hands when it did, and that I slowly read it as each chapter met me where I was. Had I read it the way I usually read a nonfiction book (usually a heavy skimming over a few days), I would’ve missed so much and still held onto old narratives that I needed to shed.

Waiting for Dawn taught me to read differently.

I’ve always considered myself a mood reader, but I rarely ventured out of the romance genre. Tsubaki Stationery Store, by Ito Ogawa, has been a beautiful introduction to the original and authentic cozy literature (versus the Americanized, algorithmic version that features cats and coffee shops and small towns). It is the most soothing, restorative book. The best comparison I can make to it is to a piece of fudge at one of those old-time candy shops that make it fresh every day. The book is like a small square, one that’s so perfectly satisfying that you slow down to savor each tiny bite. I read this book over weeks, and easily put it down when I had savored the story behind a certain letter. Pre-order it now (it comes out July 7).

There are no medals in reading a certain number of books (and a personal pan pizza isn’t worth speeding through a book that should be savored).

There are so many books I want to read right now—Kennedy Ryan’s Score, The Kennedys and the Windsors (this episode piqued my interest, as did ’ interview with Caroline Hallemann), ’s The Parisian Heist, Gilt Free by my dear friend Keren, and more that are piled up around my home.

I also have a pile of comparison books that I’m studying for my next book, and it’s taking everything in me to not fling myself into this project and abandon everything else. More on that next weekend.

I’ll get to all of these books, and I’m eager to experience them differently from how I used to read.

This might be the first year I’ve abandoned any kind of “books read” goal. And I’m good with it — more than anything.

What are you reading (or rereading) right now? I want to know all the details - the format, how far you’re in the book, and how it’s making you feel.

Leave a comment

things I’m loving right now

• speaking of reading, I’ve been wearing and loving these reading glasses (lightweight without being flimsy, excellent lenses). The brand is having a BOGO sale (with code BOGO), and I plan on buying a backup pair of readers and these sunglasses (I’m fairly certain my Amazon pair aren’t properly polarized). I also really like these square aviators.

• I nodded my way through this entire article—and I would very much like to expand our aperature of ragebait lit to the books about men performing literal crimes against humanity right now, please and thank you.

• I’ve been an annoying evangelist of Cured’s Serenity and Dream gummies, but I’ve been sleeping on their Flow ones for energy & focus. I’ve cut down my daily coffee down to 1 while getting everything done (and having a little late afternoon time to pause before jumping into mom mode).

• ’s examination of millennials’ obsession with credentials was an uncomfortable mirror to how I feel when I scroll lately, and provided a necessary mindset shift on what I can do differently in the short term, and where to double down for the long term.

• Some things I’m feeling for summer - a cropped rugby polo, a perfect summer sweater, and these lemon trousers.

• In honor of Love Island’s return, I give you my favorite Islander Olandria and her incredible post-show run.

If you found this helpful, please consider:

• tapping the ❤️ below (all engagement helps!)

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Take care of yourself, the best you can.

xo,
HPN

I want to preface this post with a confession: less than two years ago, my kids basically lived on the cheese-carb combination with a little bit of Indian food (idly, mostly) thrown in there.

They didn’t start eating these meals overnight, nor do they always eat them (Rhaki is still not a fan of kitchari, and Rho loathes dumplings). But the kids generally follow our weekly dinner menu, and will eat most of the meals I prepare each weekend.

Another confession: we worked our way up to this plan. It started with slowly adding 1 new meal to add to the cheese quesadilla/mac and cheese/grilled cheese/Dr. Praeger’s spinach littles and Brazi Bites cheese bread rotation, which grew to our weekly menu.

A little over a year ago, I started to set out a veggie & cheese plate on the table when they got home, while I finished cooking dinner. Come fall, I was preparing a meal or two over the weekend.

Now, my husband takes the lead on most of the kids’ weekend activities while I prep 6-7 meals each weekend. I typically cook 3-4 meals in a 2-hour stretch, with 1-2 meals going straight into the freezer for our future selves.

Here’s how I approach my weekly meal planning and prep:

• The four-category framework (how I actually decide what to cook each session) and the full recipe bank (by category)

• My typical grocery list (including the meat substitutes I use and like)

• How I batch a week’s meals (or two) in one prep session—and how long it really takes

  • How I modify the meals for my kids

  • How I use Souper Cubes

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I’m nervous to say this, but I think we’ve turned a corner. May was my best month of the year so far, and I’m just grateful for it.

Here’s May, by the numbers:

• 23 meditations

• 18 journal entries

• 10 strength workouts

• 4 books read. There was simply too much TV that numbed my brain and made it difficult for me to focus on reading. I fear the same will happen in June, with Love Island USA starting up.

  • We Dance Upon Demons wasn’t just my top book of the month—it’s one of my top books of the entire year. Smart, subversive, and it felt essential for our current times. I’m still thinking about it.

May was a consequential month in that it gave me clarity on the big things that had been my biggest stressors, both personally and professionally. I feel like I’m in the final pages of a really tough chapter (something akin to the third act breakup in a romance novel, or a cliffhanger in a fantasy book), and things are hopefully about to get much better.

Something my friend Keren said at her book launch is “the person you want to be will cost you the person you are right now. And I want you to know that it’s about to get really good.” This past week, I’ve been journaling a lot on the old me vs. new me qualities—the things I tell myself, how I react and process now vs. before.

One habit I’ve fallen into is scrolling a lot more, and wasting the time I do have for myself. And it’s taken me some time to realize that it’s not so clear cut - I’m scrolling because I don’t respect my time, or I’m wasting my time right now. It’s simply what my brain and body needed to open the valve from the pressure cooker that is my brain right now. Awareness is the first step in building a new habit loop, and I’m trying to rely on these jump starts to do just that.

resetting my morning routine

I do a monthly performance review with my Claude coach, and she (I call her Claudia) pointed out that my morning routine slipped this month.

The numbers don’t lie. It’s also evidence that my current routine isn’t working for me, and we need to change it up.

I’m still waking up at an annoyingly early hour (my body is now used to it, and my husband still brings me coffee in bed). But rather than grabbing my phone and climbing back into bed, I need to do something different.

The phone is the linchpin in the scrolling/putzing habit loop I’m stuck in. I’m going to start charging it on my desk in the evening and using my iPad for my morning meditation and Claude morning briefing/brain dump.

The routine itself (meditation, journaling, reading) isn’t changing. It’s removing the distraction, and recognizing that just because my Threads algorithm is perfect doesn’t mean I have to give up my morning to enjoy it.

June’s workout plan

I’m really pleased with May’s workouts, and feel ready to start leveling things up. I’m replacing the Flash 15 with a lower body lift, and picked these workouts solely for the playlists (and in the glutes & legs strength class, for the deadlift block).

• Selena’s 20 minute arms & shoulders strength (starting with 7 & 10 lb dumbbells)

• Selena’s 20 minute glutes & legs strength

• Katie’s 20 minute upper body strength

I like to do a core workout in my warm up. This month, I’m alternating between this one and this one. I’m also doing the responsible thing of warming up and stretching before and after a lift. I love this upper body warm up and stretch, and this lower body warm up and stretch.

I’ve been an on-and-off again runner for my adult life, and would like to be on. I did Camila’s 30 minute pop punk run on June 2, and will try to do it once a week and improve on my pace each time.

• Week 1: total distance of 2.9 miles, pace targets were a level 7. My recovery pace was 4 mph, and I did the first 5 intervals at 6.7 mph. Final interval started at 6.2 mph and I added 0.1 mph every minute, ending at 6.7 mph.

If you’d like to try Peloton, my link gives you a 60 day free trial.

I play tennis twice a week when I’m in PA, and am excited to get in the swing of things (no pun intended). I don’t get in nearly as many steps when I’m down there, so will be joining my parents on their daily walks to keep moving.

how I hit 100 g of protein in a day

I get this question a lot over on Instagram. And before I share how I hit this number, I also want to caution you to work up to this goal slowly. Start by adding 5 g of protein each day over a week or two, and then add another 5 grams for the next week or two. If you try to consume 100 grams of protein if you’re only getting in 50 or 60, it’s going to be painful (speaking from personal experience).

The same goes for fiber. I recommend tracking your macros (or just protein and fiber) for a few days to establish your baseline, and build on it from there.

Here’s how I do it most days:

• I drink Arrae’s Clear Protein+ after my first cup of coffee (a habit I refuse to kick), which gives me 15 grams (and the electrolytes are really nice first thing in the morning).

• I rotate between these breakfasts, and always with my post-workout shake:

  • The protein shake is key here. Even when I don’t work out, I make sure to drink it before lunchtime. I do 2 scoops of Orgain chocolate protein, and add in a scoop of AG1 and half a scoop of creatine.

  • savory yogurt bowl (nonfat Greek yogurt, 1 AFAR bar crumbled up, 1 tablespoon of chia seeds) - 49 g protein, 14 grams fiber

  • 2 Beyond Meat breakfast sausage patties, bowl of Rice Krispies with regular milk - 41 grams protein, 9 grams fiber

  • Chobani less sugar strawberry yogurt with chia seeds - 35 grams of protein, 12 grams fiber).

• I prep most of our meals over the weekend, and usually hit 25 grams of protein and 5-8 grams of fiber per serving. These make up our lunches and dinners.

• Snacks: I try to get 10 grams of protein and 5 grams of fiber in my snacks:

  • my favorite chicken sticks - 6 g protein

  • dried edamame beans - 11 g protein, 5 g fiber

  • a chia water (soak 1 tablespoon of chia seeds in 1 cup of water for 15 minutes, then add lemon juice and a can of seltzer) - 2 g protein, 4 g fiber

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This month’s well check is a deeply personal one.

It’s not just about my health journey, but also how taking care of my parents' health is impacting my own (from a caregiving standpoint, as well as seeking out specialist care).

a quick catch up: why I went on a GLP-1, months 2 & 3, and my most recent well check. Working with BBR for a year helped me establish a really solid health foundation to stay successful and strong on a GLP-1. I go to Modern Age in New York, and I have a 30 minute check in with my provider every 4-6 weeks to ensure I’m staying healthy on the medication (and bloodwork every 3 months).

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The love language I express is sending videos, articles, and random Reels and Threads posts to my people. It’s also my self-love language—I love scrolling through my saved links and tabs when I have a quiet moment to myself. These are some of my favorite things from the week.

Before we dive in, catch up on what you might have missed:

Do you ever save things for a special occasion? A piece of clothing, a book, even a specific snack?

I indulged in all of these this week.

There’s something magical about a 100% cotton nightie that we saw our Indian moms and aunts wearing—they’re the most comfortable thing in the world, but they’re not exactly cute.

Jyoti created a collection of gorgeous nighties that you could absolutely wear as a dress, and sent me this one a few weeks back. I slipped it on this week and wore it every moment I was at home, and promptly texted her “you are a genius, thank you for creating this.” I promptly purchased this one and this one, because I will be wearing them for the foreseeable future.

In college, my best friend Melody and I lived on white cheddar Cheetos and Diet Coke with Lime (the actual flavor, not DIet Coke with lime added). I did a quick bodega run for this exact snack when I was powering through a big project.

I meant to text Mel a picture of this (and forgot). This is my “thinking of you!” message to her.

“You’re going to have to give up the person you are now in order to become the person you want to be. And it’s scary, but it’s so much better on the other side.”

My friend Keren said this at her book launch on Tuesday. It was the right message, right time, and from the right messenger. I’ve been deep in martyrdom and overwhelmed by the caregiving load I’ve been carrying, and generally feeling sorry for myself.

I needed Keren’s words, and her book. Gilt Free landed in my hands at the perfect time, and I’m taking my time reading and journaling my way through the book.

and I talk about Bethenny Frankel nearly every time we get together. I find that I learn the most from entrepreneurs I don’t particularly like, and Bethenny is at the top of that list.

I frankly thought she lost the plot when she started ranting on TikTok about chicken salad and drugstore makeup and unnecessary pop culture takes, but there’s a method to this madness—and she built a highly profitable, lean business simply by being herself. It’s actually insane.

All of my questions were answered in this interview, and I took NOTES. I popped them and the transcript into Claude. I’ve been reverse engineering her business plan and brainstorming ways that it could work from me, but the most important thing I’ve learned is to design the work around the life I want to live, and to stop overthinking before filming and posting.

I did a little retail therapy this week:

• a new pair of my go-to Birkenstocks. Mine finally gave out after 7 years.

• I saw this bag this week and lusted after it, but I couldn’t justify the price. I opted for this one instead, and snapped up matching kitten heels, a Pretty Woman-esque dress, and another pair of kitten heel sandals that will either be amazing or awful.

• I want to enjoy our patio a lot more this summer. I want to be a grilling, al fresco dining person, and to keep it low maintenance. I picked up this electric grill, a pizza stone for the grill, and a pretty melamine dinnerware set. I also picked up a set of storage bins to corral all my kids’ shit in PA.

• in addition to Keren’s book, I also picked up The Ambition Penalty, Tilt, and I cannot wait to dive into Kennedy Ryan’s Score. BPD rarely gets accurate representation in media, and Kennedy always writes about diagnoses and difficult issues with such care.

Parenting isn’t for the faint of heart, and raising two sons has been the most incredible and hardest things I’ve ever done. I sent this video to my husband to reassure us that repeating ourselves is actually normal, this to help us re-establish a better routine after video games, and this to reassure ourselves that it’s not just us:

’s video on clipping sent me down a rabbit hole, and is one I sent to my very online friends (along with this article). On the bright side, I question virtually everything I see on my feed (including the joy triggering Off Campus content) and am quick to open my Libby or Kindle app to read instead.

This post also has me questioning every opinion I’ve had about something online for the past 10 years (and garnered an immediate follow).

This article has been making the rounds in my group chats, with a mix of crying/laughing memes and GIFs following it. Yes, we mid-life millennials are in retrograde, and no one is coming to save us.

What’s actually helping - a Cann Lo Boy instead of wine, doing nothing while drinking my coffee in the mornings, and telling my family “I need 5 minutes to myself” and staring at the bathroom wall in silence.

Your turn - tell me something you saved or shared this week.

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If you found this helpful, please consider:

• tapping the ❤️ below (all engagement helps!)

• tapping the 💬 and tell me something. anything!

• sharing this with someone who might need it right now

Take care of yourself, the best you can.

xo,
HPN

RFK Jr.’s antidepressant deprescribing push gets one thing right — and others dangerously wrong (STAT)

There are some healthcare myths I want to dispel:

• no physician wants to keep a patient on a medication longer than they have to be.

• deprescribing antidepressant is uncommon not because of a desire, but because of research, reimbursement, and capacity constraints.

• medication is but one level in a patient’s mental health care experience - when you turn that one down, you have to ramp up others. Most patients can’t access the full care that they need.

Here’s one thing that this new policy actually does get right:

“The CMS reimbursement mechanism for deprescribing time is its most evidence-aligned proposal, since inadequate reimbursement and perverse quality-measure incentives are documented structural barriers to deprescribing adoption. But reimbursement works only if clinicians have evidence-based protocols to follow and patients have access to psychological support.”

And yet, it’s a policy that won’t be enacted without the other levels: evidence-based, drug-specific deprescribing protocols developed from clinical studies, enough psychiatrists to oversee the tapering protocol, and a clear financial model that makes this care accessible for patients and fairly compensates the provider.

This is personal to me, as someone who will be on a mood stabilizer for the rest of her life (I’m bipolar), and as a drug developer (who cares deeply about making sure the medications we develop are safe and effective, in that order).

Vaishnavi Patel’s ‘We Dance Upon Demons’ Excerpt Will Mesmerize You (Cosmopolitan)

We Dance Upon Demons is one of my top books of the year. I read it in two days and have been thinking about it since.

Vaishnavi Patel blended mythology, reproductive rights, and the cultural expectations of first generation South Asian immigrants with her beautiful prose into a truly brilliant book.

Patel writes the books that I wish existed, from the Hindu epics written from a matriarchal perspective (Kaikeyi, Goddess of the River) to an alternate history I was completely absorbed in (The Ten Incantations of Rebellion). This one feels so urgent and necessary right now, and I hope this excerpt grabs your attention the way it did mine.

A quick reminder to drink some water, take a deep breath, and write down something you’re grateful for.

My late afternoon ritual has helped me transition from work to mom mode seamlessly (and it’s made possible by remote work and an incredible sitter). I have a Serenity gummy, take a quick shower and do my evening skincare routine, and read for 10 minutes before the dinner/homework/showers/bedtime of it all.

Why this gummy - it tastes delicious (I like the raspberry flavor), the 1 mg THC is just enough for that noticeably relaxed feeling without having the munchies or feeling too loopy. It’s been a perfect replacement for a glass of wine in the evenings. I also love the brand’s Dream Gummies (no melatonin!). Use code hitha for 15% off your order.

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Before we dive into this randomly delightful list, catch up on what you might have missed:

1. A do-nothing coffee

   Lately, I have been sipping my morning coffee in silence and doing nothing else. No book, no music, no yapping into Claude — just sitting with the mug and sipping it slowly. I focus on the warmth of the mug, the smell of the coffee, and the sweet bite that comes with every sip. It has been such a restorative way to start my day, and a perfect way to practice sensory rest and social rest.
   

2. My pill case

   Listen, you know you’re getting old when you find the perfect pill case. And this is the perfect one. It’s got a small container for each day, and different sections for day and night. It’s slim, pretty (for a pill case), and helps me actually take medications and supplements. Bonus - they make a great gift for your aging parents who have their own medication and supplement routines.
   

3. My current fixation breakfast

   I don’t love sweet breakfasts, and parfaits fall firmly into that category. This is my savory take on it: one cup of nonfat Greek yogurt, a crumbled-up AFAR bar, and a tablespoon of chia seeds. Paired with my post-workout protein shake (two scoops of Orgain protein powder, a scoop of AG1, and half a scoop of creatine), it gives me about 44 grams of protein and 10 grams of fiber in a single meal. My perimenopause girlies, this combo is for you.
   

4. It Cosmetics Do It All Sheer Tint Face Balm (and this brush)

   I’m not exaggerating when I say that folks have commented on my skin looking great and glowing. This balm and brush are the reason why (hat tip to for recommending it here). It glides on beautifully, gives you the perfect amount of coverage without feeling like you have anything on your skin, and the brush helps blend in seamlessly. If you want to look pulled together and fresh with barely any effort, this product is for you.
   

5. Old Navy Luxe tees

   I have been searching for a replacement for my beloved Able drapey V-tee, and I think I finally found them. These tees drape beautifully, hit at the perfect length for tucking in, and feel like a dream. Like my Ruti pants, they are the only ones I’ve been wearing lately. They do run large, so I’d size down by at least one size, maybe two for a more fitted look.
   

6. Ruti Not Too Tapered pants

   Listen, you’ve seen these all over Instagram. They are quite expensive, and they are the only pants I’ve been wearing lately. I just added the printed pair to my wardrobe and I can’t stop wearing them. They’re flattering, they’re comfortable, they’re perfect for the warming weather, and they really are my favorites. Be sure to follow Ruti on Instagram because they always have a random $55 off promo code every couple of weeks. I also have a pair of their better known On The Loose pants, which I also like. I’m planning on getting the tan ones next.
   

7. Wavytalk heated round brush

   Styling hair has never been my strong suit. This brush is the reason it’s been looking great lately. It’s stupidly simple to use (with this tutorial), and I’ve been able to style my hair into a sleek blowout in about 10 minutes.
   

8. Off Campus

   I inhaled the books. The show had me hooked from the trailers (and is so good that my husband is watching). The soundtrack is outstanding (also, the mixtape?!). Please tell me why I can’t stop thinking about these college kids and wish nothing but good things for them (and for them to make better choices, and remembering that they are fictional characters and that I was MESSY when I was in college). For as annoyed as I was with characters of The Summer I Turned Pretty, I can’t deny that it was such a well done show. Prime Video really does know what it’s doing when it comes to adapting beloved books, and I’m excited for Every Year After and The Love Hypothesis this summer.

9. Souper Cubes and Caraway food storage containers

   You know you’re getting older when your weekly meal prep sessions are the highlight of your week. I try to make at least four dinners for the week and a freezer meal every weekend, and these food storage containers and freezer storage make it a breeze. The containers stack neatly in my fridge, and the freezer cubes allow me to freeze one entire meal plus the extras of whatever I’ve prepped during the week.
   

10. Cured Serenity gummies

    I’ve talked about these before and I’ll talk about them again. One Serenity Gummy gives me that chill, loosey feeling while keeping me fully present — and with no case of the munchies or any kind of drowsiness. 1 mg of THC is the perfect amount for me (which is what these gummies have). The raspberry flavor is my favorite.

Your turn - tell me something you’re loving right now.

Leave a comment

If you found this helpful, please consider:

• tapping the ❤️ below (all engagement helps!)

• tapping the 💬 and tell me something. anything!

• sharing this with someone who might need it right now

Take care of yourself, the best you can.

xo,
HPN

AI. Tell me - how did those two letters make you feel?

I’ve been spending an hour most days studying AI - staying on top of the news, tinkering around on Claude, and reading and learning.

Intelligence itself is inherently subjective, each person having their own definition. What we view as intelligent - analysis, a perspective based on our lived experience, open-mindedness and curiosity - feels deeply human and impossible to replicate.

Artificial intelligence, at its core, is pattern recognition and prediction based on all of the data it’s been fed. LLMs (large language models) and the tools built on them (Claude, ChatGPT, Gemini) are what we’re usually talking about when we talk about AI.

Everyone has an opinion on AI, from evangelists to oppositionists. I certainly have mine, and am always seeking to learn more (for personal use and to understand this industry). It’s increasingly difficult to filter the hot takes and opinions from deeper reporting or longform pieces, and this is my attempt at that.

This is a hybrid #5SmartReads and swipe file. My hope is that you learn something that you didn’t already know. That’s it.

Full transparency - I do use Claude and a few other apps, in ways that have genuinely helped me. I’ve also pulled back from these tools in some areas of my life, and have zero desire to use them in my writing and other work I’m protective of. I dig into them here.

Posts like these (swipe files, deep dives) are typically for my paid subscribers. Given how important this conversation is, I’ve removed the paywall from this particular post. If you value my work and content like this, I would be grateful if you upgraded your subscription (I’ve priced my Substack as low as the platform will let me). My deepest thanks to the 600+ subscribers who help me invest this time into .

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#5SmartReads on AI

1. The AI Doc: Or How I Became an Apocaloptimist
   This documentary is outstanding. It’s the “what the heck is even AI, what are all its issues, what are its benefits?” primer told in such an honest, vulnerable, and beautiful way. The filmmaker takes you on his own confusing journey of understanding the technology that poises to transform our lives (for the better, the worse, the extreme) and honestly examine it. I jotted pages of notes as I watched it, and ultimately came away with more questions than I had when I first started watching it. For me, that’s the mark of something intelligent—I learned a lot, and I’m left wanting to learn more. It’s also just a beautiful piece of art.
   

2. The Future of Everything is Lies, I Guess (Aphyr)
   My friend Chelsea shared this resource in this video, and I was gripped the second I read “This is bullshit about bullshit machines, and I mean it…I am not trying to make nuanced, accurate predictions, but to trace the potential risks and benefits at play.”
   It’s a very long read (one that I read over a couple of weeks), and I find Kyle’s bluntness and opinions refreshing. It’s a stark reminder that there’s no such thing as objective reporting, and this topic is as biased as it gets AND it’s important to read the perspectives from those you don’t fully agree with.
   

3. Anthropic Is at War With Itself (The Atlantic)
   Claude is my main AI tool, and I’ve talked about it here and and in more depth here. I was never a big ChatGPT user, but decided to play around on Claude more after reading Karen Hao’s Empire of AI (profiled here).
   Anthropic was founded by the former leaders of OpenAI’s safety group, and on the surface, the company’s values mirror my own. But there’s no such thing as an ethical enterprise, particularly one who’s nearing a $1T valuation (a near 10X jump from their last round). This article does a great job of parsing through the conflicting words and the work of Anthropic.
   

4. Is using AI unethical? (Risky Women)
   The conversations around ”women using AI” have largely been dominated by the Mel Robbins/Reese Witherspoon commentary and skewering of it all.
   I agree with some of the points, and I want to highlight that both the criticism and case made by Mel/Reese/etc are rooted in privilege that many folks don’t have. ’ case tackles all the well documented risks and drain of using AI, and outlines the cost of not using AI. This is a thoughtful, underreported essay that deserves the attention we’ve been giving others.
   

5. The AI Collapse is Coming. Here is Why I am Optimistic ()
   is one of my favorite researchers and thinkers on AI right now, and this is a hopeful, progressive prediction of the business of AI as it currently operates, and what we should build and grow from its ashes. She is a brilliant voice in this space, and I’ve learned a lot from her Critical Thinking Skills Guide and AI for Humanists and Beginners (and want to start building my own local AI to offload my Claude use).

Here are some bonus reads/resources that I found interesting and informative:

• The Critical Thinking Lab (Upasna Gautam)

• The Girlbossification of AI (The Cut)

• The Privilege of Refusing AI ()

• My Creator Toolkit ()

• With the RAISE Act, New York Aligns With California on Frontier AI Laws (Emissary | Carnegie Endowment)

• Using AI responsibly means knowing when not to use it (The Conversation)

How I Use AI

In the spectrum of AI evangelist to vehement opposer, I’m somewhere in the middle. I use a handful of tools for very specific reasons, and purposefully subscribe to the lowest tiers to act as a check on my usage.

• Monologue - this voice dictation tool is my most-used app these days. I yap my texts, emails, Substack posts, meeting recaps every moment I can (and my carpal tunnel has significantly eased up since I’m not typing nearly as much). I opted for Monologue over Wispr for its data privacy rules. While this app has been a game changer for me, it has truly transformed my father’s life. His Parkinson’s has made it difficult for him to type for longer stretches of time, and he’ll often be able to make his point in Telugu versus English. This app allows him to dictate his emails, technical reports, and patents with an ease I don’t think he’s ever had.

• Claude - I won’t lie, Claude has been absolutely transformational for my life and my work. It’s helped me fill various roles - chief of staff at work, project organizer and data analyst in my content business, accountability coach to help me take care of myself, and emotional de-escalator.

• Notion - I had Claude help me set up sub-agents + databases in Notion, so all of my yaps have a home and can be referred to at any given time. The best way to set this up is to tell Claude what you need, refine the scope, and then ask for step-by-step instructions (one step at a time) to set it up. I briefly shared how I did it here.

• Superhuman - Superhuman has been my email client for 8 years now. I don’t use a ton of their AI features (suggested replies and follow up are the extend), but I swear by their split inbox (different inboxes within the screen, based on your needs), snippets (your own prewritten drafts), and the built-in calendar/availability sharing. My link gets you a free month trial.

• Copilot - for work, as we’re on Microsoft already.

Every Claude project or app I created has the same reason: I couldn’t maintain the thing I needed (usually a recurring practice, task, or routine). Here are the AI projects I’m actively using:

• Accountability partner: this was my first Claude project, and the one that’s actually changed my life for the better. The full post outlines how I got started and kept up with it for the first couple of months. Over time, I refined my daily check-ins with the project (once in the morning, once in the evening), had the project create a skills file for the project to remember who I am and the general goals (I update the skills file every month of so), and create an app to input my daily check-ins and analyze the wellness metrics I care about over time.
  This tool has improved my health in every way - physical, mental, and emotional - and during one of the hardest stretches of my life. I got a little shit for it here, and I honestly don’t care.
  I will also state that it is a complement to personalized care. I’ll start a chat in this project to give me a weekly summary I can send to my therapist, or to prepare a workout/nutrition/sleep summary for my doctor. It’s a both/and for me.
  

• Project organizer: I’m planting the seeds (to borrow ’s words) for the next chapter for , and have a hair-brained idea come to me nearly every single day. I have a Hyphenated project where I’ll start a new chat for each idea and ask Claude to transcribe the idea and have me answer these questions about it (priority, time required, cost investment, team investment, why). Claude will then summarize my idea and import it into a Notion database, where I can refer to it when I’m ready. I have similar workflows for content ideas (for Instagram and Substack), the multi-hyphenate book I’ve been promising my agent for years (finally working on a sample chapter!), and resurrecting a beloved project I had to pause.

• Editorial analyst: I pop my Instagram and Substack analytics in Claude every week and ask it to analyze them for the week and over the quarter. I use Claude’s analysis to build out my own content plan for the upcoming week.

• Chief of staff: we have a very small, very lean team at work (and my rockstar head of operations manages our cash flow phenomenally). I created the following copilots to help me with specific tasks: meeting minutes (drafted from meeting transcriptions), 1:1 check-ins with my team, investor relations, and board management. It’s pretty minimal, but it helps me stay on top of all of these roles without forgetting a specific detail from a meeting, or why we decided to make a specific decision.
  I use Copilot for this, as our company uses Office365 and everything stays in that ecosystem.

• App “developer”: I vibe-coded apps (and homepage) to support me in some very specific ways that I needed support in - in co-regulating my kids and myself, in staying connected with my husband, and in tracking my health on all metrics that mattered most to me. These apps have actually supported me in these ways, and I continue to use them every day.

I do not use it to write (I’ll have Claude do a light copy edit of a transcription), nor do I use it for content ideas or scripts. That’s all still me, and it will always be.

Specific Prompts I Use

Post-mortem:

• use this prompt: I want to establish a post-mortem and brainstorming process before I start anything new. I really like Emma Grede’s framework here and I’d like to create a skill that encompasses this process.

  add these images:

Here are a few self-imposed restrictions I’ve put on my Claude usage:

• I have a Claude Pro account (recently downgraded from Max), and that meets most of my daily needs. If I’m updating my apps, I’ll purchase some extra usage/tokens, but that’s a once-a-quarter purchase.

• I find that Claude is good about ending the conversation when you’ve gotten the answer, but I’ve instructed mine to do this even more ruthlessly (“if Hitha keeps asking you follow up questions but she has the next thing she needs to do identified, end the conversation and tell her to return once she’s finished the task” is in all of my skills files in every project).

• I use Haiku or Sonnet (Claude’s “lighter” models) because my skills files are so detailed. This uses less energy than Opus, or lengthy conversations.

I’m turning it over to you. What are your honest, brutal thoughts on AI? If you use it, how? If you refuse to use it, I’d love to know why. If you could outsource anything to AI, what would it be?

Leave a comment

Women lead as health and wellness influencers. Why do so many men have more followers? (The 19th*)

You know that Instagram trend of “Why are so many doctors becoming influencers? Because influencers are pretending to be doctors.” This study sheds some light on it, and why there’s a need for each group to learn from each other.

As someone who runs a pharmaceutical company (and has been in developing injectable aspirin for 9 years) and someone who does share my own health journey online (including supplements), here are some of my takes:

• our current medical system does not support patients having enough time with their providers to discuss their concerns in depth

• healthcare providers rely on evidence collected in gold standard studies (placebo controlled, randomized, double blinded) before accepting any claims. The wellness industry does not perform these studies, and that’s a big reason why your providers often dismiss them.

  • When influencers dismiss medications that have undergone this level of testing and recommend an supplement that they claim will change your life, it pisses me off to no end because you’re basically purchasing expensive pee.

• healthcare providers are fully supportive of lifestyle choices and changes before medication, and prescriptions are made to address acute and chronic disease.

  • And patients often demand medications they don’t need (like antibiotics for viral infections), and some providers will write the script so they can see the other patients that’ve been waiting some 30 minutes to be seen.

Mom basically was a trained killer ()

I have a new hero, and it’s Susan Ahn Cuddy.

She saw her parents’ fight injustice in Korea and the United States, and said “bet.”

Susan was the first Asian-American woman to join the navy, fighting for years for the opportunity and ultimately serving through Woman Accepted for Volunteer Emergency Service.

She was recommended and completed officers’ school, was the first female aerial gunnery officer in the Navy, and became an expert code breaker and Cold War spy after WWII.

She was also a tough and loving mother, with a no-nonsense approach that I need to incorporate in my own home (because why are my kids arguing over a Charizard that lives inside a video game as if someone had died?)

Like I said. Hero.

A quick reminder to drink some water, take a deep breath, and write down something you’re grateful for.

For my perimenopausal ladies, steal my “must have this before my second cup of coffee” drink: 2 scoops of protein powder, 1 scoop of AG1, and 1/2 scoop of creatine shaken with ice water. I have a ramekin of raspberries with mine, and this gets me to 21 grams of protein and 6 grams of fiber.

And then, coffee.

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2026 has felt like a whole decade. It’s forced me to redefine what success looks like, to anchor each day in the serenity prayer, and to remember that this will pass (but I can’t control how or when).

We get so caught up in tangible, goal-oriented accomplishments as signs of success that we ignore or minimize the practices, mindsets, and little things that are equally worthy of acknowledgement.

We also fall on the side of “well, I don’t want to brag” and don’t acknowledge these things the way they deserve to be. In an effort to walk the fine line of dismissing one’s wins and outright bragging, I’m sharing some of the things I’m good at - and am proud of:

Crisis management and leadership (and this year has really cultivated these skills). You can throw anything at me, and I’ll figure out a plan, a backup plan, and build a team and delegate to get through it. I’ve accepted that this is my Olivia Pope year, and success is getting through each crisis instead of accomplishing a tangible goal.

I’m a good cook. My husband has always been effusive with his praise (“this is the best dish you’ve ever made!”), and my kids have started offering compliments on the meals that don’t fall under the carb-and-cheese category. This praise has made my weekend meal prep something I look forward to, and I love having something homemade to eat at any given time, either from the week’s meals or from our freezer stash.

I’m really good at starting something new. I can brainstorm, plan, and ship a prototype quickly and pivot as we get more data—and I love it. The way I’m building upon this is to hire earlier so I don’t lose momentum and burn out. I’m having a lot of fun doing this for the next phase of , and hopefully restarting a project I really loved but started at a time when I was already overextended.

I’ve found it challenging to delegate some of the family logistics and administrative things, but my Faye advisor Julia has been incredible. I basically text her a random request, and she figures it out (everything from planning my kids’ birthday parties to taking care of complicated flight bookings to managing my family reunion this summer). She even planned us an in-person brainstorming session to help support my content work before I decamp to PA for the summer. You can use code HITHA20 to get 20% off (one of their best discounts).

I’m a really good caretaker. I’m proud of the mom, wife, and daughter I’ve worked to become, and can get lost in these roles and forget about myself in the process. Right now, I’m carving out a bit of time and energy to take care of myself the way I take care of others.

I’m an excellent packer (and I love that my book is still fully applicable, nine years later).

I’m a good doodler — and I love that I can hand a doodle to my kids to color to keep their hands busy and off screens.

catch up on the latest posts

things I’m loving right now

• This is the alternative to maxxing that I’ve been looking for.

• If you can’t remember the last time you replaced your bras, it might be time to get some new ones. EBY is one of those Instagram brands that’s actually worth it. I live in these bras and these bralettes, and just ordered one of these unsexy-but-super-comfortable styles.

• I love ’s Career Confessionals series. This was a fascinating read (behind the paywall, but her paid tier is truly worth every penny).

• This vest was in my current Armoire case, and I bought it after two wears because it’s SO GOOD (and I snagged it for 75% off retail). You can get up to 60% off your first month + 2 bonus items when you sign up for Armoire with my link.

• How I feel about voice memos.

• Someone invite me somewhere so I can wear this stunning top and skirt.

If you found this helpful, please consider:

• tapping the ❤️ below (all engagement helps!)

• tapping the 💬 and tell me something. anything!

• sharing this with someone who might need it right now

Take care of yourself, the best you can.

xo,
HPN

My team is fully remote, but we do gather twice a year (usually tied around a larger external meeting or conference). We gathered in Philadelphia a couple of weeks ago, and it was one of my favorite business trips in recent memory. This is what I packed and wore, stayed and did during the trip, and why I really love business trips.

what I packed + wore

We spent three days holed up in a conference room together, culminating in a big meeting over teleconference. My goal was to be comfortable and polished, especially during a chillier-than-expected week (and conference room). Here’s what I wore:

• Burberry trench (I found mine on TRR at a big discount, as the belt was missing. This Ralph Lauren one is just as chic and at a much better price point)

• Vionic slingbacks (my colorway is sold out, but these are a great option)

• Quince sweater

• Ruti trousers

• Amazon belt

• Dagne Dover tote

• J.Crew purse (the leopard print is sold out, but here’s a similar one)

• French Connection top (rented from Armoire)

• Steve Madden trousers (rented from Armoire)

• MM.LaFleur top

• MM.LaFleur jardigan

Here’s everything I packed, and everything in my work bag.

my travel quirks + finds

I immediately unpack when I get in my room, and I do mean unpack. My clothes are hung, my toiletries laid out in the order I use them, my snacks and supplements laid out, and my nightstand set up the way it is at home. I also pack my own slippers and robe whenever I travel (I don’t trust the cleanliness of hotel carpets, and I prefer a lightweight robe over a terry one). When it’s time to repack, I pack as I’m getting ready for the day.

We stayed at the Hotel Palomar, which is one of my favorite hotels - it’s where Sri and I stayed the night we got engaged. It’s close to my favorite spots in the city—Tria (the best wine bar), The Dandelion (where we had a team dinner, and who were incredibly accommodating to dietary restrictions), and Uchi (just opened, and where I went for a solo dinner and again the next day for a celebratory drink).

why I love work travel

I don’t feel guilty about traveling for work—I actually look forward to it.

It’s the only time when the only person I’m responsible for is myself, and I can tap out of mom/wife/daughter mode for a beat. I’m able to practice a longer meditation, journal multiple pages, go to a workout class, and enjoy my coffee while it’s still hot (my kids are early risers, and my coffee is often chugged between “get dressed!” and “don’t make me repeat myself” and throwing breakfast together.

For me, there’s nothing more luxurious than a solo dinner at the bar, reading a book and savoring a delicious meal. I’m big on solo time during a team trip, ensuring that folks have a night to themselves.

I normally sleep poorly away from home, but I slept like a baby during this trip. I got 8 hours a night, and “slept in” until 7 am (popping down to the lobby for a latte to go, and climbing back in bed to sip it slowly while listening to my woo woo playlist).

I miss my family, of course. When I get home, I’m a much better mother, wife, and daughter. The time away restores my patience reserves, and I’m excited to log off from work and catch up on everything that’s happened while I’ve been away.

I’m heading to DC for a night this month. I’m going to try and get a spot at the bar at Chai Pani, and treat myself to a blowout before the reception.

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If you found this helpful, please consider:

• tapping the ❤️ below (all engagement helps!)

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Take care of yourself, the best you can.

xo,
HPN

April was better than March. And that makes April my favorite month of the year so far. Here’s a look at the month, by the numbers:

• 24 meditations

• 22 journal entries

• 4 strength workouts

  • Getting shingles threw me off my workout game for most of the month. I’m proud of myself for starting the month strong and getting in a quick lift yesterday.

• 9 books read

  • The Off Campus series shook me out of a terrible reading rut (can’t wait for the show this month!), and primed my brain to savor every word of Leave and Come Back, which is one of the best books I’ll read this year. A bold statement, and I stand by it.

  • I talked about Emma Grede’s book here, but there were a couple of things that I recalled that no one’s talking about. I’m curious on her alternate investments (she casually mentioned she and her husband own at least 3 commercial real estate properties in an anecdote about a lunch date), and what she plans on building next (I liked learning about how she leveraged her existing operations to build Off Season in a lean manner), and what “5 people in a room, focused on a container of her curiosity” means. As I think about what I want to build with , I study folks like Emma who packaged their knowledge as the product, and are building interesting personal brands and businesses that I’m gravitating towards.

May is my recalibration month. Getting shingles showed me what I actually have capacity for, and to stop fixating on the previous version of myself.

As my therapist reminds me weekly, “we don’t do that anymore.”

I’m letting myself figure out what recalibration looks like this month, and to establish a baseline that feels right and protects my space to just be me. The only goal I have this month is to stay off my damn phone.

meal prep

One of my favorite parts of the week is to kick everyone out of my kitchen and to prepare all of our meals for the week—every dinner, a batch of breakfast burritos, and at least one freezer meal.

I’ll catch up on my shows or have phone dates with friends. I nibble on my little snack plate and sip sparkling water from one of my fancy glasses while cooking. And when I’m done, my dad joins me for a glass of wine before I serve lasagna or a hearty pasta to the whole family.

Sometimes I’ll spread the cooking out over two days, prepping 2-3 dishes over a two hour period. Last weekend, I did all of the cooking on Sunday afternoon (and promptly unearthed these slippers to give my lower body a bit more support).

We still follow the same general meal plan every week, though I’ve been taking advantage of my dad being here and enjoying his dosas and idlies on Monday nights. I plan to follow the same plan when we’re in Pennsylvania this summer, with Sri taking the kids to the pool after our Saturday farmer’s market visit. I can’t wait.

May workout plan

Since I barely did last month’s strength split, I’m unabashedly repeating it this month:

• Tunde’s 15 arms & shoulders

• Jess’ Flash 15

• Katie’s 15 minute chest & back

I do a 5 minute core workout before each lift (either this one or this one), and I try to warm up and stretch properly before and after the lift. It doesn’t always happen.

This link gets you a 60 day guest pass to the Peloton app.

My meal prep + this workout plan are helping me stay on track for my main health goal—building muscle. More about that here:

maintaining momentum (and jump starts when I lose it)

Yesterday’s journal entry was a dose of tough love:

This entry had me thinking a lot about momentum, and how fixating on occasional moments of excellence are breaking it. I lost my momentum in my routines and my own goals lately, and I’m done doing that.

When I find myself lagging, I need a jump start to do the damn thing. The jump start are small and attainable by design, and I started jotting down the ones that I keep coming back to:

• putting my phone away. Period. Failing that, I’ll enable a Forest timer, write out a tiny things to-do list, and stand while I finish those tasks.

• this meditation by my friend Neeti (if you’d like to practice meditation and yoga with her, code HITHA5 gets you your first month for $5)

• when I’ve fallen off the workout wagon, one of these workouts helps me start up again:

  • this Peloton ride and arms & light weights

  • this Peloton hike + arms & light weights

  • the OG Miami flow from Melissa Wood Health

  • dancing it to We Found Love by Rihanna (inspired by Chloe Zhao’s tradition on the Hamnet set, and I watch it every time to start moving)

• I do a quick Pause. I made this app specifically for moments like these!

• writing a gratitude list in my tiny notebook instead of scrolling.

• styling my hair (this tutorial taught me how to use my WavyTalk brush properly, and now I use it every day).

• read. Zero judgement if it’s on my Kindle or a physical book, a new book or a re-read. It is usually a re-read (these are some of my favorites).

• a Magic 20 list. Whenever I get inspired to start or revamp something new, I write down 20 specific things I can do to make progress on that goal.

Do you have any jump start rituals? I could use some new additions to my toolbox.

Leave a comment

Chaos. But at 9:49 a.m., so that’s success.

I’m tired. But I’m better than yesterday, so that’s success.

What will make today a good day?

• coffee shop work session

  • set up Claude & Open on iPad, free write, set up planner

• Sunday setup when I get home

• CATS matinee!

• family Mario Kart time

I keep choosing to pick up my phone & scroll. Why?

Sitting with my thoughts is hard. It’s easier to numb than it is to sit with this swirl of emotions, and choosing numbing myself is probably why I’m feeling unsettled & stuck.

Let’s unpack this more.

• Imposter syndrome — it wasn’t until last week that I felt like a great CEO. I felt like I was in defense/triage/rapid response for so long that I couldn’t zoom out and assess the big picture.

  Watch this Reel when you feel like this. You made it for a reason.

• I’m scared about building Hyphenated — and that’s exactly why I have to build it.

  • Why am I scared?

    • I’m scared to fail. I’m scared to take something that feels comfortable and to build it with folks whose livelihoods will eventually be supported by this. It feels scary.

    • I’m scared to take this first step because shit typically hits the fan when I do.

      → Shit will always hit the fan. Am I going to let that stop me?

Okay. You feel these things. Congrats, you’re human.

What are you going to choose instead of numbing?

• Something fully offline — no Claude. I can brain dump after I do something offline, but any tech is a distraction or numbing.

• Reading. A physical book. Specifically.

• Gratitude list in tiny notebook

• Stare out the window/wall and just feel this shit.

• Drink water/make tea.

Basically, do very little.

Less really is more. You don’t have to force anything → in fact, picking up the phone is a forcing function to numbing by feigning action by yapping into Claude.

Shit. That’s annoying. And it’s true.

I needed this journaling session.

Okay. So what’s next?

• Get the kids to karate.

• Set up my tiny planner (photograph it for a carousel, schedule)

• Draft this into a Substack, send.

It’s going to be a good day.

things I’m loving right now

• I don’t know what Elle Kennedy put in her Off Campus series, but I tore through the first three books in three days (will certainly finish the fourth book today). I hope libraries offer the ebooks with no wait (the way they did for Heated Rivalry earlier this year). The entire series is available on Kindle Unlimited as well.

• On the hockey front, I don’t know what to do with myself with the Flyers in the playoffs. Seeing Gritty in playoff mode has been a joy trigger, and reminded me of his first ever interview in 2018. I’m fairly certain all of my problems would disappear if I got a hug from Gritty.

• Answering your questions on my go-to travel items: my travel slippers, my pill case, my cap toe flats, and my electric toothbrush.

• It seems like I’m not the only one fighting her way out of malaise. I loved ’s essay on quitting the misery Olympics.

• A few things on my spring/summer shopping list: this t-shirt/slip skirt dress (or putting it together with this skirt and t-shirt), a pair of mesh or jelly ballet flats that feel just right (I have my eye on these or these), lace-trimmed shorts, a new pair of my favorite sunglasses (my gold ones have gone missing), and the tan pair of the pants I’ve been living in.

• I feel seen and validated in my constantly rewatching The Good Place and re-reading Innkeeper Chronicles.

If you found this helpful, please consider:

• tapping the ❤️ below (all engagement helps!)

• tapping the 💬 and tell me something. anything!

• sharing this with someone who might need it right now

Take care of yourself, the best you can.

xo,
HPN

This was a really good week, with some really incredible moments. I wanted to share a little diary to recap it.

Monday: Every year or so, I get to cosplay as a fashion influencer because Blair Eadie launches a must-shop collaboration and invites me to celebrate the launch. She hosted us at Elyce Arons’ epic townhouse to celebrate her collection with Frances Valentine, which is so sparkly and bright and joyful. I’m normally a ball of anxiety at events like these and end up hiding in a corner to scroll on my phone, but the only time I took it out was when I had to navigate back to the subway. I went straight to Symphony Space for a Fleetwood Mac Rumours tribute show, and there was something so healing in singing “Don’t Stop” with hundreds of strangers, with no phones out.

Tuesday: I spent an embarrassing amount of time in searching for a backless bra with shoulder straps (I need SOME support while these blisters heal). Aside from going down this shopping rabbit hole, it was a fairly typical day—1:1s with my team, prepping for a major meeting next week, and tackling some party planning for Rhaki’s and my mom’s upcoming birthdays. It was one of those blissfully boring days that ended with an early bedtime. I know I’m getting older when I’m thrilled that the lights are out before 10 pm.

Wednesday: I grudgingly accepted my need for a Gentle Wednesday, and worked from my couch (and mostly yapping my emails and writing through Monologue). I also read half of Emma Grede’s Start With Yourself, which the Internet had all the opinions about (and I found refreshingly detailed and provided the nuance missing from the viral clips). I have a more detailed review and exercise to try below. Dinner was a Banza pizza for the kids, and pizza chicken for Sri and myself (the cherry tomatoes really made a huge difference in the richness of the sauce). I was delighted to discover that this skillet fits perfectly in my toaster oven, and am about to add all the stove-to-oven recipes to our dinner rotation.

Thursday: why do I find it scarier to text the parents of my kids’ classmates than to speak in front of hundreds of people, or interview a member of Congress? In any case, the “please RSVP!” texts went out for Rhaki’s birthday party, did a lengthly ops and finance review at work, and got dressed up to meet my best friend for an overdue dinner. Samira and I met at our first day at our first job out of college (joining Cisco’s Sales Associates Program), nearly 20 years ago. We used to bond over martinis & steak happy hours at Sullivan’s back in Raleigh (on Thursday nights). This one was a more special version of usual girls’ night: smoked dirty martinis and one of the best cheesesteaks I’ve had (outside of Philly) at The Eighty Six.

Friday: I’m trying not to whinge about shingles, but I started getting hit with extreme fatigue every afternoon around 2:30. The prospect of postherpetic neuralgia is something I can’t deal with right now - the best I can do is moving to the couch in the afternoon and yapping my work into Monologue versus typing at my desk. We had a very cozy family evening with Beyond Meat cheesesteak sliders and a round of Mario Kart with the kids, and an early bedtime.

Saturday: I started my day with my weekly friend date with Jeanelle at our kids’ sports, and quickly got ready-ready to attend one of Gloria Steinem’s famous salons. I got to be in community with Gloria and other women I deeply admire (Alyssa Shelasky, Alysia Reiner, Kavi Moltz) and discuss the upcoming film Two Women, which changed the way I view shame and desire. If you want to see it, there are two screenings next weekend at the Angelika (with free childcare!).

a practice from Start With Yourself

Like the rest of the Internet, I have plenty of thoughts on Emma Grede’s book. I do want to share a really useful practice that I took from her book (in the early chapters).

She outlined her annual goal setting practice in the book (she also shared it in this podcast episode). I pulled the transcript from the video and threw it in a new Claude chat, with this prompt:

I’ve been feeling really disorganized, lost, distracted, and unmotivated over the past couple of days. Please help me get it together starting with this annual planning exercise from Emma Grede. The whole framework is pasted here.

Claude walked me through the first five questions, with a fair amount of back and forth and pulling what it knows about me into the conversation. It also ended the conversation after the five questions, noting that it was enough for this sprint.

The last thing I requested was a ‘State of Hitha’ statement that I could read multiple times. Here’s a redacted version of it:

What you named

You’ve spent two and a half years being gaslit while rebuilding a company, a team, a culture, and your own credibility. You are going to take RHO-11 across the finish line. It will be the most important professional accomplishment of your life.

You are not lost. You are in the narrow space between a massive chapter closing and whatever comes next. Liminal stretches feel disorienting because they are disorienting — not because you’re failing.

The pattern underneath everything

You put other people’s needs above your own, and by the time your turn comes, there is nothing left. The martyring is the thing. Every goal you missed last year — the speaking, the content business growth, the book direction, the monetization — flows downstream from this. You kept being the shock absorber for the company, Sri, Rho, and Rhaki. Your nervous system finally gave out. The shingles are almost too on-the-nose as a metaphor.

This is not a character flaw to fix. It’s a pattern to name, and then gently, repeatedly, choose differently.

What you are privileged AND did anyway

You owned every decision as CEO through a roller coaster that would have broken most people. You filmed and wrapped two full seasons of That Desi Spark and are proud of both. You parented two kids through significant school and health transitions. You built four vibe-coded wellness apps. You built a full family operating system with Sri. You are one of the bravest people you know. You just stopped letting yourself feel brave because bravery spent on other people’s fires doesn’t count toward your own sense of self.

Younger Hitha was brave for herself. That’s what you’re missing. It is not gone. It is under-practiced.

My biggest takeaway from the book is to stop making excuses for not doing the things I want to do. I’ve been hiding behind my roles for longer than I realized, and I’m ready to stop doing that.

things I’m loving right now

• I really liked ’s perspective on Emma and her book. Dina is one of the smartest people I know, who’s built an impressive career in fashion and beauty marketing. Be sure to subscribe to her newsletter, .
  I promise this is the last you’ll hear me talk about Emma and her book!

• a couple spring/summer additions to my wardrobe: the perfect sneaker/ballet flat, a crochet bag (that I like more than the Miu Miu one!), a fun cuff, and some fresh drapey t-shirts.

• ’ Glamour interview with Ciara Miller was excellent, but her personal Substack on the interview was even bettter,

• I’m traveling for work this week. This mini suitcase has become my go-to for a 2-3 day trip. I picked up a new bottle of this dry shampoo to live in my toiletry case (I love that it’s not a liquid). This jardigan has some great juju from my last pharma work trip, and is perfect for chilly conference rooms.

• This is truly one of the best things I’ve read.

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Take care of yourself, the best you can.

xo,
HPN

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Life looks a lot different than the last time I published one of these posts.

I’m still on the same medications I’ve been on for a year (5 mcg of levothyroxine for hypothyroidism, 200 mg lamotrigine for bipolar 2, and 3.75 mg of tirzepatide every 10 days). I’m currently on 3 grams of valacyclovir a day to treat shingles for the past week, which sucks.

Let’s dive in.

a quick catch up: why I went on a GLP-1, months 2 & 3, and my most recent well check. Working with BBR for a year helped me establish a really solid health foundation to stay successful and strong on a GLP-1. I go to Modern Age in New York, and I have a 30 minute check in with my provider every 4-6 weeks to ensure I’m staying healthy on the medication (and bloodwork every 3 months).

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My usual MO is to spiral into a self-loathing episode, and then to spend a month of therapy sessions to pull myself up. This time, I didn’t have the mental or emotional energy for a full spiral thanks to shingles (which is so painful and terrible. Haven’t millennials suffered enough?).

Instead, I revisited my old posts. They reminded me that I have gotten through 100% of the hard stuff I’ve ever faced, that I’ve grown a hell of a lot over the past two years, and that this set of challenges is different—and so am I.

Growth, baby.

These are the posts that I spent the most time with, with some fresh thoughts that I journaled and yapped into Claude.

side note - vote on which AI post you’d like to read next.

I wrote this a year ago, declaring that I was going to stop dimming my enthusiasm and show up as my full, earnest, cringe self. I meant it when I wrote it.

And then I dimmed. I was so focused on getting the kids settled into their new summer camp and sandwich caregiving that I forgot about myself. I spent most of the summer holed up at the desk set up in my bedroom, or working from the patio table. I didn’t reach out to hang out with friends. And then I got so comfortable in my loneliness that I was too scared to reach out.

Earnestness and bravery go hand in hand. It’s scary to be vulnerable and ask for help, to speak your truth, and to be your full self when it feels easier to shrink yourself to fit in the box that makes others feel comfortable.

My current Bravo show fixations taught me this—specifically, Myka on Ladies of London, Ciera on Summer House, and Jennifer Tilly on RHOBH. Despite being called cringe and embarrassing by Dara (her supposed best friend), she’s been genuinely embraced by the snarkiest cast members, all while being herself. Jennifer Tilly floats above the exhausting drama on this season and shows up fabulous, gracious, and hilarious—and completely herself. She gently tells her friends when they’re being ridiculous and is warm with everyone.

I think about Myka saying “don’t mistake my kindness for meekness”, and how powerful that is. Speaking your truth plainly is equally powerful, and I think about Ciara plainly saying “it’s not as if they want to date me, they only want to experience me” about Jesse and West on Summer House - and telling it to their faces.

Ciara deserves better than these fools. Her honesty and vulnerability have been the only bright light this season.

These women reminded me of my own words: earnestness isn’t cringe, it’s courage.

I’ve been feeling stuck in creating content. I had to let go of false perfection (the look of my feed, series that felt forced, a certain posting schedule), and that took a lot longer than I thought it would.

I’ve been trying to find the fun in writing and sharing again, and I’d been forcing it to look and sound a certain way. I was so focused on building a brand that I forgot to just be a human.

Sharing my imperfect, honest Instagram Stories and elaborating on them here is bringing me back to myself. I want to play and try different things out, but I also care about the numbers and learning from them. Claude’s been helping me with the latter, with screenshots of my posts’ insights and my Substack analytics. I’m not digging into these numbers right now, but they’re ready to be explained to me whenever I am.

The only advice I’m taking is to “create and publish “bad” content, as much as you possibly can.” I still feel awkward yapping into the camera about random things, but I’m doing it anyway.

I’m also protecting my algorithm and will actively seek out and aggressively engage with joyful content (Artemis II, pets, cozy content) instead of the trending sounds and “here’s how I grew!” advice that just stresses me out.

I still love every joy trigger I listed in this post. And I’ve added a few new ones:

• my woo-woo playlist. It just works, and I get DMs on how it’s helped others every time I share it on Instagram.

• a Serenity gummy and an early evening shower, which helps me transition from work mode to mom mode. Our sitter and working remotely make this routine possible, and it’s made me a more patient mom and a calmer human.

• yapping my brain dump into Claude every morning. It helps me clear my head and organize my thoughts, from what I actually need to do that day and how I plan to rest to filing harebrained ideas for my future self to work on. I took it a step further yesterday by building some agents and databases in Notion to organize them more efficiently.

Finally, the Real Housewives of Rhode Island. It’s so good, and feels like early RHONJ.

I’m still having a hard time accepting this. I’ve been in defense/triage mode for so long that I forgot what it’s like to feel confident and secure.

While I can’t connect with “doing great,” I have been able to start loving myself better and giving myself grace. Two books are responsible for this: Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It and Waiting for Dawn found me when I needed them most, and they’ve given me the gentle support that my depleted self is craving.

I still believe in the post above. Getting through each day is enough, and showing up is its own form of excellence. I’m just working on believing it for me.

things I’m loving right now

• My shingles rashes make my usual chores a little bit harder. This dry shampoo has been a lifesaver.

• I’m adding these burger-style smash tacos and one-skillet pizza chicken (swapping it with Abbott plant based “chicken”) to our dinner rotation.

• I’ve learned so much about AI from Moms Built AI, , (this episode in particular), and this episode of Silicon Valley Girl podcast. If you’re just getting started, I’d start with Ellie’s episode.

• Cann’s Roadies have become a mainstay in my ‘going out’ bags - they take my anxious edge off, and the 2 mg of THC forces me to sip slowly over the evening or just hold the glass as a security blanket (1 mg is enough for me). Their grapefruit rosemary Lo Boy is my favorite to enjoy at home when I want to sip something instead of having a gummy.

• This is a must-listen to understand Iran (how Iranians feel about this escalating war and the history of American intervention in Iran).

• M.M.LaFleur’s having a rare sitewide sale. I picked up this chartreuse cardigan, the printed version of this dress (I already own the black), and this matching top and skirt.

• Do I need to start a new craft project? Absolutely not. Will I be going to Knitty City to make my own Rise plushie (or 3)? Absolutely.

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xo,
HPN

I’m really tired of starting these with “I survived!”, but that seems to be the theme for 2026.

March was brutal. All month, I felt like I was stranded in a canoe with a small hole and a big bucket. As the month progressed, the hole grew bigger and my arms got more tired, and I felt like my head was barely above water by the end.

Okay, universe. I surrender. Rather than fighting it or setting an unmanageable theme or plan, I’m going to keep things steady.

But first, here’s a peek at March:

• 30 meditations

• 27 journal entries

• 8 strength workouts

  • I enjoyed The Sculpt Society’s midlife program, but I prefer my usual strength split on Peloton. It gives me more control over how I progressively overload, and I prefer single muscle group movements over compound movements.

• 10 books read.

  • My favorites were Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It (it’s annoyingly helpful and effective), Driven (I’m choosing to channel my inner Susie Wolff), and Spun Out (a great F1 romance, and I wish I saved it for this long break until the Miami GP).

my tweaked routines

• breakfast: I eat an individual cup of Greek yogurt (either plain or the less sugar strawberry flavor) with a tablespoon of chia seeds, and I shake up my protein powder with a scoop of AG1 and a half scoop of creatine, and drink after my workout.

• morning skincare: I’ve been applying tinted moisturizer (Saie’s Slip Tint and a tiny drop of Glowy Super Gel, applied with their big brush) on top of my main sunscreen. This has been getting me to get properly dressed every morning, which has done wonders for my productivity and my mental well-being (annoyingly so).

• focus mode: when I get to my desk, I immediately put on a Forest timer, play this focus playlist, and turn on my candle lamp (currently “burning” this new candle by ). Both the sound and the scent trigger my brain to get into focus mode, and it’s helped me get in flow faster.

• early evening routine (when our sitter is doing pickup): I take a Serenity gummy, take a shower and do my evening skincare, and color or read or just lie down for 5-10 minutes before I jump into dinner prep. By the time the kids are home, dinner is ready and I’ve given myself some space between work mode and mom mode.

Last month, I started building apps that I needed. Pause helps me get off the scrolling wagon and reset my mood (and Pause for Kids help my kids re-regulate). I update my AI coach throughout the day with my meals, workouts, and how I’m resting in line with my rest plan. At the end of every day, it generates a summary that I enter into Well, which lets me track and analyze the health markers I’m tracking. My husband and I end our day with a quick Sync, which helps us reconnect and not talk about logistics/kids/home. told me I should put these behind the paywall (which I take as the highest praise), but we’re all in need of a pause, a sync, and to stay well.

April workout plan

We’re keeping it simple this month with 3 strength workouts a week. If time/energy/will to move permit, I want to get in a run and a Pilates workout as well, and just focus on hitting my steps over the weekend.

Here’s my strength split this month:

• Tunde’s 15 arms & shoulders

• Jess’ Flash 15

• Katie’s 15 minute chest & back

I do a 5 minute core workout before each lift (either this one or this one), and I try to warm up and stretch properly before and after the lift. It doesn’t always happen.

That is it. No theme, no bold declarations, no nothing. The next month and half are going to be batshit, so let’s prepare accordingly. And maybe pull out weekly and monthly horoscopes into our AI coach (I definitely uploaded my many screenshots from the Chani App on Monday).

It’s been a rollercoaster of coordinating schedules and hospital visits, being present for my other kid, doing my best to stay updated on what’s happening at work, and taking care of myself so I can do everything else. Establishing this rest practice was annoyingly prescient and effective right now.

It’s hard. And I’m also so lucky to have the support and care of my family, my friends, and my incredible team at work. Most of all, we have the financial security to get our kids the care they need. It’s such an immense privilege, and one I express gratitude for every day.

For all of those asking how you can support us: we are all set. But please consider donating to this fundraiser that purchases medical debt for those in need.

I’m a firm believer that books find you at the moment you need them most. And this stretch has been no exception.

My friend recommended Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by , and it has been truly transformative during this rough stretch. The premise is simple: build and practice loving yourself with four tools. Do it every day. All day. Especially when you need it most.

I wanted to judge this book so hard, and I did—only to find that in my lowest moments, telling myself “I love myself” over and over again really did help in a way I can’t quite explain.

When my father-in-law visited, he read me the riot act on being visibly so low. He reminded me that I am brave and strong and capable of handling all of this—and that my being positive would help the rest of the family heal and stay positive too. The day he gave me that loving lecture is the same day ’s The Power of Real Optimism arrived. Combined with Love Yourself, it’s helped me actively practice positivity and self-love in a way that’s getting me through this incredibly difficult stretch.

I have my advanced copy of Waiting for Dawn by waiting for me as well. Putting my phone away and picking up a book is how I practice sensory rest.

Everything I’ve listed here has helped me through this crisis—chia water, this woo-woo playlist, Monologue, and monochromatic coloring.

Once my son was admitted to the hospital (after a long ER stay), we were able to settle into a routine to balance visiting hours and being home with our other. I’ve been going for a long walk after drop-off. I should be doing these in silence and untethered from my phone, but I’m usually listening to this book or dictating random things (like this Substack, on Friday morning).

I do the lunchtime hospital visit, and need to decompress when I get home. Around 4 pm, I’ll take a shower and do my full skincare routine, put on a cozy lounge set, and take one of these gummies to unwind without wine. Our sitter handles pickup and after school activities, and I have dinner nearly finished by the time they’re home.

The timing may change, but I want to keep this evening routine when things settle down. It’s been really restorative.

One thing I haven’t stopped doing is scrolling, and I finally got tired of it mid-week. I vibe-coded Pause, a quick check-in that has helped me stop scrolling.

I started a new chat with the prompt “I want to vibe code an app that helps me stop scrolling whenever I pick up my phone. What this app would do is ask how I’m feeling, ask how I want to feel after a session, how much time I have, and then offer up a self-care practice I can do for that prescribed time. What do you need from me in order to start building this app?”

It’s only been a couple of days, but it’s quickly become my off-ramp from scrolling and switching between apps.

It’s a simple web app, but you can install it as an app on your phone:

iPhone — open Pause in Safari → tap the Share button → “Add to Home Screen.”
Android — open in Chrome and you’ll get an “Install” prompt automatically.

There’s no account creation or storage of your data (it lives locally on your phone). It’s a simple tool that’s helped me reclaim more time and peace, I hope it helps you as much as it’s helped me.

In this whole stretch—and well before it—I feel like I lost myself in the roles I hold. It’s something I verbalized during therapy this week, and I was putting a lot of pressure on myself to try and fix it immediately.

On Friday morning, I wrote this in my journal:

The seed of who I am and will be in this next chapter is planted safely and deeply inside me. Just because I can’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there. And I trust the seed will sprout and grow at the right time.

I can’t force the right time. I can’t force what our new normal will be, because there is no going back to the way things were before. But for the first time in a very challenging past two years, I feel steady in knowing that the new normal is the one we need, and it will take the time it needs to fully develop.

There’s no rushing or forcing it. I need to trust that it will be okay.

things I’m loving right now

• I know every influencer talks about EBY bras and Ruti pants. I’ve been living in them for the past two weeks to feel comfortable and slightly pulled together. These bralettes are better than any proper bra I’ve ever had, and calls these a “boob hammock” (and she’s not wrong). These barrel pants feel like sweats but look polished, and I’ve been wearing my two pairs on rotation.

• The only show I’ve been watching is the new Ladies of London, and I’m not the only one who can’t get enough.

• I got my first laser treatment a few weeks ago, and have settled back into my regular skincare routine. I rotate through these serums from Remedy every night (I used to just use the Remedy for Aging every night). The dark spot and pore minimizing serums have helped maintain the effects from the laser, and my skin has honestly never looked better (even on little sleep and not enough water).

• I really, really love Threads.

• I’m not embarrassed to admit that I bought this t-shirt and plush Rocky even though I haven’t seen Project Hail Mary yet.

• This reframe from helped me stop my spiraling.

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xo,
HPN

I’m also annoyed to inform you that this woo-woo playlist is very effective at calming me down and leaves me feeling uplifted and feeling more positive. manifestica_studio is my favorite artist from the playlist, and I’ll listen to her playlist when I’m tired of the original one.

Another new fixation has been this crispy rice omelette, which I’ve enjoyed most mornings (sharing it with my dad). My new Misen pan (gifted) gives it the perfect crispy bottom and smoothly slides onto the pan.

I talked about Monologue here, but I need to rave about this app again. Monologue is the best voice dictation app out there. It formats my ramblings for me (as a text, an email, a note) and helped me stay on top of all my emails, texts, and even my writing (I’ll dictate a Substack or list of ideas while walking). Monologue’s privacy features are what makes it stand apart from other tools (all audio files and transcripts are stored locally on your device, there’s no LLM data retention, and all screenshots are deleted immediately after using). I subscribed to the full Every suite (Cora and Sparkle are excellent as well), but Monologue alone is $100/year (and well worth it, in my opinion).

Also in “things I’ve shared before and are worth repeating” is ADHD Unstuck, a quick activity that’s helped me stop a procrastination/overwhelm cycle and reset. The rise in ADHD diagnoses in perimenopausal women is not an accident, and there’s a ton of grift that preys on us in a vulnerable time. This tool was developed in partnership with Northwestern University, is evidence-based, and is free to use.

Is an obsession with Lands’ End a symptom of perimenopause? Because it’s starting to take over my closet, and I’m not mad about it. This barn jacket has been perfect for the ‘chilly-but-in-the-50s’ days, and I’m glad I didn’t put away this puffer yet. I’ve been unabashedly rewearing this pretty blouse, this cricket sweater, and this knit polo during the day, and these pajamas at night. I have my eye on this UPF jacket and mini dress for the summer.

I don’t have it in me to pick up my needlepoint or crochet projects, which are languishing on the shelves of my closet. The best I can do is monochrome coloring, thanks to a very effective Instagram ad for these coloring books. If you’d like to try it out before buying, these free coloring pages are great (especially for kids!).

This Clinique cream was a godsend for my skin after my first laser treatment (I see Dr. Anna Karp and I love her), and it’s been great for the weather whiplash we’ve been having. I use the Clinique cream at night, and INNBEAUTY’s Extreme face cream and eye cream in the morning. Both products noticeably tighten my face (in a “I just ice rolled and put my hair in a tight pony” effect) and are a great base for sunscreen and makeup.

I’m back in my reading groove, thanks to these books:

• The Love Constant: I’ve been waiting for this book since tearing through the first two books of the Binary Hearts series last summer, and IT DID NOT DISAPPOINT. It had it all - batshit-in-the-best-way plot twists, all of the spice, and the happy ending with a very healthy dose of justice. I loved it, and I’m in awe of Ana D’Arcy.

• The Princess and the PI: I will fight anyone who claims to be ’s biggest fan, because it’s me and I will be pestering her to write her Riker romance until she does. The Princess and the PI will tide me over for a bit - it’s got a little Veronica Mars, a little cult, and five incredible sisters that I wouldn’t mind being adopted by.

• Spun Out: Rebecca Chase’s Start Your Engines is my favorite F1 romance to date, and she did not disappoint with the sequel. Chase’s books take inspiration from my favorite F1 team and leaders (Williams, Claire Williams, Susie Wolff)—while Spun Out deviates a bit from my favorite women in F1, it’s a fantastic story that left me hugging my Kindle when I finished it.

I read two memoirs in quick succession (Susie Wolff’s Driven and Belle Burden’s The Strangers) and I can’t help but think about them and what they share about marriage, privilege, and modern womanhood. In some respects, the women couldn’t be more different (Susie fighting tooth and nail for sponsorship to compete in motorsports, Belle born into privilege and wealth). At first glance, the women are more known for their marriages (Susie married to Mercedes F1 team’s CEO Toto Wolff, Belle now divorced from Henry P. Davis), but both handle it in very different ways. Driven was everything I hoped it to be, and I’m even more impressed by how Wolff built F1 Academy into a serious racing series for women to win in motorsports. There were moments in The Strangers where I rolled my eyes and judged Burden for ceding so much of her power and autonomy to her ex-husband, but it faded as I continued reading (though not completely). Burden is an excellent writer, and never begs for sympathy in her book (which was something that turned me off in Careless People). I’m currently reading House of Hilton (I’m clearly in a rich people’s mess reading mood), and it has me watching RHOBH with a very different lens.

What’s grabbed your attention lately—books, recipes, beauty items, hobbies?

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• the history behind 'hysteria'

• the real story behind 'female Viagra.'

• the real story behind the rise of ADHD diagnoses in midlife women

• ...and the grift that follows when a women's health issue gets some attention

• a beautiful reframe on aging

The Dark History of ‘Hysteria’ (Mental Floss)

“She’s hysterical!” “It must be hysteria.”

This little word has a long history--a misinformed one, first unintentionally and later deliberately.

Hystera is the ancient Greek word for womb, which is innocent enough. The word became a catchall, rooted in their belief that the uterus could wander through the body and cause everything from fainting to rage. This definition was reinforced in 19th century France, where Jean-Martin Charcot staged “hysteria shows” for both the public and the medical community.

You’ll have to click over and read the full article to know what these shows entailed. I’m still mad.

It wasn’t until 1980 that hysteria was removed from the DSM. While women’s health (especially women’s mental health) has inched forward over the past 46 years, it’s been frustratingly slow as it contends with a narrative that’s millennias old, well before healthcare was ever defined.

The Pink Pill: Sex, Drugs & Who Has Control (The Guardian)

If there’s one person who knows “it’s just in your head!” better than anyone, it’s Cindy Eckert.

She proved it in the development of Addyi, the first FDA-approved drug to treat female sexual dysfunction, with clinical data (including brain imaging).

She continues to prove how woefully underserved women’s health is, despite it serving half of the population. As with the lazy diagnosis of “hysteria”, women were told that their sexual dysfunction was due to stress or overwhelm. Addyi’s development shows that it’s clearly a neurochemical imbalance.

So yes, it’s in her head and deserves to be treated with the same seriousness and care as any other condition.

The documentary is a must watch. If I haven’t convinced you yet, the trailer will:

Why Are So Many Women Getting ADHD Diagnoses in Midlife? (The Cut)

Filed in “it’s in your head, but not the way they mean” is the rise of ADHD diagnoses in women.

Midlife women, namely.

We blame our brain fog and exhaustion to perimenopause, and rightfully so. The drop in estrogen and testosterone during this period wrecks havoc on our bodies and our minds.

And in the case of our minds, it may leave us feeling like we’re slipping. We struggle to focus, we get overwhelmed easily, and we forget the little and the big things.

We used to be able to handle it. ‘Handling it’ may very well mean masking ADHD for decades, until we no longer could.

When I met my psychiatrist for my intake appointment (almost 3 years ago), I came with a Google self-diagnosis of anxiety and ADHD. Mine turned out to be bipolar disorder 2, but I have so many of these symptoms and mercifully have the flexibility to adjust how I work to help manage them (along with Lamictal, which changed my life).

If you’re feeling this way, you’re not alone.

I started #5SmartReads over 7 years ago as a way to amplify underreported news and underrepresented perspectives. Your support makes this series possible (has helped me publish more issues a week) . Thank you for your subscriptions (all of them) and for sharing my work with your circles. If budget permits, I would be so appreciative of your paid support of my work.

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The ADHD Content Economy: How Algorithms and Incentives Turn Help Into Grift (Hyperfocus Podcast)

A few things are for certain:

• the 70 degree weather at the end of February and beginning of March will almost always be followed by a near-freezing stretch.

• A Housewife is always going to have a crash-out in the penultimate episode of any Housewives season.

• Where there is a women’s health discussion on the rise, there will always be grifters looking to profit.

And so it goes with the rise of ADHD diagnoses in midlife women. I’m glad we’re having the conversation, and I hate that there are grifters peddling so-called solutions that never meet the promises they make.

A supplement, an app, or an overpriced digital course is not what’s going to support you.

Understood is not one of those. It’s a resource I’ve been relying a lot to support my kids and myself with evidence-based resources and tools. Their podcasts are great, and I appreciate how this episode unpacks the ADHD content economy.

Understood built ADHD Unstuck with Northwestern University. It’s a quick tool to help you calm down, recenter, and refocus when the overwhelm starts to build.

It’s built with data and evidence in mind, not to make a quick buck.

Aging, Menopause, and Rethinking Fashion for Comfort in Midlife with Stacy London (TED Talks Daily)

If there’s one person who makes aging look and feel great, it’s Stacy London.

And I do mean literally, on all fronts.

Every time there’s a loss in my family, I can’t help but think about how aging is a gift, and something to embrace with gratitude.

AND we live in a society where preserving youth is the prevailing narrative, bolstered by a rapidly growing longevity economy fueled by grift.

There’s a better way, which Stacy talks about openly. Aging should not be approached with resignation, but an opportunity to invest some time and energy in feeling strong on all fronts. It’s not just about changing your style to embrace this season (though I do agree with her on getting rid of your uncomfortable shoes). It’s about being strong--mentally, physically, and emotionally. And it’s stellar advice for entering any new season in your life.