First of all, I want to say that I HAVE MISSED YOU.

In case you missed it - over the last year I’ve sold nearly everything I owned, let go of my agents and team, moved out of London, and now I’m currently living in Los Angeles.

I have been so overwhelmed with the magic and chaos of uprooting my entire life and moving to the other side of the world (all by myself!) that I’ve had trouble knowing where to even START with my next newsletter.

I like to marinate in my own magic and stories before sharing them with others, and so much has been unfolding here since I arrived in L.A. But I’ve finally settled in and found some words to share with you.

It’s been a wild couple of months. So let’s dig in…

Have you ever felt the urge to set your entire fucking life on fire?

I’m not talking about a reactive, emotional decision to blow up your life, I’m talking about a calm, intuitive knowing - almost like a PING! that swiftly hits your gut - letting you know with unquestionable certainty that your time in a relationship, friendship, city or career is just fucking…done?

It doesn’t matter how good it looks from the outside, how much you think you ‘should’ want this thing, or how much other people want you to have it…

It just doesn’t suit you anymore. It feels wrong. And you can’t ignore it.

Last year, I felt that PING! with my life in London.

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I am filled with so much electricity and magic and I wanted to pass some of it onto you in a transmission. I couldn’t wait until Monday to post…

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The world needs more silly, loud and enthusiastic women creating art.

More silly women starting their own businesses, more passionate yappers turning into writers!

I want books from the women who sit around at brunch, sharing the theories they’ve been marinating in all week and spilling their thoughts over coffee with their friends. The ones that love life, pretty things and pop culture and dive head fucking first into every little thing that fascinates them. The girl whose notes app is a graveyard of brilliant ideas she’s never taken herself seriously enough to share with others.

In truth, yappers are already writers! We just don’t see ourselves that way. Most of the time when a woman shares something BRILLIANT with me and I naturally suggest that she should turn her thoughts into something for others to read - she laughs in my face.

We might have a critical voice in our head that tells us we ‘couldn’t possibly be a writer’ because we’re too enthusiastic, too silly, too FEMININE or because we didn’t get a degree, or we’re not academic enough, or the things we want to talk about aren’t ‘serious’ enough.

But if I can do it without a degree, so can you.

You don’t need a degree, you need audacity.

The only thing standing between you and becoming a writer is your idea of what a writer should be, or what a writer looks like. You don’t see yourself as a writer and it’s blocking you. It’s stopping you from typing words out on the page, keeping your words choked up in your throat or collecting dust in your notes app because you think you’re supposed to be this serious, cynical, academic, stoic, pretentious person to be worthy of sharing your words.

I am none of those things.

I am everything!

I cackle loudly. I wear a shit tonne of pink. I am easily delighted. I shake my ass to seventies music on instagram. I am obsessed with having voluminous, delicious pink hair. And, I am a writer. I am a best-selling published author that contemplates deep, philosophical topics and excavates my life experiences for wisdom to help other people.

I just sometimes do it in a velvet blazer, or in glamorous hotel restaurants, or at home with pink candles and incense lit all around me - because I am also the author of my own fucking life and I like to have a lot of outrageous fun. I refuse to sacrifice my wild, romantic, feminine self to be taken ‘seriously’. I refuse to make the process of writing un-necessarily dull, drab or arduous just because that’s how I’ve heard other writers have described their process. Romantics are just as serious a writer as any!

You can be all of it. You can be silly and romantic and feminine and be a fucking great writer.

The moment you allow yourself to be every single wildly contradictory thing that you are - instead of what you think you should be - you snap into delicious alignment and transcend into a world of joy you didn’t even know was possible. I mean it. You become magnetic! You become unstoppable!

People will start asking you ‘what’s your secret?’!

Write how you talk.

If you’re a yapper, a deep thinker, a self-expressive woman that gesticulates frantically and gets excited about the world, niche interests or everything in life - you don’t need permission to be an artist. You don’t need a degree. You don’t need legitimacy. The way you live your life IS the fucking degree.

To be great in art you just need to practice translating those intangible, invisible swirling ideas in your mind - and fleshing them out of you into something that others can see, hear, smell, touch, read and connect with.

And you don’t need a degree to do that. You can get plenty of practice doing this in your daily life. It’s just turning thoughts into THINGS - and you do that every time you open your mouth turning your thoughts into a conversation. The reason we can get so choked up when translating our thoughts to words on the page, is because we think we need to sound different.

More serious. More academic. Less full of life.

But I write like I talk. And I love it.

I actually think I’m a better writer because I didn’t study it. I fear that if I studied how to become a writer, I might have lost my unique voice amongst the list of do’s and dont’s that get handed out to you in class. I imagine they would have told me to remove my swear words from my writing. I might have learned to write academically and formally, instead of writing like I’m talking to my best friend - the style of my writing that has become so joyful for me to create and loved by hundreds of thousands of my readers.

In fact, out of naivety, not knowing the ‘rules’ of writing helps you to bend them and create original work that stands out from the crowd. It requires no courage to break ‘rules’ you didn’t even know existed! You’re more likely to be authentic when there’s no voice in your head to fence in your self expression or rein in who you are.

When it comes to finding your ‘voice’ as an artist I believe it’s less about creating an authentic voice, and more about removing the voice in your head that you think you need to sound like.

Write how you talk.

I love to talk. Constantly. Like a fucking MOTOR. My thoughts move at lightning speed and I have an insatiable thirst for knowledge. I am excellent at communicating my ideas, not because of a degree, but because I have practiced expressing myself my entire life - in the smoking area while clutching the hands of a woman in tears, giving advice to my friends at school, in the scribbles of my notepad during school holidays, between my lunch breaks when I worked in retail and the digital diary that I have made entries into for over 6 years.

Articulation is a life skill that you can acquire in the small, every day moments - you do not need a fucking degree to become a writer.

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You just need courage.

You can have all of the fancy degrees in the world. But without courage? You’re fucked.

The reason you will see people with half of your talent receive more exposure and opportunities than you is because they had the audacity to put themselves out there - even when they didn’t feel ready. They’re doing all the cringey shit you can’t be bothered to leave your comfort zone for - whether that’s self-promotion, reaching out to people in your industry or networking.

Great artists deem themselves ready even when there’s no proof.

But most of us do need to see examples of something being done by someone like us, to believe it’s possible for us too. Psychologists call this a ‘vicarious experience’. We are each walking permission slips for other people to chase their dreams! We need examples! Role models! Cheerleaders! I had my book agent give me the courage to write my first book even when I doubted myself. I had Carrie Bradshaw to prove you can be a glamorous, fashion obsessed author that romanticises the journey! And I am writing this essay to prove that you don’t need a degree to become a successful artist. You just need to become so obsessed with what you’re doing and pursue it with your entire heart. You need to pretend that you are a little girl in her bedroom making fucking magic again.

I want to be your living proof that you can be a silly woman that gets shit done!!!!

Decide that you are a writer.

I know there are women reading this right now whose minds are constantly overspilling with theories, opinions and ideas about the world, whether they always have something interesting to bring to discussions with their friends, or their notes app is filled to the brim with brilliant ideas they swear they will one day turn into a chapter, an instagram post, a blog, or a reel. Women that are magnetic, with an innate ability to change the way their friends, their family and even strangers think about life. And yet you struggle to believe your ideas are worthy of pouring into the vessel of an essay, a blog post, or an entire book.

But they will never be worthy, until YOU decide that they are. You decide your ideas are worthy when you bring them to life and share them.

Stop comparing yourself to this ‘idea’ that you have in your head of the kind of writer or artist you think you need to be. Be a writer that fucking loves to party. A writer that loves life. A writer that wears a lot of make-up. A writer that swears like a sailor. Write like a fucking girl. Light a candle. Wear a cute outfit. Take yourself to a fancy coffee shop. Cosplay the life of a glamorous travelling writer. Do whatever silly thing you need to do to fall in love with it. Let it become your identity.

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Stop waiting to be knighted by someone to tell you that you’re good enough to write or create something. If you do really need it - this is my permission slip for you to release those shitty drafts, to share your ideas and release yourself from the tension of storing ideas in your mind and body.

This is my permission slip for you to become a writer.

The world needs more silly women to take their own art seriously. Because those institutions you’re looking to for approval wont. You must force your existence into this world and demand that your vibrancy, enthusiasm, joy and ideas are important.

So go. Write. Make things. Share them. Cringe yourself out while you do it. Start every morning asking yourself ‘what is the most audacious thing I could possibly do today?’ and do it. Let it feel embarrassing as you try to write something. Let the voices in your head say ‘who does she think she is?’.

And rejoice in it. It means it’s working.

I would love to hear from you in the comments, did this resonate with you? Have you ever struggled to take yourself seriously in something because you thought you were too feminine? Too enthusiastic?

I shared my answer in a short paragraph online and the feedback was truly overwhelming, with some of you saying it inspired you to start writing for the first time in years. So I’ve decided to turn my tiny answer into a much longer essay here full of my best advice on writing!

If you’re new here, my name’s Floss, I have written three Sunday Times Best-Selling books and I fucking love writing! In this essay I will be sharing a short Q&A full of advice to empower you to dust off your drafts, and execute your brilliant fucking ideas.

Let’s go!

How to start writing?!

Answer:

Everything you’ve described here is exactly HOW I started my writing practice. I promise you. I literally became so enraged at men and the pain that they had caused that it was gathering in my body and I had to EXPELL it all into something creative. I needed to find an outlet somewhere to externalise my pain, to make sense of it and observe it, instead of allowing it to fester inside me. I started a digital diary on Microsoft Word, titled it “PERPETUALLY EXHAUSTED BY MEN” and wrote angrily into it every single day until it became an elaborate, dramatic memoir of my daily life - one that I still write into every day, 6 years later.

This was how I became a writer.

I just started writing.

So, my number one tip? Create a digital diary and let yourself write delicious nonsense.

Let it sound like the diary of a scorned, enraged woman if that’s how you feel! Just be honest. Write like no one will ever fucking read it. Allow yourself and your pain this outlet to move through it. When I created my first digital diary it was on my first ever solo trip. I left for the airport to Portugal with a single tote bag containing my laptop, a few bikini’s, leopard print platforms (yes, in Lisbon, I had no idea!!!) and a slip dress. I sat in a cafe, ordered a coffee with a pastel de nata and just typed and typed and typed and typed. I blurted out whatever crap came to my mind and it felt incredible.

You just have to write about anything and let it be delicious nonsense.

I started musing about the man sat on the table opposite to me and how I thought he ‘soooooo obviously fancied me’. I started writing about how much I hated existing in a body that was both desired and disrespected by the same person who assaulted me. I wrote and wrote and wrote about how much I loved and HATED being a woman. I wrote about how alive I felt sat in a cafe with the sun beaming through, forging myself and my thoughts into existence as though I was someone important.

That was the day I became a writer.

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I had journaled relentlessly for years before, but something switched inside me that day, because I began writing thousands of words every day after that. I had never set out to take myself seriously, but it was also in that cafe, on that trip, that I wrote the book proposal for my first book Women Don’t Owe You Pretty - and sent it to my book agent.

Write delicious nonsense and it will all flow out.

And romanticise it! Writing is also best done romantically! You have to romanticise everything to enjoy it! Truly. Even a deadline! I use deadlines to creatively turn me on, I have convinced myself a deadline is sexy, that the pressure is flirtatious. Will I make it? Will I not? Will I work into the early hours? HOW EXCITING!

Romanticise everything. Imagine that you are Carrie Bradshaw. Wear a cute outfit. Order a pastel de nata! Do whatever silly fucking thing you have to do to make it fun. I’m not kidding.

I don’t know if I would have had the confidence to begin writing that document - or the book proposal for my first book - had I not intentionally taken myself to a cute cafe, romanticising my first solo trip in Lisbon, cosplaying the life of a travelling writer until step by step it became my fucking reality.

You become a writer by becoming a writer.

So go, write! Start your digital diary now.

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What to do when perfectionism stops you from trying?

Answer:

The only way to start writing is to expect it to be awful.

Really.

Take every ounce of pressure off yourself. Literally just start writing anything and expect it to be awful. You have to expect it to be awful to even begin writing in the first place. Otherwise you will never begin. Your words will remain stuck in your throat, choked up and held back by the barrier of perfectionism, keeping you frozen unless it sounds instantly riveting and beautiful - which it almost never will.

Stop trying to be Shakespeare!

And on that note, I bet his first drafts were pretty bloody shoddy too! Every writer’s first draft is!

The best attitude for beginning writing is that you should always expect it to be bad. And when it’s good? What a delight! But you have to get the shit writing out first in order to discover the hidden gems of wisdom within you! You’ve just got to start!

Open up a word document now and write your thoughts. This is now your digital diary. Don’t worry about starting with a killer first sentence. Just start writing your thoughts like:

‘I feel so fucking silly, why am I trying to write? Floss told me to do this. It feels so embarrassing, like I’m trying to be someone I’m not, as though the world needs to hear about MY ideas, perhaps it’s because I’m afraid of failure and…’

Write, write, write! Go, go, go!

I am a published author. My books have broken records. I have thousands of reviews from people that tell me my writing has changed their life. But I still have to remind myself every time that I go to type on a blank page: expect it to suck. Because any time I feel the pressure of perfection when my fingers hover over the keypad, I can’t get my words out on the page. I start trying to sound ‘like a bestselling writer’. I become more serious. More academic. I lose my flossy-ness. My je ne sais quoi!

It fucking stinks.

To create your best most original, authentic stuff, you just have to start writing and do it in a way where the stakes feel really low. Stop taking your art so seriously and treating it like it’s going to be judged by everyone. Treat it like a diary entry first!

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I realised recently that some of my best writing happens spontaneously and sloppily on my instagram stories, when replying to questions from my audience - and I believe it’s because there is zero pressure. The format of an instagram story is so informal that it all just flows and gushes out of me non-judgementally and deliciously.

Also, look at your instagram message! The blooming metaphor you used is beautiful! Look at how beautifully you write when the stakes are low and there’s no need to be perfect!

You just have to do anything that takes the pressure off.

Perfectionism is the reason I have never started writing any of my books from chapter one. I physically can’t do it. I always start writing them from the middle, or chapter two. Otherwise it feels too overwhelming, like I’m stood at the bottom of a mountain with an entire 300 pages left to go, and it keeps me stuck, paralysed in fear of writing that precious, killer first line of the book….

I’ve decided it’s impossible, it can’t be done! So I start in the middle.

Because guess what? There are no rules! Everyone made them up. Ignore every single one of them. You don’t have to start writing from the beginning if that’s the thing that’s blocking you from writing. You just have to begin. Write one sentence. Get yourself going and before you know it, you will have written a thousand words, and slowly as you get into a flow, as you trust yourself more, the stinky shit starts to sift away and at the end of it you will have a few gleaming GEMS. It’s like excavating gold! You will look back on it and surprise yourself! You’ll think, holy shit, did I write that?

And yes, you did! You did that!

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Your writing doesn’t need to be good, you just need to write.

The crafting and editing process can come later. Do not try to do them at the same time. When I wrote my first book, I edited while I was writing each chapter. It made the process so much clunkier. I was afraid of sending messy chapters over to my editor and I didn’t want her to see my flaws, to see that I was shit scared to publish my first book.

Then someone gave me this advice, and it changed my life:

“You can always edit something that’s shitty. But you can’t edit a blank page”.

With my last two books, I finally let go of perfection and the words just started GUSHING out. I started to write like I was writing in my diary, talking to a best friend, letting myself go wild on the page. And so I wrote, and wrote, and wrote!

The result? The first draft of Women Living Deliciously was longer than the fucking Bible. It was 200,000 words, and it published at 100,000. That’s half a bible’s worth of material, sacrificed! Gone! Deleted! The first draft of the sex scene in my novel Girl Crush? 10,000 words. That’s a dissertation! That’s a fucking thesis!

You never see the full picture of what a writer is producing and what shitty parts were cut away. The precious ‘darlings’ they’ve had to kill to make the work as good as it can be.

So just write. Write anything.

You can always edit something shitty.

But you can’t edit a blank page.

I received hundreds of questions from you but my answers to these were so long I decided to save them for another Q&A! In the next essay I will be answering more of your writing questions and talking about why I think SILLY WOMEN and yappers need to write books.

I loved this Q&A style because it feels more chatty and I have missed this advice format so much! If you have any other questions that you would like me to answer in a future newsletter, please leave them below! I would looove to hear from you!

Online hate isn’t personal, it’s a symptom of being seen and visible.

Prior to my success as a globally best-selling author, I had actually experienced public criticism, shaming, stalking and mean comments since I was ten years old.

Yes, ten.

I’ve been getting my reps in and preparing for visibility from a very young age.

I created a YouTube account as a kid, uploading videos of myself from my laptop after school - dancing, talking to the camera, creating funny little sketches with my friends, demonstrating how to create the ‘perfect Lady Gaga hair bow’ on my Bratz doll while talking to the camera. I wish I still had access to these videos, but unfortunately I deleted them all as a teenager out of embarrassment.

As to be expected of an enthusiastic young girl that expressed herself without shame - I received a lot of ‘hate’. Most of it came from my friends on fake accounts. Someone even created a Facebook page named Florence Given is a slag and wrote fake statuses under my name about how I wanted to ‘suck off everyone in Plymouth’ (I’m in fits of laughter as I type this!!).

What I didn’t realise then is that the criticism wasn’t about me, as much as it was about what I represented; freedom, self-expression and a refusal to shrink. Most young girls have their enthusiasm and their spark shamed out of them, and through some force of magic I’d managed to hold onto mine. I’ve learned over the years that this alone is enough to make you a target, and it certainly doesn’t stop at school.

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I SIGHED with pleasure at the sight of a woman so utterly disillusioned by the patriarchal myth that women become useless, invisible or irrelevant as we age. And not just ANY woman, Pamela Anderson. Someone who has tasted the rewards and limitations of embodying the male fantasy and has decided that, actually, being over fifty feels better. Even as a young girl, she said she always knew that she wouldn’t truly “see herself” until she was much older.

I couldn’t believe I was hearing someone else say this out loud! In a world obsessed with youth, I have always felt odd for romanticising the opposite; I cannot fucking WAIT to age! Despite patriarchy’s best efforts, I have always been excited to grow older. At twenty six years old I already know myself pretty well…but the thought of the wisdom, courage and authenticity I’ll embody at fifty? Honestly, the thought turns me on.

I can’t wait to become more ME. To become an eccentric old lady that swears frequently, with a fantastic wardrobe. To get hotter, wiser, braver. I can’t wait for the depth of my life’s cumulative years of experience, heartbreak, joy, and laughter to show in the way I talk, how I create art, how I dress and in the lines that will show on my skin. I imagine myself surrounded with other loud, vibrant cackling women, our excessive amounts of jewellery and bangles clashing as we gesticulate over coffee, each our own shade of wild. I can’t wait to refine my style and storytelling over the years, to become a more original iteration of myself in every way possible…

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I would do anything to experience them for the first time again. These are the books that I have SHOVED into the hands of everyone I love - the books that have changed how I think, create, dream and live.

“What books do you recommend?” is one of the questions I’m asked most frequently as an author, so I thought I’d start off STRONG with a short, essential reading list of the books that have had the most impact on my life.

I must warn you, I have a thing for blunt, un-censored, no-bullshit writers. GOD I love them! While most people dance around the point they’re trying to make or regurgitate trending opinions they’ve read online because they’re safe, tested and proven-not-to-get-you-cancelled, I fucking love it when a writer really goes there with something original and says the TRUTH. The uncomfortable, complicated and nuanced human truths that we all think, but rarely dare to say out loud. It’s the kind of writer that I strive to be: audacious and sharp, while still being a fucking delight to read.

Reading books is one of the most important habits to cultivate because it makes life fucking magical. A book allows us to ‘try on’ another person’s life, experiencing the world through their lens and wearing it like a pair of glasses. When I’m reading something good, the authors perspective tinges the colour of everything I see in my real life, far beyond the pages of the book. It feels like I have them as a companion narrating everything around me, pointing out the beauty of things I’d never noticed before.

A good book will colour your lens temporarily, but a GREAT book will stain the glass for years long after, becoming part of the way you see the world permanently. These are those books for me - the books I forever return to, like wise old friends who tell me the truth whenever I need it the most.

If you’d like to purchase the books I’ve left an affiliate link below each title for the physical copies - but if you prefer audiobooks - almost ALL of them are available for free on Spotify in the UK.

Okay, let’s get into it!

10 books that have changed my life

The Power of Now By Eckhart Tolle

This book is so powerful I nearly teared up writing this review, because I realised a book may never EVER make me feel this way again.

People say this book finds YOU when you need it and my god was that true for me. You need to be in a very specific place emotionally and spiritually to truly experience this book - and not just understand it. If it doesn’t land straight away, don’t dismiss it! I suggest keeping a copy on your shelf and waiting until life calls you to read it. That might sound crazy, but it worked for me and every person I’ve recommended it to.

I first read it while wandering through the winding streets of Tokyo, so engrossed that I was dodging cars and motorbikes with my peripheral vision. I could not put it down. It became the perfect companion to hold my hand through the slow burn of my second spiritual awakening (yes, second - I’ll explain another time).

This book will make you more present, live more intentionally and experience awe on a level you cannot even comprehend.

Get it HERE!

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius

This book is brutal, humbling and gorgeous. It’s not a polite book and it will not hold your hand. Probably since the author wasn’t thinking about the ‘reader’ at all; these are notes from the diary of Marcus Aurelius - the leader of the Roman Empire - who was writing private notes to HIMSELF about how to be a better person. He had no clue anyone would ever read it.

Despite being written 2,000 years ago, his reflections are freakishly relatable. This book never fails to give me the exact wisdom I need in any moment of my life. When I’m obsessing over what people think, slipping out of my healthy habits or needing a kick of self discipline, I just pick this up, take it for a walk and it straightens me out every fucking time.

It’s a life bible for anyone who refuses to waste their time and wants to SQUEEZE every drop out of life for all it’s worth!

Get it HERE!

The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf

I read this book during the pandemic and it gave me such an aggressive awakening that I broke out in spots and journaled obsessively about it for days. I didn’t think I could become MORE furious at the stealthy, manipulative control tactics of patriarchy until I read this book.

It’s my feminist bible and have referenced it heavily in my latest book, Women Living Deliciously. Every woman should own this, especially those struggling to feel at home in their bodies or who punish themselves for how they look.

Get it here!

Awe by Dacher Keltner

If you’re feeling depressed, miserable, disconnected and as though life has lost its magic, just read this BLOODY book.

While finishing my own book last year in Tokyo, I was researching the science behind the transcendental feelings of wonder and awe I was experiencing on a frequent basis. I wanted to know WHY I felt like crying tears of euphoria when I listened to Pink Floyd. How, when the sun hits my skin and I hear the sound of birds, or during the first sip of strong coffee in the morning, I feel so HIGH I want to run around telling everyone I love them. I wanted to know the science behind those intangible luxuries that money can’t buy. Is something happening in my brain? Is it something sacred? Is it GOD?

I discovered Keltner’s research on awe through a podcast episode and it showed me I’m not alone in my curiosity. I was worried that learning the ‘science’ behind my spiritual experiences might dull the magic a little - but this book only deepened it. I cried in a cafe when I discovered his work because it really was the missing piece for completing my book. I suggest listening to the audiobook, you can actually hear his love and respect for life in his voice.

Fuck, I think I’ve just convinced myself to listen to it again.

Get it HERE!

The Way of Integrity By Martha Beck

If you’re feeling stuck or as though you have lost your ‘spark’, this book will help you find your way back.

I read this book right before I completely burned out - exhausted, screaming into my pillows every morning, ready to explode and tell everyone in my life to FUCK OFF. Martha Beck explains how living out of alignment with your true desires can make you sick, anxious and depressed. She shows you the way back to your most authentic and delicious life in the most human, hilarious and beautiful way possible.

Get it HERE!

I was also lucky enough to interview Martha Beck on my old podcast! You can listen to our conversation here.

Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert

Essential reading for creative people (hello, all human beings!) about the magic of creativity, how to work with your inner muse and live a deeply delicious creative life. She makes the connection between spirituality and creativity undeniable. It’s one of the most profound, moving books I’ve ever read. I quote some of the stories that Elizabeth shares in this book in my conversations with writers on a regular basis, because they’re THAT mind blowing. SHE is mind blowing. This book is magic.

Get it here!

A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle

Jesus fucking christ. How do I even begin to review this book?

Just read it. Trust me. And if you don’t trust me, trust Oprah - she’s just brought it back to her bookclub for the SECOND time.

Eckhart has a way of forcing you to confront the ego and its destructive effect on our lives and the planet - while somehow managing to leave you feeling hopeful and optimistic about it all. I started reading this book on a trip to a cabin in the woods and finished it on a writing trip to Istanbul. I found myself crying tears of joy in the middle of the street and staying up at night in fascination of everything that it was allowing me to understand about my tiny place within the universe.

If I could choose one book to have selective amnesia for - just so I could experience it for the first time again - it would be this book.

Get it HERE!

The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer

This book is so good, you’ll feel nuts that you ever lived without it.

You’ll also find yourself using the word ‘untethered’ a lot. Isn’t it so delicious?

I was once reading this book in a cafe and a man literally shouted “THAT BOOK IS BRILLIANT, IT SAVED MY FUCKING LIFE”.

If you’re tired of having your own thoughts ruin your day and feel constantly dissatisfied, OR you’re curious about spirituality but don’t want something fluffy, read this. Singer is another writer who will NOT hold your hand. Just read it, you wont regret it. It’s absolutely essential for every human being.

I also love watching Singers interviews on Youtube. That man is magic.

Get it HERE!

The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel

This is one of the best books I’ve ever read. I didn’t expect to put a book about money on this list, but this one had to be here. I’ve read tons of business books but this was the first book I’ve ever bought on money specifically - and it left me feeling INSANELY financially empowered! Essential reading for every human being that wants to change their relationship to money and feel in control of their future. It’s sold over 6 million copies for a reason!

Get it HERE!

Awareness by Anthony De Mello

Anthony De Mello wants you to WAKE UP!!!!! And yes, he shouts this at you multiple times throughout the book. I love it.

This is for people who are ready to stop getting in their own way and live a more peaceful life. And who the fuck doesn’t want that?! His teachings are very similar to Eckhart Tolle’s but with more energy and more YELLING!

I bought this book because Tim Ferris once said he keeps an entire bookcase FULL of this book in his home, just to hand it to every guest who visits. If that’s not the best endorsement for a book you’ve ever heard in your life…

Get it HERE!

‘The Art of Frugal Hedonism’ by Annie Raser Rowland and Adam Grubb

This book planted a seed in me a few years ago that caused me to sell 90% of my possessions last summer.

It was my gateway drug into minimalism - a word I used to fear until I realised it just means living with intention. Making sure you’re not collecting a load of crap that serves no purpose in your life is actually a pretty fucking cool way to live. I have made a lot of radical changes in my life over the last year (I will write about them here soon!) that involve spending less, taking on fewer responsibilities and intentionally living a much ‘smaller’ life to get MORE joy.

If you’re overwhelmed from over-consumption, exhausted from following trends, drowning in stuff you don’t need or dreading the idea of living just to pay the bills - read this book. It’s for anyone craving a simpler, more intentional life.

Get it HERE!

It was truly PAINFUL to narrow this list down because I’ve had to leave out so many others I love. I’ll definitely write more lists in the future, but for now, this is the strongest, short selection I could make!

If I had more time I would create a book club for us all to read, chat and discuss them, but for now we can use the comments section below and the group-chat!

What books have changed your life? Have you read any of these above?

The cost of living an authentic life is that some people are going to think you’re crazy. And you have to let them.

Someone I love and highly respect recently told me that I’m ‘nuts’ for a decision I’m about to make in my career. They genuinely believe it’s ludicrous and listed all of the reasons they personally think it’s a bad decision. A few years ago, their words would have completely rattled my nervous system and sent me into a spiral of self doubt. But as I stood there listening to them talk, I noticed something extraordinary; my heart didn’t race at all. I didn’t fawn under the pressure, doubt my ability to make decisions or feel the need to justify my choices - I remained confident and unwavering. My decision withstood the blows of fear and I decided to stick to my choice anyway.

I am becoming more and more comfortable with living a life that makes sense to absolutely no one except for myself, and it feels fucking FANTASTIC.

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This essay is about how I fiercely protect my solitude while remaining connected to the magical pulse of life - a guide of the tiny practices I use to spark connection and weave it into my days - as someone who loves people but also ADORES being alone.

The Joy of Solitude

Solitude is my fucking medicine.

As a teenager, my mum would worry that there was something wrong with me because of how much time I spent in my bedroom. But I always lovingly assured her with VIBRANT enthusiasm, that it’s where I was my happiest; alone, drawing and writing in my little pink room, dreaming up beautiful worlds in my head that I wanted to bring to life.

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Do you want to know why sharing your art can feel so “cringey” and embarrassing for the first time?

It’s because no one fucking asked for it.

No one’s asking you to write that post! No one’s asking you to start that blog, record that song, share that piece of content, start that business or that podcast.

Creating something and sharing it can feel so “cringey” because it’s your way of taking up space in the world. With each creation, article or post, you’re earnestly saying: no one asked for this but I have a feeling the world NEEDS this, so I have spent time creating it and am putting it out there anyway.

It is so fucking sincere! Sharing your work online is the digital equivalent of a street performer setting themselves up with a microphone, in a busy space where no one asked them to perform, and giving it a good old fucking GO! Some might applaud, others might throw you some change and some might laugh or humiliate you.

No one asked for your fucking art! But guess what. No one will EVER ask for your art, until you create the art that no one asked for.

Create first and the permission will follow.

Refuse to let your ideas collect any more dust in your drafts. If you’re waiting for permission to share your art, it’s never coming. I mean it. You have to give it to yourself. Right now. You must decide today that your ideas are simply too brilliant to hoard from the world.

You have to create like the permission is never coming. Because no one is ever going to ask for your art. Why would they? They don’t even know they need it yet! People don’t know what they need until they see it. You have to make the art that no one asked for first and that’s how you give people something to buy into. You must take your ideas, execute them and SHOW people why they need it.

Create first and the permission will follow.

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The best artists, the ones you know, the ones whose names get floated around in conversations, none of them were asked to begin creating the work that they do. They audaciously created something that no one asked for and once people had seen what they’re capable of, the permission followed. You have to view permission as something to be earned through tangible proof. You must give people a taste of your fruit to make them want it!

In the words of Julia Cameron “All too often, it is audacity and not talent that moves an artist to centre stage”.

Audacious artists create art like that permission slip is never coming. They know that success doesn’t come from waiting. Great artists know that to generate opportunities, you must create the things that no one fucking asked for. You must give that permission slip to yourself.

My audacious story

I have hundreds of thousand of followers today, but there was a day almost ten years ago that I had an audience of zero. My platform wasn’t handed to me, I had to do that cringey, embarrassing and audacious work of creating for an audience of none.

I was just a teenager in her bedroom that created the log-in details for her creative Instagram account, blocked her friends and family and decided to start sharing her ideas in short captions after school. I loved it. It didn’t even feel brave to begin with because no one was watching. This building phase was one of the most exciting stages of gaining momentum in my career. I had nothing to lose, no reputation, no expectations to meet! It was thrilling.

I loaded hashtags on the bottom of every post. I followed the accounts I loved. I even emailed magazines attaching files of my illustrations audaciously telling them (not asking them) that they needed to feature my work. Most of them ignored me but a few accepted and the exposure landed me bigger opportunities.

At 18 years old I was rejected from showing my artwork at an exhibition because they didn’t have enough space, so I suggested that they make room for me by stringing my illustrations up between two of the walls. They agreed, I hopped on the coach from Plymouth to London and attended my first-ever group exhibition showcasing my artwork.

I emailed my work to publications every week. I voiced my opinions and created artwork with slogans based on my feelings about life at the time, trusting that if I was feeling them someone else would be too. I was just a girl in her room that trusted she had something important to say, without asking anyone if they even wanted to hear it. I never once asked for permission. I created opportunities for myself that didn’t exist by having the audacity to ask.

I LOVED what I was creating so much and I trusted that it would resonate with others because it resonated with me. I loved the thrill of generating my own momentum. I didn’t wait for someone to tell me what to create, I did it all without permission. I created the art that no one fucking asked for, until they started asking for it.

“Build it and the people will come”

Not a single artist or writer that you admire started out with audiences drooling over their latest piece of work, or begging them to release new projects! How do you think an audience gets built?! The artists you love created and published their work, WHEN NO ONE WAS ASKING FOR IT, until the people eventually came. It’s only when you make yourself seen that a crowd of people can gather around you. We can’t just expect people to start applauding or paying us for our inner hidden artistic genius. There has to be something there for people to look at, to begin applauding in the first place.

Visibility and vulnerability is an unavoidable part of being an artist. While it might feel ‘cringey’ at first to put your ideas out there, never forget that having a fierce commitment to your work, actually makes you ridiculously cool. You may be laughed at by some people - or by the cruel council of voices in your head - but the second you dare to share your art, you stop rubbing shoulders with those cynical critics and you become part of a new community, full of other people that have the courage to express themselves - those audacious artists!

As much as people may mock those of us who courageously share our work, their reactions tend to come from a deep frustration they feel with themselves. When they look at you, they see every dream they gave up on because they themselves had their enthusiasm shamed out of them by miserable bullies, were too embarrassed to try or waited for permission to pursue their dreams. When they look at you giving it a go, they see every idea they ever gave up on.

Use the misery and hatred of those voices to remind you of what happens when you don’t act on your ideas. Refuse to become like them. Refuse to live in resentment of other people’s success and enthusiasm, and have the courage to act on your fucking dreams!

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Refuse to be someone that feels entitled to opportunities just because you have great ideas. Instead focus on what you can control - creating as much tangible proof as possible that you deserve them. YOU know that you have great ideas, so give your vibrant inner world some physicality and make your brilliance undeniable! Show us! Let us see it! The sooner you realise that the world owes you and your art nothing - no opportunities, no work, no recognition - you start to get the fuck out of your own way and you go about creating the life of your dreams through sheer, brazen AUDACITY.

On the note of things the world does’t owe you…

You are not entitled to an audience.

Every day, I remind myself that no matter how big of an audience I have created, no matter how many books published, or messages that I receive from people telling me that my work has changed their life, I am not entitled to an audience and I am also not entitled to a certain response to my work. I am only entitled to create the things that I want to exist in the world. Ironically, this is the way to create the best fucking work for others.

After all of those years I spent creating things no one asked for, people do ask for my art now. To the point where I don’t have enough hours in the day to do even a tenth of the things I wish I could give to my audience. Whether I’m asked to publish a certain type of book or create all sorts of things from clothing lines, to colouring books, to writing a queer screenplay. Most of them are fantastic ideas. But even if I could do everything my audience asked of me (which I can’t, you can read my last essay on this!) I’m not sure that creating the things I am ‘requested’ to create would be in service to either myself, my art, or even the audience that it can often be tempting to please.

In the words of Rick Rubin "The audience comes last. I'm not making it for them, I'm making it for me. It turns out that when you truly make something for yourself, you're doing the best thing you possibly can for the audience."

The best art that I have ever created was the shit that no one asked for. The art that I was obsessed with, the art I created in the quiet, the art that lit my fucking soul on fire and that I couldn’t wait to share with the world. The art that I had a ‘hunch’ to create. As though I was picking up on a universal nudge, a shift in culture that I felt called to act on, despite the fact that there was no tangible evidence around me to support this feeling.

The job of the artist is to create that tangible evidence. To make the feeling a real, physical thing, to work on it and hold it up to the world and say “I’m feeling this, is anyone else feeling this too?”. In the process of creation not only do you stop waiting for permission, your art becomes the permission slip for other people.

Great artists have the audacity to execute something before the world asks for it. They trust that if they want to see something exist, that other people will want to see the thing exist. They don’t WAIT for permission. They BECOME the permission.

Every single project that I have ever launched was something that NO ONE asked for. Every Instagram post. Every book I’ve written. Even this essay. No one asked for this and I’m doing it anyway, because it’s something I needed to hear, even a few months ago when I was waiting for the courage to start my Substack.

Audacious faith in your taste will take you far. Trust that if you’re obsessed with it, someone else will be too. Your ideas should be taken seriously, but the curse of taking them too seriously is that you begin to hoard them. Keeping them selfishly close to your chest. But those big and beautiful ideas inside you are too brilliant to hoard, and if you ever need to humble yourself when you start to take your ideas too seriously, remember that you’re hoarding art the world didn’t even fucking ask for.

So just start making it.

Have the audacity to bring to life those visions that no one asked for, and who knows, the world might even start asking you for them.

Create first, the permission will follow.

Thank you so much for reading, I would love to hear from you in the comments!

What audacious risks have you taken that have paid off before? Are you ready to dust off those drafts, hit publish and contribute your ideas to the world?!

I hope this essay softens the pressure you place on yourself to make perfect choices. I hope it gives you a kick up the arse to just choose SOMETHING and playfully carve out an intentional life, full of the things you love.

Last week someone asked me if I had ever wanted to ‘turn my love for music into a career’ and it sent me into the existential deep-dive that is this essay.

YES, of course I have!

But the trouble is, I want to do everything.

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I have wanted to find a way to give you ‘more’ of me for a while. A space to connect us all together where complex ideas and nuance are free to flourish, outside of social media. A space for me to yap my arse off amongst friends. Articulately, messily, uncensored and for as long as my heart desires. This newsletter and blog is how I plan to do just that (LUCKY YOU!)

The best way to describe this newsletter is that if we were friends, these are all things I would be gushing over or obsessing about to you over strong coffee, while my rings clash chaotically against one another as I gesticulate wildly with my hands. Yes. That’s pretty much how I interact with you all on social media anyway. But over here I feel I can really let myself go, in my little pink room, behind my little paywall.

This is a space for me to share my musings and all of the things that set my fucking soul on fire. I’m a very passionate person and have fought for dear life to protect my spark since I was a young girl. Despite the odds, my enthusiasm and curiosity for life remains intact! I decided a while ago to become the most fierce gatekeeper of my joy, because keeping that spark alive isn’t just about ‘me’. Joy is contagious and I am a woman BURSTING at the seams, aching to pour her whole soul into something so that she can reignite that passion in others, too. I want to make the world a more beautiful place. That’s why I spend so much time writing books. That’s why I create content. But sometimes I don’t want to wait a few years to share my musings with you, printed perfectly into a book between my beautifully illustrated spreads. Or equally, dilute my thoughts into a short Instagram reel designed for our dwindling attention spans. Sometimes I just want to write something, press send and chuck it out into the ether. I need more nuance! Plus, the messy and imperfect middle is a lot more delicious anyway. 

I have no clue how you ended up here. I may have twirled into your life through instagram while dancing to Lou Reed in a slip dress, or you may have stumbled across me in a bookstore through one of my philosophical and feminist books (Yes darling, I have RANGE! And you should expect that range to be reflected in this newsletter!!!). However you’ve found yourself here, I’m deeply grateful that our paths crossed. The driving force behind everything I create is my abundant love for life, women and a desire to create a more beautiful world. I create art as a form of alchemy, turning my pain, observations and experiences into tangible wisdom that can be passed on to help others - and I want a new space to do that work, here.

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While this newsletter is indeed a generous offering from me to you, this newsletter is also my medicine. I need to express myself. While I may have managed to recover my spark after burying it beneath shame and fear so many bloody times, it is only through continuing to express myself that I can keep her alive. I’ve discovered that suppression of my self expression leads to depression, and I can no longer afford to pay the mental cost for hoarding my ideas out of fear and storing them inside. I want to die a woman who emptied herself of everything she yearned to express with the world. Even TYPING that empowers me! It also feels a very beautiful and brave intention for me to set for this space. This blog is a loving attempt to playfully slay my perfectionism and become a more courageous writer, one imperfect post at a time. My creative instincts have never lead me astray and it excites me to honour them here, however deep and serious or silly and whimsical they may be.

So, what will I be doing here?

I want to inspire you, delight you, prod your thoughts off their habitual beaten track and set them off into exciting fresh territory. Whether that’s through my illustrations, my book recommendations, motivational essays, advice columns, my musings on feminism, tips on writing a book, spirituality, fashion, solo travel tips, a list of the songs I think SHOULD have been in Twilight, my favourite ways to spend a Sunday, or my curated playlists to accompany you in every occasion, from a melancholy airport drive, to a sexy dry humping session on the sofa. This is my ‘thought dump’ space to share whatever the fuck I want, basically! I might even share some exclusive tattoo designs that you’re free to use. When I told my mum I was creating this page she said ‘FLOSS you should film yourself going SHOPPING, the girls would LOVE THAT!!!’. Who knows what we’ll get up to over here. But one thing’s for sure, I will be having FUN. I am on a curious journey of unlearning toxic beliefs and ideology, to develop and nurture my own philosophy and values that are authentic to me. This is no place for perfection, moral righteousness or judgement because creativity and authenticity cannot flourish in such an environment. Expect only playfulness, exploration and a shit tonne of my unbridled excitement. The freedom of it all honestly feels illegal. I’m excited to start this journey together and see what happens.

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Why Substack?

For years, you have only been able to interact with me in two extremes, either on Instagram in the flash that I appear on your feed, or when I publish a book every couple of years. Substack feels like the delicious middle ground I’ve been looking for. I really just want to connect with you all and invite you into a little room on the internet that feels sacred and magical, where so much of it today can feel divisive and hostile.

I’m sure you’ve seen the tweet about how there was once a time when the internet was only accessible on a computer and it was a ‘place’ we could visit. A magical world we entered when we turned our computers on, and one we could exit once we left our desks. We used to say ‘brb’ when chatting with our friends. But now that we have mobile phones the internet is no longer a ‘place’ - we live here. We are constantly accessible. We don’t use it intentionally anymore, we use it out of habit. On the toilet. Waiting for the bus. In the car. Even from our beds. We pull out our phones in a moment of boredom, or worse, when we’re enraged and want to dump our shitty feelings onto someone else. But that’s why I am creating this Substack. It’s slower here. I love that you have to log into your laptop and intentionally enter our sacred little room! Even if you do use the mobile app to access my musings, I like that Substack is still a ‘room’ that exists outside of the frantic, attention-grabbing, nervous-system hijacking ‘room’ of social media. To be in this space, you have to actually go out of your way and consciously choose to be here.

Instead, this Substack is like being invited to enter a cosy pink den, with incense burning, while I offer to pour you strong coffee from my French press into a floral teacup as we sit together, chat shit, share advice and say all the things we’re too afraid to say on social media. Coming over here feels a lot like leaving the rat-race in a crowded city where everyone’s fighting for space, and fucking off to the country side for a more intentional way of living. There will no doubt be less noise, less comments and less people over here. And that is a very, very beautiful thing. 

It occurred to me this year that something felt deeply out of alignment about only sharing my work on social media, a platform that has no doubt been so instrumental to my success, but also damaging to my mental health. It is so fiercely addictive, that it’s the single thing in my life that I have had to enforce the most boundaries with (I will delve into what those boundaries are in an essay on here soon!). I love social media. It is the only way I have been able to get my work out there as a writer, connect with all of you and publish successful books. But I don’t like the way it hijacks my nervous system. Sometimes before even opening the app. The adrenaline rush of wondering if what you will see is going to inspire you, or keep you up at night in a terror of anxiety. I don’t like the way we’re encouraged to react quickly to things and how it brings out the most egoic and least generous versions of ourselves. I don’t like condensing my long ideas into short-form content, stripping everything of nuance. I’m a woman that loves to yap, for hooooours, and very articulately, GODDAMN IT! My heart yearns for something slower, longer, deeper. I ache for complexity and intentionality. For spaces that allow the most generous and conscious versions of ourselves to respond, to create a more beautiful and conscious world. So I’m creating that cosy pink and sacred room for us all, here.

What can you expect?

As a free subscriber you will be able to receive an occasional free newsletter from me, delivered straight to your inbox.

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Paid subscribers (£5.99 a month, £60 annually) will officially become part of my digital inner circle! Your subscription allows me to take the time out to create my content and as a big thank you for your support, you will get the FAT and full of EVERYTHING version of this delicious newsletter. That includes more frequent newsletters (instead of an occasional one), audio versions of newsletters read by me, new illustrations, exclusive video content from me that you can’t view anywhere else online, the ability to leave comments on my posts and engage with other subscribers and MOST excitingly, you will gain access to my exclusive online community and group chat for you to connect with like minded people. Perhaps your dream business partner is lurking in there. Or a group of witches to do full-moon rituals with. Or someone with the perfect restaurant recommendation for your next solo-trip. Two people who once met in my comment section are now engaged, so who the fuck knows!

Join the community!

For my Founding Members (£150 annually) as a big thank you for your generous pledge, you will receive all of the above, plus a free print of my artwork for you to choose from, a personal discount code to use on my store for LIFE and you will get access to tickets for any of my future events BEFORE anyone else. You will also know that you are making a real difference to keeping my blog thriving and running. Your support means everything to me and ensures that I can take the time out to create this content. 

While it feels ridiculous that I didn’t start this sooner, I do believe in divine timing. I have searched far and wide for the right home to connect us all together for years and a lot of things have been conspiring magically in my life lately that have all pointed me towards…here. So I’m going with it. It just feels so right. It’s like my own magazine! Writing without permission? Creating videos as long as I fucking want? Talking about writing, art, books, creativity, philosophy and sharing my most authentic and unshackled-self with you all in my own corner of the internet? Where no one’s yelling and fighting to be heard? On a page that I have ownership over? I almost can’t believe it…

Welcome to my delicious little pink corner of the internet. Please feel free to leave a comment below with anything that you would be interested in seeing me write about here! Let’s see how this goes. I can’t fucking wait to dive in with you.