Subscribe now

The phone calls, texts, DM’s started pouring in as soon as I made the announcement. It breaks my heart how much all of you care. Thank you - you are what makes all of this worth it.

calendar for our last week

The big question has been “So what’s next?” and that’s so hard to respond to.

I’ve dedicated the last 6 years to the arts and culture of Oakland. Artists, musicians, creatives, regular folx who just care. I’ve given everything to creating safe spaces for people of color, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m also really tired.

I’m tired of fighting with the City of Oakland. I’m tired, time and time again, of not having enough resources. Burning myself out, stretching to make everything work. I want to go to the river with my wife on Sunday. I want to be spend time with my son where I don’t have to answer 3 phone calls and run off to put out a fire. I’ve overdrawn my checking account too many times in the last 6 years.

While this iteration of couchdate was a huge success, it came with a lot of personal failures.

I want to take a moment to apologize. I’ve made a lot of wrong turns on this journey. I’ve hurt a lot of people I really care about it. If you’re reading this, please just know that was never my intention. I was trying to hold it all together, and I didn’t. Know that I’ll always be around, ready to listen and do what it takes to repair if you ever decide that’s something you want.

If I’m being really honest, I’ve been working out of crisis mode for the better part of this last 6 years. Trying to keep up, trying to grow, trying to meet other people’s expectations. In some ways. I was looking for that validation that I never got as a child. The pat on the back, the good job. Not believing that I could ask for help. Being ashamed when I did.

In between paying rent for my apartment, rent for couchdate, being a father, and trying to make couchdate as beautiful as I could with no resources, I never made time for myself.

It’s taken everything, and I don’t know how much more I can give. I don’t want to give up yet, but here’s not much gas left in the tank. I want time to be Emmanuel, not just couchdate.

I also want to provide a space where people of color feel safe. Where they look around and feel like they belong. Where we can play SZA really really loud and an obscure Brazilian record right after. Where the lighting is just so. Where femmes can come by themselves and make a new friend. A space where people call and ask if they can bring their babies and the answer is hell yes. Where there’s beautiful furniture. Where people ask what we have on the menu that’s non-alcoholic and they’re presented with thoughtful, curated options, not just juice.

our last event Downtown

“So, what’s next?”

We have an idea - we were offered a beautiful space in Temescal. The rent is reasonable. There’s foot traffic. We could move in soon. We have so many thoughts around how this new space could serve the community. But I can’t bootstrap this time. Actually, let me correct that - I don’t wan’t to bootstrap it this time. I don’t want to have to wake up at 1am to finish the admin work for the week. I don’t want to be in fear of not being able to pay rent. I want to build from a place of security. I want to pay people. I want us to have a future, and for me to not kill myself to get there.

“So what’s next?”

Our goal is to raise $30k over the next month. This would cover our moving costs, deposit, and first few months of rent.

Our stretch goal is $50k. If someone was interested in long-term Investment investment, partnership, or a shared ownership conversation — we are very open to sustainable, values-aligned growth of any size.

If I can’t raise the money (or get close to that number) we’re going to take a break for the next year. Either way, just know that I love you. It’s been an epic ride Downtown. I’m really proud of what we’ve accomplished, and looking forward to the future either way.

Lovers come and go, but couchdate is forever .

“So what’s next?”

Subscribe now

Now that the formalities are dealt with, to business - couchdate finally has a website. It took about 5 years give or take a couple. I can’t tell you how many drafts were scrapped, how many designers were messaged, emailed, chatted on the phone with, reference material sent to, google forms filled. I’ll spare you the long checklist of items that didn’t lead to a website, but I do want you to know that it was long. But why?

Subscribe now

I come from a generation where websites needed to be coded. They were custom built, to a degree, providing the specific functions you wanted. Static, simple, and “easy” to navigate. I was never one for Flash, CSS, or anything fancy. Some tables, a dancing baby or two, and basic HTML told me what I needed to be told, and took me where I needed to go.

Examples of early web “design”

And the dancing baby, which many of our substack subscribers may be a bit too young to recognize.

My point being, I remember when it was a big deal to have a website. There’s something so official, so final? It has to be just right. The domain name has to be perfect. I need a designer who really understands that couchdate is different. It has to have the right fonts and features and cool little clicky things that no one else’s website has. This has been a really hard feeling to let go of.

And so, for the last four years, couchdate hasn’t had a website. Until now. Nudged very consistently by one of our staff and with a few $$ donations, I let go of my aspirations of having the coolest wesbite ever, and went to where dreams go to die - Squarespace.

I picked a template, changed the colors, and plugged my shit into it. A few hours and a hundred dollars later we were live. And now that it’s been a few weeks, I have to say - it’s pretty nice. To just put the thing out there. To not wait until it’s just so, to not have complete control, to allow it to be just what it is. Not using perfection to build molehills up into mountains. And not letting ideas of what things were or could be prevent them from actually being something. Life is hard, websites shouldn’t be. This is where I would do my Squarespace if I was sponsored.

https://www.couchdate.org/

*For a little more info on the title reference and figure on the calendar

couchdate World Tour Stops #03 and #04

This next week we have stops #03 and #04 on the couchdate Fundraiser Tour. The restaurant Sfizio over in Rockridge, and the historic Stork Club off of Telegraph.

For those of you who have been following couchdate throughout the years, ya’ll are familiar with Sfizio. If you’re newer, Sfizio is a simple, beautiful restuarant in the Rockridge/Claremont neighborhood. Initially a pop-up by Chef Matt Solimono, Sfizio become notorious for their affordable fresh pastas, delicious meatballs, and warm atmosphere even though it was just a pop-up.

Sfizio owner Matt Solimono couchdate founder Emmanuel Singh (me!) have gone back years, from brunches that lasted well into dinner hours to dinner parties that went well into the morning. Sfizio was one of those sparkly whispy dreams of conversation. An idea, a way of doing things, a feeling. A lot of talking hours about how things were in the world, and how Sfizio could be different. As Matt started to materialize Sfizio out of late night conversations and into actual kitchens, naturally I started working on it with him., I began in the kitchen with him, and eventually moved out to the front of house to develop Sfizio’s friendly, warm, but no nonsense style of taking care of people. I started bringing my vintage radios to the pop ups. Then my record player and my my vintage speakers. The write ups started coming in, and the lines started getting longer.

It was soooo much work for so little money (if you’re selling pastas for $10 each you gotta sell a lot of pastas buddy) but we knew we were building towards something larger. Of course couchdate was going on at the same time, and thus the infamous couchdate x Sfizio dinners were born. I’ll try to find some videos and photos from them to post when I have some free time.

Today - Sfizio is in it’s second year as bustling restuarant in Rockridge. couchdate’s new cocktail/wine bar just finished it’s first month in Downtown Oakland. Sfizio & couchdate both started as dreams - to feed not just their community’s belly’s, but their souls. By taking of care of people, providing a beautiful atmosphere, and of course playing dope music.

For stop #03 of the couchdate fundraiser tour, I’ll will be bringing couchdate’s vintage hifi sound system to Sfizio, playing Matt’s favorite kind of music - soul.

Saturday October 5th Sfizio will be serving drinks 3pm-5pm, and dinner service will be the usual 5pm-9:30pm. couchdate & DJ ZZ will be playing records 3pm-9pm. I’ll be bringing my full collection of rare & classic soul 45s. Come by, grab some pastas, and throw some cash at couchdate’s GoFundMe (or throw cash at it anytime ). If you ain’t got money bring some friends. If you ain’t got friends bring yourself, I’ll pay your BART/bus fare.

Not much to say here - Thee Stork Club is a legend for small, underground scenes. Having events on Monday nights has always been important. So many of our industry folks can never make it out on a Friday or Saturday, and your favorite bartenders and chefs desere to enjoy things too. Got a killer line up of DJ’s for this one.

Monday 7pm-Late, I’ll be on the decks around 10pm.

Share

Intimate show on Wednesday, Open Decks Thursday, my favorite DJ on Friday, and a special Bollywood Vinyl Listening Party on Saturday. I’m gonna be cooking for the listening party on Saturday, super excited about that.

Also this week, couchdate starts it’s world tour!

And by world tour, I mean Bay Area tour. And by Bay Area Tour I really mean East Bay Tour. And really it’s mostly an Oakland Tour. I mean that’s where all our favorite places are.

A lot of my friends own or run these spots. couchdate has always been about the community, and it feels so right to be bringing our magic and combining it with the magic of these small local businesses. This first stop is at the historic cocktail bar Tupper & Reed in Berkeley. Initially designed as a music store in 1925 by architect William Yelland, the space has been a concert venue, community space and most recently the cocktail bar Tupper & Reed. T&R have sponsored monthly residencies for local artists since the beginning.

My set there will be an exploration of ingenuity, culture, and how hip hop is the new jazz. So much of my record collection falls under these two categories. Just the thought of sharing their connection with ya’ll brings my heart a little leap of joy.

Design

couchdate is all about to design. From the flow of a space, to the furniture & fixings inside, to the materials used to promote the space. The propaganda. Just like with interior design, I have zero formal training in graphic design. Much of what I make is informed by my sensibilities around utility, open space, and the typesetting of the records I collect.

One of the most important aspects of any graphic design is legibility. The ability to clearly read and understand the information being presented. Some of the most iconic, and thus unsurprisingly legible examples of this on records in Blue Note Records.

For my tour flyers I had a lot of information I needed to convey on a flyer that fits Instagram formatting, so I turned to my Blue Note albums. So many words, but so easy to read and they always looked cool. With a little digging I found the type used most commonly was Franklin Gothic. However, Franklin Gothic was initially conceived as a single weight font, and a variety of weights is crucial for defining different sections.

So I settled on its closest relative Libre Franklin which worked superbly. Everything from extra light to extra bold was available.

I also referred to the book Sun Ra - "Art on Saturn" for distinctive art outside of my collection. Early Sun Ra records released on Saturn Records heavily riffed on the Blue Note covers, if not outright stealing from them.

It’s incredible how much you can do with one font in a bunch of several weights and sizes. I really believe that simple, utility informed design will always lead to style. I’m so happy with how the flyers came out, and how they reference a lot of the culture couchdate is built on. See ya’ll on the world tour!

Love,
Emmanuel

Subscribe now

What I had originally written was: “couchdate is open! Our hours are Wednesdays - Fridays, 4pm-10pm. The schedule will be

• community night on Wednesdays

• open vinyl decks on Thursdays

• listening parties/DJ’s on Fridays

Community Night - We’ll be doing $30 bottles of wine and be rotating between board game nights, movie nights, and whatever else ya’ll ask for

Open Vinyl Decks - I’m so excited about this. One hour slots and letting people strut their stuff. Tell your friends. Also $30 bottles of wine

Vinyl Listening Parties - Ranging from specific albums to deep dives into forgotten genres and sultry vibes. Bring your friends”

This post was going to be a quick, fun, “yay” maybe come by. It’s been sitting drafted for about 3 weeks.

It didn’t feel honest

What feels honest is to say I feel like I’ve lost the plot. Whatever thin threads I’ve been following have unraveled, leaving nothing where I thought I was holding an actual thing.

couchdate was never planned. But far from being the “surprise!” unwanted child, couchdate become the favorite. Before I knew it, my entire life, all of my time, and so much of my identity became wrapped up in this cute sort of portmanteau.

Initially I wanted to “flip” furniture. As quickly as that came it went. My desire to share, to find excellence in the everyday, to express myself took over. The furniture selection became eclectic, defying categorization. There was a mood being painted. A tone, a key for the improvisation.

It was jazz

The notes started to push other things around, to make room. I could see the space, so I started to invite people in. And as they came their reactions said it all. The surprise, the nostalgia, the joy, the comfort. The vintage furniture became a place to imagine. A place to dream, and even a place to rest. For those that were lucky enough to have come to couchdate when it was a furniture showroom, it must have been so hard to describe to others what made it not a furniture showroom.

I can tell you though. The fact that most of the things weren’t for sale.

It was never a space created for, designed for, or motivated by money. As beautiful as that is, it comes with some very obvious downsides. At the time I was able to scrape by, and the boom of everyone redecorating their homes helped. The collaborations brought interest, brought eyes, and sometimes a little bit of money too.

As the concept changed and evolved, the growing pains waxed and waned. There were good months. There were bad months. There were aspects that made sense, there were aspects that made money, there were aspects that made neither. But the idea of space grew and grew. A space in Oakland where ______. couchdate means so many things to so many different people, I’ll let you fill in the blank.

couchdate became a community

A community that lasted through COVID. A community that lasted through break-ins and break-ups, through evictions and KQED write-ups. The successes and the failures got jumbled up so neatly it became hard to distinguish which was which. And through that cocktail of successes and failures, we’ve ended up with a Hifi Bar at 102 Frank Ogawa Plaza, Oakland.

On my lowest days it’s felt like a decision fueled solely by obsession and compulsion. On the best of days it’s a blazing beacon for hope and future and community in Oakland. On this day (or is it night as I’m writing this at 12:54 in the morning after having put my son to bed and locked up the bar?) couchdate made $64 dollars and 21 cents. If I factor in cost of goods that may just cover the cost of electricity for being open that day.

This is our 3rd week back after being closed for a month or so. As I was locking up and walking to my car, one of the unhoused folx from the neighborhood stopped by the doors. As we recognized each other, there was a nod of mutual respect, as we both shared a hard fought citizenship to an inner city’s downtown. He looked somewhere between astonished and amused, and said “At it again huh?”

With a resigned laugh I said, “Yeah, I mean I’m trying.” I just can’t shake his response. “Hey, the doors are open right?”

Anyway, the doors are open. Come by, bring your friends. Show us some love on GoFundMe. We’ll be here.

love,
Emmanuel from couchdate

Share

Subscribe now

For a lot of you on here it’s been a minute since you’ve heard from me. But you’re probably used to that. As you stay with me over the years you’ll see I have a habit to come and go like the like the tide. I promise I’m working on it =)

I’m taking some time off work to write and focus, so I’ll be filling in all the details of what’s been happening over the last year, but before that let me tel you about this week! We got a lil summer fling happening.

Monday July 22 - Radio Set on Hyde FM

I’ll be playing poetic, spacious, rare Brasilian records on local community oriented radio station Hyde FM from 8pm-9pm Monday July 22. This set is so much of what I love about records. The journey it takes to gather them, and the signifigance of a collection of them together in one home. A lot of the records I’m playing are so hard to find, it’s not just pressing play on a website. These records were made, sold to stores, where Brazilian people bought them, and lived lives in their homes, before they were sold of to another store, where another person bought them, and brought them to the US, or they were sought after, searched for in dusty mold filled warehouses right in Brazil. It took a lot of work for them to end up on my shelf, and that process is what makes them so special. Listen in.

Thursday July 25 - Audio Affair - “Rock the Boat”

This is a new concept I’m trying out - Audio Affair. It’s a colloboration with burlesque show Womanopoly SF. We’re doing performance based vinyl listening parties for our favorite R&B records. This month is Aaliyah’s self titled - with Sgt DieWie, Miss Bea Haven, and Banbury Cross all performing selct songs from the album. This will be at 7pm at our downtown Oakland location 102 Frank Ogawa Plaza (the old Slug Bar). Should be a lot of fun

Saturday July 27 - Solange Vinyl Listening Party

I’ve been putting a ton of work into the hifi sound system at 102 Frank Ogawa Plaza Oakland. So excited to showcase these two classic albums on it. I’ll be playing Solange’s “A Seat at the Table” at 8pm, and “When I Get Home” at 10pm. We’ll have cocktails, NA Drinks, and beer. A twist on a classic couchdate experience. See you there

Excited to reconnect

Love,
Emmanuel

Much much love ya’ll. I know I haven’t been around but we’re getting back into the groove and I’ll be posting more frequently - musings, couchdates, and whatnots. I’ll start by sharing two events I’m super excited for this month.

Subscribe now

The first is my underground supper club untitled lovesong. It’s fucking scary to do these dinners. And in the fear I find confidence - it feels punk rock. Like I was Henry Rollins in 1982 writhing & shouting around.

Out the window are all the conventions of “dining.” Everything I had learned in restaurants goes in the trash with the watermelon rinds and onions peels. I try to find my grandmas, gentle, unhurried pace, instead of the frantic sense of urgency of “professional” kitchens. I look down and find love in my hands.

“Fuck tables & chairs”

Restaurants, especially high end restaurants, are supposed to serve the finest of wines to their diners. And restaurant managers, servers, even food runners taste them, and sometimes even take them home. But rarely does any of the lord’s juice make it to the back of the house, the kitchen. If it does it was a mispoor of something cheap, or the dregs at the bottom of the wine bottle. So, true to the spirit of the kitchens I was raised in, at untitled lovesong I serve cheap beer & cheap wine.

There’s something nice about not having to pretend to be sophisticated. You don’t need to appreciate the subtle notes, or be an expert on France. There’s nothing to be right or wrong about. You don’t need to be anything other than happy and drunk.

A fuck tables & chairs. I didn’t grow up with them. We didn’t even have forks or knives in my house growing up. So at untitled lovesong I serve you on the floor, the way my babiji (grandmother) did.

Our next dinner is Saturday February 24th. Tickets below:

https://couchdateoak.ticketleap.com/untitled

The other event I wanted to highlight is our Sade “Love Deluxe” Vinyl Listening Party on Friday February 23. If you haven’t been to a vinyl listening party yet this would be the one. If you’ve been before you know you can’t miss this!

These are small, thoughtful, intimate events modeled after Japanese Jazz Kissas (cafes). We will play “Love Deluxe” in its entirety on vinyl on the vintage high fidelity stereo system at couchdate 📻

Tickets:

https://couchdateoak.ticketleap.com/lovedeluxe

Share

It’s been a minute. Lovely to see ya’ll again

Subscribe now

For tickets you can email, message me (here or instagram), or click on the link tree and find the events

https://linktr.ee/couchdate

Share

This month we got a special Easter Soup Pop Up, a Martini Night, & some very thoughtful DJ sets

Subscribe now

Open Hours on April 9th

Open Hours featuring an Easter Soup Pop Up by GetStewpid
Sunday April 9th, 11am - 4pm
hosted at couchdate, 300 Jefferson St Oakland
————————————————————————————————————

This is our once a month Open Hours. Come shop highly curated vintage furniture, rare books, clothing, & vinyl records. Bay Area soup extraordinaire Getstewpid will be popping up with a delicious soup of the day. The rose shall floweth.

Vinyl Listening Party on April 14th

Dominique Guiot’s L'Univers De La Mer - A Vinyl Listening Experience
Friday April 14th 7pm - 8:30pm
hosted at couchdate, 300 Jefferson St Oakland
————————————————————————————————

These are small, thoughtful, intimate events modeled after Japanese Jazz Kissas (cafes). We will play this album in its entirety on vinyl on the vintage high fidelity stereo system at my shop • event space couchdate.

This is a transcendent, powerful ritual. People coming together to share in the known, explore the unknown, and be changed by analog sound waves. Tickets are 

• $25/person

• include a cocktail

• are presale only

• are very limited

Email me (facetheemu@gmail.com) or DM me on instagram for tickets

The first Baba’s House x couchdate collab

couchdate DJing Mahjong Night
Saturday April 15th 6pm - 11pm
hosted at Baba’s House (upstairs), 410 15th Street Oakland————————————————————————————————

Baba’s House is a community hub for Asian-American culture, Bay Area culture, and creatives. They also have natural wine, asian snacks, dope vibes & one of the best sound systems in the Bay. Their monthly Mahjong Night is a ton of fun wether you grew up watching your parents play (like they did) or have never touched májiàngpái (Mahjong tiles). I’ll be putting together an extra special vinyl set full of 1970’s psychedelia with some Cantonese highlights.

RSVP here but also feel free to roll thru

https://www.thisisbabashouse.com/events?loxi_pathname=%2Fmahjong-night-3-6053

Industry Night/Happy Hour Shopping Experience

“Working Late” A Boutique Happy Hour Shopping Experience
Monday April 24th, 6pm - 9pm
hosted at couchdate, 300 Jefferson St, Oakland
————————————————————————————————————————

Martinis, good lighting, and mid century furniture…what else could you need on a Monday night? couchdate will be open these special hours to accommodate all you beautiful people that normally can’t make it on the weekend. There will be records playing, vintage clothing, records, home goods, and furniture for sale. And of course vibes

EXTRAS

May have some additional DJ nights and some special guests on Martini Night, we’ll see!

Interested in having a small event, party, or photoshoot at couchdate? check out my peerspace or just email/DM me!

https://www.peerspace.com/pages/listings/63fda70ef9d022000eb56116

Share

I’ve been hiding inside of myself. 

In 2022, I turned 31, and my son turned one. I quietly celebrated my shop couchdate’s two year anniversary. I started doing vinyl listening parties at the shop, which had been a dream for years. And I hated myself.

Subscribe now

I had digested all the racism, all the homophobia, all the hatred the world had spoon-fed me. I had known so little love that I was desperate for any that I could get.

And that’s such a horrible place to be. In all my relationships (friendships, romantic, business) I would prioritize the other person, instead of myself, scared that otherwise they wouldn’t love me. I hid so many sides of myself, scared they weren’t deserving of love. My gentle side, or my soft side, or my gay side.

Through others I was a slave to myself. My own critiques, my own insecurities, my own hatred. My own shame of being queer.

But where did it all start? 

I’ll start with one of my first memories - I’m standing naked in my bed, leaning against the rails. I’m 3 years old and crying like a newborn baby. The room is dark but there is a little bit of light. I’m not sure if it’s from the window or the other room. A tall bearded man is leaving the room, and I’m screaming for my mom, but no one comes.

“I would rather be anywhere else but here.”

My mom was a sex worker and a drug addict. I don’t know which came first, but I always came third. We’ve never talked about it, and I don’t know how much she knew about what was happening, but she had to know enough. To stop it. To change something. To protect me. And she didn’t.

So as a small child I was molested over and over again by strange men that I didn’t know. I don’t know how many times it happened. I don’t remember everything that they did, but they left me shattered. Broken into bits and strewn across the floor. And little baby Emu, somehow, picked up all the pieces he could find, nestled them in his arms, and kept on moving. That’s where I’m coming from.

That’s where I started. Crying and naked and helpless.

Who could ever love me? How could someone so broken, so damaged, deserve love? As I started to construct the world back around me, I was missing key pieces. Love. Support. Safety. What did love look like? How did it feel to be safe? To be taken care of? Through doting on others I tried to make up for what I didn’t have. If I could blow you up with lovebombing then you would be in pieces like me.

When I was suffering, I felt at home. Sacrifice and crying and hurting - a home where I don’t have a voice and somehow I thought I was being loved. So I never learned how to say “love me,” just “I love you.” I never felt like I deserved to receive much back, and I didn’t. The small amount of “love” I did was completely conditional. Of course I came to take that as normal. Of course I learned to build relationships off that. Off of not being supported. Off of being abused. Off of locking away the vulnerable parts of myself, so they wouldn’t be hurt. So they would never be hurt ever again.

As a brown man, going out into the world every day felt like war. Against the color of my skin, against the way I dressed, the way I spoke, against the shape of my nose. Against who I loved. I built up complex defenses, especially from feeling helpless. Machismo, aggressiveness, control, all weapons that made me feel safe on the battlefield. Tattoos, gold chains, fresh dickies, all armor that shielded me. Drugs and sex and drinking all hid the battle weariness. Hid my shame from liking women and men. Hid my fear of being helpless. If I don’t let you in you can’t hurt me. I created a world where I was by myself.

Page from Joey Terrill’s 1980’s chicano-centric queer publication Homeboy Beautiful via USC Libraries archive

Being helpless triggered a wave of memories starting from being 3 years old and spiraling through so many moments growing up - wanting to feel pretty - being punked on for wearing girl’s pants - crying on the floor by myself after getting jumped by a gang for wearing the wrong color - feeling completely isolated for being myself - I would rather be anywhere else but here.

So with the hidden sides, came the shutting off. If I’m not here, you can’t hurt me. Being alone was better than being hurt. Being emotionally unavailable was better than being emotionally wrecked. But the truth always reveals itself. The truth came out, but I stayed in the closet. It came out in reading Running with Scissors alone under my desk during lunchtime at school so no one would know how much I could relate. It came out in midnight car rides, in moonlit living rooms, outside of bars at 3am. It came out in deleted text messages, and burned love letters, and hasty showers. It came out in hidden pictures, in cheating, in self hatred.

In 2023, I turned 32. My son is going to be 2 years old. And I learned how to love myself. My gentle side, my soft side, my gay side. In my relationships I’m establishing firm boundaries and stating my needs. I’m putting down my weapons. I’m taking off my armor. I’m learning how to say “love me.” I might get hurt, but at least I’m here.

Before I just never felt safe enough to be myself. Whether thats as a soft brown man, or a creative one, or a homo one. Even right now, writing this, my heart rate is going up. My chest is getting tight, and I can feel the fear swell in my eyes. I still carry a lot of shame around being queer, but this time I’m not alone. I have myself

Share

If you’re interested in supporting me and my shop, please check out my patreon

https://www.patreon.com/couchdate

Subscribe now

Vinyl Listening Party on Feb 26th

Don Cherry’s “Brown Rice” A Vinyl Listening Experience
Sunday February 26th, 12pm - 1:30pm
hosted at couchdate, 300 Jefferson St Oakland
————————————————————————————————————————

It’s hard to pick a favorite album from Don Cherry’s illustrious career, but “Brown Rice” (also released as “Don Cherry”) is probably the one I come back to the most. There’s a deeply peaceful quality in this expansive, guiding, & spiritual work. We will be listening to the entire album on vinyl on the vintage high fidelity analog sound system at couchdate.

This is a presale only event. Feel free to email me (facetheemu@gmail.com), or message me on instagram for tickets. Tickets are $25 and include tea service. Seating is very limited.

Industry Night/Happy Hour Shopping Experience

“Working Late” A Boutique Happy Hour Shopping Experience
Monday March 6th, 6pm - 9pm
hosted at couchdate, 300 Jefferson St, Oakland
————————————————————————————————————————

Martinis, good lighting, and mid century furniture…what else could you need on a Monday night? couchdate will be open these special hours to accommodate all you beautiful people that normally can’t make it on the weekend. There will be records playing, vintage clothing, records, home goods, and furniture for sale. And of course vibes

MORE WAYS TO SUPPORT

If you’re not able to make it to any of the events, or you love what we do, please consider supporting couchdate on Patreon. keep beautiful events and home goods accessible to all, and receive some really dope benefits in the process

https://www.patreon.com/couchdate

DJing Spring Wine Release Block Party all Weekend

Spring Wine Release Block Party for Donkey & Goat Winery
Saturday March 11th & Sunday March 12th, 12pm - 5pm
hosted at Donkey & Goar Winery, 1340 5th St, Berkely
————————————————————————————————————————

Donkey & Goat Winery’s much anticipated Spring Wine Release! There will be food pop ups from Tacos Sincero, Rucolina Dining, Shuck Buddy, Bolita Masa, and Urelio’s Pizza. Music will be provided by yours truly. Tickets are $20 and include a free glass of wine. Tickets are available at:

https://www.donkeyandgoat.com/product/spring-release-weekend-party-tickets

Sunday Supper Dinner Party

“The Things We Love” 4 Course Dinner w/ Wine Pairing
Sunday March 19th, 5pm - 7pm
hosted at couchdate, 300 Jefferson St, Oakland
————————————————————————————————————————

Maybe the last of the Sfizio x couchdate dinners. A very special menu highlighting the amazing seafood and produce available in California this time of year. There will be four courses, each with its own drink pairing. Dinner is served family style and the vibes are cozy! These are very intimate dinners where the food and the vinyl records played are inspired by each other. Feel free to email (facetheemu@gmail.com) or message on Instagram for tickets. This event is presale only and seating is very limited.

Share

MORE EVENTS IN THE WORKS

Vinyl Listening Party on Saturday March 25th

DJing at Bar 355, Date TBD

Possible pop ups and some more DJ nights in the works!

hiiiiiiii this is emu from couchdate. couchdate is a community oriented creative gallery & vintage shop, highlighting relevant voices through vintage furniture, music, & love.

Subscribe now

As the cost of living in the Bay Area continues to skyrocket, I have stood fast by couchdate’s mission - to make having beautiful things accessible & affordable for EVERYONE. To create moments for EVERYONE, not just those that can “afford” it. Especially communities traditionally marginalized & gatekpt from good design, art, & creative spaces.

As a business that was gritty & bootstrapped to begin with, this has left couchdate in a really tough financial situation. I either need to raise my prices for all events & furniture significantly, or figure out something new. As a poor brown kid growing up in Bay, I’m used to making something out of nothing. So I have something new for u -

With an incredible amount of thought & care, I would love to introduce u to my Patreon page. Here u can support couchdate, & in doing so are helping keep beautiful moments & furniture affordable for EVERYONE. You're also getting access to very curated & thoughtful exclusive content.

patreon.com/couchdate

Share

So much music happening this month. Let’s get into it!

Subscribe now

Tiny Desk Style Show on Feb 11th

“Save the Date” - A Candelit Valentine’s Day Performance by Dani Offline
Saturday February 11th, doors open at 8pm, $10 cover
hosted at couchdate, 300 Jefferson St Oakland
—————————————————————————————————————

Dani Offline will be performing an intimate, candlelit set at couchdate. It will be romantic, moving, and yes, there will be a bar. Think Tiny Desk but sexier. Doors open at 8pm, cover is $10.

Dani Offline is a singer-songwriter, producer, and multi-instrumentalist. Born in Birmingham, Alabama, she makes music that is sensual, and introspective, combing her jazz and R&B sensibilities to craft dreamy and soulful songs that weave together intimate and poetic lyricism. She is based out of Oakland.

Special Valentine’s Day Set at Bar 355 on Feb 14th

Valentine’s Day Lowrider Oldies - All 45rpm Vinyl Heartbreaker Set
Tuesday February 14th, 9pm - 1am
at Bar Three-Fifty-Five, 355 19th St, Oakland
——————————————————————————————————

There’s an intangible beauty to a soul 45rpm record. There’s also a simplicity in DJ’ing that way - there’s only 2 sides to a record and most of the time you’re only playing one. Almost like becoming a human jukebox.

For Valentine’s Day I’m breaking out a selection of ice cold heartbreakers, mostly doo woop but a good amount of soul. There will crooning, crying, and candy. See you at Bar 355!

Vintage Shopping & Soup Pop-Up on Feb 19th

Open Hours - A Boutique Shopping Experience
This months featured creative - Getstewpid
Sunday Feb 19th, 12pm - 5pm
hosted at couchdate, 300 Jefferson St, Oakland
———————————————————————————————————

This is our once a month Open Hours. Come shop highly curated vintage furniture, rare books, clothing, & vinyl records. Bay Area soup extraordinaire Getstewpid will be popping up with a delicious soup of the day. There will be wine :)

Vinyl Listening Party on Feb 26th

Don Cherry’s Brown Rice - A Vinyl Listening Experience
Sunday February 26th 12pm - 1:30pm
hosted at couchdate, 300 Jefferson St Oakland
————————————————————————————————

It’s hard to pick a favorite album from Don Cherry’s illustrious career, but “Brown Rice” (also released as “Don Cherry”) is probably the one I come back to the most. There’s a deeply peaceful quality in this expansive, guiding, & spiritual work. We will be listening to the entire album on vinyl on the vintage high fidelity analog sound system at couchdate.

This is a presale only event. Feel free to email me, or message me on instagram for tickets. Tickets are $25 and include tea service. Seating is very limited.

Share

Subscribe now

Film Photography Opening on Jan 13th

Hidden in Plain Sight, a group film photography opening
Friday January 13th, 6pm-9pm
hosted at couchdate 300 Jefferson St, Oakland
——————————————————————————————————————

For Jenn Julian, 2022 was a year of big changes, filled with travel, loss, grief, music, and joy. Through it all she fell in love with analog film photography again. She created this show as a way to bring people together around the shared love of photography. I’ll be hosting this gorgeous free to to the public one day show at couchdate, and will accompany the analog film photos with some analog music from the hifi system. There will be wine and beer, maybe even a little dancing.

Vinyl Listening Party on Jan 22nd

Francis Bebey’s Psychedelic Sanza - A Vinyl Listening Experience
Sunday January 22nd, 12pm-1:30pm
hosted at couchdate 300 Jefferson St, Oakland
——————————————————————————————————————

I’m so pleased to present some of the most intriguing of Francis Bebey’s work. The enigmatic Cameroonian moved to Paris in the early 1960’s to establish his career in the arts. Initially making music heavily based around the guitar, in the 80’s he released music centered on the sanza, also known as the mbira. It could be described as a finger harp of sorts - a wooden with metal tines/keys plucked primarily by the thumbs with a few other fingers.

This is a presale only event. Feel free to email me, or message me on instagram for tickets. Tickets are $25 and include tea service. Seating is very limited.

DJing at Bar 355 on Jan 25th

Playing an all vinyl set at everyone’s favorite bar
Wednesday January 25th, 9pm-1am
at Bar Three-Fifty-Five, 355 19th St, Oakland

Vintage Shopping on Jan 29th

Open Hours - A Boutique Shopping Experience
This month’s featured creative - Bodega No. 3
Saturday January 29th, 12pm - 5pm
hosted at couchdate 300 Jefferson St, Oakland
——————————————————————————————————————

This is our once a month Open Hours. Come shop highly curated vintage furniture, rare books, & vinyl records. There will be wine, beer, & great vibes. For January we will be having Bodega No. 3 pop up with their incredibly curated selection of vintage clothing and accessories.

“Created out of the life long passion for vintage and the belief that it can be accessible to all. Rehoming unique, nostalgic and fabulous pieces from most decades. My hope is that you will fall in love and give these pieces a new life.

Bodega Nº 3 is Vintage for ALL”

SAVE THE DATES FOR FEBRUARY

Feb 11th - Valentine’s Day Tiny Desk Style Performance by Dani Offline

Feb 14th - Valentines Day All 45rpm soul/lowrider/heartbreaker oldies set at Bar 355

Feb 19th - Open Hours Vintage Shopping & Soup Pop Up

Share

couchdate’s annual holiday experience, vinyl dance party, & nighttime market is going to be 1960’s inspired this year. Dress your best, put on your dancing shoes & come celebrate the holidays, the end of the year, and our beautiful community here in Oakland.

The Office Party will feature a few highly curated vendors, an incredible list of all vinyl DJ’s, and so so much love. Join us on Saturday, December 17th from 5pm-10pm.

Subscribe now

Nighttime Market Vendors
—————————————

Unnamed Vintage - Based in Oakland, black woman-owned Unnamed Vintage offers thoughtfully curated vintage home decor

Bodega No. 3 - Based on the belief that everyone should have beautiful cloths, bay area based Bodega No. 3 offers unique, nostalgic, & fabulous clothing from every decade

nickxx - Oakland born & raised nickxx has spent years working at fine dining restaurants to hone his craft. His boutique bar in unlike anything you’ve ever had

Vinyl DJ’s
—————————————

Melanie - Up first will be Indigenous visual artist & jazz record collector Melanie paints the most beautiful & unique sonic landscapes. Catch her weekly radio show on BFF.FM called Transfiguration Radio

Sounds of Paradise - Right hand man at the iconic Groove Merchant Records, Sounds of Paradise has years of collecting the most eclectic, vibey, & sought after records you’ve never heard of

couchdate - Music is a bridge. Your’s truly from couchdate will be connecting us with sounds from all over the world, but with special tribute paid to soul & lowrider anthems from the 60’s

Davey Ultra - There’s only one word you need to know when it comes to Bay Area style icon Davey Ultra - dance, dance, dance!

We’ll see you Saturday December 17th 5pm-10pm at 300 Jefferson St, Oakland.

Share

couchdate was never intentional. I didn’t sit down one day and decide to open a vintage furniture shop • music collective • event space. It’s the culmination of years of research, work, and complete dedication to my passions.

I’ve been fully committed to the things I love. Whether that’s as specific as vintage Japanese speakers or as general as just like, food. I fucking love these things. With my whole heart. And I look into them, and after them, and obsess over them, and find people that have them, and ask a million questions, and drive 2 hours to go pick them up, and spend money I don’t have on them and then maybe after all that I don’t even like them that much.

And that’s ok.

I went for it. I tried, and most importantly, I was open to loving it. I wanted to love it. And love is what will take you to your dreams. Not the plan, or the immediate outcome, or the profit, or the loss. You can’t account for who you’re going to love, or what you’re going to fall in love with doing.

But if you’re open to loving the things around you, and willing to let go of your control, love will find you. Regardless of how small or insignificant things may seem, it all adds up.

December is going to be full of amazing events that I love putting on. Calendar is below, I may add a thing or two!

Subscribe now

Pharaoh Sanders “Promises” • A Vinyl Listening Experience 
Sunday, Dec 4th, 12pm-1:30pm

Still have some tickets left!! Out of all the listening parties I’ve done, this is one of the most significant for me. I will be playing Promises, an album that is a collaboration between jazz legend Pharaoh Sanders, electronic pariah Floating Points, & the London Symphony Orchestra. Of course on vinyl, on the vintage analog high fidelity stereo system at my shop • event space, couchdate.

Jazz icon Pharaoh Sanders was one of the deepest, spiritual, & profound saxophone players to blow the horn. Listening to his albums, I’m taken somewhere so ethereal I often forget that I’m listening to music. Promises is no exception, and though sadly his last album, showed that the 79 year old had truly tapped into the cosmos.

These listening parties are small, intimate events modeled after Japanese Jazz Kissa’s (jazz cafes). While the album is playing we ask that conversation be kept quiet & discrete. Tickets are $35 per person; included with your ticket is our cocktail for the event, as well as a parking spot. Seating is very limited, and tickets are presale only (none available at the door).

The Things We Love, a 4 course dinner & drink pairing
Friday, Dec 9th, 6pm-9pm

Only a few tickets left for the last couchdate dinner of the year! This menu is inspired by the beautiful winter bounty we get here in California, & by classic holiday food. This will be an intimate, 4 course family style dinner with wine pairing. We’ll be playing our favorite records on the analog hi fi system at couchdate, while serving the food & drinks. Tickets are $95 per person, and presale only (none will be available at the door). Please note that there are no substitutions for the menu but we can accommodate certain allergies.

The Office Party - A 1960’s Inspired Holiday Shindig
Saturday, December 17th, 5pm-10pm
300 Jefferson St, Oakland

Save the date!! The annual couchdate very curated holiday nighttime market & vinyl dance party. We will have the beautiful Unnamed Vintage selling her highly curated vintage home goods. FuzznSway will be slanging a sophisticated and eclectic assortment of records & vintage clothing. nickxx on the bar! An incredible list DJ’s spinning vinyl. The vibes are going to be immaculate & 1960’s this year. See you there!

Share

Hello my lovely subscribers!

couchdate is doing 2 ticketed events in December - a vinyl listening party & a dinner. Both will be so special. Before I posted these events on social media I wanted to give ya’ll first dibs on tickets. Feel free to reply to this email, email me, or DM on Instagram if you’re interested. All the information is below 🙂

Subscribe now

Pharaoh Sanders “Promises” • A Vinyl Listening Experience 
Sunday, Dec 4th, 12pm-1:30pm

Out of all the listening parties I’ve done, this is one of the most significant for me. I will be playing Promises, an album that is a collaboration between jazz legend Pharaoh Sanders, electronic pariah Floating Points, & the London Symphony Orchestra. Of course on vinyl, on the vintage analog high fidelity stereo system at my shop • event space, couchdate.

Jazz icon Pharaoh Sanders was one of the deepest, spiritual, & profound saxophone players to blow the horn. Listening to his albums, I’m taken somewhere so ethereal I often forget that I’m listening to music. Promises is no exception, and though sadly his last album, showed that the 79 year old had truly tapped into the cosmos.

These listening parties are small, intimate events modeled after Japanese Jazz Kissa’s (jazz cafes). While the album is playing we ask that conversation be kept quiet & discrete. Tickets are $35 per person; included with your ticket is our cocktail for the event, as well as a parking spot. Seating is very limited, and tickets are presale only (none available at the door).

The Things We Love, a 4 course dinner & drink pairing
Friday, Dec 9th, 6pm-9pm

The last couchdate dinner of the year! This menu is inspired by the beautiful winter bounty we get here in California, & by classic holiday food. This will be an intimate, 4 course family style dinner with wine pairing. We’ll be playing our favorite records on the analog hi fi system at couchdate, while serving the food & drinks. Tickets are $95 per person, and presale only (none will be available at the door). Please note that there are no substitutions for the menu but we can accommodate certain allergies.

Once again, feel free to reply to this email, email me directly, or DM on Instagram if you’re interested. Looking forward to seeing you.

Much love,
Emu

Share

When people ask me about my restaurant career, they usually want to hear things like how I cooked under Top Chef alumnis Lee Anne Wong, or managed Penrose, or worked at every cafe in Hawaii until I found out who and how made the best coffee (Morning Glass Cafe btw). But my cooking story started long before working in restaurants…

My grandmaji would cook 3 meals from scratch every single day. Breakfast was at 7:30am, lunch at 12:30pm, and dinner at 6pm. My dad would come home from work, and I would come home from school so we could all eat lunch together. This is how a Punjabi household worked.

We were a multigenerational home and the adults worked, so grandma (dadaji) and grandpa (dadiji) took care of the house. This included cooking, cleaning, and taking care of me. Because I spoke English and Punjabi, I somehow ended up calling my grandmaji. It really stuck.

As a 5 year old, my grandmaji would have me mixing buckets of flours and kneading dough. She would insist I sit on a stool in the kitchen and watch her roll out chapatis (whole wheat flatbreads) and pound pudina (mint). Whether or not there was someone coming over, I would help her keep a fresh pot of chai on the stove. For my family, cooking wasn’t what you did for dinner, or when guests came over. Cooking was our way of life.

Subscribe now

couchdate calendar for Nov/Dec

Charity Vinyl DJ Set
Sunday Nov 13th, 10:30am - 1pm
2043 San Pablo Ave, Berkeley
————————————————————————————————
I will be playing a dope all vinyl set for the Hort | Culture fundraiser in their new retail space on Sunday. They are a “therapeutic workforce development program supporting 18-24 year old youth overcoming homelessness in the Bay Area. Through our job training internships, youth run a small business selling houseplants, merchandise, an 3D printed pottery. Donations also allow us to provide clipper cards, grocery gift cards, LYFT credits, shift meals, etc for our interns.” Come by and help a good cause!

Pasta Pop-ups at The Punchdown
5pm-sell out, Wednesdays - Nov 16th, Nov 30th, Dec 14th
1737 Broadway, Oakland
————————————————————————————————
We will be doing the homie Matt’s beautiful pasta pop up at The Punchdown every other Wednesday. It’s called Sfizio and we do fresh, handmade pastas & small plates based around California’s bounty. Give him a follow on Instagram if you don’t already! @sfiziopasta

The Things We Love, a 4 Course Dinner with Wine Pairing
Friday, December 9th, 6pm-8pm
300 Jefferson St, Oakland
————————————————————————————————
This will be our last dinner party of the year! These are intimate, 4 course meals with wine pairings. We’ll be playing our favorite records on the hi fi system at couchdate while serving you food & drinks. Tickets are presale only, and of course all you loyal subscribers get first dibs 😎. I’ll send out more details soon!

The Office Party - A 1960’s Inspired Holiday Shindig
Saturday, December 17th, 5pm-10pm
300 Jefferson St, Oakland
————————————————————————————————
The annual couchdate very curated holiday nighttime market & vinyl dance party. I’m getting some fantastic vendors lined up, and the vibes are going to be 1960’s this year. Can’t wait, more details soon!

Share

1,000 of my 6,600 “followers” saw my Instagram story telling them to subscribe. 20 people did.

I think about 25 people came into the shop on Saturday. 20 subscribed. We could spend all day trying to figure that one out, but what I do know is that I am so thankful. Thank you for believing in me, and what we are trying to do. You all get it.

What’s cool is how that’s in different ways. For some, it’s the idea of coming to the listening parties. Unplugging from the day to day to plug into healing vibrations. Others are into designer furniture. Others couldn’t tell you what mid-century modern even means. That’s what I love.

couchdate is for you. It’s in your hands, in real life, and it’s either dope or not. It’s all about your own personal taste & intuition. It’s different for everyone, but somehow the 40 of us have found something we could agree on. And that means something.

In case you missed it in the last post, here is the first Substack playlist. You can click on it to go to Spotify & save to your own playlists. It’s a really nice mix of rare grooves, mostly from Algeria & Brasil. Great for everyday cruising or dinner at home.

Much love,
Emu

We use sound design, interior design, & thoughtful writing to create intimate, impactful moments. Whether it’s at our physical location in Oakland or here on Substack, these moments facilitate strong engagement with our members, while building personal relationships and memories. On Substack you will find:

- our monthly event calendar (underground dinner parties, vinyl listening experiences, etc)

- weekly highlights, thoughtful musings, dope playlists and whatnots

For couchdate membership, please go to out Patreon page

https://patreon.com/couchdate

couchdate membership is $30/month

• provides users with 3 covered events that are hosted by couchdate or within the network (vinyl listening parties, workshops, etc)

• Exclusive access to our ever expanding cafe hours (Mondays + Tuesdays 10am-6pm)

• Early access to tickets

• Members Only events

• Personalized event calendar/notifications for events of interest

Purchase a couchdate membership on Patreon

https://patreon.com/couchdate

- there’s always more in the works!