The impetus was this: There are a couple of neighborhood families where the parents are wonderful and we largely connect around schedules and transit for our kids. These two families are do’ers in the sense that they connect Vi to all sorts of cool adventures in town and otherwise. But more critically, I deeply value that they are families I trust and with whom Violet feels completely comfortable.

What a gift.

At some point, Jon and I realized that while our strength is not in creating all sorts of cool adventures (ha), we are very good at expressing our care through food and an evening with plenty of laughs. I also find a lot of joy in experimenting with recipes. So once we realized that both of these families also love food, it was clear that the way we could show up in a meaningful way was feeding people. This weekend’s menu was so delicious that I thought it warranted a separate thematic recap (instead of adding the items to a general bi-monthly new recipe recap).

Before I get started, an important note. When it comes to nurturing relationships, I do believe in people over parameters and am a fan of — in the words of the lovely — deep casual entertaining. We’ve had plenty of gatherings where it’s takeout or snacks. That said, when I’m in the mood, I love putting on a big spread, which I partially attribute to being Korean — where the culinary style is lots of dishes versus a protein, starch, and vegetable. I also have long been sensitive to varied food preferences so I like to put out options to increase the odds that everyone will find something they enjoy.

For the first gathering with this crew, I made a big Korean spread. This past weekend, I decided to do Mediterranean. Here’s how the menu played out. And it was actually not difficult to execute. I prepped the moussaka the night before and prepped everything else in about 3 hours on Saturday morning — plenty of time to meet a high school friend for an early lunch!

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Protein #1: Moussaka

I have this thing about proteins. I feel better having two, especially since some people have aversions to, or dietary changes around, certain proteins. The first entree I made was the moussaka from Nick Stellino’s Mediterranean Flavors. I have had this cookbook for ages and everything in it is delicious. I prepped this dish entirely (save baking) on Friday night because it’s not hard, but it’s a lot of steps (e.g., frying potatoes, roasting eggplant, cooking beef, making bechamel). It’s also totally worth it — absolutely delicious. One of our friends said they don’t even like eggplant but they loved this eggplant.

Note: I considered instead making this shortcut moussaka, but the recipe looked nearly as involved so I figured why not just make the real thing.

Protein #2: Chicken shawarma

The second protein was an oven-roasted chicken shawarma. I have a fantastic Greek chicken recipe that we love, but it involves standing over the stove and I wanted to be free of that by going with a baked option. This shawarma is easy to make and insanely delicious. I doubled the recipe onto two trays and even so, the leftovers were gone by Monday morning. There’s a wonderful warmth and richness to the seasoning blend. What a winner!

Side #1: Chick pea salad

Since it was 90+ degrees, instead of rice I wanted to make a substantial salad. I make a chick pea salad that is similar to this recipe but I also toss in about two cups of halved grape tomatoes and sprinkle some parsley on top when I have it on hand fresh. Everyone loved it.

Side #2: Roasted cauliflower and Brussels

I had a head of cauliflower and a bag of Brussels sprouts in my fridge so I doubled the seasoning recipe in this best roasted cauliflower recipe and the result was delicious!

Dip #1: Muhammara

I often avoid making things with hidden nuts in them due to a household food allergy, but I could not resist this muhammara recipe given that: 1) the recipe is by renowned Boston chef Ana Sortun, 2) I love walnuts, 3) I had a jar of roasted red peppers in my pantry that I wanted to put to use. This dip is INSANE. Easy to knock together and delicious. (And I made clear to everyone that it had nuts.)

One sweet detail is that for this dip I was able to incorporate the walking onions (basically, giant scallions) that one of our guests had shared with us from their garden plot. So lovely! And one initial nuisance that ended up being a fascinating experiment was that I couldn’t find pomegranate molasses anywhere, so I bought a bottle of pomegranate juice and made pomegranate molasses from scratch. Not difficult, especially since I was just buzzing around the kitchen anyway. Look at how beautiful it looks pooled on top!

Dip #2: Hummus

Yumna Jawad’s hummus is my go-to. When I first made this recipe a year or two ago I was like, seriously, I need to shell the chick peas? YES, YOU NEED TO SHELL THE CHICKPEAS. It changes the texture entirely and this hummus is leagues above store bought. Our friends raved about it and also there was a lot of commentary about me shelling chick peas at 7am as a result.

Dip #3: Toum

I also tried making toum for the first time. It’s a Lebanese garlic sauce that is conceptually a lot like mayonnaise but OMG it is so much better than mayonnaise. Easy to make if you have a Cuisinart. I originally decided to make the toum because it is supposed to pair well with shawarma but it tasted amazing on everything.

Extras

• I was going to make and serve pink pickled turnips and bought the supplies for it, but I didn’t read the directions carefully and these need to sit for 5 days in the fridge. After I finished all of my food prep, I made them so I wouldn’t waste the turnips — I can’t wait to try them on Thursday! Meanwhile, I brought out a jar each of the treasured pickles and gingery beets I make and can every summer. People went nuts over the beets especially.

• In case you are wondering, I do have my limits. I bought grilled olives from Trader Joe’s and dolmas and fresh pita from a local Mediterranean bakery/cafe to round out the meal. Our friends were lovely and brought beverages, desserts, and appetizers.

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The life changing magic of check boxes

Sometimes I do my menu planning in Todoist, but in this case I decided I needed an old-fashioned planning grid so I could track what I prepped and not forget to bring it out. It was barely legible but super useful.

I hope you enjoy the recipes!

• When Jon and I first got a cell phone circa 2001, we shared it. As in, “Hey babe, do you want to take The Phone with you or should I?”

• Around 2003, when I started my postdoctoral fellowship, I started using a Blackberry. It felt legit, but it was laughable in terms of functionality. It took about 5 clicks to send a text message. With this friction, I ignored sending and reading texts entirely.

• Before Laurel was born in 2004, we bought our first digital camera. Having grown up with a lifetime of film, dating back to my first 110 camera in middle school, the experience of being able to shoot with wild abandon was shocking.

• And then of course at some point we got smartphones and now all moments are captured via phone.

I view my phone as a dynamic tool. It helps me do a lot of things. But it also can be a source of doom and distraction. I thought it would be helpful to share the digital boundaries that make my life better.

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1. No tech first thing in the morning

I usually get up at 6am and have about 10 to 15 minutes to myself before the rest of my crew rouses. I start the coffee brewing, drink a big glass of warm water, then ideally I sit down and read for at least 10 minutes to start my day. I was on a tremendous run with great books, so this was an easy habit to maintain. Recently my book stack has included more misses than hits, so I have instead embraced the calming (for me) act of cleaning up the sink while I wait for my coffee to brew. That brief, slower entry into the day is critical because my work days have been packed full for the last several months.

2. No Slack on my phone

After a couple of years off of Slack, I needed to return to Slack at the start of the year for a couple of projects. I had serious Slack PTSD from my previous usage and was dreading it. Though I am happily over that hump and now appreciate the utility of the platform, one boundary I have set is to not install Slack on my phone. This creates a good boundary for work responsiveness for me.

3. Almost all of my app notifications are off

Many years ago I wanted to create responsiveness friction so I toggled almost all of my app notifications (e.g., email, social) off. The main notification I care about is text since that is the primary way Jon and the girls and I communicate when apart. Otherwise, I am grateful to not be so important that getting in touch with me is a life or death situation!

4. My phone is on silent 99.5% of the time

This may surprise you, but my phone is almost always on silent. I only turn the sound on if I’m expecting a scheduled call. Even though my notifications are minimal, I still don’t want my phone beeping or buzzing with every text message that comes in because it creates too much distraction. I love having my phone on silent. The only time I get in trouble with this is when my Mom tries to call me, and usually it’s because she’s stopping by to drop off kimchi or something else unexpectedly.

5. My phone lives downstairs while I’m sleeping

Sleeping with your phone next to you is terrible for you. Just stop doing it. There is the occasional necessary exception — for example, if you need to be available for a possible sleepover extraction — but otherwise, use a regular clock if you need an alarm.

Incidentally, I drafted this post before Laurel’s graduation and I loved that Fordham Commencement speaker Hoda Kotb also urged people to get an old fashioned alarm clock and not sleep with your phone by your bed. She said, “Let the world in when you’re ready.”

I couldn’t agree more.

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A quick side note

If you read this newsletter regularly, you know I love diving into the deeper stories behind how we live and work. Over the years, I’ve spent a lot of time in rooms with senior leaders, founders, and communications leads who face a very specific, exhausting challenge: being the person responsible for making something incredibly complicated sound clear and true.

Executive communications isn’t just a corporate brand exercise. It’s challenging, real-time work — like walking into a difficult meeting and figuring out how to hold the room.

In addition to my major website overhaul, I just launched a new Substack dedicated entirely to this space: . I published the Welcome post yesterday, laying out exactly what I am going to tackle. If your job requires you to cut through the noise and lead with clarity, I’d love to have you over there.

Two thoughts have stayed with me — first from her Commencement, and then from celebrating our dear family friend Lucy’s graduation last weekend. First, I’m grateful both graduation speakers normalized not having a plan — non-linear paths are to be expected. Second, I feel deep empathy for any college graduate currently on the receiving end of platitudes such as, “Trust the process” or “Believe in your dreams.” Or worse: “You must be so stressed. The job market is a disaster right now.”

Adults: READ THE ROOM.

I do believe in trusting the process. I do believe in dreams. And yes, the job market is hard. But I also know how hollow those sentiments land when you’re standing in uncertainty.

I know because I was literally in that place two weeks ago.

My professional journey since leaving academia has been anything but linear. Over the past few months I’ve been investing serious energy into my strategic advisory work — finally, with the support of a business team, formalizing how I work with mission-driven leaders. And two weeks ago, I freaked out. I literally said out loud: “I know I’m supposed to trust the process and I believe in what I’m doing and I AM FREAKING OUT.”

I moved through it quickly. But the fact that it happened sandwiched between two graduation celebrations was not lost on me. Transitions stir things up — for everyone, at every stage. Which is why I want to offer graduates something more useful than a platitude or a deflating comment about the job market. No matter how successful, confident, or put-together a person appears, struggles are normal. Learning to move through struggles is itself a critical life skill.

Life gives us plenty of chances to practice. Here are 10 pieces of hard-won practical advice.

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1. If you’re freaking out, say so

I tend to hold my worries close. I’m working on that. The act of telling my team I was spiraling flipped a switch — I instantly felt lighter because I was no longer carrying it alone. Talk to someone: a friend, a mentor, a therapist. Someone who can hold that space and just listen.

2. Do something nutritive

One of the hardest things about graduation is that it’s an enormous surge of intensity and emotion — and then, boom, it’s over. If you don’t have a plan in place (totally normal), the quiet that follows can feel disorienting, and the pressure of “what’s next” moves to the front burner fast. Create space for something that restores you. I gave our family friend Lucy a wellness treatment as a graduation gift (after confirming with her mom that she would enjoy that sort of thing) for exactly that reason. After my own freakout, I spent eight hours that weekend gardening. Thank you, nature therapy.

3. Identify one tangible action

There is never a shortage of things you could be doing. “Get a job” is not an action item — it’s a novel. This is why I am so committed to micro goals and actions. Break things down. Identify one concrete step to take next.

For me, the thing that was most stuck in my mind amidst my freakout — and that felt like everything else depended on it — was my website, which had not been updated since I had bangs. Classic cobbler’s children situation. Rebuilding a website is a big lift, but it was actually the right tangible action for me because I’ve built many. The Saturday after my freakout I decided to burn the whole thing to the ground and it was liberating.

4. Embrace temporary solutions

Stalling out while waiting for the perfect solution is one of the most common traps I see. Give yourself the gift of time. Take the pressure off.

After I graduated from college, I needed research experience to reapply to Ph.D. programs — but those jobs are hard to find and subject to grant cycles. So I reactivated with a temp agency and figured I’d do clerical work until something opened up. For housing, I found a summer sublet to buy time on the longer-term apartment question. I can’t make any promises, but that sublet happened to be where I met my future husband.

More recently, when I burned my website down, I knew there was no way I could finish the whole thing that night — I was completely redesigning it and the copy needed a total overhaul. So I gave myself permission to just finish the landing page. I was pumped when it was done. And as it turned out, I got so excited by how it looked that I built the rest of the site within a week. None of that would have happened if I hadn’t let myself start with a temporary fix.

5. Every job is a job worth having

I’m going to say something direct: narratives such as, “That job is beneath me” or “I’ll only be satisfied with the perfect job” are complete bullshit. Might you be overqualified for a particular role? Sure. But every job matters and every job teaches you something.

A few notes from my own history:

• Scooping ice cream at Rancatore’s was one of the best jobs I’ve ever had. It was fun and creative (my love of decorating cakes was born there), and it was where I first saw what a respectful, competent boss looked like. I worked that job through the end of high school and all through college summers.

• Temp agencies got me through college and the stretch right after — connecting me to office work when I needed steady hours. Once I established myself as a reliable temp, it became genuinely mutual: they were as motivated to place me for an entire summer as I was to be placed.

• As I was finishing my Master’s degree and research job at Brandeis, I realized I didn’t have enough money saved for my apartment deposit and moving truck for my PhD program in Canada. I walked into a restaurant (the former Marino’s in North Cambridge), told them I had zero waitressing experience, was a fast study, and would take any shift they offered. I came away with a deep appreciation for the restaurant economy. I am convinced that if everyone spent time in this industry, we would be a kinder society.

• After I finished my Ph.D., I was waiting to hear about a postdoctoral fellowship from the NIH. I saw a help wanted sign at Paper Source in Cambridge. I handed them my curriculum vitae (LOL) and asked for a job. The manager — reasonably — said, “Why on earth do you want to work here? You have a Ph.D.” She took a chance on me anyway, and that job became the catalyst to a whole new kind of creativity. I did win the NIH grant. And after I finished it, I left academia for more creative pastures — including starting a graphic design business.

And in my current career, even when I left agency life in 2022 and struck out on my own as a communications expert, what kept me grounded was the belief that I was willing to work anywhere.

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6. Be useful to others

Even when you’re in a freakout about your own next steps, be useful to people around you. It’s a relationship builder, and the world needs more good karma. Volunteer somewhere you care about. Help a neighbor. Offer a skill.

I recently got on a call thinking it was a business development conversation. It turned out to be someone trying to understand the landscape for a campaign they were building. I didn’t mind one bit — they were great, and it felt genuinely good to be useful. Because we connected so warmly, I have zero doubt I’m in their mental Rolodex. Relationships first.

7. Talk to your alumni office

Your college is going to be very invested in you as a future donor — that’s just the reality. But beyond that, alumni networks can be remarkable. At my alma mater, Wheaton College, alum-sponsored opportunities helped me figure out what I didn’t want — which is equally valuable. I shadowed an alum at a law firm: not for me. I was part of Wheaton’s first White House intern class, made possible because an alum offered free housing: incredible experience, confirmed I didn’t want to be in politics. If you have a direction in mind, ask your alumni office who they can connect you with. So many alums are willing to offer shadowing, informational calls, and more.

8. Reframe “networking”

A lot of people feel gross about the word. I get it. I was once at an event with my husband and he pointed out — as an outsider in my field — what he could see plainly: people angling toward me to ask for something. That behavior doesn’t bother me, but it’s not who I want to be either.

Instead: go in curious, not transactional. If someone’s work interests you, don’t cold-contact them asking for a job. Ask if they’d be willing to spend 20 minutes telling you about their path. That’s a completely different conversation.

9. Follow your gut about LinkedIn

Many people will immediately tell a new grad to get on LinkedIn. I’m not one of them. The platform has real value, but it can also be a significant source of anxiety, and I’m not convinced it’s the most efficient path for job applications. If you’re excited about it, go for it. If it fills you with dread, focus on other actions first and come back to consider it later.

10. If someone offers help, take it

Asking for help is hard, even when someone else opens the door. But if the offer makes sense, accept it.

Last weekend at Trader Joe’s, I mentioned to my cashier that I was buying a mountain of Greek yogurt because my college grad just got home. Turns out, he is a student at Wheaton — my alma mater. I gave him my name and told him he could look me up if he ever wanted to talk. Since I’m terrible with names on the fly, I also mentioned that if he forgets my name, no worries. I’m in TJ’s nearly every week, so if he spots me, flag me down. I hope he takes me up on it!

I have more thoughts about connecting to your values, staying curious, and the longer game — but I’ll stop here. I’m rooting for all the grads out there.

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P.S. If you’re interested in hearing more about my non-linear trajectory, see my new detailed About page, or you can hear me in conversation with in this recent podcast episode.

P.P.S. Yesterday I recorded a fantastic conversation with about navigating personal and professional setbacks. Subscribe to so you don’t miss when the episode drops next month.

Meanwhile, the theme of many of the recipes I tried in April and May is busting old ruts — finding different ways to prepare proteins and vegetables. I hope this roundup sparks some cooking inspiration for you!

1. Spring Tofu Soup

This Spring Tofu Soup is tasty and couldn’t be easier to prepare. It’s a good dish if you are a veggie lover and would be a great sick day comfort soup. The peas and asparagus feel so spring-like and the jalapeno adds a really lovely rich heat. I didn’t have fresh jalapeno so I used Trader Joe’s jarred and it worked great. I also like that this recipe makes a reasonable amount of soup, not a giant pot (you only need one box of broth), which is better for when Jon and I are the only adults around. Vi’s palette has expanded a lot but she is not a fan of mushrooms!

⭐2. Greek Chicken

O.M.G. My family went bananas the first time I made this Greek Chicken recipe. It is so satisfying and easy and I have made it at least 8 times since first trying it in April. While you do need to think ahead to give the chicken an hour to marinate, the marinade is easy and consists of basic pantry staples. I think the real winning factor in this marinade is the abundance of lemon — both juice and zest adds wonderful brightness. The first time I made it was on a Saturday night. The chicken was gone by lunch the next day and my family asked if I could make it again. Making the same recipe back to back days might be a new record!

⭐3. Creamy Coconut Sheet Cake

I have largely been off sugar (it is my worst inflammation trigger) the past few months, but when I saw this Creamy Coconut Sheet Cake in a King Arthur email I groaned out loud because I love coconut so much. When Vi peeked over to see what the fuss was about, she was like, “CAN YOU PLEASE MAKE THIS?” so I made this cake for Easter. It is EXCELLENT. It smelled amazing through prep and bake and tasted fantastic too. Though I do love making layer cakes, a 9” x 13” sheet cake is a lovely size to enjoy and share.

4. Miso Salmon

I love salmon but tend to just season it with salt and pepper. I wanted to shake it up with a different flavor and this Miso Salmon recipe couldn’t be easier.

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⭐5. Broccoli and White Bean Caesar

WOW, this dish. Laurel sent me this Broccoli and White Bean Caesar recipe (we often trade recipe ideas back and forth). It met me at the right time because though I like broccoli, I have been a bit uninspired in preparing it. It turns out I just needed more flavor! This “salad” is basically Caesar but with broccoli instead of romaine, and with a panzanella twist. The genius addition of beans makes it satisfying as a meal. The concept is simple: dress then roast the broccoli and baguette, make a dressing and mash in half the beans, then toss all the finished pieces together. So lemony and fresh and delicious. It’s best eaten fresh given that there is toasted bread in it and it tastes so good with the warm broccoli.

6. Magic Broccoli

Apparently May was my month that was all about broccoli. I know it is really good for me and wanted to lean in so I bought a 3 pound bag of broccoli at Costco to move me to do something with it. This Magic Broccoli recipe is super easy and delicious and further solidified my belief that fresh lemon makes everything better. It adds a lovely level of brightness and flavor to this dish. I ate a huge bowlful (the equivalent of a half pound of broccoli LOL) in one sitting!

7. Sheet-Pan Scallion Shrimp With Crispy Rice

I made this Sheet-Pan Scallion Shrimp With Crispy Rice as part of a mostly Korean spread. I have never made crispy rice in a pan so it was fun to learn this technique. That said, I think the flavors could stand to be stronger and generally speaking, I’m someone who prefers less rice. This was good inspiration for the future, though, because I’m thinking that I will dupe this approach when we have a bunch of leftover rice and want to give it new life in a fun way.

8. Crispy Tofu Tacos

OK, so I half made this Crispy Tofu Tacos recipe. I make tacos a lot so I didn’t need the full blown assembly recommendations, but what drew me to this recipe was learning a different way to season tofu. I made this recipe not long after the sheet-pan shrimp and rice so I decided to follow my gut regarding seasoning. I looked at the seasoning ratios and it definitely felt like there was not enough spice for two whole blocks of tofu — which even when drained have a lot of water still in them. I doubled the spice, oil, and soy sauce and the roasted tofu crumble was delicious!

If you’ve tried any great recipes lately, I would love to hear about them!

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Why? Because these moments were reflective of the humanity and care that can exist in times where your brain (OK, my brain) might otherwise be consumed by logistics. Here are 22 of those in-between moments.

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1. On Thursday I was stressed out all day about our rental car pickup. When I originally booked our minivan, I did so for Friday morning, then learned there was a special honors ceremony at 1pm that day. There was no availability online when I tried to edit the reservation, so I called our Enterprise location to ask if I could pick up our minivan Thursday night and they said it was no problem. I was elated! That said, my digital reservation did not update accordingly and my experience with rentals has not always been amazing. It turned out that close friends who were doing the graduation hustle also needed to change their reservation to the same time and we joked about seeing one another at Enterprise. My friend got there before me and texted to tell me he confirmed our minivan was there. Later, he said that he asked because if there was only one minivan left he was going to ask them to hold it for me and take another vehicle. I wanted to weep over that kindness and I was so glad we both got our minivans to move our kids out of college!

2. Our dog sitter was incredibly gracious and flexible about our fluctuating departure and return times.

3. Because the rental car and dog sitter timing worked out, we were out the door by 7am on Friday and made it to New York in plenty of time for the ceremony. About 5 seconds after we stepped onto campus I saw one of the student EMTs I met briefly at EMT prom. I said hi to her by name and she looked vaguely confused and then I identified myself as Laurel’s mom. Minutes later, Laurel texted us a photo that this person took of me, Jon, and Violet from the back, telling Laurel that her family was on its way. So sweet.

4. Since we made it to campus earlier than anticipated we caught the tail end of the honors three-minute thesis presentations and saw two of Laurel’s closest friends present. To see these awesome young women poised, confident, and completely in command of their peptide and chronic cocaine exposure research was awesome. Hooray for women in science!

5. At the honors ceremony we heard one of Laurel’s friends deliver a beautiful valedictorian address that was deeply rooted in caring for one another.

6. Seeing Laurel embraced by so many students, faculty, and staff with love and care was everything. Fordham was such an unknown to us when Laurel matriculated and it has been an incredible environment for her.

7. Seeing Laurel and Violet hold hands every time we walked around made my heart ache in a good way.

8. There were so many big things happening this weekend, so seeing the childlike excitement about Peachwave frozen yogurt was truly delightful. We took the girls twice in two days LOL.

9. We took a final (at least for this chapter) walk down Arthur Ave. to get my beloved Cerini’s coffee. I fell in love with Cerini’s when we first visited Fordham for accepted students day and Laurel has made a point of bringing me Cerini’s coffee every time she has come home from NY.

10. Laurel had an incredible apartment situation with three other women this year, with two other BFFs in close proximity. They decided to host a Friday afternoon gathering at their apartment so all the families could meet. It was crowded and noisy and overstimulating and completely wonderful to meet everyone and tell them how much we appreciate their kids.

11. I booked lodging north of campus and as a big fan of transit systems, I loved riding the Metro North to graduation. It was awesome to see soon-to-be grads and family members pouring out of the Fordham station Saturday morning.

12. As was to be expected, the procession alone was long. Miraculously, we spotted Laurel and called out to her and she actually heard us. Jon snapped the most amazing “Where’s Waldo?” photo of her waving to us amidst a sea of humans.

13. The way Jon, Vi, and I all took care of one another as we baked in the sun and heat during Commencement was something. We were out there for a solid 5 hours, during which time I went into what Jon described as ninja energy conservation mode, which was 100% because I didn’t want to risk leaving and missing Laurel cross the stage (even when it was clear that there was plenty of time). We retreated into the shade after we saw Laurel and her closest friends walk the stage. Vi was an unbelievable trooper and did not complain one bit.

14. One reason we were able to withstand the conditions was that Laurel packed us all lunch boxes to bring to Commencement. She worked the past couple of Commencements as part of the EMT service, so she knew how long it would go and that food options would be limited. I was so touched by this gesture — as were the people around us! Lunch was incredible.

15. We brought our lunch in a cooler bag with a couple of ice bricks and at one point I looked up from under the shade of my Commencement program — that program freaking saved me! — and a man in front of me had one of our cooler packs on top of his head. Apparently Jon was sharing them around for those who needed relief. I loved that so much.

16. Seeing the girls embrace after graduation filled my heart. It made me think of their teary parting embrace when we dropped Laurel off freshman year. This time it was all joy.

17. Getting back to our lodging after graduation and collapsing into a fit of joyful relief and exhaustion, then enjoying a lovely dinner out together was wonderful.

18. On Sunday morning our crew was incredible. We bounced from our lodging at 7:30am (earlier than expected), got to Laurel’s apartment by 7:45am, and packed the car in a half hour. I have to hand it to Laurel, she crushed the packing situation. No open topped boxes and everything was ready when we got there. That was a serious gift to us.

19. Just before we left, Laurel did a sweep of the kitchen to see if she could send us with dry goods so they didn’t go to waste. As someone who is obsessive about food management and not wasting, I appreciated this move!

20. We pulled out of the Bronx at 8:15am and our last trip for this phase of Laurel’s life ended up being our fastest on record: 3 hours, 10 minutes. Unreal. And much appreciated after sitting in a lot of stop and go traffic on the way down.

21. When we were about 30 minutes from home, Jon pulled a total Christine Koh and asked whether we should try to speed empty the rental and get to Enterprise before it closed at noon. Dropping the car off after hours was of course a possibility but he knows how I roll and knew I would rather drop it off where it could be checked in immediately if possible. It was going to be tight because we also had to gas up the car. We arrived at Enterprise right at closing and the staff was easy going and were happy to check us in. I am Team Enterprise for life after this past weekend!

22. Because I don’t like to drink coffee in transit, Jon made me an iced latte with my Cereni’s espresso as soon as we got home from our car rental return victory. I nearly wept with joy and relief. We had done it!

It occurs to me I didn’t cry at all this weekend. In the past, I might have attributed that to me tamping down my feelings as an emotional robot. But I have a feeling that in my present reality, I am continually surrounded by such an incredible amount of love and care that I can feel the feelings in the moment. And this past weekend, I could simply soak in the pomp and circumstance, and the many in-between moments of humanity.

What a gift it all was.

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And while I’m typically meh about manufactured holidays, knowing that this past Sunday was Mother’s Day did bring about further awareness to cultivate my day — to not do anything that felt dreaded or obligatory. Today I’m sharing what felt lovely — it’s a classic Christine Koh blend of finding delight in relaxing and also getting a few satisfying things done. I hope this fuels some ideas for how to craft a day that’s aligned with your interests and delights!

Before I get started, it’s worth noting that I told my family I didn’t need any kind of fanfare or outing because that’s genuinely how I roll, and also because they give me plenty on the regular. I know I am tremendously lucky in this respect!

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1. Jon made me a delicious coffee

I appreciate acts of service so much and I looooove having a warm beverage delivered to me. I started the day with a delicious coffee made by Jon, enjoyed on the couch while in my jammies under a blanket.

2. I started a new book

I have been on an incredible book run (I might do a midyear roundup of my favorites because wow, so many good ones!) and started a new book while sipping my coffee. The best.

3. I texted some moms

I took a few minutes to text some Mother’s Day well wishes. The women in my orbit are amazing.

4. I did a 30-minute stretch sequence

As I mentioned, work has been a bit intense (in good ways) lately and my body has been tired. I can’t remember the last time I did a deep stretch sequence and I was extra sore on Sunday since I went to a row/strength class on Saturday. I wanted to try something new so I searched on YouTube for a 30-minute full body stretch and this one was great. I actually started groaning loudly when I got to the adductor stretches! Added bonus: there are two dogs in the video.

5. Vi made me a killer tortilla omelet

Vi makes an incredible tortilla omelet that includes edges of crispy cheese and all of my favorite ingredients. I have intentionally not crept behind her at the stove because I never want to know how she puts it together! She made me one for brunch and it was spectacular.

6. I did some mom-related gift ideation

I recently needed to do something I haven’t done in a while: I bought a suite of gifts for a new mom. I have another new mom to gift and don’t want to replicate what I just did (because the gift recipients are sisters LOL), so I ideated on another lovely, useful trio of gifts. I also did some flower delivery research for another mom friend.

7. I exfoliated and lotioned myself head to toe

I only ever do this on Sundays (in tandem with my weekly hair washing) but occasionally I miss a week so it felt great to do it!

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8. I started to assemble donation items

I have been wanting to assemble and donate clothing, books, etc., for some time now. I started the process in my closet with the ultimate gift to myself — getting rid of jeans that no longer fit me. Liberate yourself, people!

9. I called my Mom

What a bright spirit my Mom is. I thanked her for sticking with it to birth me (I am the 6th of 7 kids), and then we talked about all sorts of other things including the fact that for her church lunch, the men did all the cooking, serving, and cleanup. This is a significant Korean patriarchy reversal move, even if just for an afternoon. I was impressed!

10. I got dirty

Jon was working on something in our tiny backyard and when I poked my head outside, I was stunned by how gorgeous it was out. I immediately changed my clothes, tossed on gloves, and weeded two areas for native pollinator planting I’m planning on later this month. So satisfying.

11. I vacuumed my office

Not a sexy task, but Jon recently bought a new rug for my office and there’s been a lot of preliminary pilling. It took one minute to vacuum and it felt great!

12. I made potato soup for Vi (while having a “make it work” kitchen moment)

Earlier in the weekend Vi asked if I could make a potato soup recipe I developed (after trying a version at a restaurant that was outstanding). I didn’t have all of the specific ingredients (e.g., apple cider, bacon) in my recipe so it was a fun “make it work” exercise to make do with what I had. And I think the version I made on Sunday was an improvement on the original!

13. I took a brief walk down memory lane

I’m in a phase of awe watching my kids grow and be the awesome humans they are. Vi is having an amazing first year of high school — she just seems so comfortable and has lovely friends. Laurel is graduating from college this coming weekend. It’s hard not to think of them as tiny babies in these big moments and I was reminded of this collage I put together nearly 10 years ago. The impetus being that — in the face of continued “Are you the nanny?” questions — I wanted to view a side by side of me (left) with Laurel (top right) and Violet (bottom left).

I also love this picture, taken the day Vi was born.

Here’s to more days that feel like Sunday!

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Is it too Pollyanna to think that political and cultural dumpster fires help heighten our ability to notice and appreciate the good?

Maybe, but I’m rolling with it.

I thought it would be fun to take a stroll through my April camera roll and share what feel like little miracles. If this sparks good feelings for you, I encourage you to follow suit — counter the doom scrolling with camera roll joy scrolling!

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1. Six days after starting allium and calendula seeds indoors, I saw the first calendula sprout emerge! This is my first time trying indoor seeding so I was prepared for complete failure. What a moment of delight this was!

2. Violet and I successfully dyed a garment together! I also expected this to not work given internet reports that dyeing synthetics is hard, but it worked out beautifully.

3. I always feel happiest when my whole crew is home and we were together for Easter and I made this glorious coconut cake. I haven’t been baking much these days so it was wonderful to try a new recipe.

4. I enjoyed a long overdue lunch with my Mom. She is the best (and the cutest).

5. I met up with friends at the end of a busy week and delighted in clam chowder and lobster tacos from a food truck.

6. My heart felt very full seeing Violet and her friends looking happy and radiant for freshman formal. (I don’t share identifying photos of minors, so no photo on this one.)

7. James continues to deliver the joy on the daily. I love his big leathery nose. (I have SO MANY pictures of him!)

8. It was amazing to see Violet and her peers on stage in a production of “13.” The ease and joy with which these kids perform is a total mood boost. (Again, see earlier note about not sharing pictures of minors so no photo here.)

9. I picked up a killer library hold stack. Libraries are the best.

10. Most nights, Jon makes me his special hot cocoa. I never take for granted when a warm, lovely beverage is given to me.

11. Laurel welcomed me to New York with flowers, coffee, and bubbles.

12. I attended EMT prom, it was fabulous, and OMG Laurel and I were the last ones out of the building! (I can’t remember the last time I have been up until 1:30am.)

13. Laurel and I started a glorious day in Manhattan with a walk through Central Park’s spectacular Conservatory Garden.

14. I saw The Book of Mormon with Laurel, my sister Steph, and my brother-in-law Peter. It was amazing — raunchy, irreverent, and on point. And hey, there were two Mormon elders in the front row and they were in the autograph line after so they seemed to enjoy it! (When I first spotted them, I thought they were actors who were part of the show.)

15. I had a lychee martini for the first time. It was delish.

16. Laurel and I always eat well when we’re together. Our first omakase experience was wonderful. I’m not sure why it was important for us to eat this course off of our fists but we rolled with it! Here, the chef is spraying edible gold dust.

17. During April vacation, Violet made fresh pasta and it was spectacular.

18. Violet also made me her famous egg tortilla omelet. I have said many times I am curious about how she makes it but I also do not want to know how she makes it so I can keep being overwhelmed with food joy.

19. More calendula sprouts emerged and I put them in the ground this past weekend.

20. The iris bulbs my friend gifted me last year are coming up! This is a big deal because it was so hot and dry last summer so I was not sure they would survive. The peony bulbs Morra gave me also are starting to show their preliminary shoots! Sharing seeds and bulbs is such a magical, meaningful gift.

21. I enjoyed lunch out with Jon and had a tasty crispy chicken sandwich.

22. The professional photos from EMT prom came out and this is the last photo in the album LOL. (Though this is a professional photo, I downloaded it so it officially shows in my camera roll!)

23. I wore a sweater with a giant sheep on it.

There are many other wonderful things that happened in April — advances in work, connections with friends, books read, etc., that are not in my camera roll. But putting together this post was a good reminder of how powerful it can be to snap photos then reflect back on them. Life feels pretty abundant right now and I am grateful.

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My first and only adolescent prom was junior year of high school. It was complicated.

In 1990, it wasn’t easy being an other in a predominantly white community. I was interested in boys, but largely, boys only wanted to make out with me in secret. I have no idea whether anyone considered asking me to junior prom but it definitely didn’t happen, so I took matters into my own hands. I asked someone I barely knew from competitive orchestra (lol) and he said yes.

I couldn’t afford a prom dress. For some reason, my Mom had a purple and black party dress someone had sent from Korea, so I wore that.

The evening was fine, but because the trappings around it were so stressful, senior prom felt like an exhausting endeavor before it even started. I spun it to my classmates as, “Yeah, I just don’t feel like going this year.”

And so, what a contrast it was to attend what I referred to as “EMT Prom” — a yearly gala that Laurel was in charge of coordinating as director of the campus emergency medical service — this past Friday night. It was a gift to attend, and to pop onto campus with space to observe and just be present, especially knowing that when I return in a month for graduation, it will be far more chaotic. Some thoughts — especially important to share now, for those with kids approaching decision day:

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The importance of place

Now that we’re very close to graduation, I feel comfortable disclosing that Laurel attends Fordham University in the Bronx. I didn’t know much about Fordham before she applied — other than that they offered merit aid, a key parameter in the college search — and when we visited for accepted students day, my heart skipped a beat when she said out loud, “I can see myself being happy here.” The pressures of the college application process are a nightmare, and that was the litmus test that mattered most to me.

During that visit, our tour guide asked what Laurel was interested in so she could customize the tour. Laurel mentioned she was planning on pre-med. The guide added a stop at the campus EMS service, and that moment turned out to be pivotal to Laurel’s entire college experience.

The marvel of growth

When Laurel was building her college list, her priorities were a city environment, a diverse community, and a strong science program. There were so many moments this weekend — watching her address a room of 150 people, seeing her move easily among peers and campus staff, witnessing her comfort navigating transit and logistics during our day in Manhattan — where I marveled at how much she has grown in four years. It wasn’t always easy, and as a parent there were some painful moments of letting go and trusting in the process. The life skills Laurel has built are extraordinary, and it feels so good to have complete confidence in her ability to graduate and step into the next phase.

The joy of saying thank you

I am a big believer in giving people their flowers. I think this has roots in being voted “Unsung Hero” in high school, which honestly annoyed me — being acknowledged as the person who gets things done in an underappreciated way feels kind of ick. So, I make a point of issuing flowers where they’re due. At the prom, I loved being able to thank people face to face — university health staff, public safety, transportation — all of whom Laurel has worked with extensively and who are foundational to the EMS team’s success.

This next generation gives me so much hope

Being among scores of undergrads and recent alums was truly moving. Sure, it was fun to get dressed up and enjoy a night out — but these students are united by common purpose in an entirely volunteer organization that demands real dedication. I couldn’t begin to estimate the hours Laurel has poured into training, teaching, coordinating educational excursions, on-call shifts, admin duties, navigating snafus, and meetings with campus staff.

Laurel’s friends are incredible. I was also so moved that the student elected to take over as director reached out to me in advance of the event to share their plans to present Laurel with engraved stethoscopes — marking her role as outgoing director and her future role as a doctor — and asked if I would be part of the presentation. While I don’t want to put too much pressure on the next generation to clean up this dumpster fire, I can say it is a joy and an honor to witness the way they show up. Thanks for giving me hope, young people. You are freaking amazing.

My parenting North Star

Laurel is very clear — to pretty much anyone who will listen — about how much she loves me. It was funny, actually: she had asked me to be her plus one to EMT prom her freshman year, and even though the date had been on my calendar for some time, as it got closer I kept giving her outs to invite someone else. She was having none of it. At every turn she has said something like, “MOM, ABSOLUTELY NOT. THIS HAS BEEN MY DREAM FOR FOUR YEARS.”

Over the weekend, she shared that she knows not everyone’s family relationships feel this solid, and asked what we did to make that happen. There are so many factors of course, but here is my parenting North Star, which I shared with her:

I believe that the best thing we can do as parents is set aside our own baggage and bullshit and offer our kids unconditional support and love — across the low moments and the high ones. I told Laurel that it has always been important to me to communicate through my actions that I have her and Violet’s backs no matter what, and that I love them for who they are — not some vision of who they “should” be or based on their achievements. This has felt especially important to reinforce with Laurel, who is by nature highly driven and achievement-oriented. She has worked incredibly hard and now faces remarkable options for medical school. I’ve told her repeatedly that what she is doing is amazing, and that if she ever changes course, I trust it will be for the right reasons.

I think of my own mother in these moments. After my dad died, when I told my mom I was leaving my career as a music and brain scientist to carve out a path I couldn’t even fully articulate, she said, “The most important thing is that I want you to be happy.” I was in shock. That is not a message typically communicated by Korean immigrant parents, and it meant the world to me. I have tried to model it for my own kids.

As Laurel and I leaned our heads together on the train back to her apartment, I told her: “I’m deeply proud of you — beyond the quantitative accomplishments. The friendships you’ve forged, the contributions you’ve made to your community, the life skills you’ve developed, the love you’ve poured into this weekend, the way you’ve figured out your path and really gone for it. I couldn’t be prouder.”

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This juncture feels impossibly far away when you’re up in the middle of the night with a baby, attempting to coax a poop out of a potty-training toddler, supporting kids through friend drama in middle and high school, navigating financial and logistical issues in college, and so much else. Seeing the culmination of all those years in one joyful weekend with Laurel is a core memory I will always carry with me.

Also, some of these recipes are great for these chilly raw days we’re still having in New England. It is actually snowing right now in Boston — not a dusting…giant fluffy flakes are coming down outside my office window🙃. Following my last recap, gold stars indicate recipes that were an especially big hit with my crew.

#1 Slow-simmered lentils with kale and goat cheese

This is another recipe from the wonderful Smitten Kitchen Keepers: New Classics for Your Forever Files by Deb Perelman. It was easy to make and very satisfying. The red wine vinegar and creamy goat cheese (I used the Trader Joe’s goat cheese rolled in herbs for a little extra flavor boost) add lovely flavor and texture notes. The only hitch is that if Laurel isn’t home, I’m the primary person who enjoys lentils, so it meant a lot of lentils for me in a week! I think leftovers would freeze fine.

⭐#2 Chicken enchiladas

I had never made proper (by the book) enchiladas and was excited to try this chicken enchiladas recipe, especially since it felt doable and quick using jarred enchilada sauce and rotisserie chicken. The tortilla prep step in this recipe — brush each side with oil and fry one minute on each side, which prevents the tortilla from falling apart when you roll — is perfection. This dish is easy, delicious, and a great make-ahead. My first time making it we had a friend over (who is Mexican…no pressure) and I served it with pico de gallo, guacamole, black beans, and brown rice. He gave it an enthusiastic thumbs up! The recipe was so good I made another tray the following weekend.

#3 Orange cauliflower bites

I didn’t love the sauce on these Orange Cauliflower Bites — though I think that might have been because my oranges were not super flavorful — but the big win was learning a new technique. Creating a batter for the cauliflower and baking it led to wonderful crispy cauliflower bites that I was happy to snack on right out of the oven!

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⭐#4 Cheddar-topped Shepherd’s pie

After noting in my January/February recap that I tried a Shepherd’s pie recipe that was cozy and tasty but left room for other contenders, directed me to her favorite: the Cheddar-Topped Shepherd’s Pie by Martha Stewart. It is delicious and this is my new go-to — thanks so much, Jennifer! Two edits:

1. Next time I will 1.5x the cheddar mashed potatoes. They are amazing, you can never go wrong with more cheesy mashed potatoes, and there is room in the pan for it.

2. The meat filling should be seasoned with salt and peper. I was surprised that this wasn’t indicated in the recipe and I should have followed my instinct to season. If you get a perfect bite ratio of filling + topping the recipe as dictated is great. But if you just have a bite of filling, it is good but needs seasoning.

#5 Toasted coconut rice salad

I made this Toasted Coconut Rice Salad when one of Laurel’s college friends visited for dinner. I know it may sound odd as an Asian person, but I am not a high volume white rice eater because, well, it backs me up. So, I liked the idea of this dish because it is also loaded with purple cabbage, cilantro, tofu, and other yummy bits. Everyone at the table enjoyed this one!

If you have a favorite go-to recipe, I’d love to hear about it in the comments!

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Q1 involved a lot of energy out, growth, and trusting the universe. I’m not ready to go into the depths of it all yet, but I imagine everyone is living some version of transition right now. What I keep returning to, with genuine delight and gratitude each and every time, is this: even when the world is on fire, good things happen.

Here’s what kept me grounded in Q1, in case it sparks something for you.

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What Kept Me Grounded in Q1

Jon. Full stop. He’s the funniest, coolest, most emotionally fluent and thoughtful person I know — he supports and challenges me in equal measure. Q1 required a real flex for us. Also, we experienced five days as empty nesters during February school vacation, which was a fascinating glimpse of what life looks like in the future.

Watching my kids find their edges. What I want most for Laurel and Violet is for them to be good humans and find purpose, contentment, and good friendships. Against the backdrop of our nation’s dumpster fire, their light and enthusiasm creates wild cognitive dissonance — and fills me with hope. Seeing Violet shine as a Fate in Hadestown was a massive mood boost. Q1 has been an exciting waiting game for Laurel, who applied to medical school and has several amazing offers, with more decisions pending.

Investing in my work. Beyond supporting my beloved current clients, I’ve been doing intentional work to architect what the next 10–15 years looks like for my strategic advisory practice. It’s been meaningful and occasionally anxiety-provoking — which tells me I’m pointed in the right direction.

Low-key planning. My planning routine is simple yet effective: eyes on the big milestones while tending to myself as a whole person across five core buckets.

How I’m Staying Human

Anchoring into relationships that feel reciprocal and uncomplicated. For me, uncomplicated means easy because of aligned values, communication style, and perspective. I’m staying close to the people who just get it.

Giving people their flowers. I’m a big believer in seeing, noticing, and then actually saying something. I usually do this with people I know, but yesterday I wrote an email to Senator Andy Kim. I’ve been following his work for a while, and listening to him talk about his values-driven, human-centered approach to politics — and about his journey caring for his father, who has Alzheimer’s — moved me to reach out to thank him for his work and for giving me hope.

Tackling household projects. I finally cleaned out my office closet so it’s functional, and got our food storage organized. The satisfaction of home projects is real and I am here for it.

Buzzing around the kitchen. Cooking and baking are a source of healing and purpose for me. I also made a fresh batch of bee balm oil infused salve (with bee balm harvested from my witch garden last fall) to send as thank-you gifts — a small, tactile act of care that feels meaningful to give.

Reorienting toward the garden. This past weekend I went back through my garden notes and plugged spring action items into my to-do app. The big experiment this season: attempting to grow plants from seed, which I set up on Sunday. We shall see!

As a personal mood boost, I spun through my Google Photos (read about my daily digital decluttering practice) to pull a few Q1 images that made me smile. See captions for details.

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