I. 

i took you home to see all of my old things in the place i once lived and i told you i used to be beautiful. i woke up and made coffee and you stood there in the kitchen all new and alive and my blood stirred beneath skin and i wanted you to see me naked. i wanted my insides splayed out so that you could see the pulsing thing beneath my ribs, a forest of bone making way for your hands. you’d reach in and feel the grooves of scar, just like you saw the chipped walls of my old bedroom. we laid on forgotten cotton and touch wasn’t close enough, i wanted to dip my fingers into your hair like streams of light. i wanted to look into your sweet pillow eyes and tell you that you're actually the only home i’ve ever known.

II. 

i drink too much coffee 
and like smoking too much 
and staining my gums. 
i like wine on an empty stomach
and running until my soles bleed
and listening to the same song on loop
and loving you in the morning.
and at night i slip into my bed 
and pray fifty times
and when daylight slips through my fingers 
i swallow it whole.
i’ve never known how to love 
anything without leaving 
nail marks in its soft
underbelly

III. 

wine stains on pure cotton/ your tongue on my wounds

drunk& sweet, clumsy love 
spills from 
soft lips

the sound of your laugh 
would bruise me

i now have a buymeacoffee, so if you enjoyed clinking the link would be immensely appreciated! :’) thank you! <3

buymeacoffee.com/calliecosper