it’s 7am on a monday, while trying to snooze your alarm half consciously you move your fingertips in a familiar order and do what your therapist told you not to do: scroll first thing in the morning. pre coffee, pre breakfast, pre some kind of gratitude “I am alive” routine, pre anything - scroll is fatal. and what do we have here…..oh yeah:

the worst person you know is posting their new york times feature. (full page)

before you turn to anger and send a screenshot of the feature to your groupchat, let’s unpack the emotion.

there are two types of people in this world. the ones who get the things they want, and the ones that don’t. which has little to do with talent, often little to do with being deserving, also depends on levels of nepotism, location, industry, luck, climate, so many factors. but overall, some of us just struggle less (if at all) with shame.

what if we could change our views on self promotion? something that is a form of practice, of self care, of respect? I sound delusional, but there is a reason you’re resisting putting yourself out there to be perceived, judged, scrutinised, celebrated.

here is my experience with self promoting.

I have been able to shift my mindset from seeing this practice as arrogant and entitled, to manifesting abundance and self love. believe me I know this sounds corny as fuck but I am reporting from basecamp of cringe mountain and it is what is is. arrogance is thinking I deserve things more than anyone around me, entitlement is expecting people to clap for me getting out of bed in the morning. abundance is knowing (or telling yourself until you believe it) that there is enough for everyone, self love is not relying on outside validation for my accomplishments.

self promotion, in my opinion, starts with uplifting, clapping for, showing up for everyone around you. you receive the love you think you deserve, and no one is going to root for you if you’re not rooting for them, too. a little healthy competition is fine if you need it for motivation, but that’s also where it should end. an abundant person isn’t stingy. an abundant person doesn’t need to compete, to backstab, to gossip, they know the only competition is themselves.

what has that meant for me, personally?

I hope not a day has gone by in the last years where I haven’t said, texted, emailed “meet my friend”, “you should meet my friend”, “here is my friend XYZ, they do this, and you guys should meet”. you are only as successful as everyone around you, and as awful the “my network is my net worth” sounds, there is truth to it. I will introduce anybody, friends, collegues, it doesn’t matter. I am not doing this in a calculated way to get something in return, but my abundance knows that I will be thought of when an opportunity arises. I give compliments when I see someone, and hope to leave people better than I found them. that doesn’t always work, and some people don’t meet you at the same level, and that’s okay. they say the cost of community is inconvenience, and even though I have a tendency for isolation depending on my mental state, I force myself out to someone’s birthday dinner, I will offer to bring my sick friend something from the pharmacy, I will pick you up from the airport, watch your dog, proof read your article, help with whatever it is that my friends ask of me. I will go to your exhibit opening, your performance, your play, your poetry slam, your destination wedding, I will share your book, your article. when an article of mine goes live, I don’t have to send it to my friends groupchat and beg that they’ll read it; they will send me notes of what they liked the best. if you’re my close friend or just an acquaintance, I will send you a happy birthday singing voice note. I still write cards somethimes. I do not hate follow anyone. if someone posts about their private or professional milestone, I will be in the comment sections. when someone does a “send to all” goodbye email announcing their departure from their job, I will reply to wish them the best. when that someone does a “send to all” announcement of their new job, I will reply to congratulate. If someone loses their dog, I am texting. these things take one second, and I hope you don’t wonder what that has to do with self promotion. if you are not part of someone’s life, why are you expecting them to be a part of yours?

if you see an instagram post of mine and it has 100 comments, that means it has 50 and I replied to all of them. sure, that helps with my engagement, but mostly I think it’s rude to not take the time out of my day to reply when someone has taken their time to say something nice. every day I click on my follower’s profiles and like a bunch of their pictures. That can be strategy and “community management” but also I like to know who I am interacting with and what people are wearing, and posting, and interested in. I repost any post that mentions me, if you are an editor that asks me for a quote for an article, I am sharing the link on my story once it goes live. if you mention me in a substack, I share it.

I am not selling anything, but still I have VICs (very important clients) just like brands do. if you approach me on the street, I have stickers ready in my handbag to hand out to you. you might post them on your story or you might put them on your laptop and someone might ask you what it means and you’ll tell them about me or my podcast. If you say hi to me I also always ask if you want to take a picture. it might never see the light of day but you might post it! I have 9 thousand people in an instagram broadcast, I send them voice notes and party invites, in case they want to try and sneak in. none of this costs me anything (besides printing a few stickers every few months, but the return of investment is times one hundred). I repost any time someone mentions me in a story, and truly don’t understand how many people don’t utilise the support that is already there. my support might look different from yours, if you have one loyal substack supporter that is your auntie susan, you should still reply to every single comment or message she writes. people really forget the social part in social media. it’s not the time for nonchalance. brands will at some point stop booking the “cool it girl” with 30k likes and 30 comments because she has no community, just fans.

self promotion also includes showing up, showing out, saying yes to opportunities. these are the parts that get stunted by shame, by social anxiety, by self doubt. and I do not have one size fits all kind of advice for this. for some it might help if I say, when you don’t say yes, someone else, less talented, more self assured will do it. a man that has never been told to shut up will gladly take your place. but you might also just need to work on your mindset when it comes to accepting the things you deserve. if someone invites you, if someone reaches out, it’s because you belong, it’s because someone wants you there. go to the event, say yes to the podcast appearance, to the university lecture, to the stage panel talk, whatever it is, leave the house.

for every person on reddit or any comment section that says I am annoying, there are maybe 10 if not more who would show up for me, online and in real life.

in my case, self promotion is also visually. that includes getting hair and makeup done, the designer outfit, the body posture (no for real, you should be watching “women in the workforce bodylanguage” youtube tutorials, we need to take up more space, physically), I work hard on bringing a certain presence in how I show up in a room. the energy you bring to a dinner party.

when I give lectures at universities, I usually start with a disclaimer that if you spend whatever thousands of whatever currency on your degree, if you are not asking a question at the end, that’s you not making space for youself. who cares if your classmates think you’re annoying, if they don’t have a question for me, that’s on them. I also won’t be able check out the instagrams of those students who don’t mention me in their story afterwards, or who don’t send me a follow up direct message or email. if you are not interacting, nothing will come from it. there is this boy who once organised a talk at a university with me, who I then kept seeing at fashion weeks because he was volunteering, who I then helped get a semi permanent gig at a magazine, whose editor in chief then got him a proper job at a major agency. this happened within a year or so, because this person relentlessly put themselves out there, asked me for no introductions, just for advice, and always showed up for me. and they will go far because they worked hard and inserted themselves wherever needed.

self promotion also means making things (a little, or a lot) bigger than they are. that is the beauty of having this online space. you can make a dead party look like it was poppppping online with the right edits and angles.

if I am featured in print, I will do an entire post about it. when I launched my adidas sneaker, which yes, is a big deal in itself, we insisted on doing an event. adidas would’ve been happy if we did a little dinner for friends, but we hired a florist, made them give us the adidas store for a night, did extra photoshoots, printed posters for people to take home, stickers for their phones, made adidas gift the sneakers to my audience, not to influencers. they, over the course of one year, are still wearing them and posting about it. we spent a lof of money, time, and energy that wasn’t required by the client, but requrired by us. I always say I create the hot air around myself, by myself. and that doesn’t come from a point of arrogance, but self love. I want to succeed and I want an exciting, fullfilling career and therefore taking the necessary steps to get myself there. I didn’t need to do five physical book launces for my brended book either, we could have just put it online. but that’s not in the spirit of the self promoter! again, we printed posters, we found venues, we made stickers, we booked flights, hotels, my hair and makeup, it takes a village but we wanted to give my audience the occasion to get dressed up, to meet me, to meet others and make friends, to experience something curated by me. the bond we have through that, versus buying a book online is incomparable. it also meant tagged pictures, people did mini tiktok vlogs of the event, people got the chance to find like minded people, they promoted me and the book, we now have a shared memory. in order to be celebrated, I make room to be celebrated.

I see lots of frustration around the discussion that every artist is forced to be an influencer now, and I agree that it sucks. but I don’t think you are being forced to turn into a self obsessed megaphone doing “get ready with me for my art show” tiktoks. I think you can think outside of the box and use these platforms in whatever shape you like, you are an artist after all. it’s not like pre social media artists didn’t have to leave the house to be discovered. didn’t have to schmooze with a rich person to buy their painting, didn’t have to show up to dinners. I do get that all of this is frustrating but we all have to realise that people are not waiting on us, and most likely nobody will discover us and hand us the world, right?

and I think being a self promoter starts with clapping for everyone around you.

you get attention when you’re loud, but that is fleeting.

you keep it when you are passionate, when you evolve, when you grow, when you are consistent. consistently putting out work, perfect or not, when you consistently show up for others, show up for yourself, when you consistently read, watch, share, obsess, think, talk, express. so you don’t need to ask anyone to feature you in their article, to invite you to something, to put you on, you put yourself on. and it’s not entitled, you worked for this!

I hope you found this text helpful, and if you did, please share it with someone who might think the same.

if you want this to actually be ingrained in your brain, I recorded a podcast about this, too. listen here.

plus, a little behind the scenes of self promotion orchestra at the recent hermes show in los angeles:

wait,

did I promote myself enough in this post?

you should follow me on instagram.

lol

depending on when you joined the brendaverse, you might know about brenda’s business. a series of interviews with successful people, about intuition, taste, grit, work ethic and luck.

I was on a 2 year hiatus, and so so so excited to finally be back. they say the kids don’t read long format anymore, and I think it’s because everything is fucking boring.

here is my newest addition, mirko borsche, a legend in the design and branding world, who’s worked on supreme, rimowa, porsche, you name it. I hope you love it.

<3333333 READ HERE <3333333

enjoy! share with a friend! share on socials, prove to me that people still read.

substack is telling me this email is too long so you might have to open it in the app if you can’t see all the links. all of these are fab, it might be best to view from laptop tbh so you can strategise.

• issey top

• rick skirt

• chloe dress

• pleats please skirt

• gucci bag

• the row top

• peter do dress

• dries top

• the row pumps

• chanel slides

• issey dress

• celine dress

• chanel dress

• gucci blouse

• comme dress

• rick top

• dior bag

• prada heels

• celine top

• comme dress

• gucci top

• chanel tote

• issey top

• the row heels

• comme skirt

• rick skirt

• chanel pants

• peter do top

• chanel shorts

• gucci dress

• the row pants

• issey top

• dior bag

• comme dress

• chanel belts

• gucci top

• dries bikini top

• the row cardi

• the row sweater

• issey top

• comme dress

• the row dress

• the row mules

• gucci top

• celine dress

• yohji bag

• the row pants

• dior jacket

• the row dress

• the row pants

• yohji dress

• the row dress

• helmut lang heels

• chanel heels

• dior skirt

• yohji dress

• gucci skirt

• alaia dress

• dior blouse

• the row bag

• yohji midi skirt

• the row heels

• yohji skirt and dress

• the row sandals

• yohji skirt

• the row dress

• celine dress

• chanel boots

• gucci bag

• yohji dress

• gucci bag

• celine pants

• margiela pants

• dries skirt

• gucci dress

• the row boots

• celine dress

• rick dress

• peter do top

• gucci top

• gucci skirt

• celine skirt

• gucci bag

• celine pants

• celine top

• chanel pants

• rick dress

• gucci bag

• saint laurent top

• margiela dress

• louis boots

• dries heels

• alaia body

• helmut lang belt

• gucci top

• dior by raf boots

• celine sweater

• chloe skirt

• celine top

• margiela top

• gucci boots

• helmut lang tote

• rick pants

• rick top

• margiela top

• alaia skirt

• celine top

• celine skirt

• chanel skirt

• the row ballerinas

• the row tank

• rick top

• the row mules

• chloe pants

• celine top

• the row top

• rick dress

• dior skirt

• alaia body

• chanel skirt

• comme top

• the row heels

• rick dress

• celine top

• rick skirt

this was the morning of the show, too late to send a print invite my way, and i almost didn’t go because i thought there is no way i am getting in, it all seemed a little sketchy to me and i was too shy to bother the pr people the day of the show asking if i am actually on some sort of list. my life but also my fashion career have been on an upward spiral since then- now i walk up to exclusive couture shows sans print invite, sometimes without an ID, but with a positive confidence that someone, somewhere will snatch me from the crowd and escort me in.

but in june of 2024, i was a little nervous of what to say at the door. this is hermes. a brand where i knew no one. i also knew nobody in the crowd of editors outside, hermes doesn’t invite a lot of influencers (the only people i would have known) and even less celebrities. and writing this makes me appreciate how far i’ve come, because at last night’s hermes show in los angeles, june 2026, i knew almost all the editors that crossed my way and got to feel confident while walking around, catching up with people and saying “see you in paris”. anyways, back to 2024. i walk closer to the gates of security guards who will definitely not care about my “i am here on behalf of my boss” story, and someone waves at me. a member of the hermes communications team ushers me through and brings me all the way to my seat, saying they are so excited to have me at their show. what. two more hermes women from germany introduce themselves to me before the show starts and invite me to dinner at lou lou’s that night.

and just like that, over the next two years, i am invited to every single hermes show in paris. they start offering me looks to loan, at the re sees i bring my dog summer to their headquarters, i get letters with little gifts and hermes magazines sent to my home, i end up having several of their intimate lou lou’s dinners in paris.

every luxury brand is entirely different in how they handle their relationships with their community of editors, celebrities, artists, influencers. some are cold, some you don’t hear from throughout the year besides the show, some shower you with gifts, some take you to museums, some invite you to plays, some you have lunches and dinners with like personal close friends, some make you unsure if you’re ever invited again, some demand posts for free, some try to pay you through their beauty lines, some do bag activations, some gift you bags but ask you to not post them, some pay for your hotel, some wouldn’t even give you a car, some are warm and some are snobbish in the way they treat you. i find communications and influencer relations very interesting, it says a lot about a brand, the way they treat you. some luxury brands to me are like bullies keeping you at arms length, some are lovers, and some are long term supporters and followers of your career.

hermes was a smooth ride, contrary maybe to what you would expect. i was just in. without begging, or chasing, or follow ups. i went as press first, then we asked to loan looks, they said yes sure. i wore mostly my own clothes, old céline leather pieces, the row, i always got my makeup done and showed up to their afternoon shows in full beat. they were always excited, never tried to get me to conform. one day outside of the show someone with a camera in my face asked me about the bag i was wearing. i said “she’s actually not mine, hermes loaned it to me! and i don’t know the name”, i say it smilingly. it wasn’t an obvious bag model like a birkin or kelly. i ended up in a mashup video with a bunch of guests who didn’t know their bag models and we all looked pretty stupid. i usually am known to do my research, to know the collection, read the press release, know what i’m talking about online and offline. the video went pretty viral, with lots of commentary stich videos about how hermes is inviting ungrateful idiots and should incite people who actually know and buy their products. and yes, a little education should be mandatory, but i know that i don’t have to buy my way in, and that hermes invites me for different reasons, not because i am an hermes super fan. i bring a good energy and can talk to all my seat mates for example, i am a fan of the artist they collaborate with, i am a super fan of margiela for hermes and collect jean paul gaultier for hermes. the press people chuckled at the videos, and didn’t adjust anything about their list of invitees, because it’s not about that with them.

they invite people they like, who are nice to be around, and are pretty unphased about internet rage. it became fun content for me over the last seasons to get asked about which bag model i was carrying. the hermes team never made me feel bad about it, whereas other competitor brands might have a little less humour to them and would have scoffed.

in march, a day after their show in paris, i am standing at the re-see talking to the team about my dog when they drop pretty casually that they would like to invite me to los angeles for their second chapter show in june. i believe my reply was “are you kidding me!!!”.

here is how it went:

these are pretty personal bathroom updates from my trip, planning content, providing info on what i’m actually doing or contributing there, and being hopefully pretty vulnerable about my flight anxiety and the pressure i put myself under to perform, online and offline. it shows me organising hair, makeup, photographer by myself in order to deliver what I want to deliver, which is definitely a level and content quality that is not expected of any brand, but by brenda. i hope you enjoy it, it’s long.

the moral of the story is that if you stay true to yourself, the right things will gravitate towards you!

hi! i gathered a bunch of images from my camera roll of summer outfits, it’s really that simple. these are not fashion week looks but basics. i don’t like to be naked (in public) but i also don’t like to be hot (as in sweating, not as in sexy) so i wear lots of silk and often wear backless tops, love a jean. idk if this helps anyone but i feel like it will. happy scrolling! all of these are from several years, because i re wear my clothes.

top left: the row slides, the row gala pants, both second hand

top right: dior galliano runway shirt, rick owens silk pants, 5 euro flip flops

bottom left: vintage rick owens top and skirt

bottom right: vintage chanel top, second hand levi’s

top left: prada runway silk coat, phoebe philo gig bag, plein sud pants, chanel ballerinas

top right: chrome hearts shirt, chanel ballerinas, levi’s 501

bottom left: chanel scarf as top, the row pants

bottom right: second hand dries van noten silk dress, the row mesh shoes

top left: wolford aurora top, the row silk pants in a different size than the one before, chanel ballerinas

top right: comme des garçons blazer, pleats please pants, margiela ballerinas

bottom left: prada 2013 coat, rick silk pants

bottom right: the row top

top left: full pleats please set, the row ballerinas

top right: levi’s 501, céline silk top

bottom left: peter do t shirt, comme des garçons skirt, ann demeulemeester boots

bottom right: the row top, rick silk pants

top left: the row top, plein sud pants

top right: the row mesh shoes

bottom left: céline top vintage, peter do pants, old céline strappy sandals

bottom right: peter do t shirt, margiela drawstring silk pants, chanel ballerinas and vintage chanel bag

top left: random merch baby tee, vintage levi’s, the row mesh shoes

top right: the row top, phoebe bag, rick silk pants, gucci ballerinas

bottom left: rick owens lilies dress

bottom right: alaia thong heels

top left: wolford top, peter do pants

top right: old céline leather top, vintage levi’s 501

bottom left: old céline runway top, phoebe gig bag

bottom right: levi’s, the row mesh shoes

top left: wolford top, alaia shoes

top right: the row top, pleats please pants, the row ballerinas, the row 90s bag

bottom left: the row ballerinas, pleats please pants

bottom right: old gucci top, the row pants

top left: peter do set, alaia heels and bag

top right: wolford top

bottom left: the row gala pants

bottom right: vintage céline silk top, margiela pants

top left: the row heels, vintage leather pants, old céline leather top

top right: rick owens lilies top, pleats please

bottom left: the row top

bottom right: comme shirt, levi’s, the row shoes

top left: peter do top, pleats please pants, chanel ballerinas

top right: the row top, rick silk pants

bottom left: rick owens lilies dress

bottom right: rick owens lilies top, margiela pants, old céline slides

top left: prada runway top that i cut shorter with scissors lol, pleats please pants

top right: random t shirt, margiela ballerinas and levi’s 501

bottom left: wolford tube top

bottom right: the row silk ballerinas and the row 9”s bag

top left: vintage chanel top

top right: vintage yohji top, levi’s, chanel ballerinas

bottom left: old céline tote bag, levi’s, the row mesh shoes

bottom right: same old céline tote bag, rick silk pants, peter do shirt, chanel ballerinas

top left: margiela ballerinas

top right: wolford tube top

bottom left: vintage chanel top

bottom right: old céline heels and levi’s 501

and there you have it, all the same right? happy summer for those of you in the same hemisphere as me and thank you for reading! or scrolling. x

monday morning the talent team presents the millions of impressions to their bosses, everyone is happy.

I am simplifying. but also not really. influencing in the fashion industry has gone through so many changes in its short existence (yes, jesus was the first influencer etc etc but I am talking about social media influencer of the modern day), from dedicated bloggers and blogspotters with hd camera to revolve 2014 grid girls to getting famous in their moms living room 2021 tiktokers to now green screen commentators. and yes, it’s always been a numbers game. but what I have found fascinating to watch has been high fashion brands inviting content creators into their world (and shows) that have no connection or interest in them. in a way it was the great equaliser, which I support. it was no longer just daughters of. but in another way it also made a lot of things pretty meaningless. you no longer had to know anything about where you’re sitting and what you’re watching. before I sound like a jealous hater, I want to say that my eye roll is always aimed at the brands, never at the talent. why would they say no to an invite. brands being desperate for views and likes and shares that are pretty meaningless, because there is often zero correlation with sales or desirability.

I always hated this mentality of “I had to struggle, so you have to struggle too” of fashion people. just because I interned for free, doesn’t mean I want my young audience to go through the same thing. just because I had mean bosses, doesn’t mean I want you to experience that too. yet it is a funny experience sitting next to an influencer ten years younger than me, who was driven to the show in a black mercedes and has never experienced anything else than top tier luxury treatment, since being scouted by their agency on tiktok 4 months ago. and I am so grateful that wasn’t my experience for the first 7 years in this industry, because otherwise I would take all of what I have now for granted. I don’t want to sound like my way to success was an endless struggle, but I am so glad to have had a million doors shut in my face before I got to where I am now-

it’s 2016, I am an ex prconsulting intern, have just graduated from my bachelors degree in media communication management in berlin, got accepted into central saint martins for fashion journalism and just reached 50 thousand instagram followers. I have been tumblring und instagramming for 4-5 years, have been writing about high fashion, all my obsessions, and wanted nothing more than to be carine roitfelt. I don’t know if I have the words to get my message through to you of how bad I wanted this. it’s all I wanted. to be part of these people, to be a part of fashion, to have a voice that people listened to, to have the privilege to be in the rooms, to know designers and call them my friends, to travel the world, to discuss fashion shows with my friends at the dinner table, to talk to people who cared just as much as me about all of this, for people to care about my opinion, to sit at fashion shows, to write for fashion magazines, to get to wear the clothes, or even touch the clothes, to get to interview designers and explore how their brains worked, to be a part of something that mattered, culturally, historically, to witness fashion and pop culture merge, to have my name on the lists, for people to know my name. if I look back on the last ten years, it all looks like steady growth, cohesive, it all makes sense. I can make it look like I only made the right decisions and took the right steps. but in 2016, the person I dreamt of becoming, this was all a very unrealistic dream.

nothing to lose is actually an amazing position to be in. now I have all this pride, the fear of rejection, an image to control. in 2016, I had internet access and delusion. when the paris fashion week calendar dropped online, I got to work. I spent hours and hours every day trying to find the emails of press personell, if nothing worked I just tried my luck with press@brandname.com. every day I emailed about 200 people, asking if I could attend their fashion show. I linked my instagram and said I am a fashion blogger. looking back, these emails cause a bit of a cringe reaction to my mind and body, but how else are you supposed to start? don’t ask, don’t receive, it’s that simple. this was my starting point, there was nobody who explained me a step by step on how to get show invites. fashion people didn’t have podcasts to explain to young people how to get a foot in the door, LIKE I DO NOW. some brands send automated replies, most didn’t reply at all. but when I got lucky, I got a showroom visit appointment. I didn’t care, it meant I got to meet someone from a fashion brand and even touch the clothes in real life!!! my dream. so every 6 months I booked an easyjet to paris, stayed in a shitty airbnb, and went and tried my luck. I forced to introduce myself to anyone who would give me five minutes of their time. I tagged the PRs after a re-see appointment, I uploaded pictures of my clothes and what I thought of them. I watched livestreams of the shows on youtube on my laptop in my airbnb with no AC and then went to cafe charlot with friends I had made online and discussed the clothes. I really felt like I was part of fashion just by being in the right city as things were happening. and this is what I did for years. each time I had a new contact, a new cocktail invite. and people in fashion just get used to seeing you and think you must have a reason to be there if you’re there. I just inserted myself into my dream life, it wasn’t glamorous looking back, but I didn’t care at all. I did this for years and was having the time of my life. in june of 2018, I got an email back from a german PR of dior, she was an instagram follower. I sat in my airbnb without AC, staring at the email. what the fuck.

here is my self made “fashion week calendar” of june 2018, as you can see, I did presentations and showroom appointments. I posted about everything, serious reviews, this was my life. when the dior email came, a day before the show, I really couldn’t believe my life. the girl asked for my hotel address to send the print invite. this was a struggle I had for years and would have for another few years before I got a management in paris: airbnbs obviously don’t have mailboxes, so PRs have no place to send invites to. it was so shitty and I always made up lies about moving hotels that day and not being able to receive anything. the girl would meet me at the entrance of the show and hand me my invite. I remember everything of this day. I remember showing up 40 minutes early to find my seat, just to see all my icons and watch fashion people interact, I observed who greeted each other and how, I took notes of the music, I just couldn’t believe I was there in the room. it was the menswear debut show of kim jones at dior, and I am not kidding it was like my life in fashion had started. I was buzzing for weeks, no one could take this moment from me. all the hours, emailing people with no reply, posting endless texts about fashion with five comments, it seemed like I had arrived. this all sounds very dramatic but I really have dreamt of this life. and this is the context I need people to know when I am sitting at a fashion show, I have dreamt of this. I have yearned for this, and that is my problem with many things in fashion-

the people don’t yearn anymore.

so when you see her, aka me, just know “grateful to be here” is a massive understatement. I might request a car now, I have a hardcore manager who demands respect, I have shows that I decline because they aren’t a brand fit for me, I have standards, I have insane rates because I know my worth, I come with an audience of fashion obsessed people, I want to loan runway looks, I need to fly business class, I am bringing an assistant, I am getting my makeup done. it’s my job to make it look like I am meant to be here. but I hope you know I am never ever ever taking anything for granted.

it took ten years of declines to be called an industry plant :)

I made an instagram post about this in two minutes with no effort and honestly didn’t expect that it would strike a cord with people. here it is :) thank you for reading.

creative bankruptcy

plant obsessed

spectacle locations, snooze looks

one trick pony, or reliant

mermaid fetishes

let’s get into it:

gucci

is it “reliance on celebrity/influencer cameos” or is it just demna’s social circle and the people he designs for?

this cruise collection needs a lot of AC

what happens when irony and critique that were once a feeling, become core strategy of a mega brand?

the menswear is definitely gucciaga

the critique is that people can’t imagine who demna’s gucci woman is, but isn’t the purpose of typecasting for the runway to do exactly that? he’s showing you who he sees as the gucci woman quite literally

i need a number of what it actually

costs to sync the times square billboards

it’s a balance act to make these low-high looks look chic, and hard to image it being done in a tasteful way by the end consumer

i can tell from personal experience the heels so far have been extremely uncomfortable, and i find how the thigh high boots make the thin models legs look on the runway, it can’t be flattering on an average body type

the promotional videos were amazing

pretending i didn’t see the rick doughnuts

the menswear mostly tricky. yes there are rappers and beckham sons who want to wear this, but this is not for guys over 20 who simply want to dress well

makeup by sam visser amazing

very… everyone is sexy but no one is having sex

nobody needed backpacks on the runway, that could’ve been a quiet launch at the stores tbh

the cindy crawford dress to me could’ve been balenciaga couture tbh, same with maria carla’s fur stola dress, this looks like a scarf. i like that he stuck to the slinky dresses that swanepole wore, much like his debut F/W show.

the identity of the brand and what you can reference form it is more than a horsebit right

if you were hating on the tom brady moment i am afraid to tell you you are allergic to fun

into the leather cake box bags, fast food bags?

i overall think he’s getting there, i think the storytelling is back, it’s my personal problem that i don’t find LA people very cool, so this isn’t cool to me. either the LA-milan thing is a juxtaposition that works somehow, or it doesn’t.

dior

so much beauty on the runway, for those at home some of it fell a bit flat through the screen because of the lightning at LACMA

fantastic heels, especially the floral ones, bags so much better (i had not been such a fan of the “cigale” model that he first showed during his women’s debut, but with the attached flower brooches she looked fab), return of the saddle! it’s not like the saddle was gone (remains a huge seller for dior) but finally got a jonathan reiteration of the famous cadillac. and very fab special fabric lady diors.

what do you know about david geffen

fabulous ed ruscha collaboration, even though this cruise men’s pieces were far less exciting than the women’s looks. great hitchcock reference though

the philip treacy dior hats did not do it for me personally, saying this as a super fan. maybe for horse racing attendees? but love an isabella blow reference forever

very clear path of his world building with nature, there are always plants and flowers in there, this time also very cute bird and snail clutches, which he has done at loewe before obv but these are def a different price category, for the daughters of judith lieber fans. i wonder if he will introduce something else or stay in his gardening, animal era

very fab replacement of vogue runway by jonathan anderson posting his detail shots on instagram, i might stop paying because this was robbery

very little sexy

absolutely stunning opening dresses, and having sabrina carpenter (who was not on the face sheet of VIP guests) wearing it to the show already

was rihanna there?

pretty high brow guests with al pacino and co, much more actor focused compared to gucci in new york

wondering of all these hollywood references will be explored further by jonathan, in terms of a short movie or else

everyone has had their parties at the chateau before but that doesn’t make it any less fab

interesting to close with a relatively simple men’s look, wearing the “buzz” headpiece. jonathan is trying to be more than buzz and i think he is absolutely on the right track to make dior a house of beauty and freshness again.

chanel

i was at the edge of my seat for the re-see images from people getting into the details of it all.

what do you know about benoit meleard?

loved a LBD opening

as a karl lagerfeld ultra, sometimes matthieus use of 20 different patters and materials within one collection, compared to lagerfeld who often explored one colour, one theme much more visibly obvious and easier to digest in one show, is a bit overwhelming. i think this is still very much a designer who is exploring the insane capabilities of the house he has been handed, so why narrow himself down, it’s understandable. however when i walk about old chanel collections, they are easier to reference (supermarket, beach, chalet, versailles) and remember. the future is not one cohesive collection where everything explores the same topic, but sometimes it makes it harder to find the essence of it

overall such a fun collection, i wonder if the client actually IS that fun?

the finding nemo cc bag, the beach hats, the feathers

besides reporting on what bags asap rocky is wearing to the shows, chanel has a little less pop culture moments than dior. yes yes everything is intentional, they reply more on traditional hollywood actresses but i’d love a little pop princess moment

it’s rare for me to look at a show where i would not wear any of it at all but still heavily enjoy the world building

loved a natasha poly on the runway, and the chilli earrings!

like 30 different bags were introduced

i have not been a fan of the very simple chanel bags of the recent months that were clearly a commercial hit, so very happy to see extremely special chanel flap bags again, with embroidery and the matching one of the fabulous orange look

and then idk if this is worth the mention even but

i have no comments on the met gala except for that i need everyone to stop speaking on behalf of bhavitha, who clearly has no speech impediment

first of all I hope you appreciate how I spent my night last night:

I hope to influence everyone to buy a projector instead of a TV, I have actually never owned a TV in my entire life (didn’t even have one as a child) and started getting projectors in my twenties and it’s the best.

ok so I wanted to firstly tell you that a new episode of brendawareness is live, I talk about fashion and art, why things are more and more intertwined, and how I enjoy museum and gallery days without ever feeling insecure about not knowing everything about what I am looking at. listen here on spotify and here on apple.

then yesterday I did a little post about spring outfits, because there are the spring outfits you have saved on your pinterest, and then there is the reality of your weather conditions. the post is here.

but what I really wanted to tell you is that I am trying to be on youtube a bit more, and here is my latest attempt:

let me know what you think:) I edit these myself so it aint much but it’s honest work.

and just now I saw this fab galliano era dior bag and if someone has the budget you should get her.

we are going to athens this weekend to see tilda swinton and I am super excited as I haven’t been in years.

have a great day! bye <3

the first few days at venice biennale everyone was talking about the babies in the japanese pavilion and pussy riot (my queens here), by the end of the week, the chatter was about patti smith at chanel, patti smith for the vatican (someone explain to me exactly how the hans ulrich obrist and ben vickers connection happened with the catholics here), bjoerks surprise (ish) day rave in an incredible bottega outfit, amazing gossip debating if the spermbank semen of the danish pavilion installation actually made it through customs, and if it’s socially acceptable to end up at harry’s every single night (I say yes). the doors handled by italian rule followers this week were unnecessarily strict, to the point where you had to embarrassingly name drop who invited you, which absolutely no-one wants sink down to but what are you gonna do. my personal highlights included seeing anish kapoor at lisson gallery, the peggy guggenheim collection (I haven’t been in years and seeing this calder headboard was incredible, I feel like if anyone of you has a crafty person in their life you should recreate), and the incredible new fondazione dries van noten, just when you finished with one room there was another with an even more insane ceiling and gorgeous comme des garçons piece:

I had kind of forgotten that venice is a walking and boating city only, so the footwear I packed was a little wrong, and I mostly ended up in loro piana loafers, the row kitten heel ballerinas (this sounds so wrong but trust me they are cute), the row flat ballerinas (they are the best, I wear them all the time, but you need little socks in there as the leather transfers colours onto skin, or at least they do in my case), and my most worn bag was my phoebe gig bag.

this was us at a cocktail by bottega veneta and hauser & wirth, the building was insane and I texted my editor in chief a million pictures from products. I am a fan so far of what louise trotter is doing, I think she is fabulous and bottega RTW especially up close is insane. my only wish is that there are more heels again, especially on the runway I would like to see the garments styled in a more elegant, less heavy way.

aren’t these fab?

meet me by the bean! I am a huge huge anish kapoor fan, and he was in the building when we were touring the exhibit! I got too shy to ask for a picture, which I now regret. other notable street walk ins: the tellers, throughout all different parts of the city, each time a different sweater and not always pink!! we walked past raf simons and held eye contact for way too long, and saw dries himself several times, he looks fresh (is he getting anything done or just happy?). the two things I missed were marina abramovich exhibit, even with press tickets the wait was two hours when we tried… so someone tell me how it was! and then everyone said that prada was supposedly fantastic.

venice is mainly huge networking, if you’re in art you need to be seen there this time of the year, and if you’re a luxury brand that wants to signal that you are attached to AND supporting culture and art, you must be part of the mix. I’m sure most of you know that chanel is one of the only brands that doesn’t have it’s own art foundation (think of LV foundation, bourse of pinault, foundation alaia, fondazione prada, now dries, here is a longer text I found about how and why, if you’re interested!), they take a very different approach in supporting arts and culture, much more discreet, maybe a bit more long term nurturing thinking, and with a lot less branding than their competitors, they don’t dress their artists in chanel for example, fashion and arts is almost separate in the house. you can read about it here, sorry the link brings you to the german site but I am sure you can figure it out lol. yana, who runs the program, just got a feature in elle, that kind of explains her job.

anyhow, it was a fabulous week with a lot of visuals to digest and I feel so lucky that I get to experience these things. I will hopefully be in basel in june :)

and one of my favourite up and coming design and architecture magazines, Neptune papers, just launched their issue and one of the fab covers was shot at the donald judd foundation (one of my absolute favourite artists!!!) and it’s very brendahashtag coded, and you can order it here! it’s thick and will look great in your living room.

thank you for reading, have a wonderful sunday xx

I am leaving you with an absolute fail of a caption:

LMAO

I had coffee on an empty stomach and did what I’m not supposed to do- scroll through instagram first thing in the morning. and there it was, staring right at me. an influencer that I follow promoting jonathan anderson’s dior “crunchy” bag, exercising one of my worst influencer triggers. I swipe through the carousel post, and it gets worse with each picture. I am raging. by the way this text is for entertainment purposes only, it’s not that serious but it is also very serious. I hate when influencers don’t stuff their gifted/loaned/paid for bags for their bag activations. this is something that has always bothered me, and it seems like nobody else notices or cares. so I am telling you guys to care!!!!!!!!!! in this particular case, it is a bag that dior is pushing pretty hard, as jonathan needs/wants/deserves!!!! a hit bag, and the bow bag that has launched earlier this year has not taken off (yet).

bag models with a brand like dior have several ways of being pushed out to customers. the first and most effective is campaigns and celebrity endorsements (but these are also the most expensive). but there is also something called “organic seeding” where a bag gets sent out to a select group of KOLs, with a promise of content in return. the crunchy bag is tricky, as she really needs to be styled correctly in order to look desirable, and what I’ve seen on my feed and explore page so far has not done the model any favours. it actually made me not like the bag. she’s flat, which is okay because from what the name suggests, she’s made to be squished and stuffed. on the runway she looked cool, it’s a model from his womenswear debut show, spring summer 2026. if you care, you can see her on vogue runway on look 28, 35, 41, and 54- where she looks like a bag that can fit a bunch of things, a on the go kind of bag, she might even carry your ballerinas for after the club. but what I see on my feed is… empty bags. and with this model in particular, I don’t understand how you hit upload, thinking this looks good. it looks like a padded laptop bag. and I find this kind of laziness offensive, to me, to their audience, and actually also to the brand and designers that worked on it. BY THE WAY, the #guccigiglio activation was just as bad, so many empty bags!!!! so I am not bullying the crunchy bag lol, this is what we’re looking at with every bag actuation ever:

it seems that prada for their “route tote” made it clear to the talents that took part in their activation that the point of the bag is that it fits a lot, and most got the memo. sometimes there is a lot of hand holding involved and that’s okay.

the sad thing is, even though it is their job, most influencers just don’t think as far as making a product look good, look realistic, look like their are not putting it on facebook marketplace after or like it’s getting picked up by their vestiaire collective concierge service after (yes that is a real thing). and not everyone has to make a wes anderson movie out of an unpaid activation, but you could at least.. make it make sense.

and yes sure maybe everything is not that serious, you’re trying to sell a bag. actually in the case of dior, you’re not even trying to sell it. you are keeping a relationship, you are courting a brand in hopes of a show invite, a brand trip, a paid gig, and signalling to other brands that you work with one of the most prestigious luxury brands in the world. it’s not really about the bag. but nonetheless, shouldn’t you take pride in your work, even if (I am assuming) this is an unpaid gig? where is the slightest hint that you are interested in the product you are promoting to your audience, it takes two minutes to see how something was styled on the runway, to come up with a plausible storyline for how you are using the item, and how your followers are meant to integrate it into their life. where is the part where you sell us a dream.

so, what is effort?

for me, I expect influencers/YOU to make the newspaper that you’re pretending to carry, at least a little bit crinkly. you take an actual bite out of the food, you make sure your sneakers look like they’ve been worn (at least once), you don’t promote skincare brands with applying moisturiser on a face full of makeup, you make sure, in carousels or video, that your storyline adds up! if you’re posing with a cigarette for the vibes (sure), you actually light it up. you make sure that no tags hang out of loaned clothes, that you remove the sticker from the bottom of the loaned heels (if you are scared of the pr agency being upset, then you remove it in facetune and not in real life), if you have location changes, make sure they make sense. I could think of a million examples. being an influencer is not that deep, but I think it’s important to take yourself seriously, otherwise how do you expect anyone else to take you seriously. and not everything has to be high production value. my content often is iphone pictures, unedited. so it’s not always about doing the most. you can hire a stylist and photographer and do location scouting and loan a whole outfit for the shoot, but

if you don’t stuff your bag, what is the point.

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if there are typos in here, it’s part of the charm, my newsletter is free <3 listen to my podcast brendawareness on apple and spotify where I get into much more detail on strategy, personal branding and the inner workings of my job and the luxury fashion and media industry. thank you for reading xxx

other other title: wtf is an image influencer?

when i was in my early teens, I was told by someone who ran an advertising agency, that depending on what client he was visiting, he would either bring an apple laptop or windows laptop with him, because both signaled very different things. to a pitch with a car brand that wanted to revamp their image and become sexier, younger, he brought the macbook. to a meeting with executives from a conservative bank, that simply needed someone to run a few out of home campaigns, he brought a windows computer with him. in 2026 this only makes little sense as an advertising person would not not exclusively use a macbook, but back then this was a deliberate move of perception. having gone to the bank meeting with a macbook, it would have signaled that the agency would overcharge the client, come with too many too cool ideas that weren’t right for the client. the windows computer signalled stability, predictability, trust.

all of this seems a little far-fetched now (back in the day not everyone had a laptop from apple and people also had phones from different brands and they signaled things about you, so these were deliberate choices back then) but this taught me very early on that you can go a little further than to “dress for the job you want”.

I often bring up that I work in a hot air industry, a lot of things are simply made up. because why would someone make in a day, for a post online, for simply attending an event, what others make in months of actual work? I say hot air, because a lot of the reporting shown to bosses or clients about influencer metrics in order to justify absolutely bonkers rates don’t actually mean anything. numbers on paper, screen, but no meaning, no equation that results in anything right away. someone in a marketing department or creative agency was assigned budget and they got to decide what to do with it, and who to spend it on, and if they don’t spend it, it will be cut from their budget the next quarter.

but just like soft skills, something you can’t touch, there is something there. this will, or at least could, all lead to something. someone that adds perceived value, which can contribute to real value, of a brand, a product, anything.

in business school you learn that you can compete on several fronts; the most obvious one being price, but you could decide to differentiate through design, innovation, service, convenience, and branding too. in image influencing, i’ll get to what this actually means I promise, it wouldn’t make any sense to compete on price, because the pricing of *me* and what you buy into, which is set by my agents (with my approval), is part of the image. you have heard of perceived value, right? a customer’s subjective assessment of a product or service’s (or of influencer’s!!!) worth based on the benefits received relative to the costs. it has nothing to do with production cost, but an emotional, social, gain to the customer (the customer is a brand in my case). higher perceived value justifies higher prices, vice versa.

back to the laptop story. when I meet a client, which only happens when we are close to a contract signed, I am not in any conversations prior, I bring the apple macbook. figuratively. even if this is a twenty minute introduction zoom meeting, I have my camera on, I have makeup on, I have a look on, I am not sitting in front of a white wall or blurred background: you see my designer couch, rare architecture books, fresh lilies, the whole shebang. this sounds like a joke except that it’s not. whatever my manager has spent weeks negotiating over, I will back it up. we are saying: she’s expensive! and lovely and funny and smart and worldly and all the other things, but also that she’s expensive.

I read that in the US, over 30% of the workforce already engages in freelance work. millions of people having to not just market themselves but also justify their rates. knowing what you’re actually selling is one of the roman empire topics of my podcast, because too many times i talk to freelancers, writers, influencers that seem to have no idea how someone decides what to pay them and how much they’re worth. there are many reasons for someone to book me, and one of them might be as simple as being a podcast listener.

obviously not everything can be hot air, marketing budgets are not endless anymore and my agents need to back up my prices with an engaged, loyal audience, with engagement on socials, and I need to back up my prices with good content, professional behaviour (I have never missed a content deadline and I have never been late on a job, these sorts of things). all of that I hope goes without saying.

an image influencer does not compete on price because that would defeat the purpose of the perceived added value.

they instead come with a network of people, a roster of luxury clients, an industry following, a book published, in my case a life between new york and berlin, connection to one of the best independent magazines in the world, have something to say, will come in full archive runway, will know which restaurants to take clients out, will have the latest industry gossip, will have seen the play, the show, read the book, can sit next to the CEO and keep up a conversation, maybe have their own other business, will get the reference, have a community, understand culture, will look good in the press release, are part of the zeitgeist, have influence beyond sales, are early adapters, ahead of the curve, have a googleable name, have articles written about them, get invited to public speaking engagements, know most people in the room, can work a room, bring a fun vibe to the dinner, everything that is added value on top of their contractually decided deliverables (content, attendance, photo calls etc). the goal with having them around, attached to your brand, product, is not necessarily sales, it’s elevation.

I always like these seemingly silly tiktok videos where a hot girl is explaining her refusal of “splitting the bill” to the camera, letting the audience know how much her manicure was, her makeup, her perfume, her outfit, her chanel flap bag. it costs a billion to look this good! that’s her marketing money, and she wants to see a return of investment. why would she split a 200 dollar dinner?

the luxury market, while there are some truly luxurious products left, is a lot of perceived value. storytelling, design, logos, brand history, creative directors, fashion magazine covers, hundreds of factors that make someone spend money (that they might not actually have) on something that they don’t need. to status signal, to impress themselves, impress others, to invest, to be part of something, or to spend just for the sake of spending. image influencers make use of the same type of marketing techniques, to market themselves to…. the marketing department. a lot of it is illusion, but they also deal with things that money can’t buy.

(I want to add that many managements defend their dead account influencer’s insane rates with them being image talent and the term really get’s abused now. having a million followers, a blowout and designer bags on feed does not make an image influencer hehe)

thank you for reading <3

listen to my podcast brendawareness on apple and spotify, I get into much more detail on strategy, personal branding and the inner workings of my job and the luxury fashion and media industry.

but not with one that thinks flying in 50 people to do a fashion show with a car is cool, relevant, or even acceptable.

if you know me or listen to my podcast you know that our strategy isn’t really pitching me, which might be a massive oversight but it’s gotten us pretty far. I am more of a focus on your work, but also be delusional and dream big, and the opportunities will come. my other strategy is that I am not working for free. revolutionary! I don’t open my reddits about myself since two years (10/10 would recommend for mental health), but last month when I was on the cutting room floor I saw a preview on google search of a reddit thread about me that said, “she says she’s making the majority of her money with influencing, yet she rarely has paid content, it makes no sense”. you were very close to the point!!!!!! it’s because I don’t do things for breadcrumbs, there don’t have to be that many ads, it’s a quality game, not a quantity game. the better you execute, the more engaged your audience, the more you strategise, the more you give clients feedback instead of just accepting the job with a weak concept, the more you stand for, the bigger your recognisability, etc etc etc. and I always talk about it on the podcast but there are so many misconceptions about “getting the job”, “getting the client”, about having to tag them to get noticed, having to email pitch, having to ask for the coffee meeting, having to go on the free trip. I believe that none of that is true. it’s actually harmful and when you hear someone give you this kind of advise please run the other way. (plus established people doing things for free ruins it for anyone on the come up, too). you work on your content, your point of view, your connection with your audience, that is what the brands are buying into.

anyways the audi email came out of the blue last year a week after that dinner in paris, no prior contact, no pitch, and it was a dream job. they were choosing me to be the social face for their new concept car, and entire new design language, it was epic. I had two jobs with them last year, in milan and in munich and it was kind of a dream job. I wore alaia and the row and rick owens and tom ford gucci and they were on board for all of it, I got booked for being me.

and this week we shot our third project together, that features no car at all.

I hope you like it:

vroom vroom

non salone things in milan: ann demeulemeester opened a store in milan two months ago and I went to see it finally, with a personal tour by stefano! the building or that part of the building used to belong to the church (a church idk) and they kept a lot of the built ins, and painted them black, so even though it is similar to the iconic antwerp store (the beautiful black wooden floor), it has a lot of romantic italian details, and if you are a cool rock bride to be, or are rich with no occasion, there is a gorgeous private upstairs part where you can do made to measure stuff. I also gave them the “do more heels” talk and actually they are working on it. I love the ann homewear things (where ann herself is still involved), I collect the serax tableware. and this lamp is sold out but the price is right so I’d turn notifications on. if you have the budget, I love their sofas. the pictures online of this one look so bad but it’s a dream IRL, and if you’re in milan and have time to see the store, ask nicely if they can show you the private room and you can see the sofa. anyways here are the heels I was obsessed with:

gorge right? and then I finally went to see the umit benan store, oh my god. talk about a private fitting room. the entire store is insane. it’s really phoebe for the boys, except for even better quality and even better materials. I want everything. if you’re a guy, with funds, go see that store. if you spend enough you even get a session with the man himself. the online store is good too but doesn’t do it justice. I ment umit and he was lovely. if you wonder a bit about how can can afford this insane store and how he brought back the brand, here. ok so here a picture of the private fitting room:

this isn’t even half of it, full steel kitchen with bar and coffee, it’s gigantic. basically the dream shopping experience if you have the funds and want to spend an hour listening to music, having a drink, getting shown beautiful cashmere shit. insane really. I don’t really shop retail because I only buy second hand, but if you’re doing a physical store nowadays it seems you go all out or you don’t do it at all. highly recommend going! here are the architects: https://www.instagram.com/martinbrulestudio/ https://www.dessellepartners.com/architects/martin-brule-studio/

the opulence!!!! amazing.

this was a tea ceremony by prada. I would like to do some overhead lightning like this in a future house. not in berlin because the apartment I am renovating already has a ton of light. but yeah I think these lightboxes are actually not that hard to achieve? it doesn’t have to be james turrell precision, just led lights and some kind of fabric on top?

salone basically is experienced on foot, so I was in flats all week. this is an 032c blazer I stole from their samples, peter do pants and loro piana loafers that they gifted to me last year. I am currently reading lena dunham’s book, it’s great so far. watching….. nothing to be honest. I need less screen time. actually and here is what I am reading online, with google translate……. tea. find your way behind the paywall. and about to listen to recho omondi on the how long gone podcast, I heard it’s very entertaining.

that’s that on that, I hope you listen to brendawareness! it’s a 42 minute voice note from a friend, catching you up on everything milan, it’ll feel like you were there.

and today a film with me and audi is coming out, if you feel like wandering over to my instagram in like five hours, go support and keep the lights on in brendahashtagland. ah yeah I keep forgetting anything devil wears prada, I am ignoring the several premiere parties so I am sorry if you’re waiting for me to confirm your rsvp, I just don’t think it’s for me.

have a great weekend <3