But, I really hope you’ll consider jumping over to Patreon for a free membership. I’m planning to consolidate my energies over there for the time being. The way they have the free memberships set up is great. You don’t even need a Patreon account. You’ll just set up a user name and then use your email to set up where you want notifications about my posts to go. Easy peasy.

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And here are a couple variations on that Halloween pinup I did of Jack O Lantern recently. I’m still working on the tutorial and how I want to present it, but I wanted to have a couple of options for folks to either draw along with, print out and color, or just trace for more practice. So I put together a ghost picture, and then had to do a little fanart version with good ol’ Jack Skellington.

Thanks so much for checking it out! Hopefully I’ll see you over on Patreon soon.

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I’m gonna hit a few things in this one to play catchup with what I’ve shared, but I’ll try to keep it brief. So here comes the “short” version.

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Alrighty. As promised, here’s the short version before I share some art!

Free Patreon Memberships

Patreon is finally letting me offer Free memberships. You don’t even need a Patreon account. It’s like signing up for a newsletter now, which I know…you’re reading this on Substack which is pretty much a newsletter. hahaha! I’ve always tried to move my online energies to Patreon because, well, quite honestly, it pays me. Like all of you, I only have so much time and energy I can tap into each day, and I’d love to spend less of that scrambling online to try and bring more folks to my work. I’ve always known I don’t need or want Followers, but I need Supporters.

Being able to offer Free memberships at Patreon is one step toward making that happen. Up to this point, the paywall has made it impossible to make sure that everyone who wants to stay up to date with what I’m sharing can be involved. I get it. Not everyone wants to pay for their entertainment, and we all pick and choose the things that are worth tapping into our limited financial resources. That’s what made social media so great. But…well, it’s just not the same anymore.

Anyway, to keep this short, I’m not gonna get into it any more than to ask you to consider getting a free membership to my Patreon.

Halloween Pinups and Tutorials

I’m working on my first tutorials! It’s something I’ve wanted to do for a while, and my kung fu and tai chi teacher recently talked to me about offering something for our kids at the school. I really miss teaching, so it was a cool step in the direction I want to go. I like the thought of having tutorials for folks to download and work with, but I LOVE the thought of actually getting to have some sort of interaction and coaching with the students. I’m excited!

The first one I’m working on is pretty ambitious in content, but here are a couple of images of the pinups I’m working with. I’m trying to keep everything to a basic template for the illustration, and then adding secondary images and options to the tutorial for a little more customization.

Daily Drawing Roundup

Here are some other Dailies I finished up recently. Hope you dig it. This week was a lot of other work. I had a pinup for a local event, and now I’m working on the tutorial image, plus more Beorn formatting (which seems to never freakin’ end). So nothing new. And I’m trying really hard to crank through commissions and be done with all of mine before the end of the month. So we’ll see if I get to many more this month.

Alrighty! Thanks so much for checking it out. I really hope you get a chance to pop over and consider my Patreon Free Membership deal. I definitely post more over there, and I’m trying to step it up even more!

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I guess the thought of drawing Ady and Eva helps me feel like I get to hang out with them more. But we're not gonna think about that right now! I've got too much to do today to get derailed by being sad. Hahaha!

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No, the real reason for this post is so I can show off the Reuben award that showed up yesterday! I still can't believe it's real. It's actually kinda hard to process it because it's simultaneously such an amazing dream come true, but also that not much has changed around here and I'm still just scrambling! hahaha! But, it is REALLY cool to see it on the shelf.

And it is HEAVY!

Like, I'm actually nervous about making sure I do a good job securing it, because it would definitely kill my kid or my cat if it fell on their heads. No joke. It's gotta be solid freaking metal affixed to the wooden back. Pretty wild. I told a good friend of mine about it last night, and he said it's a bummer it's so heavy because now I'm supposed to take it with me to every convention I travel to :)

The other really cool thing that arrived the same day is a gift from Brad Guigar. He's a cartoonist with a long-running comic series (Evil Inc). He's one of the folks who actually wrote the book on making Webcomics. No, seriously, the book is called How To Make Webcomics and was a really big deal. Anyway, he reached out online and said he wanted to send me a memento from the award ceremony. Turns out he and Dave Kellett were the ones who announced the winner of the best comic book division, and Brad saved the envelope and scrap of paper with my name on it! How cool is that?! I think it's pretty dang cool :)

Just wanted to share those pictures with y'all. I hope you dig it :)

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Gotta make sure to take some time for yourself. Especially when you don’t feel like you can afford it. That’s when we need it the most.

Anyway, I just wanted to share some of my recent Daily Drawings. I’ve been working a little larger again at 8.5x11 (although the Hobbits and Usagi pieces are still 6x9) after experimenting with smaller sized boards. I definitely like getting to smoosh the brush around a bit rougher and play with the shape of the lines a bit more. When the page is smaller, I have to be much more controlled. It’s still fun to work within the confines of that restriction, but not as fun as getting to cut loose a bit and see what happens. Happy accidents with the brush are sometimes the best teaching moment while practicing inking.

These will go up in a Patreon claim sale tomorrow at noon, and then whatever doesn’t sell I’ll pop into my shop soon-ish after.

Here’s another inked piece, but I have some plans for this one still, so it won’t be in tomorrow’s claim sale.

Thanks for checking it out! Hopefully you dig a good art-heavy post. I know I appreciate you being here for it.

Please take a sec to throw me some comments/answers to the questions I bring up this post. I’m working to figure out a few things in regard to bringing value to the world as an artist. I figured I’d start by asking the folks who are already following along as I’m making art and telling my stories. Thanks for your time and input.

I’ll throw in a new Fitz & Brutus comic for you :)

Short Version

I want to bring value to the world and make connections with people. So I want to ask you simply, how do I (or could I) bring value to your life? What of my work do you like? What resonates the most? What do you hope you'll find when I put up a new post? Is it Beorn (or any other) comic process and behind the scenes stuff? Is it finished Beorn pages? Short comics like Fitz? Does the thought of full Beorn comics coming out at breakneck speed make you happy? Are you here for the Dailies and original art? And if so, what do you want to see me draw? Want some tutorials and teaching breakdowns of how I draw and make comics? Is there something you've seen from other creators/artists you think I'd enjoy, but I'm not currently doing?

Please let me know in the comments why you're here. What of my work do you look forward to the most? How can I bring value to your day? To your life?

Long(er) Version

I've been thinking a lot about what sort of value I'm bringing to the world. It's a tough one for me, because so much of my life has been spent teaching, and I truly believe in the value of what I was teaching and the impact it had/has on the folks I taught. I especially love teaching young people, and being able to teach them life lessons through the lens of martial arts for decades now has been a real blessing for me. 

But now, I don't have that. I let go of the last class I was teaching just a little while ago, and I think it's been creeping on me that I'm not directly connecting with as many people/kids on a regular basis. I'm planning to volunteer at Eva's school for a program to read to kids, and I get to hang out with good friends who also do kung fu and tai chi and that inevitably turns into mini lessons and talks about life, so I get to occasionally scratch my itch to teach.

But for the most part, my days are filled with making art. I truly believe sharing stories can change lives...change the world. They can change how we're feeling in the moment, but they can have longer term effects on who we want to be, who we are, in our lives. I don't know if my stories will do that, but I'm certainly hopeful. It's a big part of why I think I'm drawn to telling my stories. When I get to hear from folks about how they felt while reading Beorn, what it meant, what it reminded them of...all that...that fire makes me want to draw as fast as my fingers will let me. 

But I don't get to do that right now. Creating Beorn is definitely my passion, but it doesn't pay the bills (yet!). I get to draw other stuff and share art with folks! It's not necessarily the same as telling a story with Beorn or Fitz here, but it's a real connection with folks. And I treasure that! Even when it's as simple as sharing fanart of something we both love, it's very special and hits home in a really deep way. 

I enjoy all of it! I have things I want to do more of, personally. But my real calling, I think, is to connect with others and help them live their best lives. Right now, I'm trying to do that with art, and I suppose I'm feeling a bit lost and meandering because it's not as direct as standing in front of someone and teaching.

So thanks for helping me in whatever way you can. I've got lots to think about, and I can feel my compass needle twitching and moving, pulling me toward something. I'm excited to see where we end up!

Thanks again so much for being here and sharing some time with me today :)

Just another really quick post to let you know I turned on the paid subscriptions option here on Substack. I’m not going to change anything or put anything behind a paywall here. I just wanted to put the option out there for folks who would like to throw a little support my way to do so here.

I’m trying to make a push of making it as a full-time creator, and every little bit helps. If you dig what I’m doing, whether that’s specifically here on Substack or my work with Beorn, or the fanart Daily Drawings…whatever! If you dig it, think of the paid subscription option as a sort of ongoing tip jar. A very much-appreciated tip jar!

Thanks, y’all!

B

My thoughts have been so focused on Beorn, I've pretty much mentally cut the legs out from under this Sleepy Hollow project I want to tackle. I gotta say, I'm nervous. Basically, there's just a lot of unknowns with everything I keep thinking about...whether Beorn will get to take up as much of my days as I'm hoping, or if I should keep planning on rounding out my art time with other art to sell and side projects like the Sleepy Hollow idea. But, I've just been cranking away on commissions and starting Beorn production.

In any case, I don't want to completely abandon this Sleepy Hollow project. I'm currently not planning on going all-in with it across the next couple months like I was initially thinking. It was going to be an Inktober project where I illustrated my way through the entire book. That would definitely take up the majority of my time each day (it was shaping up to be a lot of illustrations). That would mean pushing Beorn aside, and that's just not where my head's at right now. But, I guess we’ll have to see how things roll out as I start sharing Beorn progress again and then also when I get to start sharing finished Sleepy Hollow illustrations. Who knows what folks will be into and want to see more of?

In any case, I would still love to do at least some Sleepy Hollow illustrations across the next month for Inktober, and I absolutely want to tackle the whole project someday and have a complete, printed version of Sleepy Hollow fully illustrated by yours truly. That would be freaking amazing. And artistically, I think the style I have in mind would really push my inking. So...I still want to do it, but I also want to push Beorn, so...sigh. Hahaha! We'll see what shakes out :)

How about y'all? Any of y'all read the actual short story? I know a lot of us grew up with the Ichabod cartoon and then of course there's the Tim Burton movie. It's definitely a fun Fall/Halloween story. It also makes me miss upstate New York, for sure. I mean...we don't really get the same sort of Fall down here in Texas. And upstate is so freaking beautiful that time of year. Ugh! I miss it.

Hope you enjoy the preliminary sketches. I liked where I landed with the shots more focused in the dense woods, and I really want to spend some time playing in that inky world. The other shots with the more open areas just didn’t quite fit the same feeling. I also dig where I’m heading with the face studies. I want to lean into heavy cartooning for the characters, but try a more scratchy and roughly inked style for the backgrounds.

Anyway, enjoy!

Thanks again for being here and checking it out!

B

Hi there! Thanks so much for being here with me. This one turned into a long one again! Hahaha! I had/have a lot on my mind since this weekend. I put up a Short Version bullet point list if you just want the breakdown. Either way, thanks for spending your time checking it out. Let me know in the comments if you have any thoughts about where I’m trying to head with this. I’d appreciate it. Thanks!

Short Version

• I'm moving Beorn production up as a priority. I've been leaning toward other projects and art due to feelings of FEAR and SHAME, but things have lined up to give me the enCOURAGEment to move in the direction that makes me feel the most excited and fulfilled.

• To help make it happen, I'm going to "presell" the original art pages I will draw each month in an attempt to create an "advance" system so I know exactly how much time I can devote to Beorn over other art to try and sell. If enough pages sell, I can focus exclusively on Beorn production.

• I'll also be launching smaller kickstarters to work on being paid in advance for Beorn production. This won't happen until after current pages go to the printer (SOON!) and I poll current kickstarter backers about their thoughts.

• I'm scared and super excited! Thanks for being here for it, and please, please share your thoughts if you have any!

Long(er) Version

Hi y'all! 

Man, I feel like so much has changed since just this past Friday when I announced the Reuben win. I got to have a few really good conversations with friends and family, peers and inspirations...and all along the way, I was lucky enough the day of "interruptions" that kept derailing my work plans afforded me lots of time to sit with my own thoughts. I got to write a good bit for myself about how I was feeling, my goals and whatnot. I do that a lot. I think it comes from panic, mostly. hahaha! But it helps give me direction. I'm very much a "why" person. I want to know the goal, the thing I'm working toward. That helps inform the steps I can take, and then I can forget about the why. Focus on the steps. 

Throughout that day, and then across the weekend when I was really fortunate to get some extra hangout time with a dear friend I haven't seen in a while, some thoughts came to the forefront, and I felt a much greater sense of focus with where I want to be heading. To be fair, I was super focused before, and was poised to launch into these next few months' worth of projects and plans. But the more I got to talk about what I really wanted, the more I had to admit none of those things factored into it. Into my "why," so to speak. 

The short version of this is I want to create Beorn. It's a big story. It's going to take a fair amount of time, at the most productive of paces. I've languished at the pace of my productivity, but I loved getting to be home with Eva everyday. But now...I have what I wanted. I have my days open enough I can make a serious push on my story. And I'd been thinking of using that time for other things. 

I love drawing fanart and I love the thought of illustrating other stories...both my own and the public domain stories I mentioned. I still have every intention of doing all those things. But they need to be SIDE projects. But I was moving towards them wholeheartedly right now, and I have to be honest with myself and admit they were for two, for lack of a better word, bad reasons. Namely: FEAR and SHAME.

I've been fairly crippled by fear lately. I try not to wallow in it or over-broadcast it...I try to put positivity out in the world instead of focus on the negative...but Ady and I are struggling. Financially. I know a lot of people are, so I try not to put too much of an emphasis on it or talk about it. I know I'm trying something crazy, trying to live a crazy dream, and that can bring hardship. I could pack it up and get a job, but then I'd have to accept that I'll probably die before finishing even Beorn's story, and I have lots of other stuff I want to create! So I make decisions out of fear. I draw things I hope will sell because otherwise I don't know how money will come in. It's a far shot from being paid to create my own stories, to know the money is already there, and to be able to relax into my most creative and productive self. 

And I've been ashamed. It has taken me so dang long to finish this book. When I weigh the years that stress has taken off my life and compare it to the amazing experience of being able to be so present with Eva's earliest years, I still think I did the right thing. But! Man, I wrestle with a lot of emotions around letting other people down. And this has been years of it now. I kept telling myself I would start on the next book when folks had the current on in their hands. And I felt ashamed to even start talking about the new book out of fear folks would have the thoughts of, "what about the one I've been waiting for?" 

Well, I've decided to move past all that. Or at least to try. I know there's no guarantees, but this is where I'm putting my intentions. 

I'm starting on the next Beorn chapter. I essentially have two main points to the plan to help it succeed and see if I can make enough monthly income up front to focus on Beorn each day. If I know what percentage of my monthly income is already taken care of, I can focus appropriately on my project. If it goes beyond my expectations, then I can focus deeply and completely on moving Beorn's saga forward. I can do Daily Drawings and fanart as proper warmups as I have time, and I can focus one hundred percent on my own project. I truly believe it's going to be amazing to see what can happen if I don't have to worry. 

One, I'm going to offer Beorn original art pages for "presale." It struck me as one of the best ways to actually work out an "advance" system like traditional publishing. I don't know anyone else who's doing that, but that just might mean I'm a genius. Hahaha!

Two, I'm going to run smaller kickstarter campaigns. Not for the printing of the project, but solely to pay me for the work. This one I'm going to wait until I have the pages for the current book actually sent along to the printer (should be a decision VERY soon). That will help me feel like the production is out of my hands at that point, and I can move forward with a cleaner conscience (that whole shame thing again). This one I'm hesitant about, so I'm actually going to put up an anonymous survey for Kickstarter backers before I do it. I don't want anyone to feel slighted or upset. Again....shame.

And if those things don't work out, then I just keep hustling. And if hustling doesn't work out, I have a couple ideas for side jobs that would let me still work most days. And if that doesn't work, I get a job and work whatever tiny amount of time I can. I think the superpower in this comes from knowing that I'm going to tell Beorn's story no matter what. This way would just allow me to focus deeply on production and get the books out SO MUCH faster, without having to constantly fight my blood pressure down everyday. hahaha!!!

Whew! I truly got on here to post the blank page one and say howdy. Hahaha! I guess, like I said, there's been a lot on my mind. Thanks for reading (or skimming) this with me. I really appreciate y'all being here to let me talk about these things. 

Now back to work! I've got commissions I'm cranking out today, and then hopefully a little more Beorn time :)

B

Life has been pretty crazy lately. But good! I’ve had some pretty awesome stuff lined up, and at the same time I’m stuck at my desk way more than is healthy right now. I’m trying to round that corner, but there’s been some stuff that needs doing, and there’s no one else here who’s gonna do it! I hope y’all are rocking, too :)

So this just happened. The National Cartoonists Society voted on Beorn as the winner of the comic book category for this year's Reuben awards. And I am absolutely blown away with shock and gratitude. Beorn's response was a little less...well...

Oh, Beorn...

And here's the Thank You I had Red 5 Comics (the comics and trade publishers of Beorn) send out with their Press Release.

It's a wild thing to win this award right now. The production of Beorn has been so much slower than I wanted or expected because of life changes and hardship all along the last couple years. And to have this announced now, when my daughter has started school and I'm out of full-time Daddy mode all day and actually get to work on my cartooning...it's just a weird serendipitous feeling. And this has lined up with other moments and messages from the Universe. 

Life is such a strange balance of instances. Our emotions around them identify them as good or bad, but it's so strange to look at them playing out from a distance and see that balance. Stress and work that still needs to get done...whether by my own delay or someone else's that keeps me from getting things done when I want...balanced with blessings from the Universe...both personal from people you've created a beautiful connection with or from qualifying for assistance buying groceries... All of these simultaneous happenings. Such a beautiful and bizarre thing this life. 

It feels like the “Come Realize Your Dreams” door is sitting there wide open…

Anyway! Y'all know me, I'll get rambling even more about this. Hahaha! In any case, thank you for being here, following along, and supporting my dream of telling these stories I have in my heart. I’m in a bit of a “make or break” stretch right now, so if nothing else, the award has put a bit of a spark in my soul to keep pushing. Y’all being here definitely helps with that!

Much love and gratitude,

-B

I wanted to share these Totoro pictures with y'all really quickly before I get back to work! I've got a bunch of things happening simultaneously right now (including FINALLY getting in the packaging supplies that were delayed so I can send out the original art from the last claim sale).

I decided to some pictures from my favorite Hayao Miyazaki movies, which has turned into a little bit more of an undertaking than I'd first imagined. Well, that's not entirely true. It's just that I'm also really trying to bust my butt and hustle out other obligations. But, anyway, I started the whole thing with Totoro. That movie...it's just so great. So many of the Ghibli movies I love have this great sense of what I've been calling "Cozy Adventure." When I was younger, my favorite was Princess Mononoke, which I still absolutely love, but I've become more and more drawn to the quieter, cozier scenes, and so movies that have a higher amount of that "coziness" really appeal to me. 

Plus, Eva always REALLY loved Totoro. Ah, man....I'm actually choking up now...dangit. Ahhh...We would let her watch Totoro when she was a little tiny baby, and she would come scramble-toddling into the room where we were (if we weren't with her), and she would bring us an umbrella to open so she could have an umbrella during the famous bus stop scene, and she would come and get us to help raise our arms up to the sky in the scene where Totoro and the girls encourage the little seeds to grow. Ah, man. My little baby. Dangit, I miss her now :(

...sigh...

Well, here’s Totoro in the rain.

This second picture, I'm planning to add this to my batch of stuff to color, and I'll add in a bit of color background scenery. I hope it comes out good, because I'd love to offer prints! I think I’ll color both, but this second one sits pretty asymmetrically on the canvas (which I like), but adding the background will help it sit better in posts like this, for sure :)

Oh! Here's my YouTube channel link, if you want to go check out some recent videos. I've been leaning back into the studio chat format, but there are timelapse videos up there as well. I want to get my recording equipment quality leveled up at some point in the near future, but we'll see. I don't plan on making money from YouTube, I just want to offer a nice little opportunity for folks to slow down and enjoy some art...hang out for a chat and relax a bit...so I don't imagine I'll be offering anything of crazy value and attracting the volume of audience that would actually make money. So, I don't know when I'd actually be able to do an "upgrade" of quality. But I'm hopeful :)

YouTube link: https://www.youtube.com/bendercomics?sub_confirmation=1 

Alrighty! Gonna get back after it! Talk to y'all soon. I actually have a couple big things I've been wanting to talk about and some plans I'd love to share with y'all. Let me round this corner, but I think going into September, I finally feel like I'm JUST about where I want to be as far as busyness and a healthy level of scrambling :)

Definitely having fun with this TMNT set I want to do this week. I had planned to paint them all, but honestly seeing the inks for these, I think I'm going to leave them black and white. I do want to see them colored, so I think I'll color them digitally. If those are awesome, I'm thinking of doing some prints! I had planned several months ago to start offering some limited edition prints (or not-limited edition if the process of selling prints goes well again), but we were so swamped it didn't feel like the right time. But now, after having been asked again recently, I'm thinking it could be fun.

I also inked these a little bit larger at 6x9, which was honestly really nice! Getting to open up with the inking is why I really like doing the Dailies in the first place. For the smaller ones I've been using more of my Zebra brush pens which are a felt tip pen so they offer a lot more control than a regular brush, but for these I'm using my Pentel Pocket Brush pen which is more of an actual brush tip with nylon hairs so it's a lot more difficult to control. And I like that! To be fair, I do the bolder lines with the Pentel, but I still go back with a smaller tip Zebra pen for some of the smaller detail work. I can work a little faster and rougher with those pens, so it's nice to help with the spontaneity of the line work.

Anyway! Hope  you dig 'em. Hopefully I'll have the other two brothers finished up soon, too. I'm deep into Beorn formatting for the Red 5 trade right now and should have that out the door and off my plate finally either today or tomorrow. Very big relief, and I'm super excited they'll finally get to move forward with printing.

Talk to y'all soon! I'll have some new Beorn news in the coming weeks. I want to recap where production is at, but also talk a bit about where I see it heading. I'm very excited! And I want to share that with y'all :)

Tomorrow at Noon (Texas time), I'll put up the Dailies pictured below for a Patron-Only claim sale. The way it will work is simple: see a piece you want, comment with the Title (as I've written it, please) and "Claim." One thing I'm changing from previous claim sales is to limit one piece per comment. You can still claim multiple pieces, but please only list one piece per comment. With Patreon not notifying me when comments are edited, it's the only way to make sure each claim has a "time stamp" sent to me. I've had times in the past when a couple folks claim the same piece rapid-fire, and I have to turn to the timestamp of my notification. 

I hope that makes sense. So, if you want multiple pieces, you'll have to make multiple comments. I know that's a little more work. Sorry about that, but it's the only way I can think of to hedge off any problems that might arise from simultaneous claims. Thanks!

One other thing I'm going to add on here is the option to claim a "commission." It will be for a 4x6 request. You just write "commission - claim" in the comments. I'm only going to do three of these. If you win, I'll message you, and you let me know if you want black and white ink art ($50) or watercolor ($75) and you can pick any single character. I'll do that as one of my Dailies, and it goes straight to you instead of going into the next claim sale. I thought this was a fun little experiment to let folks tell me what they want me to draw, but also guarantee they get the piece they asked to see.

Anyway, here are the pieces that will be available, plus maybe a couple others not pictured here I might have time to finish up tomorrow ;)

If you’re interested, please consider my Patreon. Everything not sold will go up in my shop eventually, but Patrons always get first dibs on original art sales.

Patreon link HERE.

Oh! Also, I’m considering activating the paid subscription options for my Substack. Nothing would change. It would just be a way for folks who would like to support my work here to be able to do so. Maybe eventually there’d be Subscriber-only goodies, if folks are into it. Thanks for your feedback!

Well…today’s the day. I took Eva out to her first day of school this morning. I went for my walk around the neighborhood after that, did some thinking, and now…I’m here at home. Alone. And you know what? I’m okay.

It was a fantastic morning. I got to hang out with Eva. She was up bright and early and ready to go like a champ (we’ll see how long that lasts, of course). We had breakfast together (almost actually got to have breakfast with Ady, too), and then we took a nice leisurely walk to her school, which is fortunately right around the corner from our house.

Eva did get nervous right before we got to her school, but we had time to spare so we talked about how she was feeling, and how much fun she’s going to have, and all the good things that are going to happen for her while she’s at school. She was still nervous as we got closer to her class and other kids were around, but she planted a big hug on her teacher and followed right along to put her bag away and get started on puzzles the teachers had out. One other kid was not having an easy time, and when she noticed, I could tell she was starting to get emotional, but we just talked through it again and I helped her with her puzzle for a little bit before I asked if she was ready for me to leave. When she said yes, we hugged, a quick smooch, and then I left her to it.

I was emotional on the very first part of walking away, for sure. I almost backed out of my own walk and just headed home instead of out and about. But…it quickly turned alright. The sunrise was still lovely, there was a cool breeze, and everything just felt…right. Like, this is how it was supposed to be. And honestly, I think it was “supposed” to be like this for a while now.

When I first set out to be a cartoonist and comic book creator…when I launched the first Beorn Kickstarter…Eva had just been born. I drew that first book on a tiny desk in our bedroom basically entirely during newborn Eva’s nap times. I was lucky enough to have a job that paid me a decent enough living and gave me enough time to take care of us during the pandemic lockdown while Ady wasn’t working, and I got to just be a dad and draw. Things took longer than I’d thought, but they were still moving along, and I was optimistic about next steps, so I launched the next Beorn campaign. Then Ady went back to work, and I no longer had the job that was paying the bills.

I was a full-time daddy, trying to still fit in a full-time cartooning job. I tried everything from early mornings to late evenings. But everything I did would help me get work done for a while, and then I’d burn out. Worst of all, every time, every single time…I would realize I wasn’t being the best father I could be. Stress about money…lots of stress about money, if I’m being honest…exhaustion, and a whole slew of Life Events kept my cartooning derailed. But the biggest thing was, if I’m being honest, I cared less about that than I did about being a good daddy.

Day in and day out, she Needed Me. There were things other folks needed from me. Updates, responses…obligations. And they were right. There were things I constantly owed other folks. But with Eva standing in front of me…Needing Me…it was pretty easy to prioritize. Unfortunately, it took a good long while of struggle and stress to just be okay with that and put that decision into perspective. Luckily (ha!) some health issues and deterioration helped me see the light completely on that front.

And so everything happened slowly.

To be fair, it was already happening slowly. But now I allowed it. Oh, it was still stressful and often manic in my mental and emotional center. But now I had the perspective of Importance. And that has been the driving force behind my decisions of recent months. Taking care of Eva has been the calm center of the storm that is my stress and oh-so unhealthy manic sense of obligation.

But now…with Eva starting school…we have come to the close of that chapter. Or rather, with the rising sun Eva and I watched on our walk to her first day of school, we have come to the beginning of a new chapter. A chapter in which I have time for myself. It’s a strange thing, to be sure. Because the time I’m spending on my Self, is often really time I’m spending doing things I know benefit other people. It’s time I get to spend being my best Self. Oh, to be fair, I’ve fought to make time for that a bit more over the past few months. But, nothing concentrated, and it always feels like I’ve stolen that time away from something else that is screaming in the background for my attention. I only made myself fight through it.

Now I don’t have to fight for that time. I have time.

Alone.

Quiet.

Concentrated.

So I’m excited. I’m sad I won’t get the same time with Eva everyday. I truly am heartbroken about that change. But, I get to do the things during my concentrated Self time to allow me to be the absolute best version of myself when I’m with her. I get to be the best father. The best husband. The best version of myself.

I know it will still take a while. I have a lot of things I’m working to get off my plate so I can move forward properly, so it’s kinda funny to feel so liberated and free to move forward. But I know it’s around the corner. And for the first time in a LONG time, I feel like I’m actually in control of taking those steps.

But now…the bummer. All of that excitement is the silver lining on some potentially very dark clouds. There might be a storm on the horizon.

I might only get to enjoy this concentrated time for a little while longer. Like so many others these days, we’re living paycheck to paycheck. And honestly, I don’t even get a paycheck. Because my money comes in via art sales, I never know what’s coming in. At the beginning of every month, it’s a scramble to make enough to pay the next month’s rent. And I’m gonna be honest, it has been killing me. Up to now, it was better for me to keep stressing and scrambling so I could be home to take care of Eva and at least keep moving forward slowly. But now, we’re gonna play it by ear. I’ve finished the art responsibilities for the Beorn Kickstarter book. Formatting, printing, and fulfillment don’t require the same level of daily creativity.

Anyway…

Point is, now that Eva’s going to school and I can actually get in a solid day's worth of creative work. It's like the page has turned and now I get to finally try to make a living as a full-time creative. But, unlike when we first made the decision and we had a little bit of savings to buffer our income, now we're working at a deficit. And I'm scared, and we're honestly one bad month away from me having to pack it in…or at least drastically change things up. It's not ideal, but I'm hopeful. There's something energizing and exciting about having the time and the necessity of "making it." So I’m gonna try to make it. I am incredibly hopeful, and optimistic. Even if things get wonky, I’ve got some Plan B through about Plan D ideas to allow me to keep piecing away.

I will never quit doing this. I have stories to tell, and I spent enough time of my life up to this point NOT drawing. I came back to art and storytelling for a reason. I know this. In my heart. I’m not going anywhere until I’ve told my stories.

Whew! Well, thanks for coming along that little rollercoaster with me! I’m excited. Energized. Motivated. And scared. Thank you for letting me share that. And thank you for all of your encouragement and support. Keep spreading the word, buying art, supporting my Patreon, reading my Substack, and keep an eye out for Beorn books this Fall!

Alrighty. That’s it. Thanks for sticking with me. Here are the promised pictures :)

We are T-minus two Daddy Days away from Eva starting school. I get her today and Monday (and the weekend, of course, but those are both Ady and me so it doesn't feel as "daddy time" as the others), and then she's off to school. We took her supplies to her classroom last night, and she is a fish in water, let me tell you. She immediately started playing, talking to other kids, hugging her teacher, hugging her new "friends"...she is a true gem. An absolute heart of gold.

And speaking of hearts, mine is absolutely shattered. I was up late last night again. I just can't stop. I was thinking about her being gone again. It's so tough. I know it's gonna be okay. I do. But it's like... The thing is, now, I'll see her less than the time I won't see her. And I know that's never gonna change. From this moment, the amount of time I see her each day, week, month, is only going to grow less and less. I know that parents have to watch their kids leave them, but this one is hurting. Going from "all the time" to...well, not all the time. It's tough on ol' Dad here. 

Thanks for listening :)

Anyway, here's the Electric Mayhem Daily Drawings all collected together. I honestly didn't know I was going to do them all when I drew Dr. Teeth. Heck, I didn't even know how many drawings I'd finish this week (side note, I'm actually really proud of finishing even these little ink drawings after so long of having difficulty finding time for finishing ANYTHING). But after drawing the good doctor, I figured I'd draw Animal, and then I couldn't just leave the rest of the band hanging. 

I love the Muppets. With a passion. Jim Henson is an incredible influence on me. I honestly just don't draw them a lot because I'm always kinda scared. I don't know if I have a good "Muppets style" and I'd rather just not draw them than have them come out not looking good. But I'm actually REALLY happy with how these guys came out. So maybe I'll keep working some Muppets into my Dailies. Muppet Mondays, anyone?

Also, I did really like doing a "set" of drawings. I like throwing a random picture in there, too, of course, but having a theme for the week kinda helps me spend less time figuring out what to draw first thing in the morning. I can just get right to it. I have a few different themes I'm planning to do in the near future, but I was thinking I'd start throwing it out for a Patreon vote and let Patrons help me pick what I'm going to draw. If that’s something you’d be into, plus first dibs on the art when it goes up for sale, please consider jumping on my Patreon. (Thanks for indulging my shameless promotion. Hahaha!)

Alrighty! Here, I'll wrap it up by posting the single character Mayhem drawings below. Hope you dig 'em!

Thanks so much for checking it out, folks! Gremlin's up and about, so I'm gonna try to level up to Dad Mode: Supreme while I can. Hope you all have a rocking day and killer weekend. 

Much love!

I’ve been back in a groove of getting in some Dailies (pieces I do to help with my inking), and I wanted to share the most recent ones with y’all.

I’m about to have more time on my hands when my little one starts Pre-K (next week, and I’m very much not ready), but right now I’m still fitting in work between full-time stay-at-home daddy duties. I’m trying to finally wrap up a long-running commission list and I’m so close! But I also haven’t been inking or painting as much, so I wanted to make sure and do some warmups and practice pieces as I get ready to take these last few commissions into their final stages. Instead of doing my usual 8.5x11 Dailies, I opted to go smaller and work at 4x6. The thinking was I’d get it done quicker, get my practice and warmup done and then boom get to work. And it’s been a lot of fun!

The smaller size offers some interesting challenges in inking tools and technique adjustments, but it also makes me think a bit more about composition and design aesthetic. I’m sure I’ll still do some pieces that are just the character in my style, but I’m also trying to play around with more…I don’t know…dynamic(?) shots. I’m imagining the small bristol being like a zoomed in panel on a comic page and it’s helping me think of some new compositions. Having the smaller canvas size helps me not be so nervous about spending a bunch of time on a piece that then just falls apart due to poor execution. With these, it’s okay. And that adds a lot of freedom, I think.

Anyway, here are the ones I finished up recently. Some of these are done with brush pen and some are with a dip pen and nib.

Also, I’ve been trying to keep up with sharing videos of me inking. These have all be turned into timelapse, so they’re nice and quick. I plan to put together a new longer video where I get to chat about whatever’s going on. Thinking about it, that will probably be me at home crying while drawing when Eva has started school. So get ready for that, folks! Hahaha!

Anyway, you can check out my videos HERE on my YouTube channel.

Ah, man. Thank y’all so much for checking it out. Remember, I’m trying to make a run at this full-time now. So if you dig my art, please share it around. If you want to buy a piece, your best bet is to jump on my Patreon. Patrons get first dibs on all original art sales before they go up in my shop. And more than anything, thanks for being here. That is a huge support and encouragement and I really appreciate it. Truly.

Hi y'all! I'm busting butt to get some stuff wrapped up before the end of the month. We've got a whole lot of changes coming in our little house, and I'm simultaneously excited, terrified, and honestly a bit emotional by all of it.

Upcoming life changes and thoughts!

One, Ady finally landed a new job. She's been hunting for something for a LONG time now, and it's been a huge stress on us around here. The job market is a weird thing right now. I know multiple people who are incredibly qualified who have had a heck of a time landing a decent job. Poor Ady's been on a rollercoaster for over a year now trying to get something to pan out. She finally got a cool new gig at a local school. It doesn't really pay much more, so unfortunately the financial stress is still sitting in the back of our throats, but she's super excited for this next step, and the hours will fit much better for us to be together now that Eva is also starting up her own new adventure...

Two, little Eva is starting preschool! It's super exciting, but Daddy here is...well...I'm just not ready. Even typing this, I feel like I'm just gonna break down. There are lots of emotions and thoughts wrapped in this one for me. I've been home with her just about ever single day of her life. She's my buddy. She's my everything. And now I just have to send her off and hope the people I'm leaving her with with take care of her the way I would. Not easy. She's just still so helpless in so many ways. I'm honestly terrified. I know she will have an absolute BLAST. This kid is a complete social butterfly with a heart of gold. I cannot wait to hear about all the fun she gets to have. But...yeah....that other feeling is deep in there underneath it all. Ugh.

Now, that being said, the big silver lining of all that is: I get my days back. This is no small thing. As it stands, even not considering all the craziness life has thrown our way over the last stretch, my days are filled with being a full-time (read: exhausted) Daddy. If I fit in work for the day, it's either a little bit here and there as Eva's needs allow, or I'm trying to pack it in during overly-exhausted hours when I'm just quite frankly no good. Having upwards of SEVEN HOURS to myself every day is going to be huge.

I'm trying to clear my schedule before that time hits (Eva starts school in about three weeks), but a few of the things I'm trying to wrap up depend on other people right now, too. Coordinating with other parties on Beorn publication, printing mailout merch, etc has been a constant slow-down on top of the existing delays. But I'm making sure to keep my energies on wrapping up my commission list, and getting the next Beorn chapter ready to roll so I can start art production and sharing new pages. It's been exciting and stressful.

I feel like my life has been existing at two speeds for so long now. In some ways, things have happened fast. Too fast. All the recent hardships and slowdowns constantly coming out of left field make me wish things would just stop for a minute and let us catch our breath. Having to magically materialize enough money month after month to pay rent and bills for so long now just makes time fly by. But on the other hand, so many of the things I've been trying to accomplish have been grinding along at a tectonic speed. It's been killing me (probably literally, I feel like I've aged about ten years in some ways), and I want those things to just be over and done. I'm so ready to move on to the next step of things, but I also want just a moment to breathe.....

...oof! Anyway! I feel like that's coming. Eva going to school is the ending of this little chapter in our lives. My day to day is going to look a lot different soon. I hope that means I'll be able to put my energy into bringing those two life speeds on track with one another and find more balance overall. I'm definitely excited about what it means for my productivity and the pace at which I'll be able to start telling my stories, especially Beorn! I started actually putting Beorn's story out soon after Eva was born. Now she's starting this next chapter in her adventure, and I guess I'll get to fill that emptiness every day while she's gone with telling stories. End of one chapter, beginning of another.

These are some Fitz & Brutus comics I’ve done recently. I really dig getting to draw these guys. Being able to fit in a single panel comic is really nice because it’s a little bit more storytelling than just doing a single image with no real (or obvious) story. Hope you enjoy them!

Folks always ask me if I’m going to color these, so I colored one :)

Click the images below for some timelapse inking videos!

Alrighty! Thanks for checking it out! If you dig my work, please remember to spread the word. Share the Substack link, point folks to my Patreon where I make the majority of my regular art income, and tell folks on whatever social media you frequent. I really REALLY appreciate it, and thanks so much for being here with me!

I love getting to draw both Hellboy and Usagi Yojimbo. I work them into my fanart/Dailies regularly because they make me so dang happy. I had a lot of fun with all of these. The Hellboy was particularly fun to get a little crazier with the inking around him. The faeries I tried to keep to how I've seen Mignola draw them. I really love how little detail he puts on them. Somehow it adds a good translucent sort of quality. Anyway...it was a lot of fun. I don't know if I'll ever get Hellboy "right," but I always have a lot of fun playing with how I would draw him. Man...getting to draw a Hellboy book my own way would be so freaking fun.

Usagi and Totoro was a cute little idea. And it turned out to be really popular on my Twitter. I never know what's going to do well. I got well over 12,000 views and way more Likes and engagement than I think...ever. I know other folks blow those numbers out of the water, but it was kinda funny to see it happen. Also funny that I know those numbers don't really mean anything. hahaha! And sure enough, the same picture barely picked up any traction on other platforms. So weird. But also not surprising. The internet is such a weird place, y'all :)

And I love drawing Happy Usagi. I could just draw him chilling and living a simple life everyday. I think he'd really appreciate just getting to sit back and enjoy munching on a good, juicy peach.

And here are some others that I don’t think I ever really got around to sharing here. Hope you dig ‘em!

Alrighty. Back to work. Ady actually stayed home to take care of Eva today. I miss them, and honestly my soul feels a bit more empty when I don't get to spend these "extra" moments with them both. But, the whole point is to let me get a little more work finished. We'll see how long I can keep today's momentum going. Wish me luck!

B

Thanks so much to everyone who's reached out and checked in on me. I know I've been absent for a good while. We've had a lot going on. I don't care to get into it. It's all just been piling up, and I wouldn't even know where to begin at this point. But recently Ady and I had a really good talk that led to some actual motivation, and more importantly strategies, to just start piecing away at some normalcy again. So here I am...piecing.

I have drawn and created embarrassingly little, for one reason or another. But during this stretch, in one of my attempts to dig myself out of it, I found myself writing about these two little guys. A little wizard named Fitz and his friend Brutus, a dragon.

Their voices felt very different from other similar characters I'd written for comic strips. Beorn, Z, Ping...they all have something different and unique about them. And now I've gotten to know Fitz and Brutus a little better. I don't think it would have happened if I hadn't been in the emotional and mental state I've been in of late, so it's a sort of silver lining. So these two will always be special to me for that. I've written a chunk of little comic strips with the two of them. Most are one panel, but some of them might have to actually be taken into a strip format. I'd find myself grabbing my phone in the middle of sleepless nights, or popping awake with something in my head and just had to get it down. So I have a number of strips. We'll see if I get to them. I'm going to try and put some down as I can. It felt incredibly good to get a picture finished. I used some different tools for this one than my usual brushes. I was trying to give myself things outside my routine so it was easier to break any sort of blocks I might have run into. I used the dip nib that was already loaded up in my pen (I don't know what number/type it is), and I made a point of hand lettering with whatever lettering nib is already loaded in my other dip pen. My hand lettering always feels like it needs work...because I never work on it. So maybe this will be a good excuse to practice a bit more of that.

Anyway! Hope you dig this. I'll definitely have more to share soon. Getting some ink on paper, and now sharing it here with y'all is definitely helping me feel a bit of lightness in my chest that I've been needing!

Much love!

B

Conventions are always inspiring for me. I love getting to meet new folks and catchup with others I haven't seen since the last time. I even get to run into Patrons every now and then, which is extra awesome!

Any time I'm struck with inspiration and all the questions of, "what do I want to do with my art? What makes me happiest? How can I best spread that happiness?" ...those sorts of things... I always come back to my big goal of doing a comic strip. I don't know how or when, or even if, it will ever happen, but I already have a few ideas that are very dear to my heart. After all, I think they have to be. If you're going to commit to doing a long-running strip, especially if you're thinking of the seemingly godlike level of an actual daily strip, you have to LOVE the idea!

This morning, Facebook Memories popped up some of my old Ping and Caesar sketches and tests. For those of you who don't know, I've practiced and trained martial arts most of my life. The art I've done the longest (and currently) is kung fu and tai chi, and to say it's shaped who I am would be a huge understatement. So along the lines of "write what you know," Ping is incredibly dear to my heart. His and Caesar's adventures and interactions together are the child born of my love of newspaper strips combined with my lifetime of tai chi, kung fu, taoism, and internal transformation. 

Going into this year, I'd thought a lot about what I wanted to do with my creative energies, and one of the big things I'd considered was Tao Te Ping. I have a few different ideas kicking around still of what exactly that would look like, so I decided to not rush it and overcommit. But I got to thinking about it after this weekend's conversations and inspiration, and then in that weird way the Universe tends to do, she sent me a message. Granted, she sent it via Facebook, so who knows how reliable that is! hahaha! But, it was pretty funny, and definitely struck me as something to pay attention to and let my mind wander down that road. 

We'll see where we end up! I'm nearing the moment I've been dreaming of, the moment my plate of obligations, assignments, and deadlines is wiped (relatively) clean. And with that, I'll get to figure out how best to divide and allocate my time and energy again. Maybe Ping will be part of that in some way. For now, I'll just share these older tests. 

Note: the names are from tai chi and kung fu forms. One of the things I do really want to draw at some point is a diagram of one of our tai chi forms, but use Ping as the model. You always see these classic diagrams of forms, and I think it would be a lot of fun to cartoon one :)

Alrighty! Hope y'all have fun with that! I have a few other fun posts I'm hoping to get out this week, so keep an eye out for those. 

Much love to all of y'all!

-B

So! I’m lining up things for the release of the Beorn black and white webcomic, and one of the things I want to do with that is create some Making-Of materials. Each chapter, I’ll have some behind the scenes and process stuff available for folks to check out. I’m not exactly what sure what that will look like, and I know there will be a decent amount of overlap from chapter to chapter since my process is pretty much the same each time (although, it’ll be cool to see how that might change as I need to learn new things for stuff that comes up in later chapters), but I am looking forward to a few ideas I have to keep it a little fresh, and maybe add something new that I don’t see get included in a lot of other folks’ process materials.

Anyway! With that in mind, I wanted to share some of my tightened pencils from a couple of the recent pages I inked. I removed the lettering to help remove spoilers and details.

This is about as tight as I get my pencils. I have multiple pencil stages. When I first layout and letter the page (I do that first!) my pencils are incredibly rough. I just throw down some shapes so I can start making sense of the art I want to see in each panel. Then I do what I call “Drawing.” Hahaha! No, for real, I distinguish between Rough, Draw, and Tighten during my penciling process. Drawing is when I start really scribbling on the page and try to find the lines that are the most fun for whatever I’m trying to get across. Finally, I’ll go through and tighten everything up. Luckily, I pencil digitally, so I just pop in a new layer, turn down the opacity on the scribbly drawings, and then do a new pass where I try to accentuate those “good” lines.

When I was inking digitally, I would just ink during this tightening stage. But now that I’m inking traditionally again, I need to take the time to tighten those lines up before moving to inks. I’m just not practiced enough to ink over my really rough or scribbly pencils. I used to agonize over being able to draw straight to ink, or at least with as minimal of an underdrawing as possible. So many of the artists that I love have talked about keeping their pencils loose so they get a good spontaneity with their inking. They do a lot of their drawing in the inking phase. I just can’t do that right now. So for me, the inking phase is really about using the brush and ink to bring out the aesthetic I want to capture.

Again, I used to get down on myself about it, but then I just accepted this is my process right now. If I want the page to be the best I can actually create, then this is how I have to do it. Funny enough, when I got to see some original pencils from some of my favorite bande dessinee heroes, I was amazed by how incredibly tight the pencils were. I shouldn’t have been, but it was my own assumption that all inking masters were dynamos and drawing straight to the page with ink. Nope! These guys were basically drawing the page twice! Once with pencil and then once with ink. So, I landed on basically the same thing, and accepted that if it worked for them, it was okay for me :)

Anyway, here are those pages…

I hope you dig these pages. I’m looking forward to sharing more process stuff here and there. Mostly I’ll keep that kind of thing to my Patreon, at least it’ll be there much more frequently, whereas here I want to keep more of a newsletter. But I want to always keep Substack folks in the loop as well!

Let me know in the comments if you have ideas for things you’d like to see in a Making-Of book for comics, or maybe other creators who you know of who put together a really nice behind the scenes/process sort of sketchbook/artbook.

Talk to y’all soon!

-B