When I was in my early 20s, I discovered Amélie. I don’t remember how I came across it — I grew up in a small town that wasn’t big on French films — but I’m guessing it was MySpace. It was 2005, and I had discovered a small community of artists and writers writing on Blogspot and was downloading tracks from bands I found on MySpace. Until then, my world had been so small, and learning about these people who were creating cool things and listening to artists that weren’t on the radio. It was one of my first invitations to see a wider world than the sheltered version I was raised in.

I vividly recall purchasing the Amélie DVD from Borders Books (RIP) along with Beck’s album “Guero.” Both were excellent choices, and I felt very cool. I got frozen yogurt and then settled in to watch Amélie.

If you haven’t seen the film, it follows Amélie Poulain through various adventures across Paris. She finds a box of childhood toys that belonged to the former occupant of her flat and makes it her mission to return it to the owner. When she sees how delighted he is by receiving his old toys, Amélie makes it her mission to improve other people’s lives in small, yet meaningful, ways. Amélie’s journey is full of whimsy and clever wit, set against Monmartre (one of my favorite neighborhoods in Paris). Ultimately, it’s a film about paying attention and noticing things — mostly what others need — and helping create joy.

When I saw it for the first time, I was barely an adult. My life had been small and sheltered. I was on what I believed was the right path: working towards a career, married (to a vile man, a story for another time), but in search of a bigger life. Amélie opened my eyes to a world I didn’t know much about; specifically, it ignited my dream of going to Paris, but on a different level, it reminded me that paying attention and trying to brighten other people’s days are two positive ways to move through the world.

Upon watching it again, 20+ years later (up until recently, it wasn’t streaming and I abandoned my DVD player years ago), I was reminded of young me, trying to figure out who I wanted to be in the world. I think she’d be proud to know that I travel, that I have an iPhone camera roll full of flowers and sunsets and small things that bring me joy, and that I try every day to show up as thoughtful, loving, and kind for those I love (and those I don’t know yet).

If you have the chance, I highly recommend watching something that shaped your world view when you were younger — let it remind you of who you were, and how you got here.

What are your nostalgic films/albums/experiences?

If you’ve been reading here awhile, you know that I love Tower28’s products (big fan of the SOS Rescue & Relief Body Wash, the Shine On Lip Jelly, the Getset Pressed Powder, and the Make Waves mascara) and they’ve given me a code for 15% off. Use code AMY15!

Similarly, I’m a huge fan of Geometry and their beach towels, beach blankets, and tea towels, and if you use code AMY15, you can get 15% off! I’m planning to get myself this gorgeous tablecloth and linen napkins.

Two of my favorite pairs of shoes are on sale at Nordstrom Rack right now: certain colors of the Birkenstock EVA sandals and my dream sneaker, the Nike Pacific! I wear both alllll summer long.

I’m dedicated to neutrals, but the warmer weather has me wanting to be in color all the time. I’m eyeing these striped pants (how cute would these be with a simple tank?), this fun romper, and this bright dress!

I’m an EBY superfan and their new Lucy bra is so cute and this matching bikini? Hot. Use AMYE15 if you’re looking to pick up some cute new lingerie!

You can find 2024’s recs here and 2025’s recs here.

I look forward to writing this post allllll year. I love summer! Despite my unending love, I realize it’s a hostile season, and some accoutrements make it much easier to survive the heat.

Here is an updated list of my favorite things for summer:

Clothes

1. I wear this Kai High Neck Tank Dress at least once a week each summer. I love it because the dress is light enough to keep me cool but high-necked and work-appropriate. It’s great under a cardigan or denim jacket, but even better alone. The simplest way to feel pulled together!

2. I am also a big fan of this Athleta Signature Ribbed Maxi Dress. I can rarely pull off a shelf bra, but this style works for me. This cute and casual dress looks adorable with a baseball cap and a denim shirt or on its own with Birkenstocks.

3. AGOLDE Parker Long Shorts are my forever love (I have them in denim and in white) and look good on literally everyone! That said, AYR’s Sure Sure are quickly climbing the list. They’re slightly shorter without being too long and I love their more structured feel.

4. I wear a ribbed tank top nearly every day in the summer. My favorites are Pact’s Perfect Rib Tank (thick, slightly longer, and holds its shape), Lululemon’s Hold Tight Tank (sooooo soft, slightly cropped, keeps me cool), and A New Day Ribbed Tank (literally $5-$8, cannot beat it, I own a million and wear them for sleeping, exercising, and living).

5. I dread the swampy feeling of pants so I like things that are loose and breezy. My favorite summer pants are Ruti’s On-The-Loose Work pants (I am obsessed!) and I’m newly obsessed with these Lululemon Breezily Mid-Rise Cropped pants.

6. Vuori’s Performance Joggers are my favorite soft pants ever (expensive but worth every penny) — I wear them ALL THE TIME — but their Villa Shorts are my new favorite thing. I’m eyeing the Azure and the Emerald, but as we all know, I’ll likely end up with another pair of black.

7. I was unsure if I could pull off jorts, and I’m pleased to report that I got these Madewell Essex long, baggy shorts, and I love them.

8. If you haven’t tried Thigh Society’s Cooling Shorts, you’re missing out. They are the best under dresses or skirts — they keep you from chafing and really do keep things cool.

Makeup

1. I can’t stop talking about how much I love Tower 28’s Get Set Pressed Powder. It keeps me from looking shiny all day. Highly recommend!

2. I am a big fan of Saie’s Slip Tint. My goal every day is to look like a dewy princess, and this makes my skin glow. I like to wear it over Dr. Jart’s Tiger Grass Correcting Cream, which color-corrects my redness, which is especially pronounced in the summertime.

3. Sweed Beauty’s Cloud Mascara is the best mascara I’ve ever used. It doesn’t clump or smear, and it stays all day, even when I’m sweating. I’ll be wearing it alllll summer.

4. I am extremely pale, and during the summer, I need some color on my face. I am also extremely bad at doing fancy makeup, so Saie Sun Melt Bronzer is my dream product. It’s easy to apply and blends well. I do highly recommend the Big Buffing Brush — it’s the best if you, like me, aren’t big into makeup.

5. I bought this Laneige Juicepop Box Lip Hydrating Oil Lip Tint (what a name!), and I love it more than I expected to. It’s lightweight, but moisturizing. I have the KPop pink because I like a brighter color as it gets warmer, and it’s the exact right amount of color.

Body Care

1. The best sunscreen on earth is Supergoop Play! It goes on smoothly, isn’t sticky, and doesn’t have an overwhelming scent. Because we spend much of the summer in our pool, we usually buy a jug of it and keep it on a credenza by our back door for easy access (for guests and us!) as we head outside.

2. Megababe Thigh Rescue is a desert-island product for me. You can apply it between your thighs (duh) if you’re prone to chafing, but I’ve also used it with sandals I haven’t broken in, on my shoulder if I’m sweaty and my bag is rubbing against the same spot all day, and for any outdoor workouts. I’m intrigued by their Thigh Rescue Gel, and will be adding it to my arsenal this summer. I’m also a daily user of their Bidet Bar, and it’s even more vital during the summer (swamp ass season!). I hate being sweaty!

3. I have sensitive skin, and the heat causes me to break out into little heat rashes. The only thing that saves me is Tower 28’s SOS Rescue and Relief Body Wash. It’s super gentle and extremely soothing for all skin types. If you’re prone to eczema or any sort of itchy skin, I highly recommend it. Their SOS Rescue Spray is also amazing for soothing your skin.

4. Skin Trip Lotion is my all-time favorite coconut scent. It’s the lightest lotion and smells so good — it’s THE BEST summer lotion without being sticky.

5. For most of my life, I’ve been famously bad at applying self-tanner, but Saltyface has changed all that. I love their tanning water for the face and their tanning foam for my body — the formulas are incredible, but their brushes are next-level for applying them evenly. HIGHLY recommend their Body Set and their Face Set because they each come with the tanning water or foam and the perfect brush.

6. I have fallen in love with my Meridian trimmer. It’s super effective, holds a charge forever, and is waterproof. I shave daily in the summer, and this makes it so much easier.

Miscellany

1. I drink electrolytes every day. Between some medication I take and daily sweaty workouts, I feel much better when I’m keeping my body balanced that way (for my fellow chronic fatigue friends, it’s helped my inflammation a lot!). I am currently obsessed with Proper’s Hydration Boost (specifically the Watermelon Berry). I love it because not only does it have electrolytes, it has trace minerals like zinc and magnesium.

2. Geometry sent me this Beach Blanket and we used it for the first time this weekend to give our besties’ baby a place to crawl around. It’s so soft and was absolutely perfect! If you’re looking for a picnic or beach blanket, look no further! Their beach towels are also fantastic. Recommend!

3. Speaking of Geometry, I have this Cool Grid Tablecloth and matching linen napkins on my list for summer entertaining. Everything they make is high-quality and I love the brightness of this pattern!

4. I’ve been using Innersense products on my hair lately because my curls are BACK and I’m especially loving their “I Create Curl Memory” gel and the “Quiet Calm Curl Control Cream.” My hair tends to get very dry in the summer, and I love that these hydrate without weighing my hair down.

5. Kits sent me some amazing glasses and a pair of sunglasses, and I am obsessed with the sunglasses! I like to have a million pairs of sunglasses around because I lose them, but I’ve been guarding these with my life because I love them so much.

Do you love or hate summer? What gets you through it? I love recommendations!

I was catching up on Olivia’s (excellent) Substack and loved her post about 7 slightly silly lists, and decided I’d do one of my own. I feel a little frenetic this time of year, and since I can’t get my brain together to write a coherent post, lists seem like a good way to go!

Favorite songs from “The Great Divide” (Noah Kahan’s new album):

This album has an absolute chokehold on me. Here are my favorite songs, not necessarily in order:

1. “Orbiter”

2. “Doors”

3. “The Great Divide”

4. “End of August”

5. “American Cars”

6. “Staying Still”

7. “23”

8. “All Them Horses”

These are my favorites, but it’s a pretty solid no-skips album for me!

Small things bringing me joy:

1. The Toasted Coconut Cold Brew at Starbucks

2. The hydrangeas in my backyard blooming

3. The smell of sunscreen being part of my life every day (lunchtime supervision!)

4. The last season of Hacks. I can’t believe it’s ending, but I have loved this season. “Montecito” is one of my favorite episodes of television EVER

5. New Flair Pens in fun colors

6. The crow friend that visits my backyard

7. Seeing the sun starting to rise during 5 AM workout classes. I love early morning sun.

Things that filled my cup this week:

1. A lunch date with my wife!

2. Spontaneous post-workout coffee with my best friend

3. Time with a coach/mentor at work — I felt very supported and encouraged

4. Making the leaderboard for a 1,000-meter row at Orangetheory. I’ve never once been on a leaderboard or been an athlete in any sense, so it feels extra fun. I am only a little mad that I had to stop three times because my hamstring kept cramping, thanks to a killer Bodyrok class the day before.

   

5. A co-worker bringing me a Blizzard after a long day!

Things I am looking forward to

1. A trip to SF with some friends in a few weeks to perform in Mortified and have a little adventure

2. Taking a Risograph class tomorrow night at a local art studio

3. The weather warming up enough to spend afternoons and evenings in the pool — nearly there!

4. Going to Portugal next month (it feels crazy to type that!)

5. Getting into a writing routine once summer hits — I miss my novel

Things currently on their way to me that I’m excited about

1. I’ve been a die-hard fan of Cadence’s capsules for traveling — they never leak! Cadence was kind enough to send me the adapters for their medium capsules to make packing my toner and other liquids easier AND their parcel system to contain all my capsules and other essentials. They have magnetic closures and also connect to each other magnetically! Super excited to be organized next year! If you’ve been considering upgrading for any travels, Cadence is doing 20% off site-wide and 40% off parcels for Memorial Day Weekend! Don’t sleep on this!

2. These Madewell jorts! I’ve been intrigued and finally pulled the trigger. I will keep you posted.

3. AYR, maker of my FAVORITE T-SHIRTS OF ALL TIME, is sending me their Sure Sure shorts and this chic linen tank top and I think they’re going to become quick favorites.

Things I’ve pinned recently that I love

Things I fear I’m going to make my entire personality (aka obsessions)

1. Bullet journaling — I’m losing my mind right now with so many things to do and this seems like a beautiful way to control the chaos. Will it be better than my random to-do lists everywhere? WE SHALL SEE!

2. Hyrox — My best friend and I are thinking of doing a doubles race in September. If anyone has thoughts, please let me know.

I’d love to see your silly lists! What’s going on for you these days?

For the friend who loves the beach or pool/drives your kids to soccer/deserves a fun treat:

A Geometry beach towel: these are the most lightweight, absorbent towels I’ve ever used — the easiest thing to throw into a bag.

An adorable tote: Brightly colored stripes plus customizable initials, which makes it feel a little bit more special.

A jug of sunscreen: Supergoop’s Play Sunscreen is the best. A jug of this for a friend who loves to be outside is a seriously great gift.

A portable speaker: For the vibes, obviously.

A snackle box: A snack kit that keeps sand out! Fill it with fruit. Or candy.

For the coolest teenager you know/your kid’s babysitter/a high school or college grad:

This tote: Jelly stuff is back, and this waterproof tote with a bow AND a waterproof phone case is amazing for wherever summer takes them.

A lip gloss that hydrates: This lip oil delivers just enough color and hydrates well.

A keepsake necklace: This Thatch charm is so pretty and feels special without feeling too mature.

The “it” water bottle: Owalas are everywhere, and for good reason. They don’t leak and come in such fun colors.

A cool paracord necklace: Every time I wear this necklace, the kids at my school compliment me. Any teen would love this.

For the friend who always hosts:

An adorable and absorbent tea towel: A baked treat wrapped in a cute towel? They’ll love the treat but also think of you fondly every time they use it. I love the bookish one (maybe for the friend who hosts book club, with a Bookshop gift card?), but this strawberry one is absolutely adorable.

Tinned fish: A great pantry staple with adorable packaging. You could even add these tongs for plucking fish right out of the tin.

A cute serving platter: Anyone who hosts regularly is typically in search of cute serving ware. I like this one for outdoor dinners.

A reusable glass with a lid: For her iced coffee, juice, or cocktail. Tons of cute options for the icons!

The best-smelling candle: I’ve given this candle to a few friends, and everyone loves the earthy, woodsy scent.

A renewing face mask: This Tata Harper mask is magical and provides an instant glow — but its clean ingredients mean it’s not too harsh. A face mask, a bath soak, and a bottle of something bubbly make a great hostess gift. Tata Harper is generously offering a 20% discount with the code AMY20, and you can see all my favorites here.

For someone who needs a treat (even you):

A truly cold face mask: I love this Cryo Mask from Clarins. It tightens and feels amazing. Keep it in the fridge for those hottest summer days.

A bold necklace: I’ve seen these Bauble Bar necklaces all over, and I wear the ones I have all the time. So fun! I also like the smaller version for a more understated look.

The best sleep aid: I was skeptical about the Sleep Crown, but I purchased one, and now I swear by it. It’s the lightest, fluffiest way to block out light and sound. If you’re friends with a new mom, an insomniac, or you need to sleep…this is absolutely THE THING.

Slippers: I am mostly barefoot all summer long, but I do love the softness of these slippers, and the hard bottom.

For your child’s teacher:

A handwritten card from you and/or your child, or a positive email thanking them that includes their vice principal or principal. These are the things I keep forever.

If you want to get them something beyond this, please, make it cash or a gift card — but know it is NOT expected or necessary. I see all manner of cute teacher gifts online, but think about receiving multiple versions from all 25-160 students (not that every kid does a gift, but still). I’ve been in education for 21 years. I promise this is the move, and again, IS NOT NECESSARY.

Gifts for anyone that I love to keep on hand:

A bag charm beading kit: A hit with kids and adults. Truly the most fun present!

A good beach towel: A genuinely good summer gift. Pair it with a gift card to get ice cream or a cute floatie.

Candy: You can’t go wrong with a note, candy, and a $20 if you’re feeling generous.

As someone who has been in therapy for a long time and generally loves therapy, I am frequently horrified by therapy talk. The idea of saying things like “I’m worthy of love” or “I’m capable of hard things” to myself in the mirror makes me feel physically ill. I have never once put a Post-It on my mirror telling myself that I’m beautiful.

For years, I thought I had to become the sort of person who journaled affirmations and did mirror work if I was ever going to develop self-compassion. I decided long ago that I would rather beat myself up every day for the rest of my life than whisper to myself about how the Universe is conspiring in my favor.

This is not to shade people who find these things beneficial! I know that for some, they work, and they’re popular and well-regarded for a reason. I personally cannot take myself seriously, but if that’s your jam, I love that for you!

But when I read things about self-compassion, I see soft camera angles and women sitting in meadows with their eyes closed and their hands over their hearts. Meanwhile, I spend most of my days sweating in a gym or sitting in a very small office with middle schoolers and their parents. There isn’t much dappled light in my day-to-day.

And yet, despite all this, I can confidently say I’ve become infinitely kinder to myself in recent years. I have not transformed into a gentle woman who writes affirmations in a journal and wears clothing that says “Good Vibes Only,” but I have worked on building self-compassion every single day of my life, in a way that works for me.

Mindfulness doesn’t have to sound like a yoga app

The first step in self-compassion is noticing that you’re feeling bad or being mean to yourself. A lot of self-compassion advice tells you to pause and gently ask yourself what you need. Sometimes that works for me. Sometimes my brain immediately turns it into another thing I’m failing at.

But if I say something like, “Girl, you’re crazy!” or “Amy, what the hell are you doing?” it feels lighter. It creates just enough separation between me and the thought that I stop spiraling. Sometimes I even say it out loud.

Just because I’m not asking myself what I need in a calm therapist voice doesn’t mean I’m not giving myself what I need. It just means I get there in a lighthearted way.

Remember that your brain is basically a raccoon

I try to approach my own brain the way I would approach a skittish rescue animal—no sudden movements.

I treat myself like a toddler a lot of the time. I live by a routine: sleeping, exercising, trying to eat at the same-ish time most days (my job makes that challenging), enrichment time in and outside of my enclosure. This is more than half the battle, in my opinion. It’s much easier to be kind when your nervous system knows what to expect.

When I catch myself being hard on myself, I run through a quick checklist: Have I eaten? Am I hydrated? Am I uncomfortable? Does my head hurt? Is there something physical going on here? If possible, I meet the need immediately: water, a snack, Advil, changing clothes, or stepping outside for a minute. If I’m at work, I’ll close my door and breathe for a few minutes. It’s basically giving my grouchy brain some iPad time.

Then, after I’ve handled the immediate crisis, I try to name what’s actually happening.

“I’m grumpy because I haven’t sat down all day.”

“I’m starving, and now everything feels personal.”

“Of course I’m upset. That thing they said was uncool.”

Half the time, naming it takes away half its power.

Say things that make you feel more human

One of the more comforting parts of self-compassion is realizing you are not the first person to feel devastated, embarrassed, lonely, rejected, jealous, insecure, or overwhelmed. Human suffering is, unfortunately, a group project.

Because I am a deeply feeling person (some might call me an emp*th, and for that I sincerely apologize), I can easily spiral into guilt for having feelings at all when other people have “real problems.”

When I catch myself doing this, I remind myself that I am not competing in the Trauma Olympics. I’m allowed to have feelings even if someone else has it worse.

And when all else fails, I will dramatically yell, “WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAPPEN TO MEEEEE?” in my best Bravo Housewife voice until I start laughing. Which, honestly, works more often than you’d think.

Check yourself — and your sources

Nothing sends me spiraling into self-hatred faster than perceived negative feedback from another person. A weird tone. A rude comment. Genuine criticism. A delayed email response. Being a school administrator means existing in a constant stream of feedback and emotion from other people, and if I let it, it could absolutely swallow me whole.

When I catch the spiral starting, I try to pause before assigning myself responsibility for everyone’s emotions. I check in with myself:

What story am I telling myself right now?

What am I actually responsible for here?

Is this situation worth the amount of energy I’m giving it?

I pride myself on being reflective and accountable, but self-compassion sometimes means zooming out enough to recognize that not every problem is entirely mine. Sometimes I am simply the nearest available surface onto which another person is projecting their bad day, stress, insecurity, or frustration.

And then there’s the most important question of all: do I even care?

Do I respect this person?

Do I admire their character or judgment?

Do they actually know enough to evaluate the situation fairly?

If the answer is yes, I slow down and listen. If not, I try not to sacrifice my nervous system for the situation. I remind myself: “That is not my ministry.” Before I dedicate hours of emotional energy to feeling terrible, I try to make sure it’s actually earned.

Treat yourself the way you treat your real friends

I love my best friend deeply. I would do absolutely anything for her. But if she falls, says something awkward, or otherwise embarrasses herself? I will make fun of her lovingly, but relentlessly.

When I hear advice about treating yourself the way you’d treat a friend, it feels corny as hell. I do a lot of encouraging and cheering for my besties, but I will also roast them mercilessly. I like to take the same approach with my own missteps.

I have a dark sense of humor, and laughing at myself is often the fastest way out of shame. Not cruelly. Not in a way that reinforces self-hatred. Just enough to remind myself that I’m a person having a human moment, not a fundamentally defective creature.

Don’t make it worse

I love sad music. My favorite artists are Phoebe Bridgers and Noah Kahan. My go-to cold-weather playlist is called “It’s Winter and You’re A Little Sad.” I tend to absolutely marinate in feeling bad about myself. I like to cue up Holocene by Bon Iver and remind myself that I am not magnificent. Sometimes I’ll start making a list of all the ways I need to be better.

Being miserable feels good sometimes! I’m all in favor of a good cry. But if I can catch myself early enough to stem the tide, I’ve learned that I need to. I put on songs that make me feel good — Silk Chiffon by Muna is a strong option — or watch something funny and resist the urge to undertake an entirely new personality because I made a mistake.

Self-compassion is not about fixing yourself in a Pinterest-ready aesthetic way — it can be silly and concrete. Sometimes it’s just refusing to hand the aux cord to your worst instincts.

Sometimes that looks profound. Sometimes it looks like eating sour gummy candy in my car while telling myself to calm the hell down before I ruin my own day. Either way, I think it counts.

A few quick favorite things to share:

• I found Geometry when purchasing THE CUTEST tea towels from a friend’s wedding registry — HI MOLLY! Geometry reached out to send me some things from their summer collection, including this cute striped beach towel and this chic palm tree beach towel, plus one of their beach blankets (they’re currently out of stock, but I’ll share pics soon!). I also can’t stop thinking about how cute this bookish tea towel would be paired with a new book (or a gift card to your favorite bookstore!) and something yummy to eat and drink.

• I have completely switched over to using Tata Harper products at night. Actives were really bothering my skin, and I see similar results using gentler products. I’m currently loving this new resurfacing mask, and I swear by their Regenerating Cleanser and Bio-Barrier Serum. My skin feels amazing and I’m no longer getting red and itchy! A win-win.

• I will never shut up about my Helix Sunset Elite mattress. YOU GUYS. I have never spent a lot of money on a mattress or put a great deal of thought into what I get. I’ve been missing out. This mattress keeps me cool! It is SO SOFT and my body feels good when I wake up in the morning. Helix is also doing a 25% off sale for Memorial Day. Treat yourself.

• Fishwife was kind enough to send me a starter pack of their tinned fish to try. There’s an albacore tuna with soy ginger in that box that I’m planning to put on some rice and enjoy after the gym tomorrow. Their product packaging is maybe the cutest I’ve ever seen!

• I wore my trusty Anthropologie Rainbow Stone necklace this week, and I get a zillion compliments every time. Trust me. You want one (or several). I’m also a big fan of this one from Bauble Bar.

• I have to remind myself that I do not need another tote bag every time I see this adorable customizable striped one. But dang if a cute AME tote in bright stripes doesn’t tempt me every time.

Hello! I hope you had a lovely weekend, and if you celebrate, a wonderful Mother’s Day. I got to celebrate my wonderful mom for both her birthday and Mother’s Day on Saturday. Yesterday, I got to take my best friend out to brunch to celebrate her! While I am not a mother in a traditional sense, I am so lucky to be surrounded by many incredible moms. I certainly don’t believe in stealing the thunder of moms on their special day, but I do think there are MANY ways to be a mother and a nurturing force in this world — I like to think I do it to some degree in my work, to those I love, and to the kids I’m lucky enough to auntie! And, of course, to my beloved dogs.

Anyway, here are some links for your Monday: things to read and of course, some things to buy.

1. I am struggling with eye shadow lately. I wear glasses, which means that my glasses are constantly smudged with makeup and oil, but I do love a little shimmer on my eyelids. I’m considering this one from Tower 28. Anyone have any suggestions?

2. In her Substack piece, “How To Increase Your Surface Area For Luck” Cate Hall writes: “One distinguishing feature I’ve noticed among people who are unusually successful is that they just try a lot of stuff — socially, intellectually, professionally. It’s the rate of experimentation, the number of shots on goal, that provides the magic, not the percentage of successes, which might be very low at first.” Being willing to try and then actually trying really is an incredible life skill — if you’re not putting yourself out there, it’s hard to get lucky!

3. I just bought these bright shoes to try at Orangetheory. I’m not typically a big chunky sneaker person, but my knees demand padding. I saw another member wearing them and I think they might spark joy with my typical all-black outfits.

4. I really enjoy the Happier On Purpose Substack, and recently, I loved her piece on deepening friendships. I thought her first bit of advice on using regularly scheduled activities was genius, and I can confirm it works! I have one group of friends I do monthly dinners with, another I do monthly brunch with, and regularly scheduled book club. Consistency builds community, especially with newer friends. That said, it’s not just for new friends! My best friend, Kass, and I have regularly scheduled hang outs each week where we typically take a workout class and get coffee or food (though sometimes we just chill on the couch). Other Amy and I celebrate Takeout Friday in our house — it’s a simple routine where we catch up on TV and (you guessed it!) order takeout. I think regularly scheduled, consistent routines build closeness and things to look forward to so well. A win-win!

5. During the summer, I like to forgo my typical foundation in favor of a lighter and easier skincare routine, with a focus on sunscreen. I tend to get a lot of redness on my nose and cheeks, and I swear by this Dr. Jart Soothing Correction Cream. It’s green, which seems scary, but it goes on smoothly and does the job! I like to top it with Supergoop Glowscreen, which is a lightly tinted highlighter to add some shimmer and some SPF. If I want to touch up my face when I’m sweaty, I love Supergoop’s ReSetting Mineral Powder, which is also 35 SPF. I still recommend using traditional sunscreen and reapplying as directed, but the little powder boost certainly helps.

6. I leave for Portugal next month, which seems impossible, but I finally succumbed to this soft Olend Ona bag for my carry-on and to schlep my laptop and notebooks to workshop every day. It can be carried over the shoulder or as a backpack and I love the bright color. I also bought an extra strap in hot pink to make it extra fun.

7. Many of the cool kids I know are wearing long denim shorts again. I’m considering trying these Good American ones, though it feels extra risky since I’m only five feet tall — I fear I won’t look chill, just sort of dumpy and swallowed up. Thoughts?

8. Pact Clothing is some of the highest quality and best around and I’m obsessed with this Coastal Double Gauze Smocked Midi Dress. I have it in red.

9. I normally consider these my favorite summer sandals, but I got a pair of white Birks last summer that are quickly becoming a go-to for me. Highly recommend! They feel very chic.

10. I’ve spent much of the past year hyperfixated on owning clothes that will last. My current favorite classic, long-lasting items are Ruti’s On-The-Loose Work Pants (I take a 4 Petite — they’re comfortable and well-proportioned for my fellow shorties!) and tees from Nation — I prefer The Paulette Tank and The Loren long-sleeve tee.

I was looking for an old photo a few days ago, and I came across this gem from high school. I was not an athlete in any way, but I had the most lovely group of girls in my PE class and we had the most fun in our flag football unit. That year, I decided to play Powder Puff football. I remember doing my hair and making sure my ribbons looked just right, that it was hot as hell, and that we won (or at least I think I remember that part, haha).

I spend my day among teenagers and pre-teens, and I think they are delightful. I often marvel at the challenges they’re facing and how well they’re doing. I remember being that age and how fun and exciting everything felt, and also how the rejections and emotions felt so overwhelming, and how quickly my feelings could change.

When I look at photos of teen me, I have so much love for her. I thought I was ugly and weird and the only person feeling these things, but now I see that like every teenager I know, I was pretty normal, and doing my best to navigate all those feelings.

This week’s list is based on things I would have LOVED as a teen, but the upgraded, grown-up version.

1. My sophomore year of high school, I decided that the perfect first-day-of-school outfit would be a white, lacy, flowy tank top. My mom and I took a shopping trip to Mervyn’s (RIP) and tried on a billion different white tops and tragically, came up empty-handed, crying in the dressing room. Being a teenager is hard. In a far less dramatic turn, I ordered myself this sweet little white tank from Madewell for summer. While I won’t wear it on the first day of school, I think it’s going to be perfect for summer nights out.

2. I am a huge Tower 28 Beauty fan girl. They recently sent me their Getset Pressed Powder. I have a love-hate relationship with pressed powder (still scarred from my time with that medicinal-smelling Cover Girl pressed powder of the 90s) but this is a new must-have. It subtly blurs my skin and has the most lovely matte finish. I’m using the Palisades Pink color, which brightens my pale skin. Everything looks smoother after applying this.

3. I had a big thing for Bonnie Bell Vanilla Frosting lip gloss (RIP) when I was a teenager. I loved the shimmer and the smell so much — that sickly sweet scent and sparkle was everything. I’ve upgraded my lip gloss to Tower 28’s ShineOn Milky Jelly Lip Oil, which is light, hydrating, and provides just enough color. I just got it in Coconut (a milky-rosy pink) and I’m obsessed (my other favorites are Sesame and Wild, which is a glossy raspberry).

4. If you look closely at my Powderpuff photo, you can see I’m wearing one of those black stretchy necklaces that were everywhere in the 90s. I don’t think I’ll ever wear one of them again, but I do love a good necklace. My current favorites are this Bauble Bar semi-precious amethyst one, this gold Jessa Lock piece, and this Anthropologie classic.

5. I grew up in the body glitter era, and that’s a trend I won’t revisit, but I am intrigued by this Kopari Rose Gold Body Oil (SPF 42!) and this Kopari Sun Veil Powder. I haven’t tried any of their stuff yet. Have you?

6. I still love a white sneaker, though I’ve shifted from the stinky Payless Shoe Source ones to the BEST white sneakers I’ve ever owned, which are these Vejas.

7. I distinctly remember this being one of the last times I wore shorts in public for many, many years. Thankfully, I’ve gotten over myself and now love a pair of denim shorts. These AGOLDE Parker Denim Long Shorts are my absolute favorite. I have them in white and blue denim, and I wore them all summer long.

What did teenage you love? What would they recommend now?

I wrote a lovely, happy post about my first experience doing DriTri at Orangetheory.

During my second attempt at DriTri, I realized I was dangerously close to being That Girl Who Pooped Her Pants on the treadmill. I’d completed my time on the floor, rowed 1,000 meters a little too enthusiastically, leaving me totally gassed, and finally was ready to take on my run! I spent the time on the treadmill miserable, hopping off and on to alternate between running and evacuating my bowels, betrayed by my own GI system! I did not set any personal bests in running, rowing, or lifting that day; however, I did PR in public humiliation, because everyone knows exactly what’s happening when you keep rushing to the bathroom from the treadmill.

I finally finished, sweaty, seething, and sobbing. I mean, sure, I finished. I know that should be enough of an accomplishment and I should feel proud and all that, but I WAS NOT. One thing about me is that I hate a pity “good job!” or false cheer when I don’t feel that I’ve done a good job. I was mortified! I didn’t deserve to be cheered for!

After crying about it and having both of my best friends (who are both fitness coaches!) talk me off the ledge and help me see that this wasn’t that bad, I silently resolved that I would never do another DriTri. I remained a dedicated OTF attendee, but figured that I didn’t ever need that kind of humiliation again.

When this DriTri was announced, I was tempted, but concerned: did I want to willingly show up to potentially be humiliated and pissed off again? Could I handle another bout of public mid-run diarrhea?

I’m sure you can guess how this ends. Because I am a Taurus Sun/Virgo Rising, an eldest daughter, and someone who loves to compete with herself, OF COURSE I SIGNED UP.

Competition with myself? That’s my favorite kind!

This time, I chose the Strength Dri-Tri, which consists of 300 dumbbell exercises, 900 meters of rowing, and a one mile run at incline, starting at 8% and dropping by 2% each .25 miles. I’ve been focused on lifting and strength this year, and I feel most confident on the floor, when lifting. I regret to report that I have become a BIG FAN of rowing. Admittedly, running a mile at incline scared me, but I wanted the challenge.

The build up to DriTri had me anxious. I was worried about not being able to finish, and admittedly, that I would have a repeat case of treadmill tummy. I won’t bore you with the details of how I adjusted my training or how I prepared physically, mostly because I basically stuck to my normal workout routine.

Instead, I focused more on my mental state and my self-talk more than anything else. This is growth for someone who once told her therapist that her typical self-talk started with saying things like “Hey, you fat piece of shit…” (sadly, I didn’t get the laugh I expected; instead, I got a deeply concerned expression and some questions about where I felt that in my body! HOW DARE!). I started saying things like, “Feeling uncomfortable doesn’t mean you’re unsafe” and “Your body can handle this” and “You’ve lived through more difficult moments than this one.”

None of my phrases focused on being fast or the best, but rather on trusting my body, reminding myself that I’m safe even when I’m struggling, and telling myself that I’ve survived much harder moments. Admittedly, when my brain gets carried away, I throw in a few, “Girl, you’re being crazy!” or “Get it together, girl” to add some levity.

When I started today’s DriTri, I felt good going out. I didn’t go too hard on the row. I focused on form during the floor and moved fast but not so fast that I was exhausting myself before the run.

And then it was time for the tread. I was tired when I started, but I focused on getting my brain in the right space. Running at an 8% incline is hard! Every .25 miles meant I could go down by 2%, and by the time I got down to 4% I was a little unsure I could make it. When I caught that thought, I reminded myself that I could trust my body to make it the last half mile. In my final quarter mile, I upped my speed, because I knew I could, and also because I was SO READY TO BE DONE.

After what felt like forever, I stepped off the tread and hugged my best friend/coach. I did it! I thought I might cry; instead, I felt calm and steady. I’d proven to myself that I could do it.

I have a lot of feelings about my body and how much it’s changed. I feel proud of myself for being able to complete events like DriTri. I feel joy every single time I pick up a heavy weight — especially when I’m lifting heavier than a man. But the thing I appreciate most of all is that I can trust my body now. I believe in it’s ability to do hard things. I am confident because of the hard work that I’ve put in. My self-talk may not be perfect, but more and more, I can rely on my brain to carry me through.

I know that everyone has their own experience in fitness — sadly, the gym world is not always kind to everyone, and it can easily be toxic and weird. But I swear, there’s something absolutely incredible about feeling strong and connected to your body, and the thrill of doing hard things.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that I’m extremely lucky to have the best support, too. I work out with friends who are the best support and make it so much fun, and my coach is also my best friend. She’s an incredible coach to EVERYONE, but she also knows exactly how I need to be hyped and cheered and pushed. And, for this DriTri, even Other Amy came out to support.

I am going to bed tonight feeling grateful, happy, and proud. And also extremely grateful for antidiarrheals and my support team!

I turned 43 today! It was a lovely birthday. One of the best in recent memory, actually, and I love that for me. I feel very loved and grateful to feel so supported and cared for.

It’s also the start of Taurus season! WELCOME TAURUS SEASON!

I used to feel weird about being a Taurus because we are known for our love of comfort and good food and nice things! I used to think that I should be more willing to rough it and less into bougie things, but the older I get, the more I embrace my Taurean pleasures. I love comfort! I love snacks! I love to be cozy! I love routines! I love nice things — not necessarily designer, but high quality! I like a good vibe, and I like to create them!

Like most Tauruses, I do believe I have excellent taste; as such, I’ve created a list of my favorite things. If you’re shopping for a Taurus, or you want to bring a little softness to your life, here are my recommendations. Enjoy!

1. I love EBY’s Relief Bra — total sorcery. They are supportive and comfortable with no underwire or compression. I just got this pink color for spring. I also love their sheer sets, because they are so beautiful, but also so comfy. I think this Parisian floral sheer bra is perfect for spring. It’s sheer and comfortable like a bralette, but a little more special. If you’re searching for a gift for a bride, EBY has a whole bridal collection right now that’s gorgeous.

2. I’ve gotten very serious about sleep this year. Historically, I’ve not been a great sleeper, and I have worked extremely hard to develop a good bedtime routine, and the coziest possible sleep environment. I promise I will shut up about it someday, but recently, Helix sent me an INCREDIBLE MATTRESS. I got their Sunset Elite, which is soft, meant for side-sleepers, and I also got a cooling cover because I’m a hot sleeper. It came this past weekend, and I am IN LOVE. It’s soft and supportive, and I have never slept better. Having a good mattress is WORTH IT. Helix has a simple quiz to determine what kind of mattress you need.

3. Tauruses are also lovers, and I recently got this adorable “LOVE YOU BYEEEE!” print for my house. If we’ve ever talked on the phone or texted, it’s likely you’ve heard this from me.

4. One of my favorite feelings is taking a BIG shower and applying a thick body butter before I go to bed. I love vanilla scents, and Josie Maran’s Whipped Argan Oil Body Butter in Vanilla Vibezzz is the thickest, most nourishing lotion I’ve ever used. It smells incredible but isn’t overpowering, and my skin has never been softer.

5. I have chronically dry lips, and Tatcha’s Kissu Mask is an excellent remedy. It’s an overnight mask, but unlike others that I’ve tried, when you wake up, you can still feel it working. It’s especially good if your lips are dry, but I use it most nights because it feels so luxurious.

6. I love pink and bows and girly things. This bag from Casemate is my new obsession. I love the bow, and I love the jelly look of it. It holds quite a bit, and has a waterproof phone bag inside. I’ll be using this all summer.

7. My friend Jenn sent me a Chappy Wrap for my birthday a few years ago, and I just saw that Chappy Wrap also makes lightweight blankets for warmer days. I think few things can top the experience of lying under a fan with the air conditioner on, feeling appropriately chilled under a blanket. I’ll be trying the lightweight blanket for this purpose, and for every other cozy occasion.

8. You can’t go wrong with a DoorDash gift card for a Taurus. It’s perfect, and hits every time.

9. I’ve embraced the wide-leg pant this year, for maximum comfort. My newest obsession is the Pact Clothing Airplane Pintuck Wide-Leg pants. They’re so comfortable, breathable, and soft. I bought them to wear while traveling, but I have been wearing them everywhere, because they’re structured enough to look like real pants, but they are glorified sweats.

10. I love jewelry, but I don’t necessarily want diamonds or fancy things. I like something that isn’t flashy, but is a little bit different. I used my Madewell birthday credit to order this Semiprecious Caribiner Paracord Charm necklace, because it fits the bill — I love the cerise!

11. Tauruses do love snacks, and I have a particular affinity for gummy candy. I’ve yet to try Bon Bon, but I’m dreaming about this jelly-marshmallow mix. And the sour mix. Any mix will do, actually.

12. My friend Elizabeth came over this weekend, and she was wearing the most perfect t-shirt. I love a good t-shirt that feels perfect with a pair of denim shorts, and the Quinn by Pilcro (from Anthropologie) is exactly that. I liked it so much that I went and tried it on and then ordered a couple. It is SO SOFT, and looks casual without looking sloppy. I’m especially enamored with this pink and green striped one. The t-shirt does run a little big, so size down if you want something slightly more fitted. I’m normally a solid small (and sometimes medium if it’s too tight across the bust), but in this, I take an XS.

13. I don’t know a single Taurus (and very few of any sign, actually) that don’t love flowers. I’ve been happy ordering from Bouqs for a long time now, and I love this fancy daisies bouquet they have right now!

14. My best friend and I have been going to BODYROK to mix things up, and it’s INCREDIBLE but also SO HUMBLING. Grip socks are required there, and thankfully, Bombas has started making studio socks! I am deeply loyal to Bombas socks, so I am thrilled at this development! If you’re doing any sort of Pilates or barre that requires grippy socks, these are it!

15. Lululemon Align Leggings have been my preferred workout pants for years now. They recently came out with a version that has no seams or lines, making an already deeply comfortable pair of pants and making it even better (especially for those of us sensory sensitive girlies). I typically stick to all black, but this lavender is intriguing.

16. I love a hot bath, and Oak Essentials Dream Bath Soak is my favorite thing to add when I’m winding down for the night. It has magnesium in it to help you relax, and it smells incredible. I also appreciate that it dissolves quickly — never any scratchy salts left underfoot. For a truly elite vibe, their Santo Wood Candle smells beautifully earthy and warm, without being overwhelming.

17. Instagram got me with ads for the Sleep Crown pillow. It’s a slightly weighted pillow that goes over your head to block noise and light, and to soothe your nervous system a la the weighted blanket. I ordered it on a whim after a few bad nights of sleep, and I was sure it would be an instant regret. I got the Traveler version because it’s smaller and lighter, and I was a wee bit nervous about having weight on my head. I GET IT NOW. I sleep so well with it on my head. It’s unbelievably soft, and as someone who gets anxiety around bedtime, it’s changed the game in terms of how I sleep. Could not recommend it more! I want the Classic, full-size version next.

18. I’m still loving my Ruggable! I love that it’s ONE PIECE. I also love that when one of the dogs (Paisley) pees on it or barfs on it (Olive), it’s easy to clean and washes beautifully. It also feels good underfoot, and it pulls the whole living room together. I’m eyeing a new mat for the kitchen sink, and I love this colorful one.

19. I’m in a real hair oil phase, and this Olaplex bonding oil is an all-time favorite for taming flyaways and calming my thick, frizzy hair and making it feel soft and hydrated.

20. Last but definitely not least, Dieux Skin’s new Skin Mercy cream is so luxurious and hydrating. I like to use it when my skin feels dry or after using actives. It feels nourishing without feeling slimy or heavy.

What are your favorite cozy or fancy items? I’d love to hear.

Some of the products in this post were gifted. If you shop using my links, I may earn a small commission at no cost to you. I appreciate when you shop through me. While I may receive compensation or free products, I only share things I truly love here. Thank you!

I’m making an effort to wake up to my life and creativity again. This means that yes, I’m trying to write, but also, I’m just trying to live in a way that feels a little bit magical again. Mostly, that means I’m both trying to consume things that inspire or make me feel joy or sadness or anything at all.

I’ve been keeping a list of things that have made me feel lately. I’d love to hear what’s on your list, too.

• I’ve been a Noah Kahan fan for a long time, and I am eagerly awaiting his new album (coming out next week!). His lyrics always move me; however, “The Great Divide” is a whole new level. If you haven’t listened to it yet, it’s about religious trauma. For me, it feels like an apology I never received. Depending on my mood, it can make me cry because it feels so healing to hear.

• When I was in Chicago, I went to the Art Institute. I saw a lot of incredible art, but the piece I can’t stop thinking about is “Paradise Lost” by Raqib Shaw. The photo cannot do it justice, but it is one of the most incredible things I have ever seen. Painted in four panels, the piece starts with images from Shaw’s childhood and progresses through various transformations.

  I looked at this painting for an hour the first time I went by it. Shaw does an amazing job of packing so many tiny details into each panel, including images that represent himself, all in different forms. The painting is 100 feet long, and I found it so mesmerizing. It made me think about creating new worlds, about my own transformations, about fire and hope and nature. When I walked by the second time, I stood there for another 30 minutes, trying to memorize small details. An incredible piece.

• I love Olivia, and this piece, “Goodbye to all, goodbye to nothing” summed up so much of the work I’ve been doing in my own life to eliminate black and white thinking. I felt so seen reading this line: “And who I am, who I really, truly am, doesn’t exist in all or in nothing, but in whatever the in between is — in rest as well as movement, in noise and in quiet, in routine and spontaneity.” If you’ve ever been addicted to plans, regimens, and constant self-improvement, this is such a great read.

• I’m re-reading The Bell Jar because it mattered so much to me in my 20s. It brings me back to a time when I was deeply sad and unsure of what to do. I still carry the same sadness, but I read it differently now with so many different tools and experiences under my belt. I am forever a Plath girlie!

• When we were in Edinburgh last April, Amy and I went to Dishoom for the first time. Not only do I dream about their House Black Daal every day, I also frequently think about how I felt during the meal. Everyone working there was beautiful; everything in the restaurant was exquisite and thoughtful, and the entire experience felt special beyond belief. For some reason that I can’t quite identify, Dishoom feels important to me. We have a no-longer-available limited edition print in our kitchen, but I recently treated myself to the cookbook, too, because I want to be immersed in how such a special place came to be. Part of feeling things means allowing myself to follow my curiosities, and this is definitely one. The photos alone are breathtaking.

• Tiny Beautiful Things is one of my all-time favorite books. If you haven’t read it, it’s a collection of advice columns from “Dear Sugar,” the advice column that Cheryl Strayed wrote many years ago for The Rumpus. The prose in this book is stunningly beautiful, and the advice is so heartfelt and universal, despite being written for one person’s situation. If I have given you this book, it’s because I love you. I am re-reading it now because it is a book that has the ability to make my brain and heart feel connected and set on the right course again, no matter where I am.

• I am not sure who introduced me to Moon Lists, but since I found it, I’ve been captivated by how unique and thoughtful the posts and prompts are. Leigh Patterson, the creator, has impeccable taste, and I find her way of approaching the world fascinating. I keep returning to this list of prompts about dabbling in transcendence. Reading Moon Lists always reminds me to be more intentional, which is a theme for me right now.

• I’ve often heard people say that they are moved by fashion, and while I certainly love clothes, I’ve never been a designer label person. Recently, Rachel Antonoff was kind enough to send me the most beautiful dress. When I put it on, I suddenly GOT IT. The fabric is thick without being heavy, and every detail is beautiful. I’m dreaming of wearing it in Portugal this summer, and maybe to a fancy dinner or two before I leave.

• Feeling! Magazine is quickly becoming one of my favorite Substacks to read, and I loved this piece about getting your zest for life back. I connected with the opening lines: “The spring, despite the excitement of blooming flowers and warm sunshine, can feel like a sort of Groundhog Day. The excitement from the start of the year and the setting of ambitious goals all fade into a pastel mundanity, where the frustration of unmet hopes simmers politely in the background. Sure, you are on the patio with an iced drink, finally. But something desperate burns in the background. The year is passing by, and the repetition of days feels more like a drag than a routine.” I loved her tips and tricks on reclaiming some joy among the monotony of life — I needed these.

• Another Noah Kahan thing: his documentary, “Out Of Body,” is out on Netflix. Noah Kahan’s songs connect with so many due to their focus on mental health, but in this documentary, he goes even deeper into his family life, his eating disorder and body dysmorphia, and the struggle/pressure of being a creator. He manages to talk about the most vulnerable topics that are sad and hard, but he imbues a sense of hope throughout using his dark sense of humor (LOVE!) and his honesty. I highly recommend.

What is making you feel things lately? Please leave them in the comments — I’m on the hunt!

Hello from the very tail end of my Spring Break! I’m not sure where this week went, exactly. It was a good mix of rest, seeing friends, appointments, and taking care of tasks I’ve been putting off. I can hardly believe that we are barreling towards the end of my first year as an administrator.

I love the month of April! Spring feels real! Summer is in sight! It’s also my birthday month. I never quite know how to feel about birthdays. I don’t know exactly what I want to do or what I expect, but my last few birthdays have left me feeling sad for no discernible reason. In an effort not to have that feeling this year, I’ve made distinct plans (afternoon tea on a train with Other Amy, and a dinner with a magic show with my best friend, who celebrates her birthday two days before), and any other last-minute joy that comes my way.

If you have things you do to avoid the birthday blues (I know I’m not alone!) I’d love to hear about it.

1. “only a softer understanding of what a good life requires. more mutuality, ordinary usefulness, chances to be known beyond your curated best with less pride in carrying everything unassisted. because the truth is, wanting a village is not a sign that you are failing at adulthood. it may be the first sane response to living in a culture that keeps asking one person to do the work of many,” — from this article, “Why Individualism Makes It Harder To Be A Villager.”

2. One of the appointments I took care of this week was getting my hair cut. I’m letting my hair grow out (trying to avoid my usual summer tendency to cut it all off!) and even my stylist mentioned that my hair felt super healthy. I credit (in part) this pre-shampoo treatment from Olaplex. I’ve been using it for a few weeks now and my hair is noticeably stronger and softer. They have it in a set with their bond-strengthening shampoo and conditioner right now, on sale! Highly recommend.

3. I really enjoy the Feeling! Magazine Substack and especially appreciated this article about making birthdays more magical.

4. I am absolutely obsessed with these customizable striped totes from Bauble Bar! Their totes are so high quality and cute. I love these bright ones for summer.

5. I’m also never not thinking about this bag! Someday, I will treat myself.

6. I keep going back and forth as to whether or not I’m too old for jelly shoes. By “too old” I don’t mean aesthetically too old; I mean old like “can I survive a plastic shoe all day?” I’m considering these slip-on mary janes in red or these slides in either pink or dusty blue. Or maybe the tortoise? Welcoming opinions, please!

7. I’m envisioning a raffia bag for wandering around Lisbon this summer. I like the size and shape of this one, but I also love the gold hoops on this one.

8. This piece, “The Case For Hope In An Exhausted America,” was like a salve for my brain and heart.

9. I used to think outdoor rugs were silly and pointless, but then I got one! Now, I’m obsessed with these.

10. I’ve raved for years that I think Bauble Bar’s Bag Charm kit is one of the best things ever, and now, they have mini custom kits! I think this would be so fun to put in bridesmaids’ bags or for an activity at a family reunion or baby shower. Or, you know, you could host a charm party!

11. I’ve become a HUGE fan of PACT Clothing this year, and they have some amazing Earth Month deals right now, including this Airplane Set (that I wear every time I fly — so comfortable!), adorable dresses for $49, and really good deals on their cotton underwear. Everything I’ve purchased from them has been long-lasting, high-quality, and so comfy!

12. Maggie Rogers is one of my all-time favorite artists, and I’m loving her Substack, especially this recent piece on singing and standing still.

13. I’m a gummy candy fanatic, and these Sour Patch Chews are everything.

I start every single post here the same way: what do I even say right now? I mean this globally, obviously: I feel like I’m watching the world burn, and while I am doing my best in my small ways, it doesn’t feel like enough. The Internet has always been a tricky place, and I am hesitant to post because I feel like if I don't share the “correct” opinions with the appropriate level of outrage, people assume I'm not engaged. It feels silly sometimes to write about book club and Orangetheory and my feelings when things feel so dire. Perhaps even more seriously (for me), I am a public school administrator, and that limits my ability to share my thoughts and feelings publicly.

I also mean that I don’t always know what to say on a personal level. While I once took to the Internet to share details of my life with reckless abandon, I am more cautious now, not only because I am older and wiser, but because of my job. I don’t feel particularly comfortable talking about the things I’d love to write about because in a time where people are extremely divided, one “wrong” word or post could have significant professional consequences. Beyond that, I don’t like the idea of people I interact with professionally having all sorts of information about me. The older I get, the more I want to keep some things sacred.

I do genuinely love sharing things I love with you all — it’s fun! It’s helped me hone my own taste and become more thoughtful about what I buy. But that feels tricky, too — is it boring? Annoying? Insensitive due to our current climate?

All this to say: it feels like I am recalibrating my internet presence (along with every other area of my life right now). I’m asking all kinds of questions: Do I disappear from the Internet? Do I write honestly, but put many posts behind a paywall? Does anyone need or want my thoughts or feelings on The World, or am I overthinking it? Should I keep posting links sporadically, or should I lean in and make a content calendar?

I’d be very grateful for your thoughts and comments. Please be nice about it, as your girl is exhausted.

Obviously, I’m going to share some things with you that I’m loving before I go.

1. After writing that my hair had turned straight after significant stress-related hair loss (noticeable only to me as I have SO MUCH HAIR), my curls have now returned with a vengeance. After doing a lot of heat styling this year, I’m loving Olaplex’s No. 3 Pre-Shampoo Treatment to repair my hair. It repairs damage and leaves my hair so hydrated. Obsessed. I’m also very into WOW Color Dream Coat Anti-Frizz Treatment and Fenty Beauty’s Home Curl styling cream for bringing out my curls.

2. It has been SO HOT here — we hit NINETY DEGREES last week — and while my summer recommendations post is already germinating in my brain, I want to remind you of my most essential summer item: Thigh Society Cooling Shorts. They are thin but effective, comfortable, and the cooling material is so nice when it’s hot. I have multiple pairs of the nude and the black, and I can’t live without them. I also have a few pair of The Staple which aren’t cooling, but are still perfect under dresses when it’s not as hot. They come in different lengths — I’m partial to the 5-inch inseam. Worth every penny!

3. Happy to report I have found a perfect summer t-shirt: light, boxy without looking sloppy, and the right length. The sleeves give it an elevated look without being over the top. I have four colors. If they release more, I will be purchasing them.

4. I recently sent my friend Joy (who is just about to become a mom!) my all-time favorite baby gift: a Chappy Wrap, aka the best blanket on earth. I love the You Are My Sunshine print, but there are many adorable ones to choose from! My other favorite things to gift are here!

5. My skin is changing (aging is a joy) and is pretty sensitive these days. During the day, I’m loyal to my forever favorites: Dieux’s Deliverance Serum, Instant Angel Moisturizer, and Auracle eye cream. At night, I’ve been fully converted to Tata Harper’s Superkind collection. I’m a big fan of their Softening Cleanser, their Bio-Barrier Serum, and their Calming Creme.

6. I think I’ve refined my perfect summer outfit: Madewell Perfect Vintage Crop Wide-Leg Jeans, Pact Clothing Perfect Ribbed Tank (I have them in several colors — they are so soft and hold up so nicely!), Gold Birkenstocks, and my favorite Anthropologie Rainbow Stone necklace.

Historically, I don’t like change. I like routine and carefully construct my life around it. I’ve noticed recently that a lot of my efforts have been around trying to regain the same feelings or routines that I had before, when I was teaching and waking up early to write, and only going to spin class a few times a week. I can’t speak to the personal changes in my life without mentioning the ways the world has changed. We are living in frightening times that are destabilizing.

In reality, my life is different now. I spend my time differently. My interests, my schedule, my relationships, and my way of being in the world have changed. I knew that on a practical level, but with any change, there is grief.

Thankfully, life has worked out in a way that has gotten me out of my routine. We had a week-long break that Amy and I spent in Palm Springs with our friends Jenn and Brad. While we did nothing but lounge and snack, it was good to be out of the house and truly rest for a few days and to spend time with dear friends.

This past week, I had the chance to surprise my friend Melissa to celebrate the release of her newest (incredible!) novel, Hemlock. Melissa is a dear friend, but she was also my grad school advisor and my workshop leader at Kenyon. Her book event in Chicago was a conversation with my beloved friend Megan Stielstra, another teacher/mentor turned close friend. Getting to have dinner with them, hear Melissa speak, and spend time with Megan reset my brain and heart. They know me and my work and my writing self, and while we didn’t discuss it at length, being around them revitalized me.

I was in Chicago, so I got to stay with Brad and Jenn (seeing them twice in two weeks is truly wild and also the very best!), and there is something so precious about being with a friend like Jenn who has seen me through so many iterations of myself and can reflect some things to me that I need to consider.

I got to walk around the Chicago Art Institute alone and see beautiful art. Chicago has incredible food and things to see, and despite O’Hare, I think it’s officially my favorite American city, not only because so many people I love live there.

When I flew in last night, I felt rejuvenated — not because I was in my routine, but because I was out of it. I was away, on a little adventure, separated from my life for just enough time to get some distance. Over the past year, I’ve wanted more than anything to feel like myself. The past few weeks have given slivers of myself — not the same self, the new one — back to me.

As always, I like to share things I’ve been loving lately. Here are just a few:

1. I’ve been using this pre-shampoo treatment from Olaplex and it’s incredible. My hair feels a million times better.

2. I got into white pants last year, and these from Ann Taylor have me feeling excited for summer!

3. Cannot get enough of the Ruggable in my living room, and finally decided on this one for my kitchen!

4. I loved this essay about being THAT GIRL when you feel dead inside.

5. A few things to do when you’re not feeling well.

6. I’m on the hunt for a perfect white sneaker for spring and summer, specifically to wear with dresses. I’m considering this Birkenstock pair. I will also DEFINITELY be getting a new pair of Sambas. I wear them nearly every day.

7. I regret to inform you that the Victoria Beckham x Augustinus Bader Foundation Drops are worth every penny. This is the foundation I’ve been looking for my entire life: glowy, buildable coverage, smoothing. Highly recommend.

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If you’ve been reading since the beginning, you might recall that this newsletter used to be formatted into four sections: what I was reading and writing, a small rant, and things I recommend. I’m going to bring it back for this week!

Reading

I recently finished Seduction Theory, by Emily Adrian, which my friend Melissa recommended to me. Told from the perspective of a graduate student, Robbie, the novel tells the story of two married professors, Simone and Ethan, who teach in the same department. When Ethan has an affair, Simone begins to enter into a murky relationship with Robbie. It’s smart, sharp, and juicy. I recommend. I’ve been listening to The Way Of Excellence, by Brad Stulberg. I tend to be wary of self-help, but I was drawn to this book, and I’m glad I found it. It avoids boring platitudes and focuses on everything from habits to self-compassion. Stulberg draws on advice from musicians, athletes, and others to put together a compelling definition of excellence. I highly recommend!

Writing

I don’t have much to say here, other than I wrote 1,000 words that felt good this week, and I am counting that as a win in a season I’m finding it difficult to write through.

Ranting

The most champagne of problems: I’m going to Palm Springs this week…and it’s supposed to rain and be freezing, upending my plans to bask like a lizard on a rock.

Recommending

QVC is running a huge sale on Elemis products! I am such a huge fan of these items. I use the Superfood Glow Priming Moisturizer under my makeup every day — it adds just the right amount of glow and lies smoothly under my makeup. These Dynamic Resurfacing Pads have earned a permanent spot in my skincare routine. I also use their Green Fig Cleansing Balm to take off my makeup. It’s so easy to rub it in and then use a warm cloth to wipe everything off — it makes washing my face so simple. I was originally gifted Elemis products, but now I happily purchase them with my own money. They’re that good.

Found THE MOST COMFORTABLE bralette. No wires, just enough support, feels like you’re wearing nothing. I love this gentle lavender color. If you want something more fun, these sheer bralettes are also comfortable but slightly spicy. If you use code AMYE15, you’ll get 15% off.

I grow more obsessed with my Ruggable rug every day. It’s so plush and SO EASILY WASHABLE. I love that it’s now an all-in-one rug (no separate pad!) so my dogs can easily jump on the couch. Ruggable is running a killer President’s Day sale, too — up to 20% off.

I’m thinking about spring and summer. Last year, I lived in tanks and wide-leg pants. I’m eyeing this tank (love the stripes!) and this Michael Stars one, too. I’ve already acquired several of these Lululemon Hold Tight tanks and they are delightful.

While my wardrobe is primarily filled with neutrals, I love a colorful accessory to liven things up, and this beaded necklace is calling my name. It’s delicate and fun at the same time.

One of my favorite pieces of writing is “How Do We Write Now?” by the brilliant Patricia Lockwood. It was delivered in 2018 at a writing workshop, and I re-read it frequently, inserting different verbs in for write: how do we LIVE now, how do we GO TO WORK now, how do we do anything now. I don’t have any magical suggestions, other than that money helps.

I have been trying to distract myself using my favorite coping mechanism possible: online shopping. I haven’t purchased much, but dang, I have found some good things. If you, like me, need a distraction, here are some things for your consideration:

1. Ruggable just sent me a new rug, and I AM IN LOVE. Look (at the rug only and not my messy house lol)!

I had a Ruggable many years ago, and I loved it, but at that time, they had a rug with a separate pad. Dogs running around make it hard for the rug to stay in place. This new version is an all-in-one, like a traditional rug. It has good heft, is extremely soft, and is vibrant without overtaking the room. If you’ve been looking for a new rug, I cannot recommend them more!

Ruggable is currently running a winter reset sale, and rugs are up to 25% off! I’m considering buying this runner while it’s 15% off.

2. I’m forever on the hunt for good denim. I’ve been hearing good things about the Agolde 90’s crop. I’m intrigued because Agolde’s Parker Long Shorts are the shorts of my dreams, so I love the brand, but I’m dithering. Any Agolde jeans opinions, yay or nay?

3. No brag, but several students at the school I work at have told me I have “the best shoe game” and someone called my Nike Court Lows “tuff” (the word is back!). Middle schoolers are wildly honest, even with their vice principal, so I take their opinions seriously. Anyway, I’m always on the hunt for the next pair to add to my closet. Right now, the next contenders are either these Nike Court Legacies or these bedazzled Monza sneakers. Please leave me your coolest recommendations in the comments — I have a reputation to uphold.

4. Because my friends and I are Cool and Interesting, we recently had a rousing conversation about our favorite kitchen appliances. I went with an immersion blender, something I consider essential for any true soup lover. One friend loves her Dash Popcorn Maker, and another swears by her rice cooker. Once again, please leave me your best kitchen appliance recommendations in the comments.

5. The best book I read last year was Hemlock, by my dear friend Melissa Faliveno. The book is described as a “butch Black Swan” and that nails it. I was so excited about it that I got an advanced copy and pre-ordered it twice. Oops! I want to give one copy away. Please leave a comment below and I will select a random winner!

6. A random assortment of workout clothing that are currently in heavy rotation in my workout wardrobe: this ON Performance Flex bra, this Lululemon Jersey Training Tank, and this Lululemon Rulu Classic-Fit Long-Sleeved shirt.

7. I recently got an Oura Ring 4. I promise you that I won’t talk about it all the time, but I am obsessed. If you like data about your body, this is it.

8. My skin is SO DRY right now. I’m loving this gentle Skin Remedy Cleansing Balm,

9. Currently on my wish list: this Lululemon Waffle-Knit Funnel-Neck shirt, this Tatcha Longevity Youth Restoring Cream (it looks like bouncy putty!), and the Jessie Sweatshirt from Nation.

10. In terms of daily actions to help the world, I’m loving Jess Craven’s Substack, Chop Wood, Carry Water.

Before I begin, I want to acknowledge that this year has been horrible on a global level, and simply by nature of being a white woman in America who lives comfortably, I recognize that this is a highly privileged take that does not encompass my political beliefs. I am not a “head in the sand” person, but I am also not a “write political hot takes” person.

We’re in that strange week where time feels suspended—neither here nor there. My Instagram feed swings between “Refuse to do anything this week. Become a couch!” and “100 journal prompts to help you reflect before 2026.” Because I am who I am, I’ve been reflecting on my year (Virgo rising), becoming part couch (Taurus sun), and quietly making plans for 2026 (Enneagram 3).

It’s rare—at least for me—to experience a year where nearly every part of my life changes. The only other time I can recall is my early twenties, when everything felt fragile, and the smallest shift could send the few stable things I had into a new orbit. I tend to cling to certainty. I don’t love change. And yet, this year, almost everything changed.

I began the year in a fog of grief. My dear mother-in-law died in November 2024, and there’s no clean language for the way losing someone so essential to your spouse rearranges your inner world. I had been fortunate not to experience death so intimately before, and something about watching a vibrant, deeply loved person die—slowly, then suddenly—changes you. It does the predictable things: sharpens your sense of what matters (very little, beyond the people we love) and creates a cavernous sadness that doesn’t go away completely. It also does quieter, harder things. Watching your partner grieve so deeply, knowing there’s nothing to fix—only to witness, to stay, to make room for pain that softens but never disappears—alters you, too. We were apart for nearly four months, save for brief visits, and that, too, was a painful shift. Thankfully, despite it being a truly horrid experience, it’s made us tender and more gentle with one another.

What steadied me early in the year was movement. I needed to move to stay present with my grief, to feel anchored in my body. In February, I decided to start lifting weights again and began taking strength classes at Orangetheory, fully convinced I’d be a Strength50-only girlie. I did not expect to become obsessed.

My third class was coached by a woman who truly saw me—challenged me with heavier weights, corrected my form, pushed me. It was a stark contrast to male coaches who had often ignored me. Her confidence and encouragement nudged me into trying a “regular” class—strength, treadmill, rowing—once a week, which somehow turned into five days a week and an experience my body craves. I am now someone who uses Orangetheory as a verb and books classes with religious devotion.

That single choice reshaped so much. My relationship with my body is entirely different. This year, I hit 100 pounds lost. As someone who has cycled through weight loss and gain and struggled with disordered eating, it’s hard to articulate how different this feels. I’ve shared bits and pieces, but I’ve been using a GLP-1. At first, I carried a lot of shame. As someone shaped by body-positive and fat-acceptance spaces, I knew my choice would be judged. Eventually, I realized I cared more about my health—which had reached genuinely frightening metrics—than about adhering to rules that no longer felt true to me.

For me, this was a radical act. I’ve spent much of my life afraid to trust myself. Choosing a GLP-1 felt aligned with what I wanted for my body and my life, and for the first time, I valued that alignment more than the loud voices insisting I was morally failing. Pairing that decision with a consistent, challenging, joyful exercise practice has rebuilt my self-trust. I often think of a phrase from recovery spaces: Esteemable acts build esteem. Showing up for myself, watching my body grow stronger, feeling more capable—in the gym and in daily life—has shifted how I see myself. I trust myself now, all the way down to my bones.

Another unexpected gift of Orangetheory was Kass, the coach I loved so much, who quickly became one of my closest friends. I’ve always valued friendship and community, but it had been years since I’d experienced the immediate recognition of a new, deeply meaningful friendship. There is something magical about forming new friendships as an adult, and something instructive, too.

Most of my friendships are long-standing, built over years of shared history. And yet, I’ve also had many seasons of loneliness—of pulling away because I felt unlovable, convinced others merely tolerated me. With therapy, self-compassion, the love of old friends, a patient spouse, and the realization that I am still capable of forming new, close bonds, something shifted. I see now how essential friendship is. I frequently seek out the wisdom of older women, and one truth appears again and again: as we age, our friendships matter more, not less. This year, I chose to invest in my community—to show up, to reconnect, to say the loving things out loud. It healed a part of me that once believed closeness was dangerous. Love, in all its forms, transforms us.

A job change is always seismic, and stepping into my role as a middle school vice principal after twenty years as an English teacher has been monumental. The simplest truth is that I love my new job. I love my school, the students and families, the staff, the principal I work with, and the work itself. I made this change at the right time.

It hasn’t been seamless. I didn’t anticipate how humbling it would feel to be new again, to learn a role I’m not yet fluent in after years of confidence in my job performance. Being the only vice principal can be lonely. Much of what administrators carry can’t be shared, and I miss the easy processing that comes with teaching alongside peers. I’m learning a new culture, a new way of doing things. I’m deeply grateful for a kind staff, a principal I admire, and mentors who remind me that I’ve been doing this for five months—not five years—and that “pretty okay” is more than enough for now. This job requires an entirely new level of self-trust: I make decisions alone. Unlike the classroom, nearly every choice I make is visible to many others (staff, students, families, teachers), which makes everything feel high-stakes in a way I couldn’t have understood before taking this job. This means that not only do I have to believe in my own decisions, but others have to believe in them, too.

This summer, I graduated with my MFA in Writing—fiction and nonfiction—a milestone that felt both thrilling and strangely anticlimactic. Hundreds of pages written. Endless reading. Residencies. Meetings. And then, suddenly, it was over. I was ready to be done with deadlines, but I didn’t expect how their absence would disrupt my writing. People often say an MFA teaches you how to maintain a writing practice. For me, the combination of finishing the program and stepping into a demanding new job has made a consistent writing practice feel elusive.

I know I’ll find my way back. When I finished my BA in English, I didn’t read a book for six months—I was simply spent. Eventually, reading returned. I believe writing will, too—with intention and effort, yes, but also patience.

This, too, is self-trust.

The year also held so much joy: a trip to Edinburgh, watching our best friends become parents to the sweetest little nugget, hosting and visiting friends, time with family, long stretches of laughter, and the small, silly moments that never quite fit inside a Substack post.

These are the highlights—the big, shareable things.

The lowlights are harder to write about, mostly because so few of the hardest moments belong only to me. Change, even good change, carries pain. As someone deeply dependent on routine and stability, this much movement brought mental health challenges and some dark stretches. There were heavy moments in my family. Some friendships deepened; others quietly loosened their grip. Many people I love experienced profound pain and loss, the kind that resists tidy language.

I often joke with my therapist—who has given me an endless archive of wise, grounding truths—that the thing she’s said to me most often, and that I return to most, is this: “You’re not an asshole. You won’t make asshole decisions.” It began as a lighthearted response to my fear that I am, at my core, someone untrustworthy. Over time, it stopped being a joke and became a kind of anchor.

This year asked me to live inside uncertainty without collapsing into self-doubt. To hold change and joy and grief at the same time. To stop demanding certainty before allowing myself to move forward. I keep thinking about the words from Paramore’s song, “Last Hope” —“And the salt in my wounds
Isn't burning any more than it used to/It’s not that I don’t feel the pain / It’s just I’m not afraid of hurting anymore.” That feels true now. The pain didn’t disappear. I just stopped running from it. This year stripped away the illusion that control would keep me safe. What replaced it was quieter and sturdier: self-trust.

I learned that I can survive change. That I can make decisions without having perfect clarity. That I can hold both the good and the hard without needing to resolve them into a single, neat narrative. I don’t know what 2026 will hold. While I’m personally hoping for a more stable, certain year that’s a little more boring, I know I can’t guarantee it.

It feels like trust.

A few good things to share:

1. My beloved EBY is currently offering 30% off of EVERYTHING, including their Relief Bra (my favorite bra of all time — no wires, tons of support, looks great under a t-shirt!) and their Seamless Briefs. Don’t sleep on this deal!

2. I’m settling on some goals to host more next year, and I loved this update from Amanda Litman on her Saturday dinners. In a similar vein, I loved this piece on deep casual hosting. I’ve spent a lot of time with my friends this year in very chill settings: dinners at home, spontaneous couch hangs, pool days, etc. More of this, please!

3. The Internet has latched on to the idea of analog living, and while I’m already sick of the term, I did love this piece about analog living for normal people.

4. Lululemon is having a bonkers sale right now, and I highly recommend this sweatshirt, these leggings, and this long-sleeve.

5. To end the year, here are my 2025 favorites AND my all-time favorite reflection/anti-resolution thing to do: make a “Things I Know About Myself” list for gentler, more realistic goal-setting that’s true to you.

If you shop using my links, I may earn a small commission at no cost to you. And while I will note items that were gifted, I only share things I GENUINELY love. As always, your support (clicking = support — no buying necessary!) means a lot. Please enjoy!

1. For years, I wore a lot of dresses, and while I still enjoy a dress (especially in the summer!), I’ve found myself gravitating more to wide-leg pants. My summer wardrobe was a wide-leg pant, a tank or tee, and sandals. In the winter, it’s been a wide-leg pant and a sweater and/or cardigan-tee combo with a sneaker. It’s easy, comfortable, and can be appropriately dressy or casual. One of my favorite pairs is the Ann Taylor Easy Wide-Leg Pant. They have an elastic waist but a zipper and button front, too, so they look work-appropriate.

2. Target has partnered with Blogilates (someone I know nothing about, haha), and I bought one of their Marshmallow Oversized Hoodies to wear to and from the gym and it’s SO SOFT and WARM. It’s cheap and very cozy!

3. One thing about me is that I use many, many products in the shower, including Megababe’s Bidet Bar and Space Bar, and having multiple bars of soap is a slippery problem. Megababe kindly sent me one of their Bar Soap Towers, and I love it! My bars of soap have a place to rest, they don’t get icky or stuck together, and they last longer because they’re out of the spray of the shower.

4. The thing that changed my life the most in 2025 was getting into Orangetheory. I try hard not to talk about it constantly, but it’s harder than I’d like to admit. The workout itself (split between the treadmill, a rower, and weights) is amazing, and my gold-star-seeking self loves the frequent benchmarks to challenge myself. Mostly, I love feeling so capable and strong. I used to be terrified of the workouts, and while I do still feel dread, I also know I can handle it. I love it so much. It also helped that this coach I wrote about in my DriTri post has not only continued to be an incredible coach, but has become my best friend, a bonus and extra motivation to show up! Plus, I’ve converted some other friends, and even made a few new friends in my 5 AM classes. I’ve taken 175 classes (and counting — will end the year somewhere close to 190) and can’t wait to take more.

5. Because I’ve been so much more active this year, I’ve spent a lot of money on workout gear. I have tried many, many styles of leggings, and the Lululemon Aligns reign supreme, forever and ever, amen. Most comfortable leggings ever.

6. I’ve become a big sweater gal this winter, mostly because I am outside doing lunch supervision every day, and it is SO COLD. Loft has taken the cake in terms of finding the cutest, softest, and most affordable sweaters, including this bobble mock-neck sweater with the most whimsical little pink details, this hooded maxi-cardigan that is becoming my entire personality, and this delicate pointelle sweater. At the time of this post, they’re running some INCREDIBLE sales, so if you need more sweaters, get on it!

7. It’s become the year of the matching sets for me, both in terms of adorable EBY bras and underwear, but also in loungewear. My current obsessions are this Loft waffle set (joggers and long-sleeve shirt), and this super-soft fleece version from Soma (joggers and hoodie). I love to be comfy but I also love looking a little cute while I do it.

8. I’ve also gotten really into sneakers this year — not the collecting kind, but actually wearing them — and these Nike Pacific sneakers and my Adidas Sambas are my most-worn, very favorite. I get so many compliments on both and they’re so comfortable!

9. Chocolate-dipped dried mango has been my favorite treat since Trader Joe’s had it as a holiday treat a few years ago, but since it’s been discontinued, it’s been hard to find. I picked up some of this Señor Mango at Erewhon when I was in LA and I think about it all the time. Yes, I am aware I can make it myself and I WILL when I have a moment.

10. I bought the THATCH Amazonite Bail Charm as a gift to myself for finishing my MFA, and I love it. It’s delicate but adds such a special touch to any outfit. THATCH also sent me their Juni earrings and I wear them all the time and they feel really special. I love simple pieces that have just a little flair.

11. As always, my favorite thing to spend money on is traveling. This year, I took my dad to Las Vegas to see the Eagles at The Sphere (a really special trip and an incredible concert!), to Edinburgh with Amy (notes on what I wore here), to Chicago to see Jenn (and Brad!) with Amy, to Nevada City with my friend Kass, to Los Angeles with Leslie, and will be heading to Santa Cruz soon with Kass to end the year. Next year, Amy and I have a trip to Palm Springs on the books and will hopefully spend Thanksgiving in Paris. Any time I travel, I feel so grateful and happy to get to experience the world — even if I don’t go far!

12. Speaking of travel, I was thinking about the best things I ate this year, and I regret to inform you that the food I think about most frequently is from my trip to LA: the Hailey Bieber Strawberry Glaze smoothie from Erewhon. Worth all $20. If Erewhon ever comes to Sacramento (lol) I will be in trouble.

13. I love to do my skin care, but finding the right cleanser that will dissolve my makeup and also comes off easily with a warm washcloth has been a journey. This Elemis Pro Collagen Green Fig Cleansing Balm is my new fave. It’s creamy and smells amazing. And it WORKS.

14. I had a rough reading year (the end of my MFA where I read for two and a half years straight AND a new job that demanded all my brain space) but I do have a clear favorite book of the year, and it’s not even close. My dear friend, Melissa Faliveno, has a novel called Hemlock, which is coming out in January. It is smart, suspenseful, and full of layered family dynamics and incredible characters (and it’s a little gay!) that are flawed and loveable. I read it in a short burst and then had to sit down and finish it in one gulp. Pre-order it. I promise you’ll love it.

15. Lip products are always weird for me, but I am OBSESSED with this Tower 28 Shine On Lip Oil Jelly. It’s moisturizing, has vibrant but forgiving colors, and the right amount of shine. I like the shades Sesame (a milky mauve) and Wild (a sheer bright pink). The other Tower 28 product I love is the Super Dew Highlighter. I know this is a controversial statement, but I believe the Super Dew Highlighter achieves what Jones Road Miracle Balm claims to do. Tower 28’s highlighter is lighter and less globby, but still adds a really nice glow, without shimmer.

16. One thing that has absolutely changed my life this year is over-ear headphones. No more dropping AirPods down the aisle of an airplane or pain because apparently I have tiny ears. The Bose Quiet Comfort headphones lasted my ENTIRE FLIGHT to Edinburgh without needing to be charged and I watched TV or listened to an audiobook the entire flight. They’re so comfortable and clear and cancel noise so well.

17. In terms of listening to things this year, my favorite podcast is Good Hang with Amy Poehler. Her guests are incredible (especially as someone who loved SNL and grew up during the Poehler/Fey/Rudolph/Dratch years and also LOVES Parks and Rec), and the topics and conversations are so funny but surprisingly deep. It’s a celebration of female friendship, of perseverance, and of embracing who you are. I can’t get enough. I am also going through a hardcore Hayley Williams phase (in part because Paramore is on MANY Orangetheory playlists), and I am currently obsessed with her new album, “Ego Death At A Bachelorette Party” and have been going through old Paramore albums and singing at the top of my lungs.

18. I know, no one wants to hear more about protein and yet, I am always thinking about protein. I can’t always eat enough meat/beans/eggs to meet my goals, and I struggle with protein shakes — I don’t like the taste of Stevia and so many have it. Enter CLEAR PROTEIN. I love a lemon-flavored situation, and I’ve tried a few different lemon versions. Right now, I’m really into OATH’s Frosted Lemonade. I also upgraded to a fancy Blogilates shaker and it works super well!

19. Ruti On-The-Loose Work Pants are hands-down the best pants I’ve ever owned. They are comfortable (elastic waist! smoothing fabric!), look professional with everything from a sweater to a sleeveless top, and hold their shape. They are also 25% off right now (as of December 15th!). I know they’re pricier than most pants BUT I also promise they’re worth it. It’s extra hard to find petite pants, and these have perfect proportions. I am 5”0 and I take a 4P in these — they are oversized enough but don’t look sloppy. OBSESSED. Trust me. I also love their Go-To Skirt — it’s the perfect blend of classic style and unique details.

20. I learned about the Everlane Studio Bag from Leslie Stephens over at Morning Person and I am so glad I ordered it. It’s my ideal work bag because it has enough room for my laptop, wallet, snacks, notebooks, and a water bottle, yet it is structured like a purse. I love it.

21. My favorite event of the year was my charm bar party, and everything I purchased for that is on my best-of list because it was SO SPECIAL, but also because I firmly believe that this is an ideal activity for bringing friends together.

22. I love the look of ON Running shoes, and I finally got a few pairs this year. I have the Cloud 6 and I wear them for Orangetheory on “normal” class days (where I’ll be on the treadmill). My favorite pair is the Cloud X 4, though, which has a slimmer sole and are perfect for lifting.

23. I love a little sweet treat, and my latest obsessions are Drizzilicious Mini Rice Cakes (I bought the Peppermint Bites, the Cinnamon Roll, and the Gingerbread, all of which are AMAZING). Next up, I want to try the S’mores! My other obsession is Smarties Squashies candy, which are gummy and vaguely marshmallowy. Definitely not for everyone, but very much for me.

24. I have fallen in love with Sweed Beauty’s Cloud Mascara. It lifts and separates without clumping, and I don’t end up with raccoon eyes. I also really like Tower 28’s MakeWaves mascara, which adds a little bit of curl without needing to use a lash curler.

25. My other favorite beauty products of the year are Patrick Ta’s Major Skin Hydra Luxe Luminous Skin Perfecting Foundation (WHAT A NAME!) because it offers a good amount of coverage without looking cakey — it’s also very hydrating. When I was on our annual Christmas shopping date with my friend Elizabeth a few weeks ago, she was getting Saie Slip Tint, and I am now fully obsessed with using that on days when I want something on my skin but don’t want a full foundation. It’s dewy and light and ideal for weekends or lighter makeup days.

26. Since 2019, I’ve been wearing the same perfume: Lanvin Eclat d’Arpege. It remains a constant, favorite purchase. Every year, I consider finding a different scent, but I keep coming back to this one.

27. No affiliate link here, but I started taking creatine this year since I’ve been lifting more and trying to build muscle. I’m not a big fan of powders, but I love a gummy supplement, and these Swoly gummies are the absolute best!

28. I’ve talked about them non-stop this year, but it would be wrong not to include Lake Pajamas on my list. Cute, comfortable, breathable. Worth every penny.

29. I’m already a Bombas superfan, but I recently fell in love with their merino wool calf socks. I get so cold out at lunch supervision, and these help my feet stay warm AND they feel like a little hug for your feet, the way all Bombas do. I love them.

30. I have fallen out of my typical tarot practice for awhile, but when I was in Nevada City this fall, I had an incredible reading, and I also treated myself to a new deck, this amazing Ultraviolet Tarot by artist Violet Aveline. It is so beautiful and vibrant.

I have many, many honorable mentions, but these are the best of the best — for me! If you’re looking for last-minute purchases for gifts or otherwise, I stand behind all of these. For past lists, you can check out Best Purchases of 2024, my favorite workout and wellness items, Super Summer Slam Jam Recommendations 2024 and SSSJ Recs 2025, and my gym bag essentials!

There are one million Black Friday deals going on! Amy and I are dealing with dueling family emergencies, so I haven’t been able to commit to getting all of my gifts dialed in, but here’s what I am thinking in terms of gifts for others and, of course, a few things for myself.

For Others:

I love this heart drop necklace. It’s fun, but classic, and at a good price point (especially with Evereve’s sale!).

My go-to gift for kids and crafty friends of ALL AGES is this Custom Bead Kit. I got one for my favorite six-year-old and he liked it so much that he BLEW ME A KISS ABOUT IT. Come on.

LOFT kindly sent me this boucle hooded maxi cardigan, which has become my entire personality. It’s so cozy! It’d be a perfect gift for anyone who enjoys hibernating in the winter. It’s chic enough to pick up coffee in but also extremely cozy for lounging.

I’ve been living in this Funnel Neck Sweatshirt and the matching jogger from SOMA. These would make an excellent cozy gift.

Bauble Bar’s Joan necklaces are stunning, and a perfect gift for your mom, aunt, cousin, or friend. At 20% off, this is a steal, and it’s a piece they’ll wear all the time.

Everything at LOFT and Ann Taylor is 50% off right now, which is bonkers. They have the best basics! My picks: this pointelle sweater, this adorable sherpa jacket, this cozy white sweater, this bow-detail sweater (which I’ll be wearing to every holiday engagement), and this turtleneck.

I think scarves make a great gift for just about anyone, and this one is adorable.

This Bauble Bar knotted initial bracelet is SO CUTE and a perfect stocking stuffer. If I were doing gifts for multiple people in the same friend group or family, this would be a contender. It’s 20% off at Bauble Bar right now!

If you’re looking for a thoughtful piece of jewelry that won’t break the bank, THATCH is doing a huge Black Friday sale starting this Friday, November 28th. You can take 25% off everything! I’m getting this Amazonite bail charm necklace for a few people — it’s such a lovely statement piece and makes a special gift. I wear Jessa lock necklace often — it’s classic and easy, and its versatile length means it can be a choker or a necklace. I also wear these Juni earrings frequently, and always get compliments.

For Me:

LAKE PAJAMAS, 25% OFF. Don’t sleep on these (get it?)! My all-time favorites.

Going to ignore the fact that I’m my parents’ only daughter and get this Favorite Daughter sweatshirt anyway.

SWEED Beauty is having a 25% off sale! I love the Cloud Mascara — it’s truly the best mascara I’ve ever tried. Stock up now!

This Crown Affair bundle deal is amazing — you can customize your own products and take 30% off three or four products! — and I’m taking advantage. I’ve been waiting for this deal to restock my shampoo, conditioner, gel, and mousse, which I use every day. Their overnight repair serum is magical, and I LOVE their dry shampoo, leave-in conditioner, and hair perfume, because the smell of their products is INCREDIBLE. If you’ve been waiting to try their products, don’t miss this. I’ve used nearly everything from their line and love it all.

I love my Clare V Grande Fanny and I’ve been OBSESSED with this biscuit weave color for ages. WILL I FINALLY BUY IT? Stay tuned.

This sweatshirt is coming home with me. I love it.

I am going to bite the bullet on this Beís Sport Duffle — Beís is doing a great Black Friday sale, and at 20% off I can’t pass this up!

Practical Good Deals:

I love my Dyson cordless vacuum. It is perfect for quickly getting the piles of dog hair that gather in my halls every day. I’ve never regretted this purchase!

The Shark Flex system is on SUPER SALE! I love mine so much.

EBY is having a BOGO sale starting November 27th! It’s buy one, get one free on EVERYTHING! I wear their Relief Bra every single day, I love their underwear (they really don’t move!), and their sheer sets are comfortable and feel just a little bit special. If you need to buy new bras and underwear (you KNOW you do!) STOCK UP.

I’ll be back with my 2025 best products list (you can also check out 2024’s Best Purchases, my favorite workout items, and my gym bag essentials).

I feel like there’s not really much to say these days that hasn’t been said by others in more eloquent ways. I want to work my way back to sharing essays and thoughts here. Unfortunately, putting together coherent words is something that requires my brain to be fully functioning, and right now, I feel like I am limping towards Thanksgiving break.

That said, the Internet continues to provide me plenty of things to purchase and enjoy reading, and I love to share. You’re welcome.

• I love a cleansing balm, and this Pro Collagen Green Fig one from Elemis is my new obsession. I also love this Superfood Glow Priming Moisturizer. It hydrates and acts as a primer while leaving a glow.

• Bombas Sunday Slippers are the absolute best things you’ll ever put on your feet. Cozy but structured, like a warm hug.

• Sarah Jessica Parker’s Year of Judging the Booker Prize. I found this fascinating to read.

• I’ve yet to find the travel bag of my dreams, but I’m considering this Weekender from Béis. That said, when we were in Edinburgh, I grew so tired of carrying a bag on my shoulder that I bought a very overpriced backpack, so I’m also considering this Sport Duffle Backpack so I can alternate if need be. I’m also a sucker for a good pouch, and this teal set is so lovely!

• I’m really into cozy matching sets right now, and Soma was kind enough to send me some of their new lounge pieces, including these Ultrasoft Fleece Joggers and the matching Ultrasoft Funnel Neck Sweatshirt. I’m also leaning into coziness at work with the Ultrasoft Fleece Cardigan, which is professional looking but super cozy on the inside. The dream!

• Why eldest daughters make the best partners, friends, and siblings. I firmly believe that eldest daughters should be running the world.

• I’m still obsessed with Orangetheory, and on days when we’re running a little more (hot tip: the Orangetheory Reddit thread posts the workouts a day in advance!), I’ve been LOVING my Brooks Ghost running shoes for a little more support and cushion.

• Why highly self-aware people suffer in ways you can’t see. This was both great to read and also extremely painful because hi, hello, it is me.

• I FINALLY ordered some really cute knee-high boots, and I think I need this corduroy skirt and this sweater to go with. I’ve always been a die-hard black tights girlie, but I think I’m going to give a pair of brown tights a spin — I keep seeing them everywhere and I am intrigued.

• I’ve talked to a few friends lately about the ANXIETY of gift-giving during the holidays. My tips: have a conversation with people about whether you are “doing” gifts or not, and parameters. For example, some years, my wife and I pick categories (Something In Your Favorite Color, Something To Do Outside, Something To Read, Favorite Snack, etc.) and also do stockings. This year, we are mixing it up a bit. With friends, most of us opt not to exchange gifts, and instead do some sort of holiday outing. It’s lovely. Anyway, if this produces anxiety for you, I loved Vogue’s etiquette tips for gift giving.

• ‘Tis the season for comfy sweatshirts. I’m loving this envelope neck one from Nation, am OBSESSED with this reverse fleece striped Ziggy from perfectwhitetee (pricey, but just trust me!), and this OUI one from Clare V.

• “You’re overspending because you lack values.” This post was the best and most difficult thing I read this week.

• THATCH let me pick out some jewelry (you might remember my obsession with this beautiful necklace) and I have not taken off this Jessa Lock Necklace or their Junie earrings which are the right mix of classic and interesting. I love their stuff so much.

• I’ve had a Brick device for awhile and admittedly don’t use it (whoops!) but I loved this review of it from Margaret at Bad Art Every Day.

As always, if you shop using my links, I may earn a small commission at no expense to you. I only share things I really, really love and use. And if you’re not buying, but you’re clicking, that helps immensely, too. Thanks for supporting me!

It doesn’t necessarily feel like fall every single day here in California, but I have been chilly several days this week, so we are in the ballpark.

Fall feels different this year. Last year, we were in the throes of grief as my mother-in-law died, and the entire season passed in a fog. Two falls ago, we went to London and Paris, and it was wonderful: chilly, overcast, cloudy. I frequently miss Paris, but lately, even more so. Something about the fall makes me wish I was there (mostly to eat some good pastries and drink good coffee and stare at beautiful things). Fall makes me, as Rory Gilmore says, “up to my ears in yens.”

There will be no international trip this fall, so instead, I’m leaning into coziness at home. I think curating a cozy wardrobe and home during the fall is one of life’s biggest joys. I love pulling out my candles, switching back to the coziest blankets, making soup, and enjoying the crispness of the evenings. Here are a few of my coziest recommendations and recent reads:

• A friend introduced me to Barefoot Dreams blankets and then expanded into cardigans, and now, this robe is the absolute softest thing. If you, like me, need a lighter option so you don’t sweat to death, this cotton gauze robe is the perfect weight.

• I loved this post by Margaret at Bad Art Every Day. I hold so many strict ideas about what “counts” as creativity, and this post reminded me that creativity is so much bigger.

• This long-sleeve tee remains a perfect basic. I wear them every week.

• We are BIG simmer pot people. Amy and I found the cutest old pot at Goodwill a few years ago, and when it gets cold, we use it frequently as a simmer pot. I’m partial to orange peels, cinnamon sticks, and cloves, but it’s hard to screw these up. The bonus is that if you live in a dry place, it keeps your skin/nasal passages/lungs a little more hydrated.

• I’ve become a sneakers person this year. I don’t mean a fancy collector of sneakers, I mean that I wear them almost every day. My newest favorites are these Court Vision sneakers. I have them in brown. I cannot overstate how many compliments I get FROM MIDDLE SCHOOLERS when I wear these Nike Low-Top Pacifics.

• If you know me, you know that Olivia Benson is one of the great loves of my life. Mariska Hargitay’s episode of Good Hang with Amy Poehler brought me ENDLESS JOY. That podcast is always good, but this one was exceptional — I could listen to these two talk forever.

• This sweater is one of my favorite things to throw on. It’s easy, it holds its shape, and it makes getting dressed easy.

• I rely on my longtime blogging friend, Whoorl, for her recommendations, and I loved this post with Mrs. Derm.

• Speaking of Whoorl, she has been recommending this Swede Beauty Cloud Mascara for ages, and Swede was kind enough to send me some. I love the Lash Lift Mascara, too — I don’t know if I can pick a fave! I’ve never used a lash serum, but I’m giving their eyelash growth serum a try, too.

• I enjoy a proper pajama, but these joggers are one of the great loves of my life.

• I love just about everything Leslie Stephens writes, but I especially loved this post about change — why it’s hard, and how to start. I’m also revisiting this one about how to be more organized.

• I’m also eyeing these Nikes. I can’t help it.

• I really loved this take on staying happy as we age.

• Confession: I don’t like costumes or dressing up for Halloween, and we don’t dress up at school, but we are considering a pajama day. I’m not a big pumpkin gal, but I love these moon and stars pjs, but I’m wondering if they are Halloweenish enough to count?

• Coveting this perfect Nation puff-sleeved sweatshirt. Everything I own from them is amazing.

• If you like a cozy vanilla smell, don’t sleep on this body wash or the lotion.

• For me, winter is the time when dog walks get real ugly. I’m cold, I’ll wear 10,000 sloppy unmatched layers, and I need a shoe that is both warm and sturdy. These shoes are my very favorites.

• I keep hearing about the book I Who Have Never Known Men. I’m planning to read that this weekend, and also cry my way through Lily King’s latest, Heart The Lover. There are few books I love as much as King’s Writers and Lovers, and though every single friend who has read Heart The Lover has reported sobbing through it, I will read anything Lily King writes.

• I spent time with a mentor this week (I really don’t know how to write about my new job yet) and he mentioned this quote:

  “Becoming a leader is synonymous with becoming yourself. It’s precisely that simple, and it’s also that difficult.” -- Warren Bennis

  I haven’t stopped thinking about it.