Greetings Spendthrifts,

It’s been a busy and fun month since I last wrote to you. I saw Rosalía play an honest-to-God lifechanging show at the O2 on her LUX tour (hands down the most gifted artist and live performer operating today). I had a delicious little early summer holiday, more on that below. I finally! Had! A wardrobe! Built! (You may recall I’ve been looking for someone to build my dream curved door wardrobe in my bedroom for AGES now… well, patience pays, because I found someone and I’m SO happy with the final result - I’ll be doing a deep dive into the process in an upcoming newsletter).

Earlier this week I delivered a mini-lecture on the joys of summertime dressing and the art of embracing wardrobe optimism, at a breakfast co-hosted by The Gentlewoman and Missoni on the (stunninggg) Georgian Terrace at Harrods.

I wore this deep V knitted Missoni vest (which I styled back-to-front, per the 9am setting), and these (on sale!) Seventies-coded jeans, also available here - size up on those.

I’ve reproduced the lecture in full at the bottom of this newsletter as a little treat for paid subscribers - and if you’re not already a member of The Gentlewoman Club, you really should sign up! Their events are always a vibe, and full of the most interesting, dynamic, creative women in town.

And speaking of events - my friend, poet and playwright Inua Ellams, persuaded me to join the lineup for Redacted, a live-literary gathering at the London Library on June 18th as part of their 185th anniversary celebrations. I say ‘persuaded’ - I’ve never taken part in an event like this, where I (and nine other fantastic writers) will be using a passage from Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World to create poetry on the spot and was being a bit of a baby about joining… but it sounds like a refreshingly different and fun event format so - see you there?

I’ve also been remiss in including my Grazia columns in here of late, so here’s a few of the most recent ones, including my thoughts on why Michael Jackson’s legacy has managed to endure despite the many (IMO highly credible) allegations against him; whether it’ll be possible for Blake Lively to enjoy a career revival post-Baldonigate; and this week’s column, in which I consider Belle Burden’s Strangers, Lena Dunham’s Famesick, and the problem with unreliable narrators. As always, I share all my columns as and when they’re published on my Instagram, so follow along there if you’d like to read them hot off the press.

Taking Your Regular Clothes On Holiday

Today’s fashion briefing is all about demonstrating the ease with which you can adapt your regular ‘at home’ wardrobe into summer holiday-appropriate looks, an ethos I’ve mentioned a few times in this newsletter now.

I had the opportunity to put this into practice myself last month after Le Collectionist - they of the gorgeous luxury villa rentals - offered to host me and a few of my friends at one of their properties, which led to me and four pals spending a very fun and funny week at the utterly unreal Casa Duna in Comporta, Portugal (one to bookmark for large groups - it actually sleeps up to 12). Our stay was the definition of luxury from start to finish - suffice to say returning home to my housekeeper-less flat was an adjustment. In order to keep this newsletter concise I won’t go into everything we got up to in Comporta here but I have updated my AmiGo profile with the best restaurants, beaches and horse riding excursions (!) we enjoyed while we were out there (use the code OTEGHA to skip the waitlist and get access if you don’t already).

Aside from what books to pack - I took Patrick Radden Keefe’s London Falling (INCREDIBLE) and Lena Dunham’s Famesick (mixed feelings on that one, touched on my reservations in my latest Grazia column) - my main holiday consideration is, obviously, clothes.

I like to dress to match my destination, and as I kept authoritatively telling the group - despite having never been myself - Comporta is “kind of like the Hamptons of Portugal”. It’s all laidback, sunbleached coastal vibes, which in my book means classic blue or white denim, linen shirts, espadrilles, and so on. (I turned out to be right about this prediction - the other holidaymakers I clocked were giving a distinctly upmarket preppy vibe). As such, a lot of my usual ‘holiday wardrobe’ didn’t feel quite right for this vibe, but I was also determined to resist buying new stuff just for this trip* - which meant turning to my day-to-day London spring and summer wardrobe to see what could be repurposed into holiday wear.

*besides a Burberry check bikini - although given I wrote about how much I wanted one of those last summer, a full year felt like a long enough wait to justify such a wantonly frivolous purchase.

Enough preamble. Here’s how I adapted my regular wardrobe to see me through a week in Comporta.

These are the khaki linen H&M trousers and satin bandeau top* (also H&M) I mentioned in last month’s newsletter, along with my trusty jelly crystal Aquazzura sandals (currently on sale and available in a few sizes on Net A Porter).

*If you’re a bigger size on your bottom half than your top half (hi!) then I’d buy that H&M top in a size up.

Here’s me answering what turned out to be a spam phone call during the ‘surprise’ horseriding excursion I organised for the gang - surprise is in quotation marks because one thing this holiday revealed is that I’m TERRIBLE at lying/general subterfuge. My pal took one for the team and brought the Traitors board game with her all the way from London, and while I could not recommend it more highly as a fun group activity, I ended up as the Traitor and was absolutely terrible at it. No poker face to speak of, zero strategy… It was a real voyage of self-discovery actually - I’d always thought I’d make a fantastic Traitor, but in reality simply could not hack it. Anyway, I digress.

Here are those H&M trousers again - you can really dress ‘em up or down so easily! - worn with this white vest top from Gap, this striped Tibi top tied around my waist (also available in navy/white), a very old pair of classic Tevas (got distracted on the Teva website and came across these which are kind of a vibe, no??) and these Linda Farrow sunnies. The black leather bumbag was a Marrakech souk purchase many moons ago, and you can find yourself a similar red bandana using Google :)

And here’s the Burberry bikini (bottoms here), which is admittedly a splurge but also - a really fun holiday wear. Farfetch have more styles and colourways available, some of which are on sale - mine’s the beige Sadie (which I think has a nice, slightly more subtle check pattern to it), though I also considered the baby pink version at one point.

Wearing it with these Gap long denim shorts (Arket also does a very similar version with more colourways, including white and beige), these Ancient Greek jelly flip flops (although honestly Ancient Greek have so many different styles of jelly sandals it’s worth taking a look around their website first before you commit) and a classic Rue de Verneuil tote that has served as both airport cabin bag and beach bag on many a holiday - I’d take advantage of the current Net A Porter sale to get one for 40% off if I were you. And here’s a bargain version from a rather unexpected source.

I think my favourite thing I wore on this holiday might actually be this lace headscarf I bought for 7€ in an Alentejo tourist shop (it wasn’t until I got home and uploaded pics to Insta that a fellow Rosalía obsessive pointed out it’s also very LUX-coded). Worn here with this Youswim bikini - I have about half a dozen Youswim bikinis and swimsuits in various cuts and colours and could not recommend them more highly. The fabric has enough hold to actually provide a decent amount of support, and the quality is excellent - can also vouch for their Poise bikini top style.

Here I am on our villa’s yoga pavilion (I know, I know) wearing said headscarf, the Ancient Greek jelly flip flops, and an old pair of Tibi Stella jeans - here’s an affordable alt for those jeans from Arket, and the money-no-object Phoebe Philo version (she has a few).

I had a look on Etsy to see if I could find you guys a similar lace headscarf, et voila! This one, this one, and this one all look like they’d fit the bill, and all come in under £15.

In case you missed it:

And you wouldn’t think a woollen vest would work in 25 degree weather but this sage green Soeur top (now on sale!) is so open at the sides it’s actually very cool, both figuratively and in a more literal sense. Make sure you wear a pretty bra underneath ‘cause it’s gonna be on show - I think I was wearing a turquoise Dora Larsen number here. Again with the white Tibi jeans, my seen-better-days Jil Sander sandals (I really need to replace mine, I’ve worn them to death), and my metallic silver Balenciaga Cagole XS.

Oh and these brown tortoiseshell Sun Buddies sunnies, which I think might be the pair of sunglasses I reach for the most (and I have… quite a few pairs to choose from). The shape and colour just seem to work with everything - I might actually need to add the black version to my collection given how often I wear my existing pair.

I bought this green Solid and Striped swimsuit yonks ago, probably nearly a decade ago now, and I’m super impressed by how well it’s held up over the years - no fading or sagging, and I’ve worn it loads. I think the solid black version is actually such a cool vibe, as is this ribbed version with white trim (it’s kinda giving Meredith from The Parent Trap, no?) I remember being drawn to this Solid and Striped style because I was looking for a really classic Baywatch style one-piece, which the low back on these achieves perfectly - and thankfully the leg isn’t cut as crotch-flashingly high as dear Pammy’s were.

My shorts are the best kind of vintage piece - free, because I pinched them from my mum. I actually tried to find the photo I’ve seen of her wearing them when she was my age but it eludes me - will share if it surfaces. Sunglasses are Linda Farrow, as before.

Also worn lots on this trip but not pictured: the off-white Soeur jazz shoes I wrote about having my eye on in my April newsletter (in the biz we call this conversion); a pair of cream Castañer espadrille wedges (the trick to avoid looking too ‘Kate Middleton at a village fete’ is to only ever buy very low, practically flat wedge espadrilles, and only in cream or black - no colours); and this Gap linen shirt which is very quickly becoming a summer wardrobe staple, and was a great poolside and beach cover up while I was away.

Rounding off this section with a GIF I made that sums up my holiday vibe (here’s that Tibi striped top again):

And now, here are (variations of!) those same holiday outfits and pieces worn at home in London.

Having a picnic in the park and yes, I brought proper glassware with me (that gorgeous cocktail shaker was a housewarming gift from a friend, but if I remember correctly is this one from Soho Home). The basket bag I bought in Marrakech years ago - didn’t take it to Comporta with me but have taken it on holidays in the past. I really like that it’s got a structured shape - here’s yours. And the swimming costume worn as a body is this Youswim one (told you I have loads of them). FYI: wearing a swimming costume as a top is my ultimate heatwave hack - far less hot and sweaty than a regular top, I guess because swimwear is designed to absorb moisture/keep you cool? And of course, my pilfered shorts from before.

I bought this vintage floral shirt from the Brick Lane Beyond Retro (RIP) for an Eighties themed NYE party circa 2014 - at the time I thought it would be a one and done situation, but after I removed the shoulder pads it ended up becoming one of my most enduring summer staples, torn button hole and all. Wearing it with the Gap shorts from before, and these square-toe Tibi sandals (which also come in a bunch of other fruity colours).

And here’s the two-tone Mango bag sitting on the floor in the background (which I think would make a great work bag), and those Bottega Veneta pumps in green croc (my butterscotch colourway are long sold out sadly). A note on those Bottegas actually - I managed to snag mine on sale and they’ve very quickly shown themselves to be the perfect ‘in-between’ shoe - smart enough to work for even a very dressy event, but chill enough to work for daytime wear also. Plus they have a 75mm heel (i.e. COMFORTABLE), all of which is to say - if you’re in the market to invest in a versatile pair of shoes you can wear at all manner of occasions, you could do a lot worse - and probably not much better! - than these ones.

This fun and flirty Mango skirt + New Balance baby tee is actually a holiday look I wore when we went out for dinner one night in Comporta. We’d all agreed to ‘dress up’ but then I got back to my room and realised I hadn’t packed anything particularly dressy so just sort of cobbled this look together, hoping the embellishment on my sandals and metallic silver bag added enough pizzazz to pass for at least moderately dressy. That said I liked it enough that I recreated it back in London for drinks one evening during that glorious heatwave we had over the May bank holiday. (The empty bedroom behind me was because I’d just cleared it out ahead of my wardrobe build commencing!!)

And finally, the same New Balance baby tee, worn with an old pair of Raey trousers (RIP Raey but also - have you heard the good news?!) and my Nomasei loafers to go see Rosalía. I think I might add a few more slogan-y baby tees to my summer wardrobe actually, starting with this blue Climax Books tee once they’ve restocked my size. (The pinstripe blazer in the background comes with these matching suit trousers).

So as you can see, your holiday and ‘regular’ wardrobe is probably far more interchangeable than you’d realised. I’m hoping to go away again later this summer (just need to decide on where - tips welcome!) and I know many of these looks will make a repeat appearance on said holiday, as well as here in London (if we get a summer that is).

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The Art of Wardrobe Optimism

As delivered to The Gentlewoman Club on 9th June 2026.

Summer in Britain is one of our most precious commodities, one that demands we seize it with both hands. Famously capricious and often late, it is the Hollywood diva of seasons – highly temperamental, but so majestic once it finally does take the stage that all is quickly forgiven.

That unpredictability lends an urgency to this season that feels uniquely British – I’m not sure summer invites quite the same level of hysteria anywhere else in the world as it does here. Brits, famously preoccupied with the weather, are even more obsessed with summer.

And who can blame us? This is a season of unparalleled pleasures – though for me the best thing about summer is, undoubtedly, the fashion. Nothing gives me greater joy than casting off those oppressive winter layers and being able to feel the warmth of the sun directly on my bare skin. There is a lack of constraint to this season, a sense of freedom that comes with not having your otherwise perfect outfit ruined by having to wear a coat or ‘practical’ shoes. (In fact, one of the great thrills of summer dressing is that it allows us to dispense with that most boring of adult necessities – practicality).

Now, my mother is a woman who feels very at home wearing brightly coloured clothing – her wardrobe is an assortment of fuschias and yellows and emerald greens, and so she’s often bemused by the fact she produced a daughter so staunchly committed to neutrals: khaki, navy and black all play starring roles in my wardrobe, sometimes tan if I’m feeling adventurous. The genesis of her confusion is largely a cultural thing – I’m Nigerian, and Nigerian style is all about peacocking. It’s printed fabrics, bright colours, lots of pattern – so really, wearing colour is in my DNA – and yet a lifetime spent in the UK means I’ve absorbed a slightly more cautious relationship to colour.

But, there is wintertime Otegha, and there is a summer version of me. By May or June, I find myself itching to shed my usual uniform of tasteful neutrals and try on a different, more adventurous version of myself. I want clothes that match my mood – which in summer is joyful, and more spontaneous, with a propensity to say ‘yes’ instead of no.

If clothes are a language, a way of communicating to others – and I believe that they are – then that is never more true than during summer. The way you dress is a signal to other people about your state of mind, and vibrant, patterned clothes constitute a greeting – they say that you are open: to conversation, or flirting, maybe something more…

With all of that said, summer dressing does present some challenges – fewer layers and fewer components to an outfit means that each item must work extra hard to earn its keep. Is there a brand better suited to this challenge than Missoni, with their iconic, instantly recognisable zig zag stripe? Woven on the fashion house’s Caperdoni looms – a machine that can work with up to 287 colours simultaneously, weaving them into what is essentially a wearable rainbow, Missoni is the quintessential Italian brand (which also supports my theory that some cultures take more naturally to vibrant dressing than others – so, file Italians alongside Nigerians in that respect).

So, how to channel that Missoni spirit of wardrobe optimism this summer?

For the inexperienced, or nervous, I’d advise starting small: a brightly patterned scarf will always serve you well. Worn as a headscarf, it gives you a touch of Slim Aarons-inspired elegance; tied around the strap of your work bag, it brings an infusion of joy to the everyday.

For the more seasoned prints wearer, consider pattern clashing – that is, mixing two, or maybe even three different prints in the same outfit, as Missoni did so impeccably with many of the looks they sent down the runway this season.

And – although I previously said summer is an excuse to dispense with practicality on the sartorial front – I do have one small caveat to offer, which is to consider comfort. By that I mean prioritising sensuality, and buying fabrics that feel good against your skin. One of the many advantages of shopping in-person is being able to run your fingertips across the rails, and letting your sense of touch guide you just as much as your sight does. Because a good outfit isn’t just about how it looks, but also how it feels – a useful thing to remember when getting dressed every morning, but also I think, a pretty good guiding principle for life in general.

Until next time,

Greetings Spendthrifts,

I had planned to use the ‘culture’ section of this month’s newsletter to write about Robert Pattinson and Zendaya’s new movie The Drama, a film that provoked a frankly surprising amount of discourse and is also – fittingly – about a wedding. I’d even written a rough draft, had it all ready to send out to you guys—

—And then Justin Baldoni and Blake Lively issued a joint statement announcing they’d settled their long-running and bitterly acrimonious feud just weeks before the highly anticipated trial was set to begin, and I felt it my moral duty to weigh in.

Also, as Marie Kondo once famously said:

More on the trial that never was below. First up though - it’s wedding season!

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THE SHOPPIES: WEDDING EDITION

I want to contextualise the style advice you’re about to read by informing you that, a couple of weeks ago, I scrolled past a Substack post about wedding guest outfits titled ‘How To Be The Best Dressed When It’s Not About You’, and the voice in my head automatically went ‘…but it’s always about me?’

The thing I hate about the style guidance usually offered around weddings is that it seemingly assumes you want to look as conventional as possible, and inevitably devolves into a blur of uninspiring florals and satin bias cut dresses that beg the question: why willingly wear an ugly dress to a wedding when you’re not even in the bridal party?

When I go to a wedding - or indeed any kind of dressy occasion - my main goal is to look cool, and possibly also a bit sexy (sometimes ‘cool’ precludes sexy, sometimes it doesn’t). And if I’m buying something especially for said event, it HAS to be something I’ll actually wear again elsewhere (choosing separates really helps with this).

Below then, some ideas on how to approach getting dressed for wedding season if, like me, you see life as a movie in which everyone else is just a supporting character (haha just kidding.. sort of).

‘COOL DRESSES’

The obvious advantage of wearing a dress (as opposed to separates) is the one-and-done nature of them. I’m calling these dresses ‘cool dresses’ because they’re the sort of thing you wear to your cool fashion friend’s London wedding (rather than, say, a traditional countryside affair).

I don’t really understand this tie-dye Ottolinger dress (currently 20% off at checkout) but I do know I like it, and that’s what counts. I’ve also had my eye on this deadstock patchwork Rave Review dress for a while now - florals that actually look cool (and worth the duties charge for UK shoppers IMO):

And there’s just a handful of smaller sizes left of this (on sale!) buttercup yellow ruched Conner Ives dress, but I like it enough to still include it here. The silver strappy sandals it’s been styled with are a good look too IMO.

Two high-street options, both Zara: the cobalt blue faux suede bandeau dress above would look great with silver jewellery (am also into the cord necklace they’ve styled it with) and flat sandals, while this patchwork print midi dress punches way above its £40 price tag IMO.

Rat & Boa is one of those brands that actually makes some pretty showstopping dresses but somehow gets slightly overlooked both by the fashion media, and by yours truly. I love the butterfly-inspired print that’s woven throughout their new summer collection though:

I’d go for either this dress or this one for a wedding (and save this sultry little number for your summer hols).

FORMAL/BLACK TIE DRESSES

Well guess what? Almost all the dresses in this category come in one of the above colours, which is honestly a genuine coincidence but also - I resent that all the best colours are somehow verboten at weddings!! And look, if anyone makes a comment about the fact you’re wearing black, red or some other spuriously ‘forbidden’ colour, here’s what you do: you look them in the eye and say, as witheringly as you possibly can, “don’t be so parochial”, and then you walk away.

Now that’s out of the way, this open-back knitted Reformation dress is SO slinky and divine, and the kind of dress I can see myself wearing over and over again (the beauty of a simple black dress).

If you really want to bring the drama then this scarlet red Issey Miyake dress is the one. And this black knitted H&M dress does admittedly seem a touch sheer, though for a warm weather destination wedding I think that’s fine - practical even. Wear with simple gold earrings and some jazzy t-bar sandals (these embellished Aquazzura jelly sandals have seen me through two summers and are about to see me through a third).

Some people will tell you you can’t wear a cream sequinned gown to someone else’s wedding. Those people are wrong (it’s patterned, okay?) - also, if the wedding is glamorous enough, then this totally works for a black tie evening reception do. Wear it with a black tuxedo-style jacket on top - Mango has some good options (here’s another, also from their Capsule collection), as does Massimo Dutti.

This navy Jacquemus dress is cheapest on Cettire (although this Net A Porter visual gives a better idea of how it actually looks on). Relatedly, navy is a great colour to go for if your natural habitat is black but the wedding you’re attending is a little too traditional to risk it.

And Rejina Pyo’s gorgeous Erica dress (available in blush pink/mint green/chocolate brown/black/buttercup yellow) is guaranteed to keep the compliments flowing all night long - I should know, I wore it to a wedding a few years ago, paired with an athletics-coded pair of Miu Miu sandals to offset the ‘prettiness’ of the dress.

There are a few knocking about on the fashion rental platform HURR too - here’s a mint green one in UK10 and the pink one (not mine lol) in UK6.

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TOP & TROUSER COMBOS

The advantage of buying separates is you’re far more likely to wear them again afterwards, just styled with different items. I haven’t bothered with any skirts here as I so rarely do skirts for formalwear (or indeed ever).

First up, I recently put some H&M credit I had to good use with this satin-y bandeau top which looks fabulous on (especially with this mother of pearl shell sequin bag, which I also bought… what can I say, the product styling got me!) Pair it with wide-leg trousers, or perhaps a more tapered silhouette like these khaki linen balloon leg trousers.

Massimo Dutti’s new summer collection is absolutely lush (although their website’s shockingly bad UX literally makes me want to SCREAM into a PILLOW). This cowl neck top looks brilliant with the suede butter yellow balloon trousers they’ve styled it with, though I’d team it with these lighter versions if I was going somewhere super-hot for a wedding. Add a ‘naked’ strappy heel so you don’t look too Aladdin.

I am also VERY into the idea of tailored shorts for formal occasions, though they do need to be knee-length. These off-white Róhe ones are perfectly cut IMO, while this Massimo Dutti pair are a fantastic option at a lower price point. I’d wear them with something like these metallic Tom Ford kitten heels which I still regret not buying when they were going for tuppence in the Matches Fashion closing down sale (also available in a plethora of colours here and here).

And you can never go wrong with some Issey Miyake Pleats Please, at a wedding or otherwise. If you’ve been wanting to add some Pleats Please to your wardrobe, I spotted Harvey Nicks is currently offering 30% off lots of their online wares with the code HELLOSPRINGCUR (although I don’t know how long for!)

SUITING

It probably goes without saying that I’m partial to a suit for a wedding - I don’t think men should get to commandeer tailoring for formal occasions, and suits also score very highly on the ‘will I wear this again’ meter.

Surprise! The khaki linen H&M trousers I linked above are actually part of this fabulous suit (blazer here - love the curved lapel). I initially bought just the trousers (which I’ve already been getting loads of use out of this spring), before coming to my senses literally as I was writing this newsletter and ordering the matching blazer too. Both are low in stock so I’d advise you to move fast if you’re a fan.

The navy suit I’m wearing here is actually separates that happened to match (actually selling the Acne Studios trousers on Vinted as they no longer fit me - snap ‘em up if you’re a UK6! Do not ‘make me an offer’). And of course my trusty Jil Sander sandals, because flat shoes make so much sense for a wedding - you just have to find a smart enough pair.

And - you guessed it - even more Rejina Pyo (she really is my go-to for formal outfits you’ll actually feel cool in and wear again). Here’s all her current tailoring - I think my favourite might be this soft blue linen suit jacket (those buttons!) which you can combine with either the matching trousers or (my personal preference) shorts.

There are also loads of Rejina Pyo bargains on The Outnet (including plenty of ‘cool dresses’ - lamé anyone?). On the tailoring front, here’s a gorgeous yellow wool-blend suit (blazer/trousers) as well as a sage green one (blazer/trousers) that you could also combine with the matching skirt if that’s more your speed.

SHOES

I’ve been evangelical about independent London-based brand IZIE ever since I wore a pair of their heels to and from a wedding in Surrey (including getting the train there) and found my feet miraculously didn’t hurt at all, even though I left my house in the morning and got home at 2am. These sublime gold mesh mules are the pair I wore (although actually the cobalt blue colorway is sickening) - simultaneously high enough (9cm) to feel like you’re going ‘full glam’ and yet still, somehow, extremely comfortable.

Also on my radar are The Outnet’s excellent array of Neous shoes, all at 50% off - this pair have been on my wishlist for at least a year now… that delicate little tie and tiny pearl is just too darling!

They’d look fabulous with that black knitted Reformation dress or really any simple black column dress - Solace London does great ones (assorted sizes and styles in stock here, here and here).

And my goodness - the sexual tension between me and these Jacquemus shoes!!! Informal polling among my friends yielded what I shall call a mixed reception, but I love ‘em and that’s all that matters. They sold out pretty sharpish on Net A Porter but are currently 25% off at Farfetch.

A postscript, for brides: I hadn’t planned to share any bridal fashion in this newsletter, but just as I was pulling it together Rohé launched their impeccable new bridal collection and I knew I had to include it, essentially as a sort of public service for brides who aren’t planning on the big white dress but don’t know what else to wear.

The collection is perfect for a more low-key registry-office-and-then-fancy-lunch sort of wedding (and a damn sight cheaper than regular bridalwear). This reversed blazer and satin bustier top both get my vote, and the made-to-order sculptural silk hat is to DIE for.

Relatedly, IZIE also have an excellent range of bridal shoes too, which is important to know because the last thing you want is to be hobbling around on your big day.

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INTERIORS INTERLUDE

Cometh the sun, cometh the need for an outdoor parasol! I spent months looking for a decent one for my little balcony last summer - pretty much all of the parasols on the market were far too large, or if they were small enough, they were made from plastic and exceptionally flimsy. All except for—

—This gorgeous Zara Home one, which I am still SO happy with. The quality is excellent, and it withstands rain very well too. Lots of people asked where it was from when I posted it on Instagram last summer but by that point it’d long sold out - so here is the updated version Zara Home released this summer. FYI: I’d advise not waiting until it’s consistently sunny to buy a garden parasol as by that point they tend to have sold out (I learned this the hard way). Go for the matching base if you’ve got a decent sized patio, or for the spatially challenged, here’s the base I went for myself.

BALDONI V LIVELY: IS THIS REALLY THE END?

And now - finally - to unpack the Blake Lively v Justin Baldoni settlement and speculate on what next for everyone involved… because despite the initial statement this looks far from over, given Lively still intends to pursue Baldoni for damages relating to the counter lawsuit he filed in response to her initial lawsuit (keep up!!) - which could result in a payout of millions of dollars.

To refresh your memory on how this all began, you can read the newsletter I wrote about the feud all the way back in January 2025, a few weeks after news of Lively’s lawsuit/Baldoni’s counterlawsuit first made headlines:

Fast-forward to May 2026, and after one of the most vicious and public celebrity feuds of recent times, countless leaks, attacks and counterattacks - and with the trial set to commence in a matter of weeks - the duo surprised the world by issuing a joint statement announcing they’d settled their lawsuit just a few hours before Lively attended the Met Gala.

I can’t decide if they released the news that night in order to bury it, or in order to allow Blake to Met in peace (yes I’m using ‘Met’ as a verb) by signalling a fresh start at one of the most high-profile events of the celeb calendar. My other working theory is that both camps conspired to release the news on that day specifically to spite me, because even one day earlier and I’d have been able to write about it for my Grazia column, but alas – print deadlines wait for no one. Either way, we can be sure that the Met of it all was not a coincidence.

The statement read:

The end product – the movie “It Ends With Us” – is a source of pride to all of us who worked to bring it to life. Raising awareness, and making a meaningful impact in the lives of domestic violence survivors – and all survivors – is a goal that we stand behind. We acknowledge the process presented challenges and recognize concerns raised by Ms. Lively deserved to be heard. We remain firmly committed to workplaces free of improprieties and unproductive environments. It is our sincere hope that this brings closure and allows all involved to move forward constructively and in peace, including a respectful environment online.

And my immediate thought upon reading it was—

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Greetings Spendthrifts,

A quick bit of housekeeping: if you’re reading this post in the Substack app, please make sure you’re also on my email list by entering your email below. I might not always use Substack as my tool of choice for sending out this newsletter - this mailing list started out on Mailchimp, and I’m on Substack (for now) - and if that changes, you won’t be subscribed. If you already get this newsletter to your email inbox, no need to do anything.

Below the paywall today, a cultural roundup that includes:

• My thoughts on Belle Burden’s Oprah-endorsed, Gwyneth-Paltrow-and-Netflix-optioned divorce memoir Strangers; the Rashomon-esque debut novel I absolutely loved (and literally skipped dinner to carry on reading - unheard of), and the Vogue-approved guide to entertaining at home I’m hoping to pick up a few tips from.

• A TV drama about middle aged suburban malaise that has me hooked (and that I wish more people were talking about).

• Articles to drop links to in the group chat: one of our finest novelists takes on the Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor and Jeffrey Epstein saga (you’ll want to read this one); the story of a sensational lawsuit that contains this pearl of wisdom: “it is never advisable to respond, without legal counsel, to a letter from the lawyer of someone threatening to sue you”, swiftly followed by someone who proceeds to do exactly that; and the best take on the whole Lindy West polyamary drama I’ve read so far. (On the subject of group chats, this rigorously-reported deep dive into the Beckham family drama set my group chat on fire when it dropped yesterday).

And more!

Now, picking up where I left off last week and finishing off my spring reccs with a quick run through of some beauty products I’m enjoying right now. As a reminder, Part I - with all the fashion - went out last week and is free to read here:

BEAUTY

After years of sticking to the same perfume come rain or shine, these days I’ve become a little sluttier when it comes to my perfume choices. I recently switched out my winter perfume for the more spring-appropriate Vanilla Powder by Matiere Premiere, a scent that frequently elicits compliments from friends and strangers alike and also has real staying power - I find it tends to linger on my clothes until I actually wash them.

I like that the brand still feels a bit niche and insider-y - although they’ve actually just opened a London flagship in Covent Garden (pictured below) so I imagine change is afoot. Their sample size discovery set is a very economical £18 if you want to try out a few scents before committing to a larger bottle (and if you need recommendations on which scents to fill it with, I’m also partial to Crystal Saffron, Bois d'Ébène, and Parisian Musc).

I’m also thinking about getting myself a little Byredo Blanche roll-on perfume oil (I can’t justify adding another full-sized scent to my already HEAVING collection, and this is the closest to travel sized they do). I remember absolutely loving this scent when I spritzed myself with it at a counter years ago. It’s very clean and spring-appropriate, as you can probably tell by the fact the product description mentions ‘fresh sheets’, ‘laundry baskets’ and ‘detergent’ (not that I’m complaining).

I’m not really one for colour on my lips, generally preferring lip products that are basically just ‘my lips but better’- semi-sheer nudes, sometimes a matte brown. I’ve been using Victoria Beckham’s Posh Balm for a while now - it’s a tinted lip balm with just the slightest hint of colour to it that looks super natural, but still actually shows up on darker skin tones. I love the cool pink tones of Fleur for spring, which is what I’m wearing in the screenshot above - I find most pink tinted lipbalms look garish but not this one - though I’m increasingly tempted by the warmer brown tones of Cannelle.

I was debating with a friend who also loves this product whether £30 is a bit steep for a tinted lip balm, but we both agreed that for a lip product we love this much… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. She’s also, um, white (I was trying to find the beauty industry-appropriate way of saying that - fair? pale?) so clearly it’s versatile enough for lots of different skin tones.

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THE ROUNDUP

BOOKS

Proof that - in a blow to beleaguered authors, publicists and editors everywhere - book blurbs really do matter, because I read this one purely on the strength of said blurbs. Khaled Hosseini, Monica Ali and Ann Patchett aren’t names you see blurbing debut novelists every day, so I knew this had to be worth a read - and it did not disappoint!

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Greetings Spendthrifts,

No paywall today ‘cause I’m in a good mood 😁

I’ve also at the very last minute decided to split this month’s newsletter into TWO parts, as I got completely carried away and it had become so long I worried the second half might get a bit lost… So today’s newsletter is the fashion stuff, and I’ve scheduled the second half - featuring a few beauty recommendations and a tonne of culture ones - to go out next week.

Otherwise, this month’s newsletter is a big ol’ spring fashion bonanza, with a specific focus on helping you plug those tricky-to-fill springtime wardrobe gaps, divided into the three key categories that most effectively help me transition into spring (but which I also find trickiest to nail): jackets, shoes, and trousers.

And I imagine there are more than a few readers subscribed to this newsletter, in which case you’ll be pleased to hear that on Monday 27th April I’ll be in conversation with the wonderful (founder of Tibi) at Second Home in Shoreditch. We’ll be discussing her new book Almost Reckless, and the ins and outs of how she’s built such a successful creative business by trusting her gut.

I’ve written before in this newsletter about how Amy’s style philosophy transformed how I approach getting dressed, and I have every expectation that her new book will be similarly life-enhancing. The event is free to attend and you can register your spot here.

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This feature is brought to you by Gap.

Now, how soon is too soon to start thinking about holiday outfits? I’m in the middle of trying to line up various spring and summer trips, so naturally I’m also thinking about what I’ll be wearing on said trips. I really try to adopt a more measured approach to holidaywear and avoid the chaos of a last minute pre-holiday panic shop - and I especially try to buy items that can also work for London summers too, rather than some beaded crochet smock dress sarong thingy (or whatever) that I’ll maybe pull out once on holiday and never again. Enter Gap’s travel collection, a lineup of wardrobe essentials designed to be your staples on every trip.

I’ve picked a few of my favourite combos below so - let’s get into it.

First up, these striped linen cotton trousers which are giving French nautical maybe-I-own-a-boat vibes, paired with a white vest (they’d look good with something navy too IMO).

I’m wearing them with the blue jelly flip flops I bought last summer to add a bit of colour, a YSSO cord necklace, and some old Ferragamo shades (found ‘em for you on eBay).

And I suspect this navy t-shirt will be getting a lot of use from me this summer - it’s the perfect fit and stretchiness, and a really nice thickness too.

Here I’ve worn it with a pair of long denim shorts (sorry I refuse to call them ‘jorts’!!!) because I am firmly on board with the Bermuda shorts renaissance. [Side note: this recent New Yorker feature charting Zac Posen’s efforts to engineer a ‘Gapaissance’ in his two-and-a-bit years as the brand’s creative director is a really good read - full of insightful analysis on the role fashion plays within today’s cultural ecosystem.]

A few other bits from this collection that caught my eye: this oversized linen shirt, which is as good for a poolside cover up as it is for a visit to your favourite brocante (I always pack an oversized linen shirt for summer holidays, and it ALWAYS gets worn). And I like the silhouette and neckline on this brown linen camisole top, which makes it smart enough for dinner somewhere ‘nice’. I’d combine it with white on my lower half - perhaps the off white version of those linen trousers up top.

Happy holiday-ing!

THE SHOPPIES

All the things I’m buying, wearing and coveting as we move into spring.

OUTERWEAR

I already have two excellent trench coats in my wardrobe so I won’t personally be indulging this spring, but if I did need a new trench I’d abide by these two rules: keep it on the longer side, below knee length; and stick to something on the greenish-grey-olive-khaki colour spectrum (it’s just a bit cooler than the traditional beige IMO). I’m deeply annoyed that this objectively perfect COS trench sold out before I could get it to you guys, although I’d set an alert to be notified of any restocks and move fast if/when the odd return comes back in (nearly always works for me with COS).

This Frankie Shop trench is also excellent, and I LOVE the neon pop on this (on sale!) Herno belted trench below - I feel like the belt sort of does the accessorising for you? Actually pretty tempted to get this one for myself you literally JUST said you have enough trench coats, Otegha.

There’s only one of these army green WARDROBE.NYC trenches left in stock on The Outnet (going for 70% off too, a VERY healthy discount). I’ve never really taken a proper look at Studio Nicholson as a brand but that might have to change because this trench coat is excellent, and perfect for anyone after something more pared-back and minimal.

And look, I don’t know where resale platform Curate & Rotate get their seemingly endless supply of deadstock Raey from but I also don’t care - this sage green trench (available in sizes 8-14) is so good I’d buy it even if you told me they ‘fell off the back of a truck’ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ The kelly green lining is a really nice touch.

And finally, this chocolate brown suede trench from Rise & Fall is astonishingly well priced given the material and length (sidenote: I thought Rise & Fall was just a bedding and homeware brand but a friend recently tipped me off to their womenswear range which is very Toteme/Theory/Joseph coded, just less ££. I’m not doing tops in today’s newsletter but couldn’t resist including this yummy merino wool knitted vest, which has wardrobe staple written all over it).

I got a lot of DMs about the leather jacket above when I posted it to my Instagram stories a few weeks ago (it’s from Our Legacy but alas! a few years old), so I thought I’d find you a few more alts. Of importance: the boxy cut, which feels very Nineties-coded. In fact I think I bought that jacket specifically because of this photo of Rachel Green wearing an identical version:

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So - here is a really good high street version (probably the best high street option I’ve seen actually, and at time of writing 15% off). Although hang about - maybe Massimo Dutti deserves that accolade instead (I’d opt for this blazer-style jacket if you prefer a longer length, or this one if you’re into a slightly more cropped cut).

And I reaalllly like this one by new (to me) brand Arma, although the only size left in stock of that specific style is a UK 6 (sorreeee - I looked all over the Internet for more sizes for you guys). Here’s more Arma though: at the time of writing Harvey Nicks are offering 20% off at checkout on a very similar style, while this style already looks like it’s selling out quickly and might actually be the closest to the Our Legacy version I own. And there’s just ONE left of this Victoria Beckham version, going for 60% off on The Outnet - it’s bit more oversized than the others but I’m into it. Oh, and Curate & Rotate have a (current season!!) St Agni one going for £275 as opposed to £550, although it’s got a slightly more contemporary vibe IMO (no bad thing).

As for non-leather spring jackets, I’m very much feeling slightly technical windbreaker styles, maybe with added funnelneck if I really feel like biting Phoebe Philo’s steeze. (Speaking of Mme Philo, I noticed that MyTheresa are the latest new stockist of her wares - I hear Net A Porter’s EIP customers have been able to Philo-shop for a while now).

I like the freshness of this white Róhe windbreaker, which has a sporty cool-girl vibe to it (very Peggy Gou). That said, I’m feeling very drawn to a taupe/mole/dark beige colour palette right now, for maximum versatility with the rest of my wardrobe - black is too dark for spring, although I will allow navy e.g this resale Raey short mac. If I was in treat myself mode (when is she not I hear you cry!), I’d splurge on this gorgeous funnelneck Róhe safari-style jacket:

Here’s a more affordable on-sale version by A.Emery (GREAT colour too, and an insanely good price for 100% wool), and an even more on sale twill Toteme version for under £200 (!)

SHOES

Scrolling through Instagram the other day, I came across this post by handbag brand Manu Atelier:

Although funnily enough it wasn’t the bag that caught my eye (here if you want it though) but the shoes - specifically the way the right pair of white shoes had turned an otherwise dark and wintery colour palette into a perfect spring outfit. As someone whose wardrobe is full of navy, grey and black, this seemed like the perfect solve for bringing said items into spring and I immediately went looking for a similar pair.

Fortunately white jazz shoes or derby shoes are trending right now (even the New York Times says so), on account of the ones Celine sent down their SS26 runway last year:

…So there are plenty to choose from. Lots of luxury brands are doing a version of these this season, including Proenza Schouler (going for 10% off on MyTheresa if you’re a first time shopper, a category which I have sadly long aged out of), Margiela (their Tabi-inflected take on this shoe is 15% off on Ssense at the time of writing) and Lemaire (MyTheresa, again, as above).

For my money the best pair on the market right now - and the ones currently in my basket - are these off white Soeur ones:

They’re an incredibly elegant shape (I like the fact there’s no ‘tongue’ so you get a little glimpse of skin) and a decent balance between quality and price if those designer versions are a little too rich for your blood.

This classic pair from COS are also very good, and available in black too:

American readers*, do also consider these Caron Callahan derbies which are spiritually very similar to the Soeur ones but come in optic white if that’s important to you [*they DO ship internationally but... the tariffs, man]. And these white Arket mesh trainers aren’t strictly derbies but they do have a similarly sleek profile that I like a lot.

Speaking of shoes - after mentioning how enamoured I am of my new Nomasei loafers last month, I very soon after clocked the not dissimilar Dior medallion loafers in their new Spring/Summer campaign, the first under Jonathan Anderson’s reign:

And, when I posted my Nomasei pair to Instagram stories the other day someone replied saying ‘Dior?’ so - do with that information what you will. Anyway, I now have all sorts of fresh ideas on how to style these loafers I hadn’t considered before - specifically leaning into softer, more feminine looks, which isn’t necessarily where my head immediately goes for loafers.

Florals (and loafers) for spring? I do actually think that might be groundbreaking!

TROUSERS

It’s not quite capris weather yet, and probably won’t be for a while - but I still feel like springtime calls for a different approach to your lower half when it comes to both colour and fabric.

I’ve been circling Tibi’s Lightweight Winslow Sweatpants for a while now, which are much smarter than the word ‘sweatpant’ implies. They have a clever snap button function at the hem to stop them from dragging on the ground, which is honestly a Godsend because - as trendy as the trouser ‘puddling’ look is - it’s also deeply impractical when it rains (ask me how I know that). I’d go for either the dark stone or olive colourways.

I also managed to cop this lovely pair of khaki-ish/sage green wool Bottega Veneta trousers on sale last summer, which I’m looking forward to wearing now that the weather’s improving (they needed an alteration that I’ve only just got around to doing). I just spotted that they’re still available in a couple of sizes at Cettire if you’re interested (although that product shot is terrible - here’s a better look at them).

I also really like these checked relax-fit trousers by Róhe, although funnily enough it was actually seeing them styled with a navy top here that made me take a second look at them - I love that colour combo.

The MVP on the spring trouser front for me though has to be these Frankie Shop trousers. I love the drawstring hem. I love the colour. I love that the waistband is elasticated but also has belt loops. These, I’m sure, are the one item that will finally complete my wardrobe (ha ha ha). Stay tuned.

Relatedly, I’ve long wanted to work a long column skirt into my spring/summer wardrobe, as an alt I can turn to as easily as I do a pair of jeans (with the added advantage of being a bit smarter than jeans are). A simple ‘goes with everything’ skirt if you will. So I scoured the Internet for one, and because I kept coming back to this St Agni number:

In the end I very nobly took one for the team (you’re welcome) and ordered it so I could tell you if it was a yay or a nay.

It’s a yes from me Simon, thanks to that low rise waist, minimal silhouette (no belt loops, no visible zip, no darting, no nothing!) and the length, which is maxi NOT midi. Very important. The only drawback to this skirt is that it’s a few seasons old - which means it’s on sale (good) but only available in limited sizes (bad). I tried really hard to find a few alts for you guys but this was the only one that just looked right (at least based off product shots) so I won’t link any others for now. Here’s everywhere that still has a few sizes knocking about: Farfetch, FRWD, and St Agni for a plum version rather than my dark grey.

Alright - that’s it for today. Part Two, featuring a handful of beauty products I’m switching over to for Spring, and a culture roundup of the best books, TV and articles I’ve read or watched lately - will be in your inboxes next week.

Until then,

You might like:

Greetings Spendthrifts,

I’ve had more on my mind than in my shopping basket this month, so today’s newsletter contains lots more writing than links - a smorgasboard of opinions on recent cultural happenings I’d have covered in my Grazia column if timings had allowed (on which note - my column on the BAFTAS n-word fiasco really seems to have resonated with people, judging from the DMs I’ve had since).

So what opinions lie therein? Well - per the subject line - I wanted to expand on the column I wrote about Serena’s weight loss drug ads (which also prompted some pretty interesting DMs and conversations) as I had a lot more to say than my word count allowed for. I saw Wuthering Heights and I too have an opinion on it. On the fashion front, I’ve been feeling incredibly smug about finding the perfect pair of smart-but-also-casual-enough-for-daytime trousers for only £70, and I also have my beady eye set on a few more spring-forward bits now that our 40 days and nights of rain is supposedly at an end. Plus, a newly opened vintage interiors store I can’t wait to visit.

First up though - let’s get into the Serena of it all.

SERENA WILLIAMS VS PUBLIC OPINION (…‘TWAS EVER THUS)

TW: weight loss discussion – if that’s not your bag, feel free to scroll onto the next section.

I’d been aware of Serena’s ambassadorship for a telehealth company that prescribes weight loss drugs since it was announced last summer amidst a flurry of press - interviews, photoshoots, Oprah co-signs… the works. At the time I didn’t think about it too much, simply filed it away as Not Good.

Then her Super Bowl ad dropped last month (you can watch it here) and social media was once again flooded with commentary – most of it critical – about her choice to a) take GLP-1s and b) promote them. An obvious choice for my column, and I already knew what stance I’d take: one of the greatest athletes of all time, a woman whose body had carried her to a record-breaking number of Grand Slam wins and who had seemingly managed to rise above the torrent of negative commentary on her physique over the years (too big, too muscular, too masculine, too Black), in the process becoming an inspiration for millions of Black women the world over, suddenly pivoting to shill …weight loss drugs? Surely that was a bad thing - right?

But as I sat down to make my case, I began to question exactly why my instinctive response had been negative - because as I wrote in my column:

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And Happy New Year! (A greeting which is valid through January as far as I’m concerned). I hope your 2026 is off to a good start - I started mine with a 10-day solo writing retreat in Amsterdam, c/o a friend who very generously lent me his empty flat (Eduardo, ¡te amo!) and it was exactly what I needed.

I’ve been to Amsterdam a few times before but this was my first time visiting during winter - my trip happened to coincide with a week-long stretch of snowy weather, which made sitting by the fire writing (and, ahem, watching Traitors) feel even cosier and more atmospheric.

I’ve written about writing retreats in this newsletter before - how to plan ‘em, how long to go away for, how to get the most out of them etc—

—and this one really helped me get back into the headspace of a project I’d felt out of touch with for several months now, so job done on that front (and long may it last!)

And obviously I managed to squeeze in a few little side quests during my downtime - I stopped by Carmen Amsterdam for lunch and a snoop:

And woke up at SIX AM (me!!) to go to a flea market I’ve wanted to return to ever since I first visited it a decade ago and swore to come back to when I finally had my own place.

I ended up leaving with the floor lamp below, an absolute steal at €60 (I’ve since discovered they go for several hundred pounds on eBay, 1stDibs et al). Now I just need to find the right lampshade for it - I’m thinking something tall and conical, or maybe (bear with me)… some sort of metallic… mesh?

(Look I’m obsessed with Wretched Flowers chainmail lamps okay? Alas, I don’t have $10k to spare, so trying to recreate their ~vibe~ on a budget):

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Full debrief on the flea market - where it is, what to take, and how to get the best deals - is post-paywall, as is the main part of this month’s newsletter: a selection of secondhand furniture and interiors gems I’ve unearthed by trawling through Facebook Marketplace so you don’t have to.

Before we get to all that though, a quick recap of all my Grazia Culture Debrief columns since my last newsletter send: I wrote about The Traitors racism problem, and why I dislike the phrase ‘unconscious bias’ so much (this one, to quote Harriet, really set the cat among the pigeons over on Instagram). These are my 2026 Ins and Outs, let’s check in again come December. I cosplayed as Club Chalamet* for a hot second and wrote about Timothée Chalamet’s innate understanding of the attention economy (*which is probably fine given she seems to have set her sights on a new target…). Curse of America’s Next Top Model was one of my favourite podcast series last year, not least because it revealed so many juicy tidbits about the show I’d never have suspected. And all the way back in November, I wrote about how Sydney Sweeney’s months-long silence about the American Eagle campaign was sending the wrong message - and mere days later, she finally issued a statement (sorta) distancing herself from the MAGA crowd. Coincidence? I think not. And, oh! I also interviewed Kate Winslet for one of Grazia’s December covers :)

Speaking of interviews, I was very flattered to be included in the new Winter issue of Kinfolk, talking about class, privilege and my own relationship with money, as well as why I’ve (mostly) stopped writing about money these days, and what I’m working on at the moment. The feature was accompanied by some lovely photos—

—and the entire issue is money-themed and a 10/10 read. It also features conversations with HTSI Editor Jo Ellison, author of the moment Solvej Balle, artist Maggi Hambling and tonnes of other fascinating people (i.e. endless reasons to pick up a copy besides yours truly).

Also coming up in this month’s culture recommendations section, two STUNNING end of year reads that turned around what had otherwise been a pretty dismal reading year, and the Aaliyah-esque musician soundtracking my winter evenings.

Let’s get into it.

THE SHOPPIES

A brief run through of things I’ve been wearing, buying and coveting.

1. This sheer pink Fruity Booty tank (as seen on food writer , below) which also happens to be on sale.

2. APC’s Virginie box bag. It took me a little while to figure out how to style this one as it’s a more structured handbag than I normally go for. The answer? As an evening/date night/party bag that’s large enough to carry all your stuff but still polished enough to look like eveningwear. (FYI - the crinkled leather version is currently on sale).

3. I am astonished - ASTONISHED - that these Mango shoes (now on sale for £36) haven’t yet gone TikTok viral and sold out. They are a perfect dupe of the (long sold out and £1200+) patent Chanel moccasins from their Resort 25 collection, and while I’m not usually a dupe person these were honestly just too good to resist.

I ended up wearing them loads during the festive season when I wanted to dress up for parties but couldn’t bring myself to wear heels, and I think they’ll also be a good spring shew, per the collection of images I’ve put together below:

I’m so pleased with them I’m tempted to buy a second pair for after I’ve inevitably worn my current ones into the ground.

4. Tortware hair clips - so cute, I can’t pick just one!! Okay maybe this one.

5. Been tempted to gatekeep these Cup + Cloth rugs (I think they’re throws really) because I ultimately want one for my flat but they’re just so nice and also made by a small independent business so… here you go.

6. &Daughter knitwear keeps me going during winter - I wore one of their snoods the entire time I was in Amsterdam (much prefer snoods to scarves), and this jumper is also currently on heavy rotation, and on sale! (Their entire winter sale is actually worth a look FYI - I find their stuff really lasts, so justifies the £).

FACEBOOK MARKETPLACE

Facebook Marketplace is for the rummagers; for the people who love the thrill of the hunt. I realised as I prised myself out of bed at 6am to venture into the snow for a Dutch flea market, that you’re either built for this life (rummaging) or you’re not. To my eternal surprise - as someone who values comfort, efficiency and sleep above all else - I actually am.

And my favourite place to rummage of late has been Facebook Marketplace, mostly because I can do it from the comfort of my sofa. Through months of painstaking work (scrolling), I’ve manipulated my algorithm into only showing me really excellent secondhand/vintage furniture and homewares (Zuckerberg’s algorithms = bad unless they’re specifically helpful to me!!) - and now I’m sharing the fruits of that labour with you. We all have that friend with the unbelievable coffee table/dining set/armchair they “got off Facebook Marketplace for only 50p!” (dickhead)- well, now’s your chance to be that friend.

I’ve set my search settings to only show me items within 50km of London, and I haven’t included anything that needs to be reupholstered or otherwise repaired, because really - who can be f*cking bothered. It’s an eclectic mix - mainly Art Deco, mid century and brutalist items, which is where my own tastes lie - but the main thing they all have in common is that they represent good value.

As with all things you have to move fast if you see something you like - the best stuff moves quickly on Marketplace (there are so many links I wanted to share with you here, only to find the items had already been sold). Sellers also tend to prioritise whoever will make their life easiest, i.e. whoever can come pick an item up first (do NOT try to put things on hold on FB Marketplace).

All listings below are available as of send-out this morning - happy rummaging.

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Greetings Spendthrifts,

Back in your inboxes with the rest of my ‘evergreen’ gift guide - link below for Part I:

…And keep reading for Part II which, as I mentioned on Monday, is a more eclectic roundup of individual items (as opposed to entire brand/retailer recommendations). No paywall on this one as it’s a quick one, and also… Christmas, y’know? Let’s get into it.

Probably not a great idea to open a gift guide with a sold out (at the time of writing) item but a) it’s my gift guide and I’ll include what I want to, and b) I imagine this’ll be restocked at some point in the future. Also the ‘Big is moving to Paris’* meme gives me SO MUCH JOY every time I see it on Twitter/X, I couldn’t not include this ashtray (which I also badly want made into a t-shirt).

(*a meme explainer for those of you who aren’t as Chronically Online as I am)

Brought to you by Add To Wishlist brand partner Liberty.

I mention Liberty all the time in this newsletter as it’s my favourite shop to wander around when I’m at a loose end - especially the Fragrance Lounge on the Lower Ground Floor, where you’ll find the gorgeous display that houses the Liberty LBTY. Fragrance collection.

Created by some of the world’s top perfumers (or ‘noses’, per the industry term), the fragrances take iconic Liberty prints as their inspiration - and their newest fragrance Liberty 1875, a bold, smoky tuberose scent, actually features a bottle cap design inspired by the Tudor architecture of the Liberty building itself.

I recently dropped by the store to explore the LBTY. collection, where one of their supremely knowledgeable store assistants talked me through each scent (and in fact, I think a fabulous gift idea if you’re not confident enough picking out a perfume for someone is the Into The Archive consultation service they offer in the Fragrance Lounge) - I ended up leaving with a bottle of the incredibly moreish Adelphi Sun (very fresh, very green, slightly citrusy).

All Liberty LBTY. fragrances come in 50ml, 100ml, and an 8ml travel size - any of which I can guarantee your loved ones would be delighted to find under the Xmas tree this year.

Socks too good to cover up, in every colour of the rainbow c/o Comme Si - I’d go for the Yves or Agnelli styles.

Comme Si’s loungewear is also tres chic. Boxers, for women? J’adore.

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Been dying to share CC Moulton’s Cache collection with you guys ever since it launched a few weeks ago - take your pick from the lipstick-slash-cigarette case, the card sleeve, or the jewellery case, all available in a variety of decadent fabrics (my favourites are the silk moiré).

I got this ‘Write Your Own Memoir’ journal for my dad last year, and I think it’s my favourite present I’ve ever gotten him (and yes, he loved it too) - there’s only so many socks/scarves/jumpers one man needs!! A DIY memoir journal containing over 75 thoughtful questions designed to tease out your life story, it’s a great gift idea for older relatives - and you can customise the cover with their photo. Order by 16 December for Christmas delivery.

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Zara Home has made the EXCELLENT decision to bring back these colourful aperitif forks (which I shared in last year’s end of year newsletter but they sold out in practically no time). Snooze ya lose!

I’ll be honest I think I’m just putting this J Crew satin pouch here because I want it myself ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Or how about an annual Tate Modern or V&A membership? The Marie Antoinette exhibition at the V&A alone is worth getting a membership for...

A traditional Japanese kenzan from design studio Naum House for ikebana-style flower arrangements (get one of their bowls too for the full flower arranging kit).

Art historian and broadcaster Katy Hessel’s new book How To Live An Artful Life is a calendar of daily quotes from noted artists and writers, each of which is aimed at bringing creativity into our everyday lives. Here’s a good interview with her on the thousands of hours of interviews she drew on to inform the book.

And finally, I’ve had my eye on these pretty little Zafferano glass tumblers for years now - you can get them in lots of places, but Am*zon’s currently the only seller with availability sooner than 3-4 weeks. Get a full set all in one colour or mix it up… the possibilities are endless!

Alright. That’s it for today - I’ll be back in your inboxes post-Christmas!

Until then,

Greetings Spendthrifts,

Those of you who’ve been here a while will already be familiar with my annual gift guide, but for the newbies: this month’s newsletter is an edited and updated version of the ‘evergreen gift list’ I’ve been sending out for the last two years. I’ve given it a bigger refresh this year, pruning a couple of suggestions from the 2023 & 2024 lists and adding in a few new discoveries. Where brands or makers have retained their place for the second or third year in a row, I’ve updated their entries with new items from their collection to mix things up a little.

I’ve also split it into two parts, for ease (although I’d still recommend you click ‘view in browser’ or read it in the Substack app, as it’s rather long!). Today’s issue focuses on brands where pretty much their entire offering is gift-appropriate, while Part II is more a collection of one-off ‘objets’.

Happy browsing!

AN EVERGREEN GIFT GUIDE

It is a truth universally acknowledged that the vast majority of Christmas gift guides published at this time of year have entirely lost the plot. Too many categories, far too many items, and often at wildly impractical prices (just the other day I saw one with a £4,000 handbag on it - how many of those are you giving out this Christmas?)

I’m convinced all people really want is a tight edit of a few interesting and somewhat original gift ideas that can work for a variety of people in their life - and I’ve always believed the key to buying good presents is to buy people slightly nicer versions of things they already like or have, but that they probably wouldn’t treat themselves to. Presents are supposed to be A Treat, remember?

And you want to make them feel good! Over the years I’ve realised that giving people interesting gifts makes the recipients themselves feel interesting. It’s been a genuine compliment when I’ve received some of the items below - they’ve made me feel chic, and erudite - and ultimately isn’t the point of giving presents about making people feel good?

All that to say that this is less of a ‘gift list’, and more a gifting-themed list. Most of the items on it would, yes, absolutely work as Christmas presents and stocking fillers, but they’re also just good presents you can give to your loved ones year round - a gift guide for life, not just for Christmas (sorry). These are gifts for saying thank you, or happy birthday, or simply to cheer someone up; gifts for when flowers-and-a-card feels too impersonal. Gifts they’ll actually use, appreciate, and buy again for themselves or others.

They’re things I love and can’t live without, many of which I originally received as gifts myself and have since gone on to buy for other people. I’ve included an interior design handbook a friend gave me that explains what looks good and why (and was indispensable to me when I was renovating my flat), and my favourite places to buy edible treats because gifts you can eat are among my favourite type to receive.

Almost all the items on it are permanent offerings from the brands that make them, so should still be available for years to come - I’m hoping this newsletter becomes something you can refer back to time and time again, when you’re stuck on what to buy for someone you love.

Brought to you by Add To Wishlist brand partner Missoma.

I’ve always thought Missoma is such a clever brand. Eighteen years in, the brand has really made a name for itself with its thoughtfully designed collection of demi-fine classics - they’ve absolutely nailed that sweet spot of fashion-forward pieces that are both high-quality and affordable.

Ahead of their upcoming Black Friday sale (starts today, runs until Tuesday 2nd December - up to 40% off everything on the site) I’ve teamed up with them to share a few of my favourite Missoma pieces with you - and give you some ideas on how to style them! There’s so much variety on their website, whether you’re looking for everyday classics or party-appropriate statement pieces, there’ll be something for you.

Take this gold bangle for example - for daytime I usually keep my jewellery super simple (I’m talking one, or max two, pieces of jewellery), and this was one of those occasions where the jewellery dictated the rest of the outfit... I felt like the bangle was just crying out for a simple backdrop so it could really shine, y’know?

And dare I say the white shirt/blue jeans/solid belt/bangle combo feels very Nantucket WASP, Carolyn Bessette Kennedy-coded? I felt like an old money New York heiress opening the door to the architect she’s just hired to “remodel” her Upper East Side duplex (word to the wise - fantasies are better the more specific they are).

I added the t-bar necklace from this set for balance because even though the bangle is the star of the show, the outfit still needs a necklace for symmetry IMO - and these tiny little huggies were the perfect ‘no earring’ earring to finish off the look.

Now for nighttime or party dressing, I tend to layer up. I love a necklace stack - it’s very confident, very London, very ‘oh these old things?’. Hanging on to the t-bar necklace from before, I also added the snake chain that comes as part of that set, as well as this engraveable birthstone pendant necklace. It’s all about balance when it comes to a necklace stack and these three pieces go so well together (I think the formula to aim for is two pendants and one chain - if you’re feeling funky maybe even consider mixing silver and gold?)

This shearling Joseph coat is my new pride and joy (bought for a fraction of the retail price via resale), and although you can’t really see it the dress is an old Saloni number that not one but TWO of my friends also own because of how ridiculously flattering it is - and unbelievably given I bought it 4+ years ago, there’s currently a couple available on The Outnet in a UK12…!

With up to 40% off sitewide until Tuesday 2nd December, now’s an ideal time to treat yourself (or someone else, I guess) to some gorgeous new jewellery... Happy shopping!

LES OTTOMANS

I love Les Ottomans as a destination for homeware gifts as it’s basically impossible to buy something boring there. My favourite offering of theirs are their hand-painted trays, of which they have a frankly staggering number - you'll find the most variety on their website, although there’s also great edits on MyTheresa, Selfridges, Artemest, and Maison Flâneur if you’re easily overwhelmed. I’ve picked out a few of my favourites below:

Gold coral lacquer; gold leaf herons; black florals and orange poppies - something for everyone!

39BC

Time was that bath products were considered a bit of a Christmas gift copout (did anyone actually ever use those crumbly Lush bath bombs and not immediately get cystitis?). No longer - bathing’s gone luxury (even Vogue agrees), and there’s no better evidence of that than 39BC, a new range of oil body cleansers created by (full disclosure: my friend) Sharmadean Reid.

Everything about 39BC, from the packaging to the scent, is pure indulgence - I’ve been using my Sage Water cleanser for pre-bedtime showers since I got it a few weeks ago, and it’s become such a pleasurable end-of-day ritual. Available in four scents - Silk Veil (tuberose + jasmine), Denarii (frankincense, patchouli + sandalwood), Fig Milk and Sage Water, I’ve already given one of these as a gift this year and plan to give many more.

SMYTHSON STATIONERY

Years ago, when I’d just gotten a job that I thought was going to be a real step up for me - I think it was when I was about to start working at VICE Media - I bought myself a Smythson pocket notebook. It felt like a very grown up thing to do (I was 24), and having this notebook felt like saying to the world I’d arrived - I even had it embossed with my initials in gold.

The job itself turned out to be a certified sh*tshow (lol) but I don’t blame the notebook. The notebook was great - in fact I still have it! 128 pages of that signature pale blue paper, bound in crossgrain lambskin leather (with personalisation only £17 extra), it’s a great little gift for the aspiring girlboss in your life.

Panama pocket notebooks in plain leather or (my personal fave) croc-embossed leather

Smythson’s correspondence card + envelope sets are also surprisingly reasonably priced. I was initially looking at getting a personalised set, but those unfortunately came up to £400+ (for a set of 50) once I’d added all my preferred customisation details. And then I thought - maybe I don’t want everyone I write to to know my address anyway?? Maybe I want to write a really elegant anonymous poison pen letter to someone! Anyway I bought an un-personalised set for a mere £26 and have been using them to send thank you notes ever since. I don’t have video footage of the recipients’ faces when they arrive but I can only imagine they open them and think ‘wow… that Otegha is one classy broad’.

Are they more expensive than a set from Papier?…Well yes, they’re from f*cking Smythson. But you’re better than Papier. You’re a Smythson girl. Buy and use sparingly for those you want to impress, or yes - as a gift.

x10 bordered correspondence cards with matching (tissue-lined!) envelopes, available in five different colourways - I went for navy.

GOHAR WORLD

Where does one begin in trying to explain Laila Gohar? The New Yorker noted her “exquisite taste” in a 5,000 word profile some years ago, and she also writes a monthly column on hosting for How To Spend It. I first came across her work well over a decade ago now, back when she was just a cool foodie New Yorker who seemed to host nice-looking supper clubs and did catering for events.

In a way, that is still basically the essence of what she does - catering for events - if you can describe creating increasingly ambitious food installations for everyone from Hermès to Dries Van Noten as ‘catering’. By applying her impeccable taste and idiosyncratic eye to the world of food, she’s elevated it to an art form - examples below.

She and her sister launched Gohar World a few years ago, a source of totally original tableware products, and reader: I love it. It’s the perfect mix of whimsical and practical (a silk bag for your baguette, anyone?), which in my books makes it a perfect destination for present shopping. Here are my top picks:

A tapered candle trimmed with a lace bow (how darling!).

These mother of pearl salad servers would genuinely encourage me to eat more salads.

A bird-shaped lemon slice squeezer (there’s a fish-shaped one too, or perhaps a swan?)

And how pretty are these mother of pearl swirl shell napkin rings!

WISH CARDS

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Greetings Spendthrifts,

Keeping this month’s newsletter short and sweet, although don’t worry - my updated Christmas gift list is going out next month and, as ever, it’ll be a bumper issue (here are the 2023 and 2024 versions if you’re already getting started on present shopping).

Quick recap of my Grazia column this month: I wrote about the late, great, “lady of the house” - Hyacinth Bouquet of Keeping Up Appearances - and what we can all stand to learn from her approach to life; as well as about why the recent Victoria’s Secret show brought me close to an existential crisis.

THE SHOPPIES

Currently lusting over these patent Mary Jane heels from Reformation (the tiger ponyskin version are equally tempting) - they remind me a lot of Manolo Blahnik’s iconic Campari style, which have been on my wishlist since forever.

As predicted, the H&M Studio bomber jacket I wrote about in last month’s newsletter has become an indispensable part of my autumn wardrobe, helping me bridge the gap until it’s time to break out my winter coats. Unfortunately it’s also now (long) sold out, but the Frankie Shop has a few bombers with a similar vibe - try this one or this one - and this Weekday bomber is also pretty good.

Vivienne Westwood’s pirate boots are on the cusp of a resurgence. I don’t know how I know this - call it a fashion sixth sense - but I woke up the other day suddenly desperate for a pair. The brand does still make them in tan leather and black leather, but for some reason I’m fixated on getting the beige suede ones that were popular with the likes of Sienna Miller and Kate Moss back in the Noughties (and which for now are only available via resale). My eBay, Vestiaire and Vinted alerts have been created - and now, I wait.

Speaking of resale, Curate & Rotate is one of my favourite fashion resale platforms, mainly because they’re super selective about what they actually allow onto the website, but also because their edit so strongly aligns with my own taste (and the prices are really good!). They’ve got some great pieces in at the moment, including this plaid Isabel Marant Etoile coat:

This suede fringe Kooples jacket:

And this plum coloured Tibi bubble skirt, which I think would go really well with a chocolate brown jumper or leather jacket. Yum.

(There’s also a secret fourth thing I have my eye on that I haven’t included here because I’m still weighing up whether or not to treat myself to it and don’t want to risk one of you beating me to it. Soz!)

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And now onto the topic I’m sure you’re all dying to get my take on… what did I think of Lily Allen’s new album?

LILY ALLEN’S BIG LETDOWN

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Greetings Spendthrifts,

Those of you who follow me on Instagram probably already know this but for everyone else, I am SO pleased to announce that (as of a couple of weeks ago) - I am Grazia’s new columnist! My new column Culture Debrief will be a smorgasbord of cultural commentary, covering everything from books and TV to politics and the latest insane celebrity lawsuits (rest assured I will be reporting on the Lively v Baldoni trial come 2026). You can read it in every issue of Grazia from here on out, and usually online too - here’s the first one, on the resurgence of girlboss culture.

Now usually the done thing when you have an announcement in my industry is to apologetically sort of cough it out while downplaying how much it actually means to you (millennial culture = tweeting ‘I did a thing’ and then linking to a seven-figure book deal announcement. Spare me). So allow me to be very fucking earnest here: I’ve wanted a column - a proper column, where I’m given leeway to hold forth on the things I find interesting and am actually asked for an opinion (rather than given someone else’s and asked to write 600 words on it); one that’s printed in a newspaper or magazine your parents have actually heard of - for years. To have landed one at one of my favourite glossies, not to mention a magazine I’ve been reading since I was a teenager, is honestly a dream gig.

And to be frank, it feels especially gratifying given that across the British media landscape, there are so few columnists at established publications who look like me - that is Black, and female. I can think of maybe three Black women off the top of my head who have regular, ongoing columns (Nesrine Malik for the Guardian, Enuma Okoro for the FT Weekend and, newly, Liv Little for the Observer if you’re curious). The ‘columnist class’ in the UK is overwhelmingly, almost breathtakingly white - and very often to attain a column as a woman (irrespective of your race), one has to be willing to divulge staggeringly intimate details from your personal life, something that culturally, many Black (and brown) women simply aren’t in a position to do… I often wonder if editors even think about who they’re unintentionally excluding when they dish out those sorts of assignments. Or, you get assigned ‘the race beat’, given that as a Black person race and identity are the only things you’re considered an authority on.

All of which to say, I had very much assumed that A Column wasn’t in my destiny, so I find myself rather pleasantly surprised by this development - and given how many of you said you wanted more writing from me in my subscriber survey last Christmas, hopefully you will be too! On that note - I’ll endeavour to share links from the past month of columns in this newsletter, but if you want my hot takes while they’re still piping hot, best to pick up an issue of Grazia (which comes out every other week) or follow me on Instagram.

Behind the paywall this month: some new shoe brands I’m very excited by; a Scandi brand that feels like a Khaite/The Row hybrid (but far cheaper); five great interiors buys, from affordable pick-me-ups to massive splurges; the art world satire I galloped through on my recent holiday (and the Women’s Prize-winning novel I took to calling ‘my boring book’ and abandoned halfway through).

First up though - let’s take a spin through H&M Studio’s excellent AW25 drop, shall we?

H&M’s Studio line is one of my favourite high street collections, one I’ve been buying from for many, many years. For the unfamiliar - this is H&M’s more directional, fashion-forward collection (references for the AW25 drop include Brutalist design), released in limited drops every season.

The latest Studio collection is full of pin-sharp tailoring and classic wardrobe staples that’ve been sprinkled with a little je ne sais quoi - this oversized blue shirt for example, which has been tailored to make it extra slouchy at the back (très chic), or a wool midi skirt finished with raw seams at the waist. The kind of pieces that are as good for running around the city in during the day as they are for dressing up at night - I plan to wear that midi skirt with a slinky bodysuit expeditiously.

Share Add To Wishlist by Otegha Uwagba

I am also OBSESSED with this slouchy burgundy leather bag, possibly the standout piece from the collection for me. Now it does actually have straps, so you can carry it like a regular tote - but I loved how it looked when I tucked it under my arm, so that’s how I’m styling it here.

And I’m pretty sure this bomber jacket is going to be surgically attached to my body all autumn, not least because it’s padded (ergo - surprisingly warm), waterproof (as I discovered when it started drizzling as I was walking home), and because it strikes juuust the right balance between oversized and cropped. I’d actually been on the hunt for an autumn-appropriate bomber jacket and found most of them went too far one way or the other, so very pleased to now have this one in my arsenal.

A word of warning: H&M’s Studio collection tends to sell out incredibly fast (I’ve actually had to resort to eBay to get my hands on sold out pieces on multiple occasions), so if something catches your eye I’d advise you to move quickly! (Also - I’m finding that their in-store availability is still good for a few pieces that have already sold out online, so use the ‘check availability’ function where necessary).

Thank you so much to H&M Studio for sponsoring this month’s newsletter!

A WOMAN’S RIGHT TO CHOOS

Shoes are my kryptonite. Call it Carrie Bradshaw Syndrome, the curse afflicting every millennial-aged woman forged in the fires of Pat Field’s sartorial whims - but an incredible pair of shoes just does something to my brain. They’re the item most likely to evoke unfettered envy; the discovery of an especially breathtaking pair enough to make my fingers tremble and heart beat a little faster as I send a link to friends saying simply ‘thoughts?’ (knowing full well I’ve already made up my mind).

And yet I don’t think I’ve been properly excited by a new shoe brand for... well quite a while now, come to think of it! Everything’s just felt a bit samey - but that’s all changed with the discovery of two recently launched shoe brands, one of which is helmed by a footwear designer whose priors include The Row, Khaite and Tory Burch.

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After a slow start to August on the fashion/pop culture news front, it’s all kicked off in the last week and I (once again) have way too much to cover in a single newsletter. Here’s a quick run-through of the news stories on my mind right now: the fashion industry’s collective jaws dropped at the news that Net A Porter founder Natalie Massenet is suing her ex-partner Erik Torstensson (co-founder of denim brand Frame), alleging fraud, intentional deceit and basically just being a wrong ‘un. The details are eye-popping - here’s the Daily Mail (sorry) article that first broke the news, and an update on the unfolding scandal from Puck’s Lauren Sherman. Elsewhere, the girlies are flogging Cutting Room Floor podcaster Recho Omondi for offering poverty wages - I first learned about this c/o this Substack from , though it’s since become a more widely reported story. Topshop has re-launched and is deeply underwhelming (although I still combed through all 800+ pieces to find five things I’d happily buy and wear - that’s below the paywall). I tried to watch season 2 of With Love, Meghan and couldn’t, although this Vogue article pretty much sums up how I feel about it all.

That said, I did have a New York-based friend ferry over some of Meghan’s As Ever product range for me recently, mostly out of sheer curiosity. My verdict? A pancake mix is a pancake mix, and the packaging should’ve been a bit more luxurious. Cardi B is in court (again) and the footage emerging from the trial is a very effective reminder of why she was such a watchable reality TV star in the first place.

And look, I know everyone’s harping on about autumn fashion already but I’m simply NOT IN THE MOOD to talk about that yet, so this month’s newsletter is mainly focused on interiors – specifically, a rundown of every single thing I’ve bought for my flat so far this year and where I got it from, a list that includes the only ready-made curtains I’ve ever been truly convinced by, a few high street bargains, and several of my favourite vintage furniture suppliers (and not just the Instagram-popular ones you’re already following).

Most of my homemaking efforts this summer have been dedicated to – very successfully! – pimping out my balcony (pictured below) so I’ve also shared a bit about that process too, for those of you trying to make the most out of a balcony or small garden.

Plus: there are some excellent documentaries knocking about at the moment. I’m not really a true crime girlie but I do enjoy a true grifter story, and this trio of docs had me HOOKED from start to finish.

Before we get into all of that though – I watched the Bonnie Blue documentary so you don’t have to. Keep reading to hear my thoughts.

This month’s newsletter is sponsored by SURI.

Every time I go to the dentist, they ask me whether I use an electric toothbrush, I say “no”, they ask why not, I shrug my shoulders in a manner intended to convey they’re too noisy, they’re a hassle to keep charged, they’re sort of ugly etc etc, and we repeat the whole process roughly 6-12 months later. No longer! Because I recently started using a SURI toothbrush, and guys.. my manual toothbrush days are firmly behind me.

For starters the design is super minimal and clean, so it actually looks good in my bathroom (plus it comes with a magnetic mirror-mount to reduce the dreaded sink clutter - as you can see, I put mine on my wall but you do you). The 40+ day battery life is also a godsend and… I’ve noticed a real difference in how clean my teeth feel after brushing! SURI’s brush heads are also plant-based and recyclable (which SURI does for free), and there’s a rather fetching UV sterilising travel case you can get too that kills up to 99.9% of bacteria.

If you fancy upgrading your dental hygiene routine, you can enjoy 20% off your SURI order with the discount code ATW (you’re welcome).

THE BONNIE BLUE OF IT ALL

By now I imagine you are well aware of exactly who Bonnie Blue is, and what (and I suppose who) she does for a living. I phrase that as directive – “you are aware” – because… well, you are, aren’t you?

If you haven’t yet watched the recent Channel 4 documentary 1000 Men And Me – which follows the notorious OnlyFans creator in the months leading up to her much-publicised attempt to sleep with 1,000 men in a single day – allow me to save you the trouble. I have watched it, and I sort of wish I hadn’t.

It’s a deeply frustrating watch, one that reveals little that hasn’t already been covered by the many, many articles written about Blue. It left me with far more questions than answers, and I came away from it with the sense it had been made almost entirely with the intention of generating as many views and headlines as possible, rather than actually providing a meaningful (let alone journalistic) insight into the dynamics at play within the Bonnie Blue ecosystem. Louis Theroux, this is not.

1,000 Men And Me is both surface level – failing to rigorously challenge Blue as she repeatedly trots out a few poorly argued choice-feminism soundbites about being ‘empowered’ by her OnlyFans stunts; and salacious, in that it contains a frankly astounding amount of explicit pornography, which – call me naïve! – I really wasn’t expecting (and which ultimately adds little besides the requisite shock value). I’m no pearl-clutching prude but I found it genuinely surprising that the show was broadcast on what is a publicly owned, ‘public service’ channel.

Fairly early on, Blue’s rationale for the stunts that have made her infamous is laid out: she wants to make a lot of money, has hit on a way of doing that, and unlike 99.99% of other women, doesn’t mind doing it – in fact she actively enjoys it. Fine, I guess? As her male “creative director” Josh, a lacklustre man who apparently used to work with children in the care system (concerning) states early on with the same deludedly confident affect of an Apprentice contestant, Bonnie Blue is a businesswoman.

But even once I’d accepted that premise – that Bonnie Blue (real name Tia Billinger) just absolutely loves having sex with members of the public, and that there is no underlying trauma driving her actions – the questions remained. No, actually - they proliferated.

Why, I wondered, did the filmmakers not touch on her fertility struggles, an experience Blue/Billinger has previously described in an interview as “the most lonely experience” (thank you for making me aware of this)? Or about her future life plans – does she still want to have kids? Does she think she’ll get married again in the future? How does she imagine her notoriety might impact her dating prospects? Or the lives of her (hypothetical) future children? Why HAVE she and her husband separated, given that he was apparently ‘supportive’ of her OnlyFans career? How old was she when they met? And got married (she’s still only 26!)? Does she have any friends who aren’t in some way involved with her OnlyFans work? Could we hear from them? Why, when towards the end of the documentary Bonnie travels to Romania to link up with Andrew Tate did the documentary maker feebly announce “I wasn’t sticking around for that” - as though that were a mere addendum to Blue’s exploits and not something that viewers might actually be very interested in (I certainly was)? The answers to any, or all, of these questions might have provided a fuller picture of Blue’s psychology beyond simply I’m Bonnie Blue, and I just LOVE sex, a pronouncement that gets increasingly wearing as the documentary rolls on.

But worst of all - and what I consider the most egregious omission from this hour-long documentary - there is virtually zero interrogation of any of the men who turn up to partake in Blue’s stunts.

If Blue is to be believed (itself a good question - how many of her claims have been properly factchecked?), one thousand men turned up to that event alone. 1,057 actually. That, to me, is a far bigger story, one that given the title of the documentary I’d gone in expecting to be given plenty of airtime. There is after all, only ONE Bonnie Blue – but over ONE THOUSAND MEN attended that event alone, and many more have participated in Bonnie’s content elsewhere. What is driving them?

And though most of the men filmed for the documentary wear balaclavas to disguise their identities, the thing that lingered with me in the days and weeks after watching it, is that several of the men did not. Having been offered a means of hiding their identities, and knowing full well that the resulting footage would be shown not just on Bonnie’s thriving (but admittedly paywalled) OnlyFans account but also potentially broadcast to the entire nation on Channel 4, several of these men chose not to. A few of them even posed for selfies!

That they weren’t ashamed to have their actions potentially become public knowledge – queuing up alongside 999 other men to have sex with a total stranger – and perhaps didn’t even see anything wrong with or weird about what they’re doing… well, I found that incredibly disturbing, and it made me wonder what kind of people these men are, and what kind of jobs they do, what women they have in their lives, if any. Do they have wives? A girlfriend? Sisters? Daughters? Colleagues?

Perhaps naively, that was what I found most shocking about the whole documentary – more so than all the sex and how graphic it was; more so than the oddly detached way Blue regards her own body, treating it as a tool to be abused in service of clicks and cash (it’s sort of like Severance except Bonnie Blue’s Innie has somehow escaped and is running the show 24/7). It was the men.

Where were the interviews with these men? We’re shown interviews with Bonnie’s mum (who FYI, has quit her job and is now on Bonnie’s payroll as her PA - discuss), her bird-brained publicist, the aforementioned “creative director” (giving credence to the idea that a lot of people have gotten waaay too comfortable giving themselves the title of ‘creative director’). But not a single interview with any of the men who actually turned up to – pardon my language – fuck her.

Oh, we get a sense of these men, certainly, thanks to shots of them excitedly thumbs up-ing the camera, or grunting out their excitement as they shuffle in for their turn with Bonnie, naked save for a pair of boxers and socks (a visual that might have been comic were it not so tragically seedy).

It’s the sort of oversight one might call a missed opportunity if you were feeling generous, and lazy, sensationalist journalism if you weren’t (I’m not). I simply couldn’t wrap my head around the psychology of it, a fact I was discussing with a friend who (God BLESS her) alerted me to the fact there actually are a few interviews with these men kicking about online, and after watching them - finally - it all made sense.

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I am great at giving advice, if I say so myself. Taking it? That’s another matter entirely - do as I say, not as I do, as the saying goes - but when it comes to telling other people what to do, I excel.

And as my birthday happens to be coming up soon (I’m accepting Net A Porter credit donations if you feel so inclined), and birthdays are a time when I tend to take stock a little, it occurred to me that it might be fun to share some things I’ve learned over the years in this month’s newsletter - a sort of reverse birthday gift from me to you (seriously it doesn’t even have to be that much credit, whatever you can manage is fine).

Now my initial plan was to offer a life lesson for every year of my life so far - but that’s 30-plus nuggets of wisdom and frankly, I’m wise but not that wise. So I’ve settled on ten all killer, no filler life lessons I’ve picked up over the years, most of which I’m afraid to say, are of the tough love variety. Substack also informs me this newsletter is clocking in at a whopping 5,000 words i.e. my longest ever newsletter, so perhaps it’s best I kept it to just ten, eh?

Keep on scrolling for my thoughts on the perils of bitching about your friends (besides the obvious), who you ought to trust with your career, and how to complain properly. Oh and some medical advice! Because if there’s one thing writers are qualified to dispense, it’s medical advice.

Also coming up in this month’s issue (behind the paywall):

• A few high summer purchases I’m eyeing up for my summer vacay

• A tight edit of summer sale finds (only the best stuff)

• A Tracee Ellis Ross-inspired styling trick that I am OBSESSED with (and which only costs a fiver to recreate)

And finally, I’m interviewing author Tony Tulathimutte about his award-winning and widely lauded novel Rejection at Bard Books on August 20th. Paid subscribers will recall my 5-star review of his provocative, highly entertaining and ferociously Online book from February’s newsletter (here’s the Guardian’s take on it for the rest of you cheapskates*) so I’m properly thrilled to have a chance to grill him about it in person. There’s only a handful of tickets left though, so move fast if you want in.

* Might start referring to paid newsletter subscribers as Spendthrifts and free subscribers as Cheapskates… Just kidding!! Or am I... No I AM kidding, I love you all equally (but I love my paid subscribers a tiny bit more).

I wrote about my love of the AmiGo app in my April newsletter, the endlessly useful travel app that’s quickly become my go-to for trusted travel reccs and insider tips… think of it as like Instagram, if Instagram were designed solely for finding (and sharing) travel recommendations.

Right now it’s invite-only (although you can skip the waitlist with my code OTEGHA), which means you get curated, discerning personal recommendations from people you already know have great taste, instead of, like, randos on TripAdvisor. Lots of my favourite Instagram follows and Substackers have profiles on the app, including the endlessly globe-trotting designer Maryam Nassir Zadeh, New York based stylist Beverly Nguyen, and London-based food artist Imogen Kwok.

I’ve been adding to my profile all summer long, and recently updated it with a bumper crop of reccs from recent travels, including some top-notch Parisian vintage shopping; a few must-visit Cap Ferret restaurants (including a place that served me the best plate of mussels I have EVER had in my life); and lots of London spots new and old - including a few recent discoveries that have given me a modicum of hope for the future of London’s nightlife.

It’s also proven indispensable for planning my own upcoming summer vacay - I’m using it to research everything from where to stay and what to eat to which beaches are furthest from the madding crowd (I’m headed to Formentera for the first time!), all of which I’ve saved in AmiGo’s Trip Planner, rather than risk losing them to the chaos of my Notes app. Download AmiGo here, and prepare to be as obsessed with it as I am!!

OTEGHA’S TOP 10 LIFE LESSONS*

*Disclaimer: author cannot be held responsible for any adverse effects that may arise from application of the lessons herein.

1. Ask for favours, but not too many. You risk becoming a pest. I mean this mainly in a professional context - if someone grants you a favour or is helpful to you in some way, don’t then take that as your cue to bombard them with requests. I have definitely done this myself in the past, but it’s a little rude, a little annoying, and unless someone explicitly keeps the door open for that sort of thing, be mindful of how much or how frequently you ask of a specific individual (especially if you’re not able to reciprocate somehow). Spread it out a little, y’know?

2. Once you hit your (mid) thirties, you can either eat what you want or look how you want. You cannot have both. I am still adjusting to this new reality.

3. You don’t have to make a best friend out of everyone. I feel like right from adolescence, women (or at least the women I know - myself included) have a tendency to dive headfirst into these super intense friendships with other women. I remember my mum used to caution me against this as a teenager, and I would get so annoyed - “you don’t understandddah!!” I would whine as I rushed upstairs to begin rolling calls to the various girls I’d literally just spent all day at school with. And honestly, I think that sort of thing is fine when you’re a teenager, good actually! At any rate, it’s certainly the norm. And that kind of intensity is one of the most special aspects of female friendship that - excuse the gender essentialism - I think most men never get to experience! But the older I get, the more I think of that line from Romeo and Juliet: “These violent delights have violent ends…” whenever a friend starts nonstop yapping to me about a brand new gal pal they’re spending all their time with, which YES I’m aware sounds a little dramatique, and NO I promise, is not borne out of jealousy. Time and time again when I read, hear about or (ugh) experience friendship breakups, often a common thread between said ruptures seems to be that they simply moved way too fast. One or both parties engaged in platonic lovebombing (because once you’re out of your early twenties it’s so thrilling - and so much rarer! - to find someone you just click with). And it’s easy to assume that because of say, a shared sense of humour or interest in the same niche bit of culture, or the fact that you and your new pal reliably have the same opinion on this or that bit of The Discourse, that you’re also aligned on a bunch of more fundamental things, or that you know each other far better than (as it turns out) you actually do. But realistically, I think those sorts of learnings can only really unfold over time - a period of years, not months. So I’m here to tell you: it’s absolutely fine to really get along with someone and not immediately convert them into your marathon-phone-call-spend-every-weekend-together-share-your-deepest-trauma-over-cocktails BFF. I’m not saying you shouldn’t be open to forming new friendships (never that!) - just that it’s also fine to take a bit longer to get to know someone and to exercise a bit of restraint, even when the giddy feeling of an all-consuming new friendcrush is sweeping over you. Let friendships deepen over time. Doucement, as the French say.

4. If you bill yourself cheaply, people will treat you cheaply. Let me tell you the story of how I learned this one:

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Greetings Spendthrifts,

I’m writing this in the midst of the first proper heatwave of the year - long may it continue. I’ve opened all the windows in my flat to create a draught, and installed myself in the coolest room. SUMMER IS FINALLY HERE. Which immediately gives rise to the difficulty of dressing for the heat. I find that when temperatures surpass 20C or so, staying cool and looking cool start to feel like diametrically opposed goals (nevertheless, she persisted etc. etc).

Coming up in this month’s issue:

• Three excellent summer reads, including a fever dream of a novel that’s a mixture of The Crucible and The Virgin Suicides (and picking up critical acclaim left, right and centre - The Times has called it “an extraordinary debut”).

• The vintage shoe brand that’s part Carrie Bradshaw, part Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy - and selling for £20 a pop on eBay.

• A TV adaptation of one of the most memorable novels I’ve read in recent years.

But first - let’s get into the Banana Republic of it all. I’ve written before about the difficulty of dressing for summer in the city—

—so honestly, thank God for Banana Republic. When they asked me to style a few pieces for this newsletter, I first went to check out their offering - and suddenly I understood exactly how Augustus Gloop might’ve felt upon arrival at Willy Wonka’s factory. Greedy. Their summer range is full of classic pieces that have subtle points of interest, while still remaining versatile enough to act as a backdrop for punchier accessories. And the best bit? It’s all super affordable.

Take for example this dress* (also available in white). I was immediately taken with its bubble hem silhouette, even though it veers a lot more ‘girly’ than my usual vibe - I think the slight drop-waist and long length stop it being too twee? And despite the fact the skirt is properly lined (the quality! Incredible!), it was somehow still light enough for me to comfortably traipse around Paris in 30C heat a few weeks ago, which is where all these photos were taken.

*A note to UK readers - you’ll find the primary links here direct to Banana Republic’s US site - I’ve shared UK product links as much as possible (which is most but not quite all items - not all stock is available in every region, although thankfully that delectable bubble hem dress very much IS available in the UK!!)

In fact I liked this silhouette so much I also got the skirt version:

See? Greedy. This one’s not available in the UK unfortunately, but if you style the dress as a skirt, who’s gonna know?? Probably not even me.

This is the tank top I’m wearing above (and this is a good UK alt, as is this), all of which allow you to do my favourite and soon to be overused styling trick of knotting t-shirts and vests at the side, like so:

And speaking of tops! As a constant wearer-of-jeans, I find the hardest slot to fill in my wardrobe by far is that of Good Tops that aren’t necessarily button-up shirts or t-shirts or vest tops, which honestly rules out, like, most things.

And yet Banana Republic has an abundance of Good Tops. An embarrassment of them even. Like this perfectly soft cashmere one-shoulder top (here’s a near identical UK alt). And this linen drapey wonder (US only).

The striped cropped top (here’s the UK link) I’m wearing here is actually more of a knit, though still light enough for warm weather - temps were in the low 20s in the photo above. And, I suspect these jeans (US only) may have tempted me back to high waisted jeans after a prolonged affair with their low-rise brethren.

Shop Banana Republic UK and Banana Republic US.

THE SHOPPIES

As a result of me waxing lyrical about my Le Monde Beryl Luna slippers last month, The Strategist (New York Magazine’s dedicated shopping vertical) asked me to recommend a few similar styles for their readers - I’d have included these very smart Arket flats too if I’d come across them before filing copy.

This oversized Weekday orange tie dye t-shirt could very easily be Proenza Schouler (if you added another zero to the price) - I’m sold.

Have I previously gone on the record as a Gingham Denier? Yes. Would I make an exception for this Arket mini dress? Also yes - the colour combo and cut lift it out of potentially twee territory.

And this Arket top is a (much more affordable) ringer for TOVE’s cult Thea top. It is - quite understandably - selling fast, so get it while it’s hot!

Now, has anyone bought anything from swimwear brand Triangl? Curious minds would like to know. I’m constantly being served Instagram ads for them - and their pieces are very cute - but otherwise know very little about the brand. I think this enticingly tropical Nemone check print might be what finally inspires me to give them a try though..

Walking around Liberty’s the other day, I happened to try on these Prada Runway sunglasses - mainly for a bit of a laugh because they look so out there. But then I put them on and… they actually looked very cool, and surprisingly wearable? Proof that a) one should never question Miuccia, and b) you can’t really beat IRL shopping for random discovery, as I’d never have clicked on them online. The Tory Burch sunglasses I shared further up are a slightly more affordable take on the shield sunglasses trend, while these on sale Ray-Bans get you there for under £100.

And finally, I feel like I’ve been seeing British designer Talia Byre’s pieces everywhere these last few months - I’ve certainly been meaning to include her in this newsletter for a while now. A CSM-educated designer who debuted her first collection in 2023, I feel like the British fashion scene hasn’t had a new mid-range (i.e. £200 - £400) designer making interestingly constructed (but still wearable) clothes enter the playing field for a while, so I’m excited to see how the brand develops. I’ve already spotted the striped Bambino dress crop up in a few editorials this summer, and I love the originality and sense of fun underpinning the choice to issue this Dalmatian print scarf in mint green. I’ve also got my eye on this polka dot knit corset dress as well as these khaki trousers (the latter are currently out of stock in most sizes, but I’ve been assured they will restock at some point in the future).

A VINTAGE-SHAPED RABBIT HOLE

Ah, vintage shopping. To me, nothing encapsulates the thrill of the (shopping) hunt more so than rifling through the rails of a vintage shop.

As a teenager I spent entire Sundays doing exactly that, in and around the vintage shops of Brick Lane - back when Alexa Chung used to give interviews about picking up the perfect pea coat there for £12, prompting thousands of teenage girls with limited funds and outsized hopes to descend upon their nearest branch of Rokit hoping for a similar miracle. I even had an established route, one I was somehow convinced gave me a competitive advantage over my fellow bounty hunters - upon emerging at Liverpool St tube station, I would start at Absolute Vintage, sometimes ducking my head into Blondie (their more upmarket, expensive, sister shop) if I was feeling brave, before working my way through various smaller shops, making sure to hit up the Rokits (yes, both of them) as I went, and finishing up at the giant Beyond Retro on Cheshire Street.

If I wasn’t too tired on my way back - or if my earlier stops had proved disappointing - I’d deign to bless a few of the ‘lesser’ vintage stores at the top of Cheshire Street with my presence as I made my way back to the tube station. To this day, whenever I’m passing through Brick Lane, the nostalgia of those hopeful teenage trawls comes flooding back.

These day I rarely have the energy or patience to do that IRL - but where human spirit fails, the Internet always prevails. I recently fell down an eBay rabbit hole in the shape of a now-defunct shoe brand from the late 90s/early 00s, Timothy Hitsman.

Searching the brand on eBay and Etsy turns up all manner of riches - though not every pair is to my taste… but that’s sort of the point! The experience of combing through listings recreates the slightly addicting feeling of swiping through rail after vintage rail, weighing up, dismissing, doubling back until— aha. Honestly half the fun is looking. I have not seen the same shoe twice.

The vibe is VERY Nineties - slightly kooky (in the Carrie Bradshaw sense, as opposed to, like, Irregular Choice) and pointy mules and kitten heels abound. Still, because it’s not in any way a ‘trending’ brand (either now or I suspect, then), they rarely cost more than £20. Think of it as a vintage shoe lucky dip!

I’m eyeing up these (that is if I can get over the psychological hurdle of paying more for shipping than for the shoes themselves, which are only £22). And if these fabulously tacky but also sort of great PVC frilled mules were in my size I’d have bought them already - alas they’re a UK4.

I sent some of these listings to a friend, who responded by directing me to a different vintage shoe brand search term: Emma Hope shoes. Although this brand is actually still in existence, older models abound on eBay, Vinted et al - and they’re sort of like if the two Caroli/yn(e)s (that’s Bradshaw and Bessette-Kennedy, obv) had co-designed a shoe collection. Or the kind of shoes I can imagine the mum from The Parent Trap wearing. These blue kitten heel mules in particular are a bit o’ me.

And speaking of vintage, someone do me a favour and buy this animal print chair? I have nowhere in my own flat to put it but I still want it to go to a good home 🥹

CULTURE ROUNDUP

BOOKS

The Hounding by Xenobe Purvis

‘Haunting’ ‘beguiling’ ‘unforgettable’… just a few words that have been used to describe this absolute firecracker of a debut novel, which sits somewhere between The Virgin Suicides and The Crucible. Set in a prototypical English village during the 1700s - the infamous witch trials still a recent memory - The Hounding is the tale of the five Mansfield sisters, said by their fellow villagers to be haughty, liars, and just downright strange. One hot, febrile summer, a rumour begins to circulate that the girls have the ability to transform into dogs, a rumour that quickly spreads through the village like wildfire - with terrible consequences.

I was lucky enough to read this in proof form several months ago (perks of being friends with the author!), so I can say from first hand experience that it’s one of those stories that really lingers. And critics’ reviews have been equally effusive - The Times have called it “an extraordinary debut . . . clever, strange and beautifully written”, while the FT described it as “a taut, tense tale, impeccably told”.

Vladimir by Julia May Jonas

I’m only halfway through this but it’s so good I already feel confident recommending it (I’m also very late to the game on this one - it was published in 2022 and got a huge amount of hype at the time). Told in the wake of sexual misconduct allegations against a male academic, the novel is actually narrated by said academic’s wife - also an academic, and teaching at the same college - and charts her slippery descent into an all-consuming obsession with a younger colleague (the Vladimir of the novel’s title).

An insightful and often surprising meditation on power, consent, sexual politics, and generational divides, what’s impressed me most (so far) is how Jones has resisted the pat narratives around how a ‘wronged woman’ should feel or act, as evidenced by the little snapshot above. No surprise to hear plans are underway for a TV adaptation by none other than Sharon Horgan.

Bring The House Down by Charlotte Runcie

Theatre critic Alex Lyons made his name from his brutal, brilliant reviews. So when he sees Hayley Sinclair’s dismal one-woman show at the Edinburgh Fringe, he thinks nothing of dashing off another of his trademark one-star pans for the newspaper. He also thinks nothing of taking her home after the performance, failing at any point to mention who he is. What he doesn’t expect is for Hayley to revamp her show into a review of Alex's entire life, exposing what an awful person he really is. Worse, the show is a smash hit, and Alex is about to become national news.

No photo because - unusually for me - I actually listened to this one on audiobook (and what a flipping treat that was! The narrator was fantastic). And the novel itself is equally fantastic - genuinely funny (I loled several times as I listened), complex, and a nuanced examination of the myriad ways in which men can cause harm even when they stop short of being outright ‘predators’.

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TV

I’ve been hyped for the BBC adaption of What It Feels Like For A Girl - Paris Lees’ semi-autobiographical novel - ever since it was announced a couple of years ago. The book remains one of the most compelling and unpredictable novels I’ve read in recent years, and her episode from my old podcast In Good Company was one of my all-time favourite interviews - sharp, funny, moving and eye-opening. I’ll read or watch anything Paris has written.

Reviews so far have been impeccable, and I’m looking forward to getting stuck into it ASAP.

Out now on BBC iPlayer

ARTICLES

The Chinese Adoptees Who Were Stolen (New Yorker)

Should I Be More Of A Team Player? (Financial Times)

How A Hazelnut Spread Became A Sticking Point In Franco-Algerian Relations (New Yorker)

How One Woman Lost $75,000 To An MLM (The Cut)

How To Know If You’re Falling For An Interiors Trend (House & Garden)

Alright - that’s it for this month.

Until next time,

Let me cut straight to the chase. Last month I bought these AW22 silver bow Loewe heels in mint condition, for less than HALF their original price, and I have been high off it ever since.

These shoes have been my white whale for years now - I put them in my basket during the Net-A-Porter sale a few years ago, only for someone else to buy them as I was literally typing in my credit card details. They were the shoes that got away, and as well as having alerts set up on all the major resale sites, I’d also periodically scour the Internet for them just in case, and the last time I did... bingo.

I found them tucked away on a resale website I’d never even heard of before.

And so to this month’s theme, a run through of two excellent and under the radar luxury resale platforms I’ve recently discovered and bought from - one of which I was so impressed by that I reached out to their team and secured an exclusive 20% discount code for paid Add To Wishlist subscribers ;)

But first, a whistlestop tour of things I’ve added to my wardrobe since the last time I emailed:

• About a month ago, someone DMed me on Instagram to ask for my recommendations on good summer flats that aren’t sandals, a dilemma I often run into myself - you don’t always wanna have your toes out, you know? (Especially if, like me, your feet have been rated a frankly defamatory 2.86 on celebrity foot fetish appreciator website WikiFeet). Anyway - I’m pleased to report I’ve found the perfect summer flat in Le Monde Beryl’s Luna slipper, which I’ve been wearing non-stop since getting a pair a few weeks ago. They’re made of super soft leather and unbelievably comfortable and light - the kind of shoes that arrive feeling like someone else has already done the hard work of breaking them in for you. I went for brown leather but they’ve got an array of colours available (and textures - suede, mesh, and metallics). I plan to add more to my collection in different colourways as soon as funds allow.

• Some alternatives I like in the same vein include this Morjas pair, and this slightly dressier Toteme suede eyelet pair. Key to the success of all these shoes is the fact they have a deep vamp which a) make your feet look super slender and dainty (which for us wide-footed girlies is a godsend) and b) means more of your foot is on show, which is key to locating them firmly in summer flat territory.

• I shared some thoughts on summer etiquette in this week’s Sunday Times Style, alongside the likes of Nicky ‘Things I Find Common’ Haslam, Graydon Carter, Dolly Alderton and plenty of other people with good takes and good taste. (I will die on the hill that espadrille wedges aren’t naff - indeed, these are my make and model of choice).

• I’ve been getting my JLo on with these Tory Burch wraparound sunnies - they’re very Love Don’t Cost A Thing-coded, no? (Also available in yellow and blue if you’re reading this from the US).

• I’m slightly amazed by how much I’ve worn this caramel suede Mansur Gavriel bag since I got it last month. I thought it would be purely an evening bag - on account of that fabulous gold handle - but I’ve actually found it a great daytime option when going to meet friends for a quick coffee or lunch too. I just hold it as an underarm bag/clutch, tucking the gold handle in so it’s more daytime appropriate. We love a versatile queen!

• How many of us have searched in vain over the years for the perfect replica of this iconic Carrie Bradshaw dress?

  

  Well, I’ve finally found it, and it’s made by Norma Kamali (which also feels like a brand that Carrie herself would wear).

• This is the perfect vest top for summer. Fit and cut are perfect, and it doesn’t lose its shape after a few washes - my white one is still going strong two summers on. FYI: the material is very much on the sheer side, which you may or may not be into (I am).

• And for a dressier alternative for summer evenings, this one shouldered vest top courtesy of French label Soeur’s recent capsule collection with influencer Sophia Roe, is the vest top my wardrobe has been missing.

• Very much enjoyed Phoebe Philo’s guest edit of How To Spend It a few weeks ago, particularly her expert roundup of 19 items to help you take better care of your clothes. I’m big on mending and repairing stuff I own, and have already ordered the £3.30 scratch remover recommended.

• Letter of recommendation: Cap Ferret, a coastal town in the southwest of France, about an hour’s drive from Bordeaux. I recently enjoyed a long weekend there with friends hosted by Le Collectionist, and it was sublime. Known as the oyster capital of France, it’s very much an ‘in the know’ getaway destination for chic Parisians (many of whom prefer it to the blingier Côte d'Azur I’m told), and definitely one to bear in mind for your summer hols this year.

• Speaking of French chic, I had dinner at Café François in Borough for the first time last week and holy forking shirtballs. Between the anchovies on brioche starter (sublime), the best moules frites I’ve had in years, and a vanilla tart dessert I quietly regretted opting to split with the friend I’d gone with, I’m already plotting a return visit.

THE SHOPPIES

I am very much in my resale bag at the moment guys. This happens from time to time - I go through phases where I suddenly become obsessed with tracking down sold out items from seasons past, often buoyed by the success of a recent find (in this case it’s my new Loewe heels that have whet my resale appetite).

Not to mention that every conversation I’m having with fellow fashion lovers these days seems to revolve around how expensive (and whisper it - overpriced) luxury fashion has become - this 2023 discussion from the New York Times Style team sheds some light on what’s driving those price rises, while fellow Substacker deserves a Fashion Pulitzer for her detailed coverage of this phenomenon over the last few years (here’s an example).

All of which makes resale more and more appealing, especially if you’re not that fussed about having trending ‘It pieces’. Indeed, most of my resale purchases tend to be things I simply overlooked at the time or was slow about buying - like these red asymmetric A.W.A.K.E. Mode mules, which I dilly dallied over during the pandemic and have been trying to track down in my size ever since; or this Rejina Pyo shirt from one of her earliest collections, before I’d even become aware of the brand.

And as I mentioned in my intro, I’ve recently come across two smaller platforms - let’s call them ‘boutique’ resale - that are absolutely stacked with treasures. Both these platforms have a more curated offering and operate slightly differently to the Vestiaires and RealReals of the world, in that you and I can’t simply upload pieces ourselves. From what I can tell, they work on a consignment model and have relationships with select people (I assume stylists, influencers and the like) - so while their overall inventory is smaller, they’re more selective about the brands and pieces that feature on their websites.

Keep reading for bargains including a black Cecilie Bahnsen minidress for £390 (down from an RRP £1300), tonnes of Tibi and Raey (RIP), and a pair of long sold out Phoebe Philo sandals that I desperately wish I’d bought at the time - all of which come with an extra 20% off thanks to an exclusive Add To Wishlist paid subscriber discount code!

And in a win for big footed girlies everywhere, a website with plenty of UK8/41 shoes (which I find resale sites tend to lack) including a delicious pair of patent chocolate brown Bottega heels for under £350 (down from a retail price of £845) that I almost didn’t include here because I still think I might buy them myself…

Let’s get into it!

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Things on my mind this month - Slim Aarons inspired outdoor spaces, the Chloé jelly shoes I predict will be the It-shoe of the summer (and some affordable alts I’ve unearthed), some cool new independent brands, and a pink and white dress that could - nay, should - be Prada SS23 but is in fact… a high street find.

Greetings Spendthrifts,

I’m currently feeling very at peace.

Why are you feeling so at peace Otegha? I hear you cry, voices trembling. Well, I’ll tell you, my darling readers.

I am feeling at peace because… I sacrificed a good chunk of the long Easter weekend in service of finally doing something I’d been putting off for months (and indeed, what else is Easter for besides tackling long overdue household chores… celebrating the resurrection of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ?? Don’t be so Christian).

Friends, I carried out what I’ve literally just this second decided to call a Big Wardrobe Stock Take, taking every single thing out of my wardrobe so that I could re-organise it entirely. Yes, you’ve read that right - I spent a substantial part of the Easter holiday tidying.

Was it helpful that 50% of my clothes were already strewn around my flat? Oh absolutely! It was less a case of taking things out of my wardrobe, more picking them up off the floor and putting them back in it. Until the day I have the perfect walk-in wardrobe (or indeed any wardrobe - a friend has compared my search for a joiner both able, and most importantly WILLING to execute my curved wardrobe vision as ‘my Brutalist’), my ‘wardrobe’ currently consists of an industrial-strength hanging rail in my bedroom, two cupboards in the hallway, a few drawers under my bed and several boxes of miscellaneous ‘spillover’ dotted around the house. Oh, and also my shoe-drobe, which I love and is perfectly organised, but which only houses about half my shoes.

What this means is that I can’t actually see more than about 20% of my wardrobe at one time, which makes it hard to remember what I actually own, and harder still to put together outfits. As a result I find I often default to wearing the same pair of jeans and about three different tops on rotation for weeks on end, before I inevitably get bored of that combo (or let’s face it, things start to smell a bit) and dig around in my wardrobe for a new combo to carry me through the next couple of weeks.

To be clear, this was categorically not a cull, the benefits of which I have written about before - if I did another wardrobe cull so soon after the last one there’d literally be nothing left. No, the primary reason for doing this was to remind myself of what I actually own.

Especially now with the seasons changing, I realised I desperately needed to reacquaint myself with the options available to me, so I took the process extremely seriously. My rails are now categorised by item (long may that last..) c/o of some cheap rail dividers I bought online, and I also made a pile of things that need to be drycleaned or repaired (as well as a section of clothes that are a little more snug than they were last summer, but which I’m not yet ready to give up on - I put those to one side so I don’t factor them in when deciding what to wear).

I’m hoping this stock take makes getting dressed in the coming months easier - and if nothing else, it was a useful exercise to undertake before I buy anything new for spring/summer. I’m constantly on the verge of buying things before remembering I already own something identical, or that would at least work as a good substitute.

Still, there are plenty of spring pieces I’ve got my eye on right now, so this month is a big ole fashion-y dump - lots of transseasonal outfit inspo, some affordable high street alternatives for some of this summer’s ‘It pieces’, and a few independent brands I’ve recently discovered and love. I’m also looking at holiday wear as I’m determined to avoid my usual pre-holiday routine of running around like a headless chicken the day before I travel, trying to expedite delivery on things I should’ve ordered weeks ago.

Speaking of holidays, I was recently introduced to an app I’ve since become utterly obsessed with, using it to scout out cool spots I’d like to visit both at home and abroad, as well as slowly logging everywhere I’ve ever been (and liked), from London to Paris via New York and Marrakesh.

AmiGo is my new go-to for trusted travel reccs and insider tips - the best way I can describe it is by saying “imagine if Instagram were designed solely for finding (and sharing) travel recommendations” - that’s AmiGo.

I think one of the reasons the app is so useful is because it’s selective. Right now it’s invite-only (although you can skip the waitlist with my code OTEGHA) which means you get curated, discerning personal recommendations from people with great taste - photographers, artists, stylists, me😁 - instead of random strangers on TripAdvisor. Lots of my favourite IG fashion follows (e.g. , , and Julia Sarr-Jamois to name just a few) already have profiles on the app.

So - no more writing down travel recommendations in the Notes app, or taking screenshots that will inevitably be lost to the annals of time. AmiGo is 100% going to change the way you travel and help you discover new spots in your own city - prepare to be as obsessed with it as I am.

#amigopartner - I worked with AmiGo on a paid Instagram partnership but I love the app enough (and think you will too!) to feature it here as well.

BTW - if you know you’re attending a wedding this summer, NOW is the time to plan your look to avoid a last minute outfit panic. I shared some advice with How To Spend It vis-à-vis my approach to summer wedding outfits, and the brands I rely on to see me through wedding season).

THE SHOPPIES

Some transeasonal outfit ideas from my Saved folder:

Because if you leave the house without a jumper you’ll freeze to death on your way home, but if you wear one during the day, you’ll sweat through your clothes on the Central line. The solution? Knot an oversized jumper around your shoulders - I love the way Telesha Anderson has tied hers here.

I’ve been meaning to buy a pair of camo trousers for, ooh I’d say the past decade now, and yet somehow just never get round to it, but if there’s one person who can motivate me, it’s Rihanna.

I screenshotted this from ’s Instagram because I thought it was such a good styling trick for making boat shoes a little more ~interesting, right down to the specific shade of blue she chose.

Really into these Trigg shorts, though a pair of regular cycling shorts will do just fine.

A perfect take on one of Carrie Bradshaw’s most iconic looks c/o .

Love a pair of racer shorts for summer - the grey SC103 pair in the photo above are available in navy too (also shout out to Maimoun’s exquisite curation, it’s one of my favourite e-tailers for discovering under the radar brands and where-did-you-get-that pieces). I’d wear this look with a heavy trench or leather bomber until the temps hit the 20s.

Okay this isn’t so much a transseasonal look as a straight up holiday one but something about this look from the new Burbs summer campaign really grabbed me - maybe it’s the Rosie Huntington Whiteley of it all. Regardless, I am now jonesing after a Burberry check bikini to layer under a tank top on the beach this summer. Here’s said bikini + the matching briefs (I think the lichen colourway is a bit more refined than the traditional Burberry tan but do you), and those excellent swimming goggle-esque sunnies, which I feel are key to the look.

What’s in my basket for Spring:

Paid subscribers will recall that in my February newsletter I declared my intention to make this summer ‘the summer of the pedal pusher’, and promised to road test these Swedish Stocking capri leggings the second temperatures allowed (verdict: a great inexpensive option if you’re after a stretchier, more forgiving material).

That said wearing them made me realise that for me personally, my preferred version of the Capri pant/pedal pusher trend is a little shorter - above rather than below the knee, which probably means they’re technically not even Capris. That realisation came courtesy of the Tibi SS25 runway look below - an elongated short (or cropped Capri… is that even a thing?) feels a little fresher and more fashion-y to me right now.

In fact, everything Tibi is doing this season feels so fresh and exactly how I want to dress day to day. It is my greatest frustration and a cause of deep spiritual malaise that Tibi isn’t more widely stocked in the UK (though Farfetch and The Outnet both carry select pieces) - I am convinced my entire wardrobe, nay, life would improve if it were.

I’ve waxed lyrical about my love of their founder and creative director Amy Smilovic’s approach to personal style countless times in this newsletter, but looking at their latest collection it occurred to me that part of what makes the brand so wearable is both the styling (their e-commerce photos always give me new ideas on how to style my existing wardrobe) and their unusual colour pairings. Unsurprisingly, Amy now has a Vogue column called Colour Math, in which she shares unexpected yet approachable ways to style a trending colour through her signature mix-and-match lens - this month it’s butter yellow.

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Greetings Spendthrifts,

I’ve been wanting to send this newsletter out since January, ever since I realised I was probably going to take a writing trip at some point this spring - but then other things kept coming along that I URGENTLY needed to address. Justin Baldoni. I watched Babygirl. In fact I nearly pushed this month’s newsletter topic a third time so that I could write about Meghan Markle’s new Netflix show, but honestly there’ve been so many millions of words written about it already that I thought I’d spare (haha – geddit?) you all another thousand.

So. Writing retreats. By which I mean the solo, self-organised writing trips I periodically take. (I refuse to describe them as writing “holidays” as otherwise my accountant might start querying whether ‘freshly squeezed orange juice’ really does count as a business expense). I’ve just returned from a pretty successful one, in the sense that I wrote consistently, plentifully (by my standards), and feel new energy and focus around the project I’m currently working on.

Try as I might, these days I find my writing progress is often excruciatingly slow at home (which hasn’t always been the case, and I hope will at some point in the future no longer be the case - it’s pretty inconvenient).

On the surface I have a pretty ideal setup and shouldn’t have any issues: I live alone, so don’t have anyone interrupting my work; I have a dedicated study, and a beautiful, giant desk I splurged on specifically so that it might entice me to sit at it each morning; a new public library opened literally thirty seconds from my front door not long ago – at a time when public libraries are disappearing at pace - and still. Le struggle.

[If you scroll through the IG post above you can sort of see my desk in the background - one of the first pieces of furniture I bought when I moved into my flat, purchased from Crosta Smith Gallery, an antique furniture dealer who specialise in French Art Deco. Ain’t she a beaut!]

I find writing from home (and by ‘home’ I mean both my flat, and London in general) fraught with distractions. My train of thought most days goes a little something like this: hmm let me just do some laundry do I need to actually CALL the council about my missing recycling bin or can I just sort that out online ding dong who’s that then ugh just a Hello Fresh salesman actually that reminds me have I run out of milk shit yes I have let me just pop to the supermarket oh the washing’s done I’ll just hang that laundry before the creases set ugh she’s already replied to my email okay I’ll just send a quick holding email !!lunchtime!! hmmm that was a bit disappointing okay back to work or maybe you should go pick up a little treat from Gail’s to make up for it… You get the gist.

After a Q1 where my attention has felt seriously fragmented by various work commitments and, if I’m honest, just an ungodly amount of screen time, I felt it was time to reset my focus via a change of scenery, and a bit of self-imposed isolation.

I’ve done several of these writing trips over the years, and as I was mapping out the when/where/how long of my most recent one, it occurred to me that I’ve learned a thing or ten about how to set yourself up for success that might be useful to share with anyone interested in doing the same - I started jotting down notes on my phone and before I knew it I had 3000 words (!) of practical advice on everything from choosing the right environment and what type of accommodation to book (including where I stayed on my most recent jaunt business trip to Morocco); how to structure your time and set realistic targets, how long to go away for, what kind of reading material to take with you, and everything else that either has or hasn’t worked for me over the years.

I want to stress that you don’t need to be a ‘professional’ writer for this advice to be of use to you – not to sound too Artist’s Way or anything but if writing is something you feel genuinely enthusiastic about (and would like to see what might happen if you took it a bit more seriously) then you should absolutely give yourself permission to do this sort of trip, and not consider it an indulgence which – even as a working writer! - is a mindset I still have to coax myself out of.

As I outline below, you can start small - just a night or two is a great start if you have neither the time, nor the inclination to decamp from your home for a week or longer (not to mention the funds - something else I get into below...)

I have zero experience of the sorts of structured retreats/formal residencies where you’re part of a cohort of fellow writers – the MacDowells and Yaddos of the literary world – though tbh they’re much more of a thing in the US than the UK. I’ve never done one of these myself, and might potentially consider them in future - but honestly most of the time the thing I need to make progress on my writing is just space, time and a bit of solitude, and you don’t need to fill out an application for that. If you’re newer to writing or looking for guidance though – perhaps you’re trying a new medium – then I can definitely see how a retreat with workshops and mentoring etc. would be beneficial.

Ultimately, you don’t need a formalised programme in order to write, nor do you need someone else to organise it for you. You do however, need a plan.

So - here’s how I go about planning mine (continued after the jump).

Until next time,

p.s. speaking of writing, I wrote a short story (scroll to the bottom of the link to read) as part of a new campaign for Pukka Herbs… which, honestly, I had a blast writing! It’s a slightly tongue-in-cheek ~contemporary~ take on a classic fairytale - I shared a bit of my process with HuffPo last week - and I think it’s pretty good. So you should read it, ideally over a cup of Pukka tea ;)

p.p.s. Not one but two of my friends sent me a link to this corny-but-low-key-enjoyable-looking Netflix movie when I mentioned I was off to Morocco to write, which made me laugh a lot. I love movies about writers! They usually have the most preposterous vision of the writing life and I cannot wait to sit down and watch this one, which is also set in Morocco, and stars ACADEMY AWARD WINNER Laura Dern falling for a miscellaneous Hemsworth brother. J’adore!

HOW TO PLAN A SOLO WRITING RETREAT

• Start small. The longest I’ve done a writing trip for is three weeks, which turned out to be far too long - though I think that might have been due to the ambient racism which really wore me down by the end of it (I was in Sicily). If you’re new to this/not particularly comfortable flying solo, maybe try max 3 nights? I’ve just spent a little under a week in Morocco, which felt like the right amount for me this time around.

• Actually, let’s get the racism bit out of the way up front: if you’re a POC, please bear that in mind when choosing your destination and go somewhere reasonably diverse, where people kind of don’t give a f*ck about you. Even if the stares are friendly-curious as opposed to hostile-curious, it will wear you down, more so if your presence prompts more than just stares. So go somewhere you can blend in, and feel reasonably anonymous.

• Don’t go with a friend. That’s just a holiday waiting to happen I’m afraid.

• Don’t attempt to write all day every day. It’s just not realistic babe (editing existing work is a different matter, but pure generative writing? No). I tend to break my writing up into a couple of hours in the morning and a couple in the afternoon, reading, thinking and relaxing in between. Maybe you want to get all of your writing done first thing, and then give yourself the afternoon off. Maybe you feel like tinkering a bit in the evenings after dinner? Whatever works for you, but all I can say is that even when I’ve been on a tight book deadline (as I was for Whites), the absolute max number of FOCUSED WRITING HOURS I’ve done in a day is 4.5 hours.

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Greetings Spendthrifts,

As I write this a shard of sunlight has just come creeping through my blinds, in what I hope signals if not the beginning of spring, then at least the beginning of the end of one of the gloomiest winters since records began. I have been aggressively wintering so far this year (in the Katherine May sense of the word), and so this month’s newsletter is a more culture heavy issue to reflect the sheer amount of time I’ve been spending either cosied up in front of the fire or (more often) lounging in bed.

Coming up:

• A few 10/10 book recommendations, including a novel that’s just been longlisted for the International Booker Prize, and a very hyped (but potentially Marmite) ‘novel in stories’ that I personally loved.

• The unexpectedly great Netflix mini-series I binged in two days.

• A beautiful (and surprisingly affordable) countryside mini break destination I stayed at with friends recently, and the interiors inspiration I took from it.

• Some clothes I have my eye on for when spring properly arrives (which could be any time between now and, like, June).

• Lots and lots and LOTS of excellent articles, including an account of what it’s like to see a beloved former teacher accused of murder (!); a truly wild story about unveiling a teenage girl’s cyberbully, and a thought provoking read on friendships, accountability, and making amends.

• And speaking of articles, a couple of pieces from the last month or two by yours truly: for HTSI I wrote about a beautiful wellness retreat in Koh Samui I visited last year (very White Lotus, but without the murder); and for this month’s Elle I wrote an essay about my penchant for ‘ugly’ things, and why my taste in fashion and interiors is increasingly leaning towards the weird…

First up though - can we talk about Babygirl?

I know, I know - you’ve probably read more than enough takes on it by now.

But mine is the correct one, so hush up and keep reading (unless you haven’t seen it yet in which case I urge you to skip the next few paragraphs. This isn’t a spoiler-heavy review but, as I explain right at the end of this piece, I think consuming too much analysis about a piece of culture before you’ve actually read or watched it yourself is increasingly detrimental to our appreciation of the arts).

Babygirl opinions among people I’ve spoken to so far seem to be fairly evenly split, as do the reviews - some people loved it, others thought it was terrible. I didn’t think it was terrible - I thought it was actually pretty good, and certainly interesting. It gave me a lot to think about, and talk about afterwards with the friend I went to see it with, which truthfully is more than alot of movies can say these days. That said, I’m not sure I found the resolution particularly satisfying, especially given director Halina Reijn’s stated intention of making an “erotic thriller”. I never really felt there was much jeopardy in Romy’s (the high-powered CEO played by Nicole Kidman) position. The notion that she could ‘lose it all’ - and the necessary tension that would have supplied - just wasn’t potent enough.

I suspect people who felt disappointed by Babygirl feel that way because it didn’t turn out to be a particularly sexy movie, as was the implicit promise of all that marketing (“the sexiest movie of the year”) and, y’know, the premise. Babygirl is sexual, rather than sexy. It’s about sex (among other things), and there’s a fair amount of it in the film but it’s... not all that erotic?

I did appreciate that Romy and Samuel’s dynamic was idiosyncratic and specific enough to seem real - this wasn’t a generic, broad-strokes portrayal of BDSM (looking at you Fifty Shades). Something I think it did very well was portray that sex between two people will always be an experience unique to them - their chemistry, their history, their desires. I didn’t ‘get’ some of what our starcrossed lovers were into, but it’s clear that they both got off on it and really, that’s all that matters when two people are having sex. That they’re both into it.

And the acting’s great! Even sitting in a theatre in Soho, palpably aware that I was Watching A Movie, I frequently felt like I was intruding on a private moment - Nicole Kidman’s character looks genuinely uncomfortable a lot of the time, and Harris Dickinson also gave a great, naturalistic performance, both of which made me squirm at points. And look, were there a few sort-of-sexy moments? Sure - but I didn’t necessarily leave with a raging crush on Dickinson the way the Internet would have you believe was an inevitability of seeing this film, nor did I think that was the point? If anything I was more attracted to Harris Dickinson before seeing the movie - he plays Samuel with a petulance and immaturity that for me, seriously undercut the attractiveness of his character. Dickinson has infinitely more rizz out of character/as himself than as Samuel, as evidenced by his hilariously unsympathetic attempt at playing ‘agony uncle’ for British Vogue:

The most unexpected part of Babygirl however, is that it’s a far more interesting and complex movie than all the marketing and ensuing discourse have made it out to be! As is often the case these days, it’s been boiled down to a few viral images and memeable moments, most of which pop up in the trailer: the glass of milk; the Father Figure dance; the phrase ‘good girl’. Just look at how A24 advertised it for Valentines’ Day:

This seems to be the only way we can consume movies (and culture) these days. I think of it as the Saltburn-ification of cinema, a movie that was little more than a series of shocking visuals and scenes designed to go viral (the bath water scene, the graveyard scene, and of course THAT final scene), loosely strung together into a plot with holes in it big enough to put your fist through and completely implausible characterisation, not to mention a twist that left me confused only because it was so plainly obvious that I was utterly baffled when it was presented as a ‘big reveal’. I felt the same way about Barbie, a movie I feel like I know intimately despite having never watched it - every memorable line or scene has been clipped and disseminated ad infinitum across the social Internet, or used for captions on Instagram (‘my job is beach’ - very original).

Everyone - audiences and filmmakers alike - seems to be looking for their Connell’s chain moment, as though that moment wasn’t created organically, as a result of us all being locked in our houses and the ensuing cabin fever that wrought.

And look, I get it. People aren’t going to the cinema anymore, it being both cheaper and easier to watch things at home when they arrive on Amazon or wherever, so whatever gets bums on seats is fair game, even if that means reducing a film to its most memeable parts. These days I’m trying to counteract that development by reading less about movies I intend to watch before seeing them, and making an effort to go see them early on, as it’s basically impossible to avoid the memes and little clips on socials if you’re as online as I am.

A movie I knew very little about before going to watch it - and subsequently really enjoyed - was Conclave, which I saw just before Christmas. I knew the rough concept of course - the selection of a new Pope - but I think the ostensibly dry subject matter meant it generated way less discourse and memes. I essentially went in blind, not knowing any of the plot points, character motivations, or personalities. I was able to be surprised (and boy was I! There was one moment where half the cinema, myself included, burst out in shocked laughter, a moment I know would have lost all impact if I’d known it was coming).

Anyway. Let me get off my soapbox.

Here are some things you might want to buy, and A LOT of things you’ll definitely want to read.

THE SHOPPIES

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Greetings Spendthrifts - and Happy New Year!

Thank you so much to everyone who filled out last month’s reader survey (which is still open if you haven’t already). The results were very enlightening, not least because it turns out the vast majority of you did in fact come to this newsletter because of my books, journalism, podcast etc., and are very happy for me to include more writing in this newsletter (literally 99% of you answered ‘yes please’ to that question, which genuinely came as a surprise! I really thought you guys were just here for the clothes..)

So with that in mind, I plan to start including more writing in this newsletter - think opinions, cultural commentary and column-y pieces (I’ve always wanted a column) on whatever I’m finding interesting or notable. As always, I shall endeavour to earn my place in your inbox and make my emails worth your time - we all get enough of them as it is, and I don’t take it lightly that people welcome me into theirs.

And so, without further ado…

HERE’S EVERYTHING I’VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THE BLAKE LIVELY VS JUSTIN BALDONI FEUD

Okay so by now there’s pretty much zero chance you’re unaware of the celebrity feud that’s shaping up to be one of THEE juiciest celebrity dramas of 2025 (and I write that only one week into January). I am of course talking about the lawsuit Blake Lively recently filed against her It Ends With Us co-star/director Justin Baldoni, and the series of lawsuits, counterlawsuits, denials and general messiness wrought in its wake.

First off, can we all just agree that the timing of the suit was itself an excellent PR move? News of the drama broke in the New York Times only a few days before Christmas, just as people were logging off work and onto their phones for the holidays. I personally spent much of the holiday period texting various friends my increasingly unhinged theories about the drama and Googling various iterations of ‘Justin Baldoni manbun’ - heck, I even drafted several hundred words of this newsletter on Christmas Eve, which to my dismay/delight became increasingly obsolete as the days rolled by and the lawsuits and countersuits came pouring in. (Also please note the byline on that NYT article, Megan Twohey being one of the two journalists who broke the Harvey Weinstein story in 2017...Camp Lively were off to a flying start with that).

Lively’s suit (which is well worth a read) makes for pretty astonishing reading. I consider myself a fairly media literate person, but I was still stunned by some of the claims it made, specifically those concerning the media tactics publicists might employ to protect their clients. I’d never heard of the term ‘astroturfing’ before, although I understood it as a concept - I just assumed it was the sort of niche behaviour only dodgy fascist politicians and Elon Musk-types engaged in, rather than something mainstream Hollywood entertainment publicists put in their new biz pitch decks. The breeziness with which Baldoni’s PRs discussed potentially “burying” Lively’s reputation using online manipulation makes me think those strategies are probably far more common than we all realise.

(Can I also say that it is INSANE how much of their plans Baldoni’s team put in writing?? People talk about meetings that could’ve been an email, but these are some emails that should’ve been meetings!)

That said, it’s still unclear to what extent Justin Baldoni’s team were in fact responsible for the negative press Blake Lively garnered during the It Ends With Us press tour, and how much of that was generated by her own goofy missteps. (I am inclined to believe her claims of inappropriate on-set behaviour by Baldoni. The evidence he’s offered as proof of his innocence on that count is extremely thin, to say the least - and the fact none of their other cast members seemed to really fuck with him even before this lawsuit became public feels pretty material).

Baldoni has so far responded to Blake Lively’s complaint by suing the New York Times - an organisation that hasn’t lost a libel case since the 1960s - for $250 MILLION, claiming their article was inaccurate and defamatory, and alleging that the paper essentially colluded with Blake Lively to besmirch his honour which… okay! You can read his lawsuit here: it includes a semiotic analysis of the upside down smiley emoji that has truly tickled me, as well as an assertion by Baldoni that Ryan Reynolds (i.e. Blake Lively’s husband) berated him “perhaps intentionally, as other celebrity friends were coming in and out of their penthouse”, which I find to be such a telling detail to have included. It smacks of someone harbouring insecurities about his celebrity status, and IMO sheds light on some of the undercurrents at the heart of this saga.

Days after filing that lawsuit, Justin Baldoni’s lawyer revealed that he also intends to sue Blake Lively “into oblivion”, having previously stated that he is “more than willing to take every single text message that exists out there, lay them out, put them on a website for the world to see, have them see the truth and determine the truth for themselves” (to which I immediately thought well let’s bloody have them then you tease).

Meanwhile, Justin Baldoni is also being sued by his former publicist Stephanie Jones (along with his current publicist Jennifer Abel) for breach of contract, having allegedly cut short their year-long agreement to skip off into the proverbial sunset with Abel, who is supposedly the one responsible for orchestrating the whole anti-Blake smear campaign. You can read that lawsuit in full here.

I’ve read a few articles speculating that Baldoni’s former publicist Stephanie Jones (i.e. the one who is now suing him) may have willingly handed over the texts and emails that have landed him in hot water, per the LA Times report below:

Some attorneys speculated that the subpoena had the hallmarks of a so-called “friendly subpoena,” where one side is seeking records from another party, who can use the subpoena as legal cover. Put another way, the owner of the records may want to give them up, and the subpoena allows them to say they were forced to comply.

It is notable that Blake Lively isn’t (yet?) suing Stephanie Jones, given the entire shitshow went down while Baldoni was still being represented by her PR firm.

If you’re still keeping up - well done. The whole saga is a rich, rich text, though I’m trying to resist the urge to offer any conclusive analysis about it given how many unknowns remain. Even as I type this, someone, somewhere is probably drafting a lawsuit against one of the involved parties.

From the outside though, this situation basically feels like a very expensive exercise in reputation management on both sides, from two people who are constitutionally incapable of taking an L - not to mention a pretext to (selectively) leak screenshots of texts and emails that seemingly damn the other side. The legal documents both parties have filed so far seem written as much for the benefit of the general public as for the legal bodies who will eventually adjudicate their merits - Blake Lively’s lawyers actually released a statement saying “while we will not litigate this matter in the press, we do encourage people to read Ms. Lively’s complaint in its entirety,” which to me seems a wholly contradictory sequence of words. Everyone involved in this is very much fighting in the court of public opinion - why else would Stephanie Jones (Baldoni’s former publicist - the one who is now suing him and his current publicist Jennifer Abel... keep up!) include screenshots of disparaging texts ABEL had sent about BALDONI in the lawsuit she’s filing against the pair of them?

I’m no lawyer so I might be wrong on this but - those texts don’t seem all that material to the thrust of Jones’ case. To me they read like someone who’s tryna get her lick back against a former employee that a) allegedly stole a client and slagged her off to industry peers and b) has dragged her into an unGodly mess that’s left her scrambling to placate one of Hollywood’s most powerful couples. (Jones denies having had any involvement in or knowledge of the anti-Blake smear campaign plan, despite Abel being an employee of hers at the time said plan was allegedly executed. A likely story!)

I’m also fascinated by the logic being employed by both Baldoni and Lively’s legal teams, which implies that the leaked texts and emails (while very revealing and damning and all of that stuff) necessarily paint a complete picture of whatever transpired, either on set or afterwards. Baldoni in particular has presented texts he sent to others as definitive proof of what transpired on set, as though it’s impossible for someone to misrepresent (deliberately or otherwise) a situation in their texts to a third party. I could text my mum right now and say “btw yesterday Dad promised to give me a million pounds” - doesn’t mean that actually happened.

I wouldn’t be surprised if either or both parties (though my money’s on Baldoni) are quietly documenting proceedings on camera for the eventual documentary drop in a year or two, as a way of further spinning the narrative.

I think we can all agree though on the moral of this story, which is that Colleen Hoover urgently needs to be deplatformed, as without her books NONE of this would have happened.

Also in this month’s issue:

• The Shoppies: everything I’ve got my eye on at the moment, including the perfect leopard coat.

• The interiors resource I’ve been gatekeeping (and will continue to, soz - this one’s for paid subscribers only)

• Reading: about the (supposed) demise of the “performatively messy womanhood” literary trend; and a therapist discusses how her private life being made public affected her patient relationships.

• Watching: a beautiful period(ish) drama that moved me to tears.

Let’s go.

THE SHOPPIES

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No paywall on this month’s newsletter (‘tis the season etc etc) - consider it my Christmas present to you! On which note, if you’re currently flailing around in a last minute panic looking for Christmas gifts, have a peek at last month’s issue of Add To Wishlist for a few tried-and-tested present ideas:

Otherwise, I hope you’re winding down for the holidays! I certainly am - the siren call of my OOO beckons, and this newsletter is one of the last things I plan to do before putting mine on for the rest of 2024. This year has both flown by and felt super long - I look back at places I went or things I did in February or March, or even May, and think… was that really this year?

Something I’ve felt very keenly since entering my thirties is how time seems to have taken on an almost elastic quality. I’m familiar with the school of thought that as you get older, each calendar year constitutes a smaller fraction of your life, and therefore a year feels shorter than it did in your youth, but I also find I seem to be retaining fewer specific memories than I did in my twenties. I seem to remember so much less than I used to be able to - I’m constantly surprised at how often someone will describe an event or memory to me that I know technically I was present for but seem to have retained no corporeal memory of, or how vaguely I remember the details of books I read only a few years ago. Having for most of my life prided myself on never forgetting a name or face, more and more frequently these days I find myself introducing myself to someone only to be told that we’ve actually met before. My totally unscientific theory is that our brains - or certainly mine - reaches something like full capacity in our early thirties, and in order for new things to make their way in (as they must - the inexorable march of time etc etc), some of the older stuff has to fall out.

My failing memory aside, this month’s newsletter is something of a grab bag of everything that’s on my mind at the moment: plenty of fashion, of course, as well as quite a few culture recommendations; plus a reader survey (!) to help me get a better idea of who’s reading this newsletter and what to focus it on in 2025 - more on that below. But first:

THINGS OTEGHA UWAGBA FINDS COMMON

Not long after I sent out last month’s newsletter, in which I extolled the joys of Nicky Haslam’s ‘common list’, my friend (who writes a very fun and interesting newsletter about fashion, culture, and the Internet: Offbrand) sent me the text above, my immediate response to which was my god why has no-one ever asked me this before. So ensued a very enjoyable half hour or so in which we swapped our own suggestions, some* of which I’m now pleased to unveil here for your amusement (and potential derision):

• Moët champagne

• Soho Farmhouse

• House of Hackney

• Hay (specifically saying “oh it’s from Hay”)

• Salt pigs

• Tablescaping (please can we just go back to calling it ‘setting the table’)

• No bookings restaurants (grow up!)

• Gardening

• Log burning stoves (too Industrial Revolution)

• Patterned tights

*Please note these are simply MY suggestions, Emma’s will (for now) remain safely in the recesses of our Whatsapp chat.

**I have of course had to leave out a few suggestions for the sake of er, preserving relationships shall we say.

What are your thoughts - do you agree? Disagree? Feel free to sound off in the comments - I’m curious to hear other people’s suggestions (and potentially add them to my own list..).

Leave a comment

READER SURVEY

It’s safe to say I’ve been a rather reluctant Substack convert. I’ve never been an early adopter of these sorts of platforms anyway, so I resisted it for years (for reasons I outlined in my very first dispatch of this newsletter). I value being properly edited, and frankly I’m a bit of an old-fashioned media snob: I like seeing my work in print, and the cachet of writing for prestige publications, not to mention the wider readership you automatically get. I really had (have?) little desire to run my own self-operated ‘publication’.

That said, a few conversations I’ve had recently about my growing disillusionment with the experience of freelance journalism in the UK have made me start to consider housing more of my writing here. Yes, I know - I’ve finally cottoned on to how other writers have been using Substack for oh, maybe 5+ years now. I did say I’ve never been an early adopter.

For now I’m thinking of adding the occasional think-y-commentary-opinion-y piece into the mix - y’know, thoughts and observations, that kind of thing. It’ll be in addition to, rather than instead of, the fashion stuff - but I’m still weighing it up! And before I go gallivanting down an avenue that deviates from the initial promise of this newsletter, I thought I’d gauge your appetite for said avenue - hence this reader survey.

There are over 14,000 (!) of you subscribed to this newsletter, but I only have a hazy idea of who you actually are, how you discovered my work, why you subscribe to this newsletter, and so on… Literally who ARE you people? Am I correct in assuming many of you came to this Substack because you’re a fan of my journalism/books? Because you were previously subscribed to my culture-focused newsletter of yore, The Roundup? Are you here solely for the clothes? Curious minds would like to know!

Take The Survey

It’s a super-short survey - just five tick-box questions (six if you care to leave a comment) and should only take 30 seconds, so please do give it a click.

THE SHOPPIES

I really was not planning on indulging in the Net A Porter Black Friday sale - I can’t think of any items that my wardrobe is desperately missing at the moment (though I’m sure that’ll change soon enough, as it always does). So I was fairly unmoved when a friend texted me a screenshot of that juicy ‘50% off’ homepage a few weeks ago. But then, on a whim, I decided to look for this (nearly sold out but available in a size S here, and an X Small/Medium here) slinky blue Conner Ives shell dress, which I’ve had my eye on since I saw it on the runway earlier this year.

Alas, it is WAY out of my budget, but that Google search also turned up a pair of black jersey Connor Ives trousers with the same shell/waist sash detail that had caught my eye, priced much more affordably in the NAP sale.

At this point I entered what can only be described as a fugue state, and when I came to I found that I’d bought not only the aforementioned trousers (which I know were a good buy because I wore them out to dinner the very same day they arrived), but also the gathered asymmetric cashmere top by The Row I’m wearing in the photo below…

…which I first borrowed for an event last summer and utterly fell in love with, before remembering that my pockets are not full-price-The-Row deep. I was surprised to see it in the NAP sale a full 18 months later (and in my size too!) - it felt like a sign from the universe, one that I had no choice but to heed. No link because I got the last one I’m afraid.

I was also seduced by this grey Acne Studios blazer - plus I’ve actually had ‘grey blazer’ on my wishlist for a while now, so this felt a bit more justifiable - only to find it was sold out in my size. I ordered the closest available size just to see if I could make it work, but it was a pinch too tight when buttoned up, so I returned it. They’ve still got it in a UK4 and UK6 if that’s you, and I can vouch for the quality and construction - I very nearly didn’t send it back.

[EDIT: I literally woke up this morning and sleepily scrolled through my NAP wishlist - priorities - and WEEKS after the blazer was showing as ‘sold out’ in my size, it had come BACK IN STOCK. Patience is a virtue my friends - never settle for something that doesn’t fit 100%. The blazer is currently en route].

I’m not allowed to do any more shopping for a while now as I’ve had quite a lavish month, but if I could, here’s what else I’d be buying from the Net A Porter sale:

These gold Amina Muaddi sandals (50% off); this sheer tulle Christopher Esber top (40% off); this Alighieri hair tie (40% off); and these beige Jil Sander sandals (50% off), which I already own in white so am including solely for you guys [interestingly their ‘sale’ price is basically what I paid for them 3 years ago at ‘full price’. Luxury good price inflation is completely out of control!]

Other recent wardrobe additions:

Turns out when I really like something I take a selfie of it in my bathroom mirror? Here are my favourite new bits.

This 1970s-esque Mother Denim cardigan which I’ve worn basically every single day since I got it last week.

This cream NA-KD jumper (from their collaboration with Camille Charriere) with a very chic shoulder overlap detail punches WAY above its £55 price point IMO.

And this slinky little Paris Georgia top from their Resort ‘25 collection is not for the faint of heart but - fortune favours the bold. I actually took part in a fun campaign to celebrate the launch of their ‘Career Girl’ t-shirt collab with artist Todd Sweeney last month, so I’m wearing rather a lot of (#kindly #gifted) Paris Georgia at the moment:

Expect to see me in their zebra slip skirt (NB: size up) and black bodice top soon.

Other things I’m into this month:

This silver folded pearl ring from jewellery brand Ryenn’s Eyes new collab with artist Quentin Jones, and this recycled plastic tote bag from Japanese brand Puebco.

Five of my favourite outfit posts I’ve saved on Instagram this year:

Greta Lee in Hoda Kova:

Magasin’s in a Comme Si shirt (although it’s the grey Maria McManus shorts that really make the outfit for me):

This beautiful Sandra Cronan creation:

This Victoria Beckham look:

And this outfit c/o Barbara Martelo:

Some good perfumes:

I recently switched to a new scent, something I only do every few years - I’m not really into chopping and changing perfumes, and tend to just wear the same one constantly until I feel like it’s time for a change. In recent years that’s been Maya Njie’s Tobak; this one by Etat Libre D’Orange (which truthfully I didn’t wear for long, though I’m still glad I own it), and more recently Costa Brazil’s Aroma, which I’ve been a devotee of since it launched 3 years ago. Sadly it’s no longer available in the UK, so I’m saving the little I have left of my remaining bottle for special occasions.

But no matter! Because over the summer I had my head turned by French perfumer Matiere Premiere, and have now adopted Parisian Musc as my go-to scent (their Crystal Saffron is also very good, though not as much as a ‘daily use’ scent). They’re stocked in the basement in Liberty’s if you fancy a trial spritz before you commit.

INTERIORS INTERLUDE

• I adore this freaky lopsided melted glass jug/vase I got from Completed Works (I went for acid green for full freakiness but it’s also available in a more neutral clear, as well as magenta). I’m trying to figure out what sort of flowers or foliage to fill it with - I want to capitalise on its slightly off-kilter vibe, maybe go a bit ikebana y’know?

Anyway. I really like Completed Work’s glassware range in general - it feels really original, and different from most of the other homeware on the market right now.

• I recently subscribed to interior design maestro ’s new Substack. Wearstler’s services (and general aesthetic) are far beyond anything I will ever be able to afford in this lifetime or the next, but I love looking at pictures of her completed projects all the same. Her new newsletter covers architecture, design, fashion and her various influences, and is a more affordable (free, actually) way of accessing the mind of one of the world’s leading interior designers.

• You’re probably already familiar with East London Cloth (I consider them singlehandedly responsible for reviving the cafe curtain trend in the UK these past few years), but you might not be as familiar with CC Moulton, their recently launched sister brand specialising in premium fabrics and furniture:

Think sumptuous mid-century/1970s Italianate fabrics - it’s all rich taffetas, moire silks and ornate tassels. I intend to make use of this woven ikat fabric just as soon as I work out exactly where best to incorporate it into my flat.

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THE ROUNDUP

READING

I soaked up every single word of this excellent New York Times profile of ballet dancer and artist Mikhail Baryshnikov, in which journalist Jason Diamond poses (and answers) the question: ‘Is Mikhail Baryshnikov the Last of the Highbrow Superstars?’

Aside from being brilliantly written, it gave me some much-needed context for the extent of Baryshnikov’s fame, and the scope of his legacy. Sure I was aware that he’d been something of a stunt casting as Aleksandr Petrovsky/The Russian in Sex And The City - albeit a very competent one - but until I read this article I hadn’t truly grasped the extent of his pre-SATC fame, nor the acclaim he’d garnered for his work. As Diamond writes, “At its peak, his fame was comparable to a pop star’s at the dawn of the music-video era. I was a child in the 1980s, I told him, and I could remember hearing about him before I become aware of, say, Madonna or Prince.” I sure as shit didn’t know that.

I find his single-minded focus on making art for art’s sake (as opposed to for money, fame or simply to sell things) deeply inspirational, as well as a little envy-inspiring - the article deftly examines the (near) impossibility of following the same route in today’s cultural and economic climate, and left me feeling a little nostalgic for a cultural landscape that I was born several decades too late to experience.

I’ve included a couple of my favourite quotes from the article below (though I implore you to read it in full!):

Today, to have achieved this level of fame by dancing in a revival of “Apollo,” or in a ballet Jerome Robbins created specifically for you to Prokofiev’s Violin Concerto No. 1, seems unlikely at best. But Baryshnikov arrived at a very specific time — between the period when people like Leonard Bernstein or Maria Callas could be household names and novelists were regular guests on the country’s biggest talk shows and the era when the nation became obsessed with very new kinds of celebrity. Baryshnikov is a highbrow superstar, and possibly one of the last we will ever see.

(this bit made me laugh):

When I asked if he paid any attention to social media platforms like TikTok — where young people post and analyze clips from his best-known dance performances, explaining his technique and his accomplishments — he gave me a look that defied the idea that there are no stupid questions.

Like Baryshnikov, [musician Laurie Anderson] is the rare artist who has experienced transcending the avant-garde to seize mainstream attention — something she finds difficult to imagine happening to many people these days. “There are a hundred times more artists now,” she says. “Everybody is screaming for attention, it’s incredibly corporate and it’s really speedy.”

Another excellent read that’s been on my mind lately is the New Yorker’s Kyle Chayka on The Banality of Online Recommendation Culture. Oh the irony of sharing an essay that effectively argues against the existence of newsletters such as this one! I assure you it isn’t lost on me. But it’s a perceptive and thought-provoking read, with lots of good insights - I particularly liked his theory that ‘taste’ is “the new dominant commodity”. A few other quotes that jumped out at me include:

By sharing your taste online, you can develop cultural capital. As Bainbridge put it, “Making the right recommendation comes with clout.”

…the recent surge of human-curated guidance is both a reaction against and an extension of the tyranny of algorithmic recommendations…

E-mail newsletters encourage a kind of benign narcissism: in the quest to fill readers’ inboxes, authors resort to sharing the latest books they’ve read, albums they’ve listened to, and podcasts whose opinions they’ve adopted.”

Did it poke at some of the uncomfortable questions I often ask myself about the value of Substack as an exercise? Why yes. Do I plan to stop sharing my recommendations and thoughts with you guys? For now… no.

I also really enjoyed fashion critic Rosalind Jana’s ‘year in fashion’ article for Art Review, and her thoughts on why the fashion industry just feels a bit all over the place lately:

“Labels are not the tastemakers they once were. In fact, taste is now acquired from so many sources that the only way to keep up is to position oneself not just as a purveyor of clothes or cosmetics but as a mascot of deeper cultural richness. The scale of fashion’s cultural engagement right now reads like a frantic land grab; an attempt to both justify and protect various brands’ continued existence by infiltrating more areas of life, extending the reach one Miu Miu bookmark at a time.”

Book-wise, a lot of the reading I’m doing at the moment is for research purposes so I won’t bore you with those, but for “pleasure”, I’m currently reading The Overstory by Richard Powers, which was recommended to me recently.

I’d never heard of it before (which is my bad - it was a #1 NYT bestseller AND won the Pulitzer for Fiction in 2019), and I initially didn’t think it would be for me. The blurb describes it as “a sweeping, impassioned work of activism and resistance that is also a stunning evocation of―and paean to―the natural world” which sounds grand and all, but isn’t a subject I’d have been drawn to if left to my own devices. And yet! I’m finding it very compelling so far (I’m a third of the way through - it’s a bit of a doorstopper at 600 pages), and eager to see where it takes me. I’ll report back in a future newsletter.

Otherwise, I’ve resolved to spend the next few months clearing the absolute STACK of books currently living on my bedside tables before I allow a single new book to darken my doorstep. I bought so many books this autumn, and have a terrible habit of dropping whatever I’m reading to start reading the latest arrival, putting the unfinished book on my bedside “for later”. There are currently around 7 or 8 such books languishing in my bedroom, through no fault of their own, and my first 2025 resolution is to finish them all. I shall report back on the best of the bunch in due course (current residents include Free Love by Tessa Hadley, The Line of Beauty by Alan Hollinghurst, and Capital by John Lancaster - they’re mostly backlist, with the exception of an advance copy of Ordinary Love by Marie Rutoski, a big hype-y literary novel out next summer that I’ve been assured I’ll love).

My pal Claire - owner of East London’s famous Violet Cakes bakery - has just opened a new cafe inside the Alaïa London flagship store of all places (!), which I’m very excited to go check out ASAP. Not just because it looks fuuucking cool (you know I love a stainless steel kitchen), but because it’s part of a new space that also contains a “library-like” bookstore curated by Claire de Rouen Books, a decades-old haven of rare art, photography and fashion books. Read all about it on Wallpaper.

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LISTENING

JMSN - this album came out last year, but I only discovered it a few weeks ago. I’ve had it on heavy rotation ever since.

Mustafa - a singer who featured heavily in my Spotify Wrapped this year, I first discovered his folk-ish music after a chance meeting at a friend’s dinner party earlier this year. I’ve been enthralled ever since.

Duval Timothy - a composer and producer for the likes of Kendrick Lamar, this artist was also a major player on my Spotify Wrapped this year, probably because whenever I sit down to write I immediately put on his music and just listen to it over and over again… I genuinely think I’ve developed some kind of Pavlovian response to it now. It’s the perfect soundtrack for writing to (or for doing any work that requires deep focus) as I can’t listen to music with actual lyrics when I’m trying to concentrate - but even then, I still want something sonically interesting to listen to, as opposed to some anodyne ‘lo-fi studio beats’ background music. Duval Timothy’s work fits the bill perfectly.

WATCHING

Conclave (out now)

Haven’t seen this yet, but I’ve been on board ever since I saw a tweet describing it as ‘like if Real Housewives was set in the Vatican’, which made me laugh a lot. A nice gossip-y but still prestige film, featuring mega talents like Stanley Tucci and Ralph Fiennes being slyly competitive… what’s not to like?? I’m planning a solo cinema date this week the second my OOO goes on.

Babygirl (out Jan 10)

I’ve watched this trailer more times than I care to admit in a public forum. Let’s just leave it at that, shall we?

That’s all for today folks - see you in the New Year. Don’t forget to fill out the reader survey!

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Greetings Spendthrifts,

This month’s newsletter is already pretty long as is, so I’ll skip the excessive preamble and just let you know that this is an edited and updated version of the ‘evergreen gift list’ I sent out last year, which also turned out to be one of my most popular newsletters (which made me vow to send it out much earlier this year, as I realise not everyone leaves their present shopping until December like I do). Many of the items on it are the same (as implied by the ‘evergreen’), but I’ve updated it to include a few more suggestions that I’ve come across over the past year (and also pruned a handful of suggestions from the 2023 list). So it’s a long one! Maybe make yourself a cup of tea before diving in :)

Over the last few weeks I’d slightly begun to lose my nerve over how to approach this month’s newsletter, thanks to the absolute avalanche of Christmas gift lists already published so far this year. Would anyone even be interested in a gift list come early December (which is when I personally start to do my Christmas shopping, but which I’ve noted described elsewhere as ‘last minute’)? Should I be creating a gift list divided into a million tiny sub-sections titled ‘For Him’, ‘For Her’, ‘For The In Law You Secretly Resent But Have To Buy Something For So What’s Nice But Not Too Nice’ etc. etc.

Fortunately I happened to read fashion journalist Amy Odell’s newsletter…

Back Row

Do People Gift These Things?

Happening in the Back Row chat: Paid subscribers can sound off on the second Phoebe Philo drop, which hit the internet yesterday. (The first chat thread on Philo’s launch was one of my favorites ever…

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3 years ago · 77 likes · 13 comments · Amy Odell

…about the absurdity of so many of the gift lists published at this time of year, and it confirmed that my initial instincts on how to approach my gift list had been correct (and that the majority of Christmas gift lists published by retailers, the media and brands have entirely lost the plot). All people really want is a tight edit of a few interesting and original gift ideas that can work for a variety of people in their life - so that’s what I’m focusing on with this issue.

I used to be terrible at giving gifts. I enjoy giving them, but I hate (or hated) looking for them - and not just at Christmas, but year round. New baby gifts, birthday gifts, anniversary gifts… looking for presents to a deadline stresses me the f*ck out, and so I’d hide my head in the sand and leave it to the last possible minute, which of course only compounded my stress, and led to increasingly desperate choices over the years.

My personal Christmas present shopping low point came in 2014, when I’d left things so last minute that I found myself in the Stratford Westfield Hallmark on Christmas Eve (i.e. one of Dante’s nine circles), and ended up literally bribing a stranger in order to avoid the 45-minute queue for the tills. I’ve found myself on Oxford Street the weekend before Christmas on multiple occasions in my life, though I did bump into Zadie Smith one year which in many ways validated my own poor decision-making.

Thankfully I’m much better at present shopping these days, mostly because I’ve finally freed myself from the tyranny of the ‘suggested gift products’ given top billing on shop floors at Christmas time (trust me - nobody in your life wants a trio of sparkly nail polishes), and realised that the key to buying good presents is to remember they’re supposed to be A Treat. The aim is to buy people slightly nicer versions of things they already like or have, but that they probably wouldn’t treat themselves to. ‘The smallest thing in the fanciest shop’ - those are the gifts they’ll actually use, appreciate, and buy again for themselves or others.

And you want to make them feel good! Lately I’ve realised that giving people interesting gifts makes the recipients themselves feel interesting. It’s been a genuine compliment when I’ve received some of the items below - they’ve made me feel chic, and erudite - and ultimately isn’t the point of giving presents about making people feel good?

All that to say that this is less of a ‘gift list’, and more a gifting-themed list. Most of the items on it would, yes, absolutely work as Christmas presents and stocking fillers, but they’re also just good presents you can give to your loved ones year round - a gift list for life, not just for Christmas (sorry). These are gifts for saying thank you, or happy birthday, or simply to cheer someone up; gifts for when flowers-and-a-card feels too impersonal.

They’re things I love and can’t live without, many of which I originally received as gifts myself and have since gone on to buy for other people. I make the case for a fancy pot pourri (yes you read that right - everything old is new again) [Editors note: the 2024 version of this is a delicious incense I’ve been burning nonstop]. I’ve included an interior design handbook that explains what looks good and why, and was indispensable to me when I was renovating my home.

Almost all the items on it are permanent offerings from the brands that make them, so they’ll still be available in six months time and likely much longer - I’m hoping that this newsletter will be something you can refer back to time and time again, when you’re stuck on what to buy for someone you love. And now, without further ado…

OTEGHA’S ULTIMATE CHRISTMAS GIFT LIST (UPDATED 2024 EDITION)

NICKY HASLAM’S LIST

Those of you who follow me on Instagram will know by now how obsessed I am with interior designer to the super-posh Nicky Haslam’s annual ‘Things Nicky Haslam Finds Common’ list. I’m not sure at what point over the last few years I first became aware of it, but its annual reappearance for me marks the beginning of the slow countdown to Christmas (I’m being 100% sincere here).

Printed on a tea towel and known to include members of the Royal Family, it’s a firmly tongue in cheek swipe at various cultural phenomena, people and trends that Haslam deems to be ‘in poor taste’. It’s also acidly funny - I’d usually never suggest a novelty item sort of present but I make an exception for this one.

Now on its 5th edition, an occasion marked by a collaboration with Selfridges (which itself seems like a rather common thing to do - but I digress), this year’s list includes things like ‘leather jackets on children’, ‘leasing SUVs’ and ‘fire pits’ - though my all-time favourite entry may have been last year, when Haslam decried the rise of ‘grieving’ (which he explained during a Radio 4 interview means “assisted grieving… grief counselling and things”) and the Northern lights.

You’ll know immediately if this is the right present for someone you love - they’ll either get it (and find it incredibly funny) or they won’t, in which case they’ll give you a slightly puzzled look come Christmas morning. Choose carefully.

The Latest Things Nicky Haslam Finds Common Tea Towel

Brought to you by Add To Wishlist brand partner Mulberry.

MULBERRY

A quintessentially British brand that I’m sure by now needs little introduction, Mulberry have got you covered this Christmas with an edit of pieces full of little luxuries that make ideal gifts. There’s something for everyone, from super-soft cashmere scarves (which FYI, you can have personalised with embroidered initials for extra brownie points), to their iconic leather accessories in an array of beautiful colours. My top picks include this small classic grain leather Postman Lock Agenda – I think there’s something quite cool about people who do their diary management the old-fashioned way, and Mulberry also sells refills so they’ll be able to use it for years to come. I’m also a mega fan of the Islington Bucket Bag (pictured below in Chalk) – the top-handle makes it feel super contemporary, and it’s elegant enough to wear as an evening bag, but still roomy enough to work as a practical daytime handbag too.

I always try to buy workaday accessories like wallets and umbrellas in fun colours - it means I get a little jolt of pleasure every time I use them - and I’m seriously considering self-gifting (ahem) myself this Darley Wallet in yellow croc. And why not upgrade any frequent flyers in your life with this red leather Darley Cosmetics Pouch – it’s an ideal travel washbag for a loved one who’s always on the go.

As a classic heritage brand, quality and craftmanship are key to Mulberry – their pieces are made to last and look even better with time, making them the perfect destination for forever-gifts this Christmas.

CLIMAX BOOKS

You’re probably already aware of Climax Books (if not, it’s the IYKYK purveyor of rare books and design ephemera beloved by the fashion crowd, founded by former Dazed Editor-in-Chief Isabella Burley) but you might not yet have clocked these extremely cute latex shoppers they launched just a few weeks ago - I honestly squealed when I saw them, and immediately made a mental note to add them to this year’s gift list. I think they’re a fab alternative to boring cloth tote bags - just looking at them makes me want to skip around town running my little errands with one of them in tow.

Climax Latex Shopper in Pink and Yellow

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